#*merrill

the realest tragedy is the dark merrill mod bc it's just an athenril recolour and like she's hot but that's not my beautiful wife

like the chasind morrigan mod is completely perfect bc it's just morrigan w a very slightly different nose and perfect colouration but

the dark merrill mod literally looks as trash as most of the "make the character white" mods make the characters look... it's so sad...

tbh i'm ok with merrill not being dark like i love her and i love skin colour contrasts w my LIs but also i wish i could just

if i knew how to mod the ideal look i would give merrill the Look of my expansive headcanon elvhen ethnic group w estel/ru/tint's colouring

i have 2 very distinct ethnic subgroups in my head of darker skinned elves... ru/tint/estel are from one and laurelin/casper r from another

the first one is like. mediumdark tanned skin w orangey undertones, tends to have red or blonde hair, and green or gold eyes.

also wavycurly hair on the side of curlier than not. and lightly freckled but not excessively. they're prone to Strong Noses + cheekbones

but sorta roundier faces and larger eyes - they look very youthful but also in older age they get really Intense laughter lines

also their ears are more like. right or equilateral triangle than the stereotypical "knife ear" thing (see: ru's ears. they're Perfect)

the other group has typically more pointed chins and longer faces, skin is a few shades darker and more purple based than reddish based

they also freckle profusely and have incredibly course but still generally sort of straight hair. tend towards blue or grey or brown eyes

they usually have naturally dark hair and naturally light eyes which contrast heavily with their skin and hair, and strong eyebrows

their nose structure is also more petite than the other group is- long with a smaller tip, slightly more indented bridge (but only slightly)

their palms are lighter and their lips are sort of purply in tone too and they have pretty pronounced under eye circles All The Time

they scar very visibly - it raises as well as appears white on the skin. in elvhenan, elves of their colour might've done scarification

(scars on the other group are more typically indented) casper obviously takes after this group but doesn't look the part so much

casper has the freckles and the dark skin + the light eyes but his hair is naturally blond + his face is rounder (tho he's also just Young)

laurelin is much more classic of that ethnic group, also since he's older his features have settled a lot more. casper gets moreso w time?

tinuviel also comes from a specific ethnic group of elves in my mind but i've given that one slightly less thought bc she's the only i have

and bc the pc she resembles most heavily is Definitely naia - both were modeled to look more or less japanese

tho. tinuviel when she gets older for sure would look p much like. elvhen gong li. who is chinese. tho she has played japanese characters...

tbh i haven't given a ton of thought to tinuviel or naia's origins looks/ethnicitywise bc there's no asia equivalent At All (yet) in thedas

tho thinkin back to the merrill thing i guess it makes sense bc she was traded from a diff clan that she wouldn't b the majority ethnicity

like it actually makes a lot of sense?? bc most of the npcs in marethari's clan including her are... darker... hm

like mostly they're not quite fitting to my thoughts on that group i've designed estel, ru, and tint to be in, but they're Closer mostly??

which also i mean suits in general p well bc i would think families might carry stronger traits but. this is elvhen diaspora. so

casimir:

i pretty much always sort of base my characters on their optimal romance based on who i'm going to romance?? like partially take inspiration for them from. that. basically?? maddi:

I DO TOO OMFG

like from the get go aras was gonna be Dorian's bae That is how aras happened

casimir:

and like there's plenty of other contributing factors obviously in no way is anyone sculpted to be The Perfect Partner

maddi:

'Gotta get the tevinter booty - need a boy elf for that' casimir: 

but like. heron was crated to be a cuddly comforting dad type who was extremely pro mage and very protective of family and people he cares about and like predominantly actually pretty anti-violence but has no problem with violent acts for a cause that helps people in the long run

maddi:

But then of course I fell in love with aras and like. His romance is almost a side thought at the moment casimir: 

so heron's character is very big but it was all originated from like. make someone who would be perfect for anders petra i didn't specifically craft this way but after i was developing their character more they turned into like

having always had a fascination with dalish culture and being very spiritually questioning and having turned from what little andrastan faith they once had after ostagar and the sack of lothering bc having gone through all of that they kind of decided that if the maker WAS real that he was a fucking asshole and that they had no interest in serving them maddi: Petra sounds hella

casimir:

they're incredibly caring and very fierce and sort of borderline feral, very unpredictable, very much a trickster kind of person, and bc they grew up with bethany and their father, fiercely protecting one, idolizing the other, they're also pretty strongly pro mage rights they're very open gender and sexualitywise but tend to be attracted predominantly towards women so with their attraction to dalish culture, unconventional views on blood magic and general rule breaking in general, fierce protective streak, and their general type attraction-wise as well as them being my youngest hawke (they're 22) their being absolutely devoted to merrill but also very attracted to and loving with in a somewhat lighter way with isabela was. pretty natural

naia has a bit of a looser moral compass, tending to not be quite as tied down feeling, and though she grew up protecting bethany, she has never felt any real bond with carver and kind of gave up trying years ago, so winding up without bethany and just with carver kind of. knocked a lot of the caring out of her. and she still cares about her friends and her family and generally about mage rights bc she is a mage but she doesn't get involved like the others do

ideally she would like to do her own thing and not get wrapped up in all this champion nonsense really but, much like isabela, she realizes that's not an option, and reluctantly rises to the occassion hence: isabela romance maddi:

You are literally so amazing ok My hawkes can all be summed up as 'snarky fucking loser in love' And tbh I've never romanced Merrill because I read her as aro and having a sexy thing with bela but like. Your Petra is just so perf for Merrill. Your hawkes are all so great casimir:

i love merrill she's my one true love tbh like petra is my canon hawke obvs and i just. i'm. merrill is truly the best love interest we all have our bias and merrill is mine but i just love her so much and her romance is so sweet and so nice and i love her so much and tbh thinking about her in world states where her clan is killed and she's not romanced breaks my fucking heart??? she's so profoundly lonely and romancing her heals a part of her she won't acknowledge is broken that only breaks more if she loses her clan like that like the rest of the companions benefit from their romances for sure but. none of them are lonely like merrill is lonely maddi:

[softly] whoops that is my world state casimir:

and romancing merrill gives her the things she craves the most. she gets a home and a family who love and care for and respect her and stand by her even through decisions that are dangerous or maybe kind of bad and then when things fall apart they stay and they hold her together so she doesn't fall apart too maddi:

Mir ur making me want to romance Merrill now casimir:

when you romance merrill there's all these little details like you can talk to orana at one point after merrill moves in and she talks about merrill asking her to help her try and learn to play piano and like bodahn and sandal are so fond of her because she's so sweet to them and just maddi:

GOSH Like romancing anders hurts but??? I feel like romancing Merrill would be jut as emotional but with JOY???? casimir:

she's such a ray of sunshine tbh like it comes through in everything like when you romance merrill isabela's the only one who says anything nice to you about it and really she mostly says "be good to her she deserves the world" but when you romance anders or fenris merrill at some point comments on both of them looking happier and they're both like "why would u say that" and merrill's like "because it's good and i care about you and i'm happy that you're happy"

and that means so much bc they're SO AWFUL to her but merrill is... used.... to people she loves being terrible to her.... and she still cares so much anyway and she doesn't just let people walk all over her she always fights back but in the end she understands that they're hurting and she loves them anyway even if they treat her like shit maddi:

Literally all I wanted for da2 was a dlc where you can fucking rip the boys a new one for being a dick to Merrill Like it makes me so mad casimir:

she's so unbelievably strong and determined but she's also just so small and so delicate and fragile sometimes that like. anders needs someone to hold him together so he doesn't collapse in on himself, but merrill needs someone to hold her hand and stand next to her, she gets all the strength she needs from just. knowing she isn't alone. maddi:

Especially with anders like??? Just because she's a blood Mage??? ANDERS BABE WHERE IS UR INTERSECTIONALITY???? casimir: 

also fun fact! i'm gay and crying i love merrill so much lmao i'm literally crying right now fucking incredible

but yeah anders and fenris are. really shit to her and it's really unfair

maddi: 

OMG MIR Don't cry gosh (Or do cry I'm not gonna lie I've cried about anders so many times) (And bela) (And fenris)

(And now cole the list goes on)

casimir: 

same tho

anyway

but she's still mostly just sunshine back to them and it? really hurts me tbh?? bc i. know that. i know how that is. i know anders' bitterness and his caring so hard it hurts but. i know merrill's caring and trying so hard anyway even though you know you might lose even more and people don't understand you and the people you love don't love you like you love them and honestly you're so lonely but it. doesn't matter so long as you can do something that helps. and. be there if they ever let themselves need you

doing what you need to do for yourself but. ultimately what she does for herself isn't just for herself. she does what she does alone because no one else will believe in her and stand by her and do it with her but she's doing it for her people it's all always for her people and petra means everything to her bc petra doesn't question it for a moment. she just asks what she needs and where she needs them to be to help her for the first time there's someone who will do everything and anything for merrill instead of her just throwing herself, literally her life force bc that is what blood magic is, to help people

like??? merrill is covered in scars and the emotional scar of how this magic makes her an outcast and feared and treated like absolute shit but she keeps doing it and hurting because she believes so strongly that this is worth fighting for and bleeding herself dry for and dying for this is worth risking her life and more because they've lost so much and while she has turned away from her path as keeper she also really hasn't

it's a keeper's job to remember and that's what she's trying to do. she would've stayed with her clan and kept on as their first if they would have let her keep her mission and stay they've lost so much and she's. willing to give up everything she has to get some of it back maddi:

I have to go to bed BUT I am super into u talking about ur faves ok so JUST KEEP SENDING ME MERRILL STUFF and yeah pls feel free to talk to me whenever because I have NO ONE TO TLK TO ABT MY DRAGON AGE PAIN casimir:

merrill is the most underrated fucking character and it makes me so angry sometimes maddi: