#*eh

Naruto stretched for too long, ofc there was minimal planning in advance, and that’s glaringly obvious in Obito’s character. Most of his actions and inactions make zero sense. World’s dumbest main villain, no seconds. He was on Zetsu buds 24/7. Only that can explain why he let Sasuke vs Deidara fight happen.

Yeah, I get he might have wanted to pit Deidara against his potential future pawn as a way to test Sasuke’s strength, especially as he’s planned Itachi’s death. But I have to ask how exactly did Obito, familiar with Deidara’s attitude, envision that fight would end? One of the angry twinks kicks the bucket. Either Deidara dies or he kills Sasuke and ruins all of Obito’s plans. And what did Obito do to prevent either of those scenarios? Literally nothing.

Deidara’s skills and ‘I cause destruction for shits’ attitude are made for Obito’s goals. Why risk losing such a powerful peace for Sasuke that unarguably did nothing for Obito’s goals? Obito gambled too much on a kid that gave him nothing. Did he reckon Sasuke is far easier to manipulate and that he’d eat up all Obito’s lies once hatred engulfs? Did he project his angsty adult teen self on Sasuke? I’m inclined to say that yes, the dumbhead had.

That all led me to wonder why Obito hasn’t let Deidara in any of his secrets, which is what prompted me to word vomit in the first place. Didn’t trust him? Knew he couldn’t control him? Flattering as that is on Deidara’s part, I highly doubt it. Maybe words would fail, but genjutsu sure wouldn’t. Moreover, Obito is a master manipulator. Deidara’s inferiority complex is his Achilles heel. Obito could have come up with a thousand and one ways of exploiting it.

Point being, Obito had options with Deidara. Which led me to suspect he didn't want to reveal the truth, which I also discarded the more I thought about it.

It’s not that he did not want to reveal anything, maybe really did, but could not. I know it sounds absurd at first glance, but allow me to elaborate.

Obito – as Tobi – is torn between two worlds with Deidara. He cannot return to the childhood innocence he once had, that world of playing ninja with Rin and Kakashi would make him feel alien now that his mindset is twisted (which is how the series should have ended imo, he achieves his perfect escapistic world and realize it doesn’t fill the void inside his soul as he knows deep down it’s all a lie. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Pain and loss are inseparable parts of life).

Nonetheless, there is a part of Obito that itches for escapism, a character trait of his (the seed bloomed when he was isolated for months in Madara’s cave, fed Madara’s pessimistic rhetoric, and could do nothing but dream. Rin’s death was a catalysis). In that sense, Tobi is a macabre mix of his childhood playfulness and the need to let go of the reins on one end, and absolute hatred for the world and ‘Madara’s’ influence on the other. There’s a misconception caused by the fillers that Tobi is this goofy fool that can do no wrong. In the manga, his jabs are way too sly. They’re well-timed. They strike. Those are mocks. He’s a bitter person that spews hatred wherever he goes. As corny as Konan’s line that he’s a darkness of this world was, she was spot-on.

On that note, there’s an even bigger misconception that Obito has done all that shit because of Rin (she’s dead, thus can’t have her Infinite Tsukuyomi; moreover, she died to prevent a biju from destroying Konoha, which Obito showed how much he respected by setting off a biju inside Konoha cuz his petty wanted Minato dead that bad), or because he genuinely believed the world is doomed and is bringing true peace to the idiots that can’t see his vision (maybe he was deluded enough to believe this in some form, but that was far from the truth).

In reality, Obito was doing it for no one but himself. He wanted to escape the world of ‘bad stuff’ and enter a dream filled with only ‘good stuff’, as White Zetsu simplified. He wasn’t some wanna-be messiah like Nagato tried to be, weathered by the horrors of the world five great nations have brought upon him and his loved ones. If you want to, you can interpret it as Obito wanting to play a hero in a wicked sense, a remnant of his dream to become a Hokage (retconned btw, for the sake of Naruto parallels, as nothing of that sort was mentioned in Kakashi’s Chronicles), but I digress.

Obito is one of the most, if not the most, emotionally fragile characters in the series. Kamui is a metaphor for dissociation. He wanted to avoid pain at all cost, unable to stomach it without a proper support (which I suppose Rin has been, wittingly or not). There are many factors that contributed to Obito’s maladjusted coping mechanism, what sort of loser he was prior to his death, said death itself, Madara’s grooming, being a black sheep within not only the elite Uchiha clan but also shinobi world itself, being shoved into the war before he could conceptualize the horrors and what sacrifice he was demanded to make, severely under-skilled for the task, being disillusioned by the system, and so on. Rin was indeed his sole lifeline, and one could argue she was the beginning of his penchant for drifting away into a world with no hurt.

Obito upheld a rather dangerous and heinous philosophy of annulment of responsibility. “Consequences of my actions don’t matter because pain won’t exist in the dream world” – such mindset allowed him to cause unnecessary destruction all around. 99% of shit he did contributed nothing to the Tsuki no Me. He caused mayhem out of his pure hatred for the world that unjustly hurt him, nothing more, nothing less. Not that far different from Deidara’s love for destruction, although reasons do differ (existential crisis and hardcore romanticism of death as an inability to come to terms with life’s inherent meaningless and fragility). Again, this is all Kishi’s mess cuz he was using the masked man as a plot device, the ultimate evildoer, but once the presence has gained a name he’s suddenly a poor little meow meow.

Off the tangent I have gone. Anyways. Obito was juggling between a world of stolen innocence (pre Madara Obito) and the angsty post Madara mess with Tobi. Goofing around with Deidara allowed such ‘dream’.

Deidara is also a juxtaposition – both tainted and unmarred by the shinobi world. Trademark Iwa pridefulness, suicidal all-or-nothing willful attitude, toxic competitiveness, inferiority complex, you name it. For a labubu height explosive parrot, he’s jampacked with exquisite flaws. On the flip side, he retains lust for life most jaded experienced missing nins lack. He’s unwavering, free to express himself (a massive taboo in the shinobi world), knows what he wants, is honest to himself, puts his passion above the bullshit logic of being an unfeeling shinobi before all, wears selfishness like a medal. If to be a shinobi means to be self-sacrificial (as Kishi was peddling with Itachi), Deidara is a failure. Very much like Obito was back in Konoha when he challenged Kakashi’s nationalistic stances, so perhaps there was a subconscious pull on Obito’s part.

As Tobi, he was a part of the Akatsuki but also not, as he didn’t do shit. Deidara, in line with his live in the moment philosophy, never asked questions. Sure, he must have been curious, but was never shown to pry or demand answers like Naruto had later on. Deidara had no use of Tobi’s past or his secrets, he was content with ‘Tobi’ he had in front of him. It was a comfortable position for Obito because it allows fence-sitting. He doesn’t have to give anything up – neither the carefree little world he’s crafted with Deidara, nor his evil master plan. In a sense, those six months he spent were a free trial Infinite Tsukuyomi.

All that falls apart the moment Deidara realizes the truth.

This isn't just about Deidara’s hatred for Sharingan and the Uchihas – that’s a tip of the iceberg. Obito has manipulated him, robbed of his freedom, tricked into fighting for a cause he’d despise if he knew of. The longer the lie goes on, the more livid would Deidara be once he figures out he’s been deceived. And that’s not even mentioning the Infinite Tsukuyomi Deidara would rather blow himself than support. He’d 101% turn on Obito. His escapism would be tainted, a presage of what will happen to the actual Infinite Tsukuyomi that Obito’s emotional immaturity cannot allow.

Alas, vacation has to end at some point. Akatsuki’s goals can’t stall forever. Zetsu will press. Nagato would ask questions, Konan’s suspicion rises, more paper is ordered from Temu. There’s a seal on his heart. A myriad of reasons. His time will Deidara as he knew it will be cut short. He has three options: reveal the truth with manipulation and continue using Deidara, or reveal it without pulling the string and let Deidara turn on him (results in either of their deaths).

Both would ruin the little fantasy he’s carved out for himself. It sounds ridiculous considering Obito is a, well, a man in his 30s and the main villain. The point I’m trying to drive home here is that Obito grapples with the smallest amounts of emotional disturbance. His (emotional) discomfort tolerance is alarmingly low. He’s highly mentally unstable, has a fragmented sense of self, empathized by his many masks and names. Obito was seen being edgy and overly dramatic many times throughout the series, lost his shit post chapter 600 too many times for me to count. He’s rather fickle, as a result of unstable ego, constantly changing his mind and making irrational moves. It’s a fluke of luck he’s gotten as far as he had. It’s plot armor on Konoha’s part that Obito was the Akatsuki’s true leader.

Since the cave, Deidara was his only bond that eludes the complications of ‘the plan’ (Ame trio, Zetsu, Kisame, Itachi, etc.). It’s the only one untainted by the duplicitous nature of the shinobi world – his little escapistic bubble. It was built through a lie but wasn’t a lie per se, regardless of whther Obito was willing to admit it to himself. The more a man lies to himself, the more the shadow (subconsciousness) influences his decisions. Obito is way less in control than he lets on. I’m not a fan of many post chapter 600 stuff, but the way he clung to the past and was unable to smoothly become the Juubi Jinchuriki (sever ties to the living world) when Madara could proves that denial was his most loyal companion.

Third option is, of course, having Deidara die.

I’m in two minds whether Obito would have done it himself in case Deidara lived long enough to become an obstacle. I guess it depends on how far he’s sipped on the ‘it doesn’t matter, senpai will be happy in my dream world’ delulu juice. Luckily for Obito, he can opt for inaction with a firecracker that eagerly awaits own demise, which is exactly what happened in canon. Cowardly, he preferred Deidara pulls his own ticket out.

That said, I believe Obito subconsciously knew Deidara’s clash with Sasuke could end in Deidara’s death, especially after he used C4, his ultimate trump card (to Obito’s awareness). He’s acquainted with Deidara’s pridefulness, impulsivity, disdain for Sharingan. He knew Deidara’s filter was ridiculously low that day. At heart, he had to have known what would happened if Deidara were cornered like an animal. Thus, shadow’s work froze his butt and levitated stupidity levels off charts that day. He’s gonna lose what he had with Deidara anyways, one way or another, might as well do it with the least amount of suffering on his part. Deidara’s too, he’s happier dying without knowing the truth.

Megatron the one who usually makes you flustered but ever now and again you catch him off guard. When you do get him off guard, he becomes very embarrassed; ducks his head down and mumbling curses. He loves you but for the love of everything don't say that stuff in public!! 

Starscream is a touched staved baby, we all know this. So when you flirt with him, depending on whether or not he’s had a hard day, he’ll either become goo at the slightest touch/affirming word or it’ll go to his head and feed his ego. His wings also flutter.

Soundwave will show you a heart emoji on his visor. He may give you a head pat as well.

Knockout's ear things will move when he's flustered and unlike Ratchet, his are noticeable. If you really get him worked up, then he may faint, but don't worry he's fine, embarrassed, but fine.

Breakdown may act like a tough guy and he is, but when it comes to you he's the biggest softy there is. When Breakdown gets flustered he'll avoid eye contact and fidget with his fingers.

Airachnid doesn't get flustered easily. She knows she's great and all so you're going to have put some effort into it. If, by chance you get her to blush, she'll become shy, more affectionate and will also try to avoid eye contact. Her spider legs won't really do anything unfortunately.

Shockwave is also hard to flirt with. He looks at things with logic and reasoning, which makes him hard to flirt with. Though if you comment on how good he looks when he works or something, his antenna things will will perk up and you'll get a thank you. (They wiggled a bit)

i am old, like bits of sand and detritus that have been pressed by the weight of life and expectations into beautiful limestone. also don’t pour pepsi on me after midnight or i will dissolve

i read, write*, and rec hockey rpf. those posts will be inventively tagged things such as “hockey rpf” “hrpf” and “fic rec”

i mostly follow the avs because i don’t have time to watch more games than that. i do try really, really hard to tag “avs lb” “avs” and “to love the avs is to love romance”

i suck at consistently tagging specific players

uh there’s something i forgot

i will generally not be mean about your team, not a good use of my one wild and precious life, etc. <3 however i will be mean about my team when necessary <333