#*angst

The droplets on her window obscure the street and house lights. Everything was a blur similar to how she felt whenever this kind of weather rolled around. She was stuck inside and stuck in her thoughts. This house was just so big and she was in it alone. With the threat of a severe lightning storm for the night, she decided that it was best to light some candles just in case the power went out. But she began to rely on them for her main source of light. The only thing she had going on right now was her record player softly playing a sweet melody.

'Anytime you're scared don't hesitate to call me. I don't care if the world is coming to an end I'll always find my way to you.'

Every drop that hit her window so harshly triggered a different memory that she had about times like this when she wasn't alone.

Y/n wasn't fond of the frequent, harsh thunderstorms of spring, but Taylor loves them. Ironically she said it was the perfect weather for thinking but right now that's the last thing Y/n wants to do. Her mind tends to wander to Taylor her no matter how hard she tries to distract herself. She's normally never scared, but each roll of the thunder shook her more than the last. She couldn't help but feel like she was being tormented, and reminded that this was all her fault. She was the one who fucked things up and because of that she may never see Taylor again.

It's not like Taylor would never try though. Against her better judgment, she was going to get what she wanted. She was an idiot to be out in this weather, but it pales in comparison to the despair felt being alone. The last two months have been hell. So much so that she drove an hour just to end up on Y/n's doorstep. Her pride was completely gone and she needed to be let in.

Y/n was startled to hear someone banging on her front door. It was akin to the sound of thunder outside. She wasn't sure expecting anybody, and she certainly wasn't in trouble, so she was hesitant. The person on the other side banged again but this time she heard them yell "it's me!"

“Taylor?!” Of all the people who could end up on the other side of her door in torrential rain, it seems both surprising and fitting that it’s her former lover. Y/n is speechless and her head begins to hurt at the mere sight of her. The rain is beating down on her hard but Taylor seems unphased by it. Being the person she is, Y/n wasn’t going to just let Taylor stand out in this torrential rain. She could get sick or something and she’d feel awful about it. Besides, she came all this way for a reason. She stepped to the side and that was all the permission Taylor needed to come in.

Everything is the same as it was the last time she was here a few months ago. Taylor wonders if it’s still the same because Y/n can’t be bothered to get rid of her things or if she knew she was going to come crawling back. Y/n watches her surveying the space and feels slightly embarrassed. Everything is a mess, like she hasn’t been taking care of herself or her things and that’s something she doesn’t want Taylor to see.

She turns around and they finally get to look at each other. She’s dreamed about Taylor so much in her absence but it’s not the same as the real thing. She looks worn out, and seeing her like that makes Y/n feel awful. It still feels like her duty to be the one to take care of her.

“W-why are you here?”

“I really don’t know.”

It was a poor excuse, but partially the truth. Taylor doesn’t know what possessed her of all nights to come. Maybe just to see her face? Or be around her? They’re not doing anything, just staring at each other like idiots, but she doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

Y/n’s eyes look to the floor and Taylor follows the trail to notice that she’s leaving a puddle on her floor.

“Sorry,” she mutters.

“It’s alright.”

Y/n begins to help her dry off. Unsurprisingly she still has a few of Taylor’s clothes tucked away in her closet so she’ll have something warm to be in for the night. The implication that Taylor won’t be leaving tonight is unspoken despite that not being the healthiest idea for either of them.

“You can use the shower if you want. I’ll put whatever you want me to clean in the washer.”

She spoke to her in such a clinical manner. Taylor was trying not to come off as upset, but this felt so foreign to her. Nonetheless, she accepted Y/n’s offer and nods her head in the direction of the shower.

“I’ll leave them outside the door.”

She nods and leaves Taylor alone to take care of herself.

Seeing her face is admitingly unnerving, but what freaks her out even more is how natural it felt to slip back into the role of being her lover and taking care of her. Y/n was always the nurturer in the relationship. Taylor was a woman with a thousand things on her plate. She was truly larger than life when she was in the public eye, and only Y/n was allowed to peak inside and see her for who she is. Who Taylor is inside is a lost puppy who will come crawling back to her owner when the world got too mean. Someone so meek and unassuming had so much power over her Y/n didn’t like to reckon with that reality, but Taylor showing up in a downpour makes it too loud to ignore.

When Y/n goes to collect Taylor’s clothes she can hear the water from the shower beating down onto the shower floor. Steam escapes from the bottom of the door and she can feel the heat. Taylor always liked her showers hot which is why Y/n never joined her for one whenever she asked. She would playfully denied the requests, not wanting to feel the scalding water beat her skin. Never would she join her in all their years together, but some divine force compels her to open the door and go be with her.

Taylor doesn’t hear the door slowly crack open over the shower, nor the soft foot steps that follow. Y/n pauses just to watch the outline of her body move as the water washes the day off of her. ‘You’re intruding. She’s not going to want you’ some voice tries to talk some sense into her. Taylor is well within her right to reject her, but Y/n holds onto the fact that she’s always been a little desperate for her attention. She needs Y/n. She needs Taylor.

Y/n’s clothes fall to the ground and she slowly approaches the shower. She grabs the curtain and opens it, steam rushing into her face. Taylor immediately turns around and Y/n gasps when she sees the look on her face. The bewilderment that colors her features brings Y/n back to reality. Regret instantly hits her and she feels tears welling in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“No, Y/n-“

Y/n rushes out of the bathroom before Taylor could stop her. However, she quickly steps out and is hot on her trail while haphazardly covering herself with the towel she laid out for her. Y/n’s heart was beating so fast she felt panic begin to wash over her. What she did was wrong. Everything.

“Y/n,” she calls out her name in hopes that she won’t try to hide from her. Her house is quite small, it won’t be hard to find her. She was shocked at her appearance in the bathroom, but Taylor wasn’t mad at her.

After finding an empty living room and kitchen, the last resort was her bedroom; the bedroom they often shared. Y/n was on the bed with a blanket covering her body. She wouldn’t look at Taylor as she approached her.

“Y/n.”

She was unresponsive to the call of her name. Completely frozen.

Taylor grabs her cheeks and makes her look up at her. For the first time in months she’s finally gets to look directly into those sweet eyes of hers. She has to stop a smiling from forming because she doesn’t feel like it’s the right moment, but God does she just want to fawn over Y/n like she is so use to doing.

“It’s okay,” Taylor’s voice is the softest it’s ever been. Y/n did nothing wrong even if she did scare the shit out of Taylor. But she can imagine that her showing up at her doorstep was more jarring.

Y/n just blinks at Taylor, having nothing to say for herself. Ever since she left she has felt like she has nothing to say; she doesn’t have a voice anymore. She remembers screaming at her in anger and hurting her throat so much that it was scratchy for days after. She stayed quiet to rest her voice but felt like she had nothing else to say after that.

“I’m sorry.”

Her voice is a little more steady than it was in the bathroom, but still Taylor hates to see her like this. This isn’t the Y/n she knows. It breaks her to see someone who was always so cheery to sound like they’ve been through hell and back. Y/n was always there waiting to pick up the pieces of Taylor when she came back to her broken, and now it feels like Taylor should do the same. However that’s not her place anymore.

“You don’t need to keep saying that. You don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who showed up unannounced.”

Taylor just wanted to be close to her. She came here for a reason that aren’t nefarious, but it feels that way when her hand lands on Y/n’s bare back. She’s missed how warm and soft she is that touching her feels electric. She just wanted to talk to her tonight, but she didn’t expect to have the conversation while they two of them were naked.

“Why are you here, Taylor? You haven’t come around in months, why now? Why do you want to see me?”

Y/n almost expected Taylor to hate her. She ruined everything between them because she was scared. Their last moment together were of them saying downright awful things to each other. That was the last recent memory Taylor had of her and she still decided to come tonight.

“I can’t miss you?” She slightly jokes to hide her sadness. She’s spent over 60 days alone. The most interaction she’s had is with the checkout lady at the grocery store near her new apartment. There’s nothing on the walls of the new place she now calls home. Just the bland off-white paint. Saying she misses her would be an understatement.

“So you decide to show up in this weather?”

Hearing it from her reminds Taylor of how pathetic she is. She should feel some shame, but she’s so use to being laid bare with Y/n that she doesn’t feel an ounce of it.

“You don’t think me missing you is enough to explain why I did something like that?” Taylor is still in love with the girl in front of her, she would come to her even in a hurricane. “I don’t think I’ll survive if I stay away from you Y/n.”

“So what now? We’re supposed to get back together? Act like we never said those things to each other? We still dislike things about each other. It’s done. Everything is ruined.”

Y/n’s anger was rising, but she wasn’t mad at Taylor. She was mad at herself. Why had she let things turn into this? Their relationship was so good with the veneer covering it, but you can’t hide the cracks with that. It only took one thing to expose their weak foundation. Y/n felt this was a fucked up version of love while Taylor thought anything and everything could be worked out. They were never going to be perfect, but everything was so good, fixable. Taylor was the dreamer, the hopeful one of the relationship. She believed while Y/n couldn’t get past her own pessimism and self-loathing to see the world from Taylor’s perspective.

Taylor feels defeated and like they’re heading towards the same arguments they were having towards the end of their relationship. She feared that they would get caught up in this toxic loop and her memories of Y/n would be tainted. Taylor is always the one who stays too long but that’s because she needs people.

“It doesn’t have to be like that, Y/n! We don’t have to be mad at each other forever!” She was beginning to beg, embarrassingly so but she was desperate. “I forgive you for what you said. You were angry, and I…I forgive you.”

She knows it’s hard for her to say those words, but she says them as if they’ve been playing on her lips for a long time now. Y/n lets out a sigh of frustration. Taylor has her trapped again and she feels herself falling back into an old habit. They argue about something and then they fall into bed together. Despite how serious the moment is, Y/n feels that itch and she shifts uncomfortably. Taylor reads it as her not being able to handle the conversation.

“I didn’t come here to argue with you.”

“Then why did you come here, Taylor?”

She pauses for longer than she wanted to. When she brings her eyes up to look at Y/n, they’re glassy and unreadable.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Taylor recalls back to the moment Y/n barged in on her in the shower. She was standing there naked like she was just so ready to come in. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for them to be naked around each other they were dating, but now the action just seemed out of the ordinary. The outline of her naked body replays over and over in her head, and Taylor wouldn’t be truthful if she said it didn’t turn her on. Part of the reason she came over was because she had that itch. Lying in bed alone for months made it easy for her to miss and think about the warmth of Y/n’s body next to her. She came over because she needed to do something about it.

“Come here, Y/n,” her command comes out of nowhere, but Y/n finds herself moving closer to Taylor. Her voice always brought a more submissive side out of Y/n that it bordered on pure obedience. Even with their relationship crumbling to the ground, she still listened to her without doubt. She sits before her, bodies even closer now, and her hands are on her hips. “Move the blanket,” she asks and she listens.

Y/n feels a breeze hits her the second she pulls the covers off of her body. There is now very little fabric separating them. Taylor is naked under her own towel, but she keeps it on for now. She takes in the sight of Y/n’s naked body again, her chest beginning to rise and fall faster now, and the little goosebumps that begin to form on her skin. She has seen her naked for what feels like a million times, but this feels different, like she’s inviting Taylor in on a secret.

“I’ve missed you,” is all she manages to say, her legs parting as she does.

Taylor looks down to where her legs have widened. It was an invitation she was still hesitant to take, but her body screamed for her to take action. She leaned into Y/n so they were within kissing distance. Instead of doing that though they just hover around each other. She scans Y/n’s face for any sign that she doesn’t want this. When she doesn’t find that, she takes control like Taylor always does and finally kisses her. Soft lips on hers and a sigh of relief that follows is all that she needs. Only months apart, but Y/n’s lips feel so foreign to her and Taylor wants to correct that. She begins to move her lips quicker, more hurried, in an attempt to memorize the feeling of them again. Y/n follows her lead and kisses Taylor back with just as much fervor.

They don’t mean to come off as so needy, but they’re both wildly kissing each other and their hands start to find their way to familiar territory. Taylor lets out a little “fuck” when she feels Y/n’s hand run across her chest. She takes advantage of the moment of weakness and slips her tongue into Taylor’s mouth. It was sloppier than intended but was warranted for the situation at hand. She tastes like her favorite tea with a faint trace of that flavored lip balm she loves so much. Taylor can’t get enough of the simples things about her that she missed so much. She wraps her arm around Y/n and presses her body into hers. Y/n moans at the feeling of their chests bumping together, nipples grazing her skin only to give her even more goosebumps. She feels a more feral side of herself coming out, the side that has wanted this for weeks now. Her teeth sink into Taylor’s bottom lip just enough to cause a little sting, but not enough to heart. Taylor lets out a pathetic whimper when she lets go and she’s left there with slightly bruised lips from kissing and roughness.

“Y/n, do you-“

“I want this. I want this so bad that I don’t want to keep talking about it anymore.

Taylor had her blessing and that’s all that she needed.

Taylor’s towel is tossed to the side and the two roll around in Y/n’s bed completely naked. Her hair was still stamp from the interrupted shower from earlier, but that doesn’t stop Y/n from running her hands through it. She missed how it felt to thread her finger throughout Taylor’s locks and then tug at it when she was going down on her. She mimics that action and it makes Taylor hunger for her in that particular way.

“Lay back for me baby and spread your legs…just like that,” she sighs when she sees her on the bed with her legs fully parted now. “Good fucking girl.”

Y/n’s arousal clings to her thighs as they part wider. Taylor won’t stop staring at the budding mess between her legs and it makes Y/n’s skin heat up in embarrassment. It’s a testament to how much she wanted her, she didn’t have to outright say the words. She wanted to beg for her, but Y/n wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted, she just wanted to feel good and feel her press her body on top of hers.

“You’re so fucking wet. I did that to you?”

Taylor began to take on a teasing tone, one that was much more familiar than the hesitance she displayed earlier. It made Y/n’s heart jump hearing Taylor talk to her like that. She missed how she could easily take control and be dominant over her. The cards always fell that way, even if she attempted to be the one in that position. But no, it was always Taylor’s name she was crying out at the end of the night as she had her way with Y/n’s pliant body. She nods her head quickly in response to her question. A hand comes between her legs to play with her silky pedals. Y/n sharply inhales as her body is engulfed in pleasure. All it takes is one touch and she already feels like she’s going to cum. It’s pathetic almost, but both are too turned on to even give a damn.

“Taylor,” she moans weakly. She can see it in her eyes that she wants Y/n to give her more. Her whimpers and small moans were cute and all, but what Taylor loved about her most was how she would beg for what she wanted without a second thought.

“Shh baby. What do you want from me? What do you need from me?”

Taylor asks her the load bearing questions and it’s fully charged. Y/n knows that she’s asking that in relation to this moment, but she can’t help but think she’s asking her that in general. The only answer she can conjure up in her lust-addled is her physical body. Her presence has been greatly missed and she wants to take full advantage of Taylor being right here.

“I want you inside of me,” she whispers breathlessly. She needed more than just her touch, she needed for Taylor to wear her thin and tire her out. Y/n was already mentally and emotionally exhausted from what happened between them that she needed to physically feel it too.

Taylor was shocked to hear the words coming out of her mouth. She didn’t want to wait for her to warm her up because she was already ready. Y/n had been ready for weeks now for her to come back and claim her body like she owned it. It was like if she waited a second longer than she would just disappear. She was so direct that she had to oblige.

A teasing smile forms on her face as she looks at her. “You’re that desperate to have me inside of you?” She only responds with a nod. Well, who was Taylor to deny her of what she so politely asked for? Taylor knew where everything was still stored and she didn’t hesitate to hop off the bed and find the strap-on that she had left her. Truthfully she had left that and a few other things here so she had an excuse to come back. She never thought she would be coming back here and using it again on Y/n though. When she returns to the bed with it Y/n already had pulled the bottle of lube from what they called the “midnight” bedside table they used for occasions like this. Y/n was already dripping for her, but her grabbing that bottle let Taylor know that she didn’t want her to go easy on her.

“Are you sure?”

She couldn’t help but ask Y/n one last time if she really wanted this. Taylor knows the lust may be clouding her judgment, but they were both under, together.

“Please don’t make me wait. I can take it.”

Taylor knew what Y/n was asking of her and wasn’t too tripped up to not give her exactly what she’s asking for. She wanted everything she had to give her; from the anger that still lingered because of their last argument to the love she still had for her and will probably carry forever. Sex between them was often passionate and bored on rough at times. Y/n had toyed with the idea of exploring a deeper side to sex, something more along the lines of bdsm than just simple rough sex. She had craved a deep feeling of giving up control, and not just to anybody, but to Taylor. The way her hands always dug into Y/n’s hips whenever she ate her, fucked her, or just simply existed in public with her showed her more possessive side. She held onto her as if she never wanted to let go. Tonight is not different.

Y/n gasps when her face is being pressed into the bed. Her ass is up in the air, legs spread enough to display her pussy to Taylor. She ran the head of her strap against Y/n’s sweet petals, but she didn’t waste another second not being inside of her. She pushed in with one slow drag and Y/n felt the wind knocked out of her. Her heartbreak has lead to a low interest in pleasing herself, so this was the first kind of stretch she has felt in weeks. Those weeks almost feel like years the way her pussy takes a bit to adjust to the thickness and length.

“Holy shit,” she lets out a ragged breath. Y/n fists the bed beneath her the deeper and harder Taylor goes. She doesn’t want to be greedy, but she wants to be for her to go faster. Against what may be her better judgment, she doesn’t want to hold back, so she eggs Taylor on. “Please baby, fuck me harder than that!”

She doesn’t mean to come off as mocking, but that’s how Taylor takes it. Y/n was challenging her, and she’s never one to back down. Taylor grabs onto the flesh of her hips forcefully and begins fucking her faster. Quickly her pace became brutal since Y/n made it clear she could handle it. The moans turned into broken sobs and she had a vice grip on the fabric beneath them. The way she had just turned into this pliant mess for her so quickly turned Taylor on. And Y/n was right to assume that Taylor had so much pent up inside of her. Inside was a rambunctious energy that was begging to be released. Anytime she was rough with Y/n her movements were intentional, but right now she couldn’t see or thinking straight. The only thing keeping her grounded to Earth was Y/n’s cries of pleasure mixed with pain. Feeling the skin of her ass meeting her thighs felt unreal, like something she has only dreamed of before and never actually had.

“You like that? Feels fucking good?” Taylor couldn’t stop the words that came out of her mouth. She said that everything Y/n had said to her didn’t bother her, but the anger loomed inside made her want to be mean to Y/n. Taylor would never cross a line, but she certainly used this moment to get her anger out. “What kind of a slut breaks her ex’s heart then lets them use her body?”

Taylor didn’t mean to come off so pointed, but her feelings were hard to hide. She was hurt, and while no amount of sex could heal that, Taylor didn’t mind if this was the way to make her temporarily feel better.

Y/n buries her face into the bed and cries into it. She doesn’t know if the tears are from sadness or because how good the cock feels inside of her. Taylor had angled her hips and began to directly hit the spot inside of her that made Y/n’s toes curl. She felt heavy and weightless at the same time. She didn’t care if it was slutty to let her use her body for temporary satisfaction, she felt like she almost owed it to her.

“Have nothing to say for yourself?” Taylor continued to degrade her in attempt to make her feel so low like she did that now. Later Taylor will feel guilty about it, but not right now. Y/n couldn’t say anything in retaliation because she could barely think straight. Registering her words was already hard enough. She could see stars as her orgasm bubbled up inside of her while Taylor was relentless. She almost reached back to slow her down, but this is what Y/n told Taylor she wanted. She was a big girl and she could take her.

“I-I’m gonna cum, Taylor!” She manages to choke out.

As soon as the words left her lips, Taylor’s hips came to a complete stop. She rutted deep inside of her and all Y/n could do was just lay there and accept it. She mewled and whimpered, desperate for Taylor to move again but she wasn’t in control here.

“Tell me why you deserve to cum,” she commands, earning a groan from Y/n. When a few seconds past and she didn’t answer, she began to grow impatient. “If you don’t give me an answer I’m going to walk out that door and leave you broken and unsatisfied.”

The tears that flowed from her face were not tears of frustration, no longer pleasure. Taylor never deprived her what she wanted, no matter how rough they were playing. This was different though. Y/n knew she had to muster up the energy (and courage) to find the words she wanted to hear.

“Please Taylor…I just…” she sighs deeply when she feels her move just a little, even that gives her some sort of satisfaction, but Y/n is still desperate for more. “I-I’m sorry, just please make me cum! I’ll good! I promise!”

Her words are enough for Taylor to start moving inside of her again. Even if it’s still a slow pace, Y/n will take it.

“You gonna cum for me? Only me?”

“Yes! Only you!”

“Forever?”

“Forever!”

Taylor felt kind enough to give her what she wanted after her admission whether it was going to be reality or not. The harder she pushed her to the edge, the more willing Y/n was to jump off. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears as she saw stars. She’s never cum as hard as she has in this moment. Her entire body tenses up as Taylor continues to hit the spot that made her like this. Over and over again Taylor fucks into her, fucking her through her orgasm until she couldn’t take anymore. Now Y/n feels brave enough to reach back and slow her down, but Taylor still doesn’t relent until she feels like it’s time to.

When Taylor pulls out she admires the sloppy messy she’s caused. Y/n collapses against the bed, tired and out of breath. Taylor reveled in the state she was in, but reality began to set in as the seconds past. She just fucked her ex-girlfriend, the one she thinks is truly the love of her life, but the one she can’t be with.

“Taylor,” Y/n sighs weakly as she tries to push herself up. Her attempt is a failure, but luckily Taylor helps her flip onto her back. Y/n stares up at her, tears still in her eyes. She knows there’s nothing left to say, but she tries to find something, anything to say to her.

Taylor looks at her with regret. They complicated things. They really complicated things. Taylor has nothing to say either, so she just dresses herself up. It gives Y/n flashbacks to post-sex mornings where Taylor is getting ready for the day and she gets to watch her from their bed. Y/n would ask her what she looked forward to most about the day and she always said coming home to her. Now the tone is totally somber and there’s no amount of conversation that could change that. Y/n watches Taylor silently put herself together.

“I’m sorry.”

He was supposed to be invincible. Nothing could hurt him, nothing could kill him. And yet a tiny green rock had brought him to his knees.

Clark had been exposed to radioactive material before and it had never affected him like this before. This was nothing he had ever seen before. A glowing green shard that hurt him to simply be near was something completely out of this world. Just like him.

Y/N had tried her best to keep her wits about her, but she was so scared that she was going to lose Clark. The way his skin had greyed and his movements became sluggish showed her that something was wrong before either of them could piece together what it was.

“Clark, what’s happening?” she asked him, her voice shaking from trying to hold her panic at bay.

“I don’t know,” Clark said through gritted teeth. He was scared too, but he couldn’t let it show. He had to be strong for Y/N, just as he had every single day.

The shard had pierced through his suit and his skin, drawing blood and immediately immobilising him. He’d never felt such pain before, or any pain, and truly felt like he was dying. They needed to get it out of him sooner rather than later.

“Honey, I need you to pull it out,” he said as he looked at Y/N. Seeing her so upset broke his heart and felt worse than what was physically happening to him.

“Pull it out, how?” she asked, tears pricking her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you any more.”

“I know, but it needs to come out,” Clark said. He placed a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, trying to reassure her. “It probably can’t hurt you, so you’ll need to use your hands.”

As soon as he’d said it, her hands started to shake. Y/N wasn’t too keen on pulling splinters out of her own skin, but a shard like that? The thought of making Clark bleed to death terrified her.

Get a hold of yourself, she thought. Clark’s going to die if you stand here long enough.

Y/N took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly, trying to shove her panic back down. She gingerly took hold of the shard and tugged on it gently, cringing when Clark groaned in pain.

“No, keep going,” he said through sharp breaths.

Just a single drop of Clark’s blood on her hand was enough to send her mind spiralling. The shard was lodged in between his ribs and she had a terrible feeling that it was close to his lungs.

Y/N took another deep breath and held it as she placed one of her hands on Clark and the other on the shard. She let her eyes drift down to meet his and saw him pleading with her to pull it out. Any words exchanged would just be a waste of time and energy so she just nodded before pulling on the shard as hard and fast as she could.

The scream Clark let out was heart-wrenching. He’d never made a sound like that in his entire life. He’d never needed to. Tears immediately began to fall from Y/N’s eyes as she threw the shard as far away from them as possible and she gathered him into her arms. He weakly clung onto her as she cried into his shoulder, trying to soothe her.

“Hey,” he said hoarsely. “You did what you were supposed to do.”

Y/N knew that she had saved his life, but his words didn’t make her feel any better. She never wanted to have to do that ever again or have to see Clark hurt. It only reminded her of just how fragile she was compared to him, how she could easily be squashed like a bug by something that would just bounce off of him.

“You’re still bleeding,” she said softly as she drew away from him. “I don’t have any bandages.”

“I’ll be fine, it’ll probably heal up quick,” Clark groaned as he tried to sit up, his ribs screaming in protest.

Thinking quickly, she tore a strip of fabric from the bottom of her shirt and wrapped it around Clark’s ribs in a makeshift bandage. A red bloom of his blood quickly appeared but she figured that it was better than letting him bleed to death.

“I know you were scared, but you did really well,” Clark said as he took Y/N’s hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand softly, his body shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his system.

“I thought you were going to die, Clark,” she sobbed.

“I know, I thought so too, but you were brave when you needed to be.”

He let her cling to him as she cried, getting all of her suppressed emotions out of her until she ran out of tears.

“What the hell was that thing, Clark?” Y/N asked as she dried her eyes.

“I don’t know, but it’s obviously something that’s only dangerous to me,” Clark said. “We need to keep an eye out for that, make sure we stay away from it.”

“I’d destroy every trace of that rock for you if it were possible,” she said.

“Thank you,” he said before kissing her tenderly. His lips were dry and chapped against her damp ones. “There’s bound to be more of it out there, so we just have to be careful.”

Y/N nodded and continued to hold Clark as he regained his strength. It was dark when they’d first found the rock and the sun was now starting to rise, a thin strip of light shining onto Clark’s face. The amount of sunlight was the equivalent of a drop of water, but it was enough for him to be able to move without being in pain.

“Come on,” he said, “let’s go home.”

“Can you walk?” Y/N asked as they stood up together. He gathered her into his arms and she felt her feet lift off the floor.

It’s not like it was the first time Atsumu had become a bit snappy. You had laughed together, fought together and been by each other’s side for a long time. His temper was nothing to be scoffed at, and you were by no means unfamiliar with an unhappy Atsumu.

But you were just so fed up with hearing those words, spat at you so casually like they weren’t the equivalent of somebody throwing a brick at you. Words that spit in the face of every bit of care and sacrifice you have put into Atsumu, and your heart soured.

“Okay then,” you said with a shrug. Act casual, you told yourself, as you shoved every bit of hurt into the deepest depths of your consciousness, to be looked into later.

You had only been chattering about your friends when he got grumpy, but looking at him now as you both ate in silence, you wondered why you were sitting there when you could be with other people who would actually quite enjoy your company, instead of a guy too busy thinking about something else to give you a bit of their time. 

He didn’t even say thank you for the bento you made, your brain harped unhelpfully, your anxiety beginning to create more and more reasons for you to be fed up with him the more you fixed on the subject.

You studied his features as he continued to wolf down his food and noticed that he didn’t have that little vein popping out of his head when he got mad, his leg wasn’t bouncing and the tips of his ears were completely normal-coloured. It wasn’t unusual for him to be thoughtless about his words- Atsumu’s most comfortable relationship is with a volleyball, after all- but flat out dismissal like that from him wasn’t something you liked being on the receiving end of, and a heavy weight settled in your belly as you realised that, considering how absolutely fine he was now, that snapping at you like that wasn’t a byproduct of something else, like a bad day or bad mood. If there was nothing else, then that meant the only thing bothering him was you.

The warning bell rang, signalling it was time to get back to class.

“Wait!” he said, tilting the bento to his face and shovelling the rest in his mouth before handing it to you wordlessly.

You took it, your knuckles white on the dirty lunchbox.

“Do you actually think I give a damn about that?” Atsumu rolled his eyes. “Why would I care?”

Your teeth clenched together as you struggled to keep the smile on your face. For the sake of your sanity, and potentially your school reputation, you would not fight with Atsumu in your place of learning. You would not call him an insufferable dipshit for being completely self-absorbed all the time. Instead, you plastered a smile onto your face, crinkling your eyes so it looked real. You shrugged at Atsumu’s question.

“I guess because I do.”

Atsumu looked at you in disbelief, eyebrow raised as you put your things back in your bag, taking just a few seconds to prepare yourself to leave. “Where are you going?”

“Literally anywhere else,” you said cheerfully, sending him a cheeky smile as you pushed your chair back under the table and slung your bag over your shoulder. “Bye.”

You could see it in his face, as soon as you’d said that he should care because you did, that he thought you were ridiculous. Were you one to leave abruptly, or to avoid the conversation normally? Generally, no. But that weight in your stomach, the one that has taken residence in you whenever Atsumu was around, was monstrous and you were not prepared, yet, to deal with it head on.

“He probably didn’t notice you were upset,” Osamu wasn’t really surprised to hear about Atsumu’s shortcomings, considering he knew about most of them beforehand- but even he knew he was mostly defending his brother out of habit. “It’s nationals in a couple of weeks, maybe his simple mind is a bit too one track right now.”

You shrugged your shoulders and continued with your task, folding the team jerseys one by one just a little slower than normal. When you joined the volleyball team as a manager, it was only because Atsumu had asked you to. To spend more time together, so you would know a little more about his interests. It was fun.

Yet, as time wore on, you realised Atsumu’s greatest flaw - his priorities. No setter was more considerate of his spikers, more dedicated to that end than anybody else. But that left little room for anybody else, with even his twin becoming left behind at times. His dedication to the sport was something you still admired, and truly loved about him. 

It was easier to watch his dedication from afar, than to watch his back turn on you as he pleased from up-close.

“I’m moving away,” you said abruptly, eyes not once leaving your tasks. “That’s why I wanted to talk to him.”

Osamu blinked, surprise on his features as he processed the information.

“I’m really tired of hearing the words ‘I don’t care’ and ‘why should I care’,” you said bitterly. “No matter what he’s said to me, what we’re doing, I always care when it comes to him. And it’s exhausting.” With one final twist of your hands, the final jersey was folded and you picked up the pile, moving towards the door towards the gym. Osamu, still trying to make sense of the situation, took a moment to follow you.

“If I hear those words come out of Atsumu’s mouth again I won’t bother anymore. If he doesn’t care, then that’s fine.”

Atsumu was annoyed.

“Where is ___?” he asked, huffing. It had been several days since he had seen or heard from you, and he was frustrated. You never showed up at your lunch spot anymore and he went without lunch twice this week, expecting the bento you made for him daily. You didn’t answer his texts either, and he was getting more and more frustrated.

He forgot to pack his socks for practice because you hadn’t texted him to remind him. He was always hungry. He had to bring out his own lotion for his annoyingly dry hands because he couldn’t steal yours. Lunch was quiet without your chattering, even if he couldn’t be bothered to listen, and the bus ride to school in the morning was tedious at best, considering that Osamu was on class duty and leaving earlier than usual. He would never admit this out loud, but you were the glue that held him together - Osamu never bothered to, and he knew that with you as his foundation, he didn’t have anything to worry about. It was almost embarrassing for him to admit to himself how lost he had been without you.

Osamu turned his head in disbelief at his brother, brows furrowed. “What?” He knew that his brother had been out of it, hyperfocused on the upcoming nationals match, but this was a new level even for him. “You serious, man? They moved to Tokyo yesterday. I asked you to come out with us and you said no. You don’t remember this?”

No, he didn’t. 

And the wind rushed out of him as he stared at his brother in disbelief.