#* soundtrack.

i spent so many years forgetting i had teeth ... blush, a playlist.

girls like you by the naked and the famous - self explanatory from the get-go ("don't you know people write songs about girls like you?"). alice is someone who is easily romanticized by others, but that same romanticization is also self-inflicted too. despite being very surface-level cynical, i do think alice is an idealist, but not necessarily in a healthy way. she sets up expectations for herself to be the sort of girl people would write about, she wants to be memorable after she dies, even if it's not necessarily for good reasons. her sense of value is very much dependent on how people perceive her. ("how could you dance if no-one was watching / and you couldn't even get off the floor?") she makes herself emotionally inaccessible, not just because she is, but also because she wants people to wonder about her. ("and your heart is a stone / buried underneath your pretty clothes.") she doesn't want to give all of herself away, she wants there to always be this wall between herself and other people so they can keep on romanticizing her. when you get to a certain level of attention, you start making a myth of yourself. she doesn't know how to cope with the idea of being "normal" or forgotten about or not being wanted in some way, so she has to be memorable. ("how would you feel if nobody chased you? / what if it happened tonight?")

don't delete the kisses by wolf alice - i lied in my last post. THIS is The Song Of All Time. it's another song about yearning, which you all know i love. more specifically, it's about yearning for and wanting love, but feeling like it's something you're not supposed to have because you don't deserve it or you're so scared of it. (example, the line: "what if it's not meant for me?"). it's about self-sabotaging your chance at love for those reasons. ("and here's the night bus, i have to go / and the doors are closing, and you were waving / and i like you, and i'll never let it show.") it's very much the aliceadam theme song from an alice perspective.

glory box by portishead - literally The Song Of All Time, in my opinion. i imagine alice did a cover of this at some point and that lives in my mind rent free. this song is also about sex, i guess. i mean, it is and it isn't. correction: i think it's about a sexual dynamic, with the woman in the relationship trying to gain some agency and ownership over her body. which again, is another recurring theme here at crushsung dot tumblr dot com. anyways, this song is sort of considered a feminist anthem, which i suppose it is if you want to interpret it that way. but in the case where we are applying this song to alice, i think it's less about like "women deserve bodily autonomy and authority in a relationship with a man" and more about like "i will not let anyone else take my body away from me". classic trauma response. i probably have more to say about this song both as its own piece and in relation to alice, but this post is getting way too long.