#* lmao

i know its not that big of a deal, things happen, but damn does it hurt knowing that i auditioned for h.airspray and didn’t get in, nor got asked to be on the crew. i feel like ive been blacklisted or shunned or something. like yeah i cant really sing but i can dance, and there were like three background roles i could have done.

idk it just feels like my mask has fallen off; like im being Percieved as not normal, like my audhd is off the charts and people are seeing me/treating me like i’m stupid. i’ve tried So Hard to fit in and be cool like them but most of the time it just. feels like they’re nice to me to my face but behind my back they’re mean. it just hurts bc they seemed happy to see me, and it seems like ppl like me but idk.

sorry its late i’m just in my feels and not getting cast in this show is really hitting hard for some reason, esp since ive worked with the director, choreographer, and stage manager before. and another friend i auditioned with got asked to be on the crew.

Tonight I go to retrieve a half filled bag of chips from the shelf.