#(headcannon)

Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…

“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”

There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.

“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.

“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”

The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.

“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”

Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.

“Say that again.”

Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.

“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”

Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.

“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”

“Bullseye!”

Ive got my spark back! I genuinely enjoy writing again.Fun fact i was TERRIBLE at English at school,failed in consistently 😔.Why the actual hell are childlock things so hard to open, like Jesus Christ.

Batboys x Reader; kicking them in the balls

Bruce Wayne

Grim silence. Internal agony. External stoicism.

It was an accident-maybe a sleepy leg twitch in bed or a mistimed training maneuver. Either way, you connect. Clean.

He freezes. Shoulders tense.

“…I’m fine.”

No, he is not fine. He doubles over with the slow grace of a falling statue.

You panic.

“Oh my god, Bruce! Are you okay?!”

He waves you off with a breathless wheeze.

“It’s nothing. I’ve been stabbed before.”

“Yeah, but this is worse.”

He gives you a look. You give him ice. And maybe something sugary. He accepts both.

⸻

Dick Grayson

Reaction: Instant dramatic collapse. Will never let you live it down.

You were play-wrestling, he got cocky, and BAM - your knee goes rogue.

He drops like a sack of potatoes.

“BETRAYAL. IN MY OWN HOME.”

He’s lying on the floor moaning dramatically like he’s auditioning for Les Misérables.

“Babe… I see the light. Tell Alfred I fought bravely.”

You’re trying so hard not to laugh.

“Do you want an ice pack?”

“I want your eternal regret and cuddles. Also yes, ice.”

He brings it up at every family dinner for the next five years.

⸻

Jason Todd

Tough guy façade cracks in real-time

You’re straddling him, things are getting heated, and then your heel slips. Direct hit.

He gasps like he got shot again.

“Oh-holy sh-hang on-just-fuck-“

You’re mortified. He’s curled up like a shrimp.

“Jason?! I’m so sorry!”

He weakly raises a hand. “Not your fault. I was… unarmored.”

When he recovers, he teases you relentlessly.

“Can’t believe you tried to take me out. In the middle of foreplay.”

“You can’t joke about this.”

“Babe. You hit the Red Hood in his Red Hood.”

⸻

Tim Drake

Instant panic. Frozen like a shocked Roomba.

It was innocent. Maybe you turned over in bed too fast or dropped a knee during a cuddle.

He jerks, eyes wide.

“Did you just-oh my GOD.”

He topples over like a dying android.

You scramble to help but he waves you off while making tiny dying whale noises.

“Just give me a sec. Or like… 40 minutes.”

You bring him ice and apologetic forehead kisses. He stares up at the ceiling:

“I’ve been punched? shot and stabbed But nothing could prepare me for that.”

⸻

Damian Wayne

Utter betrayal. Like you dishonored his family.

It was mid-training. You did a spin kick. You weren’t supposed to connect. But you did.

Right in the Wayne heir-makers.

He drops with an expression of horror.

“Beloved… why?”

He’s clutching his pride, glaring like you just stabbed his sword collection.

“I thought we trusted each other…”

You rush to help him and he bats your hand away with his last ounce of pride.

“I shall recover alone.”

You find him later with an ice pack, muttering about “vengeance” and “emotional reparations.”

࿐content/warnings: smutty, age gap IMPLIED, angst, bit of mature era michael <3, emotional cheating kinda, reader is fem, lowkey dark michael

࿐wc: 1.3k

࿐A/N: been lazy and still writing my next imagine... it's a long one, so appreciate this short mature michael era headcannon :-))

fwb! michael who befriended you before he got married, making conversation on a mickey mouse shirt you were wearing 

fwb! michael who took a subtle and bold look at the way your shirt accentuated your breasts, biting his bottom lip 

fwb! michael who often thought of you when he was alone, running his hands down his stomach and to his underwear, groaning at the thought of how your delicate hands would feel on his cock 

fwb! michael who'd often feel guilty that he thought of you that way, as you were simply just friends

fwb! michael who felt guilty, still wanting to be your friend while he was married 

fwb! michael who once he got his divorce, instructed his driver to take him to your house and knocked on your door, tears streaming down his face

fwb! michael who appreciated that you opened your arms to him and his problems

fwb! michael who looked up as he wrapped his arms around you, smelling how sweet your neck smelled against his face

fwb! michael who ran his fingers across your lips, loving the way your natural lip shade matched so perfectly against your skin tone 

fwb! michael who closed his eyes, leaning in and kissing you fiercely

fwb! michael who undressed you desperately, letting out a whimper as he pounded into you mercilessly

fwb! michael who brought his large hand over your mouth, warning you to be quiet so you wouldn’t wake up your roommates 

fwb! michael who traced his fingers over your clit, rubbing it with passion, bringing you to your finish 

fwb! michael who woke up the next morning, sternly stating that it couldn’t happen anymore, pretending that his heart didn’t hurt when you agreed 

fwb! michael who got married again months later, breaking your heart as he happily announced his marriage in a public interview 

fwb! michael who called you a few weeks later, telling you that the marriage wasn’t actually romantic, but instead a partnership so he could get the kids he wanted 

fwb! michael who drove to your house that same weekend, kissing you passionately for an entire hour, fingering you in front of your mirror 

fwb! michael who didn’t stop fingering you until you passed out, pressing kisses against the side of your face as you woke up and begged for more 

fwb! michael who left a few days after, asking you to keep sleeping with him but respecting that he was married 

fwb! michael who still called you now and then, asking you how you’ve been 

fwb! michael who felt angry that you had a date and couldn’t call him the next day

fwb! michael who was waiting for you at home, placing you across your lap and spanking you till you apologized and cried, promising it wouldn’t happen again 

fwb! michael who woke up the next day and reminded you that even though you weren’t allowed to date, you were still just friends 

fwb! michael who kept up this routine for the timeline of his marriage, until he told you over coffee that he was divorcing his wife 

fwb! michael who blushed at the smirk on your face as you hummed, biting your lip 

fwb! michael who bent you over your kitchen table, whispering sweet nothings as you cried out for him to give you more 

fwb! michael who told you that you two could still only be friends, as he was a single father now and had to focus entirely on his children 

fwb! michael who was shocked that you showed up a few days later, bringing baked cookies for his children 

fwb! michael who looked at you with a hint of appreciation and love as you took turns reading to his kids 

fwb! michael who helped you as you dried the dishes, talking about your day 

fwb! michael who didn’t like how he felt as you walked out the door with no intentions of kissing him 

fwb! michael who called you the next day, asking why you didn’t sleep with him 

fwb! michael who was surprised that you initiated the idea of sleeping together while still being true friends 

fwb! michael who agreed and liked the idea of you being someone he could trust, while also still admiring your naked body and the unique way only you could make him finsih

fwb! michael who treated you like a friend in public, taking you to lunch and sharing his new music notes, yet fucking you like there was no tomorrow that same night 

fwb! michael who loved that you were always there, even after years of keeping you in the same cycle 

fwb! michael who took you as a date to an event one night, feeling jealousy lace into his blood as you spoke to his colleagues

fwb! michael who reminded you on the drive home who you really belonged to, leaving bite marks all over your exposed collarbone, feeling satisfied that you complied 

fwb! michael who celebrated your birthday some time after, not being sexual but instead a genuine friend, suprising you with a vacation with your closest friends 

fwb! michael who reminded you he didn’t expect anything in return, just your authentic and trustworthy friendship 

fwb! michael who felt his heart break as you came home and didn’t reach out to him for some weeks, until his kids asked for you 

fwb! michael who called you, expressing that he missed you and asked why you didn’t call him when you arrived home 

fwb! michael who heard your cries, telling him you couldn’t continue being friends with him because you had fallen in love 

fwb! michael who stayed silent, because he didn’t know what to say, and so you hung up, never calling back again 

fwb! michael who was angry at you, but more himself, for allowing himself to think he could ever think he could be a friend to you while having sex 

fwb! michael who requested that his people keep an eye on you, giving him any significant updates about your life 

fwb! michael who felt anger bubble into his blood as his spy had updated him with the fact that a guy was coming over to your house, almost every night

fwb! michael who looked into the guy, finding out that the two of you worked together and were trying out dating 

fwb! michael who was asked in an interview if he was romantically linked with anyone, and he said yes, and he said your name so delicately, you couldn’t help but fall to your knees, turning the TV off and sobbing 

fwb! michael who arrived at your house, pounding on your door and demanding to see you 

fwb! michael who sat outside your door for some time until you caved in, opening the door and asking him why he said what he said 

fwb! michael who said he didn’t know why, but that he didn’t regret it 

fwb! michael who made love to you against your bedsheets, sobbing into your arms as he apologized 

fwb! michael who begged for forgiveness, appreciating that you forgave him so quickly 

bf! michael who drove you to his place, introducing you to his kids as “daddy’s girlfriend” 

bf! michael who proposed a year later, expressing that he always did love you, he was just afraid it would turn into more, and then abruptly end 

fiancée! michael who stared at your ring as he fucked you gently, forcing you to look at him through the mirror, keeping your eyes open as he made love to you

nerdjo meeting nerd!reader for the first time (and falling in love!?)!

nerdjo who prides himself on always being the smartest one in his class. since the first grade, his teachers and peers have showered him in praise for being so intelligent. even his grumpy physics teacher from the eleventh grade constantly complimented his work, and everyone knows mr. yaga is a tough grader.

nerdjo who is now attending one of the most elite public colleges in the country and cannot wait to demonstrate his academic prowess to his professors. on the first day of the semester, he strolls into the lecture hall with his head held high, immediately taking a seat front and center of the room. he, of course, is there before anyone else.

nerdjo who makes it a point to raise his hand at every question, answering them with excessive detail just so he can hear the professor say, “spot on, satoru!” he’s not oblivious to the muffled scoffs and giggles of the other students behind him. he knows they’re judging him, but so what? they’re just jealous that he’s so dang smart!

nerdjo who turns in his first assignment a week later, excited to receive yet another perfect score with a lengthy comment commending his work next to it. he made sure to be extra thorough in showing the math behind his answers so the professor would have something to applaud when he hands him his assignment back—y'know, something other than his grade.

nerdjo who can practically feel his world falling apart when he gets his paper back and sees a 98%. “great work, satoru, you had one of the highest grades! keep it up,” his professor smiles, but there is nothing to smile about. a 98 means his work wasn’t perfect. for the first time ever, gojo satoru got something wrong.

nerdjo who, as he is dragging himself towards the door so he can go to his dorm and complain to frat!suguru, nearly drops his textbooks when he hears the professor say, “amazing, y/n. you’re the only one to receive a perfect score.”

nerdjo who spins his head so fast that he might’ve almost given himself whiplash. a perfect score? that can’t be right! he was ready to stomp right on over there, snatch that damn paper, and see how someone could have possibly gotten a higher grade than him until his eyes met yours. and fuck, his brain just stops functioning right then and there.

nerdjo who has never really been interested in girls before—but not because he doesn’t like girls! he just didn’t have the time for crushes. sure, there were plenty of pretty girls at his high school. in fact, he went out with some of them, but only if they had asked him. of course, none of the dates actually went anywhere in the end. satoru found all of them too shallow or, forgive him, stupid. he can’t imagine being with someone who can’t hold a conversation that isn’t about shopping or cheap gossip. so yeah, not having a girlfriend was fine with him! but that was before; now, the girl of his dreams, someone pretty and obviously smart and perfect, was standing several feet away from him, and he couldn’t let you go.

nerdjo who has been thinking about you 24/7 ever since. when you pass him by on campus or sit in his line of sight in your shared statistics course, he just . . . stares. it’s a little creepy, yes, but how could he not!? you were the prettiest girl he had ever laid his eyes on, with your hair always done in a cute style; your adorable glasses that may be a bit too big for you (you readjust them on an average of every 3 minutes and 47 seconds); and your simple outfits that still compliment your figure very nicely (he tries not to stare at that too much out of respect for you).

nerdjo who finally approaches you two months later after extensive encouragement from frat!suguru. he comes to class and, instead of beelining for his usual seat, climbs up another row to sit two seats over from you because sitting right next to you would probably make his heart explode. while the professor drones on about standard deviation, he takes not-so-subtle glances at you and your unfathomably neat notes. they’re color-coded, too? he might have to wife you up.

nerdjo, who gets so distracted by your mere presence, doesn’t even realize that you’re now looking at him. “excuse me?” you softly call for the third time, starting to get worried by how intensely he is staring. he isn’t even blinking! “hey, gojo?”

nerdjo who stammers out a rather loud “y-yes?” after you say his name because your voice seems to have that effect on him. the eye contact sets his cheeks ablaze with the heat of his embarrassment. code red, code red—he's been caught!

“do you have an eraser i could borrow? i’ve misplaced mine,” you giggle, amused by his awkwardness. he blinks owlishly for a few seconds before reaching for his eraser, nearly fumbling it as he extends it to you.

“yeah, of course—uhm, here!”

nerdjo who flinches when the tips of your fingers graze his as you take the eraser, whispering the sweetest “thank you” before erasing away at your paper like you didn’t just cause his nervous system to malfunction. for the rest of the class, he keeps his head low to hide the growing smile on his face.

nerdjo who packs his bag once the lecture is over and turns to you again just to see you’ve already left. he frowns—did he scare you off? he couldn’t have, because then he sees it. on the desk was his eraser, positioned over a blue sticky note he quickly recognized. you carry a stack of blue sticky notes in your pencil case.

nerdjo who hesitantly picks up the eraser and sticky note. Thanks for letting me use your eraser! ♡ and a phone number, your phone number, written in that familiar neat handwriting. “holy shit,” he breathes, his pulse thrumming in his ears so loudly he begins to feel dizzy. did he just get your number without asking for it?

nerdjo who has no idea that you’ve had your eye on him since the first day of the semester and have been asking your cousin, frat!suguru, how you should approach him. satoru would be pretty humiliated if he found out you knew about his little crush since the beginning, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?

muffin's margins! :: first headcannons post! i was really nervous to write this for whatever reason, but i think it turned out okay . . . (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I like to think he’s mainly like that cuz he likes to solely focus on what he’s doing, and alot of the others end up commenting or asking too many questions — this kinda feeds into my undiagnosed OCD/Autism HC for John — and it’s just annoying and overwhelming. But not Bob. Bob is allowed to stay.

John has declared Bob can stay because he is — as John puts it — “a respectful spectator”. Which started as Bob sitting in the common area near the kitchen doing whatever while John cooked, then slowly migrating over to the opposite side of the kitchen island. Then that evolved into Bob randomly saying little tidbits of how his day was and then it ended with Bob just coming in to yap about whatever while John cooks while replying ever so often but mostly just letting him talk.