#(full guide)

After my umpteenth playthrough I noticed that I did almost everything you could do in the game, playing mostly as a Femshep but as a Broshep also, I even forced myself to romance someone who wasn’t Garrus just for the sake of seeing how it played out.

So, after my “perfect run” with my canon Femshep, I wanted to do something I never did before: kill everyone.

If you’re a sadistic lunatic or, more likely, a masochist like myself: here’s the detailed guide on how to do it so you can see it and NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

INTRODUCTION TO PAIN AND LOSS

First of all, create you character.

I played as a Renegade Femshep [it seemed more appropriate than a Paragon] and unintentionally she came out as the exact opposite than my canon one.

Blonde instead of redhead, white armor instead of black, Vanguard instead of Adept, etc.

Maybe my subconscious was trying to distance himself somehow 🤣

I didn’t romance anyone throughout the trilogy, it seemed appropriate since you’re clearly a sociopath.

General rule: don’t speak with the crew unless forced to.

MASS EFFECT

You don’t have a lot of chances to kill squadmates in the first game beside Ashley/Kaidan and Wrex.

I decided to leave Kaidan behind to nuke the breeding facility on Virmire mostly because I have no big feelings for his character and because I strongly dislike Ashley [wait for it, you’ll understand later].

Keep Wrex alive, for now.

MASS EFFECT 2.

First of all, you have to recruit all your squadmates, with two exceptions:

GRUNT: Do not let him out of his tank.

LEGION: Give him to Cerberus.

I know, I know, it’s not the same without our Krogan baby and favorite Geth, but it’s necessary.

Basically you have to avoid doing the loyalty missions but, since you need at least two survivors to make it out from the Collectors’ base alive, I did it this way.

I made sure that Mordin, Samara and Tali were loyal [so don’t let Tali be exiled, and be sure to destroy Maelon’s data].

At the end of Samara’s loyalty mission, if you have enough Renegade points you’ll be able to chose between her and Morinth, I chose Morinth but it makes no difference and I’ll be covering both the options.

After recovering the Reaper IFF and the crew’s abduction make sure to do AT LEAST four missions [you can do the side quests that you find scanning planets] before going through the Omega4 Relay.

Both The Arrival and The Lair of the Shadow Broker are optional, it’s up to you to decide if you want to do them or not.

Project Overlord is mandatory, trust me 😉.

Do not upgrade the Normandy at all and start the Suicide Mission.

Since you didn’t upgrade, the first casualty will be Jack, killed by an oculus beam.

When you go fight the oculus in the cargo bay take Tali and Kasumi [the weakest characters] with you leaving Thane to die in the second attack.

Without the Thanix Cannon, Garrus will be killed when you fight with the Collector’s ship [this one was the hardest one for me].

Jacob will volunteer as a tech specialist to go through the vents, let him. He will die closing the doors.

Since it’s Jacob’s turn to die, it’s irrelevant who you put in charge of the second team.

Chose Samara/Morinth as a biotic specialist and take Mordin and Tali with you, leave Kasumi as a leader for the second team.

Since you took your sweet time before going through the Relay your crew will be dead and Chakwas will be the only survivor.

Let her go back to the Normandy alone and she will die.

The Asari is powerful enough to keep the biotic shield until the end and no one will be taken by the seekers swarm.

Kasumi will be shot by the Collectors in front of the door.

For the final fight take Miranda and Mordin with you, since she’s not loyal she will die.

Zaeed and Samara/Morinth are powerful enough to keep the team alive and you will make it out with four, carefully selected, team mates: Zaeed, Samara/Morinth, Tali and Mordin.

At this point you have a choice, destroy the base or give it to Cerberus.

[It’s easier to chose the first option.]

If you destroy it, you will be able to chose the Destroy ending with less than 1750 EMS, if you let TIM have it, you will only be able to chose Control.

Since we need the Destroy ending, you can either blow it up, or gather more than 1750 EMS but not more than 2049.

Keep an eye on that in the war room during ME3, it’s important.

MASS EFFECT 3

During the mission on Mars always chose the renegade option while talking to Ashley and after Mars DO NOT go see her, ever.  Ignore her messages, ignore her completely.

Do not recruit dr. Michelle on the Citadel.

Recruit Diana Allers for now.

On the Normandy, never speak to Cortez, never ever [you will understand why at the end].

I suggest to avoid talking with the crew altogether and to skip all the side quests unless specified.

Avoid the mission on Eden Prime and not recruit Javik.

Leave him with Cerberus [they will probably kill him trying to open the pod, since they don’t understand the Prothean files, unlike Shepard].

On Tuchanka, after saving the Turian platoon, avoid the bomb mission, leave it there [Primarch Victus will send you a message about it, ignore him] and don’t reveal the Shroud’s sabotage.

At the end of Priority: Tuchanka, try to stop Mordin from curing the Genophage and you will have to gun him down.

Since you didn’t save Maelon’s data, Eve will be dead.

During the Citadel coup you will meet Ashley again and, if you didn’t speak with her and made things right between you two, she still doesn’t trust you to be the real Shepard and not some Cerberus clone and will stand between you and that SOB of Udina.

Since Thane died during the Suicide Mission there’s no one there to stop Kai-Leng and Udina will show an edited footage of Shepard killing the Salarian Councilor strengthening Ashely’s resolve to not put her gun down.

Again, chose the Renegade options, ignore the Paragon interrupt and chose the Renegade one instead.

You will shoot her in the stomach and watch her die. [Yay!]

Right after the coup you’ll get a message on your terminal for the Vouls Ambassador’s quest on the Citadel [called Durlesh Mole].

During the quest Zaeed will die after the fight with the mercs since you didn’t do his loyalty mission back in ME2.

Go to the Perseus Veil and start the missions with the Quarians.

After the one in the Geth dreadnought do not save Admiral Koris, ignore his rescue mission and go directly to Priority: Rannoch.

Let the Geth VI [who is Legion’s “clone”] upload the Reapers code and watch the Migrant Fleet be destroyed.

Tali will commit suicide jumping off the cliff.

After Priority: Rannoch you can sleep with Diana Allers if you didn’t chose the renegade option ‘this interview is over’ with her.

Since we’re being mean and evil, sleep with her and then go to her room and tell her to get off your ship.

She will die somewhere during the war.

Go to the Citadel to speak with the Asari Councilor, she will give you the Priority: Thessia mission and when you’ll leave the Citadel you will run into Wrex at the Normandy dock.

He knows about your deal with the Dalatrass, he’s pissed off about the bomb and about you betraying him so, obviously, he will try to kill you.

Go for the Renegade options and you will shoot him down in a heartbreaking scene that left me ugly crying.

Now you can go save the ex-Cerberus scientists even if Jacob is dead for a single, simple reason: dr. Gavin Archer.

That fucker is hiding there too and when talking to him be sure to ask him about project Overlord and his brother. You will tell him about Rannoch and he will realize that he put David through hell for nothing and take is miserable life.

You can cheer now, this is the only good moment you will have.

If you chose Morinth back in ME2, you will receive a message at the beginning of the game where she lets you know that she left the Normandy after the Suicide Mission, you will find her on Earth in the form of a Banshee.

If you chose Samara instead, go to the the Ardat-Yakshi monastery and at the end of the mission let her kill herself to save Falere.

After that, kill her last daughter too because, why not?

At this point, you are left only with Liara, EDI and Vega as squad mates.

Do the Citadel DLC.

If you didn’t speak with anyone, Vega won’t come to your apartment to show you the N7 tattoo, no watching the game drinking beer with him and Cortez and no hanging out with Traynor [if you don’t speak with her she doesn’t play chess with you and doesn’t become your friend.]

You end up spending time only with Liara and EDI.

Throw the SADDEST CITADEL PARTY EVER.

The only guest being Liara, EDI, Joker, Traynor, Vega and Cortez.

Guys, that group photo is EMPTY.

Anyway, when exploring Sanctuary the warning messages will be made by Miranda’s sister Oriana who you won’t know since you didn’t do her loyalty mission.

You can save her with a Renegade action/interrupt, but you can let her die too, falling with her father from the tower. Your choice.

If you didn’t talk to Cortez and you didn’t help him go through the loss of his husband he will die after being shot down with the Kodiak on Earth.

Chose Liara and Vega for the final mission and they will die right before your eyes, burned alive by Harbinger’s beam.  This one is really hard to watch, there’s no Normandy taking them to safety, you just watch them disappear in a red flash. Damn. Go to the Citadel, talk with Anderson and TIM, if you ignore the Renegade answers/interrupts you won’t save Anderson from being executed by TIM leaving you alone to watch Earth while bleeding out.

Talk to the Catalyst and choose the Destroy ending with the lowest EMS possible [if you have less then 1750 it will be the only option given to you by that creepy kid].

Watch Earth and every soldier get vaporized, EDI will be ‘killed’ by the Crucible [but you won’t see it] and Joker dies on the Normandy while trying to escape from the blast.  You will see the Normandy crash site anyway but with no survivors.

DEATH SUMMARY

Kaidan: dead by nuke on Virmire [ME1]

Grunt: never got out of his tank [ME2]

Legion: death by Cerberus studies [ME2]

Jack: death by oculus beam [ME2]

Thane: death by explosion [ME2]

Garrus: crushed by a crossbeam [ME2]

Jacob: death by headshot [ME2]

Normandy’s Crew: processed by the Collectors [ME2]

Chakwas: killed by the Collectors [ME2]

Kasumi: death by gunshot [ME2]

Miranda: death by falling [ME2]

Javik: death by Cerberus [ME3]

Eve: death by stress [ME3]

Mordin: killed by Shepard [ME3]

Ashley: killed by Shepard [ME3]

Zaeed: killed by the mercs [ME3]

Tali: suicide [ME3]

Allers: war casualty [ME3]

Wrex: killed by Shepard [ME3]

Dr. Archer: suicide [ME3]

Samara: suicide [ME3]

Oriana: killed by her father [ME3]

Cortez: death by Kodiak crash [ME3]

Morinth: turned into a Banshee [ME3]

Liara: death by Reaper beam [ME3]

Vega: death by Reaper beam [ME3]

EDI: death by Crucible blast [ME3]

Joker: death by Normandy crash [ME3]

ALTERNATIVES

Grunt: if he survives the Suicide Mission and he’s not loyal he will die when you save the Rachni queen in ME3.

Legion: if he survives in ME2 he will die anyway on Rannoch in ME3.

Jack: if she makes it out alive in ME2 and you skip the Grissom Academy mission she will be taken by Cerberus and turned into a Phantom. You will run into her at the Cronos Station in ME3.

Thane: if he is alive in ME3, he will die after the Citadel Coup.

Kasumi: if she’s alive and not loyal she will die during the mission with Jondum Bau on the Citadel in ME3.

Miranda: if you want her dead in ME3, deny her every help when you talk to her, don’t tell her about Kai-Leng and he will kill her on Sanctuary.

Congratulations!

You’re now the worst possible Commander ever!