#;mga5interview2

"how do you feel after filming for this episode?"

well it's not really over, is it, considering he's still in this interview? that's not the point though; he knows. "tired," he admits, and he laughs. "i think my performance wore me out. it was way more adrenaline than i expected, and more...active? i didn't think i would be running all over the stage like that, and i've done similar for longer at empty enigma shows, but something about all of it together, and the preparation leading up to it, and watching everyone's performances was a lot. i know this is only the start though, so if i make it further, i'll have to do better."

"how do you think your performance went?"

"i had fun," he says first with a grin, and he wants to say that's what's most important, but in this competition, he knows better. it's important, nonetheless. beyond that...? "i know i'm lacking when it comes to rap. i'm lacking in a lot of things, and i knew i had to make up for that by doing something that showed off what i think i'm best at, and that's writing lyrics. i think i showed off a unique performance, and some people will like that, and some people won't..." his voice trails off. that's not even touching on the fact that his lyrics will probably be controversial. "i tried to have fun with it, even though i don't believe a lot of what i rapped. i felt like if i was going to rap, i needed to do it with confidence, otherwise i was better off not doing it at all. i think my breathing could've been better, and that my tone and...dynamics could be better? but i think i could've done worse, and i hope it was an engaging performance, at least. if it made people feel something, i think i did what i came here to do." a pause, and a troubled expression. "i just hope i didn't upset anyone too much?" but he ends up smiling. "i guess i have to deal wit the consequences if i want to write a rap like that, huh?"

"why did you choose rapping over singing?"

ah yes, that question. he should've seen it coming, and really, he did. maybe they overheard is comment to sungwoon when he was questioned the same last week. "i didn't think i could compete wit the singers," he says simply. "it's not that i thought i could really compete with the rappers either, but i thought with less of them, i might have a better chance. at the very least, i could show off a skill i haven't brought to the stage yet on the mgas, which was appealing. i got eliminated last year during the round where all we had to do was show our best skills, because it was clear how weak my singing was compared to the others. i've improved, but i know that could still happen again, and i...don't want it to. if i'm going to get eliminated this round, i want it to be differently, and to know i showed everything i could before i left." it's always a common theme: showing everything he can, because nothing is guaranteed.

"any thoughts on the performances?"

"the empty enigma members did well," he begins with a grin, and although he means it, he's pretty sure that's not why they're asking, and not what they want to hear. "i'll talk about someone else, i promise," he assures. "i liked yena's performance," he says. "i don't think she's the strongest singer, but she was still compelling regardless, and when i watched her, i thought 'i hope i can do that too.' it was inspiring in a way. "hyunggu's mashup performance was...interesting," and he laughs. "i'm not entirely sure how to feel about it, but i think he did a good job. he showed his versatility too, so i respect him for that." on the other hand, there were the more unfortunate performances, or one he can think of in particular. "i think joohyun's was the most painful to watch, if only because i know she's capable of better than that. i wanted her to show off her skills."

"you were grimacing watching joohyun before she even stumbled. why is that?"

this catches him off guard. he falls silent for a moment, and deliberates over how to answer. he could say something about not liking the performance, but he probably already ruined that opportunity for himself, even if he wanted to go down that route. his real options were to say something about how hard the routine looked, and claim to be worried for her-- not a lie, really --or to admit the truth, and leak something he wasn't sure joohyun wanted to risk being aired for all of south korea to see. in the end, he knows joohyun wouldn't want him to lie for him, and also knows this might not be aired. aside from that, tiger jk knows about her injury, which means the other judges likely do as well. "joohyun is injured, actually," he admits, voice quiet, eyes downcast, not settled on the camera. he still isn't sure if it's the right decision. "so i was worried for her while i was watching. i wanted her to make it through safely so badly, and i'm glad worse didn't happen but it's still...a shame."

"how are you feeling about the upcoming results?"