Kofi commissions open!

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

Wait, are you telling me you know the Destroyer of Kingdoms? The evil being we've spent years fighting? "Do I know him? That jerk owes me money."

A demon has cursed you with the inability to have children or form a family, and as soon as you learn of this you went to tell the witch who you promised your firstborn child, as this clearly will prevent you from fulfilling your side of the deal.

After accidentally summoning something not from this world, all you can think to ask is to breathe better. You’ve always had a breathing problem, and you want it gone. “Oh honey, That’s all?” she says, “you’re such a good soul, I can help with so much more. I’ll help, on the house, for you.”