♥︎ HEESEUNG 이희승 [LEE HEESEUNG] 🦌

⌦ [a] autumn hearbreaks. || pairing: ex boyfriend! heeseung x fem!reader ↳ synopsis: where the only person you could ever imagine loving, breaks your heart.

⌦ [f] heart eyes. || pairing: bestfriend! heeseung x fem!reader ↳ sypnosis: in where the both of you have nothing but love in your eyes whenever you looked at each other, and all flaws turn into perfection. but it took you both long enough, so heeseung decides to confess at the perfect time

♥︎ JAY 박종성 [PARK JONGSEONG] 🦅

⌦ [f] winter stargazing, with you. || pairing: boyfriend!jay x fem! reader ↳ sypnosis: late night stargazing with your boyfriend.

♥︎ JAKE 심재윤 [SIM JAEYUN] 🦮

⌦ [f] paper butterflies. || pairing: golden retriever boyfriend! jake x fem!reader ↳ sypnosis: where your boyfriend is adorably in love with you.

♥︎ SUNGHOON 박성훈 [PARK SUNGHOON] 🐧

⌦ [f] to the moon, never back. || pairing: boyfriend!sunghoon x fem!reader ↳ sypnosis: another night under the moonlight, with your one and only lover.

♥︎ SUNOO 김선우 [KIM SUNOO] 🦊

⌦ [f] love letters. || pairing: long time crush!sunoo x fem!reader ↳ sypnosis: you've liked sunoo for as long as you could remember. you wrote him love letters, bought him snacks almost everyday, all anonymously with no expectations of reciprocation. i mean, he receives pilling love notes everyday, what makes you any special? you weren't popular or the prettiest, or the smartest or anything. it would be shocking if the boy even remembers your name. but it all changes when you decided to write him a love letter you worked on, basically a recap of all the love notes, of all the paragraphs you wrote in your diaries through out the years that were about him. as you slid your love letter into his locker, he was right behind you.

♥︎ JUNGWON 양정원 [YANG JUNGWON] 🐏

⌦ [f] shoelaces. || pairing: class president!jungwon x fem!reader ↳ synopsis: turns out that your class president's feelings were mutual after all.

♥︎ NI-KI 西村力 (にしむら りき) [NISHIMURA RIKI] 🐥

⌦ [f] photobooths. || pairing: bestfriend!riki x fem!reader ↳ synopsis: riki was your one and only bestfriend, you basically went everywhere and did everything together ever since both of your parents met. it was going to be hard to not catch feelings when you spent almost every single hour of everyday with him, so you did. one accident at the amusement park where you two accidentally kissed caused a week of him ghosting you. scared of losing him if you happened to confess your feelings for the boy, you promised yourself not to. until one day when he decided to take you to the same amusement park after school. little did you know, it was where it all began for riki.

just do it y/n

you told yourself. you were standing there contemplating whether you should go with your "thought-out" plan, with the neatly folded written letter, inside your favorite envelope, carefully sealed with wilted baby breaths and your favorite stamp.

yes, it was a love letter

not just any love letter a high schooler could just sit for hours in their rooms and write oh so carefully as to not make any mistakes and embarrass themselves later on, this was a well thought-out letter that one’s been coming back and forth to write for weeks.

she listed all her favorite things about him, from the way his eyes squints and cheeks rise whenever he smiles that made him look like an actual peach, to his adorable bubbly personality that everyone likes and it never fails to make your heart flutter.

it took her too many little anonymous sticky notes complimenting him left and right on his outfit that day, or how much she loved about his little features, especially his eye smile. it took her too many snacks she’d buy for him just because she knows it’s from his favorite bakery, it took her years of liking him and doing all that just to express her feelings towards the boy, anonymously of course.

if there was one thing y/n avoided and was scared of most, and it was rejection.

why would someone like sunoo like her? so many other pretty girls liked him and they all had better chances than she did. plus he must receive love letters and little notes like that all the time.

the love letter in your hand was not any different, it was still anonymous. except you had decided to put your initial on it this time.

just do it just do it just do it

and just like that she swiftly slid her letter into his locker. the girl let out a deep breath she didnt even know she was holding.

she wondered if he ever reads the letters that he gets. at this point it was basically part of his routine to open his locker to at least a couple love letters a week.

while being distracted with her thoughts, she didn’t realize she was just standing there fiddling around nervously, she also didnt realize the presence behind her

“hi y/n” the sudden familiar voice made you flinch and snap out of your daydreams and oh my god your heart almost dropped to the floor. "what are you doing here?" he smiled at you as your eyes moved everywhere frantically as to not look at him in the eyes.

and oh my god what the actual fuck he knew your name.

"uh- oh- i was just waiting for a friend!" you lied.

"by my locker?" he lightly chuckled. "y-yeah! she said to wait in the hallway"

oh for goodness sake y/n why are you so bad at lying

your frantic state made him smile, he was pretty much just observing your body language, the way your feet balanced back and forth, how the tip of your nose started turning red, the way you were messing around with your fingers. he found it kind of cute

"w-well sunoo i better get going!" you nervously laughed, cursing your voice for breaking a bit.

"oh okay, see you around y/n" he said with his signature smile.

you swore your body took a screenshot.

just something about how he remembered your name, you guys took a couple classes with each other but out of everybody you didn't expect the kim sunoo to remember you name when the teachers still call you by literally every other name that is similar to yours but not your actual name.

"y-yeah!" and with that you hugged onto your books tightly and swiftly dashed through the hallway to somewhere that is not around sunoo.

gosh maybe i shouldn't have given him that letter im so so stupid!

sunoo watched you as you dashed away with tense shoulders and chuckled to himself.

he then turned back to his locker and unlocking it too take out the books he needed.

"oh?"

---

it's been a week since you had practically confessed to sunoo without even meaning to. you've been avoiding him like the plague, you cant bring yourself to even look at the boy's direction due to the embarrassment you felt every time you were in his proximity.

meanwhile sunoo has been trying to talk to you ever since the day after her got that letter.

he read it of course.

sunoo keeps everything, whether they're little sticky notes, love letters, or gifts. he likes treasuring them. and theres always a specific handwriting, specific stamp, and a specific initial that always caught his attention.

he'd be lying if he said he didn't read his letters every day hoping that the person wrote to him that day.

he loved how genuine and bubbly the letters were. how they wrote their a's and k's, he loved how the person's personality could be shown through the way they write. it felt like he was listening to a person.

the way the write aren't just love confessions, they're more of talking talking about how their own week went, specifically what the person's been liking about sunoo and they always happened to compliment what sunoo didn't feel so secure about.

their letters made him feel safe.

and now that he knew it was you, he couldn't be any more excited.

sunoo's always noticed you. he's always loved the way you worded things and your body language for the most random things. and he didn't fail to notice your patience for everything, how positive your outlook was for the world, how sweet you were to everyone.

he's not going to lie, he's confused. after such a long time of receiving letters from you, and finally he's noticed you, why were you avoiding him now?

the answer was that you were nervous, and of course, you hated rejection.

plus, sunoo could get anyone. someone pretty, smart, just you name it. he was way out of your league, why would he ever look your way?

so your solution? there's no solution, you planned to just avoid him.

"alright! don't forget your assignments from page 143 to 150 due next tuesday and enjoy your weekends, class dismissed!" he teacher said, relief could be heard in his tone.

you made your way out of the class with your books in hand, making your way to your locker. jesus christ weren't you glad it was finally the last day of school for the week. not that you had any plans for the weekends, you just wanted to sleep in. 5 long days of waking up to the most traumatizing alarms, you could use a couple days off it.

you placed all the necessary books in your bag and arranged your locker for the week. letting out a big sigh before shutting your locker door, only to get jump-scared by the only face you were hoping not to see around.

"hi" sunoo said with a faint smile, hand waving at you.

shit. where were you gonna hide now?

he was confused because your instant reaction was to open your locker back up to hide from him, making him chuckle. the casual ‘if i can’t see you you can’t see me’ logic, how much cuter could one person possibly get? he thought.

he slowly pushes the locker door out of the way in order to see your face. visible nervousness was displayed on your face, if there was anything you hated more than rejection it would be confrontation. how were you gonna get out of this?

“hi…” you said, waving at him a bit with your free hand.

“i got you a little something,” he handed you an apeach plushie and continued, “i’ve held onto this for a few days now since i couldn’t really talk to you properly” he said and gave you a look, hands folded against his chest.

“ahh… about that,” you tried to think of an excuse to get yourself out of this situation but really there weren’t any excuses.

he noticed and laughed to himself.

“do you have any plans this weekend?” he suddenly said, catching you off guard. you looked up at him and there was a glimpse of expectation in his eyes.

“oh, uh yeah i am” you said, your go to weekend plan was just to oversleep till noon anyway. “why?”

your heart was thumping like crazy, was he going to ask you out on a date??

“well, lets go grab coffee! and you know maybe hang out and get to know each other abit” he said. what the shit

you slowly nodded, “oh, sure”. you’ll be honest nothing has processed in your head yet.

“oookay, uhm, gimme your number so i can text you” he handed you his phone

THE kim sunoo is asking for your number.

you started tapping carefully as to not get your own number wrong, handing it back to him with a straight smile on your face after you were done. he was about to say something but a voice called out for his name. “oh y/n my friends are here, i’ll text you in abit!” he said

“oh okay” you said, awkwardly waving at him, “byebye”

he smiled sweetly and waved back turned to run to his friends.

what. just. happened.

---

taglist (open!) @sunwoahkim @chanshyuck @squiishymeow @maiverie @thicccdiccdaddy27

~~~

[7:20 AM]

saying that you were sleepy was an understatement, you’re exhausted.

it's a bad habit but you tend to either overwork yourself with an overwhelming amount of schoolwork and studying or you’d not study at all.

last night was one of those nights where you forgot about the time and ended up sleeping at 4AM.

you laid on the desk resting your eyes, slowly drifting back to sleep. that’s until a loud thud could be heard beside you, making you flinch.

“morning loser” a deep voice said. heeseung.

you quickly lifted your head back up to look up at your side, watching him sit down.

how does one look so good in an oversized shirt and messy hair? no idea.

“what made you decide to come to class today?” you said, in a sarcastic voice.

the boy barely makes appearances to class, it was kind of weird to see him arrive at class so early too.

“what a way to greet your best friend” he replied as he roughly ruffled your hair.

“yah!” you yelled, not in the mood to fuck around due to how tired you were.

he laughed, leaning back on his seat with his arms now folded and staring at you as you irritatedly fixed your hair.

you turned back to throw him a glare, that shit grin was still on his face. quite the opposite of how he made you feel at that moment.

"you look like a panda" he half whispered.

"i know" you muffled, turning back to your desk to lay down. letting out a sigh after closing your eyes.

heeseung digging through his bag could be heard

"i'll be right back"

"mhm"

he dashed out of class

~~~

"yah, wake up" a familiar voice said, not too far from your ear. you turned to the direction, only to be greeted by heeseung's face right next to yours.

your heart just did a backflip, his face was practically right next to yours, one little move, your noses would be touching.

honestly it wasn't the first time he made you feel that way, every single time he was around you, every time he spoke, every time he smiled or just did anything, your insides turn inverted, your blood starts to rush and the feeling of butterflies in your stomach grows.

he then smiled, looking at your clueless expression due to your distracting thoughts. you could stare at him all day, and oh how you loved his smile, you always have. he was panting a bit due to all the running he did. the way his bambi eyes squinted, the way he smiled, his soft lips, just everything about him you loved

sometimes you wonder how perfect a person can be, especially your best friend thats right in front of you. just like your favorite song that came to be your favorite because it reminded you of him, he's just like heaven's incarnate. whenever he was around, whenever he talks you felt safe and comfort.

he didn't find your staring weird because he was doing the same, the smile never left his face.

realizing how you were staring directly at him and how the tension grew between you two, in a tired voice, you muttered out "where did you go?"

he let out a breathy laugh, lifting his hand to boop your nose, and then back to smiling and staring at your sleepy state for a bit, he then sat back up to rummage through the plastic bag in his hand

"i got you breakfast because i know you skipped it" he brought out custard bread that he bought from your favorite bakery and placed it right in front of you. "and coffee, just how you like it"

he handed you your coffee cup, he also had one in for himself in front of him.

it has always been like this between you two, he always took care of you, ever since you fell scraped your knee back in kindergarten, when you both were only 5.

you remember him running to grab a bandaid from his little school bag, made you sit and took care of your little injury. ever since then it was always an instinct to take care of you whether it was necessary or not.

and it was also because it was his love language, his act of service.

he leaned forward resting his face on his palm, staring straight at you and sipping his coffee, in a way sarcastically smacked his lips rapidly, and took another sip.

"you look stupid" you said laughing a bit, finally sitting up to stretch yourself a bit.

he was still in the same position just staring at you.

"what"

"i'm waiting to make sure you eat"

"you make me feel like a kid that needs supervision at all times sometimes"

again, he laughed. and it made you feel good because he found it funny. you'd be lying if you said you didn't watch every stand-up comedy to learn to be funny specifically for him.

it didn't matter anyway because he always finds himself unconsciously smiling at everything you say.

"you kinda are, if you think about it" he said

"heeseung i will-

"eeaaattt" he said, with your custard bread he unpackaged without you realizing in his hand, shoving it in your mouth.

~~~

[5:30 PM]

"hey" the long awaited notification popped up. you had been hoping he had texted you today ever since you were on your way home.

"hi hee" you responded

"you wanna go for a walk around the park?"

"yeah sure"

"alright, i'll be at your house in 15"

you shut your phone and smiled to yourself, rushing to get a thick coat and a beanie to go downstairs to wait for him.

you picked out your shoe and waited by the door, fixing your hair a bit.

the doorbell rang soon after. his house was close so it was a short walk.

you opened the door and there he was. the cold weather made the tip of his nose red, and his breathes were kind of foggy. his hair looks effortless, like he did nothing to it except brushing it and ran out the house. he had a scarf on, covering his face a bit.

again, butterflies.

"ready to go?"

"yup"

~~~

[7:25 PM]

if there was anything heeseung loved to do the most with you, it would be hanging out in peaceful and quiet places. because that way, you two talk alot.

heeseung loved listening to you talk, because it always meant you were opening up to him and telling him feelings you've bottled up. it made him feel at in a way special and at ease knowing that you find it hard to open up to people, and here you are, talking to him.

"seriously, things are sorta getting better for me. or maybe it's just that i've gotten used to all of this." you said, looking down at the dimly lit path, staring at both your shadows and smiling to yourself a bit, realizing how bad that kind of sounded.

"y/n, if anything you're the most hard-working person i know, and i'm not stopping you from doing your thing but sometimes i just think it's too much for you. your mental health matters too you know?" he said in a reassuring way, turning to you.

you hummed in response and looked back at him.

"you matter too." he sighed and softly smiled, "we're young, you know. we got a long way ahead of us and plenty of time. don't waste your youth on just overworking yourself, you'll regret it."

in deep thoughts to what he just said, you stared ahead once again.

the moon was so clear tonight. you had always loved night walks at the park. something about the quiet atmosphere, the street lights lighting up the path, the crickets and the big trees. it's always so calming and it always felt like, to you, the few good things in your life.

little did you know, one of those few things was staring at you, but too you were too distracted in your thoughts to realize. it was one of the few things he kind of loved about you because of how unconsciously mesmerizing you looked, smiling to yourself from time to time, but also something he kind of wished you did less of.

both good things like something that makes you feel all warm inside, bad things like overthinking or stressing, or bottling up your feelings. you have too much thoughts to think about in that little pretty head of yours, he thinks to himself.

"what do you think i should be doing during my youth, hee?" you suddenly asked. something about how you said it was soft, sad yet with a sense of hopefulness.

"so many things, doll." your blood rushed at the sudden nickname. "like?" he smiled at you, "adopting a cat and naming it after me like you always said," you giggled. "or visiting different places you've always wanted to, with friends?" i barely have any friends, hee" you both laughed.

you were terrible at socializing and it's not that he didn't know. he tries to help you with it too. like telling you beforehand what to say and how to talk to the cashier before entering a café, a bookstore, or with greeting people. he was always there for you to grab onto when you're feeling shy or awkward around people. "you get my point, just go have fun. don't be so harsh on yourself."

it was pure silence after that. not the unbearable and awkward kind of silence, it was a comforting silence, all thoughts.

a love life? although you had eyes for a person, you didn't think you could afford love at the moment. and it was kind of hard to imagine anyone ever liking you.

all you saw in yourself were flaws that you've constantly been working on to fix.

with always working being your habit ever since young, it was hard for you to think of doing anything else during your free time other than working or making yourself feel useful and busy.

you could think of one thing actually,

"the moon's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked, stopping in his path and distracting your thoughts once again, not that you complained because he was the thought.

you looked up at the boy. if anyone else looked at how you were looking at him right now, they would all say you got hearts for eyes.

he was the prettiest boy you had ever laid eyes on. and every single flaw he had, to you, it only made you fall for him even more. you loved his eyes and how much it reminded you of bambi, you loved his tall nose and the way it scrunches up every time he laughs, you loved his soft lips.

"yeah, it is" you responded, your eyes unknowingly stays on his lips. feeling your stare, he looked at you and his smile turned into a grin.

"d'you wanna kiss me?" he said in a teasing matter, leaning down to reach your eye level, a few inches from your face.

you froze for a bit, "i- no no! that's not what i meant" awkwardly laughing.

your heart rate increased so fast it felt like you were having a heart attack. your blood rushed up to the tip of your nose and cheeks and it wasn't helping that he was staring right at you with that smile of his when you were doing everything in your power to avoid his eyes.

he found your flustered state adorable. with the wind blowing on your hair lightly, your cheeks all rosy and your eyes moving all frantically he felt like he was going to lose it.

he smiled widely, bringing his hand up to your head, patting it softly. "you know y/n," he said as he straightened up and slowly walked closer towards you, "you don't realize how much of an impact you have on me."

he paused for a bit, thinking of all those words he had been dying to tell you, gathering them all up and picking out the best ones because if he was to say everything he loved and thought about you, you both would have to stand there until the moon sets and the sun rises again.

"and you should know that if there's anyone in this world that deserves to be loved and to be cared for most, it would be you." he continued, "i admire you for everything you do, and nothing could ever change my mind."

"i like you a lot, y/n." he said as his hands moved up to caress your cheek. "too much even."

"like, like like?"

"yeah, like like like." he said, with that soft smile of his that made you feel like your heart was melting like an ice cream under the hot sun.

"but why?"

he laughs, "should i not?"

"i mean if you want to,"

then and there he leans down and presses his lips against yours, moving it slowly, passionately. not a care in this world, like nothing else mattered except the person right in front of him.

it was your first kiss, and it felt like you were floating on clouds.

he slowly pulled away, noses still touching while staring into your eyes with nothing but love in his.

"if that still doesn't answer your question, yes. i do want to, with all my heart." he whispers, "and i'm afraid i won't be able to stop doing so even if i tried to."

he kissed your forehead, making you smile. "i like you too, hee." you said, resting your head on his chest, trying to hide your face from him muttering out the words your thought you'd never say out loud as he pulled you closer into his embrace, resting his head on yours.

he softly chucked at your action and caressed your hair. "i thought you would've figured out by now that i've always liked you since we were kids, hee. i hate that you always make me flustered too."

again, he laughed. "you did?"

"of course i did, did you?"

"i always have, sweetheart."

in fact, he ever only had those eyes, as they would say, heart eyes, for you and only you and no one else.

---

i made a playlist! check it out (pls)

~~~

[01:24 AM]

you both have always loved stargazing, laying on the grass, looking up into the skies filled with bright planets, millions of stars above your heads, sometimes even spotting shooting stars.

nights like these are when you both would just lay there, late at night looking up at the stars in the comfort of each other's arms in your backyard, just talking and laughing about the most random things.

stargazing was a thing between you two even before you had started dating. his confession, your first kiss, your most emotional, memorable moments with him, all under the stars.

winter came by, and so did the snow and cold atmosphere. clearing the skies making it easier to spot the stars.

here you were, laying on the snow with all the thick clothing he insisted you guys wear before leaving the house, making sure you wore thick wool socks, made sure to pack your heat packs and fluffy earmuffs and hot rose tea, secured in metal bottles because he knew that it was your favorite.

since he felt like you would get a better view at the park, plus, winter was both you and jay's favorite weather. so you made your way out in the middle of the night.

you were glad that he prepared everything so throughly because laying on the snow in the middle of winter couldn't be any more comfortable.

you both were quiet, laying on his arm staring into the skies. you could get lost just looking up, the sky was so big it made you feel so open and free, anywhere you looked were stars appearing and disappearing again. it felt like forever.

you looked up to look at your boyfriend. he looked mesmerizing under the moonlight. thats what you loved about winter, the cold air, the thick clothing, the snow, the cafe dates, late night stargazing, and him.

feeling your gaze, he looked down at you. "what's wrong?" he asked smiling, staring back at you. "nothing" you replied. "then what are you doing?" "im stargazing"

he laughed, leaning in to place a soft peck on your forehead. "no you're not, the stars are up there, baby"

you gave him a soft smile, his eyes felt like forever, it felt even bigger than the sky you were under, his eyes were glimmering with love. his scent, his presence and everything about him gave you comfort that no one else in this universe could provide you with.

he realized what you were doing. you did this often, which was getting lost in your daydreams, thoughts. he hadn't grown used to you just staring at him and overall just admiring him and his features, it always made him shy. but he stared back, with the same smile that never left his face.

you both didn't realize how close your faces were unconsciously inching towards each other until your noses touched. which made him smile, sending wrinkles to his eyes which you loved so much about him. you loved everything about him.

he then closed the gap between your lips, sending the both of you into a passionate, slow kiss.

it felt perfect, it felt surreal.

running out of breath, you lightly hit his chest and detached your lips from his. he watched you quickly sit up as an idea popped up in your head.

you then stood up, pulling him by his arm for him to do the same. "come on let's build a snowman!" you said, making him laugh. to him, you were cute, you always were with anything you were doing. in his eyes, you were perfect.

you pulled his arm and began running to a good spot.

you two were just building tiny snowmen and laughing at how you were miserably failing at balancing them, and of course naming them one by one.

after a while, you decided that you were done building your snowmen and decided to do something else.

jay then felt something being thrown on his back. looking back, he saw you cheekily laughing at him

knowing exactly what his reaction would be, you began slowly walking back while laughing.

he chuckled, "alright, you asked for it!" he stood up and began running towards you.

you began waddling away. because of the thick snow, it made it hard to run any faster. it didnt take jay long to catch up to you, he lifted you up from the back and spun you around. "put me down!"

--

time was lost as you two were running around throwing snowballs at each other. it was going to soon approach sunrise in three hours yet it didnt bother you both.

it felt as if there was not a care in this world and the only thing that mattered was each other.

winter stargazing, building snowmen, snowball fights and kissing under the stars. it's always nights like this that made your core memories. and this was surely going to be one of your favorite memories.

winter stargazing, with him.

~~

[11:50 PM]

his chest rises and falls, the sound of his heartbeat was calming, peaceful. he soothed his fingers through your hair as he hummed along to your favorite song. his other hand in yours, you fiddled with it, admiring his pretty hand.

it was quiet, but no words were needed to be said because at that moment, the only thing that was needed was the presence of each other.

with the sound of his hums, breaths, heartbeats and his fingers calmly running through your hair, it slowly lulled you to sleep. eyes becoming heavy as every minute passed by.

looking at your figure, he saw that you were asleep and smiled to himself. unaware that you were only lightly asleep, he kissed your head. the sudden action woke you up.

moving your head to look up at him confused, he then let out a little laugh, pausing from soothing your hair and rested his hand on top of your head. "im sorry, i didn't mean to wake you up" he said smiling, almost whispering, looking down at you, placing another kiss softly on your forehead.

you smiled in response, eyes still droopy.

the only source of light into the room was from your window. the moonlight reflecting on his face, he looks so unreal. his glowing eyes, tall nose, his perfect lips. everything about him drove you crazy.

you laid on his chest, staring up at him for a while. admiring his perfect features and anatomy, you could look at him all night and day. how did you get such a pretty boy for a boyfriend?

staring right back at you, he thought your sleepy face was the cutest thing he's ever seen, smiling to himself.

"baby?" he said, distracting your thoughts "you okay?"

"yeah"

"you sure? you look like you zoned out on me" he said chuckling.

"i wasn't zoned out, you're just... really pretty" you said, looking away from his face, trying to prevent him from seeing your flustered cheeks after confessing.

he laughed, looking at you in your embarrassed state. he didn't think he could possibly find you anymore cuter.

his hand lifted from holding yours and cupped your face, lifting it to make you look up at him as he caressed it gently. right then and there, he paused. admiring your features. he then kissed your forehead again, and then your eyebrow, your eyelids, the tip of your nose, your rosy cheeks, and then your lips.

you giggled at the tickling sensation. "how did i get such an adorable girl for a girlfriend, hm?" he giggled along.

"i love you." you said underneath your breath, his face slowly rested from smiling so hard to admiring you. "so much"

"i love you more" he replied

"i love you to the moon and back" you said inching closer to his face with a cheeky facial expression when he then also leaned in and kissed you.

this time it wasn't just a peck, it was passionate, slow, it felt heavenly even.

the kiss lasted a while before he pulled away. "i love you," he said, stroking your hair gently, looking at you with his eyes that seemed to be glowing, holding millions of stars behind them, just because he was looking at you. he continued, "to the moon, never back."

you laughed, "what does that even mean?"

"to the moon and back is too short of a distance to reciprocate how much i love you. i love you so much, to no ends."

you smiled, feeling emotional but not wanting to cry because you'd only end up with swollen eyes by the time the sun rises, he realizes and chuckles underneath his breath, moving his body to face you, hugging you even closer as if you two weren't already close enough.

"lets get to sleep, hm?" he whispered while patting your back.

oh how much you love this boy. you could literally bring him the moon if he asked you to.

~~~

~~

[6:55 PM]

it was starting to get dark, you were walking with a bunny plushie in hand that riki got for you at the balloon popping stall, and with riki walking right beside you of course. looking around to see whatever interested you both next.

for riki, he was just in his own world, going wherever you led him.

what was he thinking of? the moment you decided to name that bunny after him as soon as you had it in your hands with no hesitation, and that caught him off guard for a bit. now you're just going to have a bunny in your room named riki.

and of course, back at the cotton candy stall, when the lady called you both lovebirds, it made him feel a certain way.

that same feeling he gets every time you called him cute. or whenever you fixed his hair for him, whenever you brought him banana milk randomly, whenever you feed him random things, whenever he did something wrong on purpose just so you can do it for him instead.

that same feeling he always gets when he's around you.

his act of service, his constant teasing, his little gifts, his little notes he'd usually write you whenever he was bored in class, a lot of them contained with drawings of bunnies and funny looking strawberries cause he knew they were your favorite things, or just notes telling you that he liked your outfit that day.

the way he takes you places whenever he knew you were stressed or when you needed it, when he appears at your doorsteps whenever you texted him telling him that you weren't feeling your best, when he tries to compliment and make you feel better when you're down although he's bad it it, thats his love language.

yours was physical touch, like when you'd play with his hair, which he loved, when you'd drag him around by his hand or when you hug him when you're feeling down just for comfort.

your clinginess, like when you unconsciously hold his hand when you're in public places, when he's playing games with controller in hand but you're bored so you'd always end up laying on his lap, watching the screen although you don't understand anything that's going on, but since it's riki playing it, you're interested

your patience for him. he'd make mistakes and instead of getting annoyed over it, you'd calmly tell him to try again and would help him with it. whether with homework, cooking or anything you both decided to do together. or when he's feeling down and stressed, your arms and ears are always open for him. you're always there to listen and hug him whenever he needed.

your constant scolding whenever he purposefully did something wrong so that you'd do it for him instead, he'd enjoy it whenever you were mad at him just because he thought that its cute.

he loved everything about it.

he knew how you liked your coffee, what you wanted your pancakes with and how many you'd usually eat, your favorite colors. he knew when you'd get nervous just by how you fiddle with his hands, how you loved it when he'd comfort you by giving back rubs, hand rubs or head pats. just like you did for him. he knew every single tiny detail.

you don't know how much of an impact you took upon this boy, and he wasn't against any of it either as he loved every second of it.

whatever the other did, you both have no hesitations to give it a try too.

this was alot of emotions for a boy to keep to himself. it was the first time he felt like he wanted someone to know how much he liked them. which was why this whole date-like after school amusement park thing was a good idea. he was going to tell a girl that he liked her on her favorite ride in an amusement park, where it all started. he planned it all out 2 weeks prior.

why did it take two weeks when this whole idea popped into is little head in the span of 10 minutes? it's because he's nervous, he's never confessed to anyone, ever. and like the perfectionist that he is, he wanted everything to go as planned.

"riki look! a photo booth!" you pointed.

"y/n, no more pictures" riki replied, dragging his feet.

"i just want some pictures i can put in my phone case. its so blank right now, see?" you said, extending your arms and showing the back of your phone case directly at his face.

and with that he was already convinced, to miss the chance to get his face inside that clear phone case of yours? anything.

"didn't you just have a picture of that one k-pop idol you were obsessing over for weeks?" riki said smiling a bit, looking down at you.

"well yes, but i've looked at that same photo card too much it got kinda boring."

he remembered vividly how you were squealing at him over it about a week ago.

"alright, fine" he said in a stern tone, but was jumping around inside "but it has to be in there for at least 5 months".

"okay okay fine! let's take four sheets worth so we both got two sheets each okay?"

"alright."

and there he finds himself taking pictures with with you and riki the bunny in your arms. and that character hat he came to like because every once in a while you'd turn back to tell him that it looked cute on him.

riki being riki, he was awkward.

"smile a a bit won't you, nishimura?" you poked him, placing your chin on his shoulder staring right at him. he looked back down at you. gosh if he had to count how many times him heart rate accelerated today just because of one person.

snap

"alright just get your chin off me it hurts" he giggled and grabs you by your face to lift your head up

snap

"yah!" you tried grabbing his whole face too but it was more of a struggle with his hands blocking you view. at that point you both have forgotten you were taking pictures.

--

[7:15 PM]

you brought out your phone and popped off your phone case to settle the pictures in the right spot.

he really made to that phone case of yours, he thought.

popping it back on, you lifted your phone and started taking pictures of the view.

"y/n"

"hm?" you looked up, he was taking photos of the both of you.

"i'm sending these to my mom, she just texted me"

"send me them too"

after he was done, you handed your phone to him. "could you take a couple for me?"

he smiled, knowing what to do.

the lighting on your face was just perfect. and you couldn't look even more adorable with that bunny on your lap.

he started clicking, but of course, he couldn't miss this chance.

"here you go" he handed you back your phone

"riki these are all you!" you said swiping through them rapidly. he really just spammed the button didn't he

he laughed, "alright alright, i'll take you some" you handed it back but he brought out his instead

"no no, i feel like the lighting on my phone looks better, i'll airdrop them after"

smooth.

-

"i miss the feeling of being on ferris wheels" you said.

you knew damn well the last time you were on one was with him and it didn't end well.

"me too" he replied with a smile, looking back out to see the view.

nervously thinking of the right time to say the three words that he's practiced in front of the mirror in his bedroom countless times making sure he won't mess it up just for today.

the atmosphere was a lot different from when you both were last here, more lights, more lively, more stalls.

"riki?"

"y/n" he replied. you froze, not being able to mutter out your words. chanting in your head that it's now or never and that you can't keep chickening out when the timing is perfect. but nothing seemed to come out of you mouth.

three words, eight letters was all it took and yet it was so hard to say. being too scared of rejection, too scared of the outcome. you can't handle the thought of him ghosting you again. god knows whether or not he's going to ghost you or just cut you off for good.

it was just silence. you two were just looking in different directions, staring out of the ferris wheel.

again, you failed to say how you felt towards the boy. again, you tried changing the topic.

"people look like ants from up her-

"i like you, y/n"

"what?"

"i like you" he said, with no hesitation looking straight at you now but you were too nervous to look into his eyes right now. what the fuck.

"i do too riki"

"i don't mean it in a friendly way y/n." you paused to look at the boy, he continued, "i mean in way that means you make me feel things whenever i'm around you. i like you a lot, y/n"

"i like you too, riki."

your heart was thumping in your chest it felt like it was going to burst. you weren't on a roller coaster, it was just a ferris wheel but yet the excitement was incomparable. he confessed before you did.

thats when you realized that those pictures you took from the photo booth were also in his phone case.

riki was never the type to say or do these things, which took you by surprise. he just said he liked you.

like, like like you.

it was minutes of just looking around after that. to riki, this was new, never once in his life has he confessed and god if he was along right now he would be jumping around because he did it, and he didn't fuck it up.

"so, you wanna grab coffee tomorrow morning?" he said looking out

"yup"

"8?"

"yup"

he smiled looking down

the awkwardness was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

what mattered at that moment though, was that it happened, you confessed. or he did. after years, it finally happened and you didn't get rejected, which is a big relief. it wasn't all that bad after all.

character hats, cotton candy stalls, bunny plushies, photobooths and ferris wheels. three words, eight letters. it all worked out.

~~

previous

it was like any other school day, you felt dead walking along the hallways as people were chatting, making their way to their next class or at their lockers.

"morning baby" a familiar voice said from behind, followed by an arm snaking around your waist from behind. you looked up to your side to find your one and only boyfriend with his little puppy smile.

you smiled, he then gave you a kiss on your upper temple. "rough night? did you stay up late again?" he said, rubbing his thumb where his hand was placed on your side, pulling you closer as if you weren't already pressed against his body.

"no bub, just tired"

he was well aware that you have been overworking although he's told you not to. its the last year of highschool and you're more stressed out then ever. and it's not just school. of course it's draining, even for him. but he knows its not just that. you haven't been feeling your best with everything else as well.

he sighed, moving his hand away from your waist to rub your head. "don't overwork yourself baby" he then rest his head on yours as you both made your way to your first period. "mhm"

--

it was during your last period. you had your head rest on your palm, looking up at the board.

school's been hard on you, and with everything else going on in your life it was hard to concentrate at school. making it a habit to catch up late at night because of your insomnia. leading to sleepless nights.

ever since you told him about your insomnia, jake would text you late at night to make sure you were asleep. and if you weren't, he would facetime you so you had some company.

but other nights, you feel stressed out and when you begin to overthink and unable to go to sleep, you'd decide to study to distract yourself. which would usually go on past midnight. during these times, you wouldn't face time jake although he insists, because he needs sleep and you really don't want to bother him.

you zoned out, but came back to focus when a hand slid a folded piece of paper in front of you. it was jake of course, he was your seat mate.

you took the piece of paper and gently unfolded it. you smiled immediately.

"wanna come over to my place after school? mum's making ur favorite today because i asked her to. and layla misses u :( "

when he mentions layla? and his mom cooking? you couldn't say no.

you looked over to him to give him a nod, he smiled and made half a heart with his fingers, just enough for you to see it, but below the desk. how cute.

"focus" you whispered, he then made a sad face at you, you held his hand that was making the heart to put it on your lap as you went back to focusing on what the teacher was saying, having to let go when you realized you had to take notes.

not even 5 minutes later you heard a whisper. "baby look, i made you something" you were ready to give him a little scolding for not focusing but he then handed you a paper butterfly, making you smile widely, admiring it.

you looked over to him to see what he was doing, only to make eye contact because he had been looking at you the entire time. "how'd you make this?" you looked at him laughing a little bit. putting your hand out for him to give it to you.

"i maybe learnt it from my mom, specifically to make one for you" he said shyly, but at the same time proud with his little puppy smile.

ughhhhhh what is he so cute for

normally, whenever he got bored in class, he'd fold little paper hearts and slide it over to you, or write small notes, which you treasure and you've put every single one he gave you in a box. every time, it would make you happier no matter how you were feeling. but this time it was a whole butterfly he made from his notebook paper.

he spent the effort to learn small cute things to do for you and it's literally the cutest thing ever.

"does it look okay? that one's my forth attempt" he said, making you laugh. "oh it's more than okay, jake, it's perfect." you replied. "and i would pester you with kisses right now, but we're in the middle of a class"

"aw bummer, i should've given it to you after class then"

"no worries, you can get them after class"

"i should make you these way more than i planned to if this is my reward, might as well make another one right now" he said teasingly leaning a bit closer to you, making you embarrassed.

"oh you shut up."

"i love you too" he said giggling, knowing that it made you feel a lot better.

gosh you can't explain how much you love this boy. he treats you so well, making sure you feel okay and always trying to make you smile every time you're not alright, he's always there to accompany you and his ears and arms are always open whenever you need it. he's there to comfort you by hugging and giving you little kisses.

he may give you paper butterflies made from notebook papers in real life to show his random affection towards you, which is literally the most adorable thing ever, nothing can ever compare to the butterflies he gives you on the inside every time you're around him.

~~

~~

[7:05 AM]

it was already 7 in the morning, it felt as if you only got a few hours of sleep. which you did due to staying up late completing your piling assignments.

it felt as if you took a 2 second blink and its already the ass crack of dawn.

groaning, you dragged your feet out of bed, making your way to the bathroom. before you could even pick up your toothbrush, your phone started ring

again, you sighed but went to check who was calling this early and of course, it had to be riki.

“what is it nishimura” you said in a tired tone, not really in the mood due to your lack of sleep. “geez, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today” you could literally hear the grin on his face right now.

“get to the point, i need to go brush my teeth”

“alright alright” he said laughing a little bit “i’ll be picking you up today”

“why so sudden?”

“why do i need an excuse to see my bestfriend, hm?”

“okay fine”

“by 8?”

“sure”

“alright you can continue brushing your teeth now, i will not disturb you anymore”

“you better”

“okay, bye” he said smiling, and then hung up.

__

[7:56 AM]

“bye mom!”

“bye sweetheart! tell him to drive safe!”

“i will!” you said walking out the door.

if there were anyone your parents trusted you most with, it would be the nishimuras. they only met two years ago but yours and riki's mom are the best of friends. riki, whenever it came to going out, traveling or taking care of himself, he was good at it. which was why it didn't take your mom a second thought as soon as you mentioned his name

as soon as you closed your front door, car honks could be heard. looking up to meet riki sitting in his car with that signature cheeky grin of his.

__

[3:30 PM]

it was halfway through last period, surprisingly, you got through it just fine despite the mentioned sleep deprivation mentioned earlier thanks to the coffee riki got you before picking you up this morning.

"psstt" you heard from behind. "give me your book"

"riki you're gonna get us in trouble" you mumbled. forth period math with mr. huang was hell, and hes very much well known in this school for how strict and straight forward he is. so being the typical good student you were, you'd want anything but to be involved in trouble with mr. huang.

"just give me your notebook y/n"

and so you did in order for him to shut up without questioning him because you assumed he had missing notes to note down. but not even a second after handing your book, he handed it back.

"first page" he whispered, and continued to listen to what mr.huang was explaining.

you flipped your book open to see a folded piece of notebook paper.

"amusement park after class? :)" it said, with two boxes with the options yes and no.

normally if it was a school day the next day, you'd tick no, which of course riki was well aware of, but it happened to be a friday today. instead of ticking it, you wrote something back below it.

"i'll need to ask my mom first" you scribbled, handing it back without turning.

the sound of his pencil scribbling could be heard, and then a tap on your shoulder

"dont worry, i asked your mom this morning already" he wrote.

you unconsciously turned back to give him a look. only to meet that darn smile of his he always had plastered on his face.

"ms. y/n? are you listening?"

"yes sir"

mr. huang gave a warning look, one that says "i know you weren't but i'll let you off the hook just this once". thank god

with that, you unfolded the piece of paper in your hand and ticked the box

--

[4:10 PM]

"when did you even call my mom?" you said, getting into the passenger's seat.

"i called her this morning after i called you"

"and she agreed?"

"yup, didn't she tell you?" he then reached out to your side, to get your seatbelt strapped on for you. why did he do this? no idea. but it's always been a habit of his to make sure you're settled before setting off. normally, you'd feel fine about it. it makes you grateful even, knowing that he cared. but this time, his face was close. making you hold your breath.

you never knew that your bestfriend was this good looking. of course you knew that, but it didn't usually make you feel the way you did at that moment. you waited for him to be done and return back to his seat.

"nope"

~~

[7:10 AM] ~ this morning

as your mom was preparing everybody's breakfast, her phone by the kitchen island rang, with the contact name "Riki" calling.

"hey darling, you wanna pick y/n up today?" she answered, laughing a bit because it was pretty much predictable. every time he called was about you.

with a little laugh in return, he answered shyly, "yes"

"alright, drive safe riki" she said as she was about to hang up.

"oh and mrs. park?"

"yes dear?"

"would it be okay if i take her to the amusement park after school? its a friday today," he sounded prepared to read a whole list as to why she should let him take you.

"of course riki, not a problem." she said with a huge smile plastered on her face, "she needs a little break after all, all she's been doing lately is staying in her room and studying. im sure you're aware of that."

"yes, thank you mrs. park. i'll make sure to have her home by 8"

it was hard to trust people with her one and only baby daughter with anyone taking her places unless it was your dad, jay or herself, anyone outside of the family in general. but with riki, she never worried once because she knew you'd return safe with him.

everybody knew he cared most when it came to you, it made her feel nothing but warmth with you around him.

"riki?"

"yes mrs. park?"

"thank you. you know, for taking care of y/n."

"it's alright mrs. park, im just doing what im supposed to. besides, enjoy her presence around me anyway" he said smiling looking down.

your mom laughed. "alright then dear, drive safe"

~~

[ 5:02 PM]

after a stop at a cafe to get you both something to eat, you finally arrived. here you were, stood by the entrance of the amusement park.

your eyes sparkled, you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited. after months of just pure studying, a little break would be nice. and riki knew that. he thought to himself that you needed this for the sake of your sanity and mental health, and so he planned the whole of today to be revolved around you just having fun.

he smiled to himself, admiring you. happy that you even agreed to this without bringing up assignments due. even if you did, he would've dragged you here anyway because he knew you needed this.

his thought was disturbed when he felt a grasp on his hand "come on we can't just stand here all day, nishimura" before he could respond, he was already being dragged to places.

--

[5:40 PM]

"come on, riki!" you said, trying to convince him to put on the character hat you had in your hands, matched to the one you had on yours. "no" he said, trying to get away from your figure with not so much effort thanks the height difference.

the way you were struggling on your tippy toes trying to reach his head made him giggle, finding it cute.

although he seemed like he was annoyed, he was secretly enjoying this. "gosh darn those vitamins" you said under your breath, which he heard, making him laugh.

"what are you laughing at?" you said now with your hands on your waist, looking at him with an offended look.

"nothing" he said grinning.

"just put it onnnn, it'll look cute on you" with that, he's already almost convinced to put it on.

"it'll only make me look like a fool" he said, moving his head upwards again so that you wont be able to reach

"come onn, put it on at least just for a couple of pictures?" you said swaying his arm a bit.

"fine, but you'll have to pay for my cotton candy" the boy's hand pointed at the nearby stall. "deal!" with that you made a jump while his eyes were focused on the stall, quickly putting the hat on him before he could say anything else.

"yah-"

"YOU LOOK ADORABLE" you said laughing.

again, his heart just did a backflip. in the span of a minute you just called him both cute and adorable. it was a lot to process, so he was just standing there looking at you.

"your mom needs to see this" you said excitedly bringing out your phone.

hearing the mention of his mom rang an alarm in his head. everybody knows riki's got that soft spot when it came to you. he just somehow can't say no, and even if he did, he'll always end up giving in. and knowing what his mom would have to say when she sees those pictures, he got embarrassed.

riki's a stubborn one when it comes to these things, and for his mom to know that you managed to make him put on the character hat? she will not stop talking about it for as long as she can remember, and riki's mom? not a forgetful woman.

"no no no, cotton candy" he said hurriedly, dragging you by the arm towards the stall.

little did he know, you were spamming your camera button.

walking towards the stall, you guys were met with a friendly lady who gave you a warm smile as soon as she saw you two. or maybe she was already admiring you both at that moment you were trying to convince him to put on his hat.

being easily distracted, you smiled back. "hello, what can i get for you lovebirds?" she said

"o-oh"

"i'll have a blue one, and she'll have a pink one, please" riki said before it got awkward, returning the friendly smile. he didn't deny it either, because he kind of liked it.

"yah, you can't just order for me without knowing what color i wanted" you said turning to him furrowing your eyebrows a bit.

"yeah? what color were you going to get?"

"...pink" you said looking back at what the lady was doing, making riki softly giggle. "still, you should've asked!"

"oh you know i don't need to" he said, smiling while looking at you all embarrassed.

"here you go sweetheart" the lady handed riki your cotton candies, smiling because she was listening to the whole conversation between you two, thinking to herself how exciting and heart warming love at youth was.

although he made a deal with you that you were going to pay for your cotton candies, he still paid.

"you guys want me to take a picture for you two?" the lady offered.

"oh no its okay-

"yes yes please" you said cutting riki off and handing the lady your phone.

you smiled, holding onto riki's arm with your pink cotton candy in hand, and blue in his.

"here you go! you two enjoy your time" the lady said waving at you two as you both walked away. "thank you!" you waved back.

"airdrop me those" riki said, looking straight forward.

"why the sudden change of mind? weren't you just sulking earlier because i said i was going to send them to your mom?" you said chuckling, eating your cotton candy.

"i wasn't sulking, and plus i just want those pictures in my phone for memories. and im sure a couple of them makes your face look funny, they'd be perfect for my lock screen." or maybe just because those pictures only consists of him and you.

you scoffed, "you're unbelievable".

~~

[6:55 PM]

you knew that this whole thing was meant for you and him to relax and have fun but you cant help but feel a bit down.

not because you weren't working on your schoolwork, but because this was the exact same location you got technically rejected by the boy standing right next to you.

on that same ferris wheel that came to sight after looking around for a while.

it was 5:00 PM on a saturday, you and riki were on your first ever hang out together.

your last ride of the day was the ferris wheel, looking around pointing out things that aren't usually seen if you both weren't this high up. you tried to look back at him to see what he was doing, but he was already looking in your direction, and because of how close your faces were, your lips touched by accident.

he avoided you for a week after that, only to come back to talk to you by your locker casually again, that kiss became an unsaid thing and you two never spoke about it ever since.

you were going to attempt to confess again, in the ferris wheel. but you were a nervous wreck, who knows if you were going to try to change up the topics again when the time was right, like you always do.

every time you tried to confess again after that incident, you always end up changing the subject again when its time, too afraid of rejection, telling yourself that at least you get to be around him. and you didn't want to ruin all that.

trying to distract yourself, you looked around and spotted a photo booth.

"riki look! a photo booth!" you pointed.

~

little did you know, riki was also planning out how he was going to tell you that the boy liked you inside his little head.

~~

inspiration song link! - cotton candy, spill tab

~~

next

yours and his life was once all about each other.

morning picnic dates but he forgets to pack the strawberry jam,

coffee dates during fall when he'd wrap his scarf around your neck even though you already had one but it was only another excuse to pull you in close and give you a kiss, he'd smile cheekily right after pulling away. oh how you loved his smile.

library dates during finals week because he insisted on helping you study,

waking up every morning to see him already staring and admiring your features with so much love in his eyes. "morning, doll" he'd always say every morning with a soft smile as his hand reaches out to your face to move your hair from your face delicately

kissing on his rooftop during new years eve as fireworks lit up in the night skies

those days where you'd get into little quarrels and he'd always show up at your doorsteps with snacks in his hands, especially banana milk and chocolate. and you'd always end up forgiving him because you could never seem to stay mad at him.

taking your dog out on walks around the park and stopping by some food stands to get some churros,

baking chocolate cupcakes, dancing around your kitchen island and swaying side to side with his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders as he plays his playlist that he made thinking of you in the background. staring into his eyes made you want to give in whatever you had to make those moments last forever.

those glowing bambi eyes that once felt like they held a thousand galaxies behind them. his gaze that was once so full of love whenever he was with you, was now all dull and felt as if there were no emotions in him at all.

your worst fear was that he'd fall out of love.

your worst fear was that one day, heeseung would find someone else that was better for himself, someone he loved more. and no matter how hard you've tried to be his ideal type, no matter how much you've always tried to be that someone, he was out of your league.

you've always been there for him, you've seen every side of him and stuck with him no matter what. you showed him all the love you ever could to anybody, and yet that somehow wasn't enough.

you weren't enough.

-

you find yourself waiting on your boyfriend to get home safely again, and hes late, like he's always been.

heeseung's been tired lately, you can't really do anything about it since its been stressful at work for him and of course you wanted to treat him well especially during these hard times. it was the least you thought you could do.

you made plans of what you were gonna cook him day to day, made plans of how you were gonna shower him with gifts and movie nights, you made sure to make the bed, did his laundry although he insists, did everything at home despite your study schedule and made sure he was comfortable as soon as he got home.

just as you were done cooking something up in the kitchen while waiting for him to get home, the apartment door opened.

"heeseung! you wanna watch a movie together? look i made ramen and some-" "y/n, we need to talk"

your heart dropped. his tone was unusual, sending an uneasy feeling to your guts.

you stared at him in concern, the look in his eyes were unreadable.

"we can talk about it over some ramen," you gave a warm smile as you walked over to arrange the table, hoping that looking away could cover up the fear you had deep down because you could guess the words that he was going to mutter out next.

and you were saying whatever for for him to not say it even if you already knew.

"let's break up" he said in monotone, looking away from your figure avoiding eye contact.

you froze in place and turned to look at him and all you could mutter out was his name

"hee..."

"i'm sorry"

"is it something i did? i promise you i can fix it if you'd just tell-"

"its not something you did y/n,"

"then.."

"i.. i fell out of love."

he fell out of love. and all you could reply back that day was "oh."

you swore you saw tears in his eyes, all he could say in context to why were just his apologies.

why was he crying? he's the one hurting you most and he knew it. yet all he could spill out were his apologies that would never fix anything.

four years worth, and all he could say is sorry. no better explanation. just his useless apology.

after that he just left. leaving you in tears with the heavy burden on your chest. you hated him for that but all you had to blame was yourself. were you not good enough? did he find someone new? all those questions hanged around your mind.

he just left you alone in your apartment and from that day on, everything you did reminded you of him, all those memories haunted you everywhere you went or did and all you could do about it was cry yourself back to sleep for god knows for how long.

its been a year since it all happened.

your bestfriend, ryujin convinced you to move out of you apartment and helped you pick yourself back up. staying in that apartment would only lead to endless days of skipping meals, classes and crying yourself to sleep. whatever you did was just going to end up in tears and breakdowns.

you've been better and managed to pull yourself back together and focus on your studies. you worked a part time job in a cafe with ryujin and heeseung wasn't much of a burden for you anymore. the thought of him still made you feel heavy and hurt. but at least he everywhere you looked now didn't remind you of him.

-

[9:30 PM]

it was just like every other weekend, you took up an extra shift since you were free. you closed up the cafe, now on your way home to your shared apartment with ryujin. it was autumn again, leaves were falling and it was cold, cozy. you tucked your hands into your coat as you walked down the streets, street lights lighting up the path as you walked along it quietly, admiring the autumn scenery as the cold wind lightly blew on your hair.

reminded you of that winter night two years ago when you were the happiest, with him of course.

the memories lingered in your head and instead of crying like you used to, it made you feel heavy, but those memories made you feel warm and you managed to smile upon thinking about it.

you can't help but miss the way he'd gaze at you, you missed his gentle hands moving your hair away from your face, you missed the love you felt in his gaze whenever he looked at you. but now, those loving eyes were no longer meant for you.

you treasured every single second with him, and you genuinely loved him. and you can't lie to yourself, if he was to call you and told you to come over right now because he wasn't feeling okay, you'd definitely find yourself running back to him with no second thoughts. he still owned your heart like no one else's.

but now, at least he's happier and thats all that really mattered to you.

he fell out of love. and there was nothing you or himself could do about it. it was what it was.

he was out of your league, and no matter how much you tried to be enough for him, you just weren't the one.

it was nice while it lasted, you experienced what love felt like and how much it could hurt.

it hurts for you to think about it and you dread thinking about it, but he wasn't yours. no matter how much you loved him and cared for him,

those loving eyes just weren't yours.

"alright, class!" the teacher said while wiping the board. finally. class is over. school has been a bit hard on you due to you moving to a completely different part of the country and due to the lack of sleep you've been getting.

but then, celebrating would be too soon because "im going to assign a 15 page assignment due next week, its going to be calculated with you physics test this month." he said walking to his desk to grab his neatly organized papers and handed it to the class president. "here you go jungwon."

the sound of students sighing and packing their bags could be hear across the classroom. "oh right" the class then paused to look at the teacher again "you can pick a partner for the assignment. make sure to grab your sheets from jungwon before leaving. class dismissed!"

students started leaving the classroom making their ways to wherever they're going, you couldn't care less right now.

"fuckk" you muttered underneath your breath while facepalming and ruffling your own hair.

in the two week since school started, you've barely made any friends. socializing wasn't really something you're good at. so was physics. how were you going to do this? no fucking idea. "ughh i'm screwed" "hey" a familiar voice from behind said as you shot your head up to follow where it came from, to see the one and only, yang jungwon. "hi" you replied.

yang jungwon, how do you even begin to explain him? he's just perfect. he's a top student, good grades, good looking, AND the most kind hearted you could think of. from the way his eyes squints and deep dimples appear when he smiles, his comforting voice and his warm-hearted personality. his anatomy is just precious and perfect.

you would be lying if you said u weren't just a little fond of him.

"here's your sheets" he said handing your sheets with his signature ":]" smile. "thanks" "no problem"

okay, maybe you had a slight crush on him.

"you looked a bit stressed earlier, everything alright?" he said tilting his head to get a better look of you face "y-yeah" "you sure?" he then let out a little laugh.

okay. maybe you were a little bit whipped for him. his slightest human actions that would be considered normal human response was making your heart flutter.

"well, not really" you gave a straight smile and turned back to your table. after that little laugh of his? you can't look at him in the eyes right now.

he tilted again, but this time he tilted half of his body to see your face, again with that little smile on his face. "if its picking partners you're worried about, i can be your partner?" "what?" "i can be your partner" he repeated.

oh my days. i think i'm hallucinating. you thought to yourself. WHY IS HE SO CUTE

"but i'm not good with physics-" "thats okay" he cut you off "are you sure?" "definitely".

to be honest, jungwon has been observing you for these two weeks you've been here (mainly because he thought you were cute). he loved how you'd talk to yourself without realizing, which was how he guessed you were stressing about picking partners earlier. and yes, he was well aware that physics wasn't your best subject.

no one expected jungwon to be romantically interested in anyone. so did his friends that were lowkey earring this convo from the classroom doorway, so did you, and so did he himself. but here he is, making the first move.

"here" he handed his phone to you. "hm?" you looked at the phone then him with a confused expression. "i need your number to contact you for the assignment" "oh" you carefully took the phone from from his hand and carefully typed in your digits, making sure you don't get your own number wrong out of nervousness.

he noticed that and secretly gave a little smile. cute. he thought.

"here" you handed his phone back to him. "thanks, i'll give you a text later" he said while saving your number under the name "y/n :)" "s-sure" you said standing up prepared to leave with your sheets in your hand.

"hey you left your shoelace untied" he said pointing at your shoes. "oh thanks i-" "here let me help you out" "no no it's okay i can tie it myself-" before you could finish he was already tying them for you. "there you go" "thanks, jungwon" something about the way you pronounced his name made his heart flutter. "no problem, y/n."

"i'm gonna go now, bye" you said. jungwon smiled and waved, "bye". you waved back with a small smile in return before making your way out to the classroom, walking past jungwon's friends.

"yaahhh, yang jungwon!" his friends called from the door as jungwon made his way towards them. "what was that?" jake said in a teasing manner. "its nothing, i was just talking about our assignme-""oh no it was definitely more then that jungwon, you tied her shoelaces!" sunoo said chuckling. "and did you see the way he asked for her number?" "smooth one jungwon, smooth one." jay said, making jungwon look down rubbing his neck smiling shyly.

"come on guys, dont tease him" heeseung said putting his arms around jungwon's shoulder and then ruffling his hair, lowkey feeling proud. "you've got to teach me your ways man" sunghoon said laughing. "i don't even know how i did all that without stuttering" "i never thought you were that type of person to like someone, hyung" niki continued. "me either riki" jungwon replied chuckling.

he didn't know what stage he was at in his life and had no clues of what's going on in his teenage mind. but it was definitely something.

he's lowkey whipped for this girl he had just met two weeks ago. was he nervous about it? yes. but he wasn't going to stop himself.

-

as soon as you got home you started squealing and rolling on you bed and kicking the air.

your crush just asked for your number AND tied your shoelaces. god, this is too much for a girl to process. before you could continue with your thoughts, your phone notifications went off. immediately you unlocked it, know who it could most likely be.

unknown number

"hi :)"

~~