m.list ✴︎ while your daughter is in timeout, jungwon does something that puts him in timeout too.
husband!jungwon x fem!reader fluff slice-of-life 1k
“Eomma! Minji drew on the cabinets again!” Jiwoo, your oldest, screamed from her and Minji’s room.
You dropped the clothes you had in your hands, and ran to the room. Your eyes immediately locking in on Minji clutching a purple crayon in her tiny hand, and the white cabinets behind her full of swirls and flowers.
“No! Minji,” you groaned, kneeling down to her level and grabbing the crayon straight out of her hand. “How many times do I have to tell you that drawing on cabinets and walls is bad.”
“Jiwoo,” her head snapped up from her where she was standing and watching. “Go get me a towel and wet it with water. Bring it to me quickly.” She ran to the bathroom and came back, handing you the towel.
You turned back to Minji, holding the towel out to her. “Come here.” She hesitated, taking slow and small steps. “Take the towel and clean your mess.”
“But, eomma…” she started, “No. No buts, start wiping.”
With a tiny pout, she began scrubbing at the purple marks. Most of it coming off, but the darker marks made her little arms quickly become tired.
A few minutes later you crouched down beside her and helped her finish.
When the last mark was gone, you set the towel aside and got up from kneeling. “Now go sit by the wall. You’re on timeout until I say you can leave.”
Minji’s eyes immediately watered. “No! Eomma! I don’t want time out.” she cried out. “I know you don’t but you have to learn.”
She reached for your hand. “Eomma please…”
You gently squeezed her hand, before letting go. “Go. Now. Don’t try to fight me on this.”
With her head hanging low, she slowly walked to the timeout spot, sniffing quietly as she sat down facing the wall.
You watched her for a second before turning to Jiwoo. “Jiwoo, come here.”
“Yes eomma?”
“Help me finish cleaning and then you can watch TV.”
— ᨳଓ
Around five minutes later the door opened. “I’m home!” Jungwon announced, taking his shoes off at the front door.
“Appa!” Jiwoo hurried to the door, jumping in Jungwons arm and hugging him. “I missed you appa!”
“I missed you too.” he smiled, kissing the top of her head before setting her down.
They bothed walked to the kitchen, where you were finishing up dinner. “Hey love,” he said softly, wrapping his arm around your waist.
You leaned into him for a second, resting your head briefly against his shoulder. “How was work?”
“Long,” he sighed, “How was your day?”
“Good… but you’re gonna have to talk to Minji,” you told him while wrapping your arms around him. “Hm? Why?” he questioned.
“Go talk to her, shes in timeout right now.” He nodded before giving your waist a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be right back.”
She looked up after hearing his footsteps, “Appa!” her eyes lit up the second she saw him.
no He sat down near her, “Why are you in timeout, huh? What did my princess do?”
She pouted again, looking down and not answering. “Minji…” he said a little more firmly.
She crossed her arms and grunted before murmuring, “I drew on cabinets…”
“And why did you do that?”
“Because I was bored.”
“You never draw on furniture princess, only paper.” he explained, “Don’t tell your eomma though—But I like your drawings… even on the walls.”he joked, not wanting to see her more upset. Oh how he was going to regret that.
Minji giggled slightly, her pout disappearing into a grin. “Really appa..?”
“Mhm, of course! Just don’t tell eomma”
“Yang Jungwon.” both Minji and Jungwons smile disappeared, both turning to you slowly. “Why are you making her laugh? She’s in timeout for a reason!” you scolded him.
He blinked, nervous and worried, “I was just trying to lighten her mood…” he admitted, standing up and reaching for your hand. You backed away before he could grab you and pointed to the wall where Minji was. “Timeout. Now.”
“What.” he asked in disbelief. “Wait—babe, no, I just got home please.”
“Nope, go sit now.” you heard Jiwoo laugh from the table, watching her sister and dad both get in trouble.
He let out a quiet sigh before sitting back down again, this time for a different reason.
Minji watched with quiet amusement as he lowered himself onto the floor beside her. He looked over at you, “How long?”
“The same time she has.” he nodded. Without another word, he sat facing foward beside Minji. Already regretting what he did.
Minji slowly scooted closer until their shoulders touched. Looking up at him and teasing him, “Ooo, appa you’re in trouble toooo.”
“Shh, your eommas gonna put more time.” he laughed, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.
After ten minutes you decided it was enough time and walked over, “Alright. Time’s over.”
Minji stood up first and ran into your arms, “I’m sorry eomma.” you hugged her tightly before letting go and staring at her face, “You know why mommy had to put you in timeout right?”
“Yes eomma…I know.” she nodded seriously before turning to her appa.
He stood up, dusting his pants off. “Appa, up!” she demanded with her hands up in a grabbing gesture. He laughed while bending down and picking her up with one arm. The other wrapping around your shoulder.
He led both of you to the table where he let Minji down in her seat before hugging Jiwoo who was waiting to eat.
— ᨳଓ
After dinner, Jiwoo and Minji were in the living room watching a cartoon while you and Jungwon quickly cleaned up the kitchen. Without a word, he slipped both arms around your waist again, pulling you close. “You really put me in timeout,” he murmured, his face resting in your neck leaving small kisses.
“Mhm, you know the rules babe.” you slightly teased him.
He smiled softly, his head coming out from your neck and looking down at you. “You’re lucky I love you.” you laughed, giving him a quick kiss.
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Hewo! Idk if you could do a cute fluff Jungwon picnic date where they w at matching cute clothes and spend the day having fun together. Please!!! Thank you!! 🙏
oh my wonnie 💔
warnings: none!! it's all cutesy heheh
you arrive at his apartment in the morning wearing a soft white sundress with tiny yellow flowers embroidered on the hem. your hair is tied back with a matching yellow ribbon. jungwon opens the door and his eyes light up instantly. he’s wearing a white button-up shirt with the same yellow flower pattern on the collar and pocket, paired with light beige shorts and white sneakers. a matching yellow ribbon is tied around his wrist like a bracelet.
“we look like a couple from a drama,” he says, grinning wide as he pulls you inside for a tight hug. “you’re so pretty, baby. i feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now.”
you giggle and kiss his cheek. “you look adorable, wonie. we match perfectly, see?”
he takes your hand and spins you around once, admiring the way your dress twirls. “perfect. now we can take a thousand pictures and make everyone who sees us gag or die of cuteness.”
after packing the basket he prepared the night before, you head out together on his bicycle. you sit on the back seat, arms wrapped around his waist, cheek resting against his back as he pedals through the sunny streets. the wind feels refreshing, and jungwon keeps glancing back at you with bright eyes, making sure you’re comfortable.
the park is beautiful this time of year — wide green lawns, blooming cherry trees, and a small lake sparkling under the sun. jungwon finds the perfect spot under a big shady tree with a view of the water. he spreads out a checkered blanket while you unpack the food: strawberry sandwiches, kimbap rolls, fresh fruit salad, chocolate cookies, and two bottles of iced peach tea.
“i made everything myself,” he says proudly, puffing his chest a little. “well… except the kimbap. my mom helped with that one. but i did the rest!”
you laugh and lean over to kiss him. “it all looks amazing, baby. thank you.”
you spend the first hour eating and talking. jungwon feeds you bites of fruit, blushing when you return the favor and wipe a bit of chocolate from the corner of his lip. you take lots of pictures — selfies of you two making peace signs, candid shots of him laughing with his eyes crinkled, and one where he’s resting his head on your shoulder while you feed him a strawberry.
after eating, jungwon pulls out a small bluetooth speaker and plays your shared playlist. soft, upbeat songs fill the air as you both lie on the blanket, fingers intertwined. the sun filters through the leaves above, painting pretty patterns on your matching clothes.
“wanna play?” he asks, eyes sparkling with mischief. he brought a frisbee, a small kite, and a deck of cards.
you start with the frisbee. jungwon is surprisingly competitive, running around the grass with his shirt sleeves rolled up, laughing every time you miss and have to chase after it. when you finally catch one mid-air, he cheers loudly and runs over to spin you around in his arms.
“my girlfriend is so talented!” he declares dramatically, making you giggle.
next comes the kite. it takes a few tries and a lot of tangled string, but eventually it soars high in the blue sky. you both hold the string together, jungwon standing behind you with his chin on your shoulder, arms around your waist. the gentle breeze makes the kite dance above the lake.
“this is perfect,” he murmurs softly against your ear. “i could stay here with you all day.”
you turn your head and kiss his cheek. “me too.”
when the kite flying makes you both tired, you return to the blanket for card games. jungwon teaches you a new game he learned from his friends, but he keeps losing on purpose just to see you celebrate. every time you win a round, he dramatically falls back onto the blanket, clutching his heart.
“how are you so good at this? i think you’re cheating with your cuteness,” he teases, pulling you down on top of him.
you lie on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat while the sun warms your backs. his fingers play with the yellow ribbon in your hair, occasionally tracing gentle circles on your back. you talk about everything and nothing — your classes, his part-time job at the café, dreams for the future, and silly stories from when you first met.
“remember when i spilled coffee all over your notes on our second date?” he asks, laughing at the memory. “i thought you’d never want to see me again.”
“i knew then you were special,” you reply, smiling. “only someone as sweet as you would offer to rewrite all my notes by hand.”
as the afternoon stretches, you feed the ducks by the lake with some leftover bread. jungwon takes videos of you surrounded by the fluffy birds, captioning one “my girlfriend is a disney princess” before showing it to you. you splash water at him playfully and he chases you across the grass until you both collapse back on the blanket, breathless and happy.
later, you pull out a small sketchbook you brought. while jungwon rests his head in your lap, you draw silly doodles of him with cat ears and his yellow ribbon. he watches you with soft, loving eyes, occasionally reaching up to boop your nose or tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
“i love days like this,” he says quietly, voice full of warmth. “just you and me, no stress, matching clothes, good food, and lots of laughter. i wish every day could be a picnic date with you.”
you lean down and kiss him softly, tasting the sweetness of peach tea on his lips. “we’ll make more days like this. i promise.”
as the sun begins to dip lower, painting the sky in soft oranges and pinks, jungwon packs everything up carefully. he insists on carrying the basket and the blanket while you hold his hand on the walk back to the bike. before leaving the park, he pulls you close for one more photo — both of you smiling brightly in your matching outfits, the golden hour light making everything look magical.
on the bike ride home, you wrap your arms tighter around him and rest your head against his back again. the streets are quieter now, and jungwon hums along to the songs still playing faintly from his pocket speaker.
when you reach his apartment, he doesn’t let you leave right away. instead, he tugs you inside, orders your favorite takeout for dinner, and pulls you onto the couch for cuddles. you’re both a little sun-kissed and tired, still wearing your matching outfits as you snuggle under a blanket.
“best date ever,” he whispers, pressing gentle kisses to your forehead, your nose, and finally your lips. “i love you so much.”
you smile against his chest, heart full. “i love you too, my cute matching boyfriend.”
jungwon giggles softly and holds you closer, already planning your next adventure together. for now, though, this moment — warm, safe, and overflowing with quiet joy — is more than enough.
you sit alone on the first stair that takes to the second floor, the house was dark, pretty quiet and echoey, when you see jungwon walking through the door you run and hug him tightly.
jungwon came back from hunting fireflies to keep the hideout lit at night for you.
His cyan big fluffy jacket and the focused expression on his face, his little bangs, your chin at the level of his shoulders, you look up at him and smile, he smiles back.
"i got you fireflies"
"thank you"
He puts the bucket down holding your body with the other free hand, your hands lingering on his chest.
"stay still there's a bug on your hair"
He gets it off you then continues caressing your hair and pulling it away from your face, not even a fatherly figure at this point, a motherly.
You chuckle as you look into his serious focused face.
He sees you and acknowledge your laughing with a smile.
"what"
"nothing"
"what's funny about me hum?"
He says absentmindedly still brushing your hair.
"you're always taking care of me"
"that's what I'm supposed to do, here, let's get this place more comfortable for your eyes"
"can you really see in this darkness"
"uhum"
He finally lets go of you emptying the bucket of fireflies inside a hole in the wall with some blue light coming from his eyes, the house goes completely bright.
"so much better"
"so much better?" He leans lifting the empty bucket out of the way heading to get some freezed blood from the fridge.
You're just following him, your index finger and thumb keeping the elbow of his jaket between them, refusing to let go of his presence that you long waited for.
"i wanna go with you next time"
He shugs some water first.
"it's so cold"
"I'm okay"
"you're sensitive to cold"
" let me be sensitive for a while, I'm so bored alone"
"where is everyone"
"they left, only sunghoon's sleeping"
He takes a look at you as you both sat to the kitchen table, your chair is dragged so close to him, he can feel your human heat.
You're looking at him like he's the most important thing in the world and he can see that; he's been seeing that.
"I don't know y/n, it's a bit dangerous"
He takes a bite from the popsicle.
"I'll be okay, you're with me"
He scoffs but enjoys it secretly.
"come on promise me"
You reach his cheeks and squeeze them between your fingers.
He feels embarrassingly amused, he grins in fake annoyance and his dimple shows. You poke it.
"ok, I can't refuse anyways"
.
.
.
"Let go of my face now y/n"
"how do you look like this, you make me wanna squish you all the time"
"ah stop"
You're finally taking your hands away.
"anyways thank you, it'll be so fun tomorrow"
You grab his arm resting your head on it.
---
You're in the early depts of the forest next to your hideouts, he was right, it's too cold, wearing two jackets didn't do it, you're trying to act fine but he knows you too well.
You accidentally make eyecontact with him and you both chuckle, your acting to be fine was such a fail.
"you were right, I'm regretting"
A big embarrassed smile on your face.
He chuckles coming over to you, retreating the steps he got ahead with.
"take my jacket I can barely feel the cold"
"people will look at you weird when your nose doesn't even get red in this cold, without a jacket"
He stops mid taking it off, looking for a better way to make you warm.
"then .. come here"
He comes impossibly close to you and slides his hand inside your jaket after zipping it half way, his palm going to the back of your rib cage.
You feel a heating pad-like warmth spread on your lungs then heart muscle and more than that, when you look up, he's too close.
His focus is on where he's resting his palm then on your face trying to figure out how it's working.
The way his eyebrows are focused on your expressions, not a single stutter in his gaze.
"is it working?"
He finally puts it into words.
"yeah- i can feel the heat" you blink, looking away for a second from that intense stare.
He stays there for few more seconds, enjoying his "job" bluntly just for few more seconds, eyes on your creeping blush just for few more seconds..
******
You're laying on your bed waiting for a ride to dreamland to come pick you up but all you can think of is him.
jungwon, jungwon, jungwon.
You turn on your right side: jungwon.
You lay flat on your back: jungwon.
You close your eyes: jungwon.
You're cursed with this overwhelming want to hug him.
Being impossibly close to him, to the point you feel like existing in a space that doesn't have his particles in it ruins your life.
"It's just a hug, is it really that bad to want a hug at this time?"
You get inside your slippers quickly and walk to his room, the moment you try to knock he opens the door in a black tank top and almost bumps into you.
"oh"
"ah"
"what are you doing here"
"I- you can go to the bathroom I'll wait"
"I'm not going to the bathroom I was just bored"
"oh- so..."
"since you're here .... get in"
He opens the door widely, the way he's carrying himself is a bit too charming.
"is anything wrong"
"no I was bored too"
He closes the door once you're fully in.
You have no idea how to tell him you came here to hug him, he doesn't look like the huggable teady bear he usually is.
His shoulders looking like they scale a meter, the toned glowy surface of it and the collar bones..
"sit down, why do you look like that"
You sit on the edge of his bed.
He's laying his body on the bed facing you, his torso leaning on the board.
"you couldn't fall asleep?" He asks.
"yeah, you?"
"me too"
"it's not that I couldn't fall asleep, i didn't even want to, i was bored"
"yeah?"
"uhum" you smack your lips together feeling like you're about to get marinated in silence for a while.
You take your gaze away from him, putting your knee close to your chin.
"you hurt your knee"
"oh" you take a look and it does have a long scratch right in the center covered with dry blood.
Jungwon sucks some air and comes closer.
"i knew the fall was strong, why do you always try to act tough hum?" ... "... come here"
He stands up getting some ointment from his drawer, you're not sure where to come -here-.
He looks back at you "get on top of the desk"
You stand up facing the desk with your back, your wrists pushing its surface trying to jump over to it.
You fail few too many times while he watches you, he hovers over and wraps his palms around your waist lifting you up.
Your clothes ruffle under his hands, your legs straddling him before he moves away.
He hovers over your knee applying ointment carefully.
Your breathing goes shallow enough that you're scared he'll notice it.
Your shorts slightly riding up, they feel tight on your center and hips, you want to move to fix them but the tension making it hard to move even one muscle.
One of his palms resting on the desk while the other hand worked on your skin.
The resting hand suddenly goes behind your calves lifting your knee up a bit.
The touch was so sudden and sensitive your lungs begs for air, your nose sucks air in so audibly it echoes in the room.
You were only dreaming of specs of him but now you're sitting up his face, his gaze facing your pants.
Jungwon hovers to get a bandage that's resting behind you on the desk and you instinctively move back, his bare shoulder brushing on your chest.
He sticks it tightly, not a word out of his mouth.
Jungwon was in fact bothered, very bothered, because you're here, in his room, your body so available to him but he needs to push himself back from looking like the monster inside him.
Your flowy little pink top, your tight shorts, and mostly the way your skin turns pink everywhere he touches, was driving him out of his right mind, being silent is the best he can perform.
The way you walked into his room needy for him, always looking for him, unlike you you haven't hugged, squished, or called him cute yet, the thing he was yearning and waiting for.
You let your legs fall off and lift you off the desk.
"thank you" you say watching him put things back inside the drawer.
A dark red hue at the back of his neck, he straightens up trying to walk back to his bed but you tuck on his hand pulling him to face you, you look into each other's eyes for a second then you take a step closer wrapping him slowly in a hug.
Your chest bumps into his, his bare shoulders under your nose and his small waist not fitting into the usual space you make for the jacket.
You close your hands further and you feel his waist muscles under your skin.
A heavy silent breath leaves his chest but fills right away.
Whenever you burry yourself into him further he either shifts or trembles.
He slowly gives in, letting his arms go around your back and push you further into him, his head falling closer to your ear.
"this is what i came for" you say, your tone a bit shy.
"uhum, i figured" he replies.
"sometimes i forget how to function without you" you laugh.
Pulling away to meet his face, his hands drop to your waist while yours lingers on his biceps.
"good thing I'm not easy to die-" he answers with a shy grin, blowing air into one cheek of his, then lifting an eyebrow before letting it fall, the thing he always does to regulate shyness.
"yeah"
"yeah-" both of you say.
You maintain this questionable eyecontact, trying to make it lawful with few blinks.
His eyes keeps drooping to the door every now and then.
"you wanna go back t—" ge asks
"No"
"No?"
"Not yet"
"Okay" He smiles, his dimple showing, his eyes too thin.
He takes a step forward to the door while still hugging you, another, then decides to just lift you up and walk comfortably to lock it.
You burry your face into his neck at the sound of the door locking, your legs slightly straddles his waist while his palms held on the back of your thighs.
"what was that?" you ask
"the door lock"
"i know"
"i- don't want someone walking in on this"
"got it" you mutter, voice too muffled with his skin, it travels through his skin rather than his ears, he gulps.
It's silent, by the second the hug, the skinship spots getting louder, yet both of you welcome it.
Your hand goes to fluff of his head stroking it, he lets out and audible sigh, then another.
Then another but it ends up too charged with something that sounds like complaint.
You stop, not sure how to decipher it.
"why did you stop" he murmurs quietly.
"I- okay" you resume massaging his scalp lazily.
He lets out another sigh and it makes your insides melt, he snuggles closer to your neck, you feel the breath leaving.
You feel his nose against your skin then he moves slightly and it's replaced by the touch of his lips pressed together, pushing a feather touch peck to your neck.
You froze, it felt uncontrolled, unthought through.
And most importantly, amazing.
"is this okay" he whispers to your ear.
He waits for you to nod before pressing another one, then another, then another.
He moves to your face, peppering your cheeks, you meet eyes through it and he looks like he left earth a while ago, his friendly smiley gaze long lost, his pupils blown out looking at your lips like a fiest.
His eyes turning yellow for a split second and it tells you everything, you pushed his last buttons.
"Jungwon" you call his name and he throws his head back squeezing his eyes shut, a moany -ah- leaves his throat.
He turns around putting you gently on his bed, yet very hurryingly.
"y/n" he stares deep into your eyes with his glossy ones, his hands going to your head caressing it, eyebrows a bit arched, a slight tremble on his lower lip.
"hum" you answer.
"you need to remember I'm a man everytime you throw your tender body on me"
ִֶָ. 𖥔 SYNOPSIS : With the third magical academic year starting, you and Jungwon plan to have a normal school year and complete many goals. Except, you have to earn Enchantix with your frequent burn-outs, and Jungwon wants to become a full-fledged warrior and push past his anxiety. With their own goals in mind, they feel like 2 idiots that keep meeting by chance. However, when mysterious events threaten the magical kingdoms and schools, the specialists and fairies have to figure out the culprit and save the magical universe. But fate has other plans for their adventures and for your ‘coincidental’ meeting with Jungwon.
.𖥔 ╰┈➤𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 (comment or give an ask) ۶ৎ
w.c: 3.8k. << M.LIST >> 🩷 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
━━━━━━━━━━━━━˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱‧₊˚━━━━━━━━━━━━━
── ⋮ ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ˎˊ˗ ✿
JUNGWON WAS OVERWHELMED.
Not in a bad way. It was because of Sunghoon’s huge backyard that stretched for miles. A glorious marble fountain was centred in the garden, water pouring down like silk into the shimmering reservoir; a lush green maze was on the left, adorned with colourful, idyllic petals and fairy lights; around the yard’s perimeter, warm lanterns lined the perimeter.
Well, it led to the tall, golden palace behind him. Beige railings led past several white and marigold roses until they kissed the walls connecting to the huge, glass garden doors. The Palace itself had clean windows, spiralling towers reaching the stars, and an interior that could make someone’s wallet hurt.
Fancy.
Jungwon had four cruel hours of sleep because he was completing assignments until the last minute. However, it was Sunghoon’s words from three days ago that rendered Jungwon into procrastination. From there, conflict brewed slowly into a gruelling concoction that drowned his heart.
When he had tried to flatten it out with meditation, it led to that one conversation where Sunghoon’s icy stare stabbed the memory.
“… focus on the relationship you do have…”
The more he thought of it, the more he felt offended at Sunghoon’s audacity and his own cowardice. He was focusing on his relationship with Leerae. Why did Sunghoon say that? Why couldn’t Jungwon forget it?
He was trying, so he didn’t need to let Sunghoon feed the doubt. But, he did anyway. Sunghoon, for some reason, saw right through him.
Jungwon snapped back to reality when Sunoo joined his side against the railing. Sunoo was in all black. From the pants to the blazers, and on the lapel of said blazer, a snowflake brooch pinched into the shiny fabric. Jungwon, on the other hand, had a white shirt and black tie tucked beneath a charcoal blazer that fitted perfectly across his broad shoulders.
“Did you try to do your hair, or were you confused?” Sunoo raised a brow at Jungwon.
Absentmindedly, Jungwon flicked a loose strand away, sulking. “I did. Who gave you that dumbass brooch thing?” He remarked pettily.
“Sunghoon hyung,” Sunoo said incredulously, eyes narrowed.
Jungwon rolled his eyes, now staring at the lanterns mirroring the planets and stars of the night sky. “Of course he did.”
Sunoo internally snapped and faced Jungwon directly. “Okay, what the hell happened? You still haven’t told me what you and Sunghoon Hyung talked about. And now, you’re being a pissy child about it.”
Jungwon acknowledged that a fracture of it was true. A huge portion of it, actually. However, the humiliation of that moment and his inability to sort his emotions out like a near-adult made it hard to confess what gears were turning in his head. It was stupid to even ask for advice on his own relationship. Or to ask whether he looked like he was as dismissive as Sunghoon said.
So, instead of being a mature teen, he scoffed, eyes avoidant, and said, “he was being an asshole.”
Sunoo blinked like he couldn’t believe it before sighing. “That’s vague, but okay.” Sunoo scanned his friend, lips frowning with doubts he wanted answers to, but then, Jay and Riki arrived in their own respective suits.
Jay wore a cream shirt, two buttons scandalously undone over white trousers. Riki wore a matching set to Jungwon: a white shirt and a black, unbuttoned blazer.
“Guess what?” Riki asked Jungwon and Sunoo, unable to catch the hint of tension. Jay rolled his eyes. “Hyung lost his blazer.”
Sunoo remained silent, and that was when Riki felt the strain pulling taut over them. He stopped and glanced at Jungwon, who was beginning to frown with defensively crossed arms.
“So, about you and Sunghoon Hyung the other day…” Riki began conversationally.
Jungwon grimaced in one big, offended gesture to the three, eyes wildly impatient. “It was nothing! Why do you guys want to know so bad?”
Riki and Jay flinched back a little, but Sunoo was over it as he checked his cuticles. Jungwon, to the boys, looked crazy. Clearing his throat, Riki thinned his lips. “Because Hyung won’t tell us either.”
“Good.” Jungwon nodded.
Jay spared a questioning glance at the younger ones, who both made a gesture of their hands, slicing the air by their neck. Cut it out.
Jungwon obviously felt bad for snapping at his friends, but even he couldn’t contain the storm of his own conflict into digestible words. That he wanted a break from Leerae? That deep inside, he knew exactly where the discourse was rotting from. It wasn’t enough. The guilt brusquely stopped him from exploring.
Jungwon sighed, scanning the Palace where several men and women sauntered across the upper floors. Leerae would be here soon. He crossed his arms tighter, forcing his eyes from the railings to the glass doors when he stopped dead in his tracks.
You were there.
You were wearing a sweet, pink dress where embellishments glittered at the cloudy ruffles, and reflected off the lanterns. Your hair fell in a way that complemented your face, gliding over skin like honey. Diamonds dangled off your ears, and your bare collarbone shimmered with one dainty gem.
Jungwon’s heart stopped, feeling the urge to explore the hills of said collarbones and the smooth sea of skin. Heck, he held his breath so he could commit all his energy into imprinting your figure into memory. His breath hitched before he forced himself to blink, holding his arms tighter. He couldn’t go there.
You were standing, looking around for something. Your hands were fiddling with another chain on your wrist. Jungwon squinted and smiled ever so slightly when he saw it was the sun bracelet he had gifted you.
Flutters swallowed his stomach. It was incredibly unnerving.
Before Jungwon could decide whether or not to greet you, Sunghoon, in his royal navy suit, approached from behind with a glittering crown that demanded respect.
Sunghoon tapped your shoulder, startling you to turn around, but Jungwon could tell you were smiling. His heart sank as Sunghoon’s hand slithered to your mid back, walking you into the Palace where chandeliers marked the ceilings like stars, and where more royals were gathered.
He almost followed, magnetised, but then, a voice called out.
“Won!” said the voice behind him. The figure strolled into his side with a hug. From the height and giggle, it was Leerae. The other three boys awkwardly floated away, giving them space.
Jungwon buried the discourse before it could sting. He needed a whole business day to map his feelings.
“Hey,” he said quietly, a hesitant hand landing on her upper back. She stiffened, retracting a little while clinging to his arm.
“You okay?” She asked curiously. He nodded; the flutters from before went dormant.
“You look good,” he said after a while. And at least that was true. She wore a white and emerald gown that cascaded to her ankles.
Nudging a proud elbow into him, she grinned, fully linking arms. “It’s custom. Sent by my mother in Tir Na Nog!”
He nodded without an ounce of intrigue, eyes wandering dangerously to the garden doors. She furrowed her brows, a hand on his other arm as she came before him. That got his attention.
“You seem distracted. Did something happen?” She asked, cautious.
“I’m fine,” he affirmed. At that, she melted and leaned in for a routine kiss, but Jungwon’s adrenaline broke through, and he dodged it gracefully.
Leerae pulled back with brittle bewilderment.
“I’m thirsty. Do you want anything to drink? I’ll go get it.” Jungwon stepped back.
She blinked, taken aback. “Sure. Some water would help.”
Jungwon flew up those steps.
—
YOU FELT OUT OF PLACE.
Not because of your attire, but because when you stood beside Sunghoon and his outrageously sparkly crown, it was bound to attract other eyes. But these people probably had no clue who you were. Maybe they did from the raging tabloids, but it didn’t matter. It was going to be negative either way.
An unknown girl smothered by the Prince Park Sunghoon while ladies lined up for him. Your mother, actually, had given such a delighted smile from across the room that you felt obligated to stay in place beside him as if you were his trophy.
That discomfort bubbled down below as you fiddled with the Sun bracelet. Honestly, you didn’t know why you wore it. It had peeked out from your jewellery stand, and without thinking, you had marked your wrist with it.
It seemed silly now. But it provided a soothing balm when you fiddled with it.
The girls weren’t here yet, so as you stood with him, you sought out your friends.
Sunghoon straightened, sparing a sneaky glance over your shiny eyes and cheeks before spotting your fingers and the new, pink set. “The nails look really good, by the way.” He subtly smirked.
You smiled a little. “Only because you chose this set,” you mumbled back quietly. “Thank you, by the way.”
“No problem.” He replied softly, meeting your gaze with duty. When you returned it, his admiration flashed brighter than the chandeliers. It was too much.
He didn’t hide it. And you didn’t know what to do with that information, and glanced away. Very quickly, you became distracted as Jungwon came into sight and strummed your heartstrings.
He was looking for something, lips pursed as he scoured the table of glass drinks with utmost concentration. A glass was already in his hands, so it meant that Leerae was here. Right.
She was a Princess. Someone well respected and well-versed in everything that came to magic. Leerae was a decisive force while your own thoughts argued over one decision.
For example, how she ditched you so easily over the potion project, and didn’t hesitate to leave you in loneliness.
You blinked at Jungwon, not knowing what you wanted. But then, he froze like he felt something brush over him, and gazed up, locking eyes. That alone was enough to suck you into the stars that made his mind. If you could explore just a little bit of that galaxy, maybe you wouldn’t be so disorganised in life.
His eyes twinkled just a little brighter when you held the gaze, heart thrumming louder in your chest, as if urging you to talk to him. But you couldn’t. So, you settled for staying there, magnetised without closing the distance.
Sunghoon glanced at your distracted gaze, following the steady path to see Jungwon standing with equal stability. Quiet fury flickered in chest. Sunghoon wasn’t stupid enough to be blind to Jungwon’s own actions, but he was going to stop it.
Swiftly hooking a hand around your arm, he tugged you back towards the garden door. Your fiddling abruptly stopped, and you snapped out of it.
“I want to show you our maze. Different flowers grow there,” Sunghoon said, ushering you forward.
“A maze?” you echoed, voice still struggling to keep up as you spared one last glance at Jungwon. He didn’t take his eyes off, however. His gaze treaded pleasantly at your back, but you ignored it.
“Yeah. My sister and I always got lost in there. We always played hide-and-seek,” he explained. Through the various colours of ballgowns and suits, you were outside again in the darker night, descending the steps to Sunghoon’s request.
On your left was the infamous maze, but on your right, your friends were already in a small circle and instantly spotted you. Hanni gawked while Minji waved exaggeratedly with a grin. You didn’t get to wave because Sunghoon’s hand slithered down your bare arm to engulf your hand with guidance.
He swallowed your fingers with his, leaving no room for movement. After passing through whispers of people, one of whom was Leerae, you walked faster until the entrance of the maze stood high with glittering lights.
Sunghoon led you into the path of hedges and petals, gradually eroding the anxiety sitting like a rock in your chest. And he was still holding your hand with certainty. No one had held your hand for so long and with such determination. The attention, however, blossomed pink petals to cluster about the crown of your head before you could even stop the guilty pleasure from reaching your brain.
Sunghoon slowed once the murmur of the crowd faded into clouds. “So, up to standard?” he asked, letting go of your hand to lean back on a hedge. Said hedge had patterns of pink, white, and gold roses.
“They’re beautiful,” you agreed, nodding. “And maintained.”
He grinned, eyes twinkling with that triumphant shimmer rather than the calm ones that belonged to Jungwon.
“You can tell?” He gazed with heavy interest, almost bruising into your side profile.
“I can. They smell sweet,” you said, ignoring the force of his attention, and cupping the soft petals in your palm. Your thumb brushed the green, rigid stem. “Strong as well. No drooping.”
“You’re good at this,” he murmured beneath a knowing, slow smile.
“I’m a nature fairy, Sunghoon,” you said, chuckling. Flirting like this was still a new territory to explore. Though Sunghoon’s blatant, resilient stare, the tender smile, and how his chest nearly brushed your shoulder were enough to tell you he was making the advances.
“Not what I meant.” He tucked a strand behind your ear, lingering with hope, and then brushed your jaw like a hidden letter.
He didn’t stop at your inquisitive gaze, reaching the pink clusters above your ears. They bled a deeper pink, making him slowly tilt his head. “You’re good at pulling me in.”
Inching closer, you backed up into the hedges until it looked as if you were in a bed of roses. Sunghoon found you pretty like this, and inched closer with intent, hovering over you with all smiles and a gentle voice.
“You’re resilient, and beautiful, and so…” he scanned your bewildered eyes, even pretty then. “… so kind.”
Flustered, you looked down, looking to fiddle with the bracelet, but instead of cold beads, you felt nothing. Panic briefly arose like thorns, eyes darting from one wrist to another, but Sunghoon, in all obliviousness, tipped your chin up to lock gazes. That fractured your breath.
Soon enough, his hand joined your cheek in union, the hope in his eyes flourishing at a speed you couldn’t keep up with. A thumb rubbed in a discernible shape, but under the sparks of your cheek, you couldn’t decide what you wanted right now.
Sunghoon was glorious. His features were arranged in harmony, like a Prince should have. Over the past few days, he was excessively generous without debt. But this was the biggest one. He was leading it up to this moment.
You should have been flattered, but all you found was a confusing puzzle you couldn’t piece. Just as he leaned in, eyes clouded, your shoulders locked up, and that initial appreciation hit your limbs with adrenaline.
Like a coward, you ran from his side, cheeks warm, hair blossoming with purple petals. Sunghoon stumbled, kissing a flower instead. Retreating, he wiped his lips with the back of a hand, disappointed. But, he didn’t give chase.
When you made it out after a few stressful turns, you bumped into Minji, and she turned with the other girls. You melted in relief.
“Where were you?” She asked, holding you firmly by the shoulders.
You tensed. Haerin spotted the violet in your hair. “Did something happen?”
The girls turned, expectant and silent. With no choice, you met their gazes.
“I think Sunghoon tried to kiss me.”
Hanni nearly fainted, but Dani held her arm without breaking her own shock. All the girls had their jaws dropped. Even Haerin.
—
Jungwon, to his dismay, was looking for you.
Well, it sounded weird, but it wasn’t. In his hand was the sun bracelet that you had lost at some point. Seeing it abandoned, Jungwon was determined to return it to you.
The only problem was that he couldn’t find you because Sunghoon had taken you somewhere. And he couldn’t find him either.
Around him, the boys talked and entertained themselves where the crowd was beginning to gather. The urgency to return it prickled him before it got too squished. His thumb relayed over the bead’s surface, as if he could corrode and find some balance of peace to take himself.
Leerae was somewhere with her friends, and he didn’t even care. That was the worst part. He didn’t care. How was he supposed to move past that conclusion? What was he supposed to do with that conclusion? A relationship couldn’t be built like that.
“Anyone know where Sunghoon is?” Jake asked, pushing his glasses up.
“Speeches, remember? Thousandth year of Eraklyon, so royal shit, I guess,” said Heeseung, fixing his black bowtie. Then, he diligently stole Jay’s drink right out of his hand. Jay’s smile vanished.
“That was mine—”
“Tradition this, tradition that. Why don’t we just wing it?” Riki crossed his arms with a grumble.
Sunoo scowled. “Why don’t you ask him?”
“I would if I could, but he’s gone,” Riki returned, dangerously nearing a quarrel.
Jay huffed, giving up as Heeseung hoarded his drink, and crossed his arms. “It’s not just tradition, Riki. It’s legacy. I read that this was the day the first-ever King courted his wife.”
“Yeah, I’m not that old,” Riki remarked with a raised brow. Jay rubbed the bridge of his nose, giving up with the younger one.
“Whatever.”
Jungwon heard it all before it went out of the other ear. Soon enough, he couldn’t hear them at all. Eager to find you, his eyes wandered intrusively over clusters of people before he found you and the pale petals blossomed in your hair.
Jungwon looked back at his friends and, when he found them busy, he floated away and through the crowd. The bracelet was cradled in his palm, close to his torso, as if glass.
He saw you more clearly now after excusing himself. Your back was to him, displaying those shoulder blades that corrupted every pillar of calm, and you were deep in conversation with your friends. Though he couldn’t even tell what colour they wore. He only saw your sweet, pink gown rippling off your body.
Bracelet. That was the goal.
Exhaling for a few seconds, Jungwon had only taken two strides before the garden lanterns dimmed, and spotlights hit the upper floors of the Palace. People quietened instantly, facing forward. Jungwon had no choice and followed.
The garden doors opened to reveal King and Queen Park, Princess Yerin, who was Sunghoon’s younger sister, and Sunghoon himself, descending the steps with a silent demand of respect.
Out of the corner of his eye, you were closer than he thought. Gripping the bracelet, he decided the bracelet could be returned after the speech. After all, it couldn’t take that long. Jungwon forced himself to face the royal family, even if Sunghoon’s presence set a fuse off.
King Park smiled at the crowd, his voice reaching miles beyond. “Welcome, everyone, and thank you for coming. Today marks the thousandth year of Eraklyon becoming an established Kingdom. Along with today, Eraklyon has proudly helped our neighbouring Kingdom, Karunda.”
Jungwon stared at Sunghoon. It felt petty to ignore him. What if what he had said was true? Sighing, Jungwon broke out of it as the King droned on about scholarships, rebuilding the country, and the truce with Melody. But Jungwon followed the path of Sunghoon’s own focus.
It led to you. You stood there with shoulders strung together with untold tension, eyes hesitant as it flickered by the family, and your one hand engulfing your empty wrist. It only made Jungwon’s heart ache as he yearned to give back the bracelet. Not yet.
“And now, my Son has a very important announcement to make,” the King said heartily. Sunghoon stepped forward as the crowd murmured in interest. It pulled Jungwon’s attention, too.
“Thank you, Father. Tonight, I want to carry on a legacy,” said Sunghoon, making Jungwon’s mind flash white with alarm. Legacy? The boys had been talking about it before, and Jay had said the King courted the person he liked.
Tonight, when thinking of Sunghoon, he had been magnetised to your hip half the time. Jungwon’s stomach twisted with erratic discomfort as his breath hitched.
The crowd burst into small conversations again.
Sunghoon smiled, eyes darting to yours again with such blistering resolution that your shoulders tightened into a painful knot. Your fingers tightened over your wrist.
“Thankfully, I know a very beautiful girl has come here tonight,” he said softly.
The crowd was beginning to grow louder, half excitement and half suspicion. Jungwon’s guts didn’t feel so good, and his fingers tightened over the sun bracelet.
Sunghoon took it as a sign and began to descend the stairs. Once reaching the ground, people parted automatically, hushed conversations following as Sunghoon made his way to you. Jungwon’s heart stopped as you stepped back once, intimidated, trying to disappear.
“And I wish for one thing, if she would give it to me,” Sunghoon continued, stopping right before you, eyes glittering with expectation.
You glanced at the crowd once, bewilderment gripping your chest. “Sunghoon—” you tried to whisper.
That went over his head because he wasn’t done. He got onto one knee, still smiling. The whole audience gasped audibly. You nearly jumped back in surprise, becoming ice, trying to piece something so obvious together.
Your friends nearly screamed. Jungwon nearly screamed, but he refrained from shouting in confusion.
Despite your clear alarm, Sunghoon held out a hand.
“I want to court you, Jeon Y/n. Would you accept?”
This was crazy. One part of yourself told you it was a simulation, and you were about to get slapped into reality. But then, you heard Riki over the commotion, saying, “Did I hear that right?”, and you knew it was absolutely real.
He was waiting. So many questions stormed through your head. Several scenarios of how this could end terribly made chaos among your thoughts. If you rejected Sunghoon, you would embarrass yourself and him. But how could you accept?
Sure, Sunghoon had been nothing but nice, offering parts of his charm to you in different hangouts, but this?
Courting? You? A non-princess? The girl from the tabloids?
Still having remnants of shock in the system, you looked around for a trusted adult. When you found your mother, she had the most beaming face ever. Everything opposite to your inner turmoil.
You looked elsewhere, but the unfamiliar faces closed in, and the pressure on your shoulders felt aggravating until each stare weighed a thousand boulders. You caved.
Your hand crept out, hesitantly landing atop his palm, and as soon as it did, Sunghoon stood with triumph sparkling through his smile. Applause and more murmurs among the crowd exploded throughout the royal yard, freezing you to the spot even more.
Sunghoon, in all his audacity, kissed your knuckles, head bent and everything. Despite all that, your whole body stayed frozen. None of his kisses melted you to react or to speak. You couldn’t. Because this was too surreal and too quick. The ground beneath you felt like it was gone within a second.
You had no idea if anyone saw it at all.
But Jungwon did.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱‧₊˚━━━━━━━━━━━━━
ִֶָ࣪☾. << M.LIST >> ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐
۶ৎ───[NOTES] : Okay so. I had the fattest writers block that I had to constantly proof-read it so that I could be satisfied. But, yeah. How did you guys find this chapter? Oh, I am so excited to write the future chapters and thank you for reading!!
It was after dinner when you and boyfriend!jungwon had a small argument where he told told you off.
While Jungwon never intended for his words to affect you the way it did, knowing that 1, he was right and 2, being the stubborn person you are, you didn't want to hold hands with him.
The walk to take you back home was silence, where you would try to keep a neutral face when he would try and lighten the mood. Even after apologising and asking if you was okay, tears threatened to fall so you nodded in response.
Soon, catching on, once you arrived at your house, he looked into your eyes, hugged you tight with both hands and kissed the top of your head.
"I love you, y/n"
When the words become hard to say and emotions are all over the place, you felt so lucky and thankful to have Jungwon by your side.
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m.list ✴︎ when you got with jungwon, the rest of the members came with him
bf!jungwon x fem!reader fluff slice-of-life 1.8k
When you said yes to being Jungwon’s girlfriend after months of late night talks, playful teasing, and stolen moments that made your heart race, you thought you were only getting one boyfriend.
Oh how wrong you were.
Nobody warned you that dating Jungwon, meant dating the rest of Enhypen. Just not romantically.
The moment you and Jungwon announced you were dating, the other six members decided you were their responsibility too.
heeseung —
Even before getting together with Jungwon, Heeseung had acted like an older protective brother. He always made sure you were eating well, taking breaks from studying, and no one was messing with you.
“Good morning, y/n.” you heard as you were walking into the kitchen, lifting your head and seeing Heeseung already eating ramyeon.
“Morning,” you mumbled sleepily.
Heeseung looked you up and down once before narrowing his eyes. “You just woke up?”
“Yeah?”
“What time did you sleep?”
You froze, already knowing you were going to get scolded. “Why?”
“y/n.” He said, his voice becoming serious.
“…three” you quietly said, but he still heard you.
“Yah, y/n you can’t be sleeping that late. You have class today, Jungwons not gonna like you sleeping so late and then going to class tired.” Heeseung sighed out.
You groaned and dropped your head onto the kitchen counter. “Then don’t tell him.” you said, your head now up. Heeseung reached over and lightly flicked your forehead. “He cares about you, even if I don’t tell him, he’ll find out.”
He stood up and walked to the fridge, grabbing two water bottles.
A moment later, he returned and placed it infront of you. “Here. Drink this and eat something before you go.”
“Yes dad.” you teased.
“Don’t call me that.”
You laughed as he shook his head.
From the hallway, a tired Jungwon suddenly appeared. “What’s going on?”
Heeseung pointed at you, “She slept at three.”
Jungwon jaw dropped, walking to you and hugging you from behind. “Babe, at three? What did I tell you.”
You got up quickly, and escaped his hug, “Okay, bye! I’m leaving!” you yelled, before they could start lecturing you more.
The last thing you heard was Heeseungs laughter, and Jungwon shouting your name.
jay —
Jay remembered everything about you. Your favorite dessert, your favorite drink, your favorite store. But that’s just how Jay had always been. He remembers everything about his members, it made sense that he remembers everything about his friends girlfriend.
You were hanging out in the dorm living room while the members were scattered around doing their own things. Jay had just come back from running errands and dropped a small shopping bag infront of you. “This is for you.”
You looked up from your phone confused, you never remembered asking him for anything. “Huh?”
Jay nodded towards the bag. “Open it.” Confused you opened it. Inside was a sweater, but not just any sweater.
It was a sweater you had been wanting for a while now. Your eyes widened.
“I saw you looking at it a couple weeks ago.”
“And you remembered?!” you asked, still in shock.
Jay looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You liked it.”
Before you could respond, Jake leaned over the couch, “That’s insane hyung.”
“Seriously,” Sunoo agreed, “I can’t even remember what I ate yesterday.”
“I do,” Jay replied.
Nobody was suprised.
You laughed, shaking your head. “You didn’t have to buy it for me Jay, but thank you!”
“Wow Jay hyung, you buy stuff for my girlfriend, but not me.” Jungwon dramatically said. Fake sulking.
“Oh please, he spends more on you than anyone babe.” you exposed.
jake —
Jake had been excited about your relationship before it had even officially started.
When he noticed Jungwon liked you, he became his biggest supporter.
He was the easiest to get close with. The moment he found out you liked legos, you became even closer.
“Oh! hey y/n, you’re here early.” Jake said from the couch when he heard you come in. “Yeah, Jungwon texted me he’s going to be 20 minutes late and to just come here.”
“Wanna build a new lego set with me?” he said, grinning, already knowing you were going to say yes.
“…Go get it.”
Ten minutes later, you were sitting on the floor with pieces spread out everywhere. “Pass me the blue one.” Jake handed you the piece.
“Thanks.”
When Jungwon came back, he didn’t expect to see you and Jake on the floor. “Um, what’s happening?”
“Oh wonie! you’re here!” you said, getting up from the floor and hugging him tightly. “Eww, go do that on your own time.” Jake said.
“Shut up.” you and Jungwon said at the same time.
“Oh wow just jump me then.”
“Back to my question though, what are you guys doing?” Jungwon asked.
“Oh Jake got a new set, and we decided to work on it while waiting for you.” you answered, still holding on to him.
“Want to join?” Jake asked, but by asking to join he actually meant just sitting down and watching you both.
sunghoon —
At first, it was awkward between you and Sunghoon. Not because of anything personal but because he was more quiet than the rest.
But he slowly became someone who was always there for you.
If Jungwon wasn’t at the dorms that day, and you wanted to go on a walk. Sunghoon would accompany you.
When you need advice, Sunghoon would be there.
It became a normal thing between you guys. He tried to act like he didn’t care by making up excuses.
Jungwon had practice running late and you were sitting down on the dorm couch feeling a little restless. You texted Jungwon. No reply.
You sighed and stood up. A couple of seconds later— “Where are you going?” a voice came from the kitchen. You looked over, seeing Sunghoon staring at you, “Just going to walk outside for a bit.”
He nodded like he didn’t care. “…It’s cold out.”
“I’ll be fine.” you replied.
He didn’t answer, just grabbed his jacket and put his shoes on. “I’m going out anyway.”
You raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t ask you to come.”
“I know.”
Another pause. “…I just need some fresh air.”
You tried not to smile, “Alright then, let’s go.”
sunoo —
Sunoo became your best friend immediately.
He was also very affectionate, the kind of affection where you forget you weren’t always friends.
The first time you realized it, you were sitting in the living room, wearing Jungwons hoodie while scrolling on tiktok.
Sunoo walked in, saw you and immediately lit up. “Y/n!”
Before you could even respond properly, he was already beside you on the couch. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, just waiting for Jungwon.” you said, putting down your phone.
“Perfect. Then you can help me.”
“With what?”
He held up his phone, “I need your opinion.”
By the time Jungwon came back from the store, you and Sunoo were sitting side by side on the couch.
“Which one looks better?” Sunoo asked, holding up two selfies.
You squinted, “Mmm, the left one.”
Sunoo gasped dramatically, “I knew it!”
Jungwon blinked, confused. “Why are you having a photoshoot review session?”
Sunoo didn’t even look at him, “She has better taste than you and everyone else.”
Ni-ki —
Ni-ki was like an annoying younger brother you never asked for.
The moment you walk into the dorm, he’s already there ready to annoy you.
You hadn’t even taken off your shoes properly when— “Why are you here again?” Ni-ki was already standing there, looking at you like you were intruding his personal space.
You blinked. “…To see Jungwon?”
He made a face, “Of course you are.”
You made a confused face, “??? Hello, why are you already trying to fight.”
“Oh you wanna fight.”
From then on he made it a routine to annoy you whenever he could.
When you would be hanging out with Jungwon, Ni-ki would appear behind you.
“Ugh y/n be quiet.” mind you, you weren’t even talking.
“Ni-ki, don’t even try me right now.”
Jungwon just sighed, not wanting to deal with you guys fighting.
That night, the dorm was finally silent.
No chaos. No yelling. No teasing.
Just the soft hum of the TV in the background and the occasional sound of footsteps down the hall.
You were sitting up on the bed, your back on the headboard, curled up under a blanket when Jungwon finally dropped down beside you with a tired sigh. “Long day?” you asked. He nodded, leaning his head against your shoulder. “Ni-ki almost broke my patience today.”
You let out a small laugh. “That sounds about right.” Jungwon lifted his head up to look at you properly. Like he was taking a moment to just see you.
“You’re always here,” he said softly.
“I mean yeah, where else would I be?” you replied. He smiled a little at that, then shifted closer, slipping his hand into yours.
For a moment, it was quiet again. Comfortable.
Then Jungwon spoke again, quieter this time. “You know…” he started, thumb lightly tracking over your knuckles, “I like how they take care of you in their own way.”
You tilted your head slightly. “Even Ni-ki? He literally bullies me 24/7.”
Jungwon let out a soft laugh. “Yeah. Even him.” He squeezed your hand gently. “Even though he bullies you, he still cares for you.”
You looked at him, and he looked back—calm, sincere.
“They like you,” he continued. “Heeseung checks up on you like you’re his responsibility. Jay remembers everything about you. Jake drags you into whatever he’s doing. Sunghoon pretends he doesn’t care but is always there. Sunoo follows you around like you’re going to disappear. And Ni-ki…” he paused, smiling a little, “acts like he’s annoyed by your presence but is always the first one to defend you.”
His expression softened again as he leaned his shoulder gently against yours. “I like it.” he added. “It means I don’t have to worry as much when i’m not there.”
That made you go quiet for a second. “…You worry too much.” you mumbled.
Jungwon hummed. “It’s kind of my job.”
“It’s not.”
“It is if you’re mine.”
Your face warmed slightly at that, and turned your head away to hide it.
Jungwon noticed anyway. He noticed everything about you.
He smiled, satisfied, and pulled your hand a little closer.
Outside the room, faint laughter echoed from the hallway—probably Ni-ki arguing with someone again.
But inside, it was just you and Jungwon.
Jungwon leaned his head lightly against yours. “…I’m lucky,” he murmured. You glanced at him. “For what?”
“For you,” he said simply. Then after a pause, he added softer—“And for them caring of you too.” You didn’t reply right away. You just squeezed his hand back.
jungwon’s body laid sprawled across the coffee table in front of him, an empty cup sat beside him, and his mind barely sober. the incoherent babbles pushing past his lips were something neither of his friends paid attention to, both jay and sunghoon being more focused on finding your contact name in jungwon’s phone.
you picked up after the first ring. “jungwon?” your voice came through, a hint of worry carried with it. “is everything okay?” you pressed further, unaware of the two who exchanged a short glance to one another at your inquiry.
“hello? this is sunghoon.” sunghoon clarified with an awkward pause. “don’t get mad at us.” jay interjected from beside, his voice attracting jungwon’s attention whose head jerked up in interest. sunghoon hushed him.
“what happened? where is jungwon?”
“jungwon is drunk.” sunghoon admitted. “we were playing a game and he kept losing—”
“he’s seriously terrible, please let him know.” jay interrupted once more. sunghoon nudged him away from the phone, opting to bring the device up to his ear instead. “jungwon is drunk. like, really drunk. and he keeps whining about missing you.” sunghoon sighed, twisting his head to take in the sight of his friend—his head resting on top of his crossed arms with his lips jutted out, his cheeks puffed pink and hair poking in different directions.
from where he stood, sunghoon could see the way his eyes blinked sluggishly in an attempt to keep himself awake.
"give him the phone." you said, sounding far more awake and alert than you were just moments before. sunghoon didn't need to be instructed twice as his feet were already moving in the direction of the coffee table. he shook the younger boy awake. "jungwon."
jungwon groaned and burried his head in the crook of his folded arms. “leave me alone” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“your girlfriend’s on the phone.”
the speed at which jungwon shot up was downright comical. his eyes went wide in disbelief, frozen like a deer caught in headlights as his gaze locked onto the phone in sunghoon’s hand. “my girlfriend?” he echoed, his voice suddenly clear and devoid of any trace of slurring. sunghoon wordlessly passed him the phone, turning to jay before dragging the two of them out the room.
“jungwon?”
“baby.” jungwon sighed out, his whole body melting at the simple sound of your voice reaching his ears through the phone. “i miss you.” jungwon thought out loud, a warm smile forming on his face, mirroring the exact feeling burning through his body.
your chuckle carried through the line, prompting jungwon to smiling further. “i told you not to drink more than three glasses, baby.” you lightly scolded him. the remark made him let out a breathy laugh, his heart swelling as he pictured your usual disapproving frown he grew to love.
“it’s because of jay and sunghoon.” he reasoned in a whine.
you sighed softly, though there was no hint of irritation in it—nothing that suggested his presence was unwelcome or that you didn’t care about how he was doing. “you’re okay right?” you asked him gently.
jungwon nodded instinctively, despite knowing you couldn’t see him. “i’m okay now that i’m talking to you.” he admitted. his gaze drifted to the ceiling, only for him to wince and mutter a curse at the harsh brightness casting down. “i wish you were here right now.”
“i’m this close to leaving the house and running straight to yours.” he mumbled.
“if you do that i’ll be really mad.”
“you’re never really mad at me anyways.”
“i’m mad at you now.” you challenged him.
“mhm.” jungwon hummed. “sure, baby.”
you giggled before continuing to speak through the phone with your smile remaining. “for someone who’s supposed to be drunk, you got a lot to say.”
jungwon took a moment to let your words process before responding. “hearing your voice sobered me up a little.” he confessed, his tone noticeably smaller. “i haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all night.”
the unexpected confession rendered you momentarily speechless. and with the softness his voice carried, jungwon broke the silence once more. “i love you.”
“...suddenly?”
“it’s not sudden. i mean it—i love you,” jungwon insisted, emphasising every word. had he been there to witness, jungwon would’ve caught the shy smile spreading across your face, one you didn’t try to bite back in the confined space of your room.
“i love you too jungwon.” you returned.
“i love you more than you could ever love me.” jungwon one-upped you.
“that can’t be possible because i’ve loved you way before you’ve loved me.” you stated back.
“well i love you so much that i don’t need anyone else in my life.” jungwon declared.
the bold claim piqued your attention. “so you’d cut jay and sunghoon off if i asked?” you teased. part of you expected him to backtrack and admit he was just rambling whatever came to mind, while another part secretly hoped he’d stand by his words.
“i’d do anything for you.” jungwon replied, no hesitation found.
the tenderness in which he spoke—so sincere and personal—caught you completely off guard, even though a part of you had braced for him potentially sticking to his words. still, nothing you imagined compared to the impact of what he truly said, his words leaving you unable to respond back.
your lips ached from how hard you were biting them in attempts to withhold your grin. “you’re making me smile, jungwon. make sure you don’t drink anything else and have some water before you go to sleep, okay? i love you,” you reminded him. your heart was pounded unevenly at the thought of the boy on the other end of the call, who likely wouldn’t even remember half of what he’d said just a minute ago.
“okay, i will. just for you. i love you, i wish i was there right now to show you how much i love you but i will wait until i’m not out of my mind. i can’t wait to hug you and kiss you and just see you.” jungwon continued to ramble, his words never ending as new ideas formed the longer he thought of you.
“that sounds like a promise.” you laughed. “goodnight jungwon.”
Synopsis: Y/n has spent her entire life orbiting her radiant best friend, Yeonseo—content to be “Yeonseo’s friend” and nothing more. When Yeonseo starts dating Jungwon, a quietly observant basketball player, Y/n is pulled into their shared circle and discovers, for the first time, what it feels like to be seen for herself. As Jungwon and Yeonseo’s relationship fractures over mismatched ideas of love, Y/n’s bond with Jungwon deepens into something dangerous: secret feelings, a stolen kiss, and a web of half truths meant to protect everyone that instead end up hurting them all.
“I can’t pretend anymore.”
That sentence had been looping in my head so long it no longer sounded like words. It was just a pressure behind my eyes as I stood in the middle of the crowded hallway, pressed up against a line of lockers like I could disappear into the metal.
Ahead of me, the hall seemed to curve around a center that wasn’t me.
I watched Yeonseo laugh at something Jungwon said, her head tipping back, ponytail swishing. Her laugh carried above the general noise—that kind of easy, bright sound people turned toward without meaning to. Around them, the flow of students split and reformed as if they were a rock in a river: classmates, teammates, random kids from other grades who didn’t know them but knew of them.
I hugged my books tighter and looked away.
I was used to being on the outside of circles like that. It had always been that way: me at the edge, watching her in the middle. I’d been in Yeonseo’s shadow for as long as I could remember. It never used to bother me. If anything, her brightness shielded me. I could follow a few steps behind, walk in the outline of her shape, and quietly exist. I told myself that was enough.
Lately, though, the space between us felt less like a shadow and more like an actual gap—one that kept stretching, day by day.
“Y/n!”
My name pulled me back. I glanced up.
Yeonseo was waving me over, eyes warm, face still flushed from laughing. She stood with one hand on her hip, the other in the air like a tiny sun I’d been invited into. Beside her, Jungwon leaned against the lockers, tall and relaxed, his basketball bag slung over one shoulder.
“There you are,” she said when I reached them, like I’d been missing for hours instead of minutes. “You always vanish between classes. We should just tie a string around you or something so I don’t lose you.”
I managed a small smile. “I don’t think that’s allowed. Pretty sure the school handbook says no human leashes.”
She laughed and, in one smooth motion, slipped her arm through mine and pulled me closer. I could feel a faint sheen of sweat on her skin from rushing between periods. She smelled like citrus shampoo and the cafeteria’s over‑buttered toast.
“You remember Jungwon, right?” she asked.
Jungwon nodded politely. “Hey.” His voice was lower than I remembered from the times I’d heard him shouting on the court.
“Hi,” I murmured, my voice coming out softer than I intended.
I remembered him, of course. We’d been in the same year for a while, and I’d seen him around—mostly on the basketball court, or surrounded by teammates, or asleep on his desk before homeroom. He’d been around our classroom more often recently. At first, I thought it was just because there was a practice room nearby or because he had some project with another classmate.
Then I realized: Yeonseo was dating him now.
The athlete everyone liked. The one people stopped to watch when he played; the one girls whispered about in the bathroom mirror, trading rumors about his last game or who he might like.
I didn’t know what to do with that.
Over the next few weeks, school began to feel like one long, empty stretch of time with a few bright interruptions I wasn’t sure I belonged in.
When the final bell rang, I walked home alone more often than not. It wasn’t that Yeonseo had suddenly abandoned me. Sometimes she had committee meetings or practice. Sometimes she wanted to stay behind and talk with her new friends. Sometimes she and Jungwon left together, shoulders brushing as they disappeared down the hallway.
In our group chats, the familiar back‑and‑forth that used to be just the two of us was now layered with names I didn’t recognize and inside jokes I hadn’t been present for. Messages scrolled by faster, full of stickers and emojis and references to places I hadn’t gone, conversations I hadn’t heard.
I told myself it was fine. People grow. People date. People get busier. I was just being childish.
But one afternoon, as we sat on a bench under the cherry trees behind the gym, petals gathering in the folds of my skirt, even Yeonseo seemed to notice.
“You’ve been weird lately,” she said.
She was peeling the label off her bottle of orange juice, edges of paper piling in her hand. Her brows had that tiny pinched line they got whenever she was thinking too hard about something.
“Did I do something?” she asked.
A breeze pushed a strand of hair into my face. I tucked it behind my ear, staring at the cracks in the pavement. There was a loose thread on my skirt hem, and I picked at it like I could pull my restlessness all the way out through that single thread.
“No,” I said. “I’m fine.”
She frowned. “That’s exactly what people say when they’re not fine.” She straightened up, turning fully toward me, knee bumping mine. “Seriously. Tell me. I can’t fix something if I don’t know it’s broken.”
The words sat in my throat, heavy and jagged. I didn’t want to sound clingy or pathetic. I didn’t want to sound like I couldn’t survive without her.
But pretending hurt more.
“I just…” I stared at the ground until the shapes blurred. “I miss you.”
She blinked. “You see me every day.”
“Yeah, but not really.” I swallowed. My voice felt too big for my mouth. “You’re always with other people now. With him. With his friends. I know that makes me sound selfish, but I don’t know how to…fit anywhere else.”
For a moment, neither of us spoke. I could hear shouts from the gym behind us, the thud of balls, and a whistle blowing. A petal landed on the toe of my shoe and trembled there.
Then I felt her hand cover mine.
“Y/n,” she said softly. “Why didn’t you just say so?”
“Because it’s stupid.” I huffed out a laugh that didn’t sound like one.
“It’s not,” she said, squeezing my fingers. “I don’t want you to feel left out. Actually, I was thinking about this. I could introduce you to my other friends properly. To Jungwon’s friends. You always just stand at the edge like you’re about to run away.”
“That’s because I am about to run away,” I muttered.
She laughed, bumping her shoulder against mine. “You won’t have to if they’re your friends too. Let’s fix this, okay? I don’t want you to feel lonely.”
Her certainty settled into me like warmth I wasn’t sure I deserved.
Being introduced to Jungwon’s friend group felt like being placed in the middle of a circle I hadn’t asked to stand in.
“This is Y/n,” Yeonseo said at lunch one day, her voice bright. “My best friend since forever.”
We were at one of the bigger tables in the cafeteria. Trays crowded the surface: half‑eaten rice, bowls of soup, the inevitable pile of kimchi on someone’s tray that they never touched. Sunlight from the high windows pooled on the scratched plastic.
A few of the boys nodded. One of them, I remembered vaguely from seeing him on the court, grinned and jerked his chin at the empty space. “Sit.”
I slipped into the seat beside Yeonseo, directly across from Jungwon. Up close, without the stage of the court between us, he seemed strangely normal—tired eyes, slightly messy hair, a faint red line on his arm where a ball had probably smacked him.
He didn’t talk much at first. Neither did I.
Around us, loud voices overlapped—arguments over which teacher was the worst, jokes only they understood, someone complaining about extra laps in practice. Every now and then, one of the guys would nudge another and say, “Hey, pass the kimchi, idiot,” and they’d start mock arguing again.
I listened. I nodded when it felt appropriate. I answered questions when someone asked me directly: what class I was in, whether I liked this teacher, whether I watched their games. I was quiet, but they didn’t push.
It surprised me how, little by little, the typical silence between me and Jungwon stopped feeling as heavy.
He’d ask how my classes went. I’d ask about his upcoming games. Sometimes he’d complain about his coach; sometimes I’d complain about group projects where I ended up doing everything.
And sometimes, after school, the three of us would go to a café or the convenience store by the bus stop or just wander aimlessly until we reached someone’s neighborhood. It always started with “I’ll walk with you,” and ended with, “Oh, I guess I kept going,” until our routes split and we realized how far we’d gone without noticing.
“You don’t talk much, do you?” he said once as we walked home, plastic bags swinging at our sides. Yeonseo was a few steps ahead on a phone call, gesturing wildly as she talked.
I glanced at him, suddenly nervous. “Is that…bad?”
He shook his head. “Nah. It’s just different. Everyone around here shouts over each other. It’s kind of nice that you don’t.”
I wasn’t sure what to do with that, so I just smiled faintly and looked back at the road.
One evening, a message from Jungwon popped up on my phone.
Jungwon: hey, do you have a sec?
Me: yeah?
Jungwon: i want to do something for yeonseo’s birthday
Jungwon: like a surprise
Jungwon: but i’m bad at that kinda stuff lol
Jungwon: can you help??
My stomach tightened with nerves, but my fingers were steadier than my heartbeat.
Me: sure. what were you thinking?
We ended up meeting at a small bakery near the station to plan. The place smelled like warm bread and sugar. The display case glowed with rows of cakes and tarts. Watching him agonize over which cake flavor she’d like best made me realize how much I knew about her.
“She doesn’t like overly sweet things,” I said automatically. “Strawberry shortcake is safe. But if there’s too much cream, she’ll scrape some off. So this one.” I pointed.
“Right,” he said, nodding like I’d given him secret intel. “You’d know better than me.”
Hearing that should have made me feel secure, like I had a permanent, irreplaceable place in her life. Instead, something jittery moved under my ribs.
We bought decorations from the discount store down the street, argued over which playlist she’d like, reserved a table at her favorite restaurant, and spent hours texting her other friends to coordinate who would arrive first.
Somewhere between carrying bags of streamers and choosing between two nearly identical gift bags, I found myself talking.
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t know who I am without her,” I admitted as we walked to the bus stop, arms full of party supplies. The plastic bags bit faintly into my fingers. “We’ve always just…been together. People know me as ‘Yeonseo’s friend.’ Not as…anything on my own.”
He glanced at me, his expression softer than usual. “Is that why you were upset before?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged, my shoulders curling in. “It’s not her fault. I just don’t know how to be any other way.”
He hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being close to someone. Or depending on them sometimes. But…it would suck if you thought you were nothing without them.”
“I don’t think I’m nothing,” I said quickly, then faltered. “I just don’t know who I am outside of ‘with her.’”
He didn’t push. His words stuck with me the rest of the night, even as we messaged back and forth about candle colors.
When the surprise finally unfolded—lights flicking on as Yeonseo walked into the decorated room, everyone shouting “Happy birthday!”—her eyes went wide, then wet. The room was a blur of balloons, laughter, and the smell of food.
“Did you do all this?” she asked later, pulling me aside, her voice thick.
“Jungwon did,” I said. “I just helped.”
She hugged me so suddenly I almost dropped the cup in my hand.
“I don’t deserve you,” she murmured into my shoulder.
I didn’t know then how much I’d cling to those words later, turning them over and over like a charm I’d eventually crack.
After most people had gone home, Jungwon found me outside, leaning against the railing. The night was cool; the music inside was muffled by the door.
“Hey,” he said. “Thank you. Really. I couldn’t have done that alone.”
“It was nothing,” I said automatically
“It wasn’t.” He studied me for a long moment, as if trying to see past my shrug. “You always know what she needs.”
I looked down at my shoes. “I grew up learning it.”
He smiled a little. “You did good today, Y/n.”
Something warm flickered in my chest, small but insistent.
The three of us were closer after that. At least, that’s how it looked from the outside.
We ate lunch together almost every day. We shared stupid memes in a group chat, the notifications lighting up my screen late into the night. I watched as people teased Yeonseo and Jungwon for being “disgustingly cute” and rolled my eyes when she pretended to be offended but leaned into his side anyway.
One afternoon, while we were eating in the courtyard, a girl from another class leaned over from the next table.
“Yeonseo,” she said, smirking, “how’s it going with your boyfriend?”
“Do you love him?” someone else asked, half‑teasing, half‑serious.
She hesitated—just long enough that even I noticed.
“I…maybe?” she said finally. “I really like him. A lot.”
The table erupted.
“Whoa, love!”
“Already?”
“Have you guys kissed yet?”
Yeonseo flushed, pressing her palm to her cheek. “That’s private.”
“C’mon, just tell us!” someone whined.
She peeked at Jungwon, who scratched his cheek, looking vaguely embarrassed but not exactly protesting. Then she sighed.
“Fine. We kissed before we even started dating,” she admitted.
That set off a whole new round of squealing.
They demanded details. Yeonseo gave in, telling them about the day she and Jungwon ran into each other at a festival game booth—how he’d helped her win a stuffed toy because the stall owner was clearly cheating her, how they’d ended up walking around together after that, how, after moments of private feelings, one thing had led to another at the edge of the fireworks crowd.
As she described the moment—how nervous she’d been, how he’d leaned in, how their friends had yelled in the background—I felt everything slow down around me.
In my head, I rewound the memory I didn’t have.
I imagined standing where she had been, feeling his breath ghost over my lips, hearing the noise around us fade. I imagined being the one he looked at that way.
And then I hated myself for it.
A few days later, Yeonseo stayed late after school to help decorate for an upcoming event.
“Go ahead without me,” she told us, wiping her hands on a roll of tape, streaks of marker on her fingers. “I’ll be here forever if I don’t finish this.”
“You sure?” Jungwon asked, lingering near the doorway.
“Yeah. You two can walk home together.” She winked. “Keep each other company. Make sure Y/n doesn’t get lost in her thoughts.”
Her joke lodged in my throat like a stone.
As we left the school gates, the evening light was soft and gold. Our footsteps echoed in sync on the pavement. Usually, if it was just the two of us, either one of us filled the silence quickly with small talk. That day, the quiet stretched, taut and humming.
I thought about that first kiss she’d described, wondering if I would’ve had a chance with him if I’d been braver the day we first met—if I’d talked more, smiled more, been more like her.
“Should I be worried?” he asked suddenly.
I blinked. “About what?”
“You’ve been quiet,” he said. “Quieter than usual.”
“I’m always quiet,” I deflected.
“Yeah, but this feels like a different quiet.” His tone was light, but his eyes were searching my face.
“I was just thinking,” I lied. “About exams.”
He studied me for a second longer, then nodded. “Makes sense. They’re coming up fast.” He didn’t push. I was grateful—and annoyed at myself for wishing he would.
Still, that night, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, all I could think about was him. The way he listened when I spoke. The way he remembered small details I’d mentioned once. The way my chest tightened uncomfortably whenever he smiled at me.
Guilt pooled in my stomach like lead.
I knew it was wrong. He was my best friend’s boyfriend. There were rules—unspoken but understood. I’d always believed I would never be that kind of person.
And yet, whenever I tried to remind myself of that, my mind slipped back into daydreams where he looked at me like I mattered the way she did.
When Jungwon’s big basketball game rolled around, the gym buzzed with noise. Banners waved from the bleachers, sneakers squeaked on the polished floor, whistles shrilled every few seconds. The air smelled like sweat, floor polish, and the faint tang of the cheap snacks they sold at the entrance.
I stood near the back of the bleachers, clutching a plastic bottle of water and scanning the crowd for a familiar ponytail.
Yeonseo wasn’t there.
She hadn’t wanted to come.
Earlier that day, her voice had cracked when she told me why.
“I told him I loved him,” she said, perched on the edge of my bed, twisting the hem of my pillowcase. “And he just…couldn’t say it back. He said he still wanted to date, but he wasn’t sure yet. Like love is some exam he hasn’t studied for.”
I’d struggled for words. Part of me ached for her—for how brave she’d been, for how hard it must’ve been to hear that. Another part of me felt an ugly, invisible relief I couldn’t admit to anyone.
“That’s not…wrong of him,” I said slowly. “It’s honest. You can’t make someone feel something before they’re ready.”
Her eyes flashed. “You’re taking his side?”
“I’m not. I just—”
“You are,” she snapped, standing up so quickly the bed creaked. “You always think I’m the one overreacting. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Later, she texted that she wasn’t going to the game. I can’t cheer for someone who made me feel that stupid, she’d added, then unsent it.
So I went alone.
When the final whistle blew and the team huddled in the center of the court, Jungwon’s eyes scanned the crowd. For a second, I could see the hope on his face—searching for someone who wasn’t there.
When he saw me, his shoulders relaxed, but there was a flicker of something else too: resignation.
He jogged over, still catching his breath, his hair damp with sweat.
“Where’s Yeonseo?” he panted.
“She…” I hesitated. “She didn’t want to be around either of us. I told her I understood where you were coming from.”
His expression shifted, a quick flash of disappointment and guilt. “Figures,” he muttered.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, though I wasn’t sure who I was apologizing for.
He shook his head, forcing a small smile. “Not your fault. Thanks for coming, though. Want to grab food? My treat. As a thank‑you for cheering.”
I knew I should have said no—for her, for me, for the thin line we were already walking.
But I was tired of being guided only by what I should do.
“Okay,” I said.
The restaurant was mostly empty: humming fluorescent lights, the faint echo of the TV playing some variety show in the corner. We sat in a worn red booth, steam rising from bowls of noodles between us.
“She’s really upset, huh,” he said, prodding his food.
“She feels…rejected,” I said. “Like she was risking everything by saying it, and she wanted you to jump with her. When you didn’t, it felt like she jumped alone.”
He sighed, chopsticks stilling. “I know. I just…can’t fake something like that. I tried to explain, but it came out wrong. It always does.”
“Have you ever been in love before?” I asked before I could stop myself.
He looked up, startled, then nodded slowly.
“Yeah. I have,” he said. “With my ex. She was my first love. We thought we could handle the distance when she transferred, but it fell apart. I tried so hard to keep it together. It still ended anyway.”
He stared at his soup like it might give him a different answer.
“After that, I didn’t know what love was supposed to look like anymore. Or if I even wanted it,” he continued. “With Yeonseo…it’s not that I don’t care. I like being with her. She’s fun and warm and everyone likes her. But when she said she loved me, I felt like I was back there again—about to promise something I didn’t fully understand. I don’t want to hurt her like that.”
“You’re not a bad person for being careful,” I said quietly.
He studied my face, searching for judgment and finding none.
“You always say the right thing,” he said.
“I don’t think she’d agree with that.”
“Maybe not,” he conceded, “but I do.”
On the way home, he walked me to my door even though it meant doubling back from his usual route. The street was still damp from an earlier drizzle; the pavement glistened under the streetlights.
“Can you not tell her everything I said?” he asked, stopping just short of my gate. “About my ex and all.”
“I won’t,” I said. “It’s your story.”
He nodded, looking oddly relieved. “Thanks. And…thanks for tonight. You made it easier to breathe.”
He left before I could answer.
The next day, Yeonseo cornered me by my locker, her eyes still slightly swollen from crying.
“I went to see him last night,” she said.
My heart sped up. We hadn’t talked much since the argument.
“We talked,” she continued. “I apologized. I realized I was kind of…forcing something. We’re still young. Maybe I don’t even know what love is yet.” She tried to smile. “All I know is that I like being with him. I don’t want to lose that because I’m impatient.”
“Did he forgive you?” I asked.
She nodded. “He said he’s been hurt before because of love, but he didn’t say much about that. Just that being with me reminds him he deserves to be loved. He wants to make me happy.”
Her voice wobbled. “Still…it feels a little different now. Like there’s a crack we’re both ignoring. But I’m scared that if I keep pushing, it’ll break completely.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. How could I tell her that from the outside, I could see both of their fears like a thin film neither of them could quite peel away?
Later, as we walked home together with Jungwon, I watched them from the corner of my eye. On the surface, they looked the same—teasing, bumping shoulders, stealing glances. But I could see the stiffness in Yeonseo’s smile, the way Jungwon’s laugh didn’t reach his eyes.
When we reached her house, she waved and left us at the corner.
“I’m glad you guys made up,” I told him as we continued down the street.
He frowned faintly. “Is she really okay? It didn’t feel like she was.”
“She’s…trying,” I said. “But she wasn’t satisfied with your answer.”
“I figured.” He sighed. “Sometimes I wish she could be more like you.”
“Like me?”
“Yeah. You understand that I’m still figuring things out. You don’t make me feel like I’m failing some test.”
“She just wants to be loved,” I said quietly. “She feels like she has everything else. She doesn’t see why she shouldn’t.”
“And what if I can’t give her that?” he asked.
“Then it’s not fair to either of you,” I said.
He fell quiet until we reached my house.
“Do you think I’m a bad person?” he asked suddenly.
I shook my head. “No. I think you’re just scared. And that you don’t want to repeat your past.”
He looked strangely moved. “I’m surprised you can still be this kind to me. I’m not exactly being fair to your best friend.”
“I care about her,” I said. “But I care about you too. You’re my friend now. I don’t want to choose between you.”
He let out a soft huff, something like a laugh. “You have a big heart, you know that?”
No one had ever told me that before. I wasn’t sure I believed it.
Weeks later, the inevitable happened.
“We broke up,” Yeonseo said one afternoon, her voice flat like all the emotion had drained out and left only the outline.
We were sitting on the swings at the park where we used to go as kids. The chains squeaked every time we shifted our weight. Little kids ran across the sand, their shouts carrying easily in the late afternoon air.
“He said we were both being selfish,” she continued. “That there was no point in pretending. I was willing to wait for him, but he said that would only burden him. That I deserved someone ready to love me now.” She scoffed. “He also said he couldn’t risk getting his heart broken again. As if I was about to stomp on it.”
I thought of how tense he’d been each time the word love came up, how careful he was not to step on what he couldn’t yet name. I didn’t know if he was wrong or right. I only knew that whatever line they’d been tiptoeing along had finally snapped.
“What did you say?” I asked quietly.
She dug the toe of her shoe into the dirt. “I told him he was a coward. That he wasn’t even giving us a chance. I said I wished I’d never tried so hard.”
The words hung between us, heavy.
Later that day, I got a message from him.
Jungwon: can we talk?
We met at the park, under the same tree where we’d once waited for Yeonseo to finish buying snacks.
“I told her it was for her sake,” he said, staring at the ground. “That she deserved better. But…honestly, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. Everyone expecting us to be this perfect couple. Her expecting me to catch up to her feelings. Every time we hung out, I could feel how much she loved me, and I felt like a villain.”
He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. “I broke up because I was overwhelmed. That’s the truth. Not because I was being noble.”
“You were still brave,” I said. “You chose what you could handle instead of lying and dragging it out. That doesn’t make you good or bad. Just honest.”
“Yeah, and now she hates me. And you’ll probably have to stop talking to me too, since she needs someone on her side.”
“No,” I said quickly. “You’re both my friends.”
He shook his head. “You can’t have it both ways forever.”
I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to believe that if I tried hard enough, I could hold everything together—her, him, myself.
I didn’t understand yet that trying to hold everything sometimes meant crushing it in your hands.
We started meeting more often after that.
At first, it was accidental run‑ins—at the riverbank, near the convenience store, on the walk home when our routes just happened to overlap.
Then it became…less accidental.
“Yeonseo knows we’re hanging out, right?” he asked me one evening as the sky turned orange over the water.
“Yes,” I lied. “She doesn’t mind.”
In reality, I’d barely mentioned him. The breakup sat like a sore spot I was afraid to bump.
“She doesn’t think it’s weird?” he pressed.
“She’s…okay with it,” I said, the lie scraping my tongue on the way out. “We’re all just friends.”
He sighed in obvious relief. “I wish we could all hang out together again,” he said. “But I guess that’s not happening.”
“Do you still have feelings for her?” I asked.
He thought for a long moment. “I’m not sure. I think about her sometimes. She made me laugh a lot. It hurts when she walks past me like I’m no one. But when I imagine getting back together, I just feel…tired.”
Something in my chest twisted.
“I’m scared that would happen to me,” I said before I could stop myself.
“To you?”
“If she ever stopped being my friend,” I said, eyes on the river. “I don’t think anyone would miss me like that. I’m not…special like she is.”
He turned fully toward me.
“That’s not true,” he said firmly.
I shrugged, trying to make it a joke. “It’s fine. I’m used to being the background character.”
“Y/n.” His voice was gentler than I’d ever heard it. “You’re not anyone’s background.”
I swallowed.
“You helped me when I couldn’t even understand myself,” he said. “You’ve been there when I felt like I was the worst person alive. You see things other people don’t. And you don’t do it to get attention. You just…see. That’s special.”
I felt my throat close up.
“I didn’t know who I was without her either,” I admitted quietly. “But with you, I started to feel…like I could be a person on my own. Not just her shadow.”
He smiled, soft and a little sad. “I’m glad. There was never anything pathetic about you, you know. So what if you’re quiet? That just makes getting to know you feel like a privilege.”
Something inside me cracked open then.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
We sat in silence for a while, the air between us warm and buzzing with something I was too scared to name.
Then, without warning, he leaned in and kissed me.
I froze. My mind went utterly blank, like someone had wiped the slate clean. His lips were soft and hesitant, tasting faintly of the soda we’d shared earlier. For a heartbeat, my world shrank to just that feeling—the surprising rightness of it, the dizziness of being wanted.
When he pulled back, his eyes were wide with the same shock I felt.
“I—I’m sorry,” he stammered. “Is that…okay?”
My heart was pounding so loudly I almost couldn’t hear my own voice.
“Yes,” I breathed. “But…why?”
He exhaled shakily. “I just…followed my heart. Like you told me to.”
The worst part was, I knew exactly which conversation he meant. Months ago, when he’d agonized over whether to keep dating Yeonseo despite his fears, I’d said the words like some kind of advice: You have to follow your heart. Otherwise you’ll always wonder.
He kissed me again, and this time, I let myself respond.
For a moment, there was no Yeonseo. No rules. No guilt.
Just us.
Guilt returned quickly.
It started as a cold spot beneath my ribs, then spread into a steady ache I couldn’t ignore.
A few days later, he asked to see me again.
We met at the river, in the same place we’d kissed. The water looked exactly the same. I didn’t.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he said, staring at the ground. “It was the heat of the moment. I don’t want to hurt you. Or Yeonseo.”
The words stung, even though a part of me had been expecting something like them.
“It’s okay,” I said, forcing a little laugh that scraped my throat. “We can just…pretend it never happened.”
“I like being your friend,” he said earnestly. “I don’t want to destroy that. Friends mean more to me than…than whatever that was, if it’s just going to blow everything up.”
“Me too,” I lied.
A classmate biked past us then, slowing down.
“Hey, Jungwon. Y/n,” she said, eyeing us curiously. “What are you two doing?”
“We’re just hanging out,” he said easily, the practiced nonchalance making the lie feel bigger.
She nodded slowly, then pedaled away.
Something cold settled in my stomach.
People were watching.
People would talk.
I realized then: no matter how careful we were, there was no version of this where no one got hurt. We could pretend the kiss meant nothing, but we couldn’t un‑mean it.
The next day at school, the same classmate approached me near the lockers.
“So…what were you doing with Jungwon yesterday?” she asked, her tone light but probing.
“He was asking about Yeonseo,” I said quickly. The lie slid out so smoothly it scared me. “He still cares about her, you know.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Does he want to get back together?”
“I don’t know,” I lied again. “Maybe he still has feelings for her. I was going to talk to her about it after school.”
That afternoon, as I walked home with Yeonseo, my pulse thudded in my ears.
“Have you talked to him since the breakup?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
She shook her head. “No. Why would I?”
“I ran into him by the river,” I said. “He…asked me about you. Said he misses spending time with us. The three of us.”
Her steps faltered.
“He asked you that?” she said.
“Yeah,” I said, staring straight ahead. “I told him it wouldn’t be a good idea. That it would just drag things out for you.”
She scoffed. “It’s strange,” she muttered. “The only reason we hung out was because I was dating him. Now that we’re not, there’s no point in us all being friends. That’s what you told him, right?”
“Yes,” I said, my voice small.
“Good,” she said curtly. “If he has something to say to me, he can say it to my face. I don’t need you to be the messenger.”
My chest burned.
That night, I went to the river alone and found him already there, sitting on the low wall and tossing pebbles into the water.
“Hey,” he said, looking up in surprise. “We keep running into each other here.”
I sat beside him and told him about the nosy classmate, about what I’d said.
“They don’t know we kissed,” he said. “So it’s fine.”
“Do you regret it?” I asked, the question like a splinter I couldn’t stop poking.
He stared at the water for a long moment.
“No,” he said finally. “I don’t regret feeling what I felt. But I know it’s not…right.”
“Why isn’t it right if you followed your heart?” I asked, frustration threading through my voice. “You tell me that’s what I should do, too.”
He sighed. “I followed my heart with my ex. It still ended, and I felt stupid. I followed it with Yeonseo. We both got hurt. Following my heart doesn’t mean I get to be selfish.”
“Do you have feelings for me?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.
He froze.
After a long pause, he said softly, “Maybe I do. But I can’t act on them. You’re her best friend. It would make everything worse. For you. For her. For me.”
Something inside me crumpled.
I thought about telling him the whole truth—that I’d fallen for him quietly, piece by piece. That every kind word and shared secret had stitched him into my ribs. That the kiss had only confirmed what I’d been too afraid to admit.
But if I did, what then? Would he think I’d only been there for him because I liked him? Would he pull away completely to protect me, or himself, or her?
“I get it,” I said instead. “You’re right.”
I hated myself for agreeing. I hated that I’d pushed him to follow his heart only to flinch when it led him to me.
When I got home, Yeonseo was sitting on my bed.
“Your mom let me in. I’ve been looking for you,” she said. “Where were you?”
“Just walking,” I said, heart racing. “By myself.”
Her eyes searched my face, catching on things I hadn’t hidden well enough.
“Is something wrong?” she asked. “We barely hang out these days.”
“I’m okay,” I said. “I just…don’t feel as lonely when I’m by myself anymore.”
Her brows knit. “Why?”
“Because I’ve made more friends,” I said. “At school.”
“My friends?” she asked slowly. “You barely talk to them when I’m not around.”
I bristled. Shame and defensiveness tangled in my chest.
“What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I just…never see you with anyone else. That’s all.”
“Do you think I’m incapable of making friends?” I snapped before I could stop myself. “Do you honestly think I’m that pathetic?”
Her eyes widened. “I didn’t say that. I’ve just…never seen you do it. That’s why I was surprised. Why are you so defensive? Do you have a problem with me?”
“Yes,” I said, the word cracking out of me before I could tame it.
Silence crashed between us.
“I’m tired of everyone acting like I need you to survive,” I continued, the dam broken. “Maybe that used to be true, but it’s not anymore. Instead of telling me to be myself, you’re always telling me how to act, like I’m some extension of you.”
“That’s not fair,” she shot back. “The only reason we’re so close is because we’re similar. You were always too scared to take initiative. I just pushed you a little. If you’ve been thinking this way the whole time, you don’t know me at all.”
Frustration boiled over.
“You always have to be right,” I said. “If things don’t go your way, everyone else is the villain. Just because Jungwon wasn’t ready to love you, you threw him away completely.”
Her eyes flashed. “Why are you defending him? I didn’t do anything wrong by expecting my boyfriend to love me. And why would I stay friends with someone I still liked? I’d only get led on. You wouldn’t understand any of this anyway. You’ve never been in a relationship.”
“Maybe I understand more than you think,” I said quietly. “He hurt you. You hurt him. You’re the one keeping that hurt alive.”
“If he’s still hurt, that’s his problem,” she snapped. “Love is unfair, Y/n. That’s what you don’t know.”
“I know exactly how unfair it is,” I said, my voice shaking.
She stared at me for a long moment, her gaze sharp and wounded.
“You’re hiding something from me,” she said finally. “I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it. And it hurts that you don’t trust me enough to be honest.”
Her words hit exactly where they were aimed. Because she was right.
“Just leave,” I whispered. “Please.”
She left.
I collapsed onto my bed and cried until my chest ached, not just from what I’d said but from what I still couldn’t.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. It was that the truth would shatter whatever was left between us. I wasn’t ready to watch that happen.
For the first time, I started to hate the version of myself who thought silence was kindness.
That night, I called Jungwon.
“Do you think love is unfair?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He was quiet for a long time.
“Yeah,” he said eventually. “I think it can be. A lot of the time.”
“Your ex,” I said. “If she had to move away because of her parents, that must have been unfair for her too. Maybe she didn’t want to end things. If you forgave her, maybe you’d finally let go.”
“Why are you worrying about that now?” he asked softly. “Did something happen with Yeonseo?”
“We fought,” I admitted. “Because I’m a coward. Because I couldn’t tell her the truth.”
“About the kiss?”
The word sat like a stone in my throat.
“Yes,” I forced out. “About you. About me.”
He sighed. “Do you want me to get back together with her?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I just want you to be happy.”
Silence stretched between us, full of things we understood but still refused to say.
“I want you to be happy too,” he said finally.
I looked at my reflection in the dark window and barely recognized the person staring back.
The next day, as we walked home together, my chest felt heavy with the decision I kept postponing.
“I have to tell her,” I said. “I can’t keep lying.”
He nodded, though his jaw tightened. “Whatever happens…that’s between you and her,” he said. “I don’t want to be the reason you lose your best friend.”
“You’re not the reason,” I said. “I am.”
“Still,” he said. “If she hates me more, I’ll live. If she hates you…that’s different.”
I didn’t answer.
I found Yeonseo after school the day after, near the shoe lockers.
“I need to talk to you,” I said.
She crossed her arms. “About what?”
“About Jungwon,” I said. “And about me.”
On the walk home, my words stumbled out in halves and starts. I didn’t tell her about the kiss. I told myself I was protecting her from more pain. I knew, even as I spoke, that I was also protecting myself.
“After we became friends, I started to like him,” I said quietly. “More than a friend.”
She stopped walking.
“Keep going,” she said, her voice low, controlled.
“After you broke up, we kept hanging out,” I confessed. “I hid it from you. I told myself I just liked being his friend, that it wasn’t about wanting him. But I was wrong. I should have told you sooner.”
Her eyes shone with something brittle.
“Does he know?” she asked.
“No,” I lied about that part. “And I’m not going to tell him. I just…want things to go back to how they were.”
“They can’t,” she said flatly. “You wanted him for yourself. Even if you didn’t date, you built something with him that I didn’t get to see. You chose him over me and then lied about it.”
“That’s not—”
“I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” she said, cutting me off. “I don’t trust you. Do whatever you want with him. I don’t care.”
It was only later, turning her words over in my head, that I understood: she cared too much. That was the point.
I watched her walk away, my heart splintering in slow motion.
I didn’t chase her. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think I deserved to.
When I told Jungwon, his face fell.
“She doesn’t want to fix it?” he asked.
I shook my head. “She said she can’t forgive me.”
He stared at me for a long moment.
“I’m still your friend,” he said softly.
“I don’t feel like I’ve been a very good one,” I said. The truth about the kiss pressed against my teeth. “She didn’t know about us. About…any of it. I lied to both of you.”
“You said you’d never choose,” he said quietly. “But you did. You chose me.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” he asked. “Why choose me?”
Because I loved you, I thought.
“I developed feelings for you,” I said instead. “But that’s not why I stayed. I wanted to be your friend because you made me feel seen. I lied because I was scared of losing that. Of going back to being just…someone’s shadow.”
He exhaled slowly. “I understand why you did it,” he said. “I just wish you hadn’t. I know you’re trustworthy, but right now…I don’t know how to give you that trust again.”
“If I’d told you sooner how I felt,” I said bitterly, “would you have still kissed me?”
“No,” he said immediately. “I wouldn’t have wanted to confuse you like that. None of this would have happened if I’d controlled myself.”
He looked away, jaw clenched.
“I’m sorry too,” he added quietly. “I knew how complicated it was with Yeonseo. You trusted me not to cross that line, and I did. I put you in an impossible position. That’s on me.”
“This is my fault,” I said. “I tried to have everything and ended up with nothing.”
He didn’t argue. Maybe because we both knew the truth was somewhere in between.
The next few days passed with no words from either of them. I felt like I was being punished, so I accepted it.
Yeonseo now walked past me in the hallway without a glance.
At lunch, a few classmates approached my table, where I sat alone with my untouched food.
“Did something happen between you and Yeonseo?” one of them asked. Everyone had started noticing the tension between us.
I stared at my tray. “I made a mistake,” I said. “I’m dealing with the consequences.”
They tried to pry, but I shook my head.
“It’s between us,” I said. “I just…hope she forgives me someday.”
To my surprise, one of them sat beside me and nudged my shoulder.
“You can sit with us,” she said. “So you don’t have to eat alone.”
“Yeah,” another chimed in. “You look like you’re about to cry.”
I almost laughed.
Their kindness felt strange and new, like a pair of shoes I hadn’t broken in yet—stiff, a little uncomfortable, but warming my feet anyway.
During PE, I saw Jungwon across the gym. To my surprise, he waved. My new friends glanced between us.
“Are you guys close?” one of them asked.
“We were,” I said. “When he was dating Yeonseo.”
Later, as we rested by the bleachers, I asked them about his ex.
“Oh, her,” one girl said. “She was smart. Quiet. A nerd, kind of like you. They started dating when she tutored him. Her parents were strict, though. They didn’t like her dating. I heard she got transferred to an all‑girls school when they found out.”
“So it wasn’t just the distance,” I murmured.
They shrugged. “Guess not. Parents like that…what can you do?”
I thought of what I’d told him, about forgiveness and unfairness.
Maybe his ex hadn’t wanted to leave him at all. Maybe she’d been trapped by something bigger than them. Maybe they’d both spent years blaming themselves for a choice that had never really been theirs.
On the walk back to class, my classmates giggled about seeing me with him at the river before.
“Sorry I told everyone,” the girl with the bike said, grinning. “But you two looked like you were on a date. You kind of suit each other.”
My face burned.
“I wouldn’t date him,” I said quickly. “He’s Yeonseo’s ex.”
“They don’t talk anymore,” one of them pointed out. “Why does it matter?”
“Because it’s still wrong,” I said. “And he wouldn’t go for it either.”
They traded looks.
“Doesn’t look like he minds walking with you,” someone muttered.
I changed the subject.
After school, Jungwon caught up to me near the gates.
“Hey,” he said. “Want to walk together?”
I hesitated. It was surprising that he wanted anything to do with me. Walking with him felt like sliding back into a familiar rhythm I wasn’t sure I deserved.
Then I nodded.
“Why aren’t you avoiding me?” I asked bluntly once we’d fallen into step.
“I thought about what you said,” he replied. “About honesty being brave. You told me the truth even though it cost you everything. I respect that. It would be stupid of me to punish you for the thing I always say I want.”
He glanced down the road, where Yeonseo had just passed us earlier without a glance.
“When I saw her ignore you,” he said quietly, “I remembered how it felt when my ex moved away. Like I’d been erased. You don’t deserve that.”
My throat tightened. “I hurt her.”
“You lied to protect her feelings,” he said. “If I were you, I might’ve done the same. It was a mistake, sure. But not evil.”
I exhaled shakily. “I asked my classmates about your ex,” I said. “I hope that’s okay.”
He shrugged. “What did they say?”
I told him everything.
He looked stunned. “I knew her parents were strict. She always wanted to keep us a secret. At some point, I thought she was embarrassed by me. That I cared more than she did.”
He laughed bitterly. “Then she agreed to let people know. Took that risk. And I thought, ‘Okay, she really loves me.’ I never knew that might be what got her sent away.”
“She might not have had a choice,” I said softly.
“Maybe,” he said. “But that just means I should be with someone who’s free to follow their heart. No restrictions. No secrets forced on them.”
I thought of Yeonseo. Of the invisible tether between us. Of how it tied my heart to hers even now, when we weren’t speaking.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m still restricted,” I admitted. “By her. By what I did. Even when she’s not around, I’m measuring every step against what she’d think.”
He glanced at me. “I know. And I hate that for you.”
We walked in silence for a while.
“I told my teammates we’re friends,” he said suddenly. “They were cool with it, actually. Said you seemed chill.”
A small smile tugged at my lips. “That’s…good?”
“It means we don’t have to hide,” he said. “We’re not doing anything wrong by hanging out. Yeonseo clearly doesn’t care what we do anymore, so why should we?”
“She cares,” I said quietly. “That’s why it hurts her so much. If she didn’t, none of this would matter.”
He sighed. “You’re still defending her.”
“I always will,” I said. “Even if we’re not friends. I’m still grateful to her.”
“For what?”
“For helping me meet you,” I said.
He looked away, ears turning pink.
Exams approached, and our afternoons filled with notes and highlighters.
“Are you good at studying?” he asked one day.
“It’s the one thing I’m confident in,” I said.
“Then help me,” he grinned. “I’ll pay you back somehow.”
We met by the river to study, our textbooks spread out on a blanket, pages fluttering in the breeze. My friends teased me about “tutoring my almost‑boyfriend,” but I ignored them. I told myself this was practical: he needed help, and I could give it. That was all.
Sometimes, when he leaned over my notebook to ask a question, our shoulders brushed. My heart would stutter, then settle into a rhythm that felt like both too much and exactly right.
Over time, the sharp ache of my earlier guilt dulled into something softer, like a bruise fading from purple to yellow. I still liked him. Maybe I always would. But I started to accept that what we had—a friendship built on shared confessions, quiet afternoons, and mutual trust—was something I didn’t want to risk for a label.
After exams, he stretched his arms behind his head and smiled.
“I think I did okay,” he said. “If I pass, I’m treating you to dinner.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” I said.
“I want to,” he insisted.
He also wanted to play basketball with me.
“You’ve never played with me,” he pointed out one afternoon.
“Because I suck,” I said.
“That’s okay. I’ll go easy.”
We played at a nearby park until the sun dipped low. I missed shots; he exaggerated his reactions when I actually scored. At some point, I realized I was laughing, loudly, without worrying about who might be listening.
Later, we went to see a movie I’d been wanting to watch, and he endured my whispered commentary with exaggerated patience.
As we left the theatre and headed toward a small restaurant, we ran into one of Yeonseo’s friends.
She took in our proximity, the easy way we stood side by side, and her eyes narrowed.
“Are you two…dating?” she asked bluntly.
“No,” Jungwon said, expression sharpening. “We’re friends. Why do you care?”
“You know why,” she said coolly. “Just remember she exists.”
She left before either of us could respond.
“Why does everyone assume we’re together?” Jungwon muttered. “Do we look that good together?”
My face heated. “Apparently.”
He glanced at me, more serious now.
“Do you still like me?” he asked.
The question knocked the air out of my lungs. For a second, I considered lying. It would have been easier.
“Maybe,” I admitted. “A little. But our friendship matters more to me. I don’t want to ruin it. I already ruined enough.”
He nodded slowly.
“I definitely had feelings for you at some point,” he said. “Maybe I still do. But I don’t think I’m ready to date anyone. And you’ve never even dated before. It’s…a lot.”
“I know,” I said.
“I’m just glad we can say this out loud,” he added. “I’ve never had that with anyone. With my ex, with Yeonseo…there was always something I kept back.”
He hesitated.
“If you started dating someone else…would we still be this close?” he asked.
I thought about it. About all the ways I’d already chosen him, silently, in the space between options.
“I’d want us to be,” I said. “But I don’t know. I’d probably still pick you, if I had to choose. I already did once.”
He smiled sadly. “If I end up loving someone someday, I hope they understand why I care about you. I wouldn’t want them to make me choose.”
I bumped his shoulder lightly. “Did you just say you love me?”
He flushed. “Not like that.”
“Sure,” I said, grinning.
He laughed. “We’ve come a long way, huh.”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “We have.”
A few weeks later, our class went on a trip—hiking, sightseeing, pretending to pay attention to a guide who talked about history while everyone secretly took photos instead.
I spent most of the time with my new friends and some of his teammates. We took pictures with mountains in the background, shared snacks, complained about the uphill sections.
Yeonseo was there too, always just far enough away that I could see her but not reach her. Sometimes our eyes met for a fraction of a second. She always looked away first.
At one point, one of Jungwon’s friends jokingly draped an arm over my shoulders.
“Careful,” he teased Jungwon. “I might steal her.”
“Cut it out,” Jungwon snapped, a little too quickly. “You’re making her uncomfortable.”
I laughed nervously, cheeks burning, aware of several phones pointed in our direction.
Later, I slipped away to walk by a small creek, needing air that wasn’t shared with laughter and half‑truths.
He found me there, hands in his pockets.
“Sorry about my friend,” he said. “He’s an idiot.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I was just…embarrassed. No one’s ever flirted with me before.”
He blinked. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“If we weren’t friends,” he said lightly, “I probably would’ve flirted with you by now.”
I snorted. “I could use the practice.”
He considered this.
“Okay. You’re pretty,” he said. “And I like how mysterious you are.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve said that before.”
“Maybe I was flirting then too,” he said. “Without realizing.”
“No one’s ever told me I’m pretty,” I admitted. “Not seriously.”
“Then they’re blind,” he said.
For once, I didn’t automatically argue.
A few weeks after the trip, he told me he’d run into his ex while visiting relatives.
“I always wondered what I’d feel if I saw her again,” he said as we sat by the river, feet dangling above the water. “Turns out…it was like seeing an old classmate. I was…fine. I think that means I’m over her.”
“I’m happy for you,” I said. And I was. It meant one ghost had finally let go of his throat.
“She asked if I was seeing anyone,” he continued. “Even asked me out. She said she didn’t want her parents to control her life anymore. That she regretted what happened. But I wasn’t interested. Which…surprised me.”
He scratched his head.
“She asked if there was someone else,” he said. “I told her…maybe.”
“Who?” I asked, heart pounding.
“You,” he said simply.
My brain short‑circuited.
“As a friend,” he added quickly, seeing the panic in my eyes. “Like…Valentine’s as friends. It’s normal, right? People do that.”
“No,” I said flatly. “It’s not.”
“Why not?”
“Because everyone already thinks we’re dating,” I said. “And my friends would never shut up about it. And Yeonseo—”
“There it is,” he said, a little sharply. “Why do you still care so much about what she thinks? Do you really think you’ll be friends again?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “But I haven’t forgiven myself yet. Maybe that’s why I can’t let go. It feels wrong to be happy when I’m the one who broke us.”
“The only thing you did wrong was lie to protect her feelings,” he said. “And like I said, I would’ve done the same. What’s the point of regretting the past? All we can do is be honest now.”
He was right about one thing: regretting hadn’t changed anything. All it had done was keep me stuck.
“Then honestly,” I said, “I can’t be your Valentine.”
“Fine,” he sighed. “Then we’ll just spend the day alone. Together. No labels.”
“How is that any different?” I asked.
“It’s not,” he said quietly. “Just like how what we have isn’t that different from dating. We do everything a couple does. We just don’t call it that.”
I stared at him.
“You’re the one who said we should never kiss again. For Yeonseo’s sake,” I reminded him. “Now you’re saying it doesn’t matter?”
He grimaced. “You’re right. I’m contradicting myself. I keep pretending that as long as we don’t name this, it’s harmless. Maybe there’s no point pretending anymore.”
The air between us felt heavier than it had in a long time.
“We both know our feelings didn’t just disappear,” he said softly. “We just buried them to protect what we had. Maybe…we don’t have to anymore.”
“Are you saying we should date?” I asked.
He held my gaze.
“I’m saying…we could try,” he said. “If you want to. If you are ready to stop pretending this is nothing.”
Fear fluttered in my chest, quick and wild.
“We might ruin everything,” I whispered. “What if it ends? What if you leave too? I don’t think I can lose you as a friend.”
“I trust you more than anyone,” he said. “I’m not scared of you hurting me. And if something feels off, we can talk about it. Actually talk. That’s more than I’ve had with anyone.”
“It’s too sudden,” I said. “We’ve spent so long building this version of us. Are we really going to throw it away in one conversation?”
“We’re not throwing it away,” he said. “We’re just…calling it what it’s becoming. But if the timing feels wrong to you, I’ll wait. I’m not in a rush to be with anyone else.”
“Let me think,” I whispered. “I don’t want to have regrets. Not again.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
That night, I went to Yeonseo’s house.
She opened the door, surprise flickering across her face, quickly replaced by wariness.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“To talk,” I said. “Please.”
We sat in the small park near her house, where we’d played as kids. The swings creaked; the slide’s metal was cold under my hand.
“I’m…happy that you seem okay,” I began lamely.
She shrugged. “I’m not. But I’ll live.”
I took a deep breath.
“I still see Jungwon,” I said. “A lot. We’re…close. Closer than I ever expected. He asked if we should try dating.”
Her expression darkened immediately.
“And you came to ask my permission?” she said. “Do you feel no shame at all?”
“I do,” I said quickly. “I feel ashamed all the time. I know I hurt you. I know I lied. I’m not asking you to approve. I just…don’t want to keep holding myself back for your sake without you knowing why. That feels like another lie.”
She looked away.
“Do you still like him?” I asked carefully.
“No,” she said. “Not like that. I’m hurt, not heartbroken. I’m hurt that you chose his side. That you saw him struggling and decided he needed your sympathy more than I needed your loyalty. You say you care about me, but when it came down to it, you picked him.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “I was selfish,” I said. “I wanted both of you. I wanted to be the person he confided in and the person you trusted. I tried to be both and failed at both.”
“Yeah,” she said. “You were selfish. And so was I. And so was he. That’s why everything fell apart. I resented both of you. That’s why I cut you off.”
She exhaled, long and shaky.
“But I’m tired,” she said. “If being with him makes you happy…then be with him. I won’t pretend I’ll ever be okay with it. If you date him, we’re not going to be friends again. I can’t imagine that right now. Maybe that’ll change someday, I don’t know. But for a long time…it’ll be over.”
My chest ached.
“You have a big heart,” I said quietly. “Bigger than I gave you credit for. I’m sorry I couldn’t be honest sooner.”
She snorted. “You don’t get to say that.”
She stood.
“If you said everything you needed to say,” she said, “then I’m going home.”
I watched her walk away without looking back.
For the first time, I let myself accept that our story—hers and mine—might have reached its ending, at least for now.
I hated that my choices had helped bring us here. But for once, I wasn’t going to pretend they hadn’t.
That night, I called Jungwon.
“I talked to her,” I said.
“And?”
“She said if we date, she and I will probably never be friends again,” I replied. “At least not for a long time. But she won’t stop us. She doesn’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy. Even if she can’t forgive me yet.”
“And what do you want?” he asked.
I closed my eyes.
“I want you,” I said. “And it hurts that I can’t have both. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way. I’ve been pretending for so long, I don’t know who I am when I stop. I’m tired of hiding—from you, from her, from myself.”
There was a pause. Then I heard him exhale, like he’d been holding his breath for months.
“Then let’s stop pretending,” he said. “Let’s try. We don’t have to promise forever. Just…honesty. If something feels wrong, we say it. If we’re scared, we say it. No more lying to protect each other from the truth. No more lying to ourselves.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted. “Not just of losing you. Of becoming the kind of person who hurts people and doesn’t care.”
“You’re not that person,” he said immediately. “You care too much. That’s why this hurts so much. That’s why you told her, even when you could’ve kept quiet and had things easier. You’re allowed to move forward, even if you made mistakes.”
Tears slid down my cheeks.
“Will you be happy?” he asked softly. “If we’re together?”
“Yes,” I said. “I think I’d be happier than I’ve ever been. Even if it hurts too.”
“Then that’s enough for me,” he said.
I wiped my eyes and nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Okay,” I whispered. “Let’s try.”
For the first time in a long time, the words didn’t feel like a lie.
I couldn’t change what I’d done. I couldn’t undo the hurt I’d caused or the friendship I’d cracked. But I could stop pretending I was someone who didn’t want anything. I could stop hiding behind other people’s expectations and start living with the consequences of my choices.
In little ways, I tried to do better. When classmates asked nosy questions, I didn’t lie. When Jungwon’s teammates teased us, I didn’t dodge the truth—I just said, “We’re figuring it out,” and let that be enough. When my new friends invited me to lunch, I didn’t wait to see who else was going. I said yes because I wanted to.
Maybe one day, Yeonseo would forgive me. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe our paths would cross in some distant future where we’d both grown into different versions of ourselves. If that day came, I wanted to be able to look her in the eye and say I’d at least learned from the way I hurt her.
Either way, I’d finally said the thing I’d been swallowing for months:
I can’t pretend anymore.
And somehow, that felt less like an ending and more like the beginning of something honest.
