" ass rainbows, " they repeat. " well. thankfully, that doesn't seem to be genetic. "

growing up, doodling on the backs of cereal boxes and in cheap, paper pads, they always painted their mother in all brights — a bold spectrum of colours entirely at odds with their own muted shades of grey. the older they got, the safer they felt in their certainty that even if she had lived, they wouldn't have been the sort of family to share in secret smiles or in-jokes. there would always have been some gap to bridge, or some translation to wander lost in.

they would have been unknowable to one another.

but the woman sitting across from them is disconcertingly shrewd. there's a glint in her eye that makes teddy shift where they sit, dropping their gaze as though in fear that she might somehow see into their soul.

that's what i'm afraid of, they think but don't say. i'm afraid you're going to stick around long enough to find me out — and i'm not sure what it is i'm even hiding.

She snorted. “ Can’t give you all the good genes now can we? It wouldn’t be fair. ” the corners of her eyes creased with a smile, then she watched them and hummed as she considered their next words carefully. She understood their hesitation. Had mulled their circumstances over the past month carefully. Asking them to abandon the comfortable cocoon of their loneliness would not be easy. But she expected this to be hard and to take time and felt confident in her ability to stick it out until they reached solid land. She has yet to meet a problem she couldn’t out-stubborn.

“ I have no doubt about that. ” War brought out the best in you and the worst in you. “ But I disagree with you. During the second war, after we lost dad and all of our lives were in danger, having someone to share my burden with made all the difference. Things are only going to get harder from here on out, Teddy. No one should face all of that on their own. ” Her eyes went towards her wedding band. It gleamed a fiery orange like her hair. Remus’ love, bound in stone, presented with the stubborn hope and fear that characterized the rest of their time together. They were all scared out of their minds by the end. If she didn’t have Remus, her mom, Teddy, she would’ve never made it through to the end. 

The stones shifted to a bright teal, and she realized she changed her hair without conscious thought. She looked back up at Teddy. “ It’s not only good, Teddy, it’s necessary. ” She put her hands around the warm mug. “ I know you’re scared. But nothing you are or aren’t is gonna turn me away. I’ve loved you since before you were born. The moment I knew I wanted to be a mother, I loved you. I’m not giving up on us just because it’s hard. ”

She let him do his unnecessary introduction – charmingly polite, as ever. Her lips curved with amusement. “ I know you do, ” she winked. “ And not to worry, we can hash out the details once I have you in cuffs. ”

She hummed, watching him. The first time she saw this smile on her Remus, she thought, I bet that got you out of a lotta trouble back in the day. It was such a boyish expression on his time-worn face, it instantly transformed him into someone forgivable. He did something stupid and risky on a mission, and she was quite angry and wagging a disapproving finger when he set that smile upon her like a last line of defense. It worked that day, she was not prepared, but not often since. Now she patted his cheek twice with an indulgent smile. “ I have a bezoar in my pocket if you need one. ”

She stretched her legs out beside him, crossed at the ankles, and leaned back on one hand. “ Well, let me put it this way. I know more about you than most people in the world, dead or alive. I know things your friends didn’t get to learn about you before they died. Things you haven’t discovered about yourself yet. And you know nothing about me. ” She examined her nails with interest. Her hair shifted from deep violet to a bright teal. The stones on her wedding band transformed to match. Did Remus know she was a Metamorphmagus, or did he completely avoid any mention of her to such an extent? It wouldn’t be hard. The last three days were a complete storm upon both their lives. But the thought that Remus wouldn't know something so definitive about her filled her with unbearable dread. “ My Remus wouldn’t have waited three days to address a potential threat like that. But he’s thirteen years your senior, so maybe he’s just wiser. ” She smiled down at him pityingly. “ You’ve got a bit of growing up to do yet, I suppose. ”

" it's fine. " teddy is not, by nature, an angry person. they seldom raise their voice. they don't slam doors or point fingers. they're in control, always. but there's something about the events of the past month or so, be it the mass resurrection or the blood on daisy's hands, that has them teetering on the edge of some dark, cavernous feeling. they want an outlet. they need somewhere to lay their burden down.

and as they stand face to face with the very last person they want to see, they're tempted now more than ever to take it out on the nebulous 'them' — the standard they couldn't match, no matter how desperately they tried. the footsteps too washed away for them to follow. the parents that weren't there.

but as per usual, their better judgment prevails. they stare back at their mother cooly. their mother.

" it's strange, that's all. " they speak carefully, watching her face and finding it somewhat like staring into the eyes of those old photos. two-dimensional. disconnected. if she has tells, they don't yet know them — a thought that makes the chasm between them feel deeper and wider than ever. they don't want to cause her pain, but they don't want to humour her either. blood may tie them, but they're still just two people. two imperfect strangers.

Tonks watched Teddy like she would a crime scene. Eyes flickered through their features, earmarked and catalogued. Cool stare, rigid shoulders, slight upturn to their chin. Like a tightly wound pressure valve struggling to contain. This was who her mother raised without dads influence. Without their monthly fishing trips, where she talked about her every worry and fear and success. She didn’t know if she would’ve done a better job. She wasn’t there to do it.

I would’ve taken you fishing, she thought. I would’ve carried your worries for you.

It’s fine, Teddy said. Tonks smiled despite herself. Her smile widened at the indelicate hope in Teddy’s last words. “ You sound like your father. He could be dying from an infection and still say he’s just fine. ” She leaned forward and put her chin on her hand. She hummed thoughtfully, looking them over. Every word they said was careful, everything about them squeezed tight enough to fit a capsule. She wanted to find the linchpin that held it all together and pluck it out. 

“ No, we don’t have to, ” she said. “ But I want to get to know you. And I want you to get to know me. Me. Not the weird shiny war hero with rainbows shooting out of its ass. ” She grabbed the handle of her mug with her other hand, thumb grazing the ceramic rim. The bracelet Remus charmed for her clinked against the table. “ Aren’t you curious about that? You must’ve wanted to ask me a million questions growing up. I wish I was there to answer them then, but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere any time soon. ”