finally

Sloane cringed at the comment, shaking her head even if the terrible joke had put a smile on her face. Was this how bad her own had sounded? Maybe she should apologize for putting Sydney through that. Seeing Sydney picking up the apples, Sloane bent down to help, “I guess that’s true,” not that she knew anything about baking with apples or even homemade apple sauce. “Wow, you’re a very sweet person. Are you sure you’re not like some angel?.” Apple sauce for a nursing home? This woman was an angle. Obviously, Sloane had heard good things about Sydney, her reputation proceeded her, but it was usually just that and limited interactions. “I should figure out how to bake with apples. It would save my not so pretty looking apples.”

Angel was a high title, one that Sydney didn’t think she could claim. She was just a person who knew how dark the world could be, and she just wanted to be a small light to whoever needed it. “No,” she chuckled giving her head a shake, “definitely not an angel..it just doesn’t seem fair of me to dirty or damage these fruits just to put them back for others to buy. Seems...disrespectful, ya know? I would feel better taking them home with me.” If she didn’t, she would probably think all day about those abandoned apples, riddled with guilt. “Thanks for helping me by the way, you didn’t have to do that.”

@sydneyashworth posted to instagram

This had to be a joke. A sick joke the universe had decided to play on Sydney; to be left alone in a room with no other than Emily Ashworth. Why couldn’t it have been anyone else? Why? Sydney internally cried. Her whole body began to tingle in anticipation for the unavoidable interaction. Her blue hues searched the entirety of the room they were in, hoping for some sort of escape, but there was none for her. Reluctantly she turned towards the blonde, who no doubt was probably feeling the same mixed feelings Sydney was, or at least Sydney could only assume so. “Oh,” she whispered weakly, “hey there..” The smile she offered was awkward, it felt weird even to Sydney. What else was she supposed to do? “How’s,” she stumbled over her next word; marriage? Home? homewrecking? Sydney shook her head, letting out a sigh as her brows scrunched up, “I just want to know why. Why Charles? Why?” She couldn’t come up with any reason that would make even a little sense to her.

———

The earnestness of Sydney’s words won her over, and she smiled gently, covering the brunette’s hands with her own. “Then I’d be happy to join you— and if you’re paying for the spa, then I’m paying for whatever meal we end up having afterwards, deal?” Beth couldn’t let her pay for everything. At the mention of new wine, an even broader smile grew on her face. “I can come over anytime. They won’t miss me too much, and besides, we can make a day out of it. I’ll bring some from our own cabinet, so that we can have some variety.” A part of her worried for Sydney, being thrust into this unforgiving environment, but she couldn’t help but be selfishly grateful for the older woman’s presence in her Fairview life.

———

“Ok, ok, ok,” she repeated as she put her free hand up into the air as some sort of show of defeat, “You can pay for the mean, but,” she countered, “You have to pick the place. It’s only fair.” Sydney absolutely adored her nieces, she would never grow tired of spoiling them, but even so, she held the older one close to the title of friend. “Maybe we can find something silly to watch too. I work tomorrow morning, I get off around 2 so anytime after that would be good for me. Or even this weekend would be good.” She tossed a smile towards the blonde as they walked up towards the door of the spa before she opened and held it open for Beth, “Nieces first!”‘ she exclaimed with a goofy smile dancing on her lips. Sydney waited for Beth to enter the lobby before she, too, followed her inside. Once at the desk the older woman rang the little bell situated neatly on the counter, “Oh,” she squeaked as the desk clerk round the corner, “I brought an extra with me! Hope that’s ok...I just want my regular,” she turned towards Beth, “And Beth would like?”

Charles had been having a good day. Suspiciously good. He’d not hit any traffic on the way to work, there hadn’t been a line at the coffee cart outside of his office, an empty elevator had been seemingly waiting for him in the lobby, he’d gotten two protein bars out of the vending machine instead of just the one he’d paid for, and his boss had congratulated him on a job well done with a contract from the week before. So he was pretty much waiting for the other shoe to drop, anxious that he was going to run into a massive collision on his way home or come back to find out the house had burnt down. Everything was just going too well.

Except there seemed to be no immediate danger when he did pulled into his driveway, after travelling home on a journey just as peaceful as his had been earlier that day. He resigned himself to the fact that it was just a good day, nothing more. No monsters lurking behind a corner waiting to jump out at him. Oh, if only he knew. “Syd!” He called out as she door closed behind him, keys going into the designated bowl by the door and coat being shrugged off to be hooked onto the stand it always sat on. Cash ran towards him, knowing that he wouldn’t be shooed away if he jumped up so that his paws pressed into his owner’s thighs but instead would be rewarded with a ruffle of his fur and pats to his head. This was their routine, the same thing that happened everyday. Part of Charles wondered how he was bored of the mundane nature of his life, the fear that he would feel trapped had caused him to run from this very scenario most of his life, but rather he felt content. Maybe even happy. Which ironically had scared him more than boredom. Had left him terrified that it wouldn’t be enough for Sydney, that his wife would realise that he was fraud and was sure to screw up his life. Their life. And of course his solution had been to do just that.

He looked around curiously after Cash had pounced back to the floor, satisfied with his treatment. There was no smell of dinner in the air. Maybe they were getting takeout? But that didn’t answer the question of where his wife was. He followed their dog, a soft smile still on his face as he leaned against the sitting room doorway. However, it didn’t stay there for long. Not when he saw Sydney’s clearly emotional state. “Babe,” It was almost as if he was questioning her, soon speeding across the room to do as she’d requested and bundled her into his arms. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

How was it that the one person who had hurt her was the one she was seeking comfort from now? And yet, while she laid there in his arms tears welled up in her eyes as she listened closely to his heart beat. As if she was searching for anything, any sign that maybe, just maybe it would betray the mask he wore on the outside, the mask she had hoped he wouldn’t give to her. But he had. Only he had been hiding something much worse than she had thought. She let his questions hang there in the air; answerless. She was struggling with what to say, so many scenarios already running through her head again. Her eyes clenched shut tightly causing the tears to run down her cheeks once again, “I know,” was all she could manage to spit out, “I know about you and Emily.” As she dropped that bombshell, she could only bury herself further into his chest before pulling herself into a sitting up position to allow herself to look everywhere BUT his eyes...until finally she forced herself to look at his face, her usual cheery features on her face were now twisted up into something else entirely, her hurt etched all over in each twist and turn of her face, as if she was silently begging him for some explanation. For some reasoning that explained why, that explained the whole situation, but there wasn’t a magical right answer that would suddenly save her from this hurt.

Sydney’s reaction was exactly why he didn’t want to be the one to tell her about this. Sydney wasn’t like the other Ashworths- he felt like he had to protect her, even if Charles wouldn’t. He felt like he cared more about his brother’s wife than he did. None of that mattered now- especially not Charles. He was the cause of this, him and Emily and they weren’t here. He was left to pick up her jagged pieces, just like he did when they were younger, picking up after his brother. This couldn’t keep happening- Charles couldn’t keep getting away with making his messes. Enough was enough. He panicked when he heard her intentions to leave. He couldn’t let her go, not like this, not when she was crumbling. “No, no,” His tone was soft, comforting- something most didn’t get to hear. “You’re not going anywhere. Come here.” Already wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. The embrace was tight but not firm, warm and inviting against his hard body. “I’m going to fix it. I promise.” A deep sigh before his lips pushed against her hair, kissing her head. “We’ll get through this together, okay?” HE had no idea how he’d fix any of this but Sydney’s heartbreak would not stand. 

It felt as if Sydney was threatening to burst into a million pieces. How did they do it? How did they walk around as if nothing was wrong? Did Andrew feel like this too? He had to...How was he so strong? Her body began to shake from all the build up of emotions she desperately tried to bottle up inside her small frame. She may have fallen to pieces if it weren’t for Andrew, his arms wrapping around her as if gently holding all the broken parts together. A soft, quiet, broken sob escaped her lips as she buried herself into his embrace. Everything inside of her made her want to believe he would fix this, however, the damage was already done. She was afraid it couldn’t be fixed. Slowly she nodded her head, “Together,” her voice was low, her body still trembled in his arms as she wrapped her own arms around her brother in law. The tears that threatened to spill already stained her cheeks, they had fallen silently the moment she entered this comforting embrace. “But how? How will we get through this?” she choked out, “What if we can’t?” it certainly felt as if there was no other side to this nightmare. No greener grass in sight, but at least they had each other?

Falling fruits seemed to be representative of Fairview, but maybe she was just reading a little to into it. It was hard not to when something was happening at every turn. It had been less chaotic than everything else that happened was happening. All Sloane wanted was a peaceful month. It shouldn’t be much to ask, but it was the least the world could do for her. Granted the world didn’t owe her any favors but damn. If run away fruit was the best this week could offer, it seemed like a sign. Though Sloane wasn’t sure what exactly it was a sign of yet. Doing her best to save whatever fruit she could, she picked them up and rolled her cart closer to Sydney, “what did the poor fruit do to you?” she joked, trying her best to lighten the mood. With what her family was going through, fruit wasn’t the worst thing she could take her feelings out on. “They look fine, I’m not sure they are though.” Were you just supposed to put dropped fruit back on display? That seemed wrong.

“They didn’t keep the doctor away?” she joked back, not really sure if the other woman would find it even remotely funny or not. Sydney let out a small defeated sigh as she picked up one of the apples, dusting it off on her shirt before looking it over for any damage, “Well,” she began as she looked back up at Sloane, “at least they don’t need to be perfect to bake with.” Slowly she began gathering up all the apples that she had caused to fall, “Maybe I can donate some to the needy...after I bake them all up. Or apple sauce for the nursing home? They would probably like that, but if all else fails I’ll just leave them in the lunchroom at work.” There was no way Sydney wasn’t going to buy every apple that had hit the floor.

Nick had no idea who annoying orange or apple was but Casey giggled and that was enough for him. He gave a chuckle anyway to show support for the non-hitting joke. “Well, so long as you’re okay.” He placed a hand on Casey’s shoulder to pull her in front of him to present her to the woman. “This is Casey. Casey, say hi to the nice lady.” Casey was ten but raised by two soldiers, she wasn’t your typical ten year old. Whereas some were invested in their phones, Casey would be picking up dropped apples(for example) or seeing if she could reach something on a low shelf for the elderly. She was a damn good kid which is why Nick did what he did. 

He offered out his hand officially introducing himself. “I’m Nick. Do you remember me from the investigation?” He did look very different in street clothes than his uniform. “Respectfully, Ma’am, agree to disagree about that. I could eat all those treats for every meal and not tire of ‘em. Brings me back to mama’s,”

—–

Honestly Casey’s laugh was more than enough for Sydney to call her joke a success. “Oh, please, no, call me Sydney, please,” she politely corrected as she tossed a smile towards the child, “It’s nice to meet you Casey.” While she had no kids of her own, she liked to believe she was good with kids...some might say that’s thanks to some of her childish quirks.

She stood there silently staring at him for a moment, “No, I can’t say I do,” of course she remembered him, “I’m constantly being interviewed by police officers that they are all blending together...” An awkward laugh left her lips, “I’ve never....that was my first time, yeah, yeah of course I remember you.” Her face lightened up with excitement, “I will keep that in mind for when I make too much of something, if that was ok?” She paused a moment before letting out a short gasp, “Oh! Right, uh, I’m Syndey,” she reached her hand out finally to grab hold of his tightly, giving it a tiny shake, “Nice to finally meet you outside of work.”

——-

Beth made note of the idea— it wasn’t a recipe, per se, but it was a good suggestion. If she could mix ramen noodles with actual fresh vegetables, then maybe they’d all actually eat something with some nutritional value during those all-nighters. It might not taste like fine dining, but anything can taste good enough with the right kinds of seasoning— or so she had been told.

She swayed easily as the older woman nudged her, her raised eyebrow quickly smoothing out as she listening to Sydney’s suggestion. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose.” A spa day sounded amazing, but surely her aunt would rather go alone, or with someone she knew better. Beth internally shook her head. Sydney’s kindness to her never failed to surprise her, especially since Charles has spent all her life swinging between apathetic and outright hostile towards her. “But if you really don’t mind me tagging along, I wouldn’t say no. It’s been too long since I’ve had a proper spa day.”

——-

“You wouldn’t be imposing!” she exclaimed, grabbing hold of Beth’s arm tightly, “I would love to have the company honestly....I promise.” Spa days weren’t something that Sydney often took; today was a sort of special occasion. She needed to relax. “And don’t worry about the cost...I got it, plus I got to spoil my nieces. Have to make up for all those years I didn’t get to, ya know?” a soft laugh slipped out of her lips. She knew how much her husband didn’t care for the older niece, however, that didn’t mean she had to share the same feelings. Besides she had a small inkling that the reason was that Charlie perhaps saw a little too much of himself in the blonde. “I bought some new wine recently as well if you want to swing by my house afterwards? Or maybe another day after the spa? Wouldn’t want to steal you away from your parents for too long.”

To go from living in a fairytale to finding out your husband, who you’ve only been married to a little over a year had been cheating...with his sister in law, was a bit like being in a car while a tornado overtook you. Spinning, spinning, spinning. Never touching ground until...Boom! Everything you had built or loved was lying decimated around you. She may not have been friends or even close to Emily, however, she still considered her to be family. The part that hurt the most was that she had been on Charles side from day one, while everyone else was making him out to be a monster...she was there seeing the best in him. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t have done for him, and yet, here he was trying to prove everyone that they were right about him. She couldn’t understand why he would do that to her...she couldn’t understand what she had done to deserve this, and then for him to walk around their home together as if all was well, as if he hadn’t been fucking another woman. It made a rather large pit form in her belly, one she was awfully afraid would consume her if she let it. So many thoughts and feelings continued to swirl around inside of her head making it difficult for her to focus on anything else. 

After leaving Andrew she had no other choice than to go back home. It was the only place she could go. It was her home, he was her home, or had been before the bomb had been dropped atop of her. Now she wasn’t sure what it was. Had he brought Emily into their home? Had their sin happened on their bed? The same bed they made love in? The thoughts made her feel sick to her stomach. How could she not have known? Did he even love her? Did he love Emily? These were the thoughts she was trapped by. Those were the thoughts she was thinking as the front door click shut, never even hearing it open in the first place. She was situated neatly in the sofa in the living room, the tv buzzing quietly with some random channel she had placed on earlier in the day for Cash to watch, her fingers twirling her wedding rings around absently. All this time she had been thinking about what she would say, what the conversation would be like, how it was going to play out, but the only word that found it’s way out of her lips was...”Hi..” she’d never felt or sounded so small before now. “I had a very bad day today Charlie...can we cuddle?” Tears already brimming in her icy blue eyes as she peered over at her husband. “Please,” she whimpered feeling awfully pathetic as a human...even now he was her person, she couldn’t deny that.

He hadn’t heard from his sister in law since he’d seen her at the grocery store. He thought  that had meant Charles finally came clean to her and they were keeping a low profile. He definitely didn’t expect the news of her keeping her husband home from work and gods knows what hiking was code for. The coward hadn’t told her a damn thing and Andrew was infuriated! He huffed a sigh, closing the door solemnly. No one else needed to know what he was about to tell her. “Syd,” He started before pausing to pull out one of the chairs. “I need to tell you something and I think you should sit down.” He waited for her to sit down before walking over to his desk to retrieve the file he had from his private investigator. “I gave Charles those black eyes on Valentine’s day because he had an affair with my wife.” He couldn’t bear to speak her name, not right now. 

“What?” she began, quickly taking notice of the shift in the air around them. Sit down? That did not sound good..it was a statement she had plenty of experience saying herself. It was also a statement that had once already been told to her. All of the color quickly drained from her face, any mutterings about the pie ceasing to continue. Sydney nodded her head slowly as she forced herself down into the chair, her hands were already sweating from her nerves. “I feel like I’m about to be fired,” she forcibly joked, a broken chuckle following soon after. Or like she’s about to be told someone died, ,which honestly was why her stomach was rolling, her head already light from the adrenaline. “Oh thank god,” she spat out before he even finished why he had given Charles the black eyes, her mouth gaping open as the full truth spilled out. This was a sick joke right? They had barely been married a year...she thought everything was good, great even.... “No,” she cried out, her head shaking, “No, no, no..” She didn’t want to know this. “Stop talking,” her hands clamped down over her ears, though he’d already stopped talking, his words continued to ring inside of her head...Charles cheated. With Emily. Out of everyone he could have chosen...he chose Emily. Sophisticated, sexy, put together Emily. His sister in law. Her sister in law. This wasn’t someone they could just move away from...this was a stain that would plague them for the rest of their lives. Abruptly she stood up with a such a force it knocked the chair down, the tears now falling slowly down her cheek, “I,” she stuttered,” I need to go.” Go where? Where would she go? She had no one besides Charles...As quickly as she had stood up she was suddenly just standing there, motionless, her eyes looked up towards her in law, a pleading look filling them, her voice small, “What do I do?” As if he might have the answer for both of them, “What do we do?”