He couldnât imagine generating enough care to actively try and fool the whole of Wisteria Lane. He hadnât even tried to generate enough to get through ordering a cup of coffee and that was just a limited amount of people. There wasnât enough money in the world for him to ever try. Though maybe the entertainment would come from the reactions of those who knew what he really was like. It still just wasnât enough. His lack of enjoyment wouldnât be something new to this town. Did authenticity exist? âI think my mind would prefer to suffer in a different way.â
âYou were raised here, of course they think that.â There had to be some psychological phenomena that explained small town logic. The same phenomena that explained the switch that flipped in Beth at the moment. Maybe it was an absence of privacy of healthy privacy. The entire town was functioning in some aspects of privacy but God only knew how much of that was a result of really just hiding their deals with the devil from the rest of the town. âIâm not sure thatâs love.â He wasnât sure what it was either but it seemed more bent on conditions than anything else. It was easier to humanize someone when they failed, obviously, but if their love was dependent on humanizing Beth or anyone else, it seemed like a subtle manipulation. It wasnât PTSD was it? The phenomena or small town logic. Even just hearing bits of experiences in this godforsaken town, it did ring a little like trauma. Nathan let out a snort at her next words. âThat name is insignificant the moment you step out of here.â If anyone knew it, it was Beth. That last name accounted for just a last name outside of the unhealthy environment and yet she wore it like a badge. Not that she shouldnât be proud, but the pressure of a last name wasnât worth trading in your sanity.Â
âItâs more of a life reward for being your uncle than a talent.â Although he couldnât lie, he had invested more time into finding new ways and moves to beat her with. Nathan just couldnât take the possibility that Beth would ever beat him, not while he was still capable of all his faculties. He scoffed, offended, mostly proud, and slightly impressed. âEvil. If I didnât know better, those would be fighting words, Elizabeth.â Heâd have to get a beware of dog sign, he didnât have a dog but maybe it would scare people off. âDonât let them think my resting bitch face doesnât work, Iâd have to actively scowl and that requires more muscles.â He laughed. Perhaps he should prepare himself if she ever resorted to such tactics.
Beth nodded, conceding the point. âNo, itâs definitely not love, but we all say that it is.â It honestly baffles her, how the word love is so regularly used to describe things that do not represent love in the slightest. Itâs just expectations and conformity wrapped up in pretty bows. A part of her wanted to curl away in disgust, or vehemently reject the personality she was known for in Fairview. But she couldnât. It was so intrinsically tied to her, tied to her identity and tied to her understanding of family that she couldnât help but wonder if it was even possible to strip all of it from her person. Besides, she could admit to herself that there were aspects of her personality that felt real... And yet, what was even more difficult was reconciling the young lady she is in Fairview with the young woman she was at universityâ her core values never wavered, and yet the way she presented herself changedâ she wondered what her uncle thought, having been privy to both âsidesâ of her, so to speak. Perhaps one day she would ask, when she wasnât such a coward.
A small scoff escaped her as her uncle continued to speak. âIâm fairly certain that in Fairview, most people are more likely to remember my surname before my actual name.â Though, in their defense, Elizabeth wasnât necessarily a stand-out name. There had been quite a few Elizabeths in high school during the same time, but surprisingly sheâd been the only Elizabeth in her grade. Small miracles. âHellâ Iâm pretty sure most people know exactly where I live.â Small towns truly are a different world, especially in the suburbs. God knows that she canât fathom having so many people knowing exactly where her dorm is. In cities, thereâs a sense of privacy that small towns do not affordâ and so people devise their own ways to create privacy. The Ashworthâs way was to present themselves as picture-perfect households that look as if theyâd been pulled out of the pages of a misogynistic magazine from the 50sâ but it works. It works amazingly.
Beth laughed, the sound loud and open as her uncle presented the idea of beating her at chess as a life reward for being her uncle. âMaybe we can take this up in the ring,â she replied, her fists coming up as she fell into a boxing stance, before she laughed once more and continued walking. It had been too long since sheâd properly worked out, and she couldnât help but miss the physical exertionâ and God, it would be so freeing. âCareful now, if you actively scowl you might just end up attracting more attention. Housewives get bored, you know? A new face with a perma-scowl might be the exact kind of excitement they think they want in their lives.â It was a stereotype, but one that seemed to actually be true.