Soft and Hurt

I think a lot of people misunderstand why enemies to lovers is so popular. It’s quickly become one of the most pervasive tropes in many novels. Is it the banter, the tension? That’s definitely part of it. But if that were true, then friends-to-lovers and literally any romance with good dialogue and characterization would scratch the same itch. For some, it does, but for many…enemies-to-lovers just hits different. 

My theory is that it isn’t actually about love, not really. I think it fulfils a fantasy that no other trope can provide: the fantasy of being seen as an equal. 

Think about what specifically makes someone an enemy in fiction. It’s not just someone the MC dislikes, it’s someone who can affect them in tangible ways, maybe even have the power to ruin them, challenge their worldview, expose their weaknesses, etc. The relationship begins with conflict because the characters are fundamentally opposed in some way. It doesn’t matter why, but they’re fighting. There is a struggle for dominance. 

I would argue that the most impactful enemies-to-lovers moments are never the romantic moments, they’re the scenes where power shifts. They BOTH lose: they’re forced into a position that would have horrified them at the beginning of the story. They end up needing (or wanting) each other. 

That’s why I think people are often disappointed when a supposed enemies-to-lovers story turns out to be a milquetoast attempt where they’re just kinda mean to each other for a few pages, and then immediately start making out. Where’s the risk, the actual threat? If the characters aren’t capable of genuinely affecting one another, then the relationship isn’t actually transforming in a satisfying way. The appeal is in the fact that they have power over each other, because the eventual trust they build requires real surrender.

Because here’s the thing about enemies; they pay attention, and usually more attention than anyone else. They notice weaknesses because they’re actively looking for them, they notice strengths because they need to account for them. They notice habits, blind spots, ambitions, fears. 

They study the MC with a level of scrutiny that borders (and later crosses) intimate, but unlike friends (or supporting characters in the MC’s corner) they’re not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, they don’t overlook flaws out of affection. Which is exactly what makes the eventual romance so satisfying. It feels earned. 

It’s easy to imagine being loved by someone who sees the best version of you, but it’s an entirely different thing to be loved by someone who has seen you at your worst. That’s why this dynamic often feels more convincing than romances where the characters are immediately into each other.

I imagine there are many who go through life feeling misunderstood, or worse, that the people who love them only love the polished, perfect version they present to the world, almost like impostor syndrome. But what if there was someone who couldn’t be fooled by this carefully constructed image? 

When someone more powerful chooses someone, maybe the fantasy is protection. When it’s someone less powerful, the fantasy might be admiration. But if there’s someone intelligent and observant enough to see the MC as an equal, the fantasy there is the most intense and honest validation. 

leverage ot3, 2.8k, G

written (belatedly) for @whumperless-whump-event day 9: Dropping Like Flies: Multiple whumpees / Caretaking while sick or injured / "I'll get some rest soon, I promise."

“Eliot? Where are you going?” At the sound of Parker’s disappointed voice, he turns back. She’s still got her head on the couch cushions but she’s lolled it toward him. She’s frowning, that furrow back in her brow. Eliot’s resolve wavers. “Just gonna get a couple more things,” he says. “So we don’t have to get up later.” “But you haven’t sat down since we got home. You’re hurt too. You need to sit down.”

All three of our favorite thieving trio are a little worse for wear at the end of a long day, and Eliot’s busy fussing and fretting. Someone oughta remind him he’s allowed to take it easy too.

AO3 link in title and tags under the cut! ❤️‍🩹🛋️💤

It is very important that the language in your novel reflects the time and place in which the story is set.

For example, my story is set in Italy. My characters would never “ride shotgun”, a term coined in US in the early 1900s referring to riding alongside the driver with a shotgun to gun bandits. 

Do your research! A free tool that I found to be very useful is Ngram Viewer. 

You can type any word and see when it started appearing in books. For example…one of my characters was going to say “gazillion” (I write YA) in 1994. Was “gazillion” used back then?

And the answer is…YES! It started trending in 1988 and was quite popular in 1994.

For example, did you know that before 1986 people never said “I need to”?Instead, they were far more likely to say “I ought to”, “I have to”, “I must”, or “I should”.

Don’t believe me?

Anyway, most people won’t notice subtle changes like that. But your reader will notice and be confused when characters in your medieval world use metaphors involving railroads and rockets.

One of the things you can do besides use Google Ngrams is to read books or watch movies written in the time period you want to set your story. The key here is that they can’t just be set in that time period, they have to have been made in that time period.

List of various terms of endearment that can be used in different languages. A lot of them are gender neutral. Now in alphabetical order.

Afrikaans

Lief (love)

Liefie (lovey)

Arabic

Habibi حبيبي (m) (my love)

Habibti حبيبتي (f) (my love)

Ya hayati يا حياتي (my life)

Ya qalbi يا قلبي (my heart)

Ya ruhi يا روحي (my soul)

Hubbi/hobbi حبي (my love)

Catalan:

Estimat (m) /estimada (f) (dear)

Amor/amor meu (love/my love)

Sol (sun) (used more like "és un sol" ('they're a sun'??) and normally used when talking about well-behaved children lmao.

"Reiet meu" could also be used (means 'my little king') (m)

"Carinyo" (from spanish Cariño i guess)

"Bonic (m)/bonica (f)" (means nice or pretty (physically)) ("bonica" in feminine is more common as a term of endearment)

Vida (life) (can also be "videta" (diminutive version))

Bombó (that's like a chocolate sweet lmao)(used normally with women)

Princesa (means princess) (f)

Czech

Zlato (gold, my precious)

Lásko (love)

Miláčku (dearest, little dear)

Danish

Skat (treasure)

Engel (angel)

Smukke (pretty/beautiful)

Elskede/elskling (beloved)

Kæreste (dearest and also used for the term girlfriend/boyfriend)

Snut (sorta like babe, a bit outdated)

Dejlige (wonderful)

Smuksak (beautiful but only for endearment)

Pus (cute pitiful thing)

Pusling (Pus in diminutive)

Musling (mouse diminutive)

Putte[animal] (cuddle[animal of choice], most used is: animal, mouse and pig, but other animals or objects happen)

Kære (loved one)

Allerkæreste (most loved, argumentative)

Basse (cute fat, might come from bear, mostly used for children and men)

Dutch

Schatje (treasure)

Liefje (loved one)

Lieverd (loved one)

Lieveling (loved one)

English

Dear

Pet

Baby

Babe

Honey

Darling

My love

Sunshine

Sweetheart

Sweet cheeks

Prince/Princess

Farsi

Joon/Jaan جان (life)

Azizam عزیزم (my dear)

Asalam عسلم (my honey)

Golam گلم (flower)

Filipino (from various local languages, all gender neutral)

Mahal, sinta (tagalog) (love)

alternatively add "ko" or "aking" to turn it into "my love" (e.g. mahal ko, sinta ko; aking mahal, aking sinta) with "aking" being used more often when talking about the one you love to a 3rd party;

or turn it into a verb (e.g. aking minamahal, kasintahan) to make it "lover"

Paraluman, irog, liyag, giliw (tagalog) (darling) these are older terms though, you won't hear or see them being used unless you're lovers with someone 🌟Extra🌟

Tangi (tagalog) (only one)

Tinatangi (tagalog) (the one i hold dear/the only one for me)

Tinadhana - fated (from the root word "tadhana" meaning fate, which in and of itself should also be a term of endearment and I stand by that)

Hinigugma (bisaya) (beloved) (very old)

Palangga/pangga/langga or "ga" for short and sometimes pagingging (ilonggo) (love) (can also be used platonically or between family members)

Kalasahan (tausug) (beloved) (this is pronounced with an emphasis in the SA syllable (as in kalaSAhan) instead of the LA like in the tagalog word LAsa (which means taste)

Jowa (filipino slang) (significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend)

Bebe, bebe ko, beh, bhe, bhie, bih (filipino slang) (babe)

Lablabs (filipino slang) (literally "love-love" in a heavy filipino accent)

Finnish

Aarteeni (my treasure)

Armaani (my darling (A bit old fashioned to say.))

Höpönassu/höpönassukka/höpsö (silly)

Kalleimpani (my most valued one)

Kulta/kultaseni/kultu/kultsi/kultsipuppeli (gold; darling (These are ordered from least syrupy to most syrupy.)

Mielitietty/mielitiettyni (favourite/my favourite (Formal, usually used when speaking about your loved one to someone else.))

Murmeli (marmot)

Muru/murunen (crumb; honey)

Mussukka (sweetie)

Pikkuinen (little one (Used for children and animals.))

Rakas/rakkaani (love/my love; dear)

Sydänkäpyseni/sydänkäpynen (my heart cone/heart cone; sweetheart)

Söpöliini (cutie)

French

Mon amour (my love)

Mon cœur (my heart)

Chéri (m) / Chérie (f) (darling)

Chou (used like "honey", but directly translates to cabbage)

Mon lapin (my bunny)

Ma vie (my life)

L'/amour de ma vie (love of my life)

Ma poupée (f) (my doll)

Gàidhlig (Scottish)

A chuisle (a hoo-sluh)/ A ghràidh (a ghrah-ee) (my love)

Mo chridhe (moh hree-uh) (my heart)

A chiall mo chridhe (a heel moh hree-uh) (my dearest darling)

Both romantic or otherwise, i.e. they don't have specific romantic connotations.

Leannan (lyen-an) (sweetheart)

M' eudail (may-thal) (darling, romantic)

Luaidheag (luah-yak) (darling, the way a wee old lady talks to a child)

German

Liebling (beloved/favourite)

Schatz (treasure, I would say the most common one between established couples)

Liebes (loved one) (not that romantic, can be used by older people)

Liebster (m) (loved one, bit old-fashioned)

Liebste (f) (loved one, bit old-fashioned)

Hase / Hasi (bunny)

Maus (mouse)

Spatz (sparrow)

Bär / Bärchen (bear)

Engel / Engelchen (angel)

Prinzessin (f) (princess)

Sonnenschein (sunshine)

Kleines (f/n) (little one, can be used in a cute way for women, (while actually being neutral), but can also sound degrading or offensive)

Greek

Αγάπη /Αγάπη μου (love /my love) (the first can also be used among friends, usually between women, but both are very often used in romantic relationships)

Ψυχή μου (my soul) (mostly romantic but can be used by a parent to their kid)

Hebrew

Chaim sheli חיים שלי (my life)

Neshama sheli נשמה שלי (my soul)

Lev sheli לב שלי (my heart)

Ahoovi אהובי (m) (my love)

Ahoovati אהובתי (f) (my love)

Hindi

Meri jaan मेरी जान (f) (my life)

Mera jaan (m/n) (my life)

Rani रानी (f) (queen)

Hungarian

Kedvesem (my dear)

Szerelmem (my love)

Drága (precious)

Édesem (my sweetie)

Kicsim (my little one)

Babám (my baby)

Kincsem (my treasure)

Indonesian

Sayang (to love/love, can be used as 'honey', doesn't have to be romantic)

Cintaku (my love, mostly used romantically)

Irish

A stór (darling)

A stórín (little darling, sweetie. More commonly used for children, but can be used romantically too)

A chroí (heart, you can say "mo chroí" too, that means "my heart")

A ghrá (love)

Aingeal (angel, used both romantically, and for people who've done something nice for you (think "you're a doll"))

A ghrá geal (directly translates to "bright love", but means something more like "honey" or "darling")

Mo ghrá amháin (my one, my one love, my true love)

Mo chailín/mo bhuachaill (my girl/my boy, we say this in place of "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" because there's no proper words for those)

Mo bhean/mo fhear (my woman/my man, like the above, but more seriously, usually said by married couples as a short form of "bean chéile" (wife) and "fear chéile" (husband))

A réaltín (star/little star, used both romantically and to refer to children)

Italian

Tesoro (treasure)

Amore mio (my love)

Cuore (heart)

Vita mia (my life)

Cucciola (puppy/cub) (mostly used for women, but you could say "cucciolo" for men)

Piccola (little one) (mostly for women, "piccolo" would be the male version)

Cara/caro (dear) (now mostly used by grandmas for grandkids but perfect for couples in the past or old couples nowadays

Bimba (f) (child)

Patata/patatina (potato/little potato) (again mostly women when used romantically, "patato/patatino" for men, but they can also be used for pets, babies, your kids or anyone that you find cute)

Tata/tato (short version of papata/patato)

Polpetta/polpettina (meatball/little meatball) (very uncommon, but I've heard it used for girls)

Topolina (little mouse) (very uncommon, but could be used for girls)

Bambola (doll)

Korean

Jagiya 자기야 (honey/baby)

Aegiya 애기야 (baby/little one)

Gongjunim 공주님 (f) (princess)

Wangjanim 왕자님 (m) (prince)

Nae Sarang 내 사랑 (my love)

Gwiyomi 귀요미 (cutie)

Yeobo 여보 (darling, loved one to a spouse)

Malay

Sayang (dear/darling)

Polish

Kochanie (my beloved)

Myszko (f) (little mouse for women romantic, or for young daughters)

Misiu (m) (diminutive bear, romantic for men)

Misiaczku (another form of the above but more intersex)

Słoneczko (diminutive for sun, can be for children but also romantic for women)

Pączusiu (diminutive doughnut, romantic partner)

Bąbelku (bubble diminutive for young children, toddlers or infants)

Duszko moja (very outdated, meaning my soul, for women)

Serce moje (also old school, meaning my heart, unisex)

Gwiazdeczko (diminutive star, for girls and romantic female partner)

Kotek/Kotku (kitten, unisex)

Mała (literally: little (f), for women, can be romantic but also offensive if used by strangers)

Skarbie (my treasure, unisex)

Rybciu (diminutive for fish, little fish, for women)

żabko (diminutive for frog, little frog, for women)

Portuguese

Meu querido (m)/ minha querida (f) (my darling)

Meu amor (my love)

Princesa (f) (princess)

Meu docinho (my sweetheart)

Coração (heart)

Amado (m)/Amada (f) (my beloved)

Meu (m)/ minha (f) mais que tudo (my above overall) Meu tesouro (my treasure)

Paixão (passion)

Meu bem/ meu benzinho (my goodness)

Meu doce/meu docinho (my sweet/ my little sweet)

Brazilian Portuguese

Amor (love)

Querido (m) / Querida (f) (darling)

Bebê (baby)

Meu bem (untraslatable; something between "my dear" and "my treasure")

Meu docinho de coco (my coconut candy - really old slang, nowadays used only for fun)

Patroa (f) (it means a female boss; not ironic not aggressive, but used by men to describe their wives affectionately, eg. "I can't go today, my patroa is waiting for me at home")

Gato/gatinho (m) / gata/gatinha (f) (cat/little cat; if a person is pretty, they are called a "cat")

Minha vida (my life)

Meu xodó (my crush)

Bebê (baby)

Docinho (sweetie)

Chuchu (honey)

Fofura (cutie)

Querida (dear)

Lindinha (beautiful/cutie)

Meu anjo (my angel)

Mozão or Mor (love, more like slang)

Romanian

Iubi (Sweet heart/darling)

Iubirea mea (my love)

Draga mea (f) / Dragul meu (m) (my dear)

Dulceața mea (jam/honey)

Sufletul meu (my soul)

Suflețel (little soul)

Russian

lyubov' moya / любовь моя (my love)

radost' moya / радость моя (joy of mine)

dusha moya / душа моя (my soul)

schast'e moyo / счастье моё (my happiness)

sokrovishche moyo / сокровище моё (my treasure)

solnyshko / солнышко (sunny)

zolotce / золотце (golden)

lyubimyj (m) + lyubimaya (f) / любимый + любимая (beloved)

dorogoj (m) + dorogaya (f) / дорогой + дорогая (darling, dear)

milyj (m) + milaya (f) / милый + милая (dear but in more informal way)

kotik / котик (kitty) malysh / малыш (baby)

zajchik (m) + zajka (f) / зайчик + зайка (bunny)

ptenchik / птенчик (little bird, hatchling)

rybka moya (f) / рыбка моя (my fish)

Serbian

Sreća(o) moja (my happiness)

Zlato moje (my gold)

Srce moje (my heart)

Život(e) moj (my life)

Duša(o) (my soul)

Slovak

Zlato / zlatko (gold)

Láska (love)

Miláčik (bit cheesy, but means my lovely)

Spanish

Cariño (darling)

Bebé (baby)

Corazón (heart)

Mi amor (my love)

Mi vida (my life)

Cielo (sky)

Amor (love)

Swedish

Sötnos (cute nose)

Älskling (darling)

Tamil

Kanmani [cun-mun-ee] (darling)

Turkish

Aşkım (my loved one)

Canım (my love/soul)

Hayatım (my life)

Bebeğim (my baby)

Kocacığım/karıcığım

(my husband/my wife, but in a more endearing way, you can say it to a person you're not married yet but thinking about marrying)

Her şeyim (my everything)

Yaşama sebebim (my reason to live)

Ceylanım (My gazelle, it's a gorgeous creature like cmon)

Güzel gözlüm (My lover with beautiful eyes)

Nazlı yarim (My coy lover)

Kalbimin sahibi (the owner of my heart)

Güzelim/yakışıklım (my beautiful/my handsome)

Kediciğim (my kitty/kitten)

Biriciğim/bi'tanem (my one and only)

Çiçeğim (my flower)

Balım (my honey) (can also say "bal dudaklım (my lover with honey lips)" if you feeling on fire)

Evimin direği (literally meaning "the post of my house," if you say this to a person (usually your husband), you mean to say that he keeps your household/family up, whether financially or with emotional maturity)

Ukrainian

Mostly romantic:

зіронька [zironʹka] (star)

мій світ [miy svit] (my world)

моє життя [moye zhyttya] (my life)

моє серденько [moye serdenʹko] (my heart)

коханий [kokhanyy](m) /кохана [kokhana] (f) (my beloved one)

милий мій [mylyy miy] (m) / мила моя [myla moya] (f) (my dear one)

любий мій [lyubyy miy] (m) / люба моя [lyuba moya] (f) (my loved one)

мій єдиний [miy yedynyy] (m) /моя єдина [moya yedyna] (f) (my only one)

Mostly between friends:

сонце [sontse], сонечко [sonechko] (sun, sunshine)

пташка [ptashka] (f) (birdie)

душа [dusha] (soul)

друг (m)/ подруга (f) моєї душі [druh (m)/podruha (f) moyeyi dushi] (a friend of my soul)

Urdu

Meri jaan میری جان (my life)

Pyaari پیاری (sweetheart)

Shahzadi شہزادی (f) (princess)

Welsh

Cariad/Nghariad (love)

Let me know more terms of endearment in your languages! And please correct me if I'm wrong somewhere.

Two weeks ago I fell off a horse (or rather, fot thrown off with force) and slammed into the arena wall with my back and right shoulder. What looked very dramatic at first and had me struggling to breathe for a hot minute including a ride in the ambulance to the ER ended up "only" being bad bruising. No broken bones, no internal bleeding. Just a bruised shoulder, ribs, and back.

I was released home the same day after my x-rays came back clear with pain meds.

And let me tell you, I was almost incapacitated by "just" bruises. I barely managed to get around by myself at home. Could barely stand for more than a few minutes bc my back hurt so much. Had to force myself to breathe properly. Had shit lying around on the ground for days bc I couldn't bend down to pick it up.

Getting out of bed in the morning still hurts. Imagine sitting on the toilet and thinking "fuck how am I gonna clean myself up".

It's been two weeks and I'm now finally starting to feel somewhat normal again. I expect to feel some pain for at least two more weeks.

So, uh, if your character gets knocked down good, like, in a fight, they can be totally helpless even without any serious injuries.

just picture it: talvos sitting in the window of his tower, talvos carrying his braid in a basket on his hip as he tends to his plants, talvos re-reading a few carefully hoarded books, talvos who has never seen more of the world than the view from his window. and then into his life flits a fae who goes wherever the wind takes him but who keeps returning to visit again and again, a fae who brings gifts of plants and stolen books and suncatchers he makes for talvos and no one else; a fae who teaches talvos that there is a life outside of his tower and that he can want it.