moonwater protector

request by @/oangebird on tiktok

Regulus: before we start. Mary is exempt because she helped me come up with the ranking. So on the bottom, is Barty. You stole all my chocolate frogs and then lied about it.

Barty: but-

Regulus: silent. Next, Peter. I don’t trust you. Next. Sirius. Still haven’t forgave you for leaving me with our parents for a year.

Sirius: but I helped you get out.

Regulus: which is why you aren’t last. Finishing off the bottom row, Marlene. Nothing against you love, just don’t know you that well.

Marlene: I’ll take it.

Regulus: third row. Evan. You are a great friend, but you indulge in Barty too much.

Evan: we’re dating.

Rugulus: I know. It bumped you down a few spots. Next. James.

James: we’re dating??

Regulus: and? You made me upset yesterday… and I didn’t want to be biased. Next is Lily. We’re becoming wonderful friends and you’re dating my best friend. Hurt her and you will no longer be present on this pyramid.

Lily: ha!! Beat you James

James: this is rigged.

Regulus: second Row. Dorcas and then Dora. I couldn’t really decide who was better. You’re both my best girls so.. it’s more so tied.

Evan: barty and I are your best mates as well!!

Regulus: they never steal my food and lie to me. Finally. At the top of the pyramid. Is Remus.

Sirius: HOW???

Regulus: he is silent and lets me lay on him while we read. He also lets me rant to him about my stupid brother even though you’re dating. A bery great guy… i might steal him if you and James keep acting up.

Remus: fine by me.

Sirius: HOLD ON

⚙️ "Two sides of the same coin, inextricably bound" ⚙️

he's gay. he's terminally ill. he's suicidal. he's from league of legends. he's in a toxic relationship with an orb. he also might be the orb(???). he bullshitted his way into the academy by pretending he went there. he rizzed up a guy so he wouldn't kill himself. he then tried to impress said guy by breaking into his boss's lab. then when he got caught he tried to play it off by saying he thought this big intimidating door was his bedroom door and he was just trying to sneak a guy in there. he nearly died because hetero sex was happening like a mile away. kinda. he took illegal drugs. he's also the apprentice of the guy who's making the illegal drugs and never mentions it. he's inspired off of the tale of frankenstein's monster. he got shot by a missle and fucking died. when he came back to life he immediately broke up his messy gay situationship and became jesus fucking christ.