samibabess

Listen to her

Be loyal

Tell the truth

Smack that ass

Feed her

Let her sleep

Eat the pussy

Play with & suck on her tits

Kiss her a lot

Massage her

into your station,

a creation of duration &

rhythmic gyration

as it chugs along your

I’m not sorry for the bruises on your knees

i promise i’ll make

you drip, you sing—

a stunning solo, a

I don’t know if we will ever see each other again

the first few years after you left me I wanted to

triple knot hang your soul in the darkest depths of hell for eighteen

years & sew its eyes open for a spotlight that would blind the sun & have my ghosts and demons throw knives into every organ

and extremity like they’ve done to me every sand drop

since your heart’s departure

I’ve recently grown to understand that vindication is overrated & in your position I would’ve made the same decision

I’ve learned there’s nothing worse than giving in to the mirror because its implausible whispers become the benchmark of reason

if I happen to see you in thirty years I wish for the following

I wish I could forget the reason you told me you couldn’t leave me when you should’ve & I wish you could forget all the angry mood swings that took hold of my tongue

I lost all your paintings in the many moves since our first apartment & I hope you still find time to fill your journals with nonsense sunshine verses and your walls with your drawings, paintings, & magazine collagings

I still have the tiny ceramic coffee cup you made me that you hated I’ve been looking but I’ve never tasted coffee like the way you make it

I would sip it & trace the shadows we left in each piece every morning remembering the skeletons of words I wrote while you erased lines mixed hues, and scissor glued

I’ve fallen in love twice since you one never treated me right & this one wants to

I hope he looks at you in the same way our eyes connected & he makes you smile bigger than I did before dwarfing it

you cried every time I bouqueted you because you didn’t like to watch beauty wither & sweetheart the sight of your shaking voice in these walls is something I don’t like to watch every night so I hope he makes you feel beautiful with every painted petal

teach Ollie that life is unexpected but worth it and to not nihilistisize

it’s hard to hope without the blanket of something greater I still shiver in the sunlight

so in three decades when we wrinkle and become grey

if we meet I hope you forgive me I know it won’t fix anything but at least I will be able to decompose with a half-smile

knowing you know