Swear Wolves

Mood.

I had a patch with the Jagermeister logo on it for years and didn’t realize it was the Jagermeister logo. I just thought, “Guess that deer’s Catholic,” and put it on my jacket.

In my defence, the moon was full and I was left unsupervised.

The veil is thin here. It’s thin everywhere. Of course it’s fucking thin. Who ever heard of a thick veil? That shit’s lightweight, even sheer.

Like, shit, Agatha. There’s a reason they don’t call it “the down comforter between worlds”.

I CHOKED

One day, you lose your wallet, and it is found by a mob boss, who figures out that you aren’t in such a good place financially, and takes pity on you. So they start anonymously sending cash, clothes, and furniture to you in the mail, eventually, the mob boss sends you a letter to stating that they bought you a house, and it lists an adress. What do you do?

In this economy? Thank them politely, pledge your loyalty, and join the mob.

#ok i understand ppl would take the romancey route here#but imagine the werewolf’s mother#or grandmother#some wizened old woman or middle aged woman#with wrinkles or hands toughened from years of labor#just going out into the woods#where even the men with axes won’t go anymore#and facing down the ravening beast#and saying#it’s time to come home

@thebibliosphere

Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

vampire conspiracy theories, go!

Aesthetic