✨ Iggy Stardust ✨

My friends, that’s versatility!

I looked everywhere and he’s always the second couple or he’s just a sided part of the fanfiction, and no, I want him and him only.

I thing of many of AFTG characters.

But this single piece: “You just think it’s a small thing that happened / The world ended when it happened to me”. It’s Neil’s. And it’s this scene.

(sorry I couldn’t find the artist 🥹)

I’ve read a couple times that people think this is his “break free” moment. The moment he felt that the string of hope was still there and not severed forever. To me that’s not what this is.

That is the moment Neil choose to die. That’s it.

That was the moment he thought, “I’m done”. He chose to live the rest of his life (which was short) instead of making it longer, which it’s not hope.

The thing is, this story kind of wrote itself. After I finished reading the books, a couple of days later it just blossomed in my mind, so I started writing. The characters moved in the directions they (or maybe my unconscious self) wanted, and most of it flowed naturally.

At first, it was supposed to be just a fanfiction about Jean and Jeremy’s growing feelings for each other. Simple, right? But somewhere along the way, I felt the necessity to shove Kevin into it—and now both Jean and I are confused. What was meant to be a straightforward love story has turned into something deeper: a story about Jean’s inner fight to figure out what he truly wants.

The story is about Jean having to deal with his “Raven shadow.” By that I mean he’s living a new life, but his old habits keep creeping back—like the dirty tricks during a game that end up hurting Jeremy a little, or his tendency to shut people out.

At one point, Jean decides it’s time to face this shadow. He begins to play occasionally with Kevin, Neil, and Andrew, thinking it will help them all learn how to work together in the future. But this also dredges up even more of the Raven inside him.

For Jean, Kevin embodies the shadow itself. He’s a ghost of the past, the living symbol of everything that happened. And with Kevin comes Riko—not alive, but like a second reflection in Kevin’s eyes and mannerisms. Seeing that hurts Jean deeply.

On top of that, Jean finds himself torn between his feelings for Jeremy and Kevin. He gets confused by the intensity of it, until Jeremy and Kevin decide to make things easier for him—by letting Jean have both of them.

But this opens another wound. Jean was never allowed to truly have his own things, his own people. So when he sees Kevin interacting with Jeremy, his inner self feels threatened. Jeremy is the brightest person he’s ever had, and Jean wants to keep him close, just like his peaches. Sharing is hard.

Here’s the problem: this fanfiction was supposed to be ending! I originally planned 12 chapters, but I don’t think that’s enough anymore.

Because Jeremy is always pushing that Jean can do whatever he wants after college and that Exy isn’t the only way. And when the Foxes suggest Exy as his future (because they know it is), he’s always there to tell Jean that it could be something else.