soozy

Can’t avoid you in my dreams

You turn up every corner

My unwanted weeds

I can’t shake you off, just let me free

It’s agony, the grip you have on me

What we shared is nothing more than a hazy memory

For myself, I know I wield the key

To moving on, to slowly forgetting you

Yet, my attachment, unwavering, does me no favor

Told I was experiencing a type of stockholm

But they don’t know you’re all I had

And I don’t want to go back to dreaming in only pitch black

Without you, my life is an aimless roam

anyway, had the “ill start monday mindset” and wanted a hurrah and said fck all, but ima fast the rest of this week like i originally planned now and stay locked in. i feel like i keep playing around like i don't rlly want it.. but I DO.. there IS another side!!

i was debating even posting this bc i only said like a day or 2 ago i wanted to start and felt embarrassed but i think i subconsciously wanted to wait for a new week.. zz posted anyway bc want to stay accountable

i wanna start waking up at like 6 to get my steps up and for my morning routine as well!!

fuk depression n fuk feeling like a fat sack of shi, i feel unworthy doing all this for myself but how cruel is MDD for that like?? how can i get better if don't try to change 🙄😾.

gonna try fasting (only dirty fast if need be) for a week!!

ima take this time to hopefully get back into a morning/night routine. ive been a sad ho or wtv so neglected self care :// and broke out badd.. so need that