Scrimmy Bingus and the Crungy Spingus

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

I saw a post on a terf blog before I blocked it from someone being like "Ummm is anybody else really concerned about the rise of antisocial kinks like pissing" and it made me laugh so hard I almost did a little antisocial kink myself

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

milord you really hurt my feelings when you called my zweihander an "oversized butter knife". unless yuou apologize i am going to brood on the roof till my inner turmoil settles.

when we "lose" a cis butch woman because he becomes a trans man or masc you should actually say such things as yay, yippee, or hooray.

You can’t call yourself a leftist if you hate children tbh, like you can choose not to have them or be around them, but outright hating the most marginalised group of people in the world who have absolutely no power or control over the most basic parts of their lives and bodies is a dangerous mentality to have and you need to grow the fuck up and get out of your edgy phase and start treating everyone around you like human beings, even the ones that piss you off.

yk guys I think a lot of ppl when arguing against the death penalty go for a like "people don't deserve death, etc" view and I get why ppl argue for that I rly do! but it doesn't matter. I don't trust the government to do it, I don't trust them to decide who should die, I don't trust them to determine who is mentally competent, I don't trust them to not be bigoted and discriminatory in their practices, I don't trust them to have the right people, I don't trust them to execute it in a humanitarian way. and I've had discussions with ppl who otherwise have similar viewpoints to me in many ways but can think of people they think deserve to die, and I think if abolishing the death penalty is like, a super important cause to u the same way it is to me, the argument u use shouldn't be "well these people deserve to live" (although in some cases I think yeah the death penalty is done to people who totally don't "deserve it") because that's so subjective, it should be "do you trust the government to do it?" like, do you trust the people who cant even fill potholes on your road to determine who should and should not live

"sex should be less stigmatized and talked about more" and "you should always make sure people who dont want to consume sexual media that you present dont have to see it" are two statements that can and should coexist. by the way.