SiouxsiesMusings

Don’t wanna ask questions of the universe. Don’t wanna say yes, and. Don’t wanna love the questions. Don’t wanna be accepting. Don’t wanna face my to-do list. Don’t wanna clean the house. Don’t want the dog to puppy me with his teeth and claws. Don’t wanna feel tired. Don’t wanna always be rushing from thing to thing and having the transitions always, always be stressful. Don’t want anymore junk…

Summer is Over; Autumn is Here

beautiful image from crissysartnheart.blogspot.com

It’s only a matter of minutes until September 23 begins. The internet says that autumn begins at 4:21 am on the 23rd in my time zone. The summer here has been full of beautiful weather, very different from the many years when August was so very hot every day from start to finish.

Now that Toast has come to live with us, I’ve been noticing how the…

The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload

A tiny excerpt from the Diane Rehm show snuck into my consciousness the other day. Diane was out and there was a guest host, and I wasn’t sure it was actually the DR show. A couple days later I looked up the public radio station schedule and was able to find the show again. I was really glad because the guest was the author of the book The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of…

It is day 33 — or maybe 34 — and the rainclouds outside cast an oppressive mask over the parking lot. Caffeine from this morning’s steaming coffee has drained out of my system and I feel sleepy and melancholy.

I spent three hours earlier today picking up trash on the street with five other clients from this place. It was my first time stepping outside in nearly three weeks. Observing the urban…

A New Productivity Tool!

Greg (he of the inspiration for the Hallelujah chorus) mentioned a productivity tool called Simpleology the other day. I had just started using a waiter’s pad to write down everything that occurred to me during the day — things I needed to buy, find, do, return, and try. Simpleology has a feature that works the same as the waiter pad without the inconveniences that go along with a pad of paper…

Singing the Hallelujah Chorus This Morning

Greg is home.

That means that this morning when Kepler was too tired to cooperate and get up, I could do the raspberries on the tummy and put on his socks while Greg protected my back from the puppy who is an excitable boy in the mornings. It means that I could pack a lunch for Kepler while Greg took the dog outside and played catch…

When You’re the ONLY Visitor at Rehab on Family Visitation Night

Last Tuesday, I took my girls and we visited Eli. Tuesdays include a 30-minute session of family education before the hour of visiting. There were about six other families visiting that evening. This week, I was the only person. Not just the only visiting Eli, but the only one visiting ANYONE!

The family education portion was on the topic of re-establishing trust. This seemed like a perfect…

In Which Captain Obvious and His Crew Visit

Major R. E. Minder stopped by today and turned Spotify on for me. “Hello? Is anyone back there? Music is a good thing,” Major Minder said.

Later, while listening to a podcast (the most excellent The One You Feed), the host proclaimed, “Depression doesn’t like a moving target.”

Ergo: Move to music and depression will have much more trouble catching you.

Well, THIS was a red-letter day

If you read my blog, you know Kepler. You may know that he has a limited diet. I console myself with the knowledge that it could be worse, but I often remind myself that it could be better.

I packed his lunch today and put about 4 grapes, halved, into his lunch. (He does not eat grapes. I just thought I’d experiment with trying something new.) When he got home, they were still there, untouched.…

That is all.

Just kidding.

I think it’s been too quiet around here. The transition from the busy summer to the busy school year which hasn’t really ramped up yet has left me bereft and with too much time on my hands. Well, maybe not too much time. Too much solitude. Too much time alone without speaking.

So much time to do all the things that need to get done. Time to organize. Declutter.…

10 Things I learned from my Late Father

Today would have been my father’s 81st birthday, but his kidneys conspired not to let him reach his 75th birthday. My dad is remembered with great love and affection by many, many people. Here are 10 of the top things I learned from my dad.

The beauty of a life lived faithfully to one’s family.

Persistence in continuing to reach for one’s goals, elusive though they may be.

How nice it is to be…

   13 miles. Well, 12.75 miles. My new helmet and my new bike saddle have made riding even more enjoyable. I wish I had remembered to put my fitbit on my shoelaces, but I thought of that at about mile 9. 

The rain held off until I got home and started three minutes later. 

Just a little tired tidbit tonight. 

BTDubs, I do have this other kid

Almost 17 years ago, along came this little girl, the bookend to my eldest, surrounding the two boys. Kepler at that point was not even on the horizon. We had four children for 7 years before he was born. Therefore, SuperGirl was the baby of the family for a long time. I remember noticing how my level of attention toward her changed once Kepler was born, but she was the fourth child and had a…

As Usual, It’s All About Me

Last night, I took my lovely daughters with me to visit Eli for the Tuesday evening visit. Tuesdays include a 30-minute family education session, which is required to get to the visiting hour.

Although the young speaker overused the phrase, “Does that make sense?” by adding it in at the end of most every sentence, he shared some information that is very helpful.

The four stages of recovery. Why…

Top 10 Things I Learned from the Dog Trainer on Sunday

We must initiate giving attention to Toast, not respond to his nudges and barks and requests for attention. This establishes who is the boss.

To extinguish his jumping, we are to stand perfectly still, and look at the ceiling. Toast is learning very quickly that jumping yields absolutely nothing from us. VERY cool to see Kepler implementing this and having it work beautifully.

Kong makes…

The Thin Line Between Solitude and Isolation

Perhaps one of these days I will learn how to write about experiencing depression while it is happening. Currently, though, when I am depressed, I just feel like I’m in one of those dreams where walking is so arduous that I feel I am getting nowhere. I figure there aren’t that many people who want to read a page of words like this.

Ugh.

Ouch.

Whew.

Oops.

Huh.

Dang.

How.

Why.

Pain.

Can’t.

You get…

A Visit to the Cafeteria

Today, at long last, we were permitted to visit Eli at the rehab facility. There are four stages they go through in rehab and stage 1 is complete the day they are formally sentenced to the in-patient facility. Even though he has been there for a few weeks, it wasn’t until Wednesday of this week that he was moved into stage 2, and this is the stage where visits can begin.

I thought the waiting…