AIO that my husband's mom does my laundry every time she visits
She visits about once a month, stays 3-4 days. Every single visit, on day 2, she goes into our laundry room while I'm at work and does whatever's in the hamper. Folds it. Puts it away. In the right drawers. She knows where everything goes because she has been doing this for 4 years. I have asked her to stop 6 different times. Polite at first. Then less polite. Last time I straight up said please do not touch our laundry. She laughed and said oh honey, I just like helping. Then she did it again the next morning.
My husband thinks I'm overreacting because she's just being nice and her love language is acts of service. I think the love language thing stops mattering when the recipient says no 6 times. I was on my phone in bed last night playing grandprize and realized she has touched every piece of underwear I own around 48 times. I have never wanted this and she has been told. She's here this weekend so now I put a small lock on the laundry room door yesterday. My husband saw it and said You really doing this now? but a woman just needs her privacy.
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (68% confidence)
Top comment: “Nor. You asked her to stop. I wouldn't want my mil going into my room and through my drawers.”
Notable explanation: “NOR - On one hand you definitely have a right to privacy and your boundaries don’t have to be agreed with for them to be agreed to. On the other hand, it’s probably coming from a good place and performed by someone who genuinely thinks she is caring for you, even if it’s without your consent.
IMO your best bet is to summon the kindest, most polite parts of your soul and sit this woman down. Maybe take her out for a meal or a coffee or some mimosas. Tell her you appreciate the thought, let her say her piece, and actually listen and digest. Then explain that in spite of her good intentions, it’s not hitting you the way she wants it to. For you, it’s about privacy and it would be a big step forward in your relationship if she could find a way to respect that. Double down on the appreciation afterwards (this is often called serving up a shit sandwich lol) and I’m willing to bet your message gets through.”
Originally shared by One_Land2742 on r/AmIOverreacting on June 2nd, 2026 at 8:11 PM UTC. Credit to u/kykiwibear and u/djjoshuad for the quoted comments.