𝑀𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑃𝑖𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑒

a  part  of  stefan  knew  he  might  be  thinking  a  little  too  far  into  the  future  than  he  should  or  that  he  was  allowing  his  feelings  for  katherine  to  cloud  his  better  judgement.  but,  he  had  never  felt  this  way  before,  not  with  anyone,  and  he  didn't  want  to  let  what  his  father  told  him  or  what  anyone  else  would  to  get  in  the  way  of  something  potentially  truly  amazing.  katherine  stole  his  breath  away  and  everything  that  he  was.  she  was  standing  right  here  in  front  of  him  and  he  had  no  intention  of  letting  her  go...  not  if  she  didn't  want  to.  he  kept  a  hold  of  her  hands,  a  shy  smile  brightening  his  lips  and  heating  his  cheeks,  a  rosy  pink  that  glistened  his  eyes,  ❛  it  can  be,  if  we  wanted  it  to  be...  ❜  he  trailed  off,  his  voice  nervous  and  soft,  like  he  didn't  want  to  pressure  her  into  anything,  but  only  wanted  her  to  know  how  far  he  was  willing  to  go  to  be  with  her.  ❛  you're  right.  we're  not  immortal.  forever  is  impossible,  but  the  rest  of  our  forevers  is  enough  for  me  if  it  is  for  you...  ❜  he  told  her.  he  was  like  a  love-sick  puppy  when  it  came  to  katherine,  but  he  wasn't  embarrassed  by  that  at  all.  it  felt  right  to  speak  his  truth  to  her,  even  if  it  was  a  little  far-fetched.  he  just  hoped  she  felt  the  same.

he  noticed  the  smile  he  was  able  to  entice  out  of  her  with  his  confession  and  it  brought  out  his  own,  stretched  from  ear  to  ear  with  his  heart  seemingly  stopped  in  the  process.  he  wished  he  could  freeze  this  moment  in  time,  but  he  couldn't.  her  smile  faded  and  worry  began  to  crawl  into  his  skin.  then  she  continued  to  explain  and  relief  began  to  wash  back  over  him  when  she  informed  him  that  she  had,  in  fact,  felt  the  same  as  he  did,  ❛  then  if  we  feel  the  same  way,  nothing  can  stop  us  from  being  together  as  much  as  we  want,  ❜  he  insisted,  squeezing  her  hands  again.  her  question  threw  him  off  guard,  though.  her?  not  as  good  of  a  person  he  had  always  thought  she  was?  was  there  something  he  didn't  know  about  her,  lies  she  had  told  of  herself  or  was  this  fear  of  letting  their  relationship  blossom  into  what  they  wished  it  could  be?  he  swallowed  thickly,  shaking  his  head  a  bit  in  disagreement,  ❛  you?  i  cannot  imagine  you  being  any  less  good  than  you  are  now.  where  is  this  coming  from?  ❜  he  asked,  chuckling  in  disbelief.  then  he  sees  true  fear  swallowing  her  eyes  and  his  own  eyes  mirror  it.  she  was  serious.  ❛  i  think  i  would,  miss  katherine.  you've  been  nothing,  but  gracious  and  kind  to  me  and  my  brother.  you've  allowed  me  to  love  you.  what  could  be  so  bad  about  that?  ❜

⠀⠀⠀⠀her heart ached; if only he knew.

⠀⠀⠀⠀a faint smile touched her lips nonetheless, soft and genuine as she squeezed his hands in return. "you make it sound very easy," she murmured as her gaze lowered briefly to their joined hands before lifting back to his face. "the rest of our forevers."

⠀⠀⠀⠀for a fraction of a second, sadness flickered across her features. subtle enough that it might easily be mistaken for tenderness. she did love him. she lived for a very long time by now and knew that what she had with stefan; what she felt for him, was rare. she didn't want to lose this, didn't want to lose him. she wanted to be honest with him but didn't know how she should tell him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"i think i could live with that." katherine simply stated and she meant it. more than he could possibly know.

⠀⠀⠀⠀because despite everything she was, despite the centuries she carried and the secrets buried beneath her skin, the thought of a future with him was one of the very few things that still felt beautiful. dangerously beautiful.

⠀⠀⠀⠀her thumb brushed softly across his knuckles. "and for the record," she continued quietly, warmth returning to her voice, "i can imagine quite a lot when it comes to you, stefan salvatore." a small laugh escaped her. "perhaps more than i should." her eyes softened, brown eyes full of warmth lingered on him. "if it were you... i think i would be willing to do many things i never thought i would."

⠀⠀⠀⠀the statement sounded exactly as any young woman in love might intend it to sound. only she knew how much truth hid beneath it. for him, she was standing here trying to tell the truth instead of simply lying. her smile remained, but there was something fragile beneath it now because every second this conversation continued made the confession harder.

⠀⠀⠀⠀he looked so happy, so hopeful. she feared watching that expression disappear, feared seeing disgust where affection currently lived, feared becoming a monster in his eyes. despite anything, she also was a selfish being. she did not want to lose him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"i care about you very much," she admitted softly before her voice dropped slightly. "and i hope nothing changes that." the confession escaped before she could stop it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀her gaze searched his face again as he struggled to reconcile her words with the version of her he knew. of course he couldn't imagine it. that was the problem. he saw the version, the girl, she could have been if nothing supernatural would have been involved. stefan saw kindness and grace. a young woman who was in love with him. not the vampire hidden beneath all of it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀katherine swallowed subtly, almost imperceptibly. yet for perhaps the first time that evening, genuine nervousness slipped through the cracks of her composure.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"it has nothing to do with you." her head shook lightly. "or your brother." she was quick to reassure him of that much. "you've done nothing wrong." if anything, he had done everything right which only made this harder.

⠀⠀⠀⠀her eyes lowered briefly before lifting again. "but would it still be that simple?" she asked quietly. "if it were something truly terrible?" another pause as though she were testing every step before taking it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"what if i told you i had done things that were morally wrong? things that cannot simply be excused away." she held his gaze, trying so desperately to bridge the distance between truth and fear.

the  silence  that  fell  between  them  for  a  long,  lingering  moment  was  worrisome.  what  was  she  plotting  in  that  little,  devious  brain  of  hers?  then,  she  had  proposed  he'd  do  something  he  never  thought  she  would   —   propose  himself.  what?  where  did  this  come  from?  his  eyes  grew  into  widen  saucers,  completely  taken  by  surprise  that  had  rendered  him  utterly  speechless  in  her  presence.  an  almost  silent  squeak  comes  through  a  quiet  breath,  unable  to  find  the  words  to  respond  to  such  a  grand  request.  but,  before  he  could  say  anything  at  all,  she  breaks  her  serious  expression  and  tells  him  that  it  was  just  a  jest.  a  long,  relieved  breath  is  exhaled  from  his  parted  lips,  shaking  his  head  and  laughing  softly  in  amusement.  ❛  you  have  quite  the  poker  face,  luv.  and  i'll  admit,  for  a  mere  moment  i  questioned  if  i  should  get  on  my  knee  if  it  meant  proving  myself  t'  you.  although,  marriage  is  something  i  don't  exactly  see  in  the  cards  for  me,  ❜  he  responded,  grinning.

enzo  listened  to  her  express  her  distaste  for  the  entire  gilbert  line  and  although  he  didn't  know  much  about  their  history,  he  could  understand  having  a  grudge  against  an  entire  bloodline  for  one  person's  wrong-doings.  it's  how  he  felt  when  it  came  to  the  whitmores.  he  and  damon  had  made  a  pact  that  they  would  destroy  every  single  one  of  their  blood  all  in  the  name  of  revenge.  he  understood  that  part  of  her  and  he'd  never  blame  her  for  it.  ❛  something  we  can  relate  on,  sweet-heart.  what  was  done  once  by  someone  in  the  past  might  always  be  done  from  those  in  the  future...  ❜  he  trailed  off,  raising  his  glass  to  toast  to  her  and  her  survival  instincts  then  proceeding  to  take  a  sip.  he  sat  back  in  his  stool,  his  attention  locked  on  her  as  she  continued  to  speak.  he  was  hoping  inside  that  this  meant  she  was  leaning  towards  the  idea  of  aiding  him  in  escaping  this  prison  forever.  ❛  fortunately,  the  school  year  had  only  started  so  m'  sure  you're  not  expected  t'  know  as  much  as  the  good  doctor  would...  ❜  he  reassured  her.  he  tilted  his  head,  ❛  blonde,  curly,  cheerful,  but  seemingly  bossy,  ❜  he  describes  to  her,  shrugging  a  bit.  ❛  from  what  i  gathered,  't  appeared  they  seemed  t'  be  friends  before  coming  to  the  university,  ❜  he  further  explained.

a  confident  smirk  stretches  enzo's  lips  from  ear  to  ear  in  response  to  her  smooth  compliment.  he  tilts  his  glass  again  towards  her  as  a  gesture  of  gratitude,  ❛  i  appreciated  that,  luv,  ❜  he  replied  at  first,  ❛  fortunately,  there  have  been  ways  to  keep  my  mind  even  a  little  sane  despite  my  circumstances.  being  the  doctor's  favorite  long-time  pet,  i  acquired  special  treatment,  ❜  he  told  her.  he  had  been  given  books  to  pass  the  time  and,  of  course,  small  increments  of  blood  to  keep  him  viable.  he  nodded  in  understanding  to  her  explanation  on  her  desire  to  keep  damon  alive,  shrugging  nonchalantly.  ❛  you  have  my  word  that  no  harm  will  come  t'  the  salvatores...  ❜  he  promised.

❛  i  agree  and  i  intend  on  keeping  my  new  chance  at  life  inconvenience-free  for  as  long  as  possible,  ❜  he  told  her.  ❛  i  believe  his  name  was  jesse.  some  poor  sod  that  was  his  assistant.  poor  lad  had  no  idea  what  was  coming  t'  him...  ❜

⠀⠀⠀⠀"i can see that," she said smoothly. "for a moment there, i thought i might have broken you." there was unmistakable amusement in her voice now. not cruel, merely entertained. she had expected surprise and perhaps alarm, and he did not disappoint. “which, i should point out, is exactly why i suggested it.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀"you were speaking about loyalty and trust; about proving yourself." a delicate shrug followed. "grand declarations tend to reveal how serious people truly are." she let her gaze drift briefly toward the glass in his hand before returning to his face.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"so tell me..." her brow lifted. “if that had genuinely been the only thing capable of convincing me, would you have done it?” would he have gotten down on his knee and come up with a proposal (even though she had not meant marriage)? would he have done it in front of all these people? in public? the question was delivered lightly, though there was curiosity beneath it. she wanted to know where his limits actually were.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"not because i have any interest whatsoever in marriage," she added quickly, dismissing the idea with a small wave of her hand. "believe me, i find the entire institution remarkably unappealing." that was not what she had in mind when she suggested that he could propose. albeit one could argue that it would have been a proposal of a different kind. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀"but the principle itself is interesting," she added, explaining her thought process. "people often claim they would do anything. very few enjoy discovering where that promise actually ends." for a moment she considered him quietly.

⠀⠀⠀⠀the truth was, she had already been weighing the possibility of helping him. not because she trusted him. certainly not that. but because he was interesting. furthermore, he could be useful, potentially. and unlike most people she encountered, he seemed capable of carrying a conversation without boring her to death. that alone was becoming increasingly rare.

⠀⠀⠀⠀his reassurance regarding the university/college earned a faint exhale. "well, that's comforting." a dry smile touched her lips because if anyone expects her to discuss microbiology intelligently, this entire plan is doomed before it begins.

⠀⠀⠀⠀truthfully, she knew very little about universities or colleges at all. she knew only that elena had left mystic falls to attend whitmore college and that enough time had passed for her to settle there. beyond that, the structure of semesters, courses, and academic expectations remained largely irrelevant to her. furthermore, she had to confess that she would not have expected elena gilbert to pursue the sciences.

⠀⠀⠀⠀when enzo described the blonde friend, however, immediate recognition settled across her features. "ah." a knowing look followed. "then i know exactly who you're referring to." caroline forbes. she has a talent for inserting herself into situations regardless of whether they concern her and fortunately, she also possesses a rather habit of surviving them. “i like her.” the words sounded casual enough, though perhaps they carried more meaning than they initially appeared to; implying that she would not like to see her getting in harms way. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀her attention shifted again as he spoke about his time in captivity and that part genuinely surprised her. for a moment she studied him more carefully. "books?" one eyebrow lifted. "how unexpectedly considerate." most people keeping a vampire imprisoned for decades would hardly concern themselves with intellectual stimulation. he was a fascinating being, and it left her wondering if there was more to know about him. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀at the mention of the salvatores, she nodded slightly. "see that you do. i would hate for your newly reclaimed freedom to prove disappointingly brief." would especially damon thank her for it? probably not. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀her smile returned a second later, pleasant enough to make the threat easy to overlook. almost.

⠀⠀⠀⠀the name jesse meant absolutely nothing to her. if enzo intended to remove that particular problem, she had no reason to object.

⠀⠀⠀⠀finally, after several moments of consideration, she extended her hand across the bar toward him. the gesture was deliberate. an agreement, perhaps. or at least the beginning of one.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"fine." her gaze met his directly. "i'll see what i can do." the words were hardly a promise, but they were far more than she typically offered someone she had known for less than a day.

Anonymous asked: who are your top five favorite blogs?

Ohhhhh, nonny. This is a can of worms. You want me to play favorites? On this, the day of my daughter’s wedding? Well, I do have a bunch of people I’m obsessed with, so you’re gonna get more than you bargained for here: I highly suggest everyone follow bc everyone on this list is absolutely fantastic.

@fcntasyadvcnturc / @nifflerstolen : Oh my God, Bee! I've been friends with Bee for years and she's probably one of the muns I talk to the most ooc. Even though we're in hugely different timezones and have such different lives, it never seems to matter. She's so kind, and I love listening to her talk about her life and everything going on inside and outside of the rp world. She's always up for fun new plots, and she's just like me in that if I go 'I want you to write this character' she usually will if she knows who it is lol

@zoomingupthathill / @ofdamnedsouls / @wavrlynatural : Aah! Another Bee! Bee is the absolute sweetest person I've met in my whole life. I have this huge urge to protect her at all costs, and I don't care how weird that sounds Bee deserves the entire world to be served to her on a silver platter. I've never seen someone write Max as well as Bee does (no offense to anyone else), and I can hear Alex's voice every time she writes her! It's such a gift to be able to see all the amazing things she does, and be able to call her my friend.

@survivingpierce / @deceptivemorals / @touchedbydestiny : I love Cathy. She really challenges me with my writing (we only have one thread right now because it's so long and I want every reply to be so good that it takes me years to reply), and I love our plots so far so so much! I'm really excited to interact with her other characters as well! She does so well with Katherine, I just can't imagine her not writing a top-tier character, honestly.

@dcvium : Lewind is more of a new friend, we haven't done a ton together yet, but I'm really excited to get to know Nimue more. Also, she's so fucking creative? Like come on. A character named Nimue who's afraid of lakes? That shit is top tier. I love it.

@canclled : Dibbles is such a fantastic human being. I cannot recommend following Pluto enough. She has such creative characters and is so easy to talk to. You can really plot anything with Pluto and it's always fun to see how things turn out! It's also just incredibly fun to read other interactions on their blogs? Which I love.

Then a few more that I’ve either made big posts about in the past or that are just constantly on my list to suggest to people bc I love them: @snnydcys / @snnynatural - Lumi is an absolute sweetheart and I’m her biggest fan tbh. @dearsgcd - Ceejayyyyyyy! So amazing, so many characters, highly recommend. @regiinae - Hallie is my fucking sister, okay? And if you're looking for a good Regina George to write with, this is 100% my suggestion. @gracedead / @d1rtyair - I absolutely fucking adore Charli. I will never not be a Charli stan. @leftdaggered - Special shout out to Ryn as well, who I'm just getting to know but I love so far! And there are so many more people, but I'm honestly blanking right now and I'm already at 10 when you only asked for 5 so...

he couldn’t even defend himself. Katherine was right, and Elijah knew it. He also had no choice when he began a vampire. It had been his father and mother who forced it on himself and his siblings, and realizing he had not allowed Katherine a choice in her own fate and made him feel awful ❝i know, and there’s no excuse❞ he did not want to be right, because what would that get him?

❝i was a coward Katarina. I had lived so long with the feeling i had to choose my family over everything, over everyone. I had to decide what was best for them, and yes i also wanted to save your life. I made mistakes, i wish i could go back, i wish i could’ve stopped it, instead of just picking the spell from the witch. I would do anything so that you could have the life you want and deserve because i love you Katarina. Even if you wanted to walk away from me, i still would do anything to give you that life, even if it meant away from me❞

What else could he say? What else could he do? He has laid it all out for her, and if she was still unsure, and that would be her choice. He would never bother her again. But he made the mistake twice of not choosing her, and choosing his brother and he had never been so miserable

He wanted to go back and change it all. If time travel was possible, he would have done it, given her the choice and even if Klaus had kept him in a box, or worse actually killed him, then he could at least go knowing Katarina was happy with whatever life she had chosen 

He stepped closer hearing her words ❝i can not lie and say I'll never make mistakes, but I will do everything in my power to be the kind of man you deserve and want. Give you the life where you can be happy. Because I know I'm happiest when I'm with you ❞

⠀⠀⠀⠀she couldn't understand how he could have done something like this. not even the lying or choosing his brother over a woman he had only known for a few weeks. she didn't understand how he could gamble with her life at all even though he claimed that he felt something for her.

⠀⠀⠀⠀her brows pulled together tighter, genuine confusion threading through the emotion now. "how could you trust uncertainty with something irreversible? with someone else’s existence. you speak of it now as though the possibility of losing me terrified you, but at the time..." a small shake of her head followed. "you still allowed the risk to exist."  it hurt in ways she had not expected. because if he had never cared, if she had only been collateral damage to him, then perhaps it would have been simpler to dismiss. but this? knowing there had been love beneath it made the wound stranger somehow. deeper.

⠀⠀⠀⠀when he stepped closer, she did not move away, though tension remained visible in the set of her shoulders. "and now i am supposed to live with this knowledge," she murmured. "that there was another path. another version of my life somewhere just beyond reach." her throat tightened faintly around the words. "do you understand how cruel that feels? knowing i might never have become this person at all?" a humorless breath left her softly. "that perhaps i could have remained someone untouched by all of the tragedy that i endured?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀"the worst part is that i want to believe you," she admitted. "i want to believe that if such a moment ever came again, you would choose differently this time. that you would not sacrifice me for the sake of keeping peace within your family." her expression faltered slightly there, vulnerability surfacing despite herself. "but i do not know how to silence the part of me that remembers you already did."