Or hell…

I can't escape him

you cant fuck the grinch. he really is a heel. hes as cuddly as a cactus. hes as charming as an eel. hes a bad banana with a greasy black peel. hes a monster. his heart’s an empty hole. his brain is full of spiders. hes got garlic in his soul. you shouldnt touch him with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. hes a vile one, old friend old pal. he has termites in his smile. he has all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. given the choice between the two of them you should take the seasick crocodile (you cant fuck that either). hes a foul one. hes a nasty, wasty skunk. his heart is full of unwashed socks. his soul is full of gunk. the three words that best describe him are, and i quote: “stink. stank. stunk.” hes a rotter. hes the king of sinful sots. his heart’s a dead tomato splot with mouldy purple spots. his soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots. he should nauseate you, buddy. with a nauseas super-naus. he’s a crooked jerky jockey and he drives a crooked horse. old chum of mine, he’s a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.

Cranky Kong’s closing comments in the Donkey Kong 64 manual.

It looks so resigned to its fate. I half expect it to go “It’s a living!” followed by laugh-track a la the Flintstones. 

when’s my Grinch reboot

real winnie the pooh drinking honey 

Through! Coming out! Look

(Please excuse the black and white filter over the image. Tumblr continuously automatically flagged full-color footage from this video as inappropriate content, with the monochrome filter being the only way I could upload it without being flagged.) Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Store | Small Findings | Source