bleeding out;

Dani felt… To be honest, she wasn’t sure how she felt. Being back at home after everything that had happened, it was strange. The hallways felt smaller, and every move that she made was scrutinized. She felt the need to do her best, to be the best daughter she could be. Jeanette and Lauren were careful around her, she could tell. They kept their voices hushed and often played the radio so that Dani wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop. She had no clue, but after a while, she decided not to care. If it was about her, well…. It didn’t matter. What had happened happened and there was no hiding it. Their refusal to bring it up, and the anger that the two of them showed her, even now, was not absent. It still festered, but she pushed it as best as she could. What other choice did she have? The anger she felt was still there, and she hated compromising with them, but they were her mothers. They loved her. They would love her through anything. 

It took awhile to feel freedom, but eventually it came. She’d been confined to her room for a week. Whether out of her own stubbornness or fear, she wasn’t sure. But now? Now, she felt like she could leave without feeling like the doors and windows would be bolted shut once she returned. She squinted as she drove, a familiar face passing by. Dani stopped her truck and turned around. An awkward movement for a big truck on a small road. She continued driving until she pulled up next to Kyle. “You run now?” She asked with a laugh. Dani matched his pace and came to a stop. “You know, there are hiking trails for this. Why the hell are you using the road?” This was normal. This was good. 

Why Kyle had picked up smoking again, he didn’t know. Or, well, he did know. It was because he worked at a bar and got more time to spend on break if he smoked. Something about the deep breathing and the buzz of nicotine in his system helped him calm down, too. But now, jogging, he was definitely breathing a little heavier than he had been a month or so ago. Still, the need to get out of his own head could be easily accomplished by running until he was too tired to think anymore. He was nearing that point, seven songs deep into the playing of a My Chemical Romance album, when he saw a truck pass. It looked like Dani’s truck, and it sure sounded like Dani’s truck. When he heard a voice call out and turned to see the truck driving even paced with his jogging, he knew it was Dani. 

Kyle slowed to a stop, panting as he pulled out his earbuds and stretched. “Yeah,” he said, voice strained as he stretched, “I run sometimes. It’s—I don’t know why. Now I’m sweaty and tired.” Once he was satisfied with the stretching, he made his way over to Dani’s truck and leaned his arms on the window frame. “I use the hiking trails, too! But when have you ever known me to follow the rules?” he chuckled and grinned at Dani. “What’re you up to?”

Dani checked the rearview mirror to see if anybody would be pulling up on them, but it seemed like they were alone. She held the steering wheel, the hum of the truck’s engine evident in the way that her fingers felt numb from the constant vibration. “You look sweaty. At least you don’t smell like before.” She wrinkled her nose. “Are you saying that meaning school, or meaning the time that you cheated while we were playing Pokemon?” She arched a brow and leaned back in her seat, finally dropping her hands from the steering wheel into her lap. She held her foot on the brake instead of putting the truck into park. 

“Me?” She looked ahead at the road and shrugged. She had a lot of things to do, but elected to ignore them. It was daytime, not much slaying to be had while the sun was still up. Though, she knew her mom would scold her for such a thought. You could at least be training, you could be studying the materials handed over by scribes, you could be sharpening your knives, you could be-- “Not much.” She glanced over at the bag on her passenger side seat and pulled it into her lap before rifling through it. She pulled out her phone to check the time since her radio was out of operation again. “Still have a few hours before I have to be home…” She looked back over at Kyle with a smile, shaking her phone in the air. “Do you want to hang out? Or are you going to reassume your position as Ultimate Stink Bug?” 

“Hey!” Kyle said, pouting. “I did not choose to be stinky. I had stinkiness thrust upon me by an ill-fated fart rabbit thing.” He crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl, but the look didn’t last long. As Dani mentioned Pokémon, Kyle’s face lit up and he barked a laugh. “I didn’t cheat! Not my fault you’re a sore loser, Edwards.” It felt nice to be able to tease her, like there weren’t years between them, and thousands of changes that they couldn’t begin to explain to one another. It felt nice to feel normal. Human, even. Kyle rocked from his heels to the balls of his feet, watching Dani check her phone. He grinned with an air of mischief as she asked him to hang out. 

Kyle looked at his bare wrist and clicked his tongue. “You know, it’s a quarter-past, and I’ve got so much on my schedule. Like...nothing. Like, so much nothing that you would almost think it’s something. I’m free as can be soooo…” He tugged a small drawstring bag off his shoulder and went around to the other side of the truck, pulling the door open. “Your place or mine?” he asked, positively beaming at her. 

“Ill-fated fart rabbit,” Dani laughed, nodding her head, “alright, that’s what we’ll call it.” Dani shoved her phone back into her bag and rolled her eyes at his insistence that he hadn’t cheated. “Right. You were taking advantage that I didn’t even know what the fuck those little ball cards did, right?” She had always loved playing the ones that looked like they were on fire. It’d been awhile since she’d last seen Kyle, and even longer since she felt any kind of normalcy. There was no request to be any kind of body guard here. There was no bantering back and forth about what made who a murderer. She wasn’t looked at as if she had dug through Hell and dredged out all that was terrible, all that was awful. Kyle looked at her normally, and it… felt nice. 

The smile Kyle wore was infectious, and soon, she found it tugging at her own lips. “Quarter past stink-o-clock, you mean?” She glanced over at her passenger seat. It was covered with a tapestry now, plain black, to cover the blood stains that both she and Bex had left over their last few encounters. She had scrubbed as hard as she could, but some carnage was hard to get rid of. On the floor were brand new rubber mats and she hoped the bleach would be enough to offset any kind of lingering odor. “I’ve been at home for like, forever. Plus I want to see where Kyle the bartender lives.” She grinned at him before putting the truck into drive. She rolled down her window and stuck her arm out, hand coming to grip the lip of her door. “So,” She looked over at him with a smile, and she was surprised at how easy it felt. “What’ve you been up to?” After a moment, she flicked her blinker on as she pulled up to a light. “Wait,” Dani laughed, “where do you live?” 

“Do not call them ‘little ball cards!’” Kyle groaned. “I have failed in teaching you, or else you’re a very bad student,” he swatted at her playfully. “You’re a lost cause. You’ll never be a true Pokémon Master.” He sighed dramatically as he flopped into the passenger’s seat. If he noticed anything amiss, he said nothing. He dropped his bag on the floor and buckled up. “Alright, my place it is,” he said, still wearing a grin. He tried not to let the ‘bartender’ comment affect him, but he sucked in air through his teeth, and shook his head. “About that, uh, not working at the bar right now. Turns out I’m too much for them.” Or at least, an uncontrolled werewolf was too much for a supernatural bar trying to maintain a hint of secrecy. “Fair enough,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “I’ll find something else.”

As they stopped at the light and Dani asked where he lived, Kyle realized with a start that she wouldn’t know because he’d never had her over. “Oh!” He looked at the intersection briefly. “Yeah, turn here. I live on the edge of Downtown? It’s, like, close to the Bend, but it’s a pretty safe neighborhood!” As safe as a neighborhood housing a handful of supernaturals can be, he thought. But, in White Crest, couldn’t that be any neighborhood? “I haven’t really cleaned up, so you can’t judge me, but I think it’s not too bad.” He definitely had a hamper spilling over with dirty laundry, and a sink full of dishes, and probably more than a little fur piling up under furniture (the risks of shifting in your own apartment, he supposed). But it was better than when Nell had started coming over. Presentable enough, and he could explain away anything. “You remember my fish, Scott, right? He’s gotten big!”

“Oh no,” Dani feigned sadness, “whatever will I do.” Dani knew what Kyle’s card games had meant to him while growing up, and it was endearing that they still meant something to him now. She’d fallen into step with him, only a little. At least, up until she’d been expected to pour her entirety into her training. She’d never been upset about it. Dani understood that as a hunter, she had a duty to protect those around her. Kyle, and the rest of White Crest, were dependent upon those like her. If she had spent all of her time playing Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh!, then where would she be now? “Shit,” Dani glanced over at him, “sorry. I didn’t know.” She felt a pang of guilt wind in her stomach and she cleared her throat. “Fuck that place though, if they didn’t want you, I mean.” The hunter gripped her steering wheel tightly with one hand. “I’m sure you’ll find something better or whatever.” 

The light turned green and as Kyle gave his directions, she nodded. She knew White Crest like the back of her hand. It wasn’t hard for her to navigate. She knew each street, each bend, each territory. She knew the bad spots from the good spots, she knew it all. “Got it.” She shot him another smile before she turned her truck towards the Bend. It wasn’t that far from where they currently were, but it wasn’t exactly close either. “Huh? Don’t worry about that.” She tapped her fingers against the side of her door. “You should’ve seen my truck before I cleaned it out the other day.” She rolled her eyes. She had lived in it for a few days, maybe even a week, and it… wasn’t pretty. “Scott? You still have that thing?” Dani turned again, then kept straight. Trees blurred past them as she drove. “Or, I mean-- little guy? Big guy?” She offered with a laugh.

“That’s the goal,” Kyle said, nodding. “Something better or whatever. Anyway, not a huge deal.” It was most certainly a huge deal, but he didn’t want Dani worrying about him. If she worried too much, she might start asking questions, and that was just not an option. “Maybe I can be like a professional Twitch streamer,” he joked. “I just need to get good at literally any video game at all, and I’m all set!” He laughed as he said it, shaking his head. “What have you been up to anyway?”

Kyle relaxed into the seat as Dani drove. It felt like home in a way he couldn’t explain. “Your truck looks pretty nice,” he said, then amended with, “well, as nice as it’s able to look.” He was surprised the damn thing was still running. What magic had Dani imbibed it with to keep it trudging along, he would never know. The thing was an absolute dinosaur and it sounded like it was on its last leg, but still it ran. “He’s a big guy now. The rest of the fish died, but Scott is still going strong. I didn’t know, but those little sucker guys live for like fifteen years if you do it right.” He had bought the fish, a common pleco, along with the tank back in middle school. It was surprising, at the very least, that the fish had survived as long as it did. It had a few things in common with Dani’s truck, it seemed. 

If you say so, Dani wanted to say. Instead, she kept her mouth shut. “A twitch streamer?” She arched her brow. She didn’t want to sound stupid by asking what that meant. So she simply nodded. “Sure. You can. Twitch…?” She gave him a small sideways glance. It still felt weird, pretending that her home life wasn’t currently falling apart, but it was nice, she reminded herself. Not everything had to be cruel. “Why don’t you become a professional Pokemon card player? Or Yu-Gi-Oh?” She made another turn as she came up to the last intersection. “Me?” She shook her head, not wanting to dive headfirst into all the bullshit she’d been thrown into. That she had gotten herself into. She neglected, too, to think about all of the things that her friends had gotten themselves into and the worry that they had caused her. So she decided on a simple answer. “Just… school stuff.” She shrugged awkwardly. 

They were about five minutes out from Kyle’s apartment now. Dani stretched her opposite leg against the side of the door and let out a laugh. “Hey, fuck off!” She patted the outside of her door with her hand as she dropped it down. “It gets me where I need to go.” It has saved my life more than a few times, Dani wanted to admit. “Besides, it’s roomy. Perfect for stargazing and all that shit, you know? Like in the back.” There were compartments everywhere with hidden weapons and rations-- the kind that had come in handy when she’d excommunicated herself. Dani made the last turn into the parking lot of Kyle’s apartment complex and pulled into a parking lot far enough away from the other vehicles so as to not be blamed for any kinds of scratches that they already had. “Well, I can’t wait to see him.” She rolled up her window manually and slid out of her truck. “I might have an extra tank somewhere, too, if you need something bigger?” She didn’t bother locking her truck. Nobody would be able to find anything to steal, try as they might. “It’s from when I tried to talk my parents into letting me get a fish. I bought everything and they still told me no.” She rolled her eyes. Dani stood to the side and waited for Kyle to lead the way up to his apartment. 

Kyle laughed, shaking his head as he looked at Dani. “Do you even know what Twitch is? You’re such a grandmother now!” He twisted in his seat to face Dani, and dropped his head back against the headrest. “Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! don’t pay as well as video gaming does. Or so I’ve heard.” He shrugged, still smiling at her. It was nice to fall into this so easily. It was nice to not worry about Dani. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. When she brushed off what she had been up to, he felt a little jolt of worry in his chest. There was no real reason to be worried, though, or at least it didn’t feel like a real reason to be worried. 

“How many times out of ten does this truck actually get you anywhere?” Kyle challenged with a raised eyebrow. “It sounds like the only place you should go with this truck is the scrap yard.” His words aside, Kyle craned his neck to look at the bed of the truck. He could imagine them laying together in the truck bed, pointing out constellations and poking fun at one another. It could be a sweet moment. “Who stargazes?” he said, wrinkling his nose. He couldn’t let Dani have a win in this shitty death trap she called a truck. Even if it would be pretty nice. 

Hopping out of the truck once they were parked, Kyle slung his bag over his shoulder. “The tank I have him in now has room to grow, but I’ll keep that in mind,” he said and tapped his temple for added emphasis. “C’mon, the elevator is down again and I live on the third floor. Sorry ‘bout that.” He started walking in front of Dani, leading her up to his apartment. 

The building had seen better days and was in a sorry state for the most part. The carpet was dingy and held an odor of years gone by. The lights in the narrow stairwell flickered and buzzed as they ascended. Kyle’s door was unlocked, and he shouldered it open as they arrived. “Welcome to the casa de Kyle,” he said, holding the door open for Dani with a mock bow. The entire building held a humid heat, but Kyle’s in-window  air conditioner did a pretty good job of keeping the apartment at a decent temperature. He hadn’t tidied up in a minute, so there was general clutter everywhere—dishes in the sink, hoodies on the couch, half-drank glasses of water dotted throughout the apartment. “Uh, sorry,” he said, scratching at the back of his head. “I’ve been meaning to clean.”

Dani rolled her eyes at Kyle’s comment about her being a grandma. She wouldn’t dare touch on that, not when she knew she was out of reach in all things pop culture. There were a lot of times that she felt left out, especially when it came to references. It never bothered her, not really, but she always became slightly annoyed when things were referenced that she couldn’t speak on. “Ha-Ha, funny. You think you’re funny.” Dani didn’t mention that she knew nothing about Twitch, but she made a mental note to check what it was all about after she and Kyle were done hanging out. “This truck,” Dani emphasized, “gets me to the necessary places.” It wouldn’t get her past the border of Maine, but it’d sure as hell try. She put enough TLC into it to know its limits, but knew that it always seemed to pull through on a bad day. A new car wasn’t necessarily in the cards. Not at the moment. Her longboard came in handy when the truck was in the shop, and now that it was warmer, she often opted out of driving for her board regardless. “Who doesn’t stargaze, dude?” She shot him another grin before she finally readjusted her gaze on the apartment building. Kyle had called it shitty, but on the outside it… didn’t look terrible. 

For the first time in a long time, Dani felt a flutter of nerves. She felt like they were in middle school again. Kyle leading the way to a world Dani knew nothing about-- card games, video games, all of it. She cleared her throat when he told her that they’d have stairs to climb. “You’re that out of shape?” She cut him a sarcastic smile before she followed him into the hallway and up the stairs. They were easy enough for her, her own agility and constant routine of training and hitting the gym preparing her for a few steps, if not more. She could probably climb to the top of the building 5 times over with ease, if needed. 

Her brows pulled together in concern when he merely pushed the door open. “You don’t lock it?” She asked as she walked in. She wasn’t sure what she expected Kyle’s apartment to look like, but she had anticipated more cans of Monster Energy drinks and Yu-Gi-Oh! cards to litter the coffee table. At his mock-bow, Dani returned a mock-curtsey and immediately straightened herself. Why the hell did you do that, idiot. She looked past him to the tank that Scott puttered around in, small bubbles of air lifting from the filter. “Why are you apologizing?” Dani leaned down to get a look at Scott, her smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “You live here, it’s not like I’m going to judge your choice of decor.” She picked up a slightly rumpled manga and held it up. “How many of these do you have?” She didn’t recognize the title, but the art looked… interesting. Lots of action. She flipped it over to read the back idly, not really paying attention to the words that her eyes darted across before she put it back down from where she got it. 

At the comment about being out of shape, Kyle swatted at Dani. “Wow, we’re both comedians,” he teased. “I was concerned about you. You seemed so against running, you know.” Kyle would be lying if he wasn’t nervous about Dani being in his space. This felt too close. He could almost feel the walls getting closer together with her added presence. What would happen if he freaked out now? What would happen if he attacked her? He had to force himself to think of anything but that. 

His eyebrows raised when Dani curtsied. “A proper lady, aren’t we?” he said, shooting her a lopsided grin. “I’m gonna get changed really quick. Make yourself at home.” He tugged off his tank top as he walked away through the kitchen, revealing the line of moon phases tattooed along his back. “Be right back,” he called over his shoulder. 

“I run. Just… not on the side of the street.” Middle school lingered in the back of her mind as she looked over at him. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but Dani didn’t bother to dwell on it. It was pointless. It was the past, and this was now. After a few years, they were returning to a friendship that had teetered out due to timing and purpose; though, Dani was ignorant to the fact that it hadn’t only been hers that had cut their ties. 

“Only when I’m bowed to,” Dani commented, grin still intact. She finally tore her gaze back to take a look at Scott who bopped around his tank, his fins maneuvering through the water with ease. There was a part of her that was jealous of Kyle. He wanted a fish, and so he had gotten one. Of course, he had it for a while, and he had imparted loss from those who hadn’t survived, but he still had a fish and she didn’t. She frowned at the tank for a moment. When he mentioned going to change, she waved him off, giving him a once over as she noticed his shirt coming off. She felt the tips of her ears burn and she looked away quickly, back at the tank. Once she heard the door close, she peeked around the edge of the hallway and let out a breath. Idiot, she thought to herself again as she looked out the window. She stared at her truck as a gust of wind shook deep green leaves into the back of her truck. 

Finally, she looked back to the fish that continued to putter around its tank before she ventured further into the kitchen, taking note of the empty glasses of water that littered the countertops. She could hear the sound of Kyle moving in the other room with ease, but elected to ignore it. Dani looked at the fridge, a small laugh bubbling past her lips as she took note of the magnets. “Is this really a Yu-Gi-Oh! Magnet?” She asked loud enough for him to hear, “where the hell did you get that?” She looked into one of the open cabinets, a small frown pulling at the corners of her lips as she took note of the lack of food stored there. Maybe she’d bring him food the next time she saw him. Whenever that’d be. Would she see him again? Would they hang out again? 

“Ah, you follow the laws and rules, huh?” he teased, and shook his head. “You really need to get out more, don’t you?”

Once in his room, Kyle replaced his sweaty ensemble for a clean one. As Dani spoke to him through the door, he swung it open. He was still tugging his shirt down, his stomach exposed, as he scowled at her. “From the comic book store where I buy all my cards,” he said. “I should’ve known you would be snooping,” he said, adjusting his shirt fully. He shooed her from his cabinets. “I need to go grocery shopping, otherwise I’d offer to make you food.” That wasn’t a total lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth. He would offer to make her some pizza rolls, but cooking was a tall order. He wasn’t exactly skilled in it.

“When I said, ‘Make yourself at home,’ I meant sit down and vibe, not peruse my pantry,” he said, the scowl finally dropping as he cracked a smile. “What do you want to do? I have games and movies, I have Netflix—er, my dad has Netflix, but you know what I mean.” 

“All your cards, huh?” Dani’s back was still turned to him when he left his room, the sound of his footsteps following her to where she stood in the kitchen. “I’m not snooping,” Dani said with a roll of her eyes as she turned around to face him. “You look less sweaty now. Congratulations.” She fought the urge to stick out her tongue like a petulant child who’d been caught doing something she knew she wasn’t supposed to do. Instead, she crossed her arms and offered him another sarcastic smile, adorned with a perfect second eye roll. He shooed her away and she let out a dramatic sigh as she padded into the living room again. “I was just judging your choice of ravioli.” Not that her parents ever let her eat canned ravioli, but she could still make a comment at the low sodium packaging. “And it’s whatever. I don’t need you to make me anything, I ate before we ran into each other.” It wasn’t a necessary lie, but it was one she felt like she needed to tell to ease Kyle’s nerves, if he had any. 

“I mean, isn’t making yourself at home sort of like, looking at the kitchen and figuring out what to eat?” The only houses she’d ever really ever been at were Nell’s, Athena’s, and Milo’s, while growing up. She’d always been too polite to go looking, but now it felt different. Now she was older, and sidled with a lot more curiosity than before. She dropped her arms from around herself and placed them on her hips as she looked down at the console that sat beneath the television. “What kind of games?” She looked over at him, a playful smirk beginning to dance along the corners of her lips. She collapsed down next to the t.v. and began to rifle through the disks before stopping on Tomb Raider. “Oh shit,” Dani flipped the case over and looked at the details. “I think I saw this on one of the t.v’s at the store, and some kid was playing it. It looked pretty cool.” She looked up at Kyle with childlike wonder and held out the case, shaking it at him as if a child who needed help. “Let's play this one. I can watch you, if you want.” 

“Thanks, I try hard not to be sweaty,” Kyle quipped with a smirk. He mimicked her posture, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly and rolling his eyes. As they shuffled into the living room, he grabbed one of the many glasses of water off the counter and sipped it. “You’re judging my ravioli?” he asked with a brow raised. “What did Chef Boyardee ever do to you?” He dropped down onto the couch and draped an arm across the back. It was easy to feel comfortable with Dani. When Nell had first come over, Kyle had been a bundle of nerves. He felt like he had to be cooler for her or at least less visibly awkward. Dani didn’t carry that sort of pressure. Things felt natural and familiar. Like a warm blanket straight out the wash. Kyle crossed one leg over the other and tried not to think about how he and Bex could have been this soft if things hadn’t gone so wrong so fast. 

“Ah, Tomb Raider. A decent choice,” he said, setting his glass aside and popping open the case. “You’re not much of a gamer, are you?” he asked as he readied the Xbox. “You don’t strike me as Dani Edwards, slayer extraordinaire when it comes to Lara Croft.” He wanted to say that Lara Croft and Dani were both hot in the same way, but he held his tongue. 

“Who’s--” Dani’s eyes narrowed, then she remembered the label. Right. “Didn’t do anything. I’m just wondering why you’re so concerned about your salt intake.” She recalled him stating that he worked a shitty job which meant he probably got shitty pay. Dani made a note that the next time she saw him, she’d bring him some of the leftover tamales, and literally anything else that Jeanette and Lauren had made too much of-- the stuff that’d go untouched until they remembered it was deep in the freezer. 

Dani leaned back and splayed her hands behind her back. “No, I’m not.” She’d never been allowed to have a gaming console. They were a waste of time. A distraction. The only things she’d learned about them had been from when she’d go to Milo’s, and even then. The memory of him, of the way that things used to be, it was like a knife twisting into her gut. She cleared her throat and feigned a cough into her shoulder before pointing to the t.v. Her hand froze at Kyle’s sentence. She looked over at him, her hair standing at the back of her neck. “What was that?” She asked, reaching over to shove his leg. There was no way he knew. Absolutely not. Had Bex told him? Would Bex do that to her? She felt her insides twist again, this time for a different reason. She decided to let it fall away, to ease back into the conversation. The thoughts she had, they came in split seconds and they’d go missed, unless Kyle had magically become more observant of his surroundings, which she didn’t think he had. “So are you going to show me how to play it or not?” Dani curled her knees towards her chest and rested her chin on them. “If you’re bad, I’m revoking your gamer boy card.” Not that she knew what that meant-- she’d just heard her classmates make jokes about gamer girls and gamer boys, and she wanted in on the fun. Guilt spiraled for wasting her time, for not doing something more with her time.

Huffing a sigh, Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. “The low salt canned pastas were on sale. I have Spaghettios, too.” He didn’t want to get defensive over money, or his current lack thereof, so he pouted and tried to brush it off as a joke. “The low sodium makes up for all the ramen I eat.”

If Kyle noticed Dani’s brief reaction to his words, he said nothing. “I’m just saying, you don’t strike me as a gamer!” Playfully, he pushed back at her. It felt good to just hang out with someone like this. It felt nice to not have to worry about what specific types of supernatural creatures the two of them were. They could be human friends for right now, play video games, and laugh. “Okay, okay,” he chuckled, starting up the game. “You can’t revoke my gamer card unless you can beat me.” He stuck his tongue out at Dani. “Are you ready to learn?”