me, dumping a load of freshly washed but unfolded laundry on my bed: boy i’m sure gonna be pissed about this when i want to go to bed

the melodic sound of skipping an ad in a podcast

“(music sting) hey Jason, do you know what I li..me..by..ha..sh...no...la..do..SquareSpa..ma..you...code...for...he...—come back, I went to the doctor yesterday and it doesn’t look good”

You know, it’s almost like that was the fucking problem in the first place you stupid bastards

Fun fact y’all, the reason why so many Ancient Greek and Roman statues have tiny genitalia was because large ones were associated with stupidity, ugliness, and foolishness. Smaller penises meant rationality, wisdom, and authority. If you look for ancient statues of well-known horny and mischievous figures like Pan, they have hella large dicks.

i’m stupid and my meat is huge

himbos

friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it’s the stress