I want to be a white dad in a horror movie

Currently moving my brunette wife and our dejected children into an abandoned ghost factory for a fresh start

Honey, don't worry about our daughter's new habit of standing in front of the security camera in her playroom and murmuring about bones every night. That's probably just something women do

Why shouldn't our son play in the pitch black sub-basement that was walled shut with bricks until I started renovations? He's a growing boy

Finally caving to my wife's irrational fear and typing "ghosts?" into the Google search bar

all the people coming back to spnblr on november fifth are like people going to church only for christmas

beastie boys music is funny as hell one of them will say a line and then the other two will say a completely unrelated line

"met with a girl and she sucked my COCK. sedimentary is a type of ROCK"

You can skip to the next post instnatly with the J key

... this was supposed to be a helpful tip on another post, now it looks like I'm being really aggressive about a random post about the beastie boys

Tumblr conversations are funny as hell one of them will say a line and then the other two will say a completely unrelated line

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

you will see newborn people with not even a single life experience in the replies of tumblr posts

sometimes the tragedy of distance is very simple. i want to get groceries with you

lowkey all the leaves are brown and the sky is grey

thats what the whole show is about dumbass. breaking=bad

we all talk about doing it scared doing it alone doing it weird etc. but the the hideously awful truth is that you also often have to do it stupid

doing it stupid is the only way to get less stupid. you'd think this would be obvious by now, but you see the thing is. i'm stupid.

Thank you for this! ^