Star’s Blog

I don't think I'll ever forget how I felt checking my phone, it was 11:58, to see from my deadpan, stoic friend a text saying I love you so much I'm on campus and I heard gunshots everyone stay safe. It was so shocking I thought it was joke. Then minutes later I got a notification that there was an active shooter on campus. I never thought this is something that could happen near me, to the people around me. And it was terrifying. The first 10 minutes all I could do was sob and cry while I texted her hearing updates about the photos being sent of students bloody on the ground, rumors of multiple shooters, updates when the cops could getting on the site. It all felt so slow like any moment I could lose her. Nearly 3 hours after the shooting started my best friend was finally released from her evacuation and I instantly got in my car to drive to campus. She had two girls who were group members for the project she was working on with her that also needed rides back home. the building their classroom was in had been deemed a crime scene and they couldn't grab anything past what they were already holding. One of them was in the back crying telling me how she needed to get to her friend's house to carpool to the hospital because one of her close friends had been shot in the shoulder. Both my friend and her group partner were so shell shocked over the whole situation they could only nervously retell the situation they'd just been in. How they found out because they saw students run in from the building entrance and lock the door behind them saying there was an active shooter in the union. The way they all frantically hid their belonging before hiding under the table. How my best friend texted her roommate asking her to watch her cat until her parents got him because she might not make it. After I was finally alone with my best friend I gave her a long hug and took her to get food from Walmart, grabbing her favorite treats and drinks to try and help just a little bit. We tried to talk about other things but our mind couldn't help but come back to the shooting, why it happened, who did it, how did they get as far as they did. We asked pointless nothings scrutinizing over details trying to process what happened. When we finally got to the my friends apartment we saw ambulances up front and on the side. I normally park on the street closer to fsu but we both agreed that it'd be better if I parked in the parking garage and risked getting towed today. we grabbed the groceries and made it to the door when she reached for her keys only to realize we have no way in. she left her keys in the classroom. All I could do was stand there and try to find a way to distract her from how much she'd lost in the attack. I felt so powerless. A girl walked by and all my friend said was sorry my keys are stuck in Bellamy, it's considered a crime scene now. I gremicded at the morbid joke and thanked her for holding the door open for us when we both walked in. The elevator is right next to the entrance. She couldn't stomach being in the evaluator when got past the door. We always go shopping together and whenever we bring back groceries we always take the elevator because it's annoying to lug bags up the stairs but as she starts walking to stairs I ask why? And she says, I don't want to be in enclosed space again. She started her day wondering about whether we were going tour houses this weekend, or if she was going to hear back from her interview on Monday. And now her life has been drastically changed because some maga fuckface choose to try and start an uprising via shooting at the busiest time on campus at the busiest place. Today was a tragedy to the one who died, the six injured and to the many Many students whose life's have been changed because of this traumatic event.

The people who accept Dazai for who he is and why those relationships work

I'm not talking strictly romantically but all his relationships he's made throughout the show. I've been seeing discourse of Dazai hate and how he's such a disturbed individual, to be with him and or to be in his life is inherently abusive. But I believe his change to light has changed him to use his nature for the greater good.

Dazai has always been manipulative and the type of person to always work with his end goal in mind. And in his dark era we can see how this can play out for the worse with soul crushing methods of devaluation, staking the life's of those around him to get his desired outcomes. But after his time with oda, and his untimely death, oda leaves him with the goal to turn to the light saying if it doesn't matter either way why not work for good.

But as it has been pointed out old habits are hard to kill and it would be crazy to say he's still not as manipulative as he used to be. But being in the ADA his tactics of manipulation include the best interest of the people he's surrounded himself by and for Yokohama as whole.

I believe with his change to the light he's found more peace in being accepted for who he is. That being manipulative, cold, and someone that looks for results no matter the consequence. But now, everyone around him knows that and doesn't fear him for it, if anything they freely allow them to be his pawns trusting in his goal to be one that is more aligned with the light.

Moments I want to bring that reflect this is in dead apple and in his on going battle with fyodor. In dead apple he defects from ADA to join Shibusawa without so much as a word to anyone on any side (government, ADA, Port Mafia). But the people in his life choose to trust him and his motives and the way he chose to go about it. In the end their trust in him ends the conflict with Atsushi, akutagawa, and Kyoka fighting on the front lines against the shibusawa and Chuuya using corruption to defeat the amalgamation of all the abilities Shibusawa stole, trusting Dazai had a plan to stop him from going too far despite the report saying that Dazai was already dead. Both parties I just listed ultimately so kept fighting trusting that Dazai chose to play a role that would work out if they kept fighting like he'd expect from them.

With his battle with fyodor he has alot more direct control of the people in his life, placing all of them in dangerous situations that he trusts they have the strength to overcome. This piece to me shows the trust he's grown to have for all of them. Trusting in their strength and resolve to work for the greater good with him. Particularly evident in the relationship between shin soukoku, dazai knows how at odds they are but also believes that they can work together and build a trust that makes them a force greater than soukoku. And in the end, the result of the mutual trust between the ADA, Port Mafia that Dazai has been working for ends up landing fyodor, someone that poses the biggest threat to everything he holds dear in his life, in jail.

So all this rambling to say. No, Dazai is obviously no saint, he uses people for his benefit and the goals he has but since joining the ADA having a team of good people to work with. The things that he wants are for good, he makes plans taking into account what would be best for everyone. Yes he's still using the people around him but the people around him know and place their full trust in the fact that it's for the purpose of a greater good that Dazai has chosen to work towards.

Tldr; Dazai uses people and the people he uses accepts him for that nature and trusts he's using them for the greater good. He has changed to be a better person accepting the ugly of who he really is and makes use of that with the support of the people around him.

I feel like the draw a lot of the fandom has to him speaks to how well written of a character he is.

He's shown for what he is the good, working with the ada to save Yokohama and kick starting a positive arc for several of our most important characters. But also his bad, being a ruthless mafia member with a kill count that blows kyokas out the water. Not even accounting for his actions in beast where he leads the port mafia sacrificing countless life's and most Definitely abusing Atsushi and leading him down a path of what can only be described as insanity. But despite it all the whole fandom loves him because he offers something for everyone.

His character is written to be a complex individual with a question of his own humanity, he only lives to do what he feels is fun or entertaining for the moment, only pushing away his own personal wants whenever he's truly the only one that can solve the problem. It's already been clearly stated that it makes no difference to him whether he's good or bad and he only chooses the path of right in honor of oda. But regardless because of the way he thinks and processes his own emotions he feels fundamentally different then others as is further displayed in no longer human the book that I believe he's fundamentally based on.

In this book the protagonist struggles with the concept of humanity and inherent human desires that he feels makes others humans. But he seems to lack those desires and grows to be afraid of others, seeking ways to please them through humor as he further separates himself from the concept of being human by separating himself emotionally from everyone around him. In the series we can see him take a similar approach that works not only on the characters within the series but the audience to.

He plays the part of the fool until forced in a position where he must show his cards. Goofing off, skipping work, and humorously lamenting at his failed suicided attempts. But we all know he has his dark past, traumas, and genuine feelings that I don't know if he understands himself (He seems to be at the point of knowing what he wants but not acknowledging that comes from that humanity he doesn't acknowledge). But through all the deflection he's attracted the adoration and acceptance of those around him and the community as the whole. Many characters within the series would put their life in dazais hands trusting that he come through and ultimately that he has a plan that would work out. Then us as the audience are charmed by his quirks and his secret dark side and love to watch him succeed and end up rooting for him in the end.

There's alot of ways a character like him with those feelings can turn out. But while i do see the angst posts and all of the sympathizers of his internal struggle, from a casual watcher's prospect he's a silly guy with bonus dark side. Even for the people who know the most about him (the audience) he gives a disarming performance that waves past any reason to put anyone in a position to want to harm him.