A Series of Unfortunate Coincidences and Mistakes

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

notice how everyone is horny today

Happy Moon Landing Day (July 20, 1969). It does move a little, sometimes.

Got Too Focused during woodworking and didn't notice I'd cut myself (superficial injury, not serious) so now there's blood on everything that I need to clean up.

When you start working with wood, nobody warns you about all the Surprise Blood.

If you bandage the wound, clean up the Surprise Blood, take a break to let the bleeding stop, go back to work... guess what. New cut, more Surprise Blood. There is no escape from blood.

Real woodworkers drain all their blood before they start and just refill once they're done making what they needed.

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

Being an Eridian scientist has to be so funny. You train your entire life as a biologist, becoming specialized in your field, probably giving lectures or educational speeches to other Eridians, and then the star savior Rocky comes home with his weird pet dog. Your job is now to cultivate food so the weird dog who is the age of average baby doesn’t die. The dog also saved the stars. Your job is making dog food out of the dog. You also learn that you and the dog have the same job. You are the happiest scientist on Erid.

Watercolor??????

A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.

This would fix everyone involved including the dog