Disabled Bitch

Like I know the books exist in a fictional universe and also Sidney Crosby probably doesn't exist in the HR Universe because he has been split into Scott Hunter and Shane a little bit but like.... 67 goals??? EACH?? That's just too many goals for a rookie season. It's definitely been done in more senior seasons, Wayne Gretzy scored 92 in 1981-82 and then 87 in 1983-84. Austin Matthews (ugh) more recently scored 68 in the 2023-2024 season. 67 goals is not impossible but THEY WERE ROOKIES.

I love this show, I think the HR show is amazing, I think in the show I believe everything mostly but as a hockey fan I have to remember that the books were written not has a hockey book, but as a romance with a hockey back drop and sometimes I have to suspend my disbelief just a little bit. Just a smidgen. And before anyone says that 67 goals in a rookie season is possible, yes it is. Teemu Selanne did 76 (That's right! 76!) for the Winnipeg Jets in 1992-93 but he is THE ONLY ROOKIE TO EVER SCORE ABOVE 53 GOAL POINTS IN THEIR ROOKIE SEASON!!! The next record after his is Mike Bossy for the New York Islanders 20 YEARS BEFORE with 53 goals! The last person to do over 50 goals in their rookie season was Alex Ovechkin for the Washington Capitals with 52 goals in 2005-2006! 20 YEARS AGO!!! I WAS BORN THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED!!

So either Shane and Ilya are existing in a hockey league so inhuman that ROOKIES regularly do crazy numbers like this OR Shane and Ilya are just that inhumanly skilled at hockey and are just way more talented than every other hockey player ever. It also honestly makes the Metros just tossing Shane away absolutely bonkers. No. One. Is. As. Good. As. Shane. Except. Ilya. And the Metros basically hand him into the hands of Ilya's new team with NOTHING IN RETURN. Oh I think all of hockey would kill the Metros with knives like that is insane. The hockey commissioner would have been the next ides of March. Like yes hockey is insanely hyper masculine and Shane is benched from the Metros because homophobia but I think if he was THAT good most people would be like "Him being gay with his rival is fine actually, just keep scoring those goals!" Metros fans everywhere would be in uproar, not because they are good queer allies, but because the best player in hockey history just went to OTTAWA.?? Because the Metros couldn't handle him being gay. A team I should say that is so bad in the HR Universe they don't even mention the HR equivalent of the Canucks (maybe they do I couldn't get through the books properly sorry guys) A hockey book with no ragging on my faves is a dime a dozen but also like an angel with no wings.

Sorry, hockey has been like a special interest of mine since I was like 5, I grew up in a hockey fan family and I have been a Canucks fan for the love of the game for nearly 2 decades so when I watch media that is like kind of about hockey I have to remind myself that it is fictional and that people genuinely use hockey as a genre because they think it is sexy (which I can understand the appeal it's a lot of getting slammed into boards and insane tension) This started as a post just about the goal points and the ridiculousness of a lot of the hockey stuff in HR but I think if I keep going on about everything wrong I'm going to end up not going back to bed and it's 5:30am. (I was asleep I just woke up from a dream I cannot remember and needed to old man yelling at clouds about hockey) I honestly might just start talking more about hockey on my blog though because it's fun and I like it.