★ — sunstained.

I’m Lavi. I’m 23, severely depressed and anxious, and probably have more than a few other mental illnesses by this point. I’m also transgender. I came out to my family 4 years ago, but they still haven’t accepted me. They misgender me constantly and refuse to change no matter how many times I ask them.

I have been “convinced” to take a college course that I have no interest in because it was what my mother wanted me to do. The first attempt resulted in me having a breakdown and admitting myself to the hospital because I knew if I waited any longer, I was going to kill myself.

Despite this, I was once again “convinced” to go back and finish the course. Which is where I am currently. However, it’s barely been a month and I’m back to the same point I was then. I do not want to do this course, and even just thinking about it makes my anxiety so bad I want to puke.

I have also been “convinced” to put off getting my license because it’s not “practical” for my mother.

And there’s nothing I can say to anybody at this point that will make them change their mind about me doing this. So my only option is to leave. I can’t stay here for much longer. I literally feel anxious and terrified every time I have to talk to either of my parents, and that’s no way to live.

And before you try to suggest other things, I want to give you a little more insight into how things have been/are for me.

My mother has hit me before, threatened to injure me more times than I can count, broken some of my things, guilt tripped and gaslighted me my whole life. My father is drunk 90% of the time he’s not working. He has passed out while cooking, holding a cigarette, with a glass in his hand. So many ways that could have ended with the apartment catching fire or me getting hurt.

The point is: I need help. I probably only have about $500 to my name-and that’s after scrounging up change left around the apartment for months-and no way of actually getting out of here.

I hate asking, but I’m truly desperate. Anything would help at all. Literally anything. Even if it’s less than $1, I’ll be eternally grateful. 

I set up a ko-fi page, if anyone is willing to help. If you’d like to use my direct paypal instead it’s: [email protected]

I don’t really have much to offer, but I am more than willing to write drabbles for anybody who helps. All I ask is that you send me a message here, off anon, so we can talk about it.

Thank you so much.

A palm used to rest his cheek, Allen looked out the window. He had chosen a moment of the day where less people boarded the train, even if so far he knew he had distanced Apocryphos. The 14th had been calmer too, which had been his main reason to take the train now.

He wanted to make a bigger leap, while his trail had still been jumping between different towns. So far, it had looked as if he had been going on foot, so he hoped it would take a while before the Order realized he had moved further away.

The train started to move, and Allen petted the golden golem curled into his laps, a small smile on his lips. While he didn’t want to risk napping, being able to just sit and watch the scenery would let his body rest. And hopefully calm his mind, as long as he didn’t pay attention to the grinning shadow only he could see.

The door of his compartiment opened, and his gaze flickered to the reflection of the newcomer.

… Allen almost slided down into his seat to try and hide. But that would be a dead giveaway. He did let his hand wrap around Timcampy to hide him from view, suddenly very glad that he had the hood of his coat up. Then again, there was no way he would board a train without covering his very incriminating white hairs.

Now he just hoped Johnny wouldn’t see his face in the window. Allen had longer hairs now, partly to cover his red scar; but would it be enough to prevent recognition?

If his treacherous heart could also not skip a beat with happiness at the familiar face, it would be great. As much as part of him felt tempted to reach out, call out, Allen didn’t want to put Johnny in the position of having to choose whether to report him or not.

Yet, Allen realized too late that he had been staring at Johnny’s reflection. His silver eyes widened as their gaze crossed into the window. He dropped it in the next second, heart beating wildly into his chest. Tim peeked up at him, still hidden but worried about the stress he felt from his master.

Surely he’s lonely, to say the least. A mission like his with not a soul to share it with would be difficult beyond belief—Johnny knew, without a doubt, that he’d be incapable of such a feat. 

Allen was strong, but that didn’t mean supporting him was any less important. If anything, his insistence to do everything on his own only made it that much more important.

So when he steps onto the train, intent on moving on to the next town in hopes of finding Allen, he’s not expecting to feel eyes on him, like he’s being watched. 

And when his gaze moves, he sees the reflection of someone who oozes FAMILIARITY. 

Their face is hidden beneath a hood, but the warmth of that gaze is something that can’t be veiled. His heart screams at him, demanding him to approach the stranger, to confirm his suspicions. Tears are already welling up in his eyes from the first step he takes. 

The way they turned their eyes away, they most know that he knows. But they don’t move—after all, running away would only prove him right anyways—and Johnny approaches, resting a hand on the back of the seat as the name tumbles clumsily from lips that struggle to form even that one word.

LIKE/REBLOG if you wanna interact with a dumb bunny who’s not supposed to have feelings, but totally does anyway because he’s bad at listening to instructions.

“It is getting kind of boring here…”

Daughter of Dreams, taking delight in nightmares&spreading crimson and candies&sweet dreams alike. A need to be always entertained, no matter how. Royal only to her family, nothing else sacred.

Earlier this week, an anonymous follower asked: Any advice for writing a REALISTIC poly relationship?

Friend, you are in luck. As a polyamorous person, I’m always looking for more stories that include good poly representation! So first, we’re going to dig into some information about what poly is and what it isn’t, go over some vocabulary, and discuss how polyamorous relationships function in the real world, and then I’ll get into some dons and don’ts for writing polyamorous relationships. Read on under the cut!

it feels like you’re searching, searching for the answer. it feels like you’re losing control. IGNORE THE WHISPER, sweet little sister. i wanna make you believe that you belong here—you belong here.

         ❛            she  LOVED  &  she  DANCED.  when  the  birds  came,  they  SWEPT  her  off  her  feet  &  UP,  UP,  until  they  were  SOARING  in  the  heavens.

                                           There are no heroes in war. 

         Hey! My name is Rogue and I have an obsession with making blogs…lets just say I have a hoard of muses now. Anyway! I’m in desperate want for rp partners on this blog so if you’d spread this around I’d be grateful! This is an indie yusei fudo blog but I can’t promise it’ll always be what you expect!