there are no strings on me

People talk about finding a perfect fic and then going to the author page and it being all hockey rpf,,,,how do I convince them to just READ THE HOCKEY RPF you don't even need to know anything about the game or players. Its just good fiction. It's worth it.

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on” Okay it’s fine to hate me or whatever but you do understand the horse is not a part of this right. Like he’s only here because I got on his back and steered him here. I treat him exceptionally well but if he saw anything slightly strange he would run into the woods and forget about me forever. Take it back.

I've been thinking about crop circles and how they kind of just stopped being a thing like 20 years ago and I've decided the obvious explanation is that they were all made by one individual alien who recently retired from the art world after a long career of controversial surrealist art in which he went from one pre-contact planet to another fucking with the indigenous species' corn

"You should be at the club" in all honesty I think I was supposed to be some sort of eccentric monk. Either way I'm pulling no bitches.

idk why groceries cost money like girl i need them

Have you heard of an epic PoggeChamp gamer named Karl “swag” Marx

no. Have you heard of destiel