Today in this Ted talk and in the honor of Michaelia week I shall explain a side of Michael and Lia that people often brush over the in the name of them being toxic, which they are, but the thing is do people who simply look at the surface level of things with them ever sit down to question why?
Many, many Michaelia experts which I want to kiss their brains for being so goddamn smart (you know who y'all are) have explained a few sides of this before me, but I'm trying my own hand in explaining my own part of the equation. This will be both relationship wise and character wise.
First of all, Lia Zhang has been running her whole life.
Her defense mechanism which is mentioned multiple times in the books, is running when things start to get too real or too much like the past for her to handle. Running is only thing that managed to save her from her past, the only thing that helped her survive. She doesn't respond well to receiving affection and actively runs from it sometimes even when it comes from Dean and Judd who have known her and been with her the longest.
She likes to pretend she doesn't do affection and intimacy which in this regard she's like Michael.
But despite them being so similar and the reason why they understand each other better than anyone else in the world is exactly this, Michael's defense mechanism is the EXACT opposite.
Michael doesn't run. He confronts. He provokes and pushes and jabs and throws himself headfirst into the shit.
This is a direct quote from the book: “You don’t run. You don’t hide. You don’t cower.You don’t beg.” (This is Dean profiling him btw)
Michael due to the way he was raised and the mentality of "if you can't stop them from hitting you, make them hit you" pushes back and even initiates fights because that's all he knows. Because this is what made him survive years of abuse and his father's unpredictable temper.
Now what happens when two people with the exact opposite defense mechanisms start developing romantic feelings for each other and get physically intimate?
The answer is obvious. Pure, messy, chaotic catastrophe.
So It's not just about their natural abilities, hmm? It's about their defense mechanisms as well.
Let's for the sake of the argument, imagine the first time they got intimate with each other.
Things got a little too real, maybe one of them started getting too vulnerable, they got too emotionally attached and the tension with Dean about their relationship started to escalate.
Lia ran in the only way she knew. She pushed Michael away. Most likely said something or did something that hurt him a great deal, which is why we often see him taking jabs at her the entirety of book one and two. That's the thing. They both hurt each other because they don't know how to do it any other way.
And then Michael started confronting her harshly, pushing back and fighting against her.
In this scene in bad blood which is one of my favorites, when they're in the diner and Lia is overwhelmed by the amount of memories that are starting to hit a little bit too close to home for her, she brings up the excuse of changing clothes and she runs from the argument.
Michael sees this, follows her and in Cassie's pov it is literally mentioned that he goes after her to try and bring her emotions to the surface, to force a reaction out of her. To make her stop running and confront the past.
Same thing happens in Vegas when he literally almost gets himself killed going after her, because he actively won't let her be alone with her thoughts. Won't let her sink into that dark space in her head. He knows that dark space. HE has the same dark space.
But in the presence of others, when they're not alone with each other, he changes the subject fast or distract others from it to not let them wander on it much, like this scene below:
She tries to run, he tries to confront. They clash, they hurt each other, they push each other away. He tries to dig feelings out of her and she snaps. She puts her fingers on the things she knows will ragebait him and he gets ragebaited.
They take care of each other, but they also drive each other insane.
So think about it a little bit. Think about two characters who are the way they are because they don't know how else to be. Think about how hard ALL of this will be, when you have romantic feelings and you get physical with one another. Because Michael and Lia don't know how to be normal friends. They'll never be friends. They will be family, and they will be lovers, partners, whatever you call it.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes literally created one of the most compelling, mind blowing relationship dynamics and characters in books and the reasons behind it could be discussed in hours and still not reach a definitive conculssion. Their relationship is different than DeanCassie. It's different than Delavish. Than Javery. Than Lyrason. than LibbyNash, than WHATEVER. Even Rohannah who are the most similar to them in terms of dynamic are are a world of difference. You don't have to like them, but stop keeping an image of what love should look like according to all the couples Jennifer has written to apply it to them and say it's wrong for them to be together. They KNOW it's wrong chat. They really don't care. They know each other better than the back of their own hands. I will bet all my money that there are aspects of Lia's personality that is somewhat unknown to Dean (who is practically her brother) but not to Michael. And vise versa.
Think about the why and how, and stop undermining their relationship to just toxic and immature. They are way, way more than that. Both as characters and as couples.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
