kin

but you're already leaning into him, your hand finding his knee through the soft gray fabric of his sweatpants.

"i'm serious! think about it, babe."

your voice is that special kind of excited, the one soobin usually hears when you're explaining a new game you're completely obsessed with or suggesting a takeout place you've been dying to try.

"we've never done it like that. it's always, you know... we're both already hard, and it's kind of rushed and intense. but this..." you squeeze his knee, your thumb tracing a small circle. "this would be different. slower. we could just... be together. and feel everything."

soobin's heart is doing something erratic in his chest.

he's still holding his pen, still surrounded by highlighters and flashcards, and his ridiculously attractive boyfriend is sitting on his bed, talking about his dick like it's the most natural thing in the world. which, okay, it is, they've been together for eight months, they're past the awkward stage. but this is... new.

"you want to..." soobin swallows, his throat suddenly dry. he glances down at his own lap, then back at you, his cheeks impossibly pinker. "you want to sit on it? while it's... you know?"

"soft, yeah."

you nod enthusiastically, scooting closer, and your thigh presses against his.

"i just keep thinking about what it would feel like. the sensation of it... waking up inside me. getting harder because of me, because of us," your voice drops a little, losing some of its excited energy and gaining something warmer, something more intimate. "i think it would feel really good, babe. really close."

and that's the thing.

soobin has never been able to deny you anything when you look at him like that, when your voice goes soft and you say his name like it means something more than just letters strung together. he's completely, utterly gone for you, and you know it. you use that power sometimes, but never cruelly. always like this — to pull him closer, to bring him into a moment with you.

he sets his pen down carefully, marking his place in the textbook with a sticky note; a small, practical gesture that's so distinctly him that it makes your heart clench.

"you really want to?" soobin asks softly, his voice quieter now, a little shy.

"yeah, more than anything right now," you admit, and it's the truth.

the textbook, the phone, the outside world — it's all completely faded away. there is just soobin, in his ridiculously soft-looking oversized white t-shirt and those grey sweatpants that you've told him a hundred times should be illegal, his dark hair falling over his forehead, his glasses framing those warm, curious eyes that are currently fixed entirely on you.

soobin bites his lower lip, a telltale sign that he's thinking, he's considering. then, slowly, he shifts on the bed, putting his textbook on the nightstand. he leans back against the headboard, the wood creaking softly, and his long legs stretch out, then bend slightly, creating a space for you, an invitation.

"okay," he breathes out, the word carrying a mix of nervousness and genuine curiosity. "let's... let's try."

and oh, you don't need to be told twice.

you're moving immediately, crawling over the messy comforter to settle between your boyfriend’s legs. soobin watches you, his hands coming up to softly rest on your hips as you straddle him, your knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his thighs.

you're face to face now, close enough to see the tiny mole under his eye, the way his eyelashes flutter.

"hi," you whisper, a stupid, giddy smile spreading across your face.

a matching smile tugs at soobin's lips, despite his obvious embarrassment.

"hi," he whispers back. his hands are warm through the thin fabric of your pajama pants. "this is so weird."

"good weird or bad weird?"

"just... weird. different."

soobin ducks his head slightly, looking at where your bodies meet, at the tentatively interested bulge in his own pants that's nowhere near full attention.

"are you sure you're gonna be comfortable? what if—"

you cut him off with a kiss; it's soft, just a brush of lips, simply meant to soothe.

"we'll go slow. if it's weird or uncomfortable, we can just stop. okay?"

soobin nods against your mouth. "okay."

you kiss him again, deeper this time, and you feel his huge hands tighten on your hips. you rock forward experimentally, just a small shift of weight, and soobin makes a tiny sound against your lips.

you break the kiss to sit back slightly, your hands finding the hem of his oversized t-shirt. "can i?"

soobin lifts his arms without a word, and you pull the shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere behind you, and your breath catches, like it always does.

you've already seen him naked countless times, but the sight of his pretty bare chest, the smooth expanse of pale skin, the subtle definition of muscle from carrying heavy books and the occasional gym session with his friends — it never gets old. he's beautiful in a way that feels accidental, unassuming.

soobin doesn't seem to fully realize how hot he is, and that, somehow, makes him even hotter.

your fingers find the waistband of his sweatpants, and you look at him for permission. once again, soobin gives a small, shy nod. you tug them down, along with his boxers, just enough. his cock lies soft against his thigh, and you feel a fresh wave of heat pool in your stomach. it's still him, still soobin, still the part of him that makes you feel so incredibly full and complete.

it's just... resting.

you shimmy out of your own pajama pants and boxers quickly, not wanting to break the moment. when you settle back on his lap, it's skin-to-skin, his soft length pressed against the curve of your ass. soobin hisses in a breath, his fingers digging into your hips.

you position yourself carefully, one hand on soobin’s shoulder for balance, the other reaching down to guide him. your eyes meet his.

"ready?"

he looks terrified and thrilled in equal measure.

"ready."

you shift your weight, lowering yourself slowly. the head of soobin’s soft cock presses against your entrance, and for a moment, it just... sits there. it's an odd sensation, really — the familiar pressure, but without the familiar hardness. it feels almost impossibly soft, pliable.

you take a breath and push down gently.

the slide is different; way slower. there is no resistance in the same way, because he's soft, but your body still has to accommodate his size. even soft, Soobin is... well, considerable. you feel yourself stretching around him, taking him in inch by inch, and the sensation is so unique, so new, that a shaky moan escapes your lips.

soobin's eyes are wide.

"oh," he breathes. "oh, wow."

"you okay?" you manage to ask, pausing when you're about halfway seated.

soobin nods frantically, his hands softly stroking up and down your sides.

"y-yeah. it's just... it feels so warm, and so tight. but it's also different. it's like... i can feel everything. i can feel every part of you."

you lower yourself the rest of the way, and then you're fully seated, his soft cock buried completely inside you. you sit there for a moment, just breathing, just feeling; the weight of him, the fullness, the strange, intimate knowledge that he's inside you but not hard inside you.

it's like a secret, a moment stolen from time.

you're both still for a long, breathless moment. soobin's hands are splayed across your lower back, warm and grounding, and you can feel his heartbeat, or maybe it's yours — it's hard to tell anymore when you're this close.

"how does it feel?" you whisper, your forehead resting against his.

"warm," he repeats, his voice soft with wonder. "and... tight. but it's like..." he struggles for words, his brow furrowing adorably. "it's like i can feel you holding me. not like... fucking. just holding."

you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to soobin’s lips.

"yeah. that's what i wanted."

you start to move, but not in any real rhythm.

just small, subtle shifts of your hips. you were rocking, more than anything, simply testing the sensation. with each tiny movement, you feel him, soft and pliant, moving inside you, and it's incredibly intimate in a way you hadn't tully anticipated.

soobin's hands roam your back, your sides, his touch full of reverence. your boyfriend is looking at you like you're something so precious, something he can't quite believe is real. his cheeks are still flushed that pretty pink you love so much, his lips slightly parted.

"you're so beautiful," he murmurs, almost to himself.

you feel a flutter of warmth in your chest that has nothing to do with where you're connected.

"so are you."

you kiss him again, deeper this time. your tongue slides against his, slow and exploratory, and soobin’s hands come up to cup your face, holding you close. the kiss deepens, becomes more urgent, more hungry. you feel his hips twitch beneath you, a small, unconscious thrust.

and then, finally, you feel it — the slightest change; a thickening, a growing weight inside you. you gasp against his mouth at the very new sensation, pulling back just enough to look at him.

soobin’s eyes are hazy, his pupils blown wide.

"soobin," you breathe. "i can feel you."

he looks down, as if he could see through both your bodies to where they're joined.

"it's you," soobin whispers, his voice wrecked. "it's because of you. you feel so good."

another small, unconscious thrust. another surge of growth. soobin’s cock is filling out inside you, pressing against your walls in a way it couldn't when it was soft. the sensation is really overwhelming — the gradual stretch, the increasing fullness… you can feel every ridge, every vein as they become more pronounced.

you can feel soobin getting harder because of you, because of the way your body is wrapped around him, because of the kisses, because of the closeness.

"oh—my god," soobin pathetically whimpers, his head falling back against the headboard. his hands grip your hips tighter, his knuckles white. "oh my god, that feels... that feels so..."

"i know," you groan, and you start to move with more purpose now, rolling your hips in a slow circle. each movement seems to encourage him, to draw more blood, more hardness. "i can feel every second of it. you're getting so hard inside me, babe."

soobin makes a sound that's somewhere between a moan and a whine, high-pitched and desperate.

"d-don't stop. please don't stop."

you don't. you keep moving, keep kissing him, keep whispering praise against his lips.

"feel how good you feel. feel how perfectly you fit."

"i can't—" soobin cuts himself off with another whine, his hips starting to thrust up in small, jerky movements that meet your rolls. "it's too much. it feels too good."

"it's not too much," you assure him, your hand coming up to card through his soft hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "you're doing so well. just feel it. feel me."

soobin is fully hard now, thick and heavy inside you, and the transition from soft to hard has left you both breathless and shaking. you've never experienced anything like it — the gradual, inexorable filling, the knowledge that his arousal is a direct response to you, to this moment. it's really intoxicating.

"i wanna move," soobin begs, his voice cracking. "please, baby, please can i move? i need—i need to—"

you simply nod, unable to form words properly. you lift yourself slightly, and soobin thrusts up, a real thrust this time, deep and sure. you both moan, the sound mingling in the small space between you.

"y-yeah," you gasp. "like that. just like that—"

soobin sets a rhythm, slow at first, still overwhelmed by the newness of it all. his thrusts are deep, deliberate, each one punching a soft sound from your lips, and his hands are everywhere — your hips, your back, your face.

he can't stop touching you, can't stop looking at you.

"you're so perfect," soobin babbles, his words tumbling out between kisses and pretty moans. "so perfect for me. i love you so much. i love being inside you. i love—ah!—i love feeling you."

you capture his mouth with yours, swallowing his words, his every sounds. you simply love him like this — open, vulnerable, completely undone by you. the pretty nerd who annotates his textbooks and makes color-coded study guides, reduced to a whining, desperate mess because of how you feel around him.

you start to meet his thrusts, matching his rhythm, making it deeper and harder. the bed creaks beneath you, the sound joining the wet, obscene noises of your bodies coming together.

"i'm close," soobin warns, his voice tight.

he's gripping you so hard you know there will be bruises tomorrow, and you can't bring yourself to care.

"i'm so close, baby, where do you want—"

"inside," you moans. "stay inside—wanna feel you come inside me."

soobin’s eyes roll back slightly at your words, and his thrusts become erratic, losing their rhythm. he's chasing his release, but he's also watching you, making sure you're with him. your boyfriend’s hand snakes down between your bodies, finding your cock, stroking you in time with his thrusts.

it only takes a few more strokes; you come with a broken cry of his name, your body clenching around him, and that's all it takes to push soobin over the edge. he follows with a desperate, high-pitched moan, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, hot and deep.

for a long moment, neither of you moves.

you're both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together, sharing the same humid air. soobin's hands are still on you, but they've gone soft, just resting.

right now, you can feel him softening inside you, the reverse of the sensation from before, and it's just as incredible in its own way.

finally, you shift, wincing slightly at the oversensitivity, and soobin's hands immediately try to hold you still.

"wait," he murmurs. "just... wait a second. i'm not ready to not be inside you yet."

you smile, pressing a kiss to his nose.

"okay."

you simply stay like that for a long time, connected, breathing together. soobin’s thumbs trace absent patterns on your skin, and our fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

the room slowly cools around you, but you're both warm, wrapped up in each other.

"that was..." he trails off, searching for the right word.

"incredible?" you offer.

"yeah," soobin laughs softly, a little puff of air against your lips. "incredible. you always have the best ideas."

"i know," you tease, but you're smiling too.

eventually, you have to move.

the practicalities of cleanup, of bodily functions, of reality intruding on the perfect bubble you've created. but even as you disentangle yourselves, even as soobin disappears into his attached bathroom and returns with a warm, damp washcloth to clean you both with gentle, careful hands, the intimacy doesn't break.

when you finally settle back into bed, both of you having pulled on fresh boxers, soobin immediately pulls you against his chest. he's warm and solid, and you can feel his heartbeat, still slightly elevated, against your cheek.

"so," you mumble against his skin. "worth interrupting your study session?"

soobin laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest.

"my biology textbook can wait. this was..." he pauses, and you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head. "this was the best kind of practical application."

you snort, elbowing him gently. "such a nerd."

the room falls into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes after moments of profound intimacy.

outside, the city continues its endless hum.

inside, in soobin's small, cluttered bedroom, there's just the two of you, wrapped up in each other, sated and sleepy and utterly, completely in love.

that part snuck up on you slowly, then all at once. first it was admiration—the way he planned everything three steps ahead, the way he never seemed rattled even when things went wrong. then it was fascination—the contrast between his delicate features and the absolute brutality he was capable of, the way he hummed cheerfully while cleaning blood off his knives. and then somewhere along the way it became this. this aching, desperate, all-consuming thing that lived in your chest and made it hard to breathe when he looked at you for too long.

you memorised his coffee order (iced americano, extra shot, barely any water because he was a psychopath apparently), the way he liked his knives arranged (smallest to largest, always within arm's reach), the exact angle his mouth curved when he was genuinely amused versus when he was pretending. you knew he tapped his fingers against his thigh when he was thinking, that he rolled his shoulders back exactly twice before a fight, that he had a tiny scar behind his left ear that you only saw once when his hair was wet.

it was embarrassing how much you noticed. how much you cared.

and the worst part? he absolutely knew. had to know. because you weren't subtle, not even a little bit. you volunteered for every job he mentioned, stayed up late sharpening his weapons even though your hands cramped, laughed too loud at things that weren't that funny just because he was the one saying them. you were obvious and desperate and so fucking transparent it hurt.

he never said anything about it though. never acknowledged the way you looked at him, never called you out on the fact that you basically reorganised your entire existence around him. he just let you orbit him like some pathetic satellite, close enough to be useful but never close enough to actually touch.

tonight started like any other night. you got back from a job—something small, just roughing up some hero-wannabe who was getting too close to one of sunoo's operations—and you were still riding the adrenaline high. your knuckles were scraped, your shirt had someone else's blood on it, and you felt alive in a way you never did doing anything else. sunoo had that effect. he made even the violent things feel like they mattered, like you were part of something bigger.

you found him in the main area of the warehouse, surrounded by his collection. that's what you called it in your head—his collection. knives of every size and style, some plain and practical, others ornate and clearly expensive. he was meticulous about maintaining them, spending hours with whetstones and oil, handling each blade like it was precious. like it was loved.

you wondered sometimes what it would feel like to be handled like that. with care. with attention. with those elegant fingers tracing over every detail like it mattered.

god, you needed help.

"you're back early," he said without looking up from the blade he was cleaning. the silk cloth in his hand was already stained red—whether from today or yesterday or last week, you couldn't tell. "did he give you trouble?"

"no. he folded pretty quick." you dropped your jacket on the back of a chair, trying not to wince at the bruise forming on your ribs. it was nothing serious. you had worse. "threatened to call in backup though. might want to move up the timeline on the next phase."

"mm. predictable." he set down the knife he was working on, finally glancing up at you. his gaze swept over you quickly, cataloguing injuries with the efficiency of someone who did this a thousand times. "you're hurt."

"it's nothing."

"i didn't ask if it was nothing. i said you're hurt." he stood then, moving toward you with that fluid grace that made your mouth go dry. "sit."

you sat. because you always did what he told you to do, because you were completely gone for him and had zero self-respect apparently.

he pulled out the first aid kit—the actual one, not the piece of shit drugstore version you kept in your bag—and started cleaning the scrapes on your knuckles. his touch was gentle, almost tender, and it made your chest ache in a way that had nothing to do with the bruised ribs. this was the worst part. when he acted like he cared, like you were more than just a useful tool. it made you hope for things you had no business hoping for.

"you need to stop leading with your right," he murmured, wrapping gauze around your knuckles with practiced ease. "you're too obvious. anyone paying attention would see it coming."

"noted." your voice came out rougher than intended. he was so close, close enough that you could smell his cologne, could count his eyelashes if you wanted to. could see the way his lips parted slightly when he concentrated. "i'll work on it."

"you better. i don't need my best enforcer getting sloppy." he finished with your hands and moved on to checking your ribs, fingers pressing carefully against the bruised area. you hissed at the contact and he made this sympathetic sound that absolutely destroyed you. "not broken. you'll be fine in a few days."

"i'm always fine."

"because i take care of you." he looked up then, meeting your eyes, and there was something in his expression you couldn't read. something that made your stomach flip. "someone has to."

you wanted to ask what he meant by that. wanted to ask if he felt even a fraction of what you felt, if he ever thought about you the way you thought about him, if he ever lay awake at night replaying conversations and analysing every word for hidden meaning. but you couldn't. because if he said no, if he confirmed what you already knew—that this was one-sided and pathetic and you were just setting yourself up for heartbreak—you'd shatter into so many pieces you'd never find them all.

so instead you just said, "thanks."

he smiled at that. small and private, like you said something amusing. "you're welcome, sweetheart."

and there it was. that stupid pet name that made your entire nervous system short-circuit every single time. he used it so casually, like it didn't mean anything, like he didn't know it made you want to do something insane like grab him and kiss him until neither of you could breathe.

he packed up the first aid kit and went back to his knives, settling into his chair like nothing happened. like he didn't just touch you with those careful hands and call you sweetheart and make you fall even more impossibly in love with him.

you moved to the other side of the table, pulling out the whetstone and selecting one of his knives to sharpen. it was something to do with your hands, something to focus on that wasn't the way your heart was still racing or the phantom feeling of his fingers against your skin. you fell into the familiar rhythm—the slide of the blade against stone, the steady pressure, the high-pitched ring of metal being honed to a perfect edge.

this was safe. this was manageable. you could handle sitting across from him, sharing space, existing in his orbit as long as you had something to concentrate on. as long as you didn't think too hard about how domestic this felt, how right, like you were two halves of something that fit together perfectly.

you were at it for maybe twenty minutes when you felt his eyes on you. that prickling awareness that came from being watched, the weight of his attention making your hands want to shake even though you kept them steady through sheer force of will.

"you're staring again," he said without looking up, and there was this amused lilt to his voice that made your stomach flip. he knew. he always knew when you were looking, when your thoughts went somewhere they shouldn't, when your breath caught because he moved too close or smiled that specific way that made you want to do something stupid.

"sorry," you mumbled, forcing your eyes away, focusing instead on the knife in your hands. you were sharpening them for the past hour, hands steady even though your pulse wasn't. even though being this close to him made your skin feel too tight, made every nerve ending hyperaware of the space between your bodies.

he laughed. it was soft, almost fond, which was worse somehow. "no you're not."

and he was right. you weren't sorry. you'd never be sorry for looking at him, for memorising the curve of his smile, the way his eyes crinkled when he was genuinely amused versus when he was about to kill someone. you catalogued every detail of him like your life depended on it. maybe it did.

the sound of his footsteps made you tense before you felt his presence behind you, close enough that you could smell his cologne—something expensive and sharp that made your head spin. his hand came down on the table beside yours, fingers splayed, and you could see the old scars across his knuckles, the elegant length of his fingers. he was so close. too close. not close enough.

"we have a job tomorrow," he said, voice low and right by your ear. your hands stilled on the whetstone, breath catching. "the heroes are sending their best. should be fun."

fun. he called it fun. you called it watching him dance through combat like he was untouchable, like nothing in the world could hurt him, while your heart tried to claw its way out of your chest because what if this was the time something went wrong? what if—

"you're thinking too loud," sunoo murmured, and then his fingers were under your chin, tilting your face up to meet his eyes. they were so dark, pupils blown wide in the dim light, and there was something in his expression you couldn't read. something that made your stomach drop and soar at the same time. "i'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. i've told you this."

the pet name made heat crawl up your neck. he used it sometimes, always with this teasing edge that made you want to combust on the spot. you knew he didn't mean it the way you wanted him to mean it. knew he saw you as useful, as entertaining maybe, but not—

his thumb brushed across your bottom lip and your brain short-circuited.

"you know what i like about you?" he asked, conversational, like he wasn't currently making your entire nervous system malfunction. like his touch wasn't burning itself into your skin in a way you'd never recover from. "you're so easy to read. every thought shows on your face."

oh god. if he could read your thoughts then he knew—he knew about the embarrassing dreams, the way you watched him constantly, the fact that you'd burn the entire world down if he asked you to. the fact that you were so stupidly, desperately, pathetically in love with him it physically hurt sometimes.

you tried to pull away but his grip tightened, not painful but firm, keeping you exactly where he wanted you. "i didn't say you could move."

your heart was hammering so hard you were sure he could hear it. "sunoo—"

"shh." his thumb pressed against your lips, silencing you, and his smile was sharp enough to cut. "you're always so obedient. it's almost boring."

that stung. you knew you were boring compared to him, knew you were just—just there, useful for sharpening his knives and handling the boring logistics and worshipping the ground he walked on like some kind of devoted dog. but hearing him say it made something crack in your chest.

you bit down on his thumb. not hard enough to break skin but enough to surprise him, to show some kind of spine even though your hands were shaking. his eyes widened fractionally before something dangerous slid across his features, something that made every survival instinct scream at you to run.

you didn't run. you never ran from him.

"there she is," he breathed, and he sounded almost delighted. his hand moved from your chin to your throat, not squeezing, just resting there, and you could feel your pulse jumping against his palm. "i was wondering when you'd stop being so scared of me."

"i'm not scared of you," you managed, voice rough. it was true. you weren't scared of him. you were scared of how much you wanted him, how you'd let him ruin you completely and thank him for it, how there wasn't a version of your future that didn't have him in it.

"liar," he said, but he was smiling now, really smiling, and it made him look younger. softer. like maybe underneath the villain there was still some part of the boy he must have been before. "you're terrified. but not of me hurting you."

his fingers flexed against your throat and you stopped breathing.

"you're scared i don't want you back."

the world tilted. your ears were ringing. had he just—did he mean—

"i—" you couldn't form words. your brain had completely shut down, every thought scattering like startled birds. "what?"

sunoo leaned in closer, so close his breath ghosted across your lips, and his eyes were so dark, so intense it felt like falling. "you think i don't notice? the way you watch me, the way your breathing changes when i get close, the way you'd do anything i asked without question?" 

his voice dropped lower, almost a purr. "you think i don't know you're completely obsessed with me?"

you wanted to deny it. wanted to salvage some scrap of dignity. but what was the point? he was right. he was always right about you.

"and what if i am?" you whispered, because fuck it. fuck pride, fuck self-preservation. you were already his in every way that mattered.

his smile turned wicked. "then you should know something." his thumb traced your jawline, gentle in a way that made your chest ache. "tomorrow, during the fight. one of them is going to get lucky. you're going to see something that might scare you."

your blood went cold. "what do you mean?"

"you'll see." he pulled back slightly, expression unreadable. "just remember—i told you i'm not going anywhere."

"sunoo, if you're in danger—"

"i'm not the one in danger, sweetheart. i never am." there was something strange in his voice now, something almost vulnerable. "the heroes are. they just don't know it yet."

he pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled away completely, leaving you frozen at the table, heart in pieces, mind racing.

tomorrow. something was going to happen tomorrow. something that would scare you. but you'd be there anyway, because where else would you be except at his side, watching him tear through heroes like they were nothing, bleeding devotion from every pore?

you were so fucked.

the abandoned district was perfect for what sunoo had planned. empty warehouses stretched out in every direction, windows shattered and walls tagged with graffiti, the typical place heroes loved to use for their dramatic confrontations. you perched on a rusted fire escape three stories up, exactly where sunoo told you to wait, and tried to keep your breathing steady.

you hated this part. the waiting. the watching. being stuck on the sidelines when you were perfectly capable of fighting alongside him.

it was always like this. sunoo never let you join the actual fights, not the important ones anyway. he'd let you handle the small stuff—roughing up informants, dealing with low-level heroes, the grunt work that kept his operations running. and you were good at it. you'd proven yourself over and over, taken down targets efficiently and without complications. but the moment things got serious, the moment real danger showed up, he stuck you somewhere safe and told you to watch.

it drove you insane. made you feel useless, like some helpless thing that needed protecting instead of the competent fighter you'd worked so hard to become. you'd asked him about it once and he'd just given you this soft and unreadable look and said, "humour me."

so here you were again, benched, watching him stand in the centre of the street below with his hands in his pockets, looking like he was waiting for a bus instead of an ambush.

"relax," sunoo called up to you, and you could hear the smile in his voice even from this distance. "you're so tense i can feel it from here."

"maybe because there's supposed to be five of them," you shot back, fingers gripping the railing hard enough to hurt. "and you won't let me help."

"you are helping. you're watching." he pulled out one of his knives—the small one, the one he used for warmups—and examined it in the dim streetlight. "making sure no one tries to run. very important job."

"sunoo—"

"we've talked about this, sweetheart." his voice was still light but there was an edge to it now, that tone that meant the discussion was over. "you stay up there where it's safe. this is non-negotiable."

you wanted to argue. wanted to climb down there and prove you could handle yourself, that you didn't need to be protected like some fragile thing. but you knew that tone. knew it meant he'd already made up his mind and nothing you said would change it.

it didn't make sense anyway. sunoo was invincible—literally, actually invincible. you'd watched heroes land hits that should have shattered bone and he just shrugged them off like they were nothing. watched him take knife wounds and gunshots and falls that would kill anyone else, and he'd just stand back up without a scratch. he'd never even bled in front of you, not once in two years. his superpower made him untouchable in a way that should have meant he worried about himself, not you.

but he did worry. kept you away from danger with an almost obsessive focus, like the thought of you getting hurt was worse than anything the heroes could do to him.

you were about to tell him exactly how annoying that was when you felt it—the shift in the air that meant they were here. heroes. you'd gotten good at sensing them over the past two years, the way they moved with that self-righteous confidence, like the world owed them something for existing.

they came from three directions at once. the one in front was taehyun, some rising star with enhanced strength who'd been making headlines for taking down minor villains. flanking him were two others you didn't recognise—a girl with electricity crackling between her fingers and a guy who looked like he could bench press a car. the last two dropped down from the rooftops behind sunoo, cutting off his escape routes.

classic hero formation. surround and overwhelm.

sunoo just laughed.

"taehyun, right?" he said, spinning the knife between his fingers in that casual way that made your stomach flip even now, even in the middle of this. "i've heard about you. something about justice and protecting the innocent?" he tilted his head, fox-like eyes glinting with amusement. "boring."

"kim sunoo," taehyun said, and his voice had that hero quality—all noble and dramatic. "you're under arrest for—"

"yeah, yeah, crimes against humanity, murder, blah blah." sunoo waved his free hand dismissively. "can we skip the speech? i have plans later."

the electricity girl didn't wait for permission. she lunged forward, hands crackling with power, and you stopped breathing because she was fast, faster than you expected, and her fingers were reaching for sunoo's throat and—

he moved.

it wasn't even a dodge, really. more like he just wasn't there anymore, sliding to the side with that liquid grace that made violence look like dancing. his knife flashed once, twice, and suddenly electricity girl was stumbling back with shallow cuts across her arms, blood blooming bright against her costume.

"first blood," sunoo said cheerfully. "anyone else want to try?"

they all moved at once.

you'd seen sunoo fight before. watched him take down heroes and villains and anyone stupid enough to get in his way. but it never stopped being mesmerising, the way he moved through combat like he was performing, like every strike was choreographed for maximum effect. his knives caught the streetlight as they spun, as he ducked under the strongman's punch and came up slashing, as he used taehyun's own momentum against him to send him crashing into a wall.

he was playing with them. you could tell by the smile on his face, the way he hummed under his breath between strikes. this wasn't a fight to him, more likev entertainment.

one of the heroes from the rooftop—a speedster with silver hair who moved almost too fast to track—managed to get behind sunoo and land a solid kick to his spine. you heard the impact from three stories up, heard the way it should have done damage, but sunoo just turned around slowly, rolling his shoulders back twice—that pre-fight tell you'd memorised—and smiled. "nice hit."

not a scratch, not even a bruise forming all thanks to his invincibility. it was like the hit never happened.

the speedster went for another strike and sunoo met him halfway, knife finding the gap in his defences like he'd known exactly where it would be. like he'd planned for it. blood sprayed and the speedster went down hard, clutching his leg.

taehyun roared something about protecting his team and charged again, enhanced strength making the ground crack under his feet. his fist connected with sunoo's jaw in a hit that should have broken bones, should have knocked him unconscious, should have mattered.

sunoo's head snapped to the side from the impact.

and then he straightened up and grinned, completely unharmed, looking absolutely delighted.

"my turn," he said.

what happened next was terrifying in how easy he made it look. sunoo moved through them like they were nothing, knives finding soft spots and weak points with surgical precision. the strongman went down with a knife in his shoulder. electricity girl tried to taser him and he let the electricity hit him full force, let it crawl across his skin in a way that should have stopped his heart, and just caught her wrist mid-attack, twisted, sent her crashing into the speedster who was trying to get back up.

taehyun lasted the longest, his enhanced strength letting him trade blows with sunoo in a way that would have been impressive if it made any difference. but even he couldn't do anything that stuck. every hit that connected—and there were several, hard enough that you felt them in your own bones—sunoo just absorbed like they were gentle taps.

you watched taehyun land a hit to sunoo's ribs that cracked the concrete behind him. watched him get thrown into a wall hard enough to leave an impact crater. watched electricity crawl across his entire body in a sustained attack that made the streetlights flicker.

and sunoo just kept going.

he fought the way he did everything else—with casual, terrifying ease, like the concept of being hurt didn't apply to him.

because it didn't. nothing could hurt him. that was his power, his gift, the thing that made him untouchable and terrifying and invincible.

"impossible," taehyun gasped, on his knees now, one arm hanging useless. "nothing works. nothing even slows you down."

"mm. perceptive." sunoo crouched in front of him, knife spinning lazily between his fingers. "you know what your problem is? you keep trying to hurt me. but you can't." he leaned in closer, voice dropping to something almost intimate. "no one can. i'm invincible, hero. completely and utterly untouchable."

"everyone has a weakness," electricity girl spat from where she was slumped against the wall. "everyone can be hurt by something."

sunoo's expression shifted. something flickered across his face—dangerous and possessive and real in a way that made your breath catch. "mm. true."

he stood, brushing imaginary dust off his jacket. there wasn't a mark on him. not a scratch, not a bruise, nothing to indicate he'd just fought five enhanced heroes. "but my weakness isn't here. and even if it was, you'd never reach it."

he stepped over taehyun's prone form and walked away, hands in his pockets, humming that same melody from earlier. like he'd just finished a light workout instead of taking down five enhanced heroes.

you were down the fire escape before you consciously decided to move, feet hitting the ground and carrying you toward him. he caught you easily when you crashed into his chest, arms coming around you, and you hated how good it felt. how safe.

"told you," he murmured into your hair. "nothing to worry about."

you pulled back just enough to look at him, hands fisting in his jacket. "you let him hit you in the ribs. you let the electricity girl taser you for like ten straight seconds."

"had to make it interesting." his fingers came up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your cheekbone. "can't just dodge everything. that would be boring."

"you're insane."

"and you're beautiful when you're worried about me." his smile was softer now, private, meant just for you. "even though you know nothing can hurt me. isn't that interesting?"

you didn't know what to say to that. didn't know how to explain that knowing he was invincible and watching him take hits were two different things. that your heart still stopped every time even though your brain knew he was fine.

"come on," he said, taking your hand. "let's go home."

the walk back to the warehouse was quiet. sunoo kept his fingers laced with yours, thumb stroking absent patterns against your skin, and you tried not to think about how natural it felt. how right.

"you know why i don't let you fight with me," he said eventually, and it wasn't a question.

"because you're overprotective and slightly unhinged?"

he laughed, soft and genuine. "well, yes. but also because you can get hurt. you don't have invincibility. you're human and fragile and one lucky hit could—" his fingers tightened around yours. "i can't risk that."

"i can handle myself."

"i know you can." he pulled you closer as you walked, until your shoulders brushed. "i've seen you fight. you're good. really good. but good doesn't matter when you're going up against enhanced heroes who could kill you by accident. and i—" he stopped walking, turned to face you fully. "i can't watch you get hurt. i won't."

there was something raw in his voice. something that made your chest ache.

"nothing can hurt me," he continued, quieter now. "i've tested it. knives, bullets, fire, electricity, falls from buildings, poison, everything. i'm completely invincible. but that doesn't mean i don't understand pain." his hand came up to cup your face, thumb tracing your bottom lip. "i just experience it differently now. through you."

your breath caught. "sunoo—"

"so humuor me," he murmured. "stay safe. stay where i put you. let me keep you away from things that could hurt you. because that's the only thing that actually scares me anymore."

you didn't know what to say. didn't know how to process the fact that he'd just admitted you were his weakness, his only weakness, the one thing that could touch him in a world where nothing else could.

"okay," you whispered, and his smile was devastating.

"good girl."

***

the warehouse was exactly as you'd left it—knives still spread across the table, first aid kit still out from earlier even though you both knew he'd never need it. sunoo headed straight for his chair and started pulling out his weapons, laying them on the silk cloth with careful precision. they were all dirty. blood and god knows what else staining the metal.

you grabbed the cleaning supplies without being asked and settled into the chair across from him, reaching for the first knife. it was automatic now, this routine. he fought, you cleaned. he destroyed, you maintained. two halves of something that worked.

"not that one," sunoo said, plucking the blade from your fingers. "start with the small ones. work your way up."

you rolled your eyes but switched knives, selecting one of his favorites—a thin stiletto with a pearl handle. your hands were steadier than they should be as you wiped away the blood, as you checked the edge for damage. muscle memory from hundreds of nights just like this one.

except tonight was different. tonight felt charged somehow, the air between you thick with something unspoken. maybe it was what he'd said during the walk back. maybe it was the way he kept looking at you, dark eyes tracking every movement.

maybe it was the fact that you were aware now. aware of every breath, every small shift. the way his knee was almost touching yours under the table. the way his fingers moved over his knives with the same careful attention he'd touched you with earlier.

"you're holding it wrong," he said after a few minutes, and then he was standing, moving around the table, and your mouth went dry because he was right there, pressed against your back, his hand covering yours on the knife.

"i'm holding it the same way i always do," you managed, but your voice came out breathless and you wanted to die.

"mm. and you've always done it wrong." his fingers adjusted your grip, tilting the blade at a different angle. his hand was cold against your wrist, long fingers wrapping around easily, and you could feel his breath against your neck. "like this. see the difference?"

you didn't see anything. couldn't see anything past the fact that he was touching you, that his chest was pressed against your shoulders, that if you tilted your head back even slightly it would rest against his collarbone.

"better," he murmured, and his thumb stroked once across your pulse point before he let go and stepped back. 

you forced yourself to focus on the knife, on cleaning the blood from the blade with hands that shook slightly. he settled back into his chair and picked up another weapon, and you tried not to notice the way he watched you. the weight of his attention making your skin feel too tight.

the silence stretched between you like a living thing. 

"you're being quiet," he said eventually.

"just thinking."

"about?"

about how you just told five heroes i'm your weakness. about how you keep me away from danger like i'm something precious. about how you said you experience pain through me now. about how i want to touch you so badly it physically hurts. about how i'd let you ruin me and thank you for it.

"stuff," you said instead.

he laughed, soft and low, and it slid down your spine like honey. "liar."

you looked up and found him already watching you, and there was something in his expression that made your breath catch. something hungry and knowing. like he could see straight through you to all the desperate, pathetic thoughts you were trying so hard to hide.

"i'm going to kiss you," he said, casual as discussing the weather. "eventually. when you're ready."

your brain short-circuited. the knife clattered against the table and you barely noticed. "what?"

"you heard me." he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, looking absolutely delighted by your reaction. "but not yet. you're not ready yet."

"i'm not—" you couldn't even finish the sentence. couldn't form coherent thoughts past the sudden, overwhelming certainty that you were extremely ready. had been ready for approximately two years.

"you think you are," he said, reading your mind again somehow. "but i want you to understand what it means first."

"understand what?"

"that if i kiss you, i'm keeping you." his eyes were so dark, pinning you in place. "that you're mine. that i don't share and i don't let go." he tilted his head, studying you. "that the only person in the world who matters to me is the same person i'd burn the world down for."

the air felt too thick. you couldn't breathe. couldn't think past the absolute certainty in his voice, the way he said it like it was fact, like there was no other possible outcome.

"so take your time," he continued, picking up another knife. "figure out if that's what you want. because once we start this, sweetheart, there's no going back."

you stared at him. at this beautiful, terrifying, impossible man who'd just offered you everything you'd ever wanted and told you to think about it. like you hadn't already decided. like you weren't already his in every way that mattered.

but you didn't say that. instead you picked up your knife and went back to cleaning, hands somehow steady despite the way your heart was trying to punch through your ribs.

you could feel him smiling without looking up.

the rest of the night passed in that same charged silence, every small movement loaded with meaning. his fingers brushing yours when he handed you a new blade. the way his knee pressed against yours under the table. the absolute suffocating awareness of his presence, his attention, his want.

by the time you finished cleaning the last knife, you were wound so tight you thought you might shatter. sunoo stood and stretched, shirt riding up just enough to show a sliver of skin, and you looked away before you did something stupid like stare.

"go home," he said softly. "get some sleep. we'll talk more tomorrow."

you wanted to argue. wanted to stay. wanted to grab him and kiss him and tell him you didn't need time to think, that you'd already chosen him the moment he offered you something that mattered.

but you just nodded and gathered your things, because he was right. you needed to think. needed to process what he'd said, what it all meant.

the next morning, sunoo acted like nothing happened.

you showed up at the warehouse around noon, earlier than usual because you'd barely slept, mind racing with everything he'd said the night before, everything he'd implied with those careful touches and devastating words. 

you found him at the table organising his knife collection like it was just another day, and he looked up when you walked in with that same casual smile he always wore, the one that gave nothing away. "coffee's on the counter. still hot."

he didn’t mention the fight, or the charged silence while cleaning knives, to the way he'd touched you like you were precious, to the fact that he'd basically told you he was in love with you and then sent you home to think about it. he was just normal. perfectly, maddeningly normal, like the night before had never happened at all.

"thanks," you said slowly, watching his face for any sign of something, anything that would indicate he remembered what he'd said, but his expression was perfectly neutral. friendly in that distant way that made your chest ache with something sharp and painful.

he went back to his knives without another word and you grabbed the coffee, made exactly how you liked it because of course he knew, because he paid attention to every single detail about you even when he pretended not to care. 

you settled into your usual chair and the silence felt different now, heavier somehow, weighted with all the things he'd said and apparently didn't mean. you kept waiting for him to say something, to reference what had happened, to look at you the way he had last night like you were the only thing in the world that mattered. but he didn't. he just hummed under his breath while he polished his blades and acted like you were exactly what you'd always been. his sidekick. his weapon cleaner. his nothing.

it made you want to scream.

"we have a job tonight," he said eventually, still not looking at you, still focused on the knife in his hands like it was more interesting than you could ever be. "information gathering. should be simple."

"okay."

"you'll handle the south entrance. i'll take north. in and out, no engagement."

"sure."

he finally glanced up and for just a second, barely a heartbeat, you thought you saw something flicker in his expression. something soft and vulnerable that made hope bloom stupidly in your chest. but then it was gone and he was back to business, back to treating you like an employee instead of someone he'd held close and whispered promises to. 

"good. be ready by eight."

you wanted to ask what the fuck last night was about. wanted to demand he explain why he could say things like i've been yours since the moment i found you and then act like you were just another person on his payroll. wanted to grab him by the shoulders and make him look at you properly, make him acknowledge what had happened between you. but you didn't. because maybe you'd imagined it all. maybe you'd read too much into his words, into the tension that had felt so real, into everything. maybe this was just how he was and you were pathetic for thinking it meant something more.

so you just nodded and drank your coffee and pretended your heart wasn't cracking into smaller and smaller pieces with every second of his indifference.

it became a pattern after that, this torture of back and forth that made you feel like you were losing your mind. sunoo would have these moments, these brief and devastating instances where he'd touch you like you were precious, where he'd say things that made your entire world tilt sideways, where he'd look at you like you were the answer to every question he'd never asked. and then the next day he'd be distant and professional again. like the intimacy had never happened at all, like you'd dreamt the whole thing.

three days after the knife-cleaning incident, you were inventorying supplies in the back room, trying to focus on the mundane task and not think about him, when you felt eyes on you. you knew without looking that it was sunoo, could feel the weight of his attention like a physical touch, and you let him watch for a full minute before you finally turned around.

"can i help you?" you asked, trying to sound normal and failing miserably.

he pushed off the doorframe where he'd been leaning and walked toward you, slow and deliberate, each step measured like he was stalking prey. you backed up instinctively until you hit the shelves and then he was right there, close enough that you could smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off his body. 

"you've been quiet lately."

"i'm always quiet," you managed, even though your heart was trying to punch through your ribs.

"no. you're always thinking. there's a difference." his hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and his fingers lingered against your neck, thumb pressing gently against your pulse point like he was counting your heartbeats. "what's going on in that head of yours?"

you. always you. the way you touch me like this and then don't talk to me for days. the way i can't tell if i'm losing my mind or if you actually feel something for me. the way you're driving me insane with this hot and cold routine and i don't know how much more i can take.

"nothing important," you said instead, because you were a coward who couldn't handle the possibility of rejection.

his eyes searched yours for a long moment, dark and intense and unreadable in a way that made you want to scream with frustration. then he leaned in close enough that his lips brushed against your ear and his breath was hot on your skin. "liar."

and then he walked away like he hadn't just touched you in a way that made your knees weak, like he hadn't just proven once again that he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

the next two days he communicated exclusively through text messages about jobs, brief and professional, like you were just another contact in his phone instead of someone he'd had pressed against a shelf with his hand on your throat.

a week later you made the mistake of wearing a new shirt, nothing special really, just something that actually fit properly instead of the oversized hoodies you usually hid in. sunoo took one look at you when you walked into the warehouse and went completely still, his entire body tensing in a way that made your breath catch.

"what?" you asked, suddenly self-conscious under the weight of his stare, resisting the urge to cross your arms over your chest.

"nothing." but his eyes were tracking over you slowly, taking in every detail in a way that made heat crawl up your neck and spread across your cheeks. "you look nice."

"it's just a shirt," you said, aiming for dismissive and landing somewhere closer to flustered.

"mm." he crossed the room and then his hand was settling on your waist like it belonged there. just resting there with his thumb stroking against your hip bone through the fabric in a way that made it impossible to think. "suits you."

your breath caught in your throat and his hand was so warm, his touch burning through the thin material of the shirt, and he was close, so close that you could see the exact shade of his eyes and count his eyelashes and smell the mint from whatever he'd been drinking. your brain went completely offline, every thought scattering like startled birds, and all you could focus on was the point of contact where his hand met your body.

"wear it more often," he murmured, voice low and intimate, and then he let go and walked away like he hadn't just set your entire body on fire with a single touch.

that night he sent you on a solo job and didn't speak to you until you returned hours later, and by then he was back to being distant and professional like the moment in the warehouse had never happened.

it was torture, actual psychological torture, this constant back and forth that left you reeling. you didn't know which version was real anymore, the sunoo who touched you like you were precious and looked at you like you hung the stars, or the sunoo who acted like you were just another piece on his chessboard, useful but ultimately replaceable.

you were starting to think maybe they were both real, that maybe he did care about you but didn't know how to show it consistently, or maybe his feelings were just as fucked up and complicated as yours and he was struggling with them the same way you were. 

or maybe, and this was the thought that kept you up at night staring at your ceiling, maybe he just liked having power over you. liked knowing you were obsessed with him, liked watching you orbit around him desperately waiting for scraps of affection, liked the control he had over your emotions.

you didn't know which option was worse.

it was three weeks of this torture when everything fell apart.

you were supposed to be gathering intel on a hero safehouse, simple reconnaissance that should have been easy. in and out, no engagement as always (sunoo had been very clear about that part). but when you got to the location you found him already in the middle of a fight with three heroes instead of the one target you'd been expecting.

one of them was heeseung, some hotshot hero with energy manipulation who'd been climbing the ranks fast and making a name for himself taking down villains. he was good, really good, moving with a precision that spoke of serious training, and he'd brought backup that was equally competent.

sunoo was handling them fine because of course he was, nothing could hurt him after all, but they were coordinated enough to be annoying. they were keeping him busy, working together to contain him, and you could see what they were doing even from your hidden vantage point. they were stalling, buying time, waiting for more backup to arrive and overwhelm him with numbers.

you should have stayed hidden like sunoo had told you to, should have trusted that he had everything under control, that he could handle three heroes without breaking a sweat. but then you saw heeseung pull out some kind of device, something that glowed with concentrated energy that looked dangerous even from a distance, and he was pointing it at sunoo's back while sunoo was occupied with the other two heroes. 

your body moved before your brain could fully process what you were doing, before you could think about consequences or strategy or the fact that sunoo specifically told you to stay out of it.

you dropped from your hiding spot and tackled heeseung, momentum and surprise on your side, sending the device skittering across the pavement. his eyes widened in surprise before narrowing with recognition as he recovered quickly.

"the sidekick," he said, already shifting into a fighting stance. "sunoo's little pet."

"fuck you," you snarled, already moving because you'd committed now and there was no backing out, no retreat.

heeseung was faster than you'd expected, stronger too, his energy manipulation letting him create shields and weapons simultaneously in ways that made him incredibly difficult to pin down. but you were good too, sunoo had been right about that even if he never let you prove it in any way that mattered. you'd trained for this, spent hours preparing for exactly this kind of fight, and you held your own against him.

at least until one of the other heroes broke away from sunoo and joined heeseung against you. then you were outnumbered and outmatched, fighting two enhanced heroes at once, and you felt the exact moment things shifted from manageable to genuinely dangerous. you heard the crackle of energy building, felt the heat of heeseung's power gathering in the air around you, and you knew with sudden terrible certainty that you were about to take a hit you might not recover from.

your eyes found sunoo across the chaos without meaning to, some instinct making you seek him out. he was closer now, had taken down one of the other heroes and was moving in your direction, and his eyes met yours across the space between you. they were dark and unreadable and intense in a way that made your breath catch even now, even in the middle of this disaster.

then heeseung's partner appeared next to sunoo, the hero with enhanced speed that you'd forgotten about in the chaos. 

"got something you want?" he called out, gesturing at you with one hand while holding up the device you'd knocked away from heeseung with the other. "then come get it!"

sunoo's eyes moved between you and the device and you could see the calculation happening in real time, could see him weighing options and running through scenarios, could see the exact moment he made his choice.

he went for the device.

turned away from you, from the fact that you were surrounded and outmatched and about to get seriously hurt, and went for the fucking weapon instead like it mattered more than you did.

the smirk he threw over his shoulder as he moved, that tiny curve of his lips that usually meant trust me i have a plan, felt like a knife sliding between your ribs and twisting.

heeseung's energy blast caught you in the ribs before you could process what had just happened, before your brain could make sense of sunoo's choice. the pain was blinding, white-hot and all-consuming, spreading through your entire body like fire. you went down hard and your head cracked against the concrete with enough force to make your vision blur at the edges, everything going fuzzy and wrong.

you heard heeseung saying something but the words were muffled, distant, like you were underwater. you felt hands grabbing your arms and hauling you up and you tried to fight, tried to make your body respond, but everything hurt and nothing was working right.

"hey, hey—stop." that was heeseung's voice, much closer now, and he sounded concerned in a way that didn't make sense. "she's actually hurt. we need to—"

"she's a villain," his partner said from somewhere to your left. "we should call it in, get her processed—"

"she's a person," heeseung interrupted, and suddenly his hands were on your face, tilting it up gently, and his expression was genuinely worried in a way that made something crack open in your chest. a hero was worried about you. a hero was checking your injuries with careful hands and looking at you with concern while sunoo, while your partner, the person you would have died for, had just walked away like you didn't matter.

"where's your backup?" heeseung asked, and he sounded almost sorry, like he felt bad for you. "your partner. he should be here, he should be helping you—"

"he left," you said, and your voice came out broken and shattered, barely recognisable. "he left me."

heeseung's expression shifted to something like anger mixed with disbelief. "what?"

"got what he wanted." you tried to laugh but it turned into a cough that brought the taste of blood to your mouth. "the device was more important than me."

"that's—" heeseung looked genuinely furious now, more angry on your behalf than you'd seen him during the entire fight. "you jumped in to save him. i saw you. you protected him from the device and he just left you here?"

"yeah," you said, and the word felt hollow and empty, like it was coming from someone else. "he did."

the pity in heeseung's eyes was somehow worse than the physical pain, worse than the cracked ribs and the head injury and the fact that you could barely stand. this hero who was supposed to be your enemy understood that you'd just been abandoned by the person you loved, the person you would have died for, the person who apparently didn't think you were worth choosing.

"i'm sorry," heeseung said quietly, and you could tell he meant it, could hear the genuine sympathy in his voice. "that's not—you deserve better than that."

the laugh that escaped you was bitter and sharp and tasted like blood. "apparently not."

you managed to create an opening then, throwing a smoke bomb you'd been saving for emergencies and using the confusion and heeseung's momentary distraction to run. your ribs screamed with every breath and your head was pounding and your vision kept going fuzzy, but you didn't stop or look back. just ran until your legs finally gave out three blocks away in some abandoned alley.

you'd cracked at least two ribs, maybe three. there was blood in your mouth and dripping down your face from somewhere and your vision kept threatening to go dark at the edges. but you were alive. you'd saved yourself because apparently no one else was going to do it.

the worst part, the absolute worst part that made you want to curl up and sob, was that a hero had shown you more concern in five minutes than sunoo had during that entire fight. he had looked at you like you were a calculated risk he'd decided not to take.

you pulled out your phone with shaking hands that you couldn't quite control and called the one person who might help you. not sunoo though, never him again.

"yeonjun," you gasped when he picked up, barely able to get the words out. "i need a favour."

yeonjun was a former villain who'd gone straight, someone you'd worked with before you met sunoo. he didn't ask questions, didn't demand explanations, just gave you an address and told you to get there however you could manage.

you abandoned your phone in the alley after you hung up because sunoo could track it and you weren't stupid enough to think he wouldn't try to find you eventually. you took only what you could carry in your current state and disappeared into the night, every step agony but necessary.

if sunoo thought a device was more important than you, then he could have it. he could have everything—his knives and his plans and his fucking invincibility and his empty warehouse. you were done.

the safehouse yeonjun set you up in was small and dingy, but it was off the grid and that was all that mattered. he helped you patch up your ribs without asking what happened, just gave you supplies and space and resources and promised not to tell anyone where you were.

you were there for three days when the nightmares started, vivid and terrible and relentless. dreams where you watched sunoo turn away over and over, where you felt heeseung's energy blast hit you again and again, where you died alone in that alley because you weren't important enough to save.

but worse than those were the dreams where heeseung's pitying expression played on repeat, the way he'd looked at you like you were pathetic, like he felt sorry for you. a hero feeling sorry for you because even he could see that sunoo had abandoned you, that you'd been left behind.

you woke up gasping every time, ribs aching with the movement, and you'd remind yourself that you'd made the right choice. that leaving was self-preservation, that staying would have killed you eventually if not physically then emotionally, that you deserved better than someone who would leave you to die.

but it hurt. god, it hurt so much it felt like dying anyway. because despite everything, despite him choosing a weapon over you, despite the mind games and the hot-and-cold behaviour and the way he'd played with your feelings for weeks, you still loved him. you still wanted him. you still missed him with an intensity that felt like it was tearing you apart from the inside.

you were so pathetic. heeseung had been absolutely right to pity you.

but at least you'd had enough self-respect left to leave. at least you could say that. at least you'd chosen yourself when sunoo had made it clear he wouldn't.

you stayed in the safehouse and tried to figure out how to rebuild a life that didn't revolve around kim sunoo, that didn't orbit around him like he was the sun and you were just a planet caught in his gravitational pull.

it felt impossible.

sunoo stared at the empty alley where your phone lay abandoned, screen cracked and battery dying. the tracker he'd embedded in it blinked weakly before going dark and something in his chest went cold in a way he didn't recognise. you were gone. he'd come back for you, of course he'd come back for you, it had been a few minutes, the device was fake anyway, just a test from the heroes to see if he actually cared about his sidekick, and you were just. gone.

the heroes had scattered. you'd disappeared. and sunoo felt something he hadn't felt in years, not since he'd discovered his invincibility and realised nothing in the world could touch him. fear. actual bone-deep terror that made his hands shake and his breath come short because you were his and you were gone and he didn't know if someone had taken you or if you'd left on your own and he wasn't sure which option made him want to burn the world down more.

he tore through the area with increasing desperation, checking every shadow, every hiding spot, every possible place you could have gone. his knives were out and his hands wouldn't stop shaking and the fear was morphing into something darker now, something that tasted like rage and felt like madness

he found the smoke bomb residue first. then the blood, your blood, spattered on the concrete in a pattern that spoke of injury and pain. there were signs of a struggle, of you fighting your way out, of you getting hurt while he was dealing with a fake fucking device that didn't matter, because the only thing that mattered was you and he'd left you and now you were gone.

something in sunoo's chest cracked wide open and what poured out was violence.

the first building went down at dawn. sunoo walked into the heroes' main headquarters and started killing people. anyone who got in his way, anyone who might know where you were, anyone who existed in his path became a target. he was calm about it, almost detached, asking each person the same question before his knives found their throats.

"where is she? where did you take her?" 

none of them knew. they were all surprised, confused, trying to fight back against someone they couldn't hurt. it didn't matter. sunoo killed them anyway because maybe the next one would know, maybe the next one would tell him where you were, maybe the next body would bring him closer to finding you.

heeseung found him three buildings later, surrounded by corpses, covered in blood that wasn't his own because blood was never his own, nothing could make him bleed, nothing could hurt him except apparently the gaping absence of you.

"sunoo, what the fuck—" heeseung stopped in the doorway, eyes wide as he took in the destruction.

"where is she?" sunoo's voice was deadly calm. he turned to face heeseung with his knives still dripping. "my sidekick. where did you take her?"

"we didn't take anyone—" heeseung's expression shifted as he processed the scene. "holy shit, what did you do?"

"where. is. she." sunoo started walking toward him and there must have been something in his face, something terrifying, because heeseung actually backed up a step. "i won't ask again."

"i don't know! we let her go after—" heeseung stopped and his expression changed to something like understanding mixed with disgust. "after you left her."

the words hung in the air between them, sharp and accusatory. after you left her. like it was sunoo's fault. like sunoo had abandoned you instead of making a tactical choice that should have taken forty-five seconds and somehow cost him everything.

"i came back," sunoo said quietly, and his voice was empty in a way that made heeseung tense. "i came back and she was gone."

"yeah, well." heeseung's hands crackled with energy, preparing for a fight he had to know he couldn't win. "can you blame her? you chose a device over your own partner. she was hurt, sunoo. cracked ribs, possible concussion, bleeding, and you just walked away like she was nothing."

sunoo moved. he was across the room before heeseung could blink, knife pressed against the hero's throat, and his hands were shaking again but his voice was steady. "don't. don't you dare act like you know anything about what she means to me."

"i know you left her to die," heeseung spat, and there was genuine anger in his voice, genuine disgust. "i know i showed more concern for her in five minutes than you did in that entire fight. she was devastated. she actually thought—she believed you didn't care about her."

something in sunoo's chest twisted violently and the knife bit into heeseung's skin, drawing blood. "the device was a fake. a test. i knew it was a fake. i was calling your bluff, proving it was empty so you couldn't use it as leverage. i was going to come right back for her."

"but you didn't," heeseung said, and his eyes were hard. "you didn't come back in time and she ran. and honestly? she deserves better than someone who would leave her surrounded by enemies just to prove a point."

sunoo's knife sliced deeper and heeseung choked, hands coming up to try and push him away, but sunoo was invincible and furious and utterly past caring about consequences. "she's mine. she's mine and i'm going to find her and i'm going to fix this."

"you really think she's going to take you back after—" heeseung's words cut off as sunoo's blade found his throat properly this time, cutting deep, and blood poured hot over sunoo's hands.

"i'll make her understand," sunoo said to heeseung's dying face. "i'll make her see. she belongs with me. she'll forgive me because she has to, because we're meant to be together, because i'll burn this entire city down before i let her go."

he left heeseung bleeding out on the floor and continued his search, and over the next two weeks sunoo tore apart half the city looking for you. he destroyed three more hero headquarters, killed anyone who got in his way, followed every lead no matter how slim. he didn't sleep, didn't eat, could barely breathe properly because you were out there somewhere thinking he'd abandoned you. thinking he didn't want you. thinking you didn't matter when you were literally the only thing that had ever mattered in his entire life.

he finally found you through yeonjun. he had tracked down the former villain, cornered him in some shitty apartment, and the look on sunoo's face must have been terrifying because yeonjun gave up the address immediately, hands raised in surrender.

"she doesn't want to see you," yeonjun warned, but he was already backing away from whatever he saw in sunoo's expression. "she thinks you abandoned her. she's hurt and angry and she told me if you came looking to tell you to fuck off."

"i don't care," sunoo said, and his voice was hollow. empty. "i'm getting her back."

"sunoo, maybe you should give her space—"

"i've given her two weeks." sunoo was already moving toward the door, toward the address yeonjun had given him, toward you. "i'm not giving her another second."

the safehouse door didn't stand a chance against him. sunoo kicked it open hard enough that the wood splintered and there you were, on your feet immediately with wide eyes and an expression that was half shock, half something else he couldn't read. 

you were alive. real and solid and in front of him after two weeks of losing his mind, and sunoo couldn't help it, couldn't stop himself from crossing the room in three strides and pulling you into his arms.

he held you so tight it probably hurt but he couldn't make himself loosen his grip because you were here, you were okay, you were safe and alive and he'd found you. his hands shook where they fisted in your shirt and his face was buried in your hair and he couldn't breathe properly, couldn't think past the overwhelming relief that was making his chest ache.

"you're okay," he breathed against your hair, and his voice cracked on the words. "you're okay, you're here, you're safe, i found you, you're—"

you shoved him away hard enough that he actually stumbled back a step, too surprised to resist, and when he looked at your face you were crying. angry tears were streaming down your cheeks and your expression was furious and hurt and devastating.

"don't fucking touch me," you snarled, and your voice was shaking with rage. "you don't get to touch me. you don't get to just show up here after two weeks and act like everything's fine—"

"i'm sorry," sunoo said, and he could hear the desperation in his own voice. "i'm so sorry, i looked everywhere for you, i tore apart the city trying to find you—"

"sorry?" you laughed and it sounded broken, jagged around the edges. "you're sorry? you left me, sunoo. you looked right at me, you saw that i was surrounded and outmatched and about to get hurt, and you turned around and left."

"it was a test," he said desperately, taking a step toward you even as you backed away. "the device was fake, heeseung was testing to see if i cared about you more than the mission. i knew it was fake so i called the bluff. i was going to come right back for you, it was only going to take a minute—"

"but you didn't come back!" your voice cracked and more tears fell. "you didn't come back and i was hurt and bleeding and a hero showed me more concern than you did. heeseung looked at me with pity, sunoo. actual pity. because even he could see that you'd abandoned me, that you didn't give a shit about me, that i was just—just—"

your voice broke completely and sunoo felt something in his chest shatter because you believed it. you actually believed that you didn't matter to him, that you were disposable, that he could just walk away from you.

"that's not true," he said, and his voice came out rough and desperate. "that's not true, i came back, i swear i came back. a few minutes, that's all it took to dismantle the device and prove it was fake and i turned around and you were gone. i've been losing my mind for two weeks thinking someone took you, thinking you were hurt somewhere and i couldn't find you—"

"so what?" you backed further away from him and your hands were shaking. "you want credit for that? you want me to be grateful that you went on a murder spree after you abandoned me? that doesn't change what happened. that doesn't change the fact that when it mattered, when i actually needed you, you chose wrong."

"i chose strategically!" his voice rose to match yours and he was moving toward you again, unable to stop himself. "i made the smart call, the one that would get us both out safely. how was i supposed to know you'd run before i could come back for you?"

"maybe because you've spent weeks playing mind games with me!" you were yelling now and your face was flushed with anger and hurt. 

"you touch me like i matter and then ignore me for days. you tell me i'm yours and then treat me like i'm nothing. you say you'd burn the world down for me and then you literally turned your back on me when i needed you. you've given me nothing consistent except the absolute certainty that i'm not your priority, so yeah, when you walked away, i believed it. i believed that the device mattered more than me. i believed that i was expendable."

sunoo felt like he'd been stabbed, like something vital had been punctured and was bleeding out inside his chest. "you're not expendable. you're everything—"

"liar!" you grabbed something off the table, a glass, and threw it at him. he didn't dodge, didn't even try to, and it shattered against his chest and fell harmlessly to the floor. "you're a liar and i hate you and i want you to leave."

"no." sunoo shook his head and took another step forward. "no, i'm not leaving. not again. never again."

"i don't want you here!" you grabbed something else, a plate this time, and threw it harder. it hit his shoulder and shattered. "i don't want to see you, i don't want to hear your excuses, i don't want—"

you were grabbing things faster now, throwing anything you could reach, and sunoo just stood there and took it. took the mug that hit his chest, the book that caught his jaw, the vase that shattered against his ribs. he didn't dodge or defend himself, just let you express your rage in the only way you could because he deserved it. he deserved all of it and more.

your hand found a knife on the counter and you threw it with actual intent to harm, put real force behind it, and it hit him square in the shoulder and stuck there.

and he bled.

you froze immediately, eyes going wide as blood started soaking through his shirt, as the knife stayed embedded in his shoulder, as actual visible injury appeared on his body for the first time in the two years you'd known him.

"what—" your voice came out shaky and confused. "how did i—you're invincible, you can't—nothing can hurt you—"

sunoo looked down at the knife in his shoulder and the smile that spread across his face was delighted, absolutely manic, his eyes bright with something unhinged and adoring. he pulled the knife out slowly, watching blood drip from the blade, and then he was crossing the room in two strides and grabbing your waist, pulling you flush against him.

"no," he said, and his voice was soft and reverent and slightly crazed. "i'm not invincible, sweetheart. i'm immune to harm from everyone and everything in the world. except one person."

his hand came up to cup your face and his thumb stroked across your cheekbone, smearing a bit of his own blood on your skin, and his smile was soft now, tender in a way that made your breath catch.

"my true soulmate," he murmured, and his eyes were so dark, so intense as they stared into yours. "the other half of my soul. my perfect match. the only person in the entire world who can actually hurt me." his other hand tightened on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. "you. it's you. it's always been you."

your brain couldn't process this, couldn't make sense of what he was saying. "that's not—no. that's not possible. you've been fighting for years, you've never been hurt, you're completely invincible—"

"to everyone else," he interrupted, and his voice was patient like he was explaining something simple. "to everyone else i'm untouchable. but to my soulmate? to the person i'm meant to be with? i'm completely vulnerable. and i've known since the day i met you. i've known you were my mate since that jewelry store because you bumped into me while running and i felt it. this little spark of sensation that i'd never felt before. you could have hurt me then and you can hurt me now and you're the only one."

"stop," you whispered, but you didn't pull away from him, couldn't make yourself move out of his arms even though you were still so angry. "stop saying things like that."

"it's the truth." his forehead pressed against yours and his eyes slid closed like he was savouring this, savouring your proximity. "i'm obsessed with you. i've been obsessed with you for two years. i think about you constantly. the way you bite your lip when you're nervous, the way you try so hard to hide how you feel about me, the way you look at me like i hung the stars even when i know i don't deserve it. i kept you away from fights because i knew if you got seriously hurt i'd lose my mind. i pushed you away emotionally because i was terrified of what it meant that you could hurt me, that i had this weakness after years of being untouchable."

"you have a really fucked up way of showing you care about someone," you managed, but your voice was weak and your hands had somehow ended up fisted in his bloody shirt.

"i know." his eyes opened and the vulnerability in them made your chest ache. "i know i fucked up. i should have told you from the start. should have explained what you are to me instead of playing games and keeping you at a distance. but i was scared. i've never been vulnerable before. never had someone who could actually hurt me. and then you showed up and suddenly i had this thing in my chest that ached when you weren't around and i didn't know how to handle it."

"so you decided to give me whiplash instead?" you couldn't keep the bitterness out of your voice. "hot and cold, back and forth, never letting me know where i stood?"

"i was trying to protect myself," he admitted quietly. "if i kept you at a distance emotionally then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much that you could hurt me physically. if i didn't let myself care too much then maybe i'd survive it when you eventually figured out you could do better than me and left. but it didn't work. i just made you think i didn't want you when you're all i've ever wanted."

"you left me," you said again, and your voice cracked on the words because that was the core of it, the thing you couldn't get past. "you looked at me and you turned away and you left me there."

"i made a mistake." his hands were shaking where they held you and his voice was wrecked. 

"the worst mistake of my life. i thought—i was so sure i'd be right back, so certain i could handle it quickly and come back for you. i didn't think about how it would look from your perspective. didn't consider how it would feel to watch me walk away. i just saw the tactical solution and took it because that's what i always do, but i should have—" his voice broke. "i should have chosen you. fuck the strategy, fuck the heroes, fuck the optics. i should have gone to you first. always you first."

you wanted to stay angry, wanted to hold onto the hurt and use it as armour against the hope trying to bloom in your chest. "this doesn't fix everything."

"i know," he said immediately.

"i'm still furious with you."

"i know."

"you're going to have to work for this. no more games. no more pushing me away. no more making me guess how you feel."

"anything." his voice was fervent, desperate. "anything you want. i'll be so honest it's uncomfortable. i'll tell you every single thought i have about you. i'll stop protecting myself and just—i'll give you everything. i'll prove that you matter more than anything else in my life."

you opened your mouth to respond, to say something about how words were easy and actions were what counted, but he kissed you before you could get the words out. it was rough and desperate and consuming, his hands fisting in your hair and pulling you closer, angling your head exactly how he wanted it. you made a sound, half protest and half something else entirely, and he swallowed it, deepened the kiss, licked into your mouth like he was trying to devour you whole.

you bit his lip hard. hard enough to break skin and taste blood, and he moaned into your mouth like it was the best thing he'd ever felt.

"still mad at me?" he murmured against your lips when you finally broke apart to breathe, and you could feel his smile even though your eyes were still closed.

"furious," you gasped, but your hands were tangled in his shirt and pulling him closer instead of pushing him away, completely betraying your words.

"good." he walked you backward until your back hit the wall and his body pressed fully against yours. "stay mad. yell at me. hurt me. i don't care as long as you're here. as long as i can touch you. anything is better than the last two weeks thinking i'd lost you forever."

"you're insane," you managed, but it came out breathy and weak because his mouth was on your neck now, teeth scraping against your pulse point in a way that made your knees weak.

"for you, yes." his hand slid under your shirt and his fingers splayed across your ribs, right over the bruises that were still fading from heeseung's attack. "i've been going insane for two weeks. tore apart half the city. killed anyone who got in my way. couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't think about anything except finding you and getting you back and making you understand that you're mine."

your breath caught as his fingers traced over the bruises with devastating gentleness, like he was memorising the exact shape of them. "he hurt you," sunoo said, and his voice had gone cold and dangerous. "heeseung hurt you."

"you killed him already, remember?"

"not slowly enough." his fingers pressed just slightly harder against the bruised ribs and you hissed at the spike of pain. "i should have made it last days. should have made him suffer for every mark he left on your skin. should have made him understand what it means to hurt something that belongs to me."

"sunoo—" you didn't know if you were protesting or encouraging him, didn't know what you wanted except more.

"i'm going to make this up to you," he promised, and when he pulled back to look at you his eyes were dark with intent, pupils blown wide. "i'm going to make you feel so good you forget about the last two weeks. i'm going to touch you until the only thing you can think about is me. i'm going to prove that you're mine and i'm yours and nothing else matters."

"that's not how apologies work," you tried to say, but it came out shaky because his hand was sliding higher under your shirt and his thumb was brushing against the underside of your breast and you couldn't think.

"then tell me to stop." he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes properly, and despite the heat in his gaze there was genuine question there too. "tell me you don't want this and i'll stop. i'll leave. i'll give you space. i'll do whatever you need, even if it kills me."

you looked at him and saw the desperation in his expression, the way his hands trembled slightly where they touched you, the blood still soaking through his shirt from where you'd stabbed him. you thought about the last two weeks of nightmares and pain and missing him so much it physically hurt. thought about how even after everything, even after he'd left you and broken your heart, you still loved him. still wanted him. still felt like a piece of you was missing when he wasn't around.

"i don't want you to stop," you whispered, and your voice came out broken and honest. "i hate you and i want you and i'm so tired of fighting it."

something in his expression shifted, softened and sharpened at the same time, and then he was kissing you again. properly this time, slow and deep and thorough, like he had all the time in the world to learn the taste of you. you kissed back with everything you had, two years of want and frustration and love pouring out.

your hands tugged at his blood-stained shirt until he had to break the kiss to pull it off, and then you could see the wound on his shoulder properly. it was still bleeding sluggishly, the skin around it red and irritated, and you pressed your fingers against it without thinking.

he made a sound low in his throat and his eyes fluttered closed. "does it hurt?" you asked, fascinated despite yourself.

"yes," he breathed, and when his eyes opened again they were glazed with something that looked almost like pleasure. "do it again."

so you pressed harder and watched his face as he reacted. watched his breath catch and his pupils dilate and his hands tighten on your waist hard enough to bruise. there was something intoxicating about it, something that made heat pool low in your stomach. having this kind of power over someone who was otherwise completely invincible. being the only person who could hurt him, the only one who mattered enough to break through his immunity.

"you want to hurt me?" he asked, and his voice dropped to something dangerous and inviting, something that made heat pool low in your stomach. "go ahead, sweetheart. take one of my knives and make me bleed. i know you want to."

your breath caught because he was right. you did want to. wanted to see him bleed for you, wanted proof that you had this power over him, that you could affect him the way he'd been affecting you for two years. wanted to make him feel even a fraction of the pain you'd been carrying around.

"you're still angry," he continued, reading you like he always did, like you were his favourite book and he'd memorised every page. "still hurt. so take it out on me. i can handle it. i want you to."

he pulled a knife from his pocket, one of his favourites, the one with the black handle that he always kept razor sharp, and pressed it into your palm. his fingers closed around yours, warm and steady, holding your hand around the weapon. "go on."

you looked at the blade, then at him, at the absolute certainty in his expression. the trust. he was giving you the power to hurt him, offering himself up to the only person in the world who could actually damage him, and telling you to use it. encouraging it even.

your hand was shaking as you brought the knife up to his chest, pressing the tip against his skin just above his heart hard enough to dimple the flesh. "you really want this?"

"i want everything with you." his hand covered yours on the handle, applying gentle pressure until the blade bit into his skin and blood welled up around it, bright red against pale skin. "even the pain. especially the pain, because it means you're touching me. means you're here and real and mine."

you dragged the knife across his chest, not deep but enough to hurt, enough to part skin and draw a thin line of blood, and watched his eyes flutter closed like he was savouring it. watched his lips part on a sharp intake of breath that might have been pleasure. 

"fuck," he breathed, and when his eyes opened again they were glazed with something that looked almost euphoric. "again."

something dark and possessive unfurled in your chest at his reaction, something that liked having this power over him. you made another cut, parallel to the first, and he groaned low in his throat, a sound that went straight between your legs. his hands tightened on your waist hard enough to bruise and you were mesmerised by the blood running down his chest in thin rivulets, by the proof that you could do this to him.

"you like this," you said, and it wasn't quite a question because you could see it in his face, in the way his breathing had gone ragged.

"i love it," he admitted without shame, without hesitation. "love that you're the one doing it. love that you have this power over me. love that i can bleed for you when i can't bleed for anyone else."

you pressed the knife harder against his chest, dragging it down toward his ribs in a longer line this time, watching blood well up in the blade's wake like you were painting him. his stomach muscles tensed under your touch and his breathing was getting heavier, more erratic, more desperate.

"fuck," he hissed when you pressed the tip of the blade just above his hip bone, twisting it slightly to make it hurt more. his hand shot out to grab your wrist, not to stop you, just to steady himself, fingers digging in hard enough that you'd have marks later. "you have no idea what you're doing to me."

"i think i have some idea." you could see it in the way his pupils were blown wide, black almost completely swallowing the brown. could see it in the way he was already getting hard, the bulge in his jeans obvious and growing. "you're getting off on this. on me hurting you."

"of course i am." his free hand fisted in your hair, pulling you closer until your faces were inches apart and you could feel his breath on your lips. "you're the only person in the world who can make me feel pain. do you understand how fucking intoxicating that is?"

you dragged the knife across his collarbone, following the line of bone, and he groaned again. the sound was rough and desperate and so clearly pleasure that it made your own breathing pick up. blood was everywhere now, painting his chest in abstract patterns, dripping down his stomach to soak into the waistband of his jeans. he looked absolutely ruined and it was all because of you.

"that's enough playing around," he said suddenly, and his hand wrapped around your throat, not squeezing but possessive. his other hand plucked the knife from your grip easily. "my turn now."

he tossed the knife aside and before you could protest, before you could even process the loss of the weapon, he was on you. his mouth crashed against yours and the kiss was immediately desperate and consuming, his tongue sliding against yours while his hand tightened slightly on your throat. you could taste something metallic and realised with a start that it was his blood from where you'd apparently cut his lip at some point.

"been so patient with you," he muttered against your lips, walking you backward until your back hit the wall hard enough to knock the breath from your lungs. "letting you have your little tantrum. letting you cut me up like i'm your personal canvas. but i think that's enough attitude for one night, don't you?"

"i'm still mad at you," you said, even as your hands fisted in his bloody shirt, pulling him closer instead of pushing away like you should.

"oh, i know." his smile was sharp and mean as he pulled back just enough to look at you properly. "and i'm going to fuck that right out of you."

"you think it's going to be that easy?" you challenged, lifting your chin defiantly even though your heart was racing and you could feel how wet you already were.

"easy? no." his hand left your throat to work at your top, yanking it over your head roughly enough that you heard fabric tear. "but it'll be fun watching you try to stay bratty when you're falling apart on my cock."

"big talk from someone who—" your words cut off in a gasp as he shoved his hand down your pants without warning, fingers immediately finding how wet you were.

"from someone who what?" he asked, voice dripping with condescension as his fingers slid through your folds, spreading the evidence of your arousal. "go on, finish that sentence. oh wait, you can't, can you? not when you're this fucking wet for me already."

"fuck you," you managed, but it came out breathless and weak.

"you will be soon." he pulled his hand out and brought his fingers to his mouth, maintaining eye contact as he sucked them clean with obvious enjoyment. "mm. tastes like you're not as mad as you're pretending to be."

"i am mad—"

"then why are you dripping down your thighs, sweetheart?" he popped the button on your jeans and shoved them down along with your underwear in one rough movement. "why are you trembling? why can't you stop looking at me like you want me to ruin you?"

you opened your mouth to snap back with something cutting but he chose that exact moment to push two fingers inside you and the words dissolved into a moan that echoed embarrassingly in the small space. "

there we go," he said, and he sounded so pleased with himself it should have been annoying. "that's much better than all that talking back."

his fingers worked you with devastating efficiency, like he'd studied your body and knew exactly what you needed. they curled to hit that spot inside you that made your knees weak while his thumb circled your clit with perfect pressure. you were already embarrassingly close, wound tight from weeks of missing him and the adrenaline of the knifeplay and having him this close after thinking you'd never see him again.

"look at you," he murmured, his free hand coming up to grip your jaw firmly, forcing you to meet his eyes. "getting so close already. want to come on my fingers, baby?"

"yes," you gasped, past the point of playing hard to get or pretending you didn't want this desperately.

"ask me nicely."

"what?"

his fingers slowed to an agonising pace that had you wanting to cry from frustration. "i said ask me nicely. where are your manners?"

"please," you gritted out, hating how desperate you sounded but needing the release too badly to care about pride.

"please what?"

"please let me come."

"hmm." his fingers stopped moving entirely and you actually whimpered, a pathetic needy sound. "i don't know if you deserve it yet. you've been pretty bratty. throwing things at me, stabbing me, running away for two weeks and making me think you were dead..."

"sunoo, please—"

"tell me you're sorry," he demanded, and his eyes were dark and intense and utterly serious. "tell me you're sorry for leaving and i'll let you come."

your pride warred with need and need won decisively. "i'm sorry," you gasped out. "i'm sorry for leaving, please, i need—"

"good girl." his fingers resumed their movement immediately, faster now, harder, and you were right back on that edge within seconds. "see how easy things are when you behave?"

you came with a cry that was probably too loud, clenching around his fingers rhythmically, and he worked you through it with a satisfied smile on his face. but before you could catch your breath, before you could even start to come down, he was pulling his fingers out and spinning you around, pressing your front against the wall.

"now here's what's going to happen," he said against your ear, his body a solid line of heat against your back. "i'm going to fuck you against this wall until you forget why you were mad at me. and you're going to take it and thank me for it. understand?"

"you're so full of yourself—" you started, but cut off with a gasp as you felt him line himself up, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance.

"and you're about to be full of me," he said, and thrust in with one brutal movement that punched the air from your lungs.

you cried out at the stretch, at the way he filled you so completely you could barely breathe. he was big, bigger than you'd expected, and the angle had him hitting so deep it bordered on too much, on the edge of pain.

"fuck, you're tight," he groaned against your neck, and his voice was wrecked in a way that sent another wave of heat through you. "squeezing my cock like you don't want to let me go. thought you were mad at me?"

"i am," you managed, but it came out weak and breathless and completely unconvincing.

"sure you are." he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in, setting a punishing pace that had you seeing stars. "that's why you're taking my cock so well. that's why you're already getting wet again. because you're so mad at me."

"shut up," you gasped, but you were already pushing back against him, meeting his thrusts, chasing the pleasure.

"make me." his hand came up to wrap around your throat from behind, not squeezing but possessive, claiming, owning. "oh wait, you can't. you're too busy moaning for me."

he was right and you hated it. every thrust hit perfectly, the angle letting him go so deep you could feel him everywhere, feel him splitting you open. your legs were shaking, barely holding you up, and if it wasn't for his grip on your hip and throat you would have collapsed.

"this is what you needed, isn't it?" he panted against your ear, and each word was punctuated by a thrust. "needed me to fuck some sense into you. needed to be reminded who you belong to."

"i don't belong to anyone," you tried to argue, but it came out more like a moan than actual words.

"liar." his hand slid from your hip to between your legs, fingers finding your clit and circling it with maddening pressure. "you're mine. have been since that jewelry store. you just needed a reminder."

"sunoo," you gasped, feeling yourself getting close again impossibly fast, your body responding to him like it was made for this.

"that's right. say my name. let everyone know who's fucking you this good." his pace got harder, more erratic, and his fingers worked your clit in tight circles. "come on my cock, sweetheart. show me who you belong to."

your second orgasm hit even harder than the first, your whole body seizing up as pleasure crashed over you in waves. you heard yourself crying out his name, felt yourself clenching around him rhythmically, and it was so intense you actually saw stars, your vision whiting out at the edges.

"fuck, that's it," sunoo groaned, and his rhythm was faltering now, getting sloppy. "feel so good when you come. so perfect. gonna fill you up. gonna make sure you remember this."

he thrust into you one final time, grinding deep, and you felt him pulse inside you, filling you with heat. for a long moment neither of you moved, both gasping for air, bodies slick with sweat and blood and completely wrung out.

then he was pulling out carefully, gently, and turning you around. he caught you when your legs threatened to give out, his arms coming around you to hold you steady. his expression had shifted, the mean dominant edge smoothed away into something softer, more vulnerable.

"can you walk?" he asked, and there was genuine concern in his voice now.

"maybe," you managed, still trying to catch your breath and make your brain work again.

"good enough." he scooped you up easily like you weighed nothing, carrying you toward the bed. "we're not done yet."

"sunoo, i can't—" you started, genuinely not sure your body could handle more.

"yes you can," he said simply, and there was that commanding tone again that made your stomach flip. 

"you're insane," you said, but you didn't push him away when he laid you down on the mattress and settled between your legs.

"we've established that." he looked up at you through his lashes, and even covered in blood and sweat he was beautiful. "now be a good girl and let me taste you."

before you could respond, his mouth was on you and his tongue was licking through your folds, tasting the mixture of both of you. you nearly came off the bed from the sensitivity, it was almost too much.

"too much," you gasped, hands flying to his hair, trying to push him away.

he just grabbed your wrists and pinned them to your sides, not even pausing in his ministrations. "i don't remember asking," he said against you, the vibration of his words making you whimper. 

"sunoo—"

"what did i say about talking back?" he looked up at you and his eyes were dark and stern. "every time you argue, i'm adding another orgasm. want to keep going?"

you shut your mouth immediately, and he smiled. "that's what i thought. now stay still."

he went back to work with renewed focus, his tongue circling your clit while keeping your wrists pinned to the bed. you were so sensitive that every touch felt electric, overwhelming, bordering on painful but in a way that still felt good.

"that's better," he murmured between licks, his breath hot against your oversensitized flesh. "no more attitude. just taking what i give you like a good girl."

despite the oversensitivity, despite thinking it was impossible, you felt it building again. he was making it happen with that devastating tongue, working you with the kind of precision that came from paying attention, from caring.

"sunoo, i'm—" you gasped, your hips trying to move but he held you down effortlessly.

"i know." his tongue moved faster and you could feel him smiling against you. "give it to me. one more, baby. you can do it."

when you came this time it was almost painful, the pleasure so intense it felt like electricity shooting through your entire nervous system. you were vaguely aware of crying, of making sounds that didn't sound human, but you couldn't stop it, couldn't control your body's response.

sunoo worked you through it gently this time, his tongue softening as you came down, pressing soft kisses to your inner thighs while you shook and gasped and tried to remember how to breathe. when he finally pulled back, you were completely wrecked, trembling and boneless and utterly spent.

"look at you," he said softly, crawling up your body to gather you into his arms. "so pretty when you let go."

you couldn't even form words, just buried your face in his chest and breathed in the scent of him. blood and sweat and something uniquely sunoo that made your chest ache with how much you'd missed it.

"come on," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "let's get you cleaned up."

he carried you to the bathroom and this time you didn't protest, too exhausted and wrung out to do anything but let him take care of you. he started the shower and helped you under the spray, his hands impossibly gentle now as he washed you with careful attention.

"did i hurt you?" he asked quietly, his fingers tracing over the marks he'd left on your body. the bruises blooming on your hips and wrists, the fingerprints on your throat. "too rough?"

"no," you said honestly, leaning into his touch. "just... intense."

"good intense or bad intense?"

"good," you admitted, feeling heat rise to your cheeks despite everything you'd just done. "really good."

he smiled softly at that, genuine and so beautiful it made your chest tight. "good. i never want to actually hurt you. even when i'm being mean."

"you were pretty mean," you said, but there was no heat in it, just fond observation.

"you liked it," he countered, and when you didn't argue, his smile widened into something more smug. "knew you would. knew underneath all that attitude you just needed someone to put you in your place."

"don't get cocky."

"too late." but then his expression softened again as he washed your hair with careful fingers, working through the tangles with patience. "but i'll try to be humble. for you."

"you're bleeding," you pointed out, looking at the cuts on his chest that were still seeping blood sluggishly into the water running down the drain.

"i know." he sounded almost pleased about it, like the wounds were a gift. "they'll scar. i'll have marks from you forever. i like that idea."

when you were both clean, when the water had finally run clear and all the blood was washed away, he dried you off with a towel and found one of your shirts. he helped you into it despite your weak protest that you could dress yourself, then carried you back to bed and settled you against his chest with your head tucked under his chin.

"i love you," he said quietly into the darkness, his hand stroking through your damp hair in soothing motions. "i know i'm fucked up about showing it. i know i hurt you. but i love you more than anything. you're my everything."

"i love you too," you whispered. "even when you're an asshole."

"especially when i'm an asshole," he corrected with a soft laugh. "that's when you get the most worked up."

"shut up."

"see? bratty even now." but his tone was fond, affectionate, full of something warm. "get some sleep, sweetheart. i'll be here when you wake up."

"promise?"

"i promise," he said seriously, and you could hear the weight of it in his voice. "i'm never leaving you again. never making you doubt how important you are to me. you're stuck with me now. for better or worse."

"mostly worse," you mumbled, already drifting off, exhaustion pulling you under.

you fell asleep wrapped in his arms, feeling safer and more content than you had in weeks, and for the first time since everything fell apart you felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

note 2: the whole soulmate thing was inspired by this!

if you liked this please comment or reblog to give me your feedback! <3

foxes have heightened senses, and their hearing is especially strong, so it’s a wonder how sunoo didn’t hear you approach. the bathroom is warm, leftover steam from your morning shower fogging up the mirrors. sunoo is half-lost in his thoughts, fingers resting on the edge of the sink, eyes unfocused. his ears are angled forward, alert but distant, tail swaying slow behind him like he’s running on autopilot. sometimes he drifts off like this, unfocused and daydreaming about this or that.

you come up with the brilliant idea to spook him a little, all good natured though! you take a step closer, then another, until you’re right behind him, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from him. “boo!”

the sound that leaves him is embarrassingly sharp. sunoo jumps hard, a breathless gasp tearing out of him as his body jolts forward. he spins around, and his eyes are wide, his ears flattened tight against his head. his tail fluffs, heart clearly racing as his chest rises and falls too fast. then, when he realises that no, he isn’t about to die, he sees you. relief crashes into him so hard it almost makes his knees buckle.

“oh-!” he exhales, shaky laugh slipping out as his hand presses to his chest, plush lips forming a pout. “don’t do that to me..”

“you were completely gone,” you say softly, stepping closer to hug him. “didn’t even notice me.”

he huffs, embarrassed, ears pinned low to his head. “yeah..guess i spaced out,” his body hasn’t fully settled yet. there’s tension clinging to him, buzzing under his skin. without really thinking about it, you lift your hand and reach for him, fingers brushing the soft fur of his ear.

the reaction is instant and visceral.

sunoo inhales sharply, breath catching like you’ve pulled it straight from his lungs. his whole body freezes for half a second, then gives in. his eyes flutter shut, head tilting into your hand without permission, like his hybrid instincts override his human instincts before he can stop them.

“oh..” he breathes again, quieter this time.

you pet him slowly, thumb smoothing over the sensitive base of his ear. his ears flatten further, but not from fear, moreso something a little more trusting. his shoulders drop, a soft shudder running through him as he leans back against the counter, like he suddenly needs it to stay upright. his tail, now considerably less fluffed up, curls around your leg. usually, he does this playfully, or a way to ground himself, but this is nothing like those times. this is more possessive, more intimate, like he needs to be touching you.

“you can’t just-” he cuts himself off, voice already wrecked, and all you’ve done is pet his ears a little. it’s honestly a little bit pathetic. your fingers shift, scratching lightly now, nails dragging just enough. his breath breaks completely, becoming shallow and uneven, chest rising fast as his hands tighten on the counter, grip slipping just a little. a small whine slips out of him before he can stop it, and his cheeks burn instantly. “i..i didn’t mean-”

“sunoo,” you cut him off, stepping impossibly closer, your free hand resting against his side. “tell me if it’s too much.”

he shakes his head immediately, forehead tipping forward until it rests against your shoulder. “no,” he says, barely audible. “it’s just…” he trails off hesitantly, but it’s clear he doesn’t want you to stop, so..

you don’t stop. you pet and scratch deliberately, fully aware of how sensitive he is under your hands. every little movement pulls a reaction from him, whether it’s his ears twitching, or his tail tightening around your leg, body pressing closer without him realizing it. his breathing turns rougher, heat radiating from him as he slowly unravels beneath your fingers

another soft whine slips out of him, longer this time, and he doesn’t even try to apologize. instead, he exhales shakily against your shoulder, fingers digging into the counter like he’s holding himself back from doing something he might regret. “you know my ears are sensitive…” he whines, looking up at you with the most pitiful look in his eyes, begging you for something even he doesn’t know. is he begging for you to stop, or to keep going?

you slow slightly, just enough to keep him right on the edge of control and he whines again, his eyes fluttering shut. his tail stays wrapped around you, body taut and needy in a way that makes the air between you feel unmistakably heavy. when you finally ease up a little, letting your fingers rest instead of move, he’s breathing hard, eyes still closed, forehead pressed to you like he doesn’t trust himself to pull away yet.

when sunoo does open his eyes, they’re dark and his pupils are blown wide. he doesn’t hesitate to lean in, lips brushing your cheek, lingering just a little too long to be innocent. his tail flicks once, slow and deliberate. “if you keep doing this,” he murmurs quietly, “i don’t think i can stop..”

he barely gives you time to breathe before he’s kissing you again.

it’s hungry and needy, like he’s been holding himself back for too long and something finally snapped. his lips press into yours with urgency, kisses messy like he’s trying to pour everything he’s feeling into your mouth. a soft, broken sound leaves him the moment you kiss him back, relief and want tangled together. you try to pull back, to give him some air, but he whimpers in protest, and his hands grip you tighter, unwilling to stop, even if he needs to breathe.

one of his hands trails down to grip at your waist, fingers digging in like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. the other slides up your back, pulling you fully against him, body heat overwhelming, breath hot and uneven against your lips. his tail uncurls from your leg, as if he doesn’t have the strength to keep it there anymore.

“don’t..” he pants against your mouth, already kissing you again before he finishes his sentence, ike he’s addicted to the taste of you. “don’t tease me like that…it’s too much,”

you feel how shaky he is, how every little touch sends another wave of trembles through him, and you want to see how far you can go. your hand drifts back again, hovering near the base of his tail, and his reaction is immediate and desperate.

sunoo gasps, the sound loud and uncontrolled, forehead dropping against yours as his whole body tenses. “please,” he whispers, voice breaking. “please don’t do that..!”

you giggle, your fingers brushing his tail anyway. “why? can’t take it?”

he loses it.

a desperate moan tears out of him as he tries (and fails) to get away from your touch. his ears flatten hard, trembling, tail whipping around like he’s anchoring himself. his breathing turns frantic, chest rising fast as he buries his face against your neck, and you can feel him breathing heavily against your skin. “i can’t..” he pants softly. “please.. not- not there...” but it’s too late, the effect of having what’s effectively one of the most sensitive parts of his body touched and prodded at frying his brain, until all he can think about is you.

he kisses you again, sloppier now, desperate and uncoordinated, like he needs it more than air. everytime you try to pull away he follows immediately, whimpering quietly when you don’t give him enough. his body is flushed and tense, desperation written all over him. when you finally get him to calm down a bit, his skin is flushed, leading down his chest, underneath the hoodie he’s wearing.

“poor baby,” you murmur, lips brushing his jaw, “look how worked up you’ve gotten over a few pets..” to solidify your point, you reach down to pet the base of his tail again.

it flicks erratically, and he moans softly, his grip tightening again, grounding himself through you, like you’re the only thing keeping him from tipping over completely. even though you’re the reason he’s like this.

he’s pressed so close there’s no mistaking the way his body reacts. he moves, trying to get away from the torture you’re putting him through, and in doing so, his hips shift against you, his very hard cock rubbing against your thigh.

sunoo moans loudly, and his grip on you tightens suddenly, almost panicked, like he’s just realized what’s happening and doesn’t know what to do with it. “oh..” he exhales sharply, his head falling down to your neck again, too embarrassed to look at you. his voice comes out strained, embarrassed and desperate all at once. “this is..this is bad…”

his tail jerks, fur fluffing slightly before curling tight again, and you feel the way his body goes rigid for a second, like he’s trying to will himself back under control. it doesn’t work. another shaky breath leaves him, chest pressing closer without him meaning to.

“see? a few touches and you look like you’re about to cum in your pants like a virgin,” you tease him, your hand falling to his head and pulling at his hair to get him to look at you.

the pain makes him whimper loudly, his ears flattening against his hair completely. his entire face is flushed, pupils blown so wide the brown of his eyes is completely hidden. his body gives him away anyway, cock absolutely throbbing where you can feel it, and he knows this. “you can feel it, can’t you?” he whispers, embarrassed as all hell. there’s no point denying anything, not when you’re pressed so close to him you could feel everything.

“i can.. it’s kind of pathetic, honestly. getting so hard from your tail being touched? i bet you could cum untouched from this, can’t you?” your grip moves from his hair to his chin, anchoring him in place.

he shakes his head no, too desperate to even properly deny it. he’s a sight - lips swollen and red from kissing, his eyes are half lidded, and his cheeks are flushed the prettiest shade of red.

“please,” he whines, chest pressing impossibly close against yours. his hands clutch you without thought, gripping your waist, your back, literally anywhere he can hold, fingers digging just enough to ground himself as if letting go would destroy him. his ears flatten fully now, tail twitching erratically with every small movement, every brush of your skin sending shivers down him. he looks so desperate, so fucked out already, and you haven’t even properly touched him.

he pulls back just slightly, forehead resting against yours, breath hot and uneven. eyes dark, pupils wide, glossy with need and want. “i-” he pants, voice trembling. “i can’t- i can’t think straight .. not when you do this to me..”

he presses his lips to your cheek this time, pulling you impossibly close. “you don’t even know what you’re doing to me,” he whispers, sighing shakily. “i don’t know how much longer i can…”

he trails off, breaking into a broken sound of frustration and want. the tension in him is unbearable like everything in him is just screaming to collapse entirely into you and let himself go, but he holds back just barely, teetering on the edge of desperation

you can feel it all. the way his body trembles, how desperate he is, how hard he is, and all because of you touching him. it brings a strange sense of pride to you, that you could destroy his sanity and ruin him all with just a few touches and words.

sunoo lifts his head just enough to look at you, his eyes glazed over and unfocused. he presses his mouth to yours once more, full of need and desperation and pure unadulterated lust. when he finally pulls back slightly, it’s with a shaky, ragged breath.

“we… we shouldn’t-” he whispers, voice hoarse, but there’s no real argument in it. the desperation visible in his eyes, and the way you can still feel how hard he is against your hip says everything he doesn’t. he wants this, probably even more than you do. “please…” he begs, voice high and broken. you’re not even sure if he knows he has started to grind against your thigh, just chasing pleasure wherever he can get it. “i-i can’t hold it, don’t stop, please!”

he humps harder into you, frantic motions that make you feel how badly he’s trembling with every fiber of his body. his chest is heaving, lips parting around desperate whines, and his fingers clutch your waist like if he lets go he might actually fall apart.

you haven’t even said much, too enamoured by him and how borderline pathetic he’s being. you’re just letting him do all the talking. “there you go, you’re doing so good, aren’t you? take what you need, i got you,” you’re not even sure if he heard you over the sound of his own moans, but you lean down to kiss his forehead anyway.

he shivers violently, humping against you harder, ears flicking back and forth like he can’t even contain himself. a whimper slips from him, and his lips find yours again in a messy kiss, clinging to you for grounding while every instinct burns hot and raw beneath the surface. it’s so much and he feels like he’s going insane, but he doesn’t want to stop, can’t stop.

“please…i can’t…” he whimpers, his voice trembling with the threat of tears. “help me..”

of course, you take his plea very seriously. after all, what was it that got him this desperate to begin with? yes, his ears and tail. so, like the generous person you are, you slide your hand down his back until you reach the base of his tail, scratching it gently.

this breaks sunoo. he positively wails, tears finally falling from his eyes. his hips stutter once, then he continues humping like a dog in heat, albeit more frantic now. he can’t stop. he’s full on crying, pretty brown eyes fluttering shut and then widening again. he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

it kind of turns you on, how he’s so lost in pleasure and desperation that he’s crying and grinding against you with no rhythm. “good boy.. there you go. you gonna cum for me, hm? like this?” you scratch at his tail again, relishing in the strained moan it pulls from him.

“i..” he can’t even finish his sentence, his voice cracking. his head drops to your shoulder again, hands gripping your waist like he’s holding on for dear life. his hips keep moving, as if he physically can’t stop. you can feel him throb, even underneath his clothes. you don’t bother telling him to undress, it’s far too late for that and you have an inkling that if you tried to pry him off of you, he would have a fit

“good boy.. just keep using me, okay?” you giggle at him, and you can tell he’s reaching his peak. he’s not even properly talking anymore, reduced to pathetic whimpers and soft sobs. his hips stutter where they’re humping you, and you can feel the wet patch of pre-cum from where he has definitely soaked through his clothes. “such a messy little fox, are you gonna cum like this?” with your free hand, you reach down to cup his cock through his pants, rubbing the tip where you know he’s particularly sensitive at the same time that you scratch the base of his tail again.

“ah!” he moans, louder than he has all night. “please.. ‘m gonna cum..” he sobs, tears running down his face and collecting on your neck. his pleasure peaks, raw and unfiltered, and he grinds against you frantically, all sense of rhythm completely gone as he chases his high. his hands grip you tighter, essentially pulling you against him as he thrusts, using your body for his pleasure. it’s so fucking hot, seeing him lose all self control and just using you like this, crying and whimpering for you to let him cum.

“you wanna cum? go on, make a mess of yourself, let me see it,” you finally, finally give him permission to cum, and that does it for him.

sunoo’s hips stutter for a second, body shivering violently, and he moans so fucking pathetically that you can feel a sharp sting of arousal, but you push it down in favour of focusing entirely on him. you can feel every spurt of cum from where he’s pressed against your thigh, he cums so much that it soaks through his clothes, a big wet patch forming on the crotch of his pants. you hold him through it, whispering soft praises against his ear as he cries softly, shaking with the force of his orgasm.

“good boy, you did so well for me, did that feel good? you did such a good job, did everything you were told to do.. my little fox,” you’re whispering, waiting for his shaking to ease up a little and the sobs wracking his body to calm down.

eventually, sunoo calms down to the point that he’s no longer sobbing, just soft sniffles, but he stays curled against you, trembling slightly even as the initial rush fades. his ears twitch against his head and his lips are parted around soft pants, chest rising and falling unevenly. he buries his face in your shoulder like he’s trying to hide the lingering heat and the embarrassment clinging to him.

“i-i can handle the cleaning up,” he mumbles weakly, his voice completely hoarse. he tries to push away gently, fingers brushing at your arms as if to create space even as he stumbles and his legs tremble. “really… i can- can clean up myself…” even as he mumbles this, his eyes are still unfocused and glazed over.

you nudge him lightly, tilting his face up to meet yours. your voice is gentle but firm. “nope. not today, little fox. let me take care of you., i know that was pretty intense. just… relax, okay?”

his ears twitch, tail flicking nervously, and a small whine escapes him. “b-but… i’m fine…” a lie, even he doesn’t believe it. all he wants to do is curl up beside you and sleep the rest of the week away.

“nope,” you repeat, brushing a loose strand of hair from his damp forehead, your thumb lingering at the curve of his cheek. “i’ve got you. you just stay right here. i’ll make sure you’re okay.”

he whines, this time in displeasure, but he doesn’t argue back. he’s too spent to do anything except listen to you. you laugh softly, brushing your fingers down his chest, hands careful, slow, comforting. “you just went through… a lot. you need me right now. i’ll be careful, i promise.”

he lets out a shaky breath, leaning into your touch, eyes wide and glistening. “i.. it feels sensitive.. there,” he flushes red, embarrassment written all over his face. “s-so.. please be careful?”

your hands tighten gently around him, stroking his back and shoulders, calming him before you move your hands downward. “i know,” you murmur. “i’ll be extra careful. just trust me.”

he whimpers softly, pressing his forehead to your shoulder again. “i trust you… but-”

you hush him with a finger to his lips, leaning down to press a soft kiss there. “no buts, baby. just let me take care of you.”

slowly, you begin undressing him, paying no attention to his whines of protest. you’re extra careful taking his soiled pants off, knowing that any wrong touch could make him uncomfortable. “lift your legs, that’s it, good boy,” you make sure to praise him even for the bare minimum. aftercare, especially after something as intense as this, is super important. “i’m just gonna grab a washcloth, okay?” he whines again, words failing him, but you don’t need to move very far anyway, considering you’re in the bathroom. you wet it aith warm water, and walk back to him, noticing his eyes tracking your every move. “cute,” you mumble, beginning to clean the leftover cum from his inner thighs and his cock, being extra cautious and shushing him with a soft tone every time he winces. “it’s okay, i’ll be quick,” quick, but efficient. sunoo will not be dealing with dried, crusty cum on his body thank you very much! your touch is gentle, careful of every sensitive nerve.

his eye slip shut, leaning his body against you for support. he feels.. vulnerable. all too soon, the high crashes, and he spirals a little. “i… i don’t deserve all of this…”

“yes, you do,” you murmur, pressing your forehead to his again. “all of it. you’re my baby, and i take care of you. no arguments.” you take his hand in yours, grounding him. reminding him where he is, who he’s with.

thankfully, he wasn’t pulled too deep in, and he sighs softly, melting into your touch. the sincerity of your words, and the care and gentleness you’re handling him with are enough to calm him slowly, his body relaxing little by little, though the shiver and sniffle reminds you just how sensitive he is.

when you’re finished, you look up at him. he looks like he’s about to knock out for a week, and you giggle softly. “hey there, don’t fall asleep on me just yet!”

he hums noncommittedly, nuzzling his face into your neck. “thank you..” he mumbles into your neck, kissing the skin he has access to.

you hold him close, pressing soft kisses to his head and brushing your hands through his hair. “always, little fox,” you murmur. “i’ll always be here for you.”

he brushes his cheek against the junction between your neck and jaw, tail curling possessively, and it takes you a minute to realise he’s scenting you, even if it doesn’t work as well as it would with other hybrids. it melts your heart, making you hold him that much tighter.

“good boy,” you murmur, brushing his damp hair away from his forehead. “just take it slow… you’re doing perfectly.”

he sighs into your neck, making sure you’re thoroughly scented, even if you can’t tell. he can.

once he’s lucid enough, you help him out of the bathroom to quickly pad into your room. he’s shivering slightly, although this time it’s from the cold, so you quickly pull out a pair of sweatpants for him to change into. they’re soft cotton, gentle on his sensitive skin, although he squirms when the fabric touches the skin of his inner thighs.

“there,” you murmur, brushing your fingers down his back. “clean, and in warm clothes. feel better?”

he nods weakly, pressing his forehead to your shoulder, his tail curling lightly around your waist. “much better… thanks,” he whispers, voice soft and small. “…’m tired”

you smile, ruffling his hair gently. “come on, you look like you need a lot of cuddles right now.”

you take his hand and guide him to the bed, as soon as you’re both under the blankets, he positively *melts*, curling up against you immediately, content whines escaping as he burrows closer.

“you’re warm,” he murmurs, burrowing his head into your neck. you hold him close, arms wrapping around him, fingers threading through his hair in soft motions.

“i’m not going anywhere,” you murmur, pressing soft kisses to the top of his head, over his ears. “you stay right here. we’ll stay like this as long as you want.”

he lets out a small, happy whine, tail brushing your side, ears flicking in contentment. “thank you.. for everything,” he whispers softly as he cuddles impossibly close, so close you can’t tell where you end or he begins, forehead resting against your chest. “i needed this..”

you keep petting his hair, listening as his breathing evens out and watching his face settle into a peaceful expression. he’s out like a light, obviously exhausted from everything. it’s cute, how even though he’s deep in sleep, his arms stay wrapped around you and his tail curls lightly around your thigh, making sure you don’t leave him. you settle down, your own eyes heavy, and you fall asleep with the lingering thought of you’d never leave him anyway.

CHAPTER. 𝐈

Jake is the kind of man the room adjusts itself around, and he’s well aware of that. That’s the kind of aura you’d bring in as a rich upperclassman who’s got a personality charming enough for the crowd to stand and stare in hopes of deciphering him. He didn’t mind that, as if anyone could see beyond his fuckboy yet scholar persona that he wore so well. 

He’d learned to read rooms earlier on in his life, not because he was a people pleaser, seeking validation, but the kind of man who loved the comfort others predictability provided him with. People liked what they thought they understood, and Jake had become very good at letting them think they did. 

It was orientation day for the new cohort in his major—something that was mostly a formality for him by now, standing up in the front with the module leader, watching the first years filter into the room with the same blend of anticipation and nervousness, which only lasted a week or two. 

You weren’t any different from the lot, excited to explore the new stage of your life, though you seemed to hide it well with a calm demeanour, minus the faint smile on your face. Arriving early was a good start for you, especially when you met two girls who were more than happy to accommodate you into their friendship which had formed not more than ten minutes ago, already feeling promising. 

They’d been eager to introduce themselves, dropping their names—Karina and Giselle, as you found a seat together, chatting as everyone settled down, learning the basics about each other. You listened more than you spoke, relaxed now that you didn’t feel alone in a new place. Your presence was subtle, blending in with others, or so you thought. 

Karina’s eyes roamed around the room, “my friend also studies here, she’s in the second year, y’know?” She spoke up all excited, making you both lean in as her eyes settled on someone, “fuck. She did tell me about this guy called Jake being fine, but damn, he looks so good in real life.” 

You followed the direction of her stare, simply out of curiosity, finding the module leader fixing her mic, and a figure standing right next to her, garnering attention effortlessly. 

He definitely seemed good looking, standing tall and looking around the room, but you didn’t see beyond that, letting out a small, “oh, he does look confident.”

“That’s one word for it, I’ve also heard he’s got a bit of a reputation of fucking around. How that rumor got spread on a university level is beyond me,” Karina shrugged. 

“I’d tap that,” said Giselle, obviously interested in the man. 

It made you all laugh faintly at her, the topic switched fast after that, something about roommates and campus tour, not knowing that Jake had his eyes on you, not too intense for the others to notice, but still there, easily lip reading how you’d reduced him to one word—confident. 

Right then, the module leader tapped the microphone, “alright everyone, if we could settle down.”

Everyone was quick to obey, the room shushing down into faint whispers, and then absolute silence except for the leader’s voice, who introduced you to the basics of University and the course. You were quick to note down everything that felt important to you. 

“This is Jake Sim,” the module leader spoke again, gesturing to him, “he’s one of our second years, the class representative, and he’s kindly agreed to help out with orientation this week. If you have questions about the course or the department, he’s your person.”

A ripple of chatter went through the room as you looked up at him again, just like everyone else did, only to find his eyes on you for a split second, before he gave everyone a smile, nodding in acknowledgement. 

“Welcome! I’m Jake,” he spoke up smoothly, slight Australian accent evident in his voice, “I promise it’s not as hard as it seems right now, our professors just like to scare new students.”

That earned a few laughs from the students around you, even one from the professor. Karina snorted, “look at him lying, it’s uni, it’s supposed to be scary.”

“Well, you can’t just go ahead and say that in front of everyone, can you?” Giselle rolled her eyes, and you nodded with a look, which successfully pissed Karina off, before all of you chuckled slowly. You were genuinely happy to have found those two so early in your day, being friendless at a new place honestly sounded like a nightmare to you. 

Jake went on explaining the basics and what to take care of as a student. You listened carefully, simply because his voice seemed perfect for someone who’d do public speaking, eyes wandering around the room to make sure everyone listens to him. 

Meanwhile Karina has started talking about this new amazing lipgloss she’d gotten and you both hummed in agreement when she showed it to you.

“A lot of you might feel left behind at some point,” Jake’s voice boomed, “but that doesn’t mean you are, you just need to pay more attention.” His eyes were now on you again, but you couldn’t make it out from the distance, especially with the glasses he wore. 

“Is he trying to tell us to pay attention?” You asked, amused now and the girls agreed furiously. 

“Oh he definitely saw us talking,” Giselle mumbled. 

The speech went on for a while, before the professor kindly asked the second year students to go around and take up doubts, because the first years looked way more scared now that the modules and assignments were laid out in front of you. 

You three didn’t have any questions per se, but Giselle still wanted to talk to whom she now called ‘a fine piece of ass,’ raising her hand with such excitement, it knocked Karina towards you, your pen falling down in the process, which you didn’t register. 

One second year was moving towards your group, but Jake’s eyes were quicker, and so were his legs. Within seconds, he stood right where you sat, “having doubts, hm?” He asked with a little smile. 

“I just wanted to ask what professor should we steer clear of,” Giselle shrugged and you all chuckled. 

“Trust me, all professors are good, just make sure to be good in front of Mr. Park,” he whispered the last part, his voice sweet enough for the girls around you to swoon. 

With a nod, you ended that interaction, but Jake didn’t want that. He bent down without saying anything as your phone buzzed, your attention diverting, which was quickly brought back to him as he extended his arm, holding your pen out. 

“Oh,” you said, surprised, giving him a faint smile at the kind gesture, “thank you.”

Your fingers brushed his, and for a second, you thought that he wasn’t letting go, feeling the warmth of you with the little touch, before he finally let you have it, the same gentle expression on his face. 

“Welcome to Decelis University,” he mumbled, still looking at all three of you, but his focus was definitely on only one of you, which you had failed to register yet again, “hope to see you guys at the freshers mixer tonight,” he smiled, tapping the desk twice before he walked to the others who had doubts. 

“Damn,” Giselle said, completely smitten as Karina giggled, meanwhile you checked your phone. 

boyfie: all okay there, love?  you: all good so far, can’t wait to tell you about it :3 boyfie: perfect, see you at home ❤️

“Let’s go, explore the university now!” Karina suggested, or more like—she insisted. 

You both nodded, linking arms as soon as you were allowed to leave, walking out as if you’d known each other since childhood. 

Not knowing that Jake stood there, eyes following you out till your figure disappeared behind the door. 

CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐈

For someone who liked to live a simple life, you’d probably overexerted yourself a lot today, considering you were sitting in Karina’s Mercedes Benz as she drove exceeding the speed limit for that road. 

“You’re going to get us killed!” Your fingers tightened around the seatbelt as the wind caressed your face in high hopes of calming you down.

Meanwhile, Giselle didn’t hold back with her scream, a low chuckle leaving Karina’s lips, “don’t worry, girls. I know this route like the back of my hand.” 

She was right about that one, the car surged confidently in precision, unfamiliar streetlights slipped over your face in intervals, illuminating fragments of your reflection in the half open window—tired eyes, and a faint smile that hadn’t fully left you yet. You checked your phone without thinking, the familiar name on your screen calming you more than anything could ever do. 

“See?” Karina said, slowing just enough as neon signs began to crowd the pavement, “we’ve reached, all alive.”

Giselle clapped dramatically, “barely did. But yeah, we’re alive.”

Inside the club, it was exactly what you’d expected—dim yet impactful strobing lights, bodies pressed together in the corners making you realize just how quick people were to make connections, and of course, the loud music booming around. Karina slipped into it effortlessly, already weaving through someone in the crowd, the guy she’d met earlier during the uni tour, while Giselle followed just behind her, laughing and moving to the beat without a second thought. You stayed close at first, letting yourself be pulled along, letting the rhythm guide you for a fair few songs, enjoying it in small bursts even as you felt it beginning to wear on you.

It was too new. The new city, new crowd, new faces—something you weren’t used to, having done all of this with either your childhood friends, or that one person you trusted the most. It didn’t take long before the room started to feel smaller with unfamiliar hands brushing past you more often than you liked. When it became a tad too much, you excused yourself easily enough, telling them you were going to grab a drink before either of them could protest.

A certain man looked your way as you leaned against the counter, waiting, fingers resting lightly against the cool surface while condensation gathered on the glass in front of you. You hadn’t even taken a sip when someone stepped into your space, close enough that your shoulders tensed instinctively before you turned to face him.

It was evident that he was drunk, and you were still polite as you declined his filthy invitation, but he was beyond comprehension now, leaning in as you prepared yourself to push him. 

Jake was quick to appear with a smile on his face, patting the guy on his back twice, as if meeting a friend, “mate,” he muttered, voice calm, “think you good?” 

The guy just nodded, each movement sloppy as you stared at Jake, your heartbeat rising at the situation and doubt of what it could’ve been without his intervention. Jake only smiled, guiding him away to what seemed to be his friends, “take care of this one,” he muttered bitterly once you were out of the hearing range. 

You closed your eyes, letting out a shaky breath just as Jake appeared again with an apologetic smile on his face, “sorry about that one.”

“Thank you,” you replied, passing him a small smile of your own, “for helping. It would have been a nasty scene if I had slapped him.” 

Jake let out a quiet breath of laughter at that, the corner of his mouth lifting like he could picture it all too clearly, impressively so, “yeah, probably best for everyone that it didn’t come to that.”

His gaze flicked back to the glass in front of you as you took a sip which you didn’t really enjoy. Without saying anything, he reached for it, arm extended and his veins evident through his black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, fingers wrapped over yours for barely a second, tipping your drink slightly and adding a splash of coke to it. 

“Here,” he said, handling it back to you. 

“Oh, thank you.” You took a sip, enjoying the flavour a lot better now, “that’s actually good.”

Jake observed it—the tension of your shoulders easing into the same comfort you had with the friends you made earlier. A little gesture adding more to his character, making him rather trustworthy in the sea of drunken strangers. He leaned against the counter in silence, “I’m glad.” 

“I better get going,” you said, pointing at Karina who waved your way as Jake followed your eyes, nodding with yet another smile he so easily wore. 

“Have fun, will see you around,” he said, pushing off the counter as you both parted ways. 

He found an empty stool, sitting right where he could keep a check on all students, just as the other second year students were doing. It had been a few minutes, but he could see you typing something on your phone, eyes filled with exhaustion. Yet you were cheerful when you hugged your friends goodbye as they teased you about something Jake couldn’t quite decipher from the distance. 

Then you were quick to walk outside, waiting by the door. Jake had followed you without any ill intentions, just stopping right before he witnessed your eyes shining as you made your way into the car that stopped right in front of the club. You were quick to enter the car with a wide smile on your face as Jake watched with his eyebrow raised, even more so when you leaned in to kiss the man who sat in the driver’s seat. 

He clicked his tongue at the minute PDA, his smile deepening into a smirk when the car pulled away and the lights bled into the darkness, attention fixated on where you’d been moments ago. He turned back inside after a moment, already replaying the details, already adjusting his understanding, aware that some things didn’t fit neatly into place and never really were meant to.

And Jake had never been very good at leaving anomalies unexplored.

CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐈𝐈

“Fuck,” Jake groans, his plush lips bitten with the need to chase the high he couldn’t achieve, thrusting into the girl he couldn’t even bother remembering the name of, and the only response he got was an incoherent wail of pleas, the whole room could feel the reverberating noise of skin slapping. 

The girl was more than overstimulated, almost crossing the line between heaven and hell with how satisfied she was, but Jake? He could only close his eyes, gathering a little of what he’d seen of you the past few days. Granted, it wasn’t much, yet it was definitely enough to keep him riled up and going, the pace only increasing as he finally hit that one spot, yet another deep groan leaving his throat as he filled up inside the condom he wore. 

Nothing else could be heard for the next few seconds, simply the deep sound of breathing. The silence being enough for Jake to shake his head with his jaw tight as he got up, grabbing fresh clothes from his closet, “I’ll call a cab for you.”

“Wait—you won’t let me stay? You said you liked me,” the girl asked, barely being able to get up.

“You know what you signed up for, hm?” Jake only smiled, leaving the girl alone to freshen up in the bathroom. By the time he came out, the girl was gone, just as he intended. 

Making his way downstairs, he found the two of his friends playing Valorant, acknowledging his presence the second he walked in, “were you trying to kill her? The fuck are you so frustrated for, huh?” Jay asked. 

Sunghoon chuckled, “he couldn’t fuck the girl he’s been staring at from the past few days,” he explained with a smirk. 

Jake found humour in this too, dragging his veiny hand through his hair, still feeling the aftershocks of what was meant to be a satisfactory act for him, “you paying attention now?” 

“Just fuck her if you want to man,” Jay urges. 

“She’s got a boyfriend,” Jake mutters, grabbing a can from the fridge. 

“That never stopped Sunghoon, y’know?” The boys chuckled at that. 

Sunghoon glanced at him sideways, controller resting idle in his hands, “you’ve actually been weird lately,” he said, “almost like sex doesn’t satisfy you anymore.”

Jake took a slow sip of his red bull, eyes fixed on the muted glow of the television screen, the game paused mid-fight, “maybe I’m bored,” he replied, voice almost amused, “same faces, same convos. Gets old, y’know?”

Jay snorted, “you? Bored?” He shook his head, “now that’s new.”

Jake shrugged, setting the can down before standing again, “I’ve got stuff to do, will be back.”

Upstairs, his study room felt too quiet, Jake sat on the edge of his bed and opened his laptop, the screen lighting up with pages he hadn’t bothered closing earlier—Uni portals, timetables, other social feeds he kept as background noise but never really were. He clicked through them absent-mindedly at first, then with more precision, eyes narrowing as he found what he was looking for.

You had never told Jake your name, you didn’t really have to. He was efficient enough to find out the basics himself. All it took was a few minutes of cross checking the orientation lists, narrowing it down by majors and the list of students with their ID photo popped up, it was rather easy for Jake. He leaned back, whispering your name, hand resting on his lips when he further started to learn more, curiosity getting the best of him. 

And so, it wasn’t much when he found your socials, not having a lot of info on them, yet enough for your stories to tell him exactly what your new favourite drink was from the Library cafe, the last few books you’d read, even an insight on your letterboxed filled with myriad of movie reviews, some of which he even took the time to watch. 

Jake leaned back slightly, elbows resting on his knees as the laptop buzzed quietly. His eyes flicked to another tab—one he’d opened days ago and never bothered closing. The mentorship program. It was mandatory for all first years, even Jake was involved last year. Though it’s randomly assigned, Jake took the liberty to make the list himself, the other class representatives gladly handed the task over to him in hopes of not being burdened with further work themselves. 

He smirked to himself, of course he couldn’t let such a pretty girl be bothered about the basics of University when he was right there to guide you, well, amongst other students he took under his wing. People do this when they’re infatuated, don’t they? Your relationship won’t be much of a problem since he only wanted to get close, just a little. 

He repeated your name again, in a softer tone now, with the surety that no one could say it better than he did. He saved all the files, shutting the laptop down and staring at the few pictures he’d managed to print out, specifically the one with your boyfriend, his face crossed out with a blood red marker. He set the photo face-down on the desk as he stood up, smoothing the front of his shirt. 

He flicked the light off and closed the door behind him, already wearing the version of himself everyone expected to see. When he joined his friends again, he dropped back onto the couch easily, leaning forward to grab a controller, his smile relaxed and unremarkable. Jay shot him a glance but didn’t question it, too focused on the game to notice how settled Jake looked now, how satisfied.

And as the screen lit up with movement once more, Jake played along like nothing had changed at all, knowing full well that everything had.

CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐕

You liked your Uni so far, you’d adjusted into your new life now, better than ever. It was quite a dream come true to you, living with your boyfriend, almost like starting a new book with all happy tropes incorporated into one. The one year you were without him was enough for you to apply to a university in his city, where he worked. It all worked out beautifully, well, as much as it could, because not everything went in the way you wanted it to. 

It already had been half a month since the lectures started, and you were scrolling through the new mails, finding a new one popping up right then, labelled as Mentorship Guidance. It was a formality for all students, six of them being assigned to a senior with monthly meetings to ensure everyone’s doing well, a familiar name attached at the bottom of the mail—Jake Sim. 

You were glad it was someone you’d met before, he seemed reliable from what you’d gathered, but your attention was diverted quickly once your boyfriend entered the room, engulfing you in a back hug which you so lovingly accepted. This is the life you’d always wanted, even though your boyfriend did stay busy with work most of the time. 

Jake didn’t think so, he thought you deserved better even when he saw your boyfriend dropping you off for the mentorship meeting three days later. He’d arrived early, he liked to ensure everything went just the way he wanted, absolute perfection of the plan he’d thought of. The small seminar room was quiet when he entered, making sure the seats were relaxing and the atmosphere warm. 

He set the drinks down one by one, six cups in a neat line, lids pressed on firmly, sleeves placed carefully so no one burnt their fingers. It would look like thoughtfulness to them, a harmless senior trying to make first years feel welcome, and that was the whole point. He’d made sure there were options, of course, because he wasn’t careless, but there was only one cup he’d checked twice before leaving the café—yours. 

He’d ordered it the way you liked it, right down to the small preference you hadn’t even written out properly, the detail tucked into a story caption that disappeared within twenty-four hours. Jake remembered it anyway, the same way he remembered the shape of your smile the night you’d climbed into that car.

He sat down only after everything was placed exactly as he wanted it, choosing the seat that gave him the best view of the door right before the students started to arrive in the room. Jake had taken a note of everyone’s names and basics, just to seem like a good mentor. A guy came in first, followed by the other students as he greeted them all with their names. 

Then you walked in and Jake’s focus shifted entirely, as if everything else in the periphery became noise to him. You looked more confident now, as if you’d been settling in well, wearing that necklace you always fidgeted with. 

“Hey, good to see you,” Jake smiled smoothly, making you smile and nod with politeness. 

He introduced everyone naturally, feeling this surge of emotion when he reached you, your name rolling off his tongue naturally, exactly how he had practiced all this while, “Before I start, I got a little something for you guys,” he says, reaching for the drinks and passing them around, “I got a few random ones, I hope you guys like it.”

You were surprised when you took a sip—it was the drink you had liked, and to your pure luck, you’d gotten the same one here, a small smile making it all worth it for Jake, who was a keen observer of everything. He’d wondered how you’d look so up close again, in bright daylight with nothing to hide, each crease of your smile was visible, and he took a note of it all, as if it was a meeting for him. 

The meeting went by smoothly with how easygoing the group was, the conversation shifting into something more casual now, Jake let it happen, watching the shift with quiet satisfaction, easing back in his chair like he had intended this to happen.

“So,” he said lightly, resting his forearms against the table, fingers loosely interlaced, “how’s everyone surviving so far? Be honest, yeah? This is a safe space.”

Someone laughed, “barely surviving,” a girl near the window said. “I swear the reading list is longer than my fucking will to live.”

That earned a ripple of chuckles, even from you, and Jake caught it—the way your lips curved before you looked down again, fingertips grazing the side of your cup. He smiled alongside. 

“It evens out,” he said easily, “give it a few more weeks.”

“You moved here for uni?” Someone asked you, and you nodded.

“Well—yeah. It’s easier for me since my boyfriend already works here,” you nodded and the girl squealed. 

“Are you living together?”

“Yeah, his apartment is also close to the uni, which actually helps,” you smiled fondly, not knowing how Jake focused on this extra piece of information you’d just dropped so casually, staring your way as you sat right next to him. The conversation then shifted to something else, and you were glad once the meeting was over. 

Your bag slipped just as you were getting up, a few pens and notebook falling down in the process. Jake was quick to pick everything up, along with you, setting most of it in your bag as you thanked him. It was clear he was a kind man, always there to help anyone under any circumstances, failing to register the small device he put in the corner, which looked exactly like the pen you’d dropped on your orientation day. 

“You’re so kind,” you smiled, taking the bag back before leaving along with other students, completely missing the look of pure pleasure on Jake’s face as he slid your lipgloss in his pocket without any guilt, your faint clean scent only making him go dizzy. 

He unlocked his phone, opening the app he’d installed which broadened into a map with a single red dot, which was now moving outside of the room where Jake stood. He grimaced at the thought of you going back home to a man, a man who clearly didn’t belong with you. It was no bother waiting there in the room, in fact, he took his sweet time to do some background research on the people around you, sitting in the seat where you sat earlier. 

The warmth gives him room to think, he doesn’t rush these things; rushing makes people careless, and Jake prides himself on never being careless. Instead, he lets himself sit with the irritation, with the image of you unlocking a door that isn’t yours alone, laughing at something a man says because he thinks he’s earned that right being by your side for what? A few years.

Not yet, Jake tells himself, calm as ever. He scrolls through what he already has—the basics. Names connected loosely enough to pass as coincidence, random public traces and patterns, everyone has a digital footprint, and god he’s more than delighted to find yours. Who you follow, who follows you back, which names repeat often enough to take into account. He pays attention to timelines more than content, noting who appears consistently and who drops out of the picture without explanation. Families leave different marks than friends do, and so do lovers who think they’re permanent.

Jake quickly switches the tabs on his laptop when a student enters the room again, claiming the headphones he’d forgotten, and Jake puts on his best smile as he returns it to him, bidding a goodbye before that smile drops. He pushes his glasses up witj one finger, checking the application which clearly showed your dot slowing down, stopping entirely by the next two minutes. 

His eyes trace the map, memorizing the location which was indeed only fifteen minutes away from the campus, five minutes from his penthouse. Close, just like you said. Ever so convenient for him, even you knew not to stray away so far from the person who was handmade for you. 

His eyes darkened when he pulled out the socials of your boyfriend, scoffing when he didn’t find a single picture of you there, absolutely no trace of having a girlfriend, as if you were not a goddess given to him in a human form. Jake would show you off enough to know you’re taken, he’d hide you enough for only him to know what you are from inside out. 

Did he even know how to make you feel good? Or that you have a twitter account to talk about your fantasies and the filthy eroticas you read? Could he make you moan? Make you feel satisfied? The thought enough had him chuckling with anger, a vein popping on his forehead. But it was okay, it wouldn’t last for long when you understand that you belong with him—to him. 

Completing his final assignment for the month, Jake rubbed his bottom lip, now he was free, having all the time in this world to devote to you, to your smile that allowed a faint dimple to grace your face on your right cheek, to your perfectly crafted body, to every single essence of your being and existence. 

He saw your dot moving just as he got up, checking the time—perfect for grocery shopping at the nearest Tesco, then he looked out the window to find the sky clear of any clouds, quickly diverting his gaze to his phone, the weather app open, indicating eighty one percent of precipitation in the next seven minutes, a smirk gracing his face. For the first time ever, he was thankful for this city to have unpredictable weather, something you were surely not accustomed with. 

If he gets his timing right, he could garner another interaction. He clicked his tongue with a smirk, zipping up his bag, and slinging it over his shoulder, walking out, leaving his car in the parking lot without much care as he walked, getting his timing right just for the first raindrop to fall on his lip, which curled as he saw you with your hands full—two bags of groceries, just as he thought. 

It was the right time to pull out his umbrella, taking in the second to watch your expression curl into one of absolute disbelief at the now dark sky with no way to cover yourself. Oh how beautiful you looked like that, struggling alone as if Jake wouldn’t build a whole shop right next to your apartment if you’d just ask. 

It was then that he stepped into your peripheral vision, holding the umbrella in a way that you’d see his face, your eyes widening in recognition, whispering his name before you could stop yourself. It was perfect, the way Jake looked surprised as he stopped, eyeing your state as raindrops cascaded down your face like he didn’t stare at you before. 

“Y/N,” he smiled, holding the umbrella over you without saying much, “fancy seeing you here.”

Your eyes told him exactly how happy you were for the cover, “yeah! Do you live around here?” You asked with that little smile of yours which was more polite than genuine. 

Jake hummed, “my apartment is ten mins away from here. I see with the groceries, you must live around too.”

He knew exactly where you lived, he just wanted to hear it from you, and he felt that buzz inside him when you nodded, and explained how it’s five minutes away for you. 

“Let me help then,” he whispered, brushing his fingers against yours as he took a hold of the bag that seemed heavier, without giving you a chance to complain, but you still did. 

“Oh, you don’t have to!” You were shaken almost at the sudden act, not scared, but rather at the easy show of his helping nature, the control he held over every situation, just how he was always there to help. You didn’t question it, you ran into your classmates all the time around this area. 

“I can’t let you carry it all alone now, can I?” He showed you the boyish grin of his, making you smile, this one seemed rather genuine, sending sparks right down Jake’s pants, “guide me, okay?”

You nodded, “thanks, Jake. You’re genuinely so sweet,” you muttered, and you did mean it, not knowing what that did to Jake, but he knew it was the perfect time to instigate. 

“It’s my pleasure. Why are you doing groceries alone though?” He asked, just how normal people do, trying to make small talk. 

“Oh—uh, my boyfriend works till eight, so I just take care of the rest of the things,” you smiled as if it was normal, highly aware that you were giving out your details to him. 

Wrong. Jake wouldn’t let you do that, fuck, he won’t let you work at all, you deserved to be treated like a princess so all you could focus on was him and studies, nothing else should matter. 

“That’s fair,” he forced himself to say, “I’m glad you have someone with you here.”

“Me too!” You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes, as if something had happened, something you wouldn’t tell an acquaintance, but he still took his chances, slowing a little when he saw your house coming into view by the next turn, the perfect spot with absolutely no CCTVs. 

“You sure you’re good?” 

You paused for a second, thinking about how to frame your words, especially since you didn’t wish to make your boyfriend sound bad, especially because you were telling it to someone who was still a stranger, “yeah, I just wish we could have more time to spend together now that I’m here.”

“He sounds like a good man, working hard for you,” Jake replied, voice soft under the patter of rain, “I hope you get whatever you want,” he let out, absolutely not meaning it. 

You saw him in a different light when he didn’t judge your situation, because your friends did when you told them the same. Jake was quick to catch that glint in your eyes, handling you the bag back when you stopped.

“I’ll walk from here, thank you for helping me, Jake,” you spoke softer now, not wanting him to know your house number.

“You say that a lot.”

“You help me a lot.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Jake said in a beat, earnest with his words, that had to staring a second too longer at him, not knowing how Jake was crumbling inside with the look of pure innocence that you gave him. 

That interaction stayed in his mind as he bid you goodbye with a smile, walking ahead first to make sure you know he’s not trying to hit on you. No. It was too early for that, he just had to learn more, he had to build that trust more, morph himself into the very image of a perfect man crafted just for you. 

Your heart was heavy as you reached home, half soaked from when Jake wasn’t there to shield you from the rain. You loved your boyfriend truly, and maybe it was selfish of you to even want more time with him when he was busy with work. Yes, he did give you time on weekends, yes he was never bad to you, and you knew he loved you, but somewhere, you just didn’t want to have that flatline graph with no excitement, wanting a little more from the relationship. 

Outside, Jake stopped right by the corner to observe the lights to make sense of which room was the bedroom, staring for a while to conclude it was the bottom left one—perfect, easy access. Once he was done checking every bit of space around you, he moved, going back to uni for his car, the scent of you lingering in his mind, the way you looked at him when he so effortlessly helped you, and he always would, you just have to wait and see. 

CHAPTER. 𝐕

Shooting a goodbye to Sunghoon, Jake left the last lecture for the day, making his way to the library to make sure his calculations were right, a smirk gracing his face for barely a second as he spotted Giselle sitting with her head in her hands, evidently struggling with the essay on cardiovascular biotechnology—given by none other than Mr. Park, the one Jake had warned them about. 

Jake knew it was impossible to be always right, but he liked to take his chances. He bent down, tapping the table twice which evidently startled the poor girl, but she melted comically fast, watching Jake looking worried about her, “all good?” 

“Y—yeah! Just doing my essay,” Giselle replied in a haste. 

Jake nodded, as if trying to recall where he’s seen her before, “You’re new right? 2026 cohort for biotech?” 

Giselle was visibly happy at the recognition as she nodded with a smile, which eventually led to Jake offering help and her accepting it without thinking twice. Everything was going according to the plan as Jake ended up providing her with every single resource she needed and more, all research papers as she stared in awe, now taking her chance to actually invite him out. 

“I can’t thank you enough, Jake! I would love it if you join me and my friends at the arcade tomorrow—only if you’re free though! You can bring friends too—”

It was that easy, just pretty boy privileges. He thought he’d still have to work hard and maybe be the one to extend the invite, but again, the universe worked well in his favour despite how wrong it was, “I’d love to,” he smiled. 

That’s it, his work was done, perfectly so. Exchanging numbers was the last thing he did before bidding goodbye to her, turning around with his usual smirk, unlocking his phone to see if the package he’d ordered had been delivered or not, just to find it was. His mind was on overdrive this whole time, especially with the thought of seeing you outside of the university setting again.

He wondered if you’d dress up knowing he’s gonna come, would you even know that he’s invited? Will you smile seeing him there? He gripped the steering wheel tighter, knuckles turning white as he drove back to his apartment. He could feel a buzz through his veins at this newfound feeling, the thrill he never got with just fucking around, somehow this felt even better than the orgasm those mindless one night stands provided him with. 

So this is what it is like to fall for someone? It’s inevitable. Wanting felt too easy, almost crude and Jake didn’t want you—he needed you just like he knew you belonged to him. The lack of control irritated him, especially because this isn’t how he operated, he was too used to getting the things he wanted ever since he was a kid, but you? You were taken away from him the very second he decided to have you. 

He groaned out your name again, chuckling like a madman at how he just wanted to fuck you when he first saw you. Fuck you? He’d treasure you, he’d make every inch of you feel so good you’d never think about anyone else—he’d worship you. Seeing you with a guy who wasn’t him had his blood boiling, yet he welcomed the heat. He bit on his bottom lip with such intensity, it had him tasting blood. 

And now, he had to control things from the sidelines, stepping further to actually get an insight on your life beyond how you’re reading a queer cultish erotica right now. He will know more once he gets you a plushie tomorrow. He reached home with ease, paying extra attention to your lane when he did so—the lights were on and your red dot rested safely at your place. Jake was quick to grab the parcel from his mailbox, meticulously unboxing it with a blade, inspecting the small device that laid inside. 

 Just a cute little gift from him to you. 

CHAPTER. 𝐕𝐈

The change of scene was exactly what you needed after the past few days, working on your assignments tirelessly with absolutely no break whatsoever. It didn’t help how your boyfriend had been just as busy, if you exclude that one day he was generous enough to actually watch a movie with you. You missed him despite how close he was to you, it felt like darkness had surrounded your entire existence. 

Which is why you wore a genuine smile watching the neon lights blending together, paired with the constant beep and chime of the gaming machines. You loved arcades, it reminded you much of your childhood when everything was colourful, unlike now. Karina was quick to take the lead, swiping her card. 

“This is actually rigged,” she shook her head, failing to get the Pokémon plushie for the third time now. 

Giselle looked around, as if waiting for someone when you groaned, meeting the same fate as Karina on the other claw machine, eyes meeting hers now, “why do you look so distracted?” 

“Yeah? Don’t tell me you called another of your crushes without informing us first,” Karina mumbled. 

This had Giselle giggling nervously, “you see—”

“Fucking knew it,” you rolled your eyes, remembering how she did the same a month ago. 

“Hey! It’s Jake, can you blame me? He’s bringing a friend too so stop making that face Rina,” she muttered, watching Karina’s eyes sparkle with interest now. 

“Woah, how did it even happen?” You asked, curious about the boy. 

“He helped me with the essay—saw me in the library basically, so I had basic courtesy to invite him,” she looked proud as she said so. 

“Damn, good luck then,” you nodded, attention back on the claw machine as your mind drifted to when he helped you—always wearing that easygoing smile, it’s no surprise that Giselle likes him. He helped everyone, it’s just how he is. 

Karina lost the game again with a tantrum, a voice interrupting her that very second, but you smelled the scent first before you could register the presence. 

Jake stood right behind you, jacket slung loosely over his shoulder, hair falling neatly on his forehead, rather wavy today. You straightened your back without meaning to. His friend stood beside him, he didn’t seem to be of your course, standing tall with a sharp jawline as everyone introduced each other with smiles on their faces. Karina didn’t seem to have any problem with the new addition, obviously emitted by yet another pretty face. 

“Hey, I’m Jay,” he smiled, extending his hand towards you after doing the same with your friends. 

“Okay, enough with the introductions,” Jake mumbled, cutting through as you only nodded at the man, “so you’re having problem with the plushies? Mind if I try? Lemme get one for all of you, yeah?” 

Your friends were overjoyed at the offer. 

Jake was ready, taking a deep breath as he swiped his card on the machine, faintly trying to inhale your scent where you stood earlier, and he was surprised at himself for being able to hold in so well, especially when you had your hair down, wearing a skirt that did nothing to hide your legs. Oh, it was torture, to have you so close yet so far, but rather happy at how you noticed his outfit without saying a word. 

“Let’s see how you do then,” you challenged while Karina was busy making small talk with Jay, Giselle standing on the other side of Jake. 

And his eyes sparkled when you said so, a smirk on his face as he started to play, as if he’d mastered the skills of doing so, grabbing the exact one Karina had aimed for before—a Snorlax. The claw picked it up with ease as your eyes widened, everyone now paid attention with a collective gasp, the machine humming louder as if aware it was being watched. The plush rose slowly, dangling just long enough to test your patience before dropping cleanly into the chute.

“No way,” Karina breathed, hands flying to her mouth. 

“That’s for you,” he smiled, passing it over to Karina. 

You watched it with a smile of your own—Jake swore it was the prettiest sight ever, and he made it his mission to do more, watching your nose scrunch when he missed another plushie, but the way you clapped with ease when he got one out, giving it to Giselle, who looked as if she was going to faint.

“Your turn,” he said lightly, eyeing you with such a gentle look before nodding at the controls, “which one would you like?”

He could sense the faint hesitation in your eyes, clear that no man had gotten you anything before your boyfriend, and he was here to change that, “uhm—that one maybe? The Eevee.”

“My favourite,” he chuckled, sliding the card again as his veiny hands moved, holding the joystick, and you found yourself staring without even realizing.

The claw descended slowly, metal arms gripping the plush awkwardly at first before tightening, and you held your breath as it lifted, swaying just enough to make your heart skip. Jake didn’t react, simply watching it with the same calm focus as before. It dropped cleanly into the chute.

“Oh,” you breathed, surprised, a soft laugh leaving you before you could stop it, “no way.”

Jake bent down to retrieve it, straightening again as he held it out to you, almost amused, “here you go,” he said, quiet enough that only you could hear it.  

Your fingers brushed his as you took it, the contact was innocent, and you smiled at him without thinking, clutching the plush against yourself like it was something you’d won fair and square. He noticed that too, the way you held it close, the way your shoulders loosened just a little, as if the night had finally eased into something lighter, exactly the way he wanted. 

He loved it, the way you said thank you, the way he saw you smiling freely at him, as if you had let your guard down even more, and he didn’t expect more than that, resorting to just giving you faint glances through the night, not getting too close because he’s well aware of how your presence affects him, one brush against you and he’ll be hard, he’d lose his composure, the persona he’d curated so well for you. So, he paid attention to everyone equally, but still guiding them to the racing machines, which he knew you’d love. 

Digital footprint really helped, and you were the perfect example of it. The way you held the steering with precision, winning the game with ease even though all others tried their best to keep up. It was hot. So hot when you let go and do things you genuinely enjoy, the way you win. He’d let you do it all each day, he just needs you to look at him exactly how he looks at you—with the most insane mix of yearning and obsession, but you felt safe around him, he could feel that much. 

The night slipped forward without anyone noticing when it did, folding itself into a blur of movement and sound as one game bled into another, tickets spilling like paper confetti at your feet, Karina cheering too loudly every time she won by accident, Giselle was now clinging to Jay’s arm as if she’d known him longer than a few hours, and he didn’t mind by any means. 

Jake made sure to stay a step behind you then, letting you exist freely in the moment, letting the night do the work for him, because trust was never built by force but by comfort, by consistency, by being exactly what someone needed without asking for anything in return. When you looked back at him after winning yet again, eyes bright and proud, he smiled without thinking, the action sending a shiver up your spine, and you looked away, wondering what had happened. 

Karina sighed with pure happiness, “okay I’ll just head to the washroom before we leave, come,” she started dragging you and Giselle along. 

“How are you getting back home?” Jay asked, eyes on Giselle. 

“We took a cab here because Karina didn’t wish to drive,” she said, eyes bright. 

“We can drive you back home then, where do you live?” 

You didn’t speak, it was clear how you didn’t trust the man enough to go with him, and to your absolute dismay, the girls lived closer to Jay’s place while you lived close to Jake, they asked you a few times if you were okay with that, which made you look at Jake—he was calm as usual, wearing the same look that would make anyone trust him, and from what you’d gathered, he wasn’t a bad man, besides you had your location on for your boyfriend. 

With a nod, you girls went inside the washroom, handing over the plushies to the guys. 

“You getting laid tonight?” Jake asked Jay, who chuckled, not saying much.

“Let’s keep all this in our cars first,” he said, segregating the amount of stuffed toys they had now, walking out into the parking lot, glad that they parked cars with a distance, “see you tomorrow then?”

Jake nodded, gathering all toys and getting inside, making them sit all neatly in the backseat, exactly how your potted plants sat at your window. Grabbing the Eevee, he decided that this would be the one, the one that’ll get him closer to you. The plush felt absurdly soft in his hands, warm in places where you’d held it earlier, the faint indentation of your fingers still there if he pressed hard enough. 

Jake reached into the centre console and retrieved the device, small enough to disappear between his fingertips, engineered to be overlooked. He powered it on briefly, watching the faint blink confirm it was alive, listening for the near-silent hum that told him everything was functioning exactly as intended. He unzipped the seam along the back of the plush with ease, fingers steady, exactly like he practiced the night before. The stuffing parted without much resistance, polyester clouds yielding quietly as he created space. He didn’t disturb more than necessary, leaving no evidence behind. 

He slipped the camera inside, angling it precisely to make sure it gave live recording from the tiny lens aligned with a natural seam so it looked like nothing more than a shadow in the stitching. He pressed the stuffing back into place carefully, redistributing it until the shape felt untouched. He tested the weight a few times before stitching the seam close just as he saw you coming out of the arcade. 

He tucked the plush back among the others just as the doors slid open and the noise spilled out again, Karina was already laughing at something Jay said, Giselle half-distracted, phone in hand, fingers flying as she typed. “Text me when you’re home,” Karina said, squeezing you tight before Jay ushered her toward his car. Giselle repeated the same, waving as she climbed in the front seat, leaving soon after. 

That left you and Jake standing there, the pavement damp beneath your shoes, neon reflections stretching like oil slicks between parked cars. He opened the passenger door for you without a word, waiting until you were seated before closing it gently, and you noticed how the car smelled clean, the scent of your favourite flower invading your senses, pulling you into a more pleasant spot as he pulled into the driveway. 

This is exactly what Jake wanted—you, all comfortable around him, it didn’t take words to feel that, just the expression. His mind drifting to all the unrealistic possibilities that arose in the silence, even more so when he noticed you staring his way every few seconds, so he took time to play your favourite song, noticing the slight twitch of the corner of your lip. 

“You like this band?” You asked. 

Yes. Initiate conversation, be curious, like him more by each second, let him show that he’s tailor made for you. 

“Yeah, it’s my favourite band,” he chuckled, “I see you like it too.”

“It’s my favourite as well! I’ve never met anyone who listens to them,” you said, more enthusiastic than ever, a clear sign that you were more interested in him now, easily discussing your favourite songs, but Jake wanted to brag a little more, switching the topic. 

“Why? Don’t you discuss this with your boyfriend?” Jake asked in a tone that was simply innocent to you. 

That’s when your smile turned back into the polite one, rather than the one you’d been giving him all night, “well, we take turns playing music if we listen together—never particularly discussed it in detail though, he just knows the bands because of me.”

“You’re cool, I’ve never discussed my music taste with anyone before,” he said to instill a sense of trust and comfort, “and I’ve never had anyone winning Asphalt against me.”

“Oh—please. You can’t ever beat me,” you said, full of confidence about the game you grew up playing, more of a muscle memory by now. 

“Is that a challenge?” Jake smirked.

He loved challenges, it was simply an invitation to meet again, to show off what you’re best at, and he would love to see you hold that wheel again, imagining your pretty hands holding his throbbing cock for him instead. 

You huffed a laugh, a melody to his ears, “I’ve been playing since I was a kid, that would be unfair to you.”

There it was again—that ease. The way you spoke when you forgot to filter yourself, something he noticed you did with your friends and now him. Jake felt it settle into him, threading through his ribs. He pictured you younger, the way he’d seen in the pictures, thumbs quick, winning without trying. 

“Alright,” he said after a beat, “I’ll take my loss in advance then.”

That earned him another chuckle from you, and you genuinely felt like you had found a new friend that actually shared a few interests as you, it was a nice feeling, letting you be so deep in your thoughts that you completely missed out on Jake staring at your thighs. 

The music faded into background as you talked about the video games you grew up playing, Jake mentioned he did the same, leaving a few games out that you mentioned to not seem extra suspicious about the topic. One similarity is normal, a few similarities? Coincidence. All similarities—that’s a dead giveaway. 

The silence stretched for a minute, but you couldn’t contain your curiosity about someone you wanted to befriend. Jake was a genuine person, a kind soul with the want to help anyone. You couldn’t deny, he had all good qualities so far—maybe he did have some red flags, but you couldn’t spot any, not now. 

The lack of conversation that followed wasn’t awkward, it was rather comfortable. The kind that invited you to listen to the engine, to the rain ticking faintly against the windscreen, to the way the city lights slid across Jake’s hands as he drove. You watched his profile for a second longer than you meant to, then looked away before it could feel like staring.

“You’re quiet,” you said, mostly teasing now, and that tone had Jake gripping the wheel tighter.

Jake chuckled under his breath, “only when I’m tired.”

“Fair,” you murmured, then you shifted in your seat, “can I ask you something?”

Anything. He could talk to you all night—talk you through it all night. He glanced at you briefly with the same warmth, “yeah. Go on.”

“Do you read?” you asked, trying to figure out if the version of him in your head matched the real one, “like, properly read. Not just uni stuff.”

Jake’s answer came smooth, almost immediate, “I do, mostly psychological stuff, or thrillers. Do you?” He asked, knowing exactly what your sweet voice was going to say. 

“Oh I do! Have you read You by Caroline Kepnes? It’s about psychological obsession and—”

“—Stalking. Quite a fun read I must say,” he cuts you off, quite apt for the given situation. It almost felt like he outed himself with the way he so effortlessly admitted to it. It is fun, the way he knows about you, the way he’s the one making you smile, the way you belong to him, “what have you been reading?” 

“Woah, I don’t think I should tell,” you stretched, not sure how it’ll be perceived by Jake. 

“Hey! I won’t judge, what’s the worst it can be? Smut?” He chuckled.

“Well—yeah sort of similar. It’s called Bunny, sort of like a satire with hints of erotic literature,” you admitted, showing him a part of you not even your boyfriend knew about. 

Jake knew it, he knows all about your media consumption, “would it make you feel better if I say i’ve read it too?” 

“No way!” You laughed in amusement, “how even?”

“Found it on booktok,” he replied, the easiest way to make you believe it, “Couldn’t put it down no matter how uncomfortable it made me.”

“I swear, one of my friends read it and she said the same, but she was more uncomfortable than anything to enjoy it,” you shrugged, now facing him. Your skirt shifted up as you did so, but you didn’t care, ready to delve deeper into this newfound similarity, only to be disappointed when the car stopped. 

You looked out to find it right outside your lane, exactly where Jake had walked with you when you carried groceries. Jake noticed the way your eyes moved around, taking in the fact that you didn’t actually wish to leave. He achieved exactly what he wished for, just didn’t expect it to be this quick. 

“Ah—thank you for driving me home, tonight was fun,” you said and he swore he wouldn’t ever let any other guy drive you around if it meant that you’ll react this way to him, “and for this,” you pointed at the plushie in your hands, getting out of the car, but Jake was quick to stop that. 

It was rather impulsive how his hand reached out for yours, fingers wrapping around your wrist with ease, making him bite his lip faintly at the feel of your soft skin, visibly giving you goosebumps as he did so. 

“Wait,” he muttered, letting go of your hand with the remaining self control he had, grabbing the three more toys from the backseat, the ones you’d won and handing it to you, “don’t forget these.”

“Oh I almost forgot,” you said, thanking him again, “have a good night, Jake.” 

You said his name, and he lost his ability to speak, simply staring at you go, even though you did find it odd when you didn’t get a reply. It was hard to see inside his car with his tinted windows, but the second he saw you turning around and looking back, he smirked. That’s it love, that’s all you had to do for him—crave him, look back as if you wish to stay, as if you didn’t have a boyfriend at home. 

“Fuck,” he chuckled, “you’re so mine.”

He started driving again, grabbing the SD card from the car camera, checking his phone as soon as he got home to see the pretty view of your room. You’d kept the Eevee on your bed, perfect. He didn’t waste a second, getting the car recording, the one that showed your pretty thighs. Throwing his jacket away, he pulled his shirt up in a swift motion, taking his phone into the shower—letting the warm water cascade down his body, eyes fixated on how you shifted around in the seat, mind replaying your conversations, another shift of yours caused the skirt to ride up, his fingers wrapping around his hardened cock—it was almost painful, but he enjoyed every second of it.

With dark eyes, he stared at the clip, not caring about the burning water, the burn inside him was hotter as he stroked his length, sticking the phone on the wall, groaning loud as he hand rested beside the phone to support himself, “mine,” he said, jaw hung open, breathing hard around the warm mist that surrounded him, squeezing himself harder, “i’ll treat you so well, you’re mine, yeah? You know it, darling,” he continued, getting shocks of pleasure within minutes, making him chuckle like a madman. He was obsessed and there was no going back now. 

It was time for the next step. 

CHAPTER. 𝐕𝐈𝐈

The next five days were more than peaceful for you, even your boyfriend had decided to spare some time to take you out on a date, leaving every few minutes to take work calls—he’d been working on a big project. You understood him, of course you did, however, it did make you sigh before you put up a smile again when he returned. 

Jake on the other hand, his inner turmoil was worse than ever. Yes, he got to see you moving in your room, he saw you dancing when no one was home, and how you couldn’t help but touch yourself with the pathetic little toy you owned, something that your boyfriend didn’t even know about. The view wasn’t the best, cutting halfway because of the position of the camera, but it was enough for his cock to leak all day. 

He’d started journaling online, leaving traces on physical books would do him no good, especially when he wrote about the mole you had on your right thigh, the dates and colours of the nail polish you’ve been using, and how your absolute favourite pajamas did nothing to hide your body, which your boyfriend didn’t bother appreciating. 

Jake wondered how he could just come home and sleep right beside you when you looked that good all the time. Pathetic. Your boyfriend was pathetic. 

It was about time Jake showed you exactly how unreliable your childhood sweetheart was, grabbing his hoodie and heading out from a different route to your place. The act wasn’t thrilling with the lack of cameras around, but rather, he was buzzing with the confidence of getting another step closer to you. 

The back door was the easy way in, especially when he’d done his research well, a hairpin being his way inside your temporary home, checking for cameras only to find none. Careless was going to cost this dude his girlfriend. No, you weren’t even his, you belonged to Jake the second he laid his eyes on you. 

This trip was just to figure out the exact things you used, the type of food you consumed, and maybe leave a little gift before leaving. But most of all, going into your room and repositioning the plushie in a way that seems natural. It had been moved around a lot in the past few days, your room looked as if only you lived there, using the blue sheets—a colour you loved so much, the scent of you lingering around. 

“I wanna kill him,” Jake confessed to the air, tone blank, “but it won’t be as fun as seeing you lose faith in him.” He kept a small device on the upper corner of the window—a speaker that he had specifically asked to be designed as small as possible, fitting into the crack of the old wooden frame with ease, the darkness inside concealing it. 

He explored the bathroom, noticing the big mirror before he realized the presence of the laundry basket, your panties resting on the top, “ah,” he breathed out, grabbing it without even thinking, “fuck, you left it for me, right? You knew I was coming for you, hm? To smell you? Taste you?”

He holds it up, feeling the softness of the fabric on the tip of his nose, dragging the soft crotch of the fabric right under his nose, pressing it tight, inhaling again—deeper, groaning like he’d been possessed, “oh she was wet,” he moaned, tongue coming out to graze the soft cotton, lashes fluttering, “fucking sweet—so fucking sweet.” 

He couldn’t stop, leaving a wet patch on it, “you want me to take you home, huh?” He talked, all dazed, “I want to, fuck—too risky,” he shook his head, forcing it back in the basket, the same way it was there, but not before leaving a sweet kiss on it, eyes glossy

He thought about it again—taking them with him. Stuffing them in his pocket, keeping them under his pillow at home, pulling them out at night when he needed to jerk off to the thought of your scent, your taste. He wanted to, so fucking badly. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror—lips parted, cheeks flushed, hair slightly damp from the heat of his own body. He looked wrecked in the best way possible. 

When he saw the red dot on his phone moving, he knew it was time to leave, a string of curses leaving his mouth as he double checked for any evidence of his presence, leaving only when he was fully satisfied. He stopped by the neighbours house, taking out the little pamphlets he’d printed out before, slipping one in everyone’s mailbox before making his exit. 

By the time you reached home, hand in hand with your boyfriend, you noticed your neighbour reading something. She was a sweet lady, always bringing you homemade pie simply because you helped her with her phone once, she looked bothered. 

“Babe, you go ahead, i’ll talk to Mrs. Jones for a second, hm?” You smiled as he nodded, planting a simple kiss on your lips. 

You reached her as your boyfriend disappeared behind the door, “are you alright, ma’am?” 

She flashed you her beautiful smile once she saw you, “yeah, love. Just got this mail, talking about paranormal activity in the area,” she went ahead and showed you a video accessed through the QR code on the paper, “doesn’t it look real?” She was worried as she inquired. 

Even you gulped as you saw it, the ghastly shadows on the window on the third house from yours. There wasn’t any clue about who captured it, simply this piece of paper, “I’m sure it’s some kid trying to mess around!” You said to calm her down, and well, calm yourself. 

Your boyfriend brushed it off when you told him, repeating the exact same thing, but he was confident when he said so. You on the other hand, not so much. It was easy to cuddle him to sleep tonight, only then you could find comfort, he didn’t mind it at all—something that Jake did mind when he sat down, watching it on the big PC screen, a scoff leaving his mouth. 

The glass shattered against the wall before he could even register the throw, shards catching the dim light like broken stars. Jake’s chest rose with a sharp breath as he stared at the dripping line of water trailing down the plaster. He had to wait, just a few more hours before he could start, and the thrill of it all didn’t allow him to sleep all night, he dragged a hand through his hair, fingers snagging and pulling until a few strands fell loose around his face, leaving him looking unkempt, nothing like the composed version of himself everyone else knew.

By the evening, Jake was functioning purely on five cups of coffee and eight cans of red bull. Finally calm when he saw you alone on the bed, rolling through your phone with lights dimmed—the perfect setup for him to start off his plan slowly. Jake clicked on a few controls, letting it unfold. 

And it seemed to do the thing as the tiny speaker started buzzing, almost static at first. The faint hum blended with the low buzz of electricity, the distant rush of cars outside, the soft rustle of fabric when you shifted on the bed. You slowed your scrolling without really realizing why, eyes lingering on the screen as your brow creased slightly. Something felt off. You lifted your head, trying to follow the sound but nothing was out of place, everything exactly where you’d left it. 

The voice boomed louder, making you breathe harder as you stood up, “you’re all alone,” the voice came out ghastly, loud but in a low whisper.

Your breath came uneven now, shallow and quick, your chest rising too fast as you turned slowly, scanning the room with wide eyes. The lamp still glowed, the door was still shut, the window reflected your own face back at you, eyes too bright, lips parted as you tried to steady yourself.

“Stop,” you whispered without thinking, your voice small and thin against the weight of the silence that followed. You took a step back, then another, your heel bumping into the bed frame as your fingers curled into the fabric of your sleeves like you could anchor yourself there, “who’s there?”

You bit your lip, rushing out of the room as the voice kept on repeating over and over, reaching the door handle to go outside, trying to call your boyfriend—who didn’t pick up the phone first two times, only to pick it up, hearing you borderline crying, “what’s wrong, babe? What happened?” He asked urgently. 

“There’s—there’s someone, voice, inside—please come home,” you cried freely. 

And he did, inspecting everything inside the room to find absolutely nothing, yet he knew he should calm you down, saying it would have been something on your mind—maybe a dream? Something your unconscious made up after watching that video. You denied it, and he agreed, only to make you feel better. 

 Jake clicked his tongue at the pathetic excuse of the boyfriend you had, but it was just the start of misunderstandings, and soon, Jake would be the one to bring you comfort, entrusting a sense of peace within you. How could he not? When your relationship looked so fragile and boring, that’s not what you deserved. 

The next day at uni, your friends did agree with you to a certain extent, talking about how they’ve never experienced it before, but still being kind enough to listen to you.

“I swear I heard it,” you sighed, resting your head on the table.

“Lemme try googling it up,” Giselle said, only to find the actual paranormal activities that were widely known by the public, nothing specific to your address or the location. 

“Damn,” Karina muttered, looking at you but genuinely believing your words when she saw your face. 

It was only when it happened again, you lost your mind—your boyfriend simply asked you to go to your friend’s place or to the neighbour as he couldn’t come back home at that moment, and it was genuinely terrifying how the noise stopped the second you tried to record it. It made your heart hurt, as if your boyfriend didn’t care at all—he treated you like a kid running away from the monster under the bed, it truly didn’t help that the said noises never buzzed in his presence. 

“Poor baby,” Jake muttered sitting in his car, waiting right outside the library. He looked better than ever, no traces of sleep deprivation and madness on his face now, not when he had to keep his act up, “nowhere to go now, hm? I’ll wait inside,” he muttered, getting out with that perfect smile of his, knowing that you wouldn’t want to be home alone, which leaves one perfect place for you to go—the library. 

He sat down exactly where you could see him, and you did—the second you entered the library you noticed him, stopping in your tracks to ponder if you should even approach him, and Jake sensed that, faking and stopping the way he was working on something to look up, eyes shining when he found you, making it seem natural like the actor he was. 

He waved at you, that being an invitation enough for you to walk to him, taking the spot next to him without much thinking, mind drifting back to the last conversation you had with him—that being the last time you felt happy and at peace without your close ones throwing Schizophrenic accusations your way, the worry evident on your beautiful face. Jake was the cause of it, and he hated that, but you were a good girl for him, right? You had to endure just a little more. 

“You okay, love?” He encourages you to speak, watching you breathe harder, “you look bothered.”

Jake’s face displayed exactly the reaction you’d been wanting all this while—genuine concern, asking if you’re okay, not just brushing things under a rug. Your heart beat rose, thrumming against your ribs as you tried to nod, “you won’t believe even if I tell you.”

“C’mon, just try trusting me, hm?” He said with such an alluring voice, you found your lip trembling. 

“I—I think my place, it’s haunted,” you started, observing his face, maybe expecting him to laugh or make fun of you. But he didn’t, he looked concerned, urging you to continue, “I keep hearing these noises, distorted but still.”

“That sounds serious, did you tell anyone about it?”

Of course you did, and he knows how they reacted, how they didn’t trust you even when you looked so beautiful crying and shaking in fear. He would never do that, he couldn’t. 

“I did, but they think it’s just my imagination—but I swear I know what I heard,” you tried to explain yourself. 

“I trust you—hey, calm down, okay? You’re safe,” he muttered gently, grabbing your hand that was shaking, and you let him, you allowed that comfort to seep in, nodding with your lips pressed. 

“No one believes me,” you sighed, trying to maintain your composure, the heat of his hands helping you through it, especially when he looked at you like—he looks at everyone like that, your mind reminded you, but you didn’t care anymore. 

“I can see you’re not making things up, you look like you haven’t slept in a while,” he noticed, and he wished he was the one to keep you awake and not that stupid noise, “it’s okay, you can talk about it anytime, hm?”

You nodded mindlessly, fingers curling around his so gently as if you’d given in, Jake pressed his legs together under the table, body hyper aware of you, your scent, your fear, trust, everything, “you’re so nice to me,” you spoke as if you were confessing, and it took everything in Jake to not moan. 

“Hey, it’s nothing. If it happens again, you can text me, or call me. You have my number in the supervision group, right?” 

“I do.”

“Good,” he said, and meant it in more ways than one, “even if you just need to talk. You don’t have to decide whether it’s serious enough first.” His gaze held yours, “if you’re scared, that’s reason enough.”

“Thank you, Jake—for not making me feel stupid,” you gulped, heat creeping up your neck. 

“You’re not, and I wouldn’t do that to you,” he replied earnestly, leaning back first, “and if you don’t wanna spend your time at home, you can always meet up with your friends during the day, or just come find me at the library and we can talk about anything.”

You felt calm, at peace if you could call it, just simply better than whatever you were at home. Jake only made it better, taking over the conversation and asking you about movies, discussing a few of your favourites, making sure that he talks about a few that you haven’t watched yet. He saw it, the way the light of your eyes came back slowly, or how you laughed, trying to conceal it in the silence of the library. The only loud thing here was Jake’s heartbeat, and yours matched him soon. 

He took a moment to stare, remembering the shade of the lipgloss—you’d gotten a new one with the same shade, undoubtedly it was your favourite one. How your legs faced him now, a clear indication that your entire focus was on him. It was hard, so insanely hard to not pull you between the lines of books and kiss you right there, to hear if your moans were as beautiful as your giggles. Even the scent of your lotion on his hands got him dizzy, almost as if he wished to bathe in it. 

It was only when your phone rang you realized how late it was, and for the first time, you could feel the time passing as quick as Jake did. So many topics explored, so many conversations, which undoubtedly had Jake wanting to rush things, but couldn’t mess it up, not when he’d been working on it for so long. You excused yourself to pick up your mother’s call, and Jake sank into the chair, “fuck, oh fuck I love her,” he said it out loud. 

Love? Jake had never been in love before, and he will never be in love ever again. As smoothly as he whispered it, making sure no one hears, as surprising it was, jaw clenching, a newfound glow on this face with the determination to make you his lover forever. 

He was practically shining when you came back, and it was normal for you, because he always had that glow around him, “I should head back home, my boyfriend must be back.”

That’s it, the fucking boyfriend again, “sure, let me drive you back.”

“No—it’s okay, I can walk,” you replied, a small pout on your face. 

“It’s alright, that’s what friends are for, right?” 

Friend. Jake considered you a friend, and the label had you both happy and somehow, sad? But you took it, because you saw him that way too, not knowing how Jake was about to burst a vein at the statement. 

“Okay then.” Giving him a carefree smile, you both gathered your things, walking out together.

Jake was on his best behaviour, opening the door for you, making sure to hide the receipt in the closed compartment of the center console. The same one he took from the bag when he helped you carry the bags home—simply to understand your usual routine, what juices you drank, what brand of pasta you used. Everything. 

He loved it, spending every second of the day with you, that’s all the was for, right? Everyone comes to earth with a purpose, and you were his. The goodbye was painful, but it had to be done, because he expected a text tonight. He wasn’t going to reach out first, you were going to do it. Why? Because you trusted him. 

“Wait a little more, darling. You’ll never be scared again,” he muttered, watching your figure walk away, and just like the last time, you turned around to look his way, this time it felt more natural, your body reacting before your mind, and his work for the night was done. 

When you entered your place, your mood was back to being as dark as the home was—your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. You checked your phone, texting him as you switched on the lights, and his reply came a minute later. 

boyfie: i’ll be home a lil late baby, js rest okay?

Okay, you typed back, then added a heart out of habit, even though the gesture felt a little hollow tonight. You tossed the phone onto the couch and stood there, keys still in your hand, listening to the quiet settle in around you.

You sat on the edge of the bed and exhaled, rubbing your palms over your thighs. Your body felt tired in that dull, end-of-day way, but your mind wouldn’t slow down. It kept circling back to the same thing, the same person, without you meaning it to. Jake.

You frowned slightly at yourself, annoyed, but the thought didn’t go away. His voice from earlier replayed in your head, the way he’d looked at you when you talked like what you were saying mattered. Like you mattered. It was embarrassing how much that had stuck with you. You reached for your phone again, telling yourself you were just checking time, you weren’t. 

Every little sound, even the creak of your bed had you on high alert, and when you heard a little buzz, that’s when you knew you had to text someone. Jake was the first one on your mind, but despite that, you gave your friends a chance, well knowing Karina was at her family dinner and Giselle had gone back to her town for the weekend. They did send replies, but you didn’t feel at peace, as if you needed a solid conversation to break this fear. 

You locked your phone, but grabbed it again, opening the group chat, checking the members, clicking on Jake’s contact—a picture of him filling up your screen. He was smiling, hair messy and wavy. He wasn’t wearing any glasses, eyes shining perfectly in the sunlight, “god,” you mumbled, shaking your head, opening the text message. 

You: hey, it’s Y/N

Jake replied in two minutes, and you were grateful for it. 

Jake: hey, is everything okay? You: im sorry i didn’t mean to disturb  Jake: ofc not, love. what’s happening? 

Your breath hitched the way he used nicknames so easily, and how you didn’t mind it by any means. Meanwhile Jake looked smug, sitting up on his bed, and how could he not? You missed him, you were thinking of him, it hadn’t even been long since you got home and yet—you reached out to him first, exactly how you’d come running to him after breaking up with your boyfriend. 

You: my bf isn’t home yet, the silence is scary Jake: do you wanna talk?  You: if you’re okay w it?

Now, you didn’t expect him to call you, you simply expected a text conversation. Your phone started ringing before you could even finish forming the thought, the screen lighting up with his name. You froze for half a second, staring at it like it might disappear if you didn’t react fast enough. You swallowed and glanced around the room, suddenly aware of how quiet it was again, how the walls seemed to listen, and so, you answered.

“Hey,” you said softly, your voice sounding smaller than you meant it to.

“Hey,” Jake replied, just as quietly, like he’d instinctively matched your tone, “I hope this is okay. You don’t have to stay on if you don’t want to.”

“No—no, it’s fine,” you said quickly, shifting on the bed and pulling your legs closer to you, “I just—didn’t expect it.”

He huffed out a faint laugh on the other end, “yeah, sorry. I figured it might be easier than typing if you’re already on edge.”

Oh Jake loved it, the sound of your voice giving in, opening up to him, telling him exactly what’s going on as if he wasn’t watching you smile at the little things he said. He stopped breathing the second you rolled on your stomach, picking up the Eevee plushie, as if staring right at him, caressing the toy mindlessly as the conversation flowed. 

“Do you ever make up conversations in your head before it happens?” You ask, not knowing why you did, maybe because you thought about it while texting Jake. 

He chuckled, the sweetness of your voice making him shove his free hand down his sweatpants, “isn’t that normal though?”

“Right? I just feel like I overthink so much,” you sighed, completely missing out on the tiny groan that came from his side, cock hard and leaking, “even when I don’t like how a book is written, I usually think about what it could have been.”

“You should write,” Jake managed to speak midway through his session, “I think you’ll do well.”

“I do actually,” you mumbled, revealing a part of yourself that no one apart from your boyfriend knows, “it’s under works, not good enough to be published as a book, but maybe someday I can publish my poetry.”

Now, this is something Jake did not know, he couldn’t find it linked anywhere, not a single mention of it, but oh he loved it. Would you write poems for him too once you realize that he’s the one you love? Would you give in and turn him into an immortal piece of art? Because he would, he would do it all for you. 

“Fuck—that’s crazy,” he said, covering up yet another groan, hips thrusting up to meet his fisted hand, and you were just there, not knowing what he was up to, “you’re so talented, I can’t believe you don’t talk about it.”

You smiled, it felt nice being appreciated, as for him? He could praise you forever. He wasn’t this weak before, his body was completely and utterly yours now, the way he carried the conversation before you took over, chatting freely, ignoring the warmth it brought you, it was too much for him, enough that he had to push the phone away to let out a silent groan, making a mess over his pants.

God, he loved you—he loves you. He’s in love with you, every bit of you, and he wants to know more, your voice is the sweetest he’s ever heard, not even songs could bring him this pleasure, and so he recorded the whole call, every second of your laugh. All before you felt so comfortable, you fell asleep on the call.

He lay there, phone still pressed to his ear, eyes half-lidded, chest rising and falling under the thin fabric of his shirt, still wrecked, still shaking slightly from the mess he’d made minutes earlier, not having it in him to end the call, not when he could hear the faint sound of your breath, not when he could watch you sleep so peacefully, and fuck you looked pretty even sleeping. Jake closed his eyes, dragging a shaky hand over his face, smearing his own warmth across his skin, biting down a groan that still tried to fight its way out of him.

“Can’t believe you’re real,” he whispered, to no one, to you, to the dark, “can’t believe I get to hear you like this.”

He put the phone beside him, only ending the call when he noticed the presence of another man entering the room, it should have been Jake. Throwing his phone away, he breathed hard, then he laughed. It started low in his chest, strained and breathless at first, until it clawed its way up, breaking past his throat in a sound so raw it startled even him. The kind of laugh that came from deep inside, borderline hysterical, He curled forward slightly, shoulders trembling as he pressed the back of his wrist to his mouth, but it wouldn’t stop. 

“You trust me,” he gasped out between broken chuckles, eyes wide, almost glassy, “you trust me, baby. You fell asleep on me, fuck.”

His voice cracked on the last word. A quiet, shuddering breath followed, and he let his head drop back to the pillow, lids fluttering shut. His body still felt wrecked, but all he could feel was the rush. You trusted him—without even knowing half of what he was. Without knowing what he did with your voice echoing in his ear. Without knowing how much of you he kept with him. 

“No one else gets that,” he whispered, voice rasped raw, “he doesn’t get that. He doesn’t know what you sound like when your voice gets tired at the edges. He doesn’t know how you hum without meaning to. He doesn’t know shit.”

He grabbed the lipgloss from the bedside table—your lipgloss, the one you used each day without a fail. Jake had picked it up now, rolling it between his fingers, studying the faint wear on the tube. He twisted it open, leaning back against the pillows, drawing one knee up slightly as he dragged the wand across his thigh in a smooth stroke. Jake stared at it, lips parted, watching the way the sheen clung to his skin, sticky and perfect. 

He traced it with his fingertips, smudging it over the place as if you’d kissed him there yourself, bringing his hand up to apply the same on his plump lips, messy and wet, “that’s how I wanna be, ruined for you,” he whispered, gathering more, around to smudge it over the tip of his cock, smirking, “looks perfect on me, baby. Perfect,” he kept on mumbling, drifting into sleep with you in his mind. 

Only you. 

CHAPTER. 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈

“Where the fuck have you been?” Sunghoon’s voice boomed just as Jake let him in, the door swinging back a little too fast from his palm. Jake didn’t flinch, not bothering to answer immediately, just turned and walked toward the balcony like he hadn’t just spent the entire night dreaming about you. Jay followed right after, clicking the door shut. 

Jake didn’t acknowledge either of them. He slid the glass door open and stepped out barefoot, the concrete still warm from the day’s sun. A small pot sat in the far corner, centered between two older plants that hadn’t seen water in weeks. He crouched slowly, fingers brushing the edge of the ceramic like it meant everything to him.

Sansevieria—the plant which gives oxygen both day and night. Jake had read that line three times in the nursery aisle that he’d bothered to visit earlier in the morning. 

“Can you reply at least? You just go to lectures and leave before we can even catch up,” Jay went on. 

“I’ve been busy,” Jake replied, inspecting the upright leaves, checking the soil next, completely ignoring the other two plants. 

“Busy? Doing what?” Sunghoon said, pissed as Jay googled the plant. 

“Assignments and shit man, you know the professors throw around work, especially to me,” he lied smoothly. Jake never wasted too much time on it, he was smart enough to complete everything beforehand, rather than leaving it to the last minute. 

“Of course you’d get something that survives on nothing,” Jay muttered from behind him, leaning against the doorframe, “you don’t even water the others.”

“Oh shut it, this one’s different,” he murmured, thumb brushing over a leaf with such care it almost looked like he was touching skin, “It doesn’t just survive, it helps you breathe.”

Jay glanced at Sunghoon, but didn’t say anything. Neither of them could read him when he got like this, clearly unimpressed with the expressions on their faces. Jake stood slowly, wiping his hand on his thigh, ignoring the dirt streak it left behind. His gaze lingered on the pot for a moment longer—on the smudged black marker under it, your name hidden where no one could see. He imagined you standing on this balcony, bare feet against the concrete, your skin soft in the morning sun. Maybe you’d crouch the same way, tilt the pot in your hand, smile at how healthy the leaves looked. 

You hadn’t texted him in the morning, which was okay since plants needed time to grow, and so did trust. 

Jay sighed, “you’re down bad.”

“What?” Jake whipped his head, staring at Jay now. He wouldn’t deny it, but how does he even know? What does he know about his love, about you?

“I saw it—at the arcade. And you drove her back home. Isn’t she the one you like?” Jay asked normally, and Jake’s heart fluttered. 

“We’re friends,” he said despite hating the word, “I wouldn’t do shit when she’s got a boyfriend, she trusts me.” 

“Okay, fair,” Sunghoon muttered, as Jake closed the balcony door behind him, “at least play Valo with us tonight, you’ve been giving excuses all week.”

“Then here’s another one—” 

The boys groaned, “what now?”

“I have to run to the library, so if I get back on time i’ll log in, deal? Otherwise I’ll just join tomorrow, I’m free.”

They stared at him for a few seconds, making him groan in disgust, “just say yes, what the fuck?”

“You better not cancel,” Sunghoon warns before letting Jake breathe again. 

That wasn’t important, you came first, which is why he was quick to dress up a bit better, grabbing the essentials, making sure Jay and Hoon had left before he made his way out, giving the plant one last look, “oh she’s gonna come again,” he mumbled with a smirk. 

He sat down there, on the same spot as yesterday, grabbing his phone to check your red dot, moving straight to him. He looked lovesick, heart beating fast as he proceeded how easy it was to be in love, how you reciprocated the said feeling without even knowing it. 

You couldn’t reply to Jake, not after you fell asleep on the call—gosh, that was embarrassing. But that didn’t stop you from seeking comfort. The second you heard the faint buzzing again, you got ready to head to the library in hopes of finding silence, and if possible, Jake. And maybe that was the real reason, which you tried your best to deny. By the time you reached the library, your heart was already racing.

You stepped through the doors, greeted by the familiar scent of books. And there he was, exactly where you’d seen him yesterday, a faint smile on his face as he felt you enter, not looking up just yet, not till you reach him yourself, and you did, standing right beside him, your shadow stretching across the table, making Jake lift his head. 

He took your name with a smile, making you mirror his expression, sitting down next to him, legs brushing faintly. 

“I’m sorry, I fell asleep last night,” you apologized, looking elsewhere. 

Jake found it adorable, as if he didn’t wish for it to happen each night, if only you’d sleep with him, next to him. Jake shook his head gently, his smile softening in a way you couldn’t quite place—tender perhaps? 

“Don’t be, I’m glad you felt comfy enough to do so.”

When you paused, face heating up, Jake only smiled and continued to speak again, “so, what’s the plan for today? Any assignments to work on?”

You shook your head, “I did them already, just wanted to come out to feel better I guess?”

“Yeah?” Jake asked, eyes bright.  

“Yeah,” you gave him a little nod. 

“So—do you wanna get out of here?” He asked, and for the first time, he didn’t feel as confident about himself, knowing well he was crossing a line wording it that way. But he knew he had to, it was a requirement before he went ahead with the final step. 

You glanced at him, unsure what to say at first. The library had always felt like neutral ground, it was easy to share space without crossing into anything that felt like more. But this—stepping outside that invisible line, choosing to be somewhere with him just to be with him—it felt different.

You let out a shaky breath, “where would we even go?”

And that question was music to Jake’s ears. You were willing to go out with him? Oh that’s beautiful, you see how much he loves you? How he’s staring at you like he’ll actually go to space and collect pretty stars just so you could have them? It’s perfect, just two lovers going out on their first date. 

He smirked, simply grabbing your bag which you put down, carrying it with him as he started walking, the gesture too bold for you as you stared. You shook your head and caught up to him, walking side by side, leaving the library now.

“You’re not gonna tell me where we’re going?” you asked, watching the way the breeze ruffled his hair. He was wearing a grey hoodie today, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, veins faint beneath the skin of his forearms as he held your bag without complaint.

Jake glanced at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “not yet,” he said, “you’ll like it though. Promise.”

“Let’s see,” you challenged, completely ignoring the notification you got—a text from your boyfriend, which was surprising, but the moment with Jake felt more important to you now. 

It wasn’t a long walk, but you were concerned when the area blended into an unfamiliar one. The sun had softened to its late-afternoon hue, golden and gentle, casting long shadows as you followed him through a narrower street just off the main road. It was a path you hadn’t taken before, tucked between cafés and residential flats, with cracked sidewalks and ivy trailing over low walls. Jake turned without warning into a tiny alley, and you paused at the entrance.

“Are you kidnapping me?” you asked dryly.

He laughed over his shoulder, only if he could, “you’d be lucky.”

Rolling your eyes, you followed, and then he stopped, hand resting on the frame of an old wooden door tucked into the corner of a quiet building. There was a faded sign above the glass: Moonstar Books. A bell chimed softly as he pushed the door open.

It was dim and smelled like old paper and lavender, the scent that instantly made you breathe deeper. The store was narrow but deep, with tall shelves and crooked aisles, handwritten category signs, and vintage postcards pinned to a corkboard near the register. The woman behind the counter gave Jake a lazy wave, barely looking up from her book, which made you chuckle. 

“You like books, so this one’s on me,” Jake said, gesturing to you to check out the aisles, and you didn’t even bother to argue, too in awe to do so, not even noticing Jake clicking your picture—perhaps the prettiest one. People say the camera captures you best when it’s held by someone who sees you through the eyes of love, Jake was the prime example for the same. 

“I love it here,” you squealed, as Jake paid for the three books you picked out with much thinking, highly aware of how Jake followed you, grabbing the books on the taller shelves, practically caging you in his arms—in his scent, the one you’d grown to find comfort in. 

You let out a shaky breath, as he stared down, passing the book to you. You turned your head at the same time he looked down. Close—too fucking close—his breath hit your cheek as your fingertips met in that small, unspoken exchange, the warmth of him passing on to you. And for the longest second, you didn’t move, didn’t stop staring at the pretty man in front of you, the back of your mind reminding you of the boyfriend you have—and the thought was thrown away the second he smiled, sweet and pure as honey. 

The faint music played in the background, pretty apt for the situation. I wanna be yours by Arctic Monkeys. You’d seen such scenes with the amount of rom-coms you consumed, the books you read, and the authors didn’t lie when they described the feeling of it all happening in real time. Your face was warm, lips parted, like your body forgot how to hide feelings. You looked up, and Jake was already watching you, like he was memorizing this—every inch of you under this soft light, in this narrow aisle, with your back pressed against shelves of paperbacks and your breath catching in your throat.

“Come,” he mumbled, breaking the silence you two held as he paid for the books, then guiding you upstairs. You didn’t even know there was more to the bookstore, but Jake never failed to surprise you. 

Jake didn’t say much as he led you up the narrow staircase tucked between two tall bookshelves. The steps creaked softly under your feet, wood worn smooth by time, and the scent of old paper followed you all the way up. You could still hear the soft music filtering through the floors as you stepped out onto the terrace. The space was small but beautiful, almost dreamlike. String lights hung overhead in uneven lines, swaying gently in the breeze, casting everything in a honey-washed hue that made the world look slowed down, dulled at the edges like a hazy lil photograph. 

Potted plants framed the corners, and right in the center sat a small wooden table, surrounded by mismatched chairs that didn’t look like they belonged together—yet somehow, they did. A stack of forgotten poetry books rested at the edge, pages curling in the wind. Jake walked ahead and placed your bag on one of the chairs, glancing back to make sure you were still with him.

“Pretty, right?” He asked, “I come here when I feel like breathing, genuinely just breathing,” he lied smoothly, he’d been here twice to make sure the place was good, funding it enough to make this happen, restoring the beauty just for you, just for the smile that you gave him so freely now. 

The chair creaked softly beneath you as you sat, and Jake mirrored your movement, choosing the seat across from you but turning it slightly, angling it closer, like he couldn’t bear the distance.

“It’s really peaceful,” you said, your voice quieter now, “feels like something out of a movie.”

You felt like something out of a movie, polished to perfection without any filters or colour grading—you didn’t need anything. To Jake, you were his favourite movie, the one he’d rewatch each day without a question, and still he’d find something new, like the little mole on your ear. It was so small, barely visible, but he stared at you with such a need to fit everything into his memory, leaving such an important detail was simply out of question. 

He got up, walking to the vending machine tucked beside the terrace door, the glow of it buzzing softly in the quiet. He didn’t ask you what you wanted. He already knew, but grabbed a few more things to seem less suspicious about it. 

“I’ll pay you back—”

“You don’t have to,” Jake replied in a beat, opening the can of red bull and taking in a sip. 

“You know—I don’t get why you don’t have a girlfriend,” you pry, sipping on your juice, wondering if he had any—wait, did he? You never asked, just assumed, but why would he be here with you if he had someone. 

The same way you’re out with him despite having a boyfriend, your inner voice reminded you, and it was unsettling, but you didn’t wish to focus on him, not when he wasn’t ever present when you needed him. 

“I don’t know, just never met someone I can actually be with before,” he confessed, knowing well that you were the only one he wanted to be with, wanted to die with. 

“That’s odd,” you started, “y’know, on our first day—orientation day. Karina told us that you have this reputation of a fuckboy,” you confessed. 

Jake lost composure at that, eyes widening. Did you know? Did you actually think of him that way? No, no, no. Karina should’ve kept her mouth shut, this was bad, you couldn’t know. 

“Woah, that’s an insane rumour,” Jake looked confused, a display of how great of an actor he was. 

“So you don’t sleep around?” You asked. 

Oh you were so curious, talking about sex with Jake now? He didn’t mind at all, “Okay I admit I’m not a virgin, but I don’t sleep around either,” he replied, eyes on you, specs sitting perfectly on his nose. 

You nodded, disappointed for absolutely no reason, and he could see it, he could make it out so clearly, getting the exact reaction he was aiming for. Then he decided to change the topic, urging you to stare at the sky, which looked as pretty as a colour palette. 

“Wait, I just realized. You know where I live—” you started and Jake paused, panicking within, “—but I don’t know where you live.”

“Oh,” he sighed softly, calming down again, grabbing a quote book as he joined you by the railing, watching the sunset, “just walk five minutes further on the street, you’ll see this big building named Orion, I’m on the penthouse floor,” Jake said, giving out his whole address, knowing you’ll use it soon. 

“Woah, you just gave me the address, not scared? What if I stalk you?” You chuckled, and Jake found it way more interesting than you did. 

“I’d like to see you try,” he challenged, leaning in, handing you the book in his hands, “wanna read a quote each? Take turns?” He asked, making your heart flutter again. 

Under the amber veil of the setting sun, you took the book from his hands. It was soft with age, the cover cracked at the spine and the edges curled in, like it had been loved quietly for years. Your fingers brushed his as you held it. 

“Alright,” you said, and your voice sounded strange to your own ears, so gentle and sweet. 

Flipping the pages, you settled on the one you genuinely loved, as if it resonated with you the most, “whatever our souls are made of,” you read, “his and mine are the same.”

The page was no longer a page, it was the confession you’d never dare speak aloud, the line between fiction and the undeniable reality, and you didn’t realize until after you’d said it that you weren’t just reading it—you meant it. When you glanced up, Jake was already watching you, like he’d been holding his breath the whole time. But still, he said nothing—until he took the book from you, eyes full of the feeling named yearning. 

His thumb paused at a page, “I loved her against reason,” he said, “against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness.”

Your breath hitched as the wind tugged gently at your clothes, the lights above swayed, but neither of you moved, and that’s when you knew—everything had changed. 

The evening air had turned cooler, brushing against your skin like a gentle reminder that the day was over as you went inside your home—but your mind didn’t feel finished. The sky above you was streaked in pink and grey, a beautiful kind of mess, not unlike the thoughts circling in your head—Jake. His words, those quotes. That look in his eyes like he’d waited lifetimes just to sit across from you like that. 

He had done no wrong, always been so respectful and kind, never once touching you or invading your space in a way that would make you uncomfortable. But it didn’t take a genius to realize how emotionally attached you were to him already, feeling bad for your boyfriend. You shut the door behind you, the familiar click echoing louder than it should have, and leaned your weight into it for a second. Your chest felt tight, not from guilt exactly, but from the confusion that sat heavy beneath it. 

“Where have you been?” your boyfriend’s voice cut through the space, “I’ve been so worried, you didn’t even reply to the texts!”

“I didn’t see them, I was at the library,” you replied too quickly, and you hated how easy the lie came. But even if you had seen them—what would you have said? That you were sitting on a sun-washed terrace with Jake, talking about quotes and oxygen and stars? 

“You could’ve at least called. It’s not like I’ve been sleeping well with everything going on.”

That stung, and you didn’t even know why. Maybe because you had been spiraling for days, and not once had he said that to your face. Maybe because the version of him who said that now sounded more inconvenienced than concerned.

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” you offered, but your voice came out flat. You weren’t sure which part of you was tired anymore—the physical, the mental, or the emotional. All of it?

“Is something wrong, babe?” He asked, walking up to you now, completely ignoring how you’ve been telling him what was wrong—the noises, his absence, the distrust, everything. 

“Just, you haven’t been here,” you said, hoping to find the same comfort, but he took it as a complaint. 

“You know I’m working hard for us,” he sighed, almost annoyed, and you swore this wasn’t the man you fell in love with a few years back. Maybe he had a point, but what’s the actual point of a relationship where there’s no comfort? No time?  

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” you replied, letting him win as he pulled you in a hug. 

A hug without warmth. 

CHAPTER. 𝐈𝐗

Jake leaned against the back wall of the corner pharmacy, hood up, sunglasses low on his nose as he watched your boyfriend step outside across the street. Same jacket, same casual gait, scrolling through his phone like every other day. Jake knew his break schedule down to the minute now. Two days had passed, lectures had started, and yet, Jake was suffering withdrawals of you, your love, your smile. He had to do something, a final gesture to make you run to him. 

His fingers toyed with the edge of his sleeve, heart pacing steady. He didn’t need to follow far, just until the path curved behind the building, just until no one else was watching. Jake’s shoes moved quietly behind him, and right then, he rushed, jabbing his hand on the neck, on the Vagus nerve of your boyfriend, causing him to drop down on the street instantly, fainting but he didn’t even register that it came from someone else. 

Jake chuckled, dragging him into the alleyway, pulling out the needle from his bag, not bothering to sterilize the skin before he pierced through it, gathering your boyfriend’s blood in a vacutainer, just enough for his plan to work. It was that easy, Jake loved how meticulously he carried out everything, rushing away after cleaning the evidence of blood on the boyfriend’s arm, almost like a mosquito bit him. 

He rushed out, running a bit farther, gathering the attention of an old lady, who barely registered Jake’s face and built, “hello!” He said, changing his voice entirely, “a man just fainted there,” he pointed it out, “I can’t help i’m running late, can you please check up on him?” 

With that, he rushed away. See? He was a good man, never harming anyone, not until he had to, even if he wanted to drain every drop of blood in him, he didn’t. He ran, getting into his car and driving away without any trace, laughing louder than ever, enough for his veins to be visible on his neck. 

He didn’t have much time, not when you were going to come back home. He parked his car farther away, mumbling your name on repeat like a mantra as successfully reached the back door of your house—which won’t be yours after tonight. Jake felt dizzy, as if his blood was taken away, but it was simply the thrill of making art, the kind of art you’d enjoy, or would you? 

“Y/N,” he groaned, “come to me soon, baby. I can’t wait anymore, just come to me, okay?” He laughed quietly after that, dragging a hand through his hair, pacing in a tight circle, every thought looping back to you no matter how hard he tried to think of anything else. Your smile on the terrace. The way your voice softened when you felt safe. 

“You don’t even know how close you are,” he murmured, eyes unfocused now, staring at nothing, “how everything’s already done. You don’t have to be scared anymore. I fixed it. I fixed everything.”

His hands shook, not with doubt, but with emotion—too much feeling crammed into one moment. Love, possession, devotion, all blurring together until there was no separating them anymore. In his mind, they had always been the same thing anyway. Jake leaned his forehead against the cool surface nearby, eyes squeezed shut, smiling through clenched teeth, forcing himself out of the house, and into hiding closeby. 

You reached home after a few minutes, body tired with the amount of lectures you had to attend today, and the absence of Jake—that fucked you over the most. You did run into him at the Uni hallway earlier, he was busy with his duties but stopped by to greet you, and you appreciated it, but you didn’t appreciate Giselle trying to flirt with him—oh you were messed up. 

But nothing could have prepared you for what came next. Your loud scream tore through the air, your heart slammed violently against your ribs, breath catching so sharply it hurt. 

You’re alone baby, no one can save you.

It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be, right? Maybe everyone’s right and you’re dreaming, or maybe you’re schizophrenic, because there’s absolutely no way your bathroom mirror is covered with blood. The silence was unbearable, unsettling, but you couldn’t move, body paused as your eyes drifted, reading each word again, and again. Tears streamed down your face, begging yourself to run out, but your legs were too weak to do so. Every instinct in your body screamed to run, but your muscles had locked up, useless against the overwhelming dread that had settled into your bones.

You tried taking deep breaths, and it helped a little as you forced yourself to crawl out, grabbing your phone with shaking hands, rushing out of the house as best as you can, calling the first person on your speed dial—your boyfriend, who was finally kind enough to pick up your call. 

“I’m busy—” he started, pausing once he heard your voice, the way you cried out so freely, so loud, he stood up from his desk, “what’s wrong?”

It was no surprise that your boyfriend was okay, being fully convinced he fainted on the street because of someone running into him, slamming him on the wall. He was so embarrassed he did not bother telling anyone about it, especially when an old lady was the one who helped him. He was a fool, this is why Jake wanted him gone from your life.

“Th—there’s b—blood,” you wailed, “please—come back.”

“What? Okay just stay with Mrs. Jones, I’ll be back soon, yeah?” He reassured you as you stood up weakly, walking to the house next door, scaring the poor woman who was too afraid to actually go and check if you’d been lying or not, simply taking you in and offering water. She seemed as shaken as you did. 

Jake appeared from the back door again, “I’m sorry, baby, you know I did this for us, right?” He smiled, looking beautiful even in madness, cleaning up the bathroom mirror with white vinegar solution, leaving no marks behind, letting it dry with fondness on his face as he sprayed the bathroom fragrance you kept right there. And just like that, there wasn’t a single trace of blood left, just pure fondness on Jake’s face as he mumbled to himself, getting out of the place he won’t ever be visiting again. 

You were glad your boyfriend was listening to you, so glad he was coming back home, maybe he’d finally believe you, if not then Jake would. The poor lady could only do so much, getting you a warm cup of tea. You didn’t bother rushing to the door when the doorbell rang, you didn’t hug your boyfriend, who looked as if he ran all the way back to home, and you couldn’t, not till you prove yourself right. 

He thanked Mrs. Jones, helping your shaking self out of the home, to finally go and investigate what you’d been crying about. It felt real for once, the way you looked horrified, not even able to string together a full sentence. You couldn’t lie like this, not with the way your hands trembled in his grip, the way your wide, pleading eyes begged—please, believe me.

Your boyfriend stayed quiet as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, head tilted slightly like he was already in disbelief about this whole situation, about having to do this at all. You followed behind slowly, keeping close to the wall, as if the house itself might shift and trap you in again. He made a direct path to the bathroom, and your nails dug into your palms as he pushed the door open, flicking the lights on. 

The tiles gleamed, the mirror spotless. No sign of anything being wrong. No dirt, no mess, no handprint on the wall like you’d sworn was there. It was pristine, oh it was sterile, like it hadn’t even been used. He turned back toward you slowly, a deep exhale leaving his chest as he stepped out, arms folded.

“Seriously?” he said, voice sharp, “this is what you were freaking out over?”

You stepped inside, hands flat on the mirror. It couldn’t be, you were not lying about this, you know exactly what you’d seen, and it made you angry, the way you were being embarrassed again and again, and even your so-called boyfriend didn’t believe you. 

“No,” you said, voice rising, breaking, “no, this is bullshit. I’m not making this up—I know exactly what I saw.”

He scoffed behind you, “you think you know. That’s the problem, you’re always so sure, and then there’s nothing. Ever.”

You spun around, anger finally snapping through, “don’t you dare talk to me like that. Don’t you fucking dare.”

He stepped closer, voice raised now too, irritation spilling over, “then explain it to me! What the fuck is happening, huh? Are you doing this for attention?”

“For attention?” you repeated, “are you actually fucking serious right now?”

He didn’t back down. If anything, he looked more frustrated, hands thrown out in anger, “then what am I supposed to think? You’re always shaking, crying, dragging our neighbour into it, and there’s nothing here. Nothing. No fucking proof. No sign. What else am I meant to assume?”

“That I’m scared,” you shouted, stepping toward him, “that I was terrified in my own house—that I needed you.”

“I am here now,” he retorted.

“Too late,” you snapped, “you’re always here after everything’s already fallen apart.”

He laughed, disbelieving, the sound slicing straight through you, “you’re acting like I abandoned you. I was literally at work, did you even know I fucking fainted? That I was attacked? I’ve been so overworked. I can’t just drop everything every time you spiral.”

“I wasn’t spiraling,” you yelled, tears finally spilling over, completely ignoring the part where he told you that he was attacked, because if he didn’t trust you, why would you trust him?

“Well, I can’t help you if you keep making shit up!” He shouted back.

Your chest tightened, breath coming faster now, hands shaking at your sides, “I did not make it up, and the fact that you think I would—that I’d lie about something like this—tells me everything I need to know.”

“So now I’m the bad guy?”

“Yes,” you said immediately, voice loud despite the tears, “you are, because instead of standing next to me, you’re standing here interrogating me like I’m the problem here.”

He stared at you, jaw tight, “you’re unbelievable.”

“No,” you said, stepping back, putting distance between you, “what’s unbelievable is how small you make me feel when I’m already scared. How you’d rather call me insane or schizophrenic than admit you don’t know how to show up for me.”

You swallowed, wiping at your cheeks, voice shaking but resolute. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be with someone who treats me like I’m crazy.”

His eyes widened, scoff leaving his mouth, “you’re breaking up with me? Over this?”

“I’m breaking up with you because you don’t believe me,” you said firmly, “because you don’t listen. Because when I needed you the most, you chose annoyance over empathy, I cannot believe I even fell in love with someone like you.”

With that, you started walking away, chest hurting more with each step you took, ears not picking up the way he screamed behind you. There was no other thought in your mind as you walked ahead, you had no one to go to, no one but Jake. 

Meanwhile, he was showering with a smirk, watching the whole argument unfold on the screen. Soon, he sat down on the couch with just his sweatpants on, hair damp and curling slightly at the ends. The glow from his monitor cast soft light over the living room, muted tones flickering across his face as he leaned back, wet hair clinging to his temples. He looked calm as he rewatched the footage, fingers tapping slowly against his thigh.

“She’s coming,” Jake smiled to himself, “all mine now.”

Downstairs, the front desk guard stood up a little straighter as he saw someone approaching the entrance—someone Jake had told him about in advance. You looked shaken, your eyes rimmed red, your breathing uneven, and your voice just barely held together as you said his name.

“Uh—I’m here to see Jake Sim,” you whispered, so glad he had given you his address.

The guard nodded immediately, not even asking for confirmation. He slid a visitor card across the desk toward you, the one Jake had pre-arranged a day ago, “please take the elevator, penthouse floor.”

Your fingers closed around the pass, your hands cold. The ride up in the elevator was quiet, too quiet. You could hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, your fingers trembling around the card, your throat dry. It was crazy. All of it. But Jake—Jake always made you feel safe, he never judged, he never looked at you like you were broken. Jake sat perfectly still as he heard the ding of the elevator chime through the penthouse hallway. He didn’t even reach for a shirt, simply just waited, elbows resting on his knees, gaze focused ahead, chest rising slowly.

You rang the doorbell, and Jake let you wait for just a few seconds, enough for the anticipation to bloom before opening the door. You stood in the doorway like you’d been hollowed out, shoulders curled inward, tears streaking your cheeks without restraint. Your lips trembled as if you were trying to hold yourself together and failing. You looked small in a way that twisted something deep inside him—so fucking beautiful.

Jake’s heart kicked hard against his ribs. God—there it was. The sight of you like this, undone and honest, coming to him when the world had failed you. He wanted to frame the moment, burn it into his memory forever. This was trust in its rawest form.

“Hey—” he said softly, carefully shaping his face into surprise, concern knitting his brows as he stepped closer, whispering your name, “what happened? Gosh—are you okay?”

Your bottom lip trembled as you stepped forward, and he opened his arms just in time to catch you. You pressed your face into his bare chest like it was instinct, like your body knew where to go before your mind could catch up, you didn’t care about the lack of clothes, you just needed him, exactly how he needed you. 

Jake exhaled shakily, one arm wrapping fully around your back, the other lifting to cradle the back of your head. You were clinging to him—clinging like he was the only thing keeping you upright, and maybe he was. He held you like that, warm skin against your cheek, the soft rhythm of his heartbeat thudding steadily beneath you.

His hand moved in slow circles against your spine, you couldn’t even register how he was sniffing your scent, smirking when you couldn’t see. You came to him, you finally understood who you belong to. You know that Jake is gonna keep you safe, he’s gonna believe in you, love you endlessly while doing so. 

“Breathe,” he whispered, dropping his head to speak into your hair, “I’ve got you. You’re here now, hm? It’s okay, take your time.”

You shuddered in his arms, finally letting go. Your fingers curled into the waistband of his sweatpants, the fabric soft beneath your fists, and he swore it would be embarrassing if you could feel his heartbeat right now. Every part of you was shaking, but Jake was steady, he felt your tears streak down his chest, and still he didn’t move. When your weight sagged slightly, when your knees threatened to give out, he adjusted instinctively, one arm sliding beneath your legs and the other securing your back as he lifted you with a careful ease. 

You barely reacted, curling closer, forehead resting against his shoulder as he carried you toward the sofa. The way you trusted him with your full weight, the way you didn’t question it or pull back, made something deep in his chest tighten with a feeling he didn’t bother trying to name. He lowered himself onto the couch slowly, settling you against him so you were half in his lap, half against the cushions, his arm still wrapped around you like he was afraid you might slip away if he let go, as if he would ever let you go now. 

This was everything he had imagined and more, you coming to him when you had nowhere else to go, choosing him without being asked, trusting him without needing proof. It felt inevitable in a way that made him dizzy. 

“Jake,” you mumbled, heart paining at the thought of him not trusting you, but you had to tell him, “I swear—I’m not lying.”

“Lying about what, my love?” He gave you a small smile as you leaned back to look at him. 

“There was blood—I swear, it was on the mirror, saying i’m alone and no one will save me, I’m not lying!” You said, hiccuping. 

“Shh, calm down, I trust you, yeah? You’re safe here,” he murmured, passing you his usual smile that calmed you down, “wanna talk about it? Do you think it’s paranormal? Or someone did it?” 

You realized how close you were to him, sitting on his lap, hands clutching his shoulders, his embrace giving you the warmth you’d been missing all this while—Jake was perfect. It was almost as if he was godsend to you, right when your life got monotonous, right when your own boyfriend gave up on you, when he was embarrassed. Jake listened to you, he cared enough to ask, to make sure you were okay, and even the gentleness of his voice had your heart beating fast for another reason. 

“I—I don’t know,” you confessed, gulping. Your mind was a mess, especially after how things played out through the day. The blood, the breakup—did you really just wait for the right moment to do it? Because your heart beats for someone else now? 

Jake said your name, bringing you back to the present, “you’re not okay, let me get you some hot chocolate.”

The very idea of him standing up, of that small space between you opening even for a second, made panic flare sharp, your fingers tightening on his shoulders before you realized you were doing it.

“No,” you said quickly, the word slipping out too fast. You shook your head, “don’t go, just—please don’t go, Jake.”

He stopped immediately, his attention snapping fully back to you, and god he wanted to groan so bad, you completely trusted him, “hey,” he said softly, “I’m right here.”

You laughed weakly, “I know, I just—” you pressed your forehead briefly against his, eyes squeezing shut, making it harder for him to keep his composure, hand resting on your nape now as you breathed in together, “I feel like I’m losing it. Like I’m not thinking straight, I keep wondering if I’m reacting this way because I’m scared, or because I’m tired, or because—” you trailed off. 

Because you were sitting in another man’s lap, feeling safer than you had in weeks, and a part of you didn’t want it to stop.

“I shouldn’t feel like this,” you whispered, finally meeting his eyes, “I—It makes me feel insane.”

If only you could see the fireworks in Jake’s heart right now, you’d understand why his breath stuttered for just a fraction of a second, why his hand at your nape went utterly still like even the smallest movement might fracture the moment. Inside him, something detonated slowly and beautifully. 

Jake forced himself to breathe evenly, to keep his face neutral, his thumb pressing lightly into the curve of your neck. Though every instinct in him screamed to pull you closer, to keep you exactly where you were forever, he chose to wait a few more minutes. Insane? Oh no, no. You were finally seeing things clearly. 

“It’s been a long day, and your feelings are valid, love. You’ve been through so much, and your boyfriend didn’t bother being there for you, maybe that’s why you feel this way,” Jake murmured, watching another tear cascading down your cheek, “I won’t force you to say anything, or do anything, hm? Just know you’re safe with me.”

Your eyes were glassy when they lifted to his, lips parted from a trembling breath. Jake’s words sunk somewhere deeper than you meant them to, fuck—he knew exactly what to say, he knew how to be with you, how to make you fall in love with him, the part your ex boyfriend always missed, more now than ever. You didn’t want someone who didn’t trust you, who kept things boring, you wanted someone who’d make you feel loved each day—you wanted Jake. 

You were so tired of being careful, of explaining yourself, of wanting more and pretending you didn’t. Your hands stayed where they were, resting against his bare shoulders, but your body leaned forward before you could stop it, drawn by something reckless, drawn by the beauty of the man right in front of you. What if he didn’t like you? What if he saw you as a friend? You panicked, and before you could slow yourself down, your body reacted on instinct alone.

Leaning forward, you slotted your lips upon his plush ones—letting him taste your tears for just a second, and god—Jake loves it. You’re soft, so fucking perfect, as if your lips were made to be locked with his own. It was barely a kiss. Just the briefest, trembling press of your lips to his, driven not by certainty but by panic, a sudden impulse to chase the feeling he’d been planting inside you all night. It lasted a second, maybe less, and even as your lips touched his, your mind was already pulling away, already scrambling to undo it, already panicking at what you might’ve just broken.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, breathing hard, trying to ignore just how good those few seconds felt, the way you got butterflies you hadn’t felt in a while, “I shouldn’t have—gosh, that wasn’t fair. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Jake didn’t care, he was too dazed with the fact that you belonged to him now, wondering how you didn’t notice his cock hardening beneath you yet. You’d kissed him, oh poor you, thinking it was a mistake when that’s exactly what you were meant to do. You and Jake? It was meant to be, one way or the other. His silence however, made you speak again. 

“I wasn’t trying to use you,” you said next, because that thought had begun to creep in, “It wasn’t that—I swear.”

He didn’t hear the words as much as he watched the way you said them, so breathless, so very apologetic, lips still wet from kissing him, or crying, voice too fragile to carry the weight of what you’d just done. You didn’t even realize it yet—how irreversible that kiss was, how loud it had screamed mine. Jake was going insane, not because you had kissed him, but cause you had the nerve to feel guilty about it. Even if it worked in his favour, he had to do something about it. 

“I know,” he said at last, softly, “I didn’t think you were.” His thumb shifted at your back, the touch meaning to calm you, and the restraint it took nearly made him dizzy. You were sitting right there, pressed against him, trusting him with a vulnerability you didn’t even recognize yet, and he had to keep reminding himself to move carefully to not mess it up, not at this moment. 

“You don’t have to justify it to me,” Jake murmured, gaze lifting to your face again, “If tonight’s too much, if you just needed someone to hold onto for a minute, I don’t mind being that for you, love.” He tilted his head slightly as he spoke, his voice reassuring, as though he were offering you kindness instead of laying a trap you were already stepping into.

“You can use me,” he added gently, planting down his final trick to get you to confess, “I won’t think less of you for it.”

“I’m not using you,” you said too quickly, emotion breaking through the denial, “that’s not what this is. I didn’t—I wouldn’t.”

Perfect, you were so perfect, and admittedly in love with him now. He parted his lips to say something, only to let you continue spreading, simply holding onto you tighter, feeling the softness of your waist from where your top had ridden up. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Jake,” you confess again, breathing hard, “you’re my only safe space now.”

It was rather pathetic how your mind never diverted back to your ex, and Jake loved it, “safe space?”

“I know it sounds stupid when we’ve barely—”

Jake let his smile take over as you rambled, the one where he didn’t mask how obsessed he was, and you just happened to miss it as he grabbed your chin, making you look at him, “you don’t have to explain,” he murmured, eyes locked onto yours, “you already said everything I needed to hear, darling.”

Wait—did that mean that he actually did like you? 

“Jake—”

“You’re mine now, aren’t you?” He smirked, and you should’ve pointed out the sudden shift in the behaviour, but rather, you were happy that maybe, just maybe, your newfound feelings weren’t one sided. 

“I—” you tried to speak, dizzy with the rather insane surge of emotions within you. 

His nose brushed yours, breath mixing with yours, and that closeness, oh that unbearable, perfect closeness, it  made your lips part a little wider. Jake couldn’t hold on anymore, his mouth crashing against yours before you could speak any further, and gosh the act felt hungry, the way he parted your lips with precision, letting you feel just how long he waited for it, the desperation seeping out. Your hands flew up, gripping his bare shoulders, fingernails biting down when his tongue slipped against yours. 

Your hips shifted over his lap, making him groan into your mouth, and you swore you never felt this alive before. It was exactly how you’d imagined kisses to be in the books, and yes—the descriptions always felt real when you experienced anything with this man. Jake’s hands gripped your waist, one of them slid up under your shirt, palm dragging hot up your back, the other was fisted in your hair, keeping your lips pressed to his like he’d go feral if he let you go.

“Been waiting,” Jake mumbled between the kisses, “didn’t feel right cause you were dating someone else,” he lied, making you gasp at the depth of the situation. 

It hadn’t even been a whole hour since you broke up, and here you were, sitting on Jake’s lap and kissing him as if there was no tomorrow. No more lying to yourself about how your relationship was stable when it was falling apart all along, not knowing how Jake took immense pride in being the catalyst to that destruction. 

“You did?” You managed to ask, all breathless and flushed, opening your eyes to see his pink lips, slightly swollen now. 

“Of course, it killed me to see someone as perfect as you being mistreated by someone else,” he breathed out, pecking your lips again, and you leaned closer, “as if I wouldn’t do anything to take your misery away.”

You whimpered into his mouth when his grip on your waist tightened, rocking you forward until your clothed cunt dragged against his hard length straining beneath you. You couldn’t control your voice anymore, especially as his lips traced a slow path across your cheekbone, “did I tell you how fucking beautiful you are?”

You shook your head, already breathless, “no—”

“No?” he whispered, smiling against your skin. His lips brushed the corner of your mouth before dragging down the column of your throat, “then I must be doing something terribly wrong.”

“I thought I was going crazy—thinking about you,” you spoke, caressing his nape. 

“Then I must have been crazier,” he replied, making you smile despite everything that had happened. Nothing felt wrong anymore, absolutely nothing, and when you moaned again, Jake grabbed your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer, “I know a lot has happened, and again—I won’t rush you into anything.”

“No—please,” you almost cried out. Oh just how perfect you were for Jake. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. Yes, I am, I need it,” you nodded. 

That’s it, he didn’t have to pretend anymore, he could be exactly how he wished to be with you, and he knew you were shaken, but that’s the fun of it, isn’t it? He didn’t waste any time before he picked you up, taking you to his room—which he had cleaned earlier just for you, because he knew for a fact that it was going to be a long night for you both. 

CHAPTER. 𝐗

You barely remember how you made it to his bed, only that the room smelled like him, that the sheets were warm and soft, and that Jake hadn’t stopped touching you once. His veiny hands had been everywhere since the second the bedroom door clicked shut. Gentle, like you were fragile. Greedy, like he’d been starving—and he was, more than you. 

The mattress dipped beneath your back as he hovered over you, the shadows casting soft lines over his bare chest, his hair messy from where your fingers had already pulled through it. You weren’t sure if the pounding in your chest was from nerves or need, but Jake seemed to know exactly what to do with both.

“I’m trying my best to be nice here,” Jake mumbled breath brushing hot over your cheek as he dipped lower, “but you’re making it so hard.”

You didn’t want nice anymore, you wanted to see him unravel and show you exactly what he can offer when he wasn’t giving you his soft smiles and sweet words, so you spoke up again, “don’t be nice, make me forget.” 

He stared at you like you’d offered him his favorite dish on a silver plate—which was indeed true. His body was still, as though he were already deciding how he’d take you, how fucking hard, just how long. How far he could push before you broke in his hands. Jake rose to his feet slowly, eyes dark like a predator waking up after a long sleep, and the second his shadow pulled away from your body, the heat that had cocooned you disappeared too, the sudden absence made you cold.

“You wanna forget, hm? Your old life? Ex?”

You nodded—so easily manipulated at the sight of something you liked, and you liked Jake now. No one tempted you this way before, but he did it without breaking a sweat. And so, he simply decided to indulge more in your interests, or rather, fantasies. 

Then he said it, his voice deeper now, “okay,” he murmured, tilting his head slightly, “so be good, bunny. Go, run.”

You sat up halfway, breathing hard, “what?” 

He couldn’t be into that, right? You wondered if it was yet another coincidence, or something he was going to distract you. It didn’t matter though, the statement making you press your thighs together with need. 

“You’ve been scared, haven’t you? Let me turn that into something you’ll enjoy,” he says, giving you a lazy smirk, slowly circling the bed, “the only threat here is me.” He paused at the foot of the bed, arms crossed now, there was a wicked smirk curving his lips, one that didn’t match the softness he’d shown you earlier. 

Your breath caught at the base of your throat. You knew it wasn’t real— Jake wouldn’t hurt you, that this was a game he was inviting you into, but it didn’t stop your skin from flushing hot. The shadows in his penthouse stretched long across the floor, windows black against the night sky, and somewhere between the city lights and the weight of his voice, something in you snapped.

You stood slowly, heart racing, still unsure if you were playing along or already giving in, cause god you wanted to. He simply watched you move, biting his lip at how effortlessly beautiful you seemed even when you were scared—when you were turned on. 

His voice was soft, but his gaze? That stayed wild, “go on, baby. You want me to take it from you, don’t you?”

You swallowed thickly, nodding once before you turned. You turned, pulse roaring in your ears, bare feet hitting the polished floor as you moved away from the bed and into the open stretch of his penthouse. The space felt enormous now, all glass and shadow and city lights glittering beyond the windows, every surface reflecting just enough to remind you that there was nowhere to really hide, especially in a space you weren’t familiar with. You weren’t scared in the way fear clenches your chest and steals your breath, this was threaded with want, the kind that made your thighs press together as you ran.

Behind you, you heard him move, just the steady, unhurried pace of someone who knew exactly how this would end. The sound alone sent a shiver down your spine. You cut toward the kitchen, breath coming faster, fingers brushing the edge of the counter as you tried to steady yourself, your body already buzzing with anticipation, however, you didn’t make it far.

His hand closed around your wrist and he pulled you back into him, your back meeting his chest as he guided you effortlessly against the cool stone of the kitchen island. The juxtaposition made you gasp, the chill of the marble against your thighs and the heat of his body pressing into you stealing the air from your lungs at the same time. Jake’s mouth found the curve beneath your ear, his breath hot.

“See?” he murmured, gripping you tight, “you can’t hide from me.”

You squirmed in his grip, not to get away, never to get away—but because the tension coiling through your body needed somewhere to go. Jake felt it instantly, one of his hands sliding between your thighs and pressing, just enough to make your breath hitch, just enough to let you know exactly how this was going to go.

“Already soaked,” he groaned, the heel of his palm rocking against your clothed cunt, “you liked running—liked knowing I was gonna chase you.”

You whined, your hands flattening on the counter to keep you steady, back arching into him instinctively. He hummed in satisfaction, like he’d been waiting for that reaction, like he knew every inch of your body was tuned to him now.

“You wanna play?” He asked, lips brushing your jaw now, teeth grazing your pulse, “then you take what’s coming, bunny.”

His hand moved, unbuttoning the jeans, holding you up to drag it down, groaning at the sight of your legs he so desperately loved—fucking perfect. He dropped to his knees behind you before you could process the shift, large hands gripping your thighs to drag you right to the edge of the island. His shoulder nudged your legs farther apart, breath brushing warm over the thin fabric stretched between your thighs, and then his mouth was on you. 

The first drag of his tongue over your soaked panties made you jump, but he held you firm, tongue tracing a path up your slit before pressing against your clit with need. He mouthed at you through the fabric, tongue flattening and lips sucking just enough to make you cry out, your hands flying back to dig into his hair.

“Fuck, Jake—” your voice broke on his name, as if you were high at the sensation you’d never truly felt before, gosh—you didn’t even know you could feel this good with just his tongue. 

He almost growled, the sound vibrating against you, and then you felt your panties being tugged aside as he dove in properly, tongue hot and filthy against your bare cunt. His lips sealed around your clit, sucking hard enough to make you cry out loud, not stopping as he went on like a madman, finally getting a taste of what he’d been imagining all this while, your fingers gripping his hair tighter with every stroke of his tongue.

Jake groaned again, “so fucking perfect, you taste so good—fuck, bet no one’s tasted you like this before, bunny,” the sound muffled against your soaked pussy, and the way he moaned—like he needed this, like your taste was better than anything he’d ever touched—made your stomach flip with heat. He was insatiable, lost in it, nose nudging against your clit as his tongue licked through your folds again and again. There was no grace to it anymore, absolutely no restraint. He devoured you like a man who had waited far too long for something he was never supposed to have. 

“Fuck—you’re crazy,” you moaned out, but he was right about it, and Jake was good at what he did because your body could barely remember much, you couldn’t think straight, not when he was being such a good munch for you. 

“Not crazy enough,” Jake licked up, pressing a harsh kiss on your clit, sucking it in with need. He had never felt hunger like this before—not even in his loneliest, most desperate nights, not even in the quiet moments when he imagined what it would be like to finally touch you like this. It was you, your sounds, your taste, your trembling thighs braced around his head, and Jake—Jake was starved for every single part of it.

Every moan from you made his cock twitch, already rock-hard in his pants, already aching to be inside—but he wasn’t rushing. No, not yet. He was drunk off you, off the fact that you were squirming for him. 

“Jake, Jake—oh my god, I can’t—” your voice broke, your legs trembling, but Jake just groaned deeper, his arms wrapping around your thighs now to keep you steady. 

He pulled back just enough to breathe, chin wet, eyes dark and locked onto the slick mess between your legs. His voice was hoarse, “you have no fucking idea,” he panted, chest heaving as he looked up at you, “no idea how long—” he stopped himself before he could expose his true thoughts, watching how you were so close, looking down at him with heart eyes, tears threatening to fall down. 

“Last chance, bunny. Run while you still can, because I won’t let go again,” Jake warned, and he meant it, cause now that he knows how fucking perfect you taste, it’ll be impossible for you to escape, but he liked the thrill, even if it was a game to you. 

It was drizzling outside, the voice barely calming down your racing heart as Jake sat on his knees, as if he’d fully surrendered himself to your being, looking at you like the world had narrowed down to this exact moment, to the way your chest rose and fell too fast, to the way your lips trembled as you stared back at him with wide, overwhelmed eyes. His hands loosened their grip on your thighs just enough to make the threat of collapse very real, and you gasped softly, instinctively shifting your weight as your legs wobbled beneath you.

He smirked, tongue out before he bit his lip, “gonna run from me now, hm?” 

Your body reacted to it, faster than your mind could process, turning around and getting away, making sure to not hurt Jake in the process, making him chuckle, “such a doll,” he muttered to himself, staying right there, hearing your footsteps going around his place—a dream come true for him, “all mine, can’t escape anymore.”

You barely made it around the corner of the kitchen, your legs still trembling from the way he’d pulled you apart with just his mouth. Your thighs sticky with slick, your shirt clinging to your back with sweat, jeans long forgotten, and your brain buzzed with the heat of it all—his voice still in your ears. 

Reaching the balcony, you didn’t think twice before rushing inside, crashing through them with a gasp, bare feet slapping wet against the stone. The drizzle kissed your skin instantly, soaking your body in seconds. It was soft, enough to cling to your lashes and dampen your clothes and make the warm air feel gentle. 

Far away, in the kitchen, your phone rang with the calls of your ex, but you didn’t care anymore. Maybe it was the selfishness taking over, the insane power you felt when you were living something you’d wanted to experience—the feeling of having the same interests, and maybe, the kind of love that won’t come with the expiration date of the honeymoon phase. 

You stumbled out to the edge, palms flat against the glass railing, panting like you could outrun what he’d done to you, but you couldn’t because he was already there. The heat of his body pressed into your back a second before his arms did—one winding tight around your waist, the other sliding up to cradle your jaw as he pulled you away from the railing and right back into him. His palm flattened over your stomach, his chest bare and slick against your soaked shirt, his lips already on your neck.

“You didn’t even make it a minute, baby,” Jake whispered, breathing hot against the curve of your jaw, even as the drizzle fell cool around you, “didn’t wanna run? Not scared anymore?”

You just stared at the man from the side, his warmth juxtaposing the cold, absolutely making you forget about everything else, as if he was here just to take control of your mind and being. All you could feel and register was the hard line of his cock pressing into your ass, the strength of his arms, the desperation in the way his lips pressed against your skin.

“That’s my good girl,” he whispered, as you sighed with pleasure, fingers curling weakly against the cool glass railing as his mouth lingered just below your ear. Every word he spoke vibrated through you. 

“Your good girl,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely audible. 

And gosh, that was all it took. Jake’s mouth captured yours in a kiss that stole what little air you had left within you. It felt so deep and consuming, lips moving against yours that made your knees feel weak. His hand slid from your jaw to the back of your neck, holding you there, fully taking control now. You were purely, utterly, wholly his, and you loved every bit of it. 

“Come here,” he whispered, voice thick, his lips brushing yours one last time before he guided you gently away from the railing.

He led you a few steps to where the balcony jutted in slightly, a narrow overhang offering shelter from the drizzle. The rain didnt reach you there, turning into a quiet mist around you. Jake lowered himself down on the singular chair first, then tugged you into his lap without asking, your legs automatically falling to either side of his hips.

You gasped as your soaked panties dragged against him, the heat between you making you go crazy. Jake’s hands slid to your hips, steadying you as your body rocked forward, chasing the exact pressure you needed.

“Easy, darling,” he breathed, his thumbs digging in as he guided your movement instead, “yeah, just like that.”

You rolled your hips again, feeling the way he reacted beneath you, the way his breath hitched and his grip tightened. The sensation built with every movement of yours, your forehead dropping to his shoulder as the rain continued to fall just beyond your shelter. Jake kissed the side of your head as his hips moved to meet yours, the two of you locked together in a rhythm that felt inevitable now. 

“Jake—”

“Yeah? That’s not loud enough, bunny,” he chuckled.

“But—fuck! We’re outside!” You cried out, voice louder, making him chuckle. 

“That’s the point,” he murmured into your neck, “let them hear. Let the whole fucking city know how sweet you sound when you’re grinding on me, yeah? Let your ex hear your pretty fucking voice.”

Your head fell back at that, mouth open as you let out a moan you couldn’t hold in. The wet friction, the heat of his body under yours, the way his voice dropped into something very possessive every time you whined—it all blurred together perfectly, making your thighs tremble.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Jake groaned, one hand sliding from your hip down to press the soaked fabric of your panties tighter against your pussy. “You’re fucking dripping for me, bunny, and I haven’t even taken you inside yet.”

“You’re crazy,” you repeated, giving him a smile showing how you felt just as insane as he did, two people made for each other. 

“You love it,” he mumbled, thumb rubbing your clit in slow circles now, “you need this, don’t you? That excitement, something other than vanilla fucking,” he scoffed. 

You didn’t bother questioning how he knew about your past sexual experiences, simply because you felt ecstatic in the moment. You were so sensitive it was almost painful, your thighs twitching with every lazy rub, your hips jerking forward to meet it like you were chasing the high without thinking.

“I said,” he leaned in, “you need this, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you breathed, nodding. 

He pulled back, just enough to see your face clearly, his thumb still moving in those perfect circles. His sweatpants were soaked, his cock rock hard beneath you, and yet his patience was infuriating—perfectly cruel to you. 

You rocked into his hand, chasing the rhythm, grinding faster, harder, your body already right there on the edge. So close it hurt, “Jake—Jake, I’m—please—”

“Not yet, baby.”

You whined, and Jake loved it. As much as he wanted to see you make a mess and feel that pleasure because of him—he just wished to drag it more, even if it was hard for him to control his own fucking cock, he couldn’t let you cum just like this, he needed to fuck you so hard your body would forget any other person who touched you before him. 

“I said not yet,” he repeated, voice firmer now, “you don’t get to cum until I say so.”

A tear slipped down your cheek at the overstimulation, the aching buildup that never ended. Your clit was throbbing, twitching under his fingers, and you didn’t know whether to push into it or listen to him. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs, soaking his palm, and still—he didn’t stop.

He tilted his head and caught the tear with his tongue, groaning softly, “fuck. You taste like sin.” His hand left your pussy, only to slap your clit once, making you scream and jerk forward. 

“Jake!” you gasped, breath hitching, heat spiraling again in your belly.

“You’re crying already?” He grinned, eyes heavy-lidded with lust, “god, that’s so pretty, baby. Look at you—fuckin’ perfect when you’re desperate.”

“I need you,” you sobbed, your voice airy and hoarse now, all fucked-out, “please, please, please—need you inside, wanna cum on your cock, please—”

“You’re really crying for cock now?” He clicked his tongue, “that needy for me already, baby?”

You nodded, your body burning up, your panties long ruined, your thighs sticky, clit still throbbing from the slap, “wanna be full,” you whispered, “wanna cum with you inside.”

Jake’s expression turned feral. Oh he was so in love with you, his cock twitching against the fabric of his sweats. Without another word, he picked you up with ease, his muscles flexing as you stared at his perfectly sculpted face, wet and messy hair—his grip firm on your body. 

The bedroom door slammed behind you and barely had time to bounce back open before he shoved you onto the mattress, your back hitting the sheets as you gasped. Jake was on you in the next second, climbing over your trembling form, his hands everywhere—pushing your shirt up, tugging your bra down roughly, yanking your panties off your thighs, he couldn’t stand the thought of fabric between you anymore.

“You were begging for this, weren’t you?” He muttered, freeing his cock from the sweatpants, your eyes widening at the length, and just how hard he was as he started dragging his cock through your folds, notching the swollen head against your soaked entrance. 

Every night he’d lay awake thinking about this, imagining how it might feel to finally be inside you, how your pussy would squeeze him tight, how your moans would sound when he broke you apart with slow, deep thrusts. He’d imagined the tears, the trembling, the ruined beauty of you coming undone just for him. But nothing could have prepared him for the reality. You looked so perfect like this. Messy, wild, glassy-eyed with need, your lips parted in a silent plea, your thighs quivering where they bracketed his hips. 

Pressing his lips upon yours, he thrusted in, swallowing every single moan and scream that you let out, tongue tracing your own as he bottomed out, the squeeze making him groan loud out. Your back arched, your hands flying up to clutch at his arms, nails sinking into his biceps as the thick head of his cock practically breached you.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, voice shaking, one hand gripping your waist. 

You whimpered, legs wrapping around his waist instinctively, your heels digging into the backs of his thighs as you tried to pull him deeper. But he wasn’t ready to rush. He needed to feel all of it—the way your pussy fluttered around him as your body struggled to take him in fully.

Jake leaned back just enough to see your face, and the sight nearly undid him. You were crying again, but not from pain, rather from being so full, so overwhelmed. Tears streaked down your cheeks, your lips trembling, your whole expression soft and broken and desperate for more.

He wiped one tear away with the back of his thumb, then kissed it away from the corner of your eye, “that’s it,” he murmured, thrusting deeper until he was fully seated inside you, cock buried to the hilt, “take all of me. You can do it, baby. You’re doing so good, just forget about everything else, yeah? Nothing else, just me.”

Another tear cascaded down your cheek, and he licked it up, thrusting in hard enough to make you gasp, fingers grabbing your chin open, your eyes rolling back with how he licked your mouth, before spitting into it, watching you gulp it down for him—oh fucking perfect, he didn’t even have to tell you shit, you were made for him, “fucking hell—good girl.”

You could barely nod, but it was enough. Your cunt clenched again around him, soaked and swollen and fluttering as he pulled halfway out just to slam back in, your body jolting from the force, another sob slipping past your lips.

“Yeah, you like that,” he muttered, leaning down, pressing a filthy kiss to your cheek as his hips snapped forward again, harder, “you like being fucked dumb. My sweet, dumb baby, can’t even think with my cock inside you.”

Jake felt your legs shake around him, your pussy clenching so tight it dragged another moan from his throat. You were getting close again, he could feel it—the way you trembled, the way your fingers scrambled for anything to hold—his shoulders, the sheets, the back of his neck—told him everything.

“Don’t fight it,” he groaned, fucking into you with messier thrusts now, each one hitting so deep you swore you could feel all over your body, “you wanna cum, don’t you? Wanna cum with my cock so deep you forget your fucking name?”

You nodded again, tears slipping down your cheeks freely now, lips parted around tiny gasps as your back arched and your body started to seize, “please Jake—gonna—” you choked out, barely able to breathe, “need it, I—fuck—I need it—”

“Cum for me,” he chuckled, his thumb rubbing circles over your clit now, “make a mess. Fucking drip for me, little bunny.”

And that was enough for you to feel that unadulterated pleasure, your scream broke in your throat, nothing but a cry of pure release as your orgasm hit you like nothing before, your vision white, your body locking up beneath him as you squirted, your slick splashing wet against his stomach, soaking the sheets, your cunt still spasming wildly around him.

“Fuck—oh fuck yes,” Jake snarled, watching the mess coat him, cock still driving through it, “you’re leaking—baby, fuck—you’re so messy. All for me. All this cause of my cock?”

You nodded through the tears, unable to speak. He grabbed your legs, yanked them up over his shoulders again and folded you in half, pounding into you with brutal thrusts now. The angle was insane, his balls slapping against your ass, your pussy so wet it sounded obscene every time he slammed in.

“Gonna cum in you, yeah?” He panted, his voice going more desperate now, “you’re gonna hold it, you hear me? Gonna keep every drop inside. I don’t care if it spills—I’ll stuff it back in.”

You wailed under him, your body beyond spent now, your mind blank with overstimulation, your pussy fluttering around him like it still wasn’t done, and god Jake wanted to say it loud out, how he was so in love with how you smiled, how you giggled when he kissed you despite being so fucking gone, you reacted to him just how he wanted you to.

Jake leaned down, biting your neck as he buried himself one last time, hips jerking as he came hard, so fucking hard—spilling deep inside you, cock pulsing as your body sucked it all in, your walls milking him. He stayed there, still twitching inside as he looked into your eyes, watching his own reflection inside as your whimper reverberated the room. 

“I fucking lo—” he stopped himself, “fuck, you’re perfect, so pretty,” he said instead, finally moving enough to pull back and see the mess, he groaned at the sight—his cum already leaking out of your swollen cunt, dripping down onto the sheets, your thighs slick with it. He didn’t even reach for a towel, pushing his cum back in with two fingers, smearing it up against your walls again, watching your hips jerk.

“Not wasting a fucking drop,” he whispered, kissing your damp cheek again, “you’re mine, yeah? All this is mine, fucking mine, mine.” He kept on repeating it and you—being so fucked in the head, thought it was the hottest fucking sight ever. A man absolutely gone into depths of desperation for you? You wanted that for life. 

You were still trying to catch your breath when he spoke up, eyes still trying to memorize all of you, kissing your knuckles, “i’m sorry I lost control.”

He sat up slightly, adjusting the blanket over you, like you weren’t already covered with his marks and love. His hand stayed on your stomach, not having it in him to stop touching you when you chased that high yourself. When you smiled, shaking your head, he swore he fell deeper into whatever twisted obsession he harboured towards you. 

“Stay,” he breathed out, looking dead serious, “don’t go anywhere, just stay with me, hm? I know it’s early but I can’t let you go back there.” 

“But how can I just live here? It’s not easy—”

“It doesn’t have to be hard, y’know? Especially if that place is haunted, you should let it go,” he mumbled, pressing his forehead against yours, cause god he couldn’t bear any distance anymore, he wanted to lock you inside with him and never leave, just you and him being together forever, “I’ll help you move in your stuff, I know it’ll be hard for you to go there alone, there’s enough space for you to have your own room too,” Jake said, absolutely hating the fact of you being in a different room, but he had to say it. 

“I—I don’t know, Jake, it’s a lot to ask for,” you mumbled, and he instantly made you smile by pressing a soft kiss on your lips. 

“Y/N,” he whispered against you, sending a shiver up your spine, “It’s not a lot, it wasn’t just sex for me—I like you,” he confessed as if he wasn’t in love with you, eyes full of sparkles, looking at you with hope in his eyes. 

“You do?” You asked, breathing harder. 

He nodded, “I do. I like you in every way possible, even sitting beside you without speaking makes me feel happy, I know it was wrong for me to like you when you had a boyfriend, but some feelings can’t be controlled.”

You didn’t answer right away, but your heartbeat was fast again as you stared at him, “Jake,” you whispered, voice barely holding together, “what if this ruins things? What if I regret it?”

Regret? Oh Jake wanted to scoff right there. What would you even regret? Living like a princess with him, getting everything you want, getting Jake’s undivided love and attention. You’d be crazy to think that there’s anything to regret. 

He had to maintain his calm, “hey, I just know you won’t regret staying somewhere you feel safe, with someone who actually wants you around.”

You genuinely wanted to believe him. The sudden noise of lightning made you gasp as the rain only grew stronger, making you hug Jake—the way your body was so comfortable with him was answer enough. He only hugged you tighter, taking in your scent yet again, pupils dilated with how much his emotions were in tune with the moment. 

“You don’t have to be scared right now,” he murmured into your hair, “you’re here with me.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, rainlight flashing softly through the room, and for the first time the thought of staying didn’t feel complicated, “can I really stay?” you asked, almost shy now.

He nodded immediately, brushing his thumb along your cheek, as if it was a joke, you’re meant to stay here, now and forever, “yeah, my love,” he said, “as long as you want.”

He kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then your jaw, making you squirm and laugh quietly, trying to hide your face, “Jake,” you whined, giggling.

“What?” He said innocently, brushing his nose against your neck, absolutely thrilled and shaking from the inside at the thought of you being here each day, “can’t kiss my girl?”

“You’re so annoying,” you mumbled, even as your arms wrapped tighter around his neck.

“Annoying?” He laughed, and you loved the sound of it, so easily manipulated into loving things you weren’t familiar with, already shifting his hands to the back of your thighs, “say that again after I carry your cold, shivering little self into a hot bath.”

Jake gives you that feeling—he makes you feel like you belong with him, like you matter, and most importantly, he trusts you so deeply that not even your closest ones did. And that’s what makes it so perfect, how you took the most obvious step into Jake’s trap, making him chuckle with how you were naive and you needed him. 

And as he held you tighter, carrying you straight into the life he built around you, Jake smiled—because you thought this was love, and not once did it occur to you that it was a cage.

CHAPTER. 𝐗𝐈

Maybe you did like your cage a lot, granted you were happier than ever living with Jake—who was your boyfriend now. Yes, it was rushed, but you know what they say about when it feels right, it’s right. He’d been sweet enough to accompany you when you moved your belongings into his penthouse, heck, he didn’t let you lift a finger as he carried everything inside. 

And you were ecstatic to see him absolutely glowing through it all—his sleeves rolled up, jaw tense with focus, smiling every time you caught his eye like he couldn’t believe you were really here. He’d kissed your temple after setting down your last box, whispered something like “finally,” and you’d laughed, brushing it off like he was just being silly as usual. You didn’t think too hard about it. You didn’t think too hard about a lot of things anymore.

The place was beautiful—wide windows, warm floors, shelves already cleared for your books, space in the closet that he’d emptied before even asking what you were bringing. Everything was ready for you, as if he’d known the answer long before you gave it. And Jake, well—Jake was perfect.

He made breakfast before you woke up, kissed your shoulder while the kettle boiled, offered you his hoodie on nights you didn’t even say you were cold. He never asked where you were going or who you were texting, he didn’t have to when he knew everything. 

The only thing you were curious about was that one room he kept locked, not even allowing you inside, and you didn’t think much about it, simply choosing to respect his privacy. If not, he’d pull you into a deep kiss, leading to the things you’d grown to enjoy a lot. Your life felt colourful again, not bland anymore. 

Jake was clingy, not having it in him to let you out of his sight if it weren’t for your lectures, maybe that obsession of his made you feel more important, and happy, cause you didn’t mind it one bit. Your ex had stopped contacting you, and even your family supported you through the breakup, minus the fact that they weren’t sure about you moving in with a new man so soon. 

He was patient with you, learning new things about you each day—acting surprised even if he knew about it beforehand. Jake didn’t know how to word it, he couldn’t control his emotions, as if they had heightened tenfold with your presence. At times, he simply wanted to pin you down and bury his face in your neck, your scent calming him down, or rather, making him go even deeper into the spiral, and you mistook it for the onset of love for Jake, especially when he stared at you with his puppy-like eyes. 

So, you got home early, expecting Jake to be home, but he wasn’t. He had crossed boundaries long back, but watching your ex text you got him pissed, he stared at the screen, biting his nails. And that was the first time he acted so recklessly without a plan, knowing you won’t be home, he didn’t bother locking that door. 

That was a mistake that changed everything as you stood inside the room, shaking with fear, or something worse that you couldn’t pinpoint—Jake wasn’t just in love with you, he was severely obsessed. Your pictures were scattered all around, some taped to the wall, others stacked on the desk in messy piles. Not just the ones you’d posted online, there was more—pics of you sleeping, brushing your hair in your old bedroom.

Your hands shook as you reached for one photo, a blurry shot of you crying in front of your ex from the day you broke up. There were other things too—little items he’d kept, including the lipgloss you’d lost a few months back. 

Meanwhile Jake’s face was splattered with blood, it wasn’t his, but of the guy who was trying his best to get you back. Jake had been too nice, way too nice, “she’s mine,” he muttered, hands shaking with a sinister smile on his face, “don’t come closer, yeah? Not that you can anymore.” His laugh boomed through the empty space, your ex on the floor begging for his life. 

This was too much—you tried your best to wipe your tears, knowing Jake might be back anytime soon, and you wouldn’t know how to react around him anymore. You knew what you saw wasn’t right, you knew the things he’d done weren’t justifiable, not even close, but for some reason your fear didn’t look like running—it just confused you further, you feel this weird guilt within you, like you weren’t sure if it was more terrifying to be wanted this much, or to want someone back despite everything.

The front door opened right that second and you flinched at the noise, mouth going dry at the sight of Jake covered in blood, him stopping in his tracks at your presence, eyes travelling up to see his room door wide open. 

His jaw tightened, feeling something closer to relief mixed but also disbelief, like the worst thing that could’ve happened had already happened and somehow you were still here. When he finally looked back at you, his expression changed entirely. Whatever mask he usually wore around you cracked completely, his breath hitching as he started laughing, like he didn’t know what else to do with the insanity within him. He started walking towards you, blood still drying on his hands, on his clothes. 

“You saw it, baby,” he murmured, voice still full of love. 

You nodded, tears blurring your vision again, and for a split second you thought he might pull away, might rethink everything. Instead, he reached for you and pulled you into him hard, arms locking around your shoulders, shaking as he laughed again into your hair, the sound breaking halfway, but of course, he was overjoyed that you didn’t run away, that you stayed and waited for him to come back. 

You cried against his chest and hugged him back without thinking twice, because even now your body reacted to him before your head could catch up. You knew this wasn’t normal, you knew nothing about this should’ve felt okay, but standing there with him holding you like he’d just barely kept you from slipping away, all you could feel was how badly he needed you.

And the worst part was knowing that he’d crossed every line imaginable, and still, somehow, you weren’t thinking about leaving.

You were thinking about how to stay, and how you probably won’t be able to leave. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!

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Going to a school where everyone around you got what they wanted was torture. Especially for someone like you. You don't come from a wealthy family like the other students do. Some people would call your home life unfortunate if they knew. Which is exactly why almost no one knows. 

You only got accepted into this school because of a scholarship program, after endless studying, and trying to stay focused at your old school, that was your out.

It was hard though, with the bullying, the mean comments, trying to remain sane while everyone in your life pushed and pointed like you were some object for observation and critiquing. 

But at your new school, people actually leave you alone. You've been attending here for a few months now. As a natural observer it only took 1 to understand the dynamic of the people here.

From the designer hand bags, to the freshly blown out hair, the girls here were not only gorgeous but also had the money to maintain things like that, it was obvious why they didn't bother you. Because you weren't a threat. 

Just like any other school there's always those cliques, the groups of people who hang around the same circle. Yours happens to be you and two other girls, your first friends you made here, Lyla and Gigi.

You have a hard time telling if they pity you, they know your situation. How your mother constantly tries to live off the wealth of other men, they know you don’t live in a good area—

“Oh my gosh he totally looked at me, didn't he look at me?” Lyla says, eyes darting between you and Gigi.

“He quite literally looks at anything with boobs Ly..” Gigi says, taking a bite of the school cafeterias fries.

“Come on, at least feed into my delusions a little bit” She says, stealing one of your fries.

You turn your head slightly, three tables back sits the most known group of boys in the whole school. Football players. Typical.

“You’re talking about Heeseung right?” you say turning back to your friends. “Obviously! I mean with Gigi being Jay’s sister obviously he knows who I am right?” She says, eyes wide

“Yeah- im sure he does, don't they hang out a ton after school and stuff too?” You ask, playing with the salad on your plate with a fork.

“Yup! At Gigi’s too, most of the time, and especially after practice, when they're hot and sweaty-”

“Okay gross. my brother is on that team” Gigi says, gagging

You've been to her house a few times, whether it was for one of your group projects, or to help her out with some school work, Slept over often too, I mean her house was huge.

Her parents even offered to have you sleep in one of the 6 guest bedrooms. But Lyla said it doesn't count as a sleepover if we’re not all together.

“Incoming, 12 o’clock.” Lyla says looking past your shoulder at the group of boys.

“How much you wanna bet she’s gonna yell at him” Gigi says, making you turn around, you watch as a familiar blonde haired girl you've seen around campus storms into the cafeteria, heels clicking on the ground as she approaches them.

“Jake where the fuck were you!” She yells, glaring at the dark haired boy, number 15 on the football team. You only know that because Lyla made you go through the list of them to figure out which one Heeseung was. 

You watch him, the way his eyes never leave his phone when he speaks. “God- What do you not fucking understand about where done?” He says finally looking up at her, the other guys around him look like they're watching a movie while they observe the interaction.

“But you didn't even-” she starts “Clara I don't want to hear your bullshit okay? Just leave me alone.” He says, tone irritated.

“Fine- you know you're just like all the other guys. Only talking to girls just to get your dick wet.”You watch the way her grip tightens on her designer bag.

“You didn't seem to mind.” He says, making the guys around him let out the laughs they've been holding.

“Fuck you- you’re so going to regret this!” She says, and you watch as he rolls his eyes and focuses back on his phone

“She looks like she's about to throw a tantrum” Gigi says, making your attention go back to your friends

“I mean Jake knew what he was getting into when they started..messing around" Lyla says. 

You just nod, half listening before turning your head again to look at the group, they’re back to laughing, probably at the interaction that just happened.

“-and then we can order pizza or something, it’s the perfect night for it too! You in y/n?” Lyla says, and you look at them confused “Huh?”

“Girl, The Victoria's Secret fashion show duh, it's live tonight.” She says "Gigi's house obviously since you know, movie theater room” 

“I love the way you volunteered my own place, But yeah, my house tonight” She says shrugging 

“Um- I dont know guys..I kind of have to study-”

“Y/n it's friday night. Come on, you have all weekend to study, please!” She says looking at you with those infamous puppy dog eyes

“Fine, fine ill be there, what time?” You ask, picking up your phone. 

“Like 7 ish?” Lyla says, looking at Gigi who just nods, “Yeah, Jay won't be home either, pretty sure him and his friends are going to some party.”

“Your parents are letting him?” Lyla asks, brow raising.

 “They're not even home, they literally left for their anniversary trip not even 3 hours ago.” Gigi says checking her phone. “So it will just be us then? she nods.

The rest of the day is a blur, between trying to set up tutoring appointments with your counselor, because apparently it looks good to help other students, and trying to finish your own work so you can actually go to Gigi’s.

You mentally prepare yourself to ask your mom if you can go tonight, hoping she's in a good mood. Knocking lightly on her bedroom door “Mom?” you ask quietly and the door swings open, you take in her attire, the club dress, the really tall heels, her hair and make up done. 

“You’re going on another date?” You ask brow raising 

“Yeah, remember that guy from the bar I told you about, Chris?" She says smiling, you nod even though you don't remember her saying a thing about him. 

“Right- um well I was just wondering if I can go to Gigi’s tonight? I finished my homework and stuff and its also friday so-” 

“Sure” She says, and you pause. It must be because she's going on a date, because you would have gotten a whole lot more shit. 

“Can you sleep over too.” It's not a question. 

“Uh- I can ask” You say shrugging

“Well just try too okay? Im about to leave” She says, putting in her earrings and giving you a very rare kiss on your forehead before walking out the door, leaving you confused as ever.

Its like the universe was on your side when you opened your phone to see the group chat messages 

Lyla: Gigi we should just have a sleepover

Lyla: It's already gonna be late when the live is done too

Lyla: Plus we haven't had one in so long

Gigi: yeah I was literally going to ask if you guys wanted to stay the night anyway lol

Lyla: YAY! Good because my bags already packed

Gigi: Y/n can u come too?

You: Yup! I'll be there

You set your phone down so you can focus on packing an overnight bag, you don't need to overdress either, so you settle on wearing some shorts, a hoodie, and fluffy socks with slippers, this is a sleepover after all

When you get to Gigi's house- no, mansion, because this can't even compare to your house. Lyla comes running out

"You're late!” She says, grabbing your bags from you “It's like 10 minutes-” 

“And the show starts in 20!” she says frantically, grabbing your arm and dragging you into the house

You dont think you’ll ever get over how nice it is, from the high ceilings to the expensive paintings on the wall, and the pool in the backyard, probably way too big for a family of four.

You catch the faint smell of popcorn from the kitchen, as Lyla places your bags by the stairs, “Where's Gigi?” you ask 

“Shes setting up in the movie room, im trying to finish the popcorn” Lyla says going to the kitchen

You walk down the hall you've grown familiar with, observing the pictures on the wall of Gigi's family 

“Y/n- how do you disconnect a Playstation from the TV? Jay didn't even bother to.” She says, clicking random buttons on the remote. You laugh walking over to help her

୨♡୧

“Okay all I have to say is when I get married and stuff, im making my husband buy me that specific set.” Lyla says over the runway music, making you and Gigi laugh because she practically yells over how loud it is. 

You open your mouth to speak but stop when all three of your eyes go to the door as it opens, Heeseung walks in pausing as his eyes go to the large TV screen “Holy shit- are you guys watching porn?” He says, looking at the model on the stage, the space instantly feels smaller as Sunghoon pushes  past him to get in the room “We’re not watching porn!” Gigi says, pausing the TV

Lyla is just staring at Heeseung, Jay walks in next “Gigi what the hell are you watching-”

“Did we interrupt your group gooning session?” Heeseung says. You watch Gigi's face flush red, now clearly visible since Jay turned on the lights. 

“Jay- You said you were going to that stupid ass party tonight!” She says walking over to him “Yeah well it got cancelled.” He says, rolling his eyes. “Bruh I've been wanting to play the ps5 all day” Sunghoon says before looking at the TV again 

“Do we not literally have a room for you to do just that?” Gigi says, eyeing down Sunghoon, before looking back at her brother.

“Dude someone left a whole bag of popcorn in the microwave-” Jake walks in pausing when he sees everyone in here, his eyes land on you for a split second before looking at the TV “What are they watch-” 

“Its not fucking porn! You all are so stupid!” Gigi says before her eyes snap back to Jay “I literally said I was having Y/n and Lyla over in our messages!”  

“Yeah well I forgot” He rolls his eyes again, you cant help but observe the other four boys, you watch Heeseungs eyes, following them to Lyla.. that has to be considered eye fucking. 

You can't help but look at Jake though, he's wearing glasses. Are they prescription? He’s looking at something on his phone. He just showed Sunghoon something on his phone that made him smile. Sunghoon looks at you for a second before nudging Jake's shoulder, Jake is looking at you- is he looking behind you? You turn your head slightly, before looking back at him, why is he smirking- 

“Fine! You keep the movie room well just go in the living room. Just don't snitch” Jay pleads, not even embarrassed that he's begging in front of his friends, Gigi just beams proudly, knowing she's won when they walk out.

୨♡୧

“She’s a virgin?!” Jake practically yells, making Heeseung, and Sunghoon's eyes snap to him. 

“You’re so fucking lucky the movie room is noise cancellation.” Jay says pinching his eyebrows 

“And- I don't even know if it's true, I just over heard Gi talking on the phone with her and Lyla a few weeks back” Heeseung and Sunghoons attention on the movie long forgotten 

“Are you talking about y/n?” Heeseung asks curiously 

“There's no way, I mean yeah she's like quiet and shit but she has some experience right?” Sunghoon adds

“I don't know man, but her and Gi became friends at the beginning of the school year, she's been over a few times. She's pretty chill.” Jay says 

“So she doesn't have a boyfriend?” Jake asks, brow raising 

“I thought you liked them experienced Jake? You fuck with little virgins now or what?” Heeseung says smirking 

“I mean she’s cute, nothing wrong with teaching her a thing or two” Jake says with a knowing look on his face

“She doesn't really talk to guys though–like at all. Gi always complains that she’s too busy studying. But she's hella smart, tutoring and shit-”

“Wait, she tutors?” Jake's ears perk up at that

“Yeah she came over to help Gigi with chem the other day.” Jay says casually, like he didn't just give him the golden ticket to your personal space

“Are you serious?” Sunghoon says looking at him

Heeseung glances between the two, picking up what they're hinting at. “It's kinda risky, I mean girls like that- they aren't like, easy you know? Plus you're literally one of the smartest on the team.” 

“You think she's actually gonna be interested though?” Jay asks

“I bet she'll see through that shit the first tutoring lesson honestly” Sunghoon says, making Heeseung laugh

“You think I only pull the easy ones?” Jake watching the both of them

“Thats all you’ve done this whole time-” Heeseung starts

“Alright bet.” Jake says, making the three of them pause

“Bet?” 

“Yeah, I'll get her to fall for me.” Jake says confidently 

“Yeah right” Heeseung adds

“Shit- I mean what about Clara though?” Sunghoon asks

“What about her? Im not fucking her anymore”

“You realise the shit she's gonna give y/n if you actually go through with that?” Jay says

“You’re basically setting her up for failure, Claras fucking crazy.” Heeseung says

“I still dont know why you decided to fuck her in the first place” he adds

“Probably because of her personality.” Jay says through a laugh

“Nah fuck her, she wont mess with y/n like that, shes not that desperate.” Jake says, but deep down he doesn't know if it's 100% true. Is he really setting you up for failure with this?

He's pulled from his thoughts when you come walking out of the movie room, coincidentally.

He only saw you sitting down, but now he's taking you in fully. Hoodie, shorts, fluffy…cat socks.

You pause when you see them all staring at you before awkwardly smiling and going to the kitchen to grab more popcorn.

Lyla and Gigi sent you out because they got it last time, but that's when there wasn't a group of guys you hardly knew in the living room. 

Jay nudges Jake's shoulder before glancing to the kitchen, hesitating a beat before standing up and walking over. 

You're looking through the five different popcorn options, who even needs that much popcorn anyway.

He watches as you choose the ‘extra butter’ one before speaking “Good choice” He says, walking further into the kitchen

“Oh- um thanks, it's the best one” You say, opening the microwave to put the popcorn in, he looks down at your legs, then back at your face when you turn around

“Y/n right?” He says, watching your face

“Yeah, I know who you are already though.” fingers toying with the end of your hoodie

“Oh? You've been to a game?” He says, taking a step closer 

“No- I mean, I don't really watch football like that or anything- or sports” You say, looking back at how much time is on the popcorn, 50 seconds. 

50 more seconds of this extremely weird interaction between you and one of the most popular guys in school. 

He notices, he doesn't like that. “Y’know we have the same 3rd block.”

“Oh- AP Anatomy & Physiology?" You ask, but you know exactly what he's talking about, how could you not. He’s the 9th one to arrive in class everyday, everyone swarms his desk like a bunch of baby ducks just to talk to him. 

“Yeah, I sit in the third row-” He's pauses when the beep of the microwave interrupts him, you silently thank the universe before pulling the popcorn out and mumbling something like “enjoy your movie” before practically running back to the movie room, leaving Jake confused, but also intrigued, most girls fall to their knees the second he gets within a 5 feet radius, so why did you just run away..

He walks back to the living room, sitting down, “Told you, easy ones only” Heeseung says through a laugh

୨♡୧

You're the first person to walk into AP Anatomy & Physiolgy on Monday, as always. You take your usual assigned, unassigned seat in the back row by the window, unpacking your bag, getting settled.

Your teacher walks in shortly after, she’s gotten used to you being here first. “Y/n” she says over the silence “Yes?”

“Are you okay with talking about how you're offering tutoring?” setting her own stuff down

"I'll have you do it at the end of class.” she adds. “Oh- yeah, I printed flyers for it too.” You say, and she smiles.

The students slowly file in, your eyes flick up to the door when the 9th person comes in. Jake.

The second he walks in his eyes are on you, you don't know why you feel hot all the sudden, like someone turned up the heater when he looks at you

Barely having any time to take in his outfit, you tap your pen on your paper, hoodie and jeans maybe?

You stop when you see the familiar frame take a seat next to you- Why is Jake sitting next to you, does he not always sit in the third row- You don't look at him, instead looking down at his shoe in your peripheral vision, because it would be weird to look at him. Even if you do feel his eyes on you. 

The class flies by, you write down whatever your teacher puts on the board, trying not to be distracted by the noticeable presence beside you, if he had an aura around him, it would be clashing into yours because this whole time you've been weirdly affected by his close proximity. 

“..And y/n has something to say as well.” Your teacher says, pulling you from your thoughts,you watch as everyone's heads turns to you before you stand up and walk to the front, clearing your throat

“Hi- im offering tutoring for anyone who needs extra help, any subject, um- here are the flyers if you're interested.” you say quickly before placing them on the teachers desk and walking back to your seat.

There's nothing you hate more than public speaking like that, you try to subtly calm your breathing. Jakes eyes are focused on you the whole time.

As soon as the bell rings you’re practically already out the door, Jake watches you stand up abruptly and rush out before he goes to the teachers desk to grab one of the flyers.

୨♡୧

“I don't know- she didn't even spare me a glance, like at all.” Jake says, setting his bag down on the bench in the locker room

“I told you, she doesn't talk to guys like that” Jay mutters, tying his shoe

“Pretty boy lost his charm huh?” Heeseung chuckles, shutting the door behind him

“Not completely” Jake says, pulling out your tutoring flyer from his bag

“You sneaky motherfucker-” Sunghoon eyes him, grabbing the paper from his hands

“Holy shit- you're actually going through with that?” Heeseung looks over Sunghoon's shoulder

“Just to prove a point?” Sunghoon asks

Jake doesn’t have time to reply before the Coach comes in, yelling at them to ‘get the fuck out the locker room’

୨♡୧

As soon as you get home, you pause when you see a suitcase by the door. “Oh y/n- took you long enough, you remember Chris right?” She say’s coming out of her room with a duffel bag

“The guy you went on a date with?” You ask, seting your backpack down

“Yeah, the rich one” She says with a smirk

“Anyways, he’s taking me to Boston for a trip!” She says excitingly

“Boston- what? Didnt you just meet him though?” You ask, brow raising in confusion 

“I think he might be the one” She says smiling, the same smile she’s put on every time she says that.

“Um- well how long?” you ask, trying to register this whole thing

“Hmm- like 2 and half weeks-”

“2 and a half?! Mom- what the hell?”

“Calm down, I hate when you get like this y/n.” She says, putting her duffel bag on her shoulder

“Theres money for food, and whatever you need on the counter. It's not like I'm leaving you here to starve.” 

“But-”

“Shit- I gotta go, ill call you when we land okay?” She says, giving you an awkward side hug before rushing out, leaving you confused as ever. This is what always happens though so you don't know why you're confused. She’s probably just doing it for the money anyway. Marry a rich man, use him to provide for us. It's pathetic.

The time was 9:46 when you receive the message. A number you don't know, you click on it

Unknown: Hey, Is this y/n?

You: Who is this?

Unknown: I got this number from your tutoring flyers

sitting up, this is the first person to actually text you about that

You: Oh yeah, what subject do you need help with?

Unknown: AP Anatomy & Physiology

You: Okay perfect, I have an A in that class so I can definitely help

You get your notebook out and a pencil

You: How soon do you want to start? And what's your first and last name

Unknown: Can we start tomorrow? I have practice everyday except Tuesdays

Practice? No way. You feel your heart beat pick up, This cant be–

Unknown: First names Jake, last names Sim.

The Jake Sim is texting you, about.. Tutoring. Is he not one of the top students though? You take a deep breath before typing back a reply

You: Okay, Tomorrow works. Does after school in the library work for you?

Jake Sim: Yeah im good with that

Jake Sim: I’ll see you tomorrow y/n

You shut your phone off, trying to ignore the way your palms are sweating a little too much right now, who even uses peoples names like that in messages?

Jake smiles down at his phone before swiping out of the chat.

୨♡୧

You're early. You're also early everywhere you go. You already set up your computer, and notebook with his name at the top, even after you erased it 3 times.

He walks in, you notice immediately, looking up from your paper, his hair is framing his face, no glasses today. White shirt with jeans. He smiles before sitting down across from you, you smile back, trying to seem less awkward.

You try to remind yourself, this is a mere tutoring lesson, so you'll act like it.

“So I just need to know what you're struggling on before we actually get into the teaching stuff.” you say looking at him, his eye contact is intense, it's hard to hold it.

He pulls out his own notebook

“Mainly muscle contractions,heart anatomy, and” He pauses before looking up at you “-Hormones.” You hesitate a beat before writing that down under his name. He notices.

“Okay, I can work with this- is there anything specific you don't understand? Is it a focusing thing?” You ask, genuinely concerned “I actually pulled up your average and you seem to be doing fine-”

“It's my memory” He says quickly “I have a hard time understanding, when the teacher talks it doesn't really comprehend well.” 

“Oh- that's completely normal, are you more hands on?” You ask

He smirks “And visual.”

You look like you're actually deep in thought “Okay so, we would need to do more interactive studying, makes sense.” You say writing more stuff down

He watches you, the way your brows furrow in thought.

“Are you going to the game next Friday?” He says, your eyes flick up to him, confused at the sudden question

“I don't really go to football games or anything- Thats more Lyla and Gigi” You say, eyes traveling down for a split second when his tongue wets his bottom lip

“You should come” He says casually, like time has no affect on him

“We really should stay on task“

“If I pass the test next week will you come?”

Your caught off guard by the question, his heavy gaze on you making it worse

“Um- I’ll think about it” You say before writing more stuff down, he smiles slightly

୨♡୧

The next week goes by quickly, thankfully. Your mom has only called once, claiming she forgot to say she landed, even if it was a day later.

Home is lonely, its quiet but its good for studying. Your thoughts drift to Gigis family sometimes, even though her and her brother argue half the time, at least she has someone.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when you hear your name being called, not by the familiar voice of your friends but by..Jake?

Lyla and Gigi both look behind you, eye brows raised as he comes closer, standing infront of your table in the cafeteria

You watch the way people look at him, the heads turning to you, the attention—it’s too much

“Y/n” He says looking down at you

“I might be a little late for tutoring today, coach wants to talk to us about the game.” He says, making Lyla and Gigi’s eyes flick between you two

“Um- Okay, But you couldn’t have messaged me that?” you say, trying to ignore the gazes on you from people you’ve never spoken to in your life.

“I mean you were already here so-“

“Yeah just text me next time okay?” You say, avoiding eye contact

He looks over at his friends, watching their snickers. Oh hell no.

You think he’s going to walk away by now but he sits down, right next to you. That makes Lyla's jaw practically drop

“Why? You don’t like talking to me?” He says, watching you intently

“I never said that- you just cause a lot of..attention.” You say, looking around before looking at him

“You don’t like attention?”

“Not from this many people.” You say standing up, grabbing your bag

“Where are you going-“

“I have to go.” You mumble before putting your bag over your shoulder and walking out the cafeteria, not looking back because you know if you do, everyones eyes will be on you.

As soon as the doors shut behind you, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Really?” Gigi asks, watching Jakes confused face

“You realize you’re like a magnet for attention right?” Lyla says

“And there’s nothing she hates more then that.”

“I was just asking her about tutoring.” Jake says, standing up to walk back to his friends

“Nice job man, you really do still got it huh?” Heeseung says through a smirk, making the others stifle their laughs

“Should’ve put money on it” Sunghoon adds, earning a glare from Jake

୨♡୧

Jake came in late like he said, 15 minutes to be exact. He looked out of breath, like he ran here.

The tutoring session was fine, you kept that professional exterior even if you were trying not to feel embarrassed about earlier, thankfully he didn't bring it up.

“Aren't hormones just when you're horny?” He asks, pencil raised above his paper, looking at you

You pause “Did you really just ask me that-” You didn't mean to say it out loud but you did, it makes him let out a chuckle, he bites his lip, something he does often, a little too often. To the point where you can't help your eyes follow when he does it.

“Okay um, let me think of how to word this” you say, looking down at your paper before back up at him “It’s not just what makes you- ‘horny’ but I guess that could be a way to describe it, a more..scientifical word is Steroid Hormones..”

He watches you talk, even if what your saying is hardly registering to him, because not only are you talking to him about sex hormones or whatever it is, but you're not wearing the same knit sweater you had on earlier, you must have taken it off, because he cant pull his eyes away from the way your tits look in that tank top-

“Jake?” Your voice cuts through his thoughts, his eyes find yours again.

“How are you supposed to pass this test when you can’t even focus?” You ask, completely unaware of how he was just looking at you

“Shit- sorry, what were you saying” He says a little bit more nervously than he intended, why is he so damn nervous, why do you even make him nervous? 

“Hm, you need something to do with your hands.” You say casually, taking him by surprise

His mind races with what you mean, please, please ask him to finger you.

He pauses when you pull out a rubix cube, a fucking rubix cube and hand it to him- what the fuck is he supposed to do with this shit?

“You said you were more hands on, one of the other students I tutor is also like that. Whenever she uses that, it's like she’s more focused, you should try it.” You say smiling, encouraging.

He doesn't know why he feels relieved when he hears the word ‘she’, but he does.

He takes the object from your hand, fidgeting with it for a few seconds before you continue

The rest of the lesson is smooth, who knew a rubix cube would actually work. You try to stay focused yourself though.

The constant bounce of your leg to settle whatever your feeling when you watch the way his fingers work the object in his hand, it should be illegal to have that many veins in the first place.

Later that night, in one of your moments where you give yourself a break from studying.

Heating up the leftover pasta you made the other night, you get a text. Your body reacts before your mind does, heartbeat picking up

Jake Sim: I tried the practice test thing you showed me earlier

Jake Sim: Got a 100% 

You smile, when he sends a picture of his laptop, the score on it saying just that

You: Good job

He frowns at his phone, that's all? No titty pic as a reward?

Jake Sim: Guess I'll be seeing you at Friday's game then :)

You: Well see if your studying shows then

Jake Sim: I'll make sure it does

୨♡୧

“Y/N!” you hear Jake yell after you, you stop to turn around, seeing him walking up to you, leaving Heeseung and Jay’s side as he comes into step beside you.

You’re still not used to the pointed looks you get from the people around you, but you're training yourself to pretend they aren't there.

Heeseung and Jay watch as Jake rushes to you like a damn puppy, looking at each other.

He hands you a paper, you take it looking down at the big 100% on the top “You actually did it!” You say smiling, before looking up at him beside you

He puts a hand on his chest, with a fake gasp “And to think you doubted me” He stops at the cafeteria door, pulling you aside before you walk in, facing you away from the people who keep looking at you. The nosy motherfuckers who can’t help but take attention to you ever since he’s became—friends? With you.

“So you'll come to the game then right?” He asks, doing that thing where he bites his lip

“Thats what we agreed on, plus Lyla and Gigi are going too” You say, watching the way his eyes light up

The last few people file in the cafeteria, leaving you and him alone. 

“Y’know what the theme is right?” He asks, and this time you're genuinely caught off guard- theme? He notices your confusion right away 

“Every game has a theme, pretty sure this one’s western, like cowboys and shit” He says watching your face, the way your eyebrows knit in uncertainty

“Lyla and Gigi didn't tell you?”, you shake your head softly

“Im surprised- they always go like all out for the themes” He says through a quiet laugh

Great. That only means they are going to make you go all out too.

You both pause when the final bell rings, walking in to the cafeteria like its the most normal thing, your steps falter when you feel the eyes on you, you look at your friends before glancing at Jakes group- why are they all staring at you-

“I’ll see you later y/n” He smiles before walking to his table, you sit down in front of Lyla and Gigi who are both looking at you knowingly

“What?” you say through an awkward laugh

“You know damn well what” Lyla says through a smirk

“Tutoring my ass” Gigi adds back

“Girl I do not look at my tutor like that” Lyla says, holding back a laugh

“Like what-?”

“Like I want to eat him the fuck up- because thats how The Jake sim was just looking at your ass-” You almost choke on your water, making her and Gigi laugh

You look down at the table to hide your blush “Well, you guys also didnt tell me there was a theme at the game.” You say, crossing your arms

“Okay when was the last time you checked the group chat y/n” Gigi asks, you pull out your phone

“This morning..” You say scrolling through the message thread

Lyla: Okay so what are we wearing tn

Gigi: Themes cowboy right?

Gigi: You know how much my mom and dad LOVE that costume shit

Gigi: I have so much stuff for it at my house

Lyla: Wow gigi inviting us over

Gigi: I can take u guys home after school

Lyla: YES

Lyla: We have to look GOOD, especially you y/n

Lyla: For you know

Gigi: Jake

Lyla: Okay shes probs not even on her phone

You swipe out, just to see if your mom said anything, you click on the messages to see a sunset picture and city buildings, typical.

“So, can you come?” Lyla asks

“Yeah sure- but we don’t have to go all out right?”

They look at each other before looking at you, the smile on their faces tells you everything you need to know

୨♡୧

“This feels like a lot..” You say looking at your outfit in her bedroom mirror

“No y/n- you look like, hot.” Lyla says, choosing one of the 7 cowboy hats Gigi brought out

“This is the final touch” She says before putting it on your head

This is quite literally the opposite of you, completely. It’s something you would never wear if it weren't for them, you wonder what your old self before you transferred schools would think. From the white fitted shirt, to the jean skirt, down to the—cowboy boots..

You adjust the red bandana on your neck so its not choking you uncomfortably

Gigi watches your worried face “I promise the others will be doing 10x more than us.” She reassures you, you look at them in the mirror, Lyla's shorts that hug her curves, Gigi’s shirt that compliments her body perfectly.

This feels very..them. You can't help but feel like an outsider trying to fit in.

“Jake will love it” Lyla says, hiding her smirk

“What- Jake?” The thought of Jake seeing you in this makes you nervous..but also exited? What would he think, would he expect you to wear this?

You're pulled from your thoughts when the man himself sends you a message

Jake Sim: Hey y/n were gonna grab food after the game

Jake Sim: Wanna come?

Jake Sim: Lyla and Gigi can come to

Jake Sim: I already told Jay not to bitch abt it lol

Your fingers hover over the screen

"Quadruple text is crazy” Lyla says through a smile

Gigi peaks over your shoulder “I do not want to hang out with my brother for fun.” She says, rolling her eyes

“Come on Gi! The others will be there too and! Heeseung’s fine ass” Lyla says, looking in the mirror to adjust her push up bra

Gigi just puts on her boots with a shrug

“Y/n say yes please!” Lyla says, practically jumping up and down

“Fine- fine” 

You: Yeah sure.

“Um- Thats all?” Lyla asks 

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know, maybe say something like ‘I'm so excited!’ or ‘good luck!- you know what just give me the phone.” Lyla says snatching it from your hand and sending a message

You: Good luck Jakey! I'll be cheering you on! ;)

“What the hell- is there a way to delete this, how do I-” 

“Really Ly? He’s gonna know thats not y/n, she like never uses emojis” Gigi says cringing 

“Maybe if he wins he'll give you good dick?” Lyla says shrugging 

Your face goes red, this topic, talking about him-

Jake Sim: Haha thanks y/n :) 

“See, completely normal!” Lylas practically beaming

“Yeah so that definitely wasn't her” Jake says putting on his cleats

“Jakey? Really?” Sunghoon mimicks 

“I wouldn’t doubt if Lyla took her phone honestly.” Jay mutters

“Lyla's coming right?” Heeseung asks, putting on his jersey

His friends look at him “Why?”

“I mean shes hot as fuck dude, plus she totally looks at me all the time” He adds, fixing his hair in the locker mirror

“Yeah she's coming” Jake says, looking back down at the messages

୨♡୧

When you, Gigi, and Lyla get to the game a little earlier, they were not joking about people going all out. Compared to everyone else, your outfit was tame to say the least.

You three find a spot in the bleachers, your eyes scanning the field for one specific person.

You watch him, he’s drinking water on the side right now- his helmet is in his other hand, how can someone look so good drinking water.

You watch as Heeseung nudges Jake's shoulder beside him, and then Jake's eyes are on you

“Holy fuck” He says to Heeseung

You cant see what they’re saying 

“I mean she looks like a cowboys wet dream” Heeseung says, smirking

Jake gives him a pointed look, before turning back to you, the distance is good enough for him to see the way your skirt clings to your legs, and how good that shirt looks on you, Fuck. 

He waves at you, you look behind to see if it was someone else but there's no one behind you yet, you turn back to see him smiling at you before offering a small wave back

Lyla and Gigi are both watching from beside you, eyes flicking between you and Jake

You watch as Heeseung yells at him, and as he puts his helmet on before running over to him, a smile that wont go away ever since he saw you plastered on his face

“You sure you're not just doing this for the love of the game” Heeseung says, putting in his mouth guard 

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A statement that might be right. Because this doesn't feel like some childish bet anymore.

The first half of them game goes well, you dont really understand much. But from the way Lyla, Gigi, and the rest of the students are cheering, thats definitely a good sign. “Im going to get water, do you guys want any?” you say, stepping off the bleachers 

“Yeah- soda?” Lyla says, before looking back at the field where a very sweaty heeseung is spraying water in his mouth

You nod before walking to the concessions, the line isn't too bad, so you just pull out your phone to scroll, when two girls come behind you, you wouldn't care normally but its what they're talking about that makes your hand pause over your screen

“I mean he hasn't even looked at me this whole time, which is crazy because not even a month ago he had me sucking his dick!” One of the girls says, you look down to see pink cowboy boots

“His very big dick” Her friend says

“Ridiculously big. Fuck I miss it im not gonna lie.” 

“Isn’t he fucking with a new girl now though?” You hear her friend say, you watch as the person in front of you takes way too long to order

“Yeah some nerd ass bitch, teachers pet apparently” 

“I don't know Clara, she's like hella smart” 

You shut your eyes for a second, Clara, you recognize that name. That's the same girl who yelled at Jake in the cafeteria that one time

“I don't care how smart she is, that's literally my man” 

“Girl- he literally dropped your ass in front of the whole cafeteria..”

Your attention is brought back when it's your turn to order, you pay for the drinks before going back, doing your best to avoid turning around.

“Y/n?” Lyla says, when you hand her the sprite

“You look like you've seen a ghost, are you good?” Gigi asks, concern laced in her tone

“Yeah im good” You say offering a tight smile, the bandana on your neck suddenly feeling too tight.

It feels like someone has their hand around your heart, squeezing it, because why did hearing those things make you feel this way– Why is Jake even talking to you? Why did he even invite you in the first place?

You watch as the starting players go back on the field, but your mind can't focus when all these questions are flooding in. What does someone like him even want with you.

୨♡୧

You look down at your phone 

Jake Sim: Hey me and the guys will be out in 5 mins

You read the message, before putting your phone in the pocket of your skirt, people are still hanging around, the players usually shower after a game apparently.

Exactly 5 minutes later Jake comes out, jeans, and a black zip up hoodie with a white shirt underneath, his bag is on his shoulder, his hair is still wet from the shower, and you cant help the heat that goes to your face when he waves to you.

You look past him to see the rest of his friends coming out behind him, you see Heeseung whisper something in Jake's ear that makes him roll his eyes.

“Good job- you were great out there” You say, fixing the cowboy hat on your head

“I had good motivation” He says, eyes on your face before they drift to your clothes, finally seeing you up close like this.

“Alright can we go now? Im hungry as fuck.” Jay says, interrupting the moment

You turn to Lyla, who's talking to Heeseung, then to Gigi who shrugs

“Y/n, I can drive us” Jake says, bringing your attention back to him

“Oh its fine I dont-”

“That's a great Idea!” Lyla says a little too loud, making everyone's eyes go to her 

“Theres not enough room in Gigi's car for all of us anyway, so it works out” She adds, calculating smile plastered on her face, she ignores the pointed look you give her

“Alright yeah whatever can we just go now before I die of starvation” Jay says, making Gigi roll her eyes “fat ass.” She mutters before walking to her car

“You did not just call me a fat ass Gi- Weren’t you the one who ate all the fucking leftovers-” You and Jake watch them walk to the car, before you and him walk to his.

You curse Lyla for leaving you with him like this- when he smells so good and his hair is wet, and his hands-

“You look really pretty,” He says, putting his bag in the trunk before opening the passenger door for you. “Thank you-” You reply back quietly, trying to ignore the way your heart hammers in your chest.

But how many other girls has he said that too- that girl Clara? 

He gets in the Drivers seat, and starts the car, watching the way you look out the window. Immediately noticing the way you shift

“So, for the first football game you went to, how was it?” he says pulling out of the parking lot

You turn slightly to look at him, the way his face concentrates on the rode, but also managing to talk to you “It was fun” You smile before looking back out the window

“Did you get anything from the concessions? I heard they added slushies and stuff.” He says, tapping his finger on the steering wheel, trying to seem unbothered by the way your energy shifted the second you stepped foot in his car

The mention of drinks has your mind going back to the conversation you heard earlier, what if those girls had knew you where the one they were talking about–

“Yeah just some, um..water and stuff” You say, trying to avoid the way his eyes are pinned on your head

4 minutes of silence pass, except for the low music playing from the speakers, and the car's engine.

“Is everything good?” He asks, eyes flicking between you and the road ahead

“What– yeah of course, why wouldn't it be.” You say quickly, fingers toying with the hem of your jean skirt.

He doesn't buy it.

Your brows furrow in confusion when he pulls over, looking at him as he puts the car and park “What are you doing-”

“Tell me what's wrong” he says, hand still on the steering wheel, but eyes on you

“Nothing's wrong?” You feel that familiar heaviness on your chest

“Y/n. you can't even look at me, did I do something?” He asks, knuckles white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel

“You can tell me whatever it is-”

“Why do you talk to me?” You ask, finally looking at him

“I..I just don't understand– all the sudden it goes from you not even looking at me, and then you're asking to be tutored by me, and then you invite me to your game, and then im in your car-” you continue, your heart beat rising with how much words you're saying in one breath. He doesn't interrupt you.

“And I really didn't think you needed to be tutored, honestly, you're one of the top students in our class- no, in our grade. But I did anyway, it honestly just feels like you pity me. Because why would someone like you want to be friends with someone like me– It just doesn't make any sense.” You stop, breathing in heavy breathes, too aware of how close he is right now, how he's looking at you.

“I don't pity you y/n. I like spending time with you.” He says, watching your face

“Fuck- I mean, I took the flyer and the tutoring because I wanted to spend that time with you- whenever I tried to talk to you any other way you just– blew me off?” He says, contemplating his words

He looks down at his hands before back up at you, noticing the way your features slightly soften

He lifts his hand to take the hat off your head, so he can fully see your face

“Why would someone like me want to be friends with you?” He repeats your question, you didn't realise how close you two got, faces nearly an inch away from each other

“I don't want to be friends y/n. I want more than that–I fucking crave more than that” His gaze drops to your lips, a silent question

“Jake-” You whisper out before he presses his lips to yours,you instantly melt at the contact, your hand finds the collar of his shirt, attempting to tug him closer over the center console, his hand holds the back of your head, threading his finger in your hair, he moves his lips against yours, slowly, testing, you follow his lead, letting go instead of taking control. He feels the way you let him, unable to hold the small groan that travels its way to your mouth through the kiss.

You pull back, breathing hard, opening your eyes to look at him, his lips have a slight shine from your saliva, he licks them before looking into your eyes.

You don't know what you're doing, you've never even done anything like this before, but the way he’s looking at you, like you absolutely wrecked him gives you a new found confidence.

You sit up, before moving to get over the center console, he just watches you as you settle on his lap, his hands immediately resting on your waist “y/n-”

“just kiss me” You say, and he doesnt hesitate before pressing his lips against yours, this time its lessed controlled, he doesnt hold himself back.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, his hands are touching everywhere, sliding up and down your back, before cupping your ass in his hands making you gasp into his mouth, he swallows that down, tongue running over your bottom lip.

You feel the heat pooling between your legs, shifting slightly, which makes him let out a broken sound before looking down, the way your skirt is riding up, how you’re sitting right on his hardening cock, he looks back at your face, kissing the corner of your mouth before he pulls you on him more, the friction making you let out a quiet sound– he needs to fucking hear it again, and you need to feel it again. 

It starts off slow, testing, in the way you roll your hips on him, you watch him throw his head back “Fuck, baby-” You grind down a little harder, in response to the name, he rolls his hips with you, the seam of his jeans catching your clit just right through your underwear, enough to make you let out small sounds that has his eyes rolling

He leans in to kiss you again, hands splayed on your ass to pull you impossibly closer, the kiss is desperate, frantic, tongues moving together in a rhythm like you were made for each other, there's no leader, no follower, this is just- the two of you.

“J-jake–” you let out, biting your lip when he grinds up, hitting the perfect spot, hes pulling you against him, controlling the way your hips move, fingers digging into the soft flesh through your skirt, He slides his hand underneath the denim fabric, to really feel you, groaning into your mouth at how warm and soft you are in his hands.

“You’re going to kill me-” You both freeze when a loud ringtone comes from his phone.

“Shit- I forgot about the plans” he says, looking at his phone 

Jay: Dude where the hell are you

Jay: Im srsly abt to order with out you

Sunghoon: we got u and y/n waters

Jay: -Missed call-

“We should probably-”

“Yeah”

The warmth of your body is removed like a flash when you sit back down in the passenger seat, fixing your skirt, he tries to ignore the way his dick is throbbing in his jeans right now. Instead he watches you, the flush on your cheeks, the small smile that's barely noticeable

“What?” You say through a chuckle, noticing his stare

“Im just really lucky” He says, before putting the car into drive and getting back on the road, even when you two get out of the car, walking into the restaurant, you’re still thinking about what he said.

Because no one has ever told you they were lucky to have you.

୨♡୧

The next week of school is fun, and easy. You still decide to tutor Jake, because he said it really helped him.

Even if it did lead to small kisses, you definitely weren't complaining. People still look at you two when you walk together in the hallway, he even invited you to sit with him in the caferitria with his friendgroup, they are actually really nice to you.

The best part is seeing Gigi and Jay argue, it's like having your own show to watch while you eat

You don't miss the way Heeseung and Lyla look at each other, or when coincidentally the both of them are late for lunch.

Under the table, Jake's hand is splayed across your thigh, everytime he laughs he squeezes it slightly, which makes you try and close them, but he notices. He notices everything when it comes to you.

“..And not to mention Gigi’s parents bought the good ice cream” Lyla says, practically about to burst from excitement

“Okay so it's like a pool party then?” Sunghoon says, raising his eyebrow

“Well, just like with us though.” Gigi says

“Im not trying to have half the school trash the house, especially when mom and dad get back tomorrow.” She adds, you watch Jay nod

“Im in” Heeseung says, turning to watch Lyla “Perfect! What about you and Jake?” She says turning to you both

“Yeah im down” he smiles before looking at you

“Um- Ill have to check, but ill text you when I get home” You say, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear

“Okay, perfect!” She squeals

“Just come over any time after school then” Jay says

You nod before glancing down at your phone, re reading the message from your mom

Mom: Me and Chris decided to stay a little longer, you have enough money for food still right?

Jake watches you “Are you okay?” he says, quietly so no one else can hear

“Oh yeah- im fine” You say, putting your phone down and smiling

୨♡୧

“I can't do this.” You say as soon as you close Gigi’s bedroom door behind you

They both look at you as you pull out the bathing suit from your tote bag, you watch Gigi cover her mouth to stifle a laugh

“You can’t be serious” Lyla says, standing up to take the middle school one piece swimsuit from your hands

“This thing is hideous” She holds it up in the air

“Im not one to judge but you absolutely cannot wear that y/n” Gigi says, standing up to look at it closer

You bury your face in your hands, sitting down on her bed

“I brought like 5 different bathing suits, plus Gigi has a shit ton, and you are most definitely borrowing one.” Lyla says, emptying her bag on the bed, you glance at the small strings, and shapes before looking up at her 

“What? I wanted to bring my slutty ones, I thought Heeseung would like them” She says smiling proudly

“And im sure jake will” She adds, wiggling her eyebrows

“You’re so ridiculous Ly” Gigi mutters before tying her hair in a bun

You pick up a red triangle bikini top, and Lyla nods

“Good choice, these are the bottoms” She says, holding them up

“These are bottoms? Like swimming bottoms?” you say, taking them from her hand 

“Yup! Just try it on at least” She smiles sweetly, waiting for your approval, you nod

“Come downstairs when you’re done okay?” Gigi says, opening her bedroom door.

You look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, The bathing suit fits well, it's just..small. Like if you make one wrong move you'll definitely flash someone. You turn around to see how it looks from the back, not completely terrible- just a bit cheeky?

You think Jake might like it, not to mention the fact that you chose the red one because he mentioned he liked that color.

You pause when you hear the sound of male voices, they must be here. You take one last look at yourself before opening the door and almost getting knocked to your ass when you collide with something hard

“Shit- y/n?” You look up, Jake–Your eyes take in his form, the swim trunks, the white tank top perfectly stretched across his chest. His hair, messy, yet perfectly styled, before looking at his face. He’s smiling down at you

You're suddenly aware that you're practically half naked in front of him, You weren't even planning on going in the water, except for your feet–you need to grab your shorts and put them on “I was just uh, I just need my shorts–” 

His hand trails down your shoulder, grabbing your hand before placing it on his chest, over his heart, you feel the fast beats of it, almost in sync with how quick yours is "You're making me nervous” he whispers, he takes a step forward so he's in the bathroom with you, shutting the door behind him softly

He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, testing to see your reaction before he pulls back to look down at you, you put your hands on his shoulders before leaning to kiss him again, he reacts immediately, hands on you the second you touch him, his hand starts at your waist before moving down to cup your ass in his hand, you gasp at the feeling, he kneads the flesh in his hands, squeezing it while kissing you deeper “You look so fucking good baby” He says through heavy breaths, looking at your face

He moves until your pressed against the counter, before lifting you up on it, your legs spread slightly to make room for him, while keeping your lips on his.

The kiss is messy, desperate, his hands are on your hips, and you let out a muffled sound when he presses his hips against you, you feel it, the hardness of him against your thigh, you pull back to see the desperate look on his face, the way his cheeks are slightly red, his lips looking even more plump from your kisses

He takes his right hand from your waist, splaying it on your thigh, before he looks into your eyes, you nod.

You watch his hand inch higher, grazing your inner thigh, his finger tip brushes your core, making you shiver at the contact, he watches you intently before pressing his fingers against you, making you let out a shaken breath

Leaning in to brush his lips across your jaw, before slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of the bathing suit bottoms, finally feeling your warmth “Fuck, you’re so wet–” He says, looking down before kissing your neck, softly, reassuringly 

He starts with small circles around your clit, testing to see what makes you feel good, your legs spread wider when he does small figure eights on your clit, hands braced on his shoulders as he presses open mouthed kisses to your neck, trailing up to your ear

His middle finger brushes your entrance, lightly, while his other hand comes up to move the hair out of your face

“Have you ever been fingered y/n?” He asks, voice low, watching the way your chest falls and rises, you shake your head “Do you want to be?” He says, biting his lip “Y-yes, I want you to, Jake” He presses his hard cock against your thigh, groaning at the permission

He connects his lips to yours, you let him in instantly, tongues dancing together before he slowly guides his finger in your entrance, “breathe baby, you're so tight” he whispers against your lips, you close your eyes when his finger goes deeper, making you let out a quiet moan, his single digit stays there, embraced by your warmth before he curls it slightly making you whimper in his mouth “Jake– “ you let out through a wispy breathe

He moves his thumb to circle around your clit, in lazy motions “can you take another, baby? It’ll feel even better” kissing your cheek softly, you nod and he pulls out his finger, before inserting two digits, making you let out a desperate sound at the stretch.

He kisses you, in attempt to quiet you down, before moving his fingers in and out of you, curling inside, rubbing your clit with practiced ease

Seeing you like this, overhwemled by the pleasure he’s bringing you could make him come right now.

“You’re so perfect baby- this pretty pussy’s taking my fingers so well” He whispers, the filthy things making you clench around his fingers, he adds more pressure to your sensitive bud, “j-jake im gonna-“

“You gonna come for me baby?” slightly picking up the pace his fingers are moving, fucking them in and out of you.

Your moans are only getting louder, he move his other hand to cover your mouth, muffling them so the others don't hear down stairs, he feels your hole fluttering around your fingers, so he moves them even faster, making it his life fucking goal to have you come from this

His eyes dont know what to focus on, switching from the way your tits slightly bounce, to the way his fingers disappear inside you, or to the way you’re looking at him, the dazed half lidded look, he presses against your clit just right, making you clench hard on his fingers as you ride your orgasm out, moaning into his hand, your juices coating his fingers and dripping out, he brings his hand back down from your mouth, watching the way your breathing slows, before pulling out his fingers, the loss of contact making you whimper with how sensitive you are

He brings his fingers up to his lips, locking eyes with you before putting them in his mouth, sucking your arousal off, the sight makes you let out a breathy sound, you can feel your pussy throbbing at the sight from exitement

You’re blushing from the filthy act, he brings his lips to yours capturing you in a kiss, you can slightly taste your arousal on his tounge “You’re so beautiful–” you both freeze when a knock on the bathroom door slices the moment in half

“Jake are you in there man? We’re trying to choose pizza toppings– the girls said they dont care whats on the pizza, they just went outside claming they didnt want to ‘waste tanning time’ I dont know-” jay rambles on

“Yeah im in here, ill be down in a sec” Jake says, forehead resting on yours before he pulls back

“Alright- and if you find y/n tell her to come down too” Jay adds

You and Jake listen to the sound of retreating footsteps

“We should probably go down there” he says, pulling back and helping you get off the counter

“Yeah i just need to get some shorts-” You watch as he pulls your bottoms back up, adjusting them before leaning down to press one more kiss to your lips

“I’ll see you in a few minutes” He says with that familiar smirk on his lips, before walking out and shutting the door behind him, he leans against it for a second, still trying to process what just happened, before adjusting his extremely hard cock in his bottoms, and making his way downstairs.

You look in the mirror, pressing your fingers against your lips, the feeling of him kissing you lingering. Your body is still burning from the aftermath of your orgasm. You fix your hair in the mirror, going back to Gigi’s room to put on your shorts

And finally making your way down the stairs, you pause halfway when you hear Heeseung's voice

“Who y/n?” You hear him say

“Who else dumbass?” Sunghoon replies

They're talking about you. instead of going downstairs you stay there, just to see what they're saying

“Have you told her?” Jay asks

“No–I can’t fucking tell her that”

“Yeah you’re cooked” heeseung says flatly

Cooked?

“I really like her, And not in some casual hook up way okay? I don’t know whats going on, and im confused because ive never felt this way before about someone–” Jake says, breathing hard

“Shit-” You hear his friends say

“I dont give a fuck about some dumb bet, it was stupid of me–”

Your heart drops. Bet? What does he mean by that? 

“God- Why couldn't you just go after her like a normal person” jay says frustratingly

“You realise she’s gonna fucking hate you if you dont tell her” he adds

You walk further down the stairs, watching the way all four of them look at you

“W-what bet” You let out, hating yourself for stuttering

Jake's face drops in realization that you heard that, you don't even look at his friends, the ones who made you think they actually liked you. You just watch him. It was all just some play– 

“What bet Jake?” you say again, trying to calm your heartbeat, as he walks over to you, reaching for your hand

You swat his hand away “dont fucking touch me” and he flinches at that, hardly visibly. But he does. 

“Y/n-” He starts, you watch as the back porch door slides open, Gigi and Lyla walking in, with confused looks at the way everyone’s frozen in place, before their gazes fall on you

“Im going home. I- I can't do this” You say, suddenly too aware of how everyone is looking at you, unable to even look in Jake's eyes, you turn around for the front door, Jake calls your name again but you don't hear it.

Not over the sound of your heart, not over the ringing in your ears.

You can't speak when it feels like someone has a wire around your throat and you can't breathe.

You shut the front door behind you, sitting on the stairs immediately, trying to calm yourself, trying not to cry. You can't cry. Not here.

You don't look behind you when you hear the door open and shut, please don't be Jake.

“Y/n do you want me to drive you home?” you let out a relieved sigh when you hear Gigi’s voice, before standing up and nodding.

Gigi knows you, she knows you don't want to talk right now, so instead of pushing you, she turns up the music, looking at you every now and then as you stare out the window.

“You all can eat shit” Lyla says looking at the four boys in the kitchen 

“Espeicially you Heeseung, for not fucking saying anything.” She says before looking at Jake

“Ly-” Heeseung starts watching Lyla walk over to Jake

“How could you do that to her? You’re fucking terrible.” She says before storming upstairs, leaving the four of them

“I need to do something- I need to call her” Jake says pulling out his phone, Jay stop his hand

“She needs space Jake.” He says, watching him as he lowers his phone

“Fuck.” Is all he says, because Fuck himself for being so stupid, fuck him for hurting you, fuck him for not telling you sooner, if anything he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

But the least he can do is try.

୨♡୧

You cried as soon as you got home. You held it until Gigi drove off, she offered to stay but you never have people actually come inside.

Part of you regretted it, because you wish you had someone to hold you, even as you crumbled to the floor as soon as you shut the front door.

But you have no one. Not even you’re own mother, whose out with her new boyfriend, living her best life and leaving you in the past, like always.

Later that night you try and rememebr anything—how could you not see through it, of course it was some bet. He didnt mean anything he said to you, and you were stupid to think the most popular guy in the school wanted to ‘spend time with you’

Even as you shower, the memory of his hands on you not even 24 hours ago is still jarred in your mind, the reassuring touches, the praise.. But it was all just fake.

You couldnt sleep. For good reason. Every time you tried to close your eyes, your mind kept going back, trying to over analyze the situation, trying to think of an excuse.

It was 12:49 when you got the message

Jake sim: Y/n, im so sorry

Jake sim: Don’t shut me out

Jake sim: Please

Jake sim: Baby

Your press your hand to your chest, like it would stop the painful feeling in your heart.

You never answered him. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you finally fell asleep, you didn’t bother checking the time you did, because you knew you would just pity yourself.

୨♡୧

On Monday, you’re not the first one in class. Jake was. He sat in his seat next to yours, eyes flicking from your desk to the door, waiting for you to come in.

As soon as you walk in, he sits up straight, watching you walk, not towards the seat next to him but to some random one in the second row, where the guy who never shows up would sit.

He watches you take your stuff out of your bag, he looks down at the way your leg bounces, he hates himself because he knows he’s the reason you’re so fucking anxious right now.

The teacher talks like its any other day. Of course she would, she’s not going to stop the school day because he fucked up. When the bell rings you’re the first one out, he goes to call your name but stops when you rush out of the door.

“I almost beat Jay’s ass, like actually.” Gigi says before taking a bite of the cafeteria sandwhich

“Mom and dad nearly crashed out when they came home and saw I already was pulling his hair” She adds

“Can he stop fucking staring already” Lyla says, looking at you then at the table 3 rows behind where Jake was looking right at you

“Im going over there” Jake says to his friends

“Uh no dude- you’re fucking not” Sunghoon says, tugging him back down by his shoulder

Jake shrugs him off before getting up to walk over to you, ignoring the exaggerated sighs from his table

“Oh shit” Gigi mutters

“He’s like actively walking over here y/n” Lyla adds

You turn your head slightly to see him walking towards you, before standing up

“Im going to the bathroom.” You say, grabbing your bag and moving towards the door

Jakes steps falter when he watches you get up, he wants to yell at you, tell you to stop walking away from him so bad. But he knows that would make it worse. He doesn’t look at Lyla and Gigi before turning around and going back to his table.

His friends are silent when he sits down, the usual snickers, or comments don’t come.

You set your bag down by the sink, bracing your hands on it, looking in the mirror, “don’t cry, don’t cry” you whisper to yourself

“I mean I don’t get whats so fucking special about her, shes just like normal-“ You pause when you see two girls walk in, blonde, Clara.

“Well look who it is” She says walking further in, her friend beside her

“Jakes little slut” She coos, looking you up and down judgementally

“Im not-“ You start but she cuts you off

“I want you to stop talking to him.” she says, crossing her arms over her chest

“Clara-“ her friend starts

“No, this bitch needs to fuck off my man”

“You can have him.” You say, voice low

They look at each other confused

“I said you can have him.” you say, louder

“Just leave me alone.” you mutter, putting your bag over your shoulder

“The fuck-“ she starts when you walk past her before pulling you by your bag strap

She pulls your bag off your shoulder, making it fall to the ground with a thud, you don’t turn around.

You wait for the hit. Because you’re used to this, You close your eyes, tight. Trying to block off everything, when you hear Lyla

“What the fuck are you doing Clara?!” She yells, Gigi following in beside you

“Just teaching this bitch a lesson to not mess with my man-“

“Your man?” Gigi says with a scoff

“You need a fucking reality check because he does not want your ass” She adds, picking your bag up from the floor

Lyla comes infront of you “Y/n are you okay?” you nod, not because you’re okay, but because you have to be.

You block out the sound of them arguing, taking your bag from Gigi before walking out. Of course this would happen to you, and of course you’re running away.

୨♡୧

You dont talk about what happened the next day, they dont bring it up either.

They were laughing at something on Lylas phone when you got a text

Jake Sim: Are we still on for tutoring?

Jake Sim: In the library right?

You look back for a split second, over your shoulder to see him looking at you, his phone in his hand, you turn back around almost immediately, typing out a response, deleting it and typing it again

You: -Sent contact-

You: If you need tutoring so bad, he does Tuesdays too. Stop texting me.

You shut off your phone, putting it in your pocket, he watches.

Its like everything around him is silent. He cant fucking focus, coach even gave him shit for not doing good at practice yesterday. He tries to act normal, but the affect you have on him isn’t something that can go away.

“Earth to Jake” Heeseung snaps in his face to get his attention

“Motherfucker thinks he’s Jeff buckley” Sunghoon says through a snort

“Brought it on himself” Jay shrugs

“I need to get drunk” Jake says, running his hands through his hair, something hes been doing often lately

“And laid” Heeseung adds

“I can’t think about fucking another girl right now” He says, checking his phone again in hopes you sent a message

“I mean I heard Jungwon’s throwing a party after the game on Friday” Jay says, looking at the group

“Who’s going?” Jake asks

“Shit—if its Jungwon then probably half the school” Heeseung says, rubbing his jaw

“You know what, why not. The alcohol better not be shit” Jake says, making them laugh

୨♡୧

“Please y/n! We can come pick you up and everything, I know you’re not going to be doing anything either” Lyla says through the speakers of your phone

“Yeah, Fuck him, you deserve to go out, for once?” Gigi adds

“We know you’re not all that party type but just this once! Plus Jungwons house is nice as hell”

“I don’t know guys—What if he’s there?” you say worried, unlocking the front door to your house and shutting it behind you

“If he was going, Jay would have said something. I know they have a game tonight so I doubt they’re gonna wanna go to a party.” Gigi says, opening a bag of chips

“Okay but what am I supposed to wear?”

“Do you wanna get laid?” Lyla asks

“What—no”

“Im just kidding, wear that one black skirt I let you borrow and those low rise jeans”

“I never even wore it though-“

“Exactly why its perfect! Well come get you at 10, love you bye!” Layla says quickly before hanging up

You listen for Gigi, but all you hear is the faint sound of her arguing, presumably with Jay, before you hang up and set your phone on the counter.

You dont go to parties, ever. But here you are stepping out of your comfort zone, maybe its good that you’re. Maybe you need a change.

୨♡୧

“Oh hell no.” Gigi says once you all walk into the house, it's almost as big as hers, but you're not paying close attention to it because right now. instead you're watching Jake take down a shot in the kitchen. 

It smells like cheap alcohol and sweat. The place is packed, you take your eyes off him and look around, you recognize faces you've seen around campus, and some you haven't

You watch as Gigi storms over to the kitchen to Jay “What the fuck are you doing here?” She asks Jay who looks at her like she has 2 heads “What am I doing here? Jungwon is my friend” He says back, you and Lyla walk over to the kitchen, following her. 

You don't look at him. You can't look at him, but you can feel his eyes on you.

“I’ll tell mom and dad you ass-” Gigi starts

“Oh but that means they'll know you were here too” He says, faking a pout

“Shit” She replies, looking at you and Lyla

“Fine, truce.” She says, grabbing 3 red cups

You watch Jay hold out his hand, but she swats it away rolling her eyes before pouring whatever is in the bottles on the counter into the cups

“Drinks?” She says, handing you and Lyla the cups

“Please and Thank you, I need to find a hot guy to make out with” Lyla says taking the cup

“Im right here babe” Heeseung smirks, stepping closer to her

“Literally anyone but you” She says, walking away from the kitchen, you watch as he follows her

You hesitate a beat before taking the cup from her hand, Jake doesnt miss the way your eyes flick over to him for a split second

“Y/n can we-” He starts before a familiar obnoxious voice flows in the kitchen, Clara.

You watch as she walks in the kitchen, wearing practically nothing before she comes to his side, wrapping her arm around his. 

“I think you have your hands full Jake.” You say before walking over to the living room with Gigi

“Get the fuck off me Clara” He says, moving his arm

Sunghoon and Jay both look at him with annoyed expressions on their faces

“Why Jakey? She said I can have you” Clara says, words slurred from the amount of alcohol she's consumed

“What?” He pushes her back, not to hurt, but enough for her to get off of him

He walks over to Gigi, glancing at Lyla and Heeseung who are practically eating each others faces on the other couch “Wheres y/n” He says, tone serious in a way that has Gigi sitting up

“Why-”

“Tell me where she is Gi, im not fucking around.” he says, watching Gigi point to the back porch

You turn around when you hear the door behind you open, leaning against the railing 

“What are you-”

“Y/n- Fuck, please let me talk okay?” He says closing the door, the music and talking inside becoming a sound in the distance

“Jake, I can't right now” You say, looking down at your shoes as he walks over

“Please” His voice comes out slightly whiner than intended

“Baby, please look at me” He pleads, his composure gone. He’s done acting like he's okay with you avoiding him

You shake your head

He lets out a defeated sigh, you think he's going to walk away, give up.

You watch him lower himself to the ground getting on his knees just so you will look at him instead of the ground

“Y/n please listen to me” He looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowed together, his pupils are blown. He can’t believe hes actually fucking doing this.

When you don't say anything, the words spill out faster than he can catch up

“Im so sorry baby– Im an asshole and I hate myself for what I did, I should have just told you from the beginning about the bet-” he cringes at the word “-It was selfish of me and I understand why you don't even want to look at me, let alone talk to me.-“

“-But I like you, so fucking much, Ive never felt like this before, but you changed that for me. You’re smart, you’re fucking gorgeous, you’re too kind for your own good, and I want you so bad, I want you so fucking bad my chest hurts at the thought of not having you. Everything I said in the car that night was true. I like spending time with you and I don't want to be friends, because what I feel for you isn't friendship–” He stops, trying to catch his breath, looking up at you, searching your face for any reaction, any response

Your hand is shaking when it comes up to his face, slightly brushing his hair out of the way “I..” You close your eyes before opening them again, “I really like you too Jake. But you hurt me, I let you in and it feels like it was all just some trick.” You say, trying to hold the tears threatening to fall from your eyes

“No baby–It wasn't a trick, please, everything I said to you I meant it–” He leans forward resting his head on your stomach before looking back up at you

“Every touch, I meant it.” His hand comes up to hold your waist, before he stands up, looking down at you, placing his finger under your chin, before running his thumb along your bottom lip “Every word” His other hand pulls you closer to him “Every kiss.” He whispers, leaning down, lips grazing over yours “I meant it all.”

You're breathing against his mouth, hearts beating the same rapid pace “And I want it all–so bad, I want all of you y/n, I don't want you to hide from me, I don't want you to run” He says, cupping your face in his hands, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours

“Please-”

“I want it too Jake” You whisper

His eyes fly open, searching yours, before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, taking you slightly by shock with how desperate it is, his left hand slides from your face down to your waist, holding you close, like you would slip away if he let go.

He pulls back, just to see the look on your face, a single string of saliva keeping you two connected before he kisses your neck, whispering small “im sorrys” as he trails his lips along your jaw, making you let out breathy sounds that have him weak.

He captures your lips in a kiss again, tongue exploring your mouth in the way he’s been dreaming about ever since you started avoiding him.

He feels his cock hardening, he remembers the way he fucked his fist at the thought of having you like this again.

“Fuck–” He breathes out, before biting your lip lightly, making you let out a small whimper. “I.. I need you baby, please” He says, bringing his hand down to softly caress your ass in your jeans, you bring your hand up to pull him closer by the collar of his shirt to kiss him again before he pulls back “Not here.” He whispers, voice low, looking into your eyes with such intensity it has your knees weak. 

With the way you're looking at him right now, he wants to do it now.

But he’s not having sex with you at some dumbass house party. He can't help the smirk on his face when you whine as he pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you back inside, you don't look at anyone except him, as he guides you through the crowd, his hand clasping tight in yours, until you reach his car.

“What street do you live on?” He asks, looking at you, before pulling out onto the road, you hesitate, he notices “Y/n, no hiding” He says, putting his hand on your thigh. “167 EN drive” you reply back quietly, part of you hoping he wouldn't hear. But you remind yourself of the words he said earlier, he wants all of you, he said he craves it. So that’s what he'll get.

You watch his face as he pulls in your drive way, looking at your house. You don't see the look of hesitance, or disappointment you were expecting.

Your anxiety boils down when he steps out of the car, and comes to your side to open your door for you. “You’re not disappointed or anything?” You ask, voice slightly shaky 

“Dissapointed?” He asks, genuinely confused

“I mean, my mom just doesn't make a lot– I know its not a good area to live in either-”

“Y/n, do you think I'd judge you for something as small as where you live?” He asks, shutting the passenger side door

“I just thought-” 

“No. I’d be a fool to think like that. Nothing you do could make me judge you, the idea of doing that in the first place disgusts me.” He says, hand rising to brush his thumb on the side of your face, waiting for you to invite him in. He wants you to, he wants the reassurance that you trust him. 

You walk to the front door, grabbing the key hidden under the mat before unlocking it, and stepping inside. You cringe at the slightly peeled paint on the walls, but also thankful that having the house to yourself means it's actually clean for once. He shuts the door behind him, watching the way you look around, the insecurity showing in your body language. He turns you around to face him, pulling you close before tilting your face up. 

You look between his eyes and his lips before leaning up slightly, your lips grazing over his, before he speaks “tell me how bad you want this, tell me you want it as much as I do” He whispers, even though no one can hear him but you.

“I want it Jake– I want it so bad, I just want you..” you breathe out, and he closes the small space instantly, the feeling of your heart beating, the thrill of his lips on yours will never get old.

He lets you guide him to your room, before shutting the door behind him, he pulls back looking down at you. The needy look on your face as you try to catch your breath.

The room is dimly lit, the moon is bright from the clear sky, illuminating you, allowing him to see every emotion that flashes across your face.

He steps closer to you, hand coming to your waist, his thumb making small circles near the hem. You nod, and he slowly lifts your shirt above your head, eyes dropping to your chest, he can't help himself when his hand comes up to cup your tit in his hand, kneading the soft flesh through your bra. “Youre so beautiful” He says, guiding you until you land on your bed, He follows, on top of you in a second, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, it’s careful, timeless.

You kiss him back, lips desperately grasping onto each other as his hand trails down your stomach to the waistband of your jeans, your breath hitches, he pauses looking down at you “can I take these off?” He asks, “y-yes” you manage to let out, not sure how you can even get out words when he has you like this.

He unbottons your jeans, sitting up to slide them down your legs, throwing them on the floor before looking at you, taking you in, trying to savor this in his memory.

He watches the way your legs close, stopping them with his hand "Don't hide from me.” He says, pushing them open, looking down at the way your underwear sticks to your pussy, biting his lip at the sight, you let out a soft whine at being exposed like this, because no one has ever seen you this way, this vulnerable.

He presses a kiss to your neck, “Have you thought about this before?” He asks, tongue flicking on a new found sensitive spot under your ear, you nod. He lets his hand trail down your body before cupping your clothed cunt in his hand, you let out a quiet moan at the contact.

“Did you touch yourself thinking about it?” He kisses the spot under your ear, pulling the honesty out of you.

Your mind goes back to that night he kissed you in the car, how you made yourself come on your fingers at the memory of his hands on you later that night– “yes.” You say, the honesty makes him smile against your neck

“Can you show me?” He whispers, sitting up again, watching the way you willingly trail your hand down your body, slipping your fingers inside the waistband of your panties to brush your soaking clit, closing your eyes.

You open them again when the bed shifts, watching Jake as he takes off his shirt tossing it on the floor beside your pants, before removing his own, you press harder on your clit when your eyes meet the bulge in his boxers, there's no way that's fitting in you. He watches your reaction, "I'll make sure you're ready for it baby” He says, palming himself. You slide your underwear off your legs, the fabric was making it hard to really touch yourself anyway.

Your hand slides back between your legs, circling your clit, the same way he did that time in the bathroom. “Fuck–” He hisses, squeezing his dick at the way your hand comes up to toy with your nipple through your bra.

You watch as he climbs back in between your legs, leaning down to kiss your lips, trailing down past your neck, leaving a trail of wet marks until his face is hardly an inch away from your pussy.

You move your hand to grip the sheets beneath you “Jake..” You watch as he looks up at you from in between your legs. He blows on your clit, watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing. He presses small kisses to your thigh, grazing over your sensitive bud with his plump lips. “You have no idea how bad I've wanted to do this” He says before pressing an open mouthed kiss to your soaking cunt, you let out a moan at the contact, hands flying up to touch his hair as he repeats the motion.

You didn't even know you could be this vocal, but with him, eating you out like a starved man, how could you not.

He flicks his tongue over your clit, practically drooling onto your pussy, before pressing soft kisses “Tastes so fucking good” He mumbles into you, the vibration making your hips buck, his hand come up to hold your stomach down, so you dont squirm as much.

You watch him, his eyes are closed, face expressing true pleasure, your juices coating the bottom half of his face.

He looks up at you, burying his nose in your pussy, letting the bridge of it pressure your throbbing clit before he sucks on it, mouth clasped around your pussy, flicking his tounge, swirling it, you tug his hair harder, but he doesnt care because this is just too fucking good.

“Oh my gosh-” You let out when his finger comes up to collect your juices seeping from your hole before inserting the single digit inside of you, the sound of your pussy squelching, and him groaning into you has your back arches off the bed when he curls his finger, his tongue flicking over your clit, before he adds another, you've never felt this good in your life, you watch him, the way his brows furrow in concentration as he brings the most pleasurable experience upon you. 

He fucks his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right, while his lips suck on your clit greedily, he looks up for a split second at the way your head is thrown back, before shoving his fingers deep, dick throbbing at the way you clench around them, taking your clit in is mouth, and sucking it, hard. You grip his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as you reach your orgasm, your whole body shaking “Jake!” You scream out through a moan as your juices coat his face, soaking the bed beneath you. He greedily licks, and slurps everything you let out, not letting anything go to waste, before looking up at you. He pulls his fingers out slowly, watching the way your body trembles.

You bite your lip as you watch him sit up again, your arousal coating his lips, he runs his tongue along them, savoring every drop. 

He slides his boxers off, his dick hitting his abdomen, thick, heavy, and a bead of pearly white pre-cum at the tip, you watch as he spreads it on his tip, stroking himself in his hand. “You wanna know something?” He asks, watching the way your eyes flick between his face and his cock.

You nod quickly, making him smirk. “Ive dreamt about this moment almost every night. I remember waking up–” He looks down at your bare cunt, continuing “To see that I fucking came in my sleep.” You can't help the small gasp that leaves your mouth at the confession, "That's not all.” He says, pulling you closer, unclasping your bra and tossing it on the ground.

You bite your lip as the crisp air that hits your nipples, his finger comes up to toy with the sensitive bud, looking at your reaction, the little gasps that leave your lips “I fucked my fist so many times–everytime I imagined it was your pussy” He whispers, leaning down, letting his lips graze over your nipple, making you let out a desperate sound

“I thought about how you’d react when I did this–” He says before sucking on your nipple, his hand toying with the other one between his fingers making you moan, uncontrolled, you feel the way his cock rubs against your inner thigh.

He sits up, guiding his cock to your entrance, coating his tip with your juices from your previous orgasm. He slides the tip in slowly, letting your pussy adjust to the size, groaning, “Baby, I need you to relax okay? Can you do that for me?” He asks, finger rubbing circles on your inner thigh “mhm” you breathe out, before closing your eyes, trying to make yourself less tense as he slides more of his length in you

“Fuck- youre so warm” He says, hand moving to your hips to steady himself before bottoming out, a wrecked sound leaving his lips at the way your pussy clenches around him.

He leans down, head resing beside yours before lifting to look at you “Im going to move now, can you take it?” he asks, voice strained, but gentle “Please–” You let out through a whimper, he brings his lips to yours before pulling out halfway and thrusting back into you, making you moan into his mouth at the stretch. His cock reaching places you couldn't even imagine with your fingers, the feeling of being so full is almost euphoric.

“It's like this pussy was made for me baby–you feel so good” He whispers, sliding out of you again, and then back in, hips moving in an agonizing slow rhythm that has you holding onto his biceps and panting desperately in his mouth.

“F-faster?” you manage to let out, making him chuckle lightly “You sure?” he asks, looking down at you and the way you nod frantically. His lips suck at your neck as he picks up his speed thrusting in and out of you, hips rolling, enjoying every sound you let out.

Your nails dig into his arms, your pussy squeezing around him “You close baby?” he asks, the moan you let out is enough for him to understand, “I wanna come in you while you come on my cock, please?” the begging tone in his voice making you let out desperate pleas, his mouth is back on yours, both of you completely lost in the pleasure of each other, moaning against each other's mouths before he thrusts into you, hard, your pussy clenches around him, grinding up and down as you ride your orgasm out, at the same time milking his cock, making him whimper against you, saying your name though it all.

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, before slowly inching his cock out, his cum spilling out of your pussy, you both wince at the sensitiveness, he pulls back looking down at you

“Where's your towels baby?” He asks, voice soft, you point towards the second drawer of your dresser, he grabs one coming back over to you, kneeling down to clean you up, you admire him, the focused look on his face, he looks up at you smiling “What?” He says through a chuckle

“You’re just really cute when you're focused” He climbs up till he's laid next to you, pulling himself closer to your warm embrace, resting his face on your chest, making you let out a giggle before he looks at you

“I want to be your boyfriend y/n” He says, emotion raw in his tone 

“W-what?” You're caught off guard by the question

“Can I be your boyfriend?” He asks, voice low, almost shy

“Please?” he adds

You smile, biting your lip “yes, you can” You whisper, he tilts his head to kiss you again, embracing your warmth, you pull back 

“You’re not going to get me flowers or anything?” You ask brow raising

“Oh, you just wait for tomorrow” He smiles against your lips

୨♡୧

Jake left your house that morning, kissing you goodbye, and saying to be ready by six at the latest, you were already dressed at 5. 

The second you hear a knock at the door you rush to get it, swinging it open, heart beating fast when you see him, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand, with a smile on his face

“Jake–They’re so pretty” You smile, taking them from his hand

“You’re prettier” He says, pressing a kiss to your lips before taking your hand and dragging you to his car.

He covers your eyes with his hands when he makes you get out of the car “Y/n you better not peak” he says, tickling your ear with his mouth, guiding you somewhere

“Shit- dont trip” He says, kicking a rock out of the way

You let out a laugh at how stressed he is right now

“Okay, three, two..” He removes his hand from your eyes, adjusting to the light you look around, at the open field, the sunset turning a pink/ orange hue in the distant, before your eyes fall to the setting before you, you cover your mouth with your hand, smiling against it as you look at the picnic before you

The Jake Sim set up a picnic for you at sunset. you can't help but giggle into your palm, turning to look at him

“Its perfect Jake” You say throwing your arms around his neck, pressing a light kiss to his lips

He smiles proudly, taking pride in the fact that he’s able to please you like this

He helps you sit down, before coming next to you, watching the way you glow from the golden light on you.

“You’re telling me Heeseung, Jay, and Sunghoon made these?” You say taking a bite of the small strawberry shortcake, the flavors melting in your mouth 

“Yeah, they spent all day trying to figure out how, finding recipes and stuff” He says through a laugh

“Said it was their own way of apologizing” He lifts his finger to wipe frosting from your chin, bringing it up to lick it, smiling at you

“Tell them they're going to have to make me 10 more batches of this, because it might just be the best strawberry shortcake to date.” You say, completely serious 

“They were considering opening a bakery” Jake says through a laugh, that has you join him

As the sun sets, you lean on his shoulder, you’re not thinking about the stressful things in your life like you normally do in quiet moments, right now it's you and him.

And you're at peace with that, because you feel like you've finally found your person.

“Thank you y/n” Jake says, turning his head to look at you

“For what?” you ask, voice barely a whisper

“Forgiving me, letting me in, it means a lot to me. And I'm really glad you did.” He says, moving a strand of hair behind your ear 

“Thank you” You say so quietly, he almost wouldn't be able to hear it, he tilts his head in question

“For being there for me, and accepting me.” You say softly, he smiles before he cups the side of your face in his hand pulling you closer, and kissing you, gently..lovingly.

୨♡୧

And if I wrote reader giving him head for the first time and he actually goes insane

Okay sorry guys i'm just down bad as fuck

Thanks for reading! <3

The summer sun hung low in the sky as you, Mina, and Yunjin piled into the car, laughter echoing through the vehicle like a soundtrack to your unbreakable friendship.

You'd been best friends since high school, the kind of trio that turned mundane days into adventures.

Mina, with her sharp wit and effortless style, had been dating Jay for over a year now, the tall, broad-shouldered Jay with his easy smile and that quiet confidence that made everyone feel at ease.

Yunjin, the bubbly one with her infectious energy, was glued to Jake's side, her boyfriend of six months who matched her vibe perfectly, always cracking jokes to keep the group lighthearted.

And then there was you, Y/N, the third wheel in the best way possible, content to tag along on these escapades without any romantic entanglements of your own. Even if yob craved them.

Heeseung rounded out the group, a mutual friend from college who'd joined because why not?

He was handsome in that brooding, artistic way, woth dark hair falling into his eyes, and a perpetual sketchbook in hand.

But his heart was set on some girl from his art class, someone he'd been pining over for months.

No sparks flew your way, and honestly, you were fine with that.

The trip had been Mina's idea, sparked during a late-night group chat. “Let's do something spontaneous.” she'd texted, and before you knew it, plans were set for Jay's family cottage up in the woods, a cozy lakeside retreat about three hours from the city.

Jake had volunteered on driving, Yunjin beside him, while you, Mina, and Heeseung squeezed into the back with snacks and playlists blasting.

Jay followed in his rover, hauling the cooler, luggage and extra gear.

By the time you pulled up to the cottage, the sun was dipping toward the horizon, painting the lake in hues of orange and pink.

Jay's cottage was everything you'd imagined and more: a two-story wooden haven with a wraparound porch, stone fireplace inside, and enough bedrooms to give everyone space.

The air smelled of pine and fresh water, a welcome change from the urban smog. “Home sweet home,”

Jay announced as he unlocked the door, his voice warm and inviting.

He was the picture of hospitality, immediately assigning tasks like it was second nature.

You all dove into settling in. Yunjin and Jake claimed the room with the best view of the lake, giggling as they tossed bags onto the queen bed.

Mina helped Jay unload the groceries, their easy affection on display, stolen kisses while unpacking vegetables for dinner,, his hand lingering on her waist.

Heeseung wandered off to explore the property, muttering something about finding a good spot for sunset sketches. You pitched in with the cooking, chopping vegetables for a big pasta dinner while the others set the table on the porch.

The kitchen was alive with activity. You stood at the counter, knife flashing as you diced onions, the sharp scent making your eyes water.

Mina hovered nearby, stirring sauce on the stove, her laughter bubbling up when Jay snuck up behind her and nipped at her ear. “Stop distracting me!” she swatted him playfully, but her cheeks flushed pink. Yunjin blasted music from her phone, dancing around Jake as he grilled chicken outside.

Dinner was a feast under the stars, pasta twirled on forks, wine poured generously, stories flowing as freely as the conversation.

You sat between Mina and Yunjin, feeling the warmth of the group wrap around you like a blanket. Jay entertained everyone with tales of past summers at the cottage, his arm draped casually over Mina's shoulders.

Jake challenged Heeseung to a ridiculous arm-wrestling match on the porch railing, which ended in laughter and spilled beer. It was perfect, the kind of night that made you grateful for these friends.

Upstairs, rooms were divided up: Mina and Jay in the master with its en-suite bath, Yunjin and Jake in the lake-view spot, Heeseung in a small single, and you in a modest guest room at the end of the hall.

It had a twin bed pushed against the wall, a rickety dresser, and a window overlooking the dark woods. You unpacked your bag, hanging clothes and setting out toothpaste and creams, but something felt off.

The room was stuffy, the bed lumpy, and the faint smell of woods clung to everything. It wasn't ideal for unwinding after the long drive.

Mina poked her head in as you fluffed the pillow. “You good in here, babes?” she asked, her hair tied back, face scrubbed clean of makeup.

You hesitated, glancing around. “Honestly? It's kinda meh. The bed's uncomfortable, and I feel like I'm in a closet.”

She tilted her head, considering. “We can switch if you want? Jay can sleep anywhere, so he won’t mind. We can sleep here while you take the master.”

“You’re a savior.” you kissed her cheek sweetly.

Mina shrugged with a grin. “No biggie, I’ll tell Jay.”

You felt a rush of relief, grabbing your pillow and heading to the master.

The king-sized bed was a dream, with a plush mattress, crisp sheets, and the faint scent of male cologne lingering in the air.

You stripped down to your panties and a loose tank top, sliding under the covers.

The room was dimly lit by the stars outsisde. Exhaustion pulled at you, and soon, sleep claimed you, deep and dreamless.

Around an hour later, the mattress dipped. You stirred faintly, awareness creeping in through the haze of slumber.

A warm body pressed against your back, solid and familiar in the dark.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close.

Jay's breath ghosted over your neck, hot and ragged, smelling faintly of wine.

He nuzzled into your hair, murmuring softly, “Missed you, baby.” His voice was thick with sleep, laced with desire.

You froze, heart pounding. This wasn't right. But before you could process, his hips rocked forward, his hard cock, thick and hot, rubbing against your ass through the thin fabric of your panties.

The friction sent a jolt through you, unwelcome yet electric.

He ground slowly, the length of him nestling between your ass cheeks, his boxers doing little to hide how rigid he was. “Lord, Mina, you feel so good.”' he whispered, lips brushing your shoulder.

Panic bubbled up. You opened your mouth to speak, to correct him, Mina had switched rooms, it was you, Y/N, but his hand slid up your side, bold and possessive, cupping your breast through your shirt.

His fingers squeezed, thumb circling your nipple until it pebbled under his touch.

A gasp escaped you, traitorous pleasure sparking in your core.

You'd always craved this, touch, attention, the simple act of being wanted.

Life had been a string of almosts, no one seeing you the way Jay saw Mina. And now, here he was, lavishing you with it by mistake.

He tugged your shirt up, exposing your skin to the cool air.

His palm flattened against your bare breast, kneading the soft flesh, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You bit your lip, stifling a whimper.

In the dim moonlight filtering through the curtains, he couldn't see clearly, the differences between you and Mina blurred in the shadows. Your bodies weren't identical, but close enough in build, hair tousled from sleep.

He chuckled low, sleepy and affectionate, his cock still rutting lazily against you. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” His voice dripped with hunger, hand squeezing harder, making your breast spill over his fingers.

You hummed in response, the sound noncommittal, your mind screaming at you to stop this.

But your body betrayed you, arching back into him, seeking more. Heat pooled between your legs, your pussy clenching with need.

Emboldened by your silence, Jay's hand trailed down, hooking into the waistband of your panties. “Lift your leg for me,” he murmured, guiding your thigh up.

You complied without thinking, the position opening you up. He slid the fabric down your hips, exposing your slick folds to the night air.

His fingers found you immediately, parting your lips to trace your entrance. “So wet already.” he groaned, dipping one finger inside.

You were tight, walls gripping him. He pumped slowly, adding a second finger, stretching you with deliberate strokes. “How do you keep getting tighter every time?”

The words sent a shiver down your spine, filthy and praising. You clenched around his fingers, hips rocking subtly.

He curled them, hitting that spot inside that made stars burst behind your eyelids. Your arousal coated his hand, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet room.

Jay withdrew his fingers, the loss making you whine softly.

You heard the rustle of fabric, his boxers shoved down. His cock pressed against your entrance, hot and throbbing.

He aligned himself, the broad head nudging your folds. With a slow thrust, he pushed in, inch by inch, filling you completely.

His chest molded to your back, spooning you tight, one arm banded across your waist while the other returned to your breast, pinching your nipple.

He bottomed out with a grunt, balls pressed against your ass. “Mina, you're gripping me so good,” he praised, voice husky.

He started moving, shallow thrusts that had his cock dragging along your walls, hitting deep with each roll of his hips.

You couldn't help it, your hand joined his on your breast, squeezing the other one, rolling your own nipple as pleasure built.

The dual sensation made you moan, low and needy. Jay noticed, his pace quickening. “Yeah, just like that. Play with those pretty tits f’me. Tomorrow, you're using your toys too, the vibrator on your clit while I fuck this tight little pussy. Turns me on so much seeing you come undone.”

Your tummy twisted with heat, arousal spiking. Your walls clamped down hard, orgasm crashing over you unexpectedly.

You shattered around him, pussy pulsing, milking his shaft as waves of ecstasy ripped through you.

“Already? My greedy girl,” he cooed, thrusting through your climax, prolonging it.

His hand clamped over your mouth, muffling the cries spilling from your lips. You sucked on his fingers instinctively, tasting yourself on his skin from the early fingering.

He hooked your leg higher, changing the angle, and fucked you harder. His hips snapped forward, cock slamming deep, the bed creaking under the force.

Skin slapped against skin, your ass jiggling with each impact. You moaned into his palm, tears pricking your eyes from the intensity.

He was relentless, grunting praises, “Take it, Mina, fuck, you're so perfect” his free hand digging into your hip, holding you steady.

The pressure built again, but he beat you to it. With a final, brutal thrust, Jay came, flooding you with hot spurts of cum.

He groaned against your neck, body shuddering as he emptied himself inside you. His cock twitched, painting your walls white.

He stayed buried, thrusting shallowly, pushing his release deeper, ensuring every drop stayed in you.

Finally, he pulled out with a wet pop, cum trickling down your thigh.

He turned you gently, facing him in the dim light, lips turned upward contentedly.

That's when his eyes widened, clarity hitting like a freight train.

The curve of your jaw, the shade of your hair… it wasn't Mina. It was you, Y/N, flushed and sated, lips swollen from his fingers.

“What the fuck!” Jay scrambled back, yanking his boxers up, his cock still semi-hard and glistening with your combined fluids.

He fumbled for the lamp, flicking it on low, the soft glow confirming his nightmare.

You sat up, pulling your shirt down, shame flooding you even as aftershocks tingled in your limbs. “Jay, I—I'm sorry. It happened so fast, I didn't mean—“

He looked like he could throw up, “You should've stopped me!” he hissed, voice furious but low, mindful of the sleeping house.

His face was a mask of shock and anger, chest heaving. “This is fucked up, Y/N, I thought you were her.”

Tears welled up, spilling hot down your cheeks. Guilt twisted in your gut. you'd let it happen, craved it even. “I know, I should've said something. Please, don't hate me.”

Seeing your tears, his expression softened, the rage ebbing.

He reached out, thumb brushing your cheek, wiping away the salt. It was as much his fault, he hadn't checked, hadn't felt the subtle differences in the dark.

”Hey, don't cry,” he murmured, voice gentler now. “It'll be our secret, yeah? No one needs to know. Mina doesn't find out, none of them do.”

You nodded, sniffling, the ache between your legs a throbbing reminder of what transpired. He lingered a moment, gaze conflicted, then stood, pulling on his pants properly.

He slipped out, closing the door softly behind him, leaving you alone in the rumpled bed, body humming with unsatisfied need and heart heavy with secrets.

🦇.

The morning light filtered through the curtains of the master bedroom, casting a soft glow over the rumpled sheets where you lay.

Your body still ached from the night before, a delicious soreness between your legs that reminded you of every thrust, every forbidden moment with Jay.

But guilt gnawed at you too, mixing with the lingering heat that his words had planted in your mind.

You woke with a groan, feigning illness to avoid the group's plans.

A boat trip on the lake sounded fun, but facing everyone, especially Jay, felt impossible. “I'm not feeling great,l you mumbled when Mina checked in, pressing a cool hand to your forehead. “Headache, maybe from the long drive.”

Mina's brow furrowed with concern, her gentle nature shining through. “You should rest. We'll go without you, but Jay can stay behind to keep an eye on you. Right, love?” She turned to Jay, who was packing a cooler by the door, his expression neutral, avoiding your gaze.

Jay nodded stiffly, his jaw tight “Yeah, sure. No problem.” His voice was clipped, the tension from last night hanging unspoken between you.

Yunjin hugged you goodbye, promising to bring back stories, while Heeseung waved casually, oblivious to the undercurrents.

The front door clicked shut behind them, the sound of the car engine fading into the distance.

The cottage fell silent, save for the distant lap of water against the shore.

You stayed in bed, heart racing, as footsteps echoed downstairs.

Jay moved around the kitchen, the clink of dishes suggesting coffee or breakfast. But no words came your way.

After an hour of staring at the ceiling, replaying his dirty promises, curiosity, and a building ache, drove you up.

You remembered the bedroom, the one you'd switched from, now empty of Mina.

Her things were still there, luggage half-unpacked.

If she had toys... maybe just a peek wouldn't hurt.

Padding silently across the cool wooden floor in your oversized t-shirt and panties, you slipped into the room.

You started with the nightstand drawers, rifling through socks and books. Nothing.

Then the dresser, underwear, neatly folded, but no luck.

Finally, you knelt by the luggage, unzipping side pockets. Your fingers brushed a soft fabric bag, hidden at the bottom. Heart pounding, you pulled it out, the zipper whispering open.

Inside, a treasure trove of secrets spilled into view, and your eyes widened in shock.

Mina, sweet and gentle Mina, who blushed at dirty jokes and held your hand during scary movies, was freaky as hell.

There were at least five toys, each more intriguing than the last. A small bullet vibrator, sleek and silver, promised pinpoint pleasure.

Next to it, a lip-shaped one, pink and glossy, designed to suck and tease. Then a realistic dildo, veined and girthy, about seven inches of silicone cock.

Bigger still was the monster beside it, thick as your wrist, with a suction base for mounting.

And finally, the rabbit vibrator, a curved shaft with a clitoral stimulator that looked like floppy rabbit ears, complete with textured beads and multiple speed settings.

You picked up the rabbit one, turning it over in your hands.

It looked almost comical, woth those little ears, but the weight of it felt promising.

Mina wouldn't mind if you borrowed it for a bit, right?

She was your best friend, this was harmless curiosity. You tucked the others away, zipping the bag and sliding it back into place.

Clutching the rabbit toy to your chest, you crept back to the bedroom, glancing down the hall.

Jay was in the living room, the TV flickering with some action movie, his back to the stairs.

Closing the door with a soft click. Your phone buzzed in your hand as you set the toy on the bed. Time to get comfortable.

You scrolled through your browser, incognito mode on, searching for porn that matched the mood, something passionate, not too aggressive.

A video popped up: a couple in a sunlit room, her legs spread wide as he ate her out slowly, building to a slow, deep fuck.

Perfect.

You propped the phone against a pillow, turning the volume low enough to hear the moans and wet sounds without alerting anyone.

Stripping down took seconds, t-shirt over your head, panties kicked aside.

You were naked now, skin prickling in the cool air, you lay back on the bed, knees bent and spread.

Your hands roamed first, massaging your body to stoke the fire. Fingers traced your collarbone, down to your breasts, cupping the soft mounds Jay had squeezed last night.

Your nipples hardened under your palms, thumbs circling the peaks until they ached.

Lower still, over your stomach, dipping between your thighs. You were already slick, arousal from the memory making your pussy lips glisten.

But impatience won; you needed more than your touch.

The rabbit toy felt foreign in your grip, cool silicone warming against your skin.

You'd never used one, fingers and pillows had been your go-to, humping against fabric until friction brought release.

How did this even work? A quick Google search: how to use rabbit vibrator. helped you. Instructions flashed, lube if needed (you were wet enough), insert the shaft, position the ears on your clit, start low.

You clicked back to the porn, the woman now riding her partner's cock, her tits bouncing with each grind.

Spreading your folds with one hand, you teased the tip of the toy along your entrance, coating it in your juices.

The curved head nudged inside, stretching you gently. Fuck, it was thicker than expected, filling you inch by inch as you pushed.

Your walls clenched around the intrusion, the beads inside the shaft adding delicious texture.

Once seated, you angled the rabbit ears against your clit, the soft silicone nestling perfectly. A flick of the button, low buzz, and pleasure exploded.

“Oh shit,” ou gasped, body arching off the bed. The vibrations hummed through your core, the shaft pulsing inside while the ears fluttered against your swollen nub.

It was worlds better than your fingers, the dual stimulation hitting every nerve.

You watched the video, the actress's moans syncing with yours as she came, her pussy squirting around the dick buried in her.

Emboldened, you turned up the speed, thrusting the toy in and out slowly. Wet squelches filled the room, your arousal dripping down your ass crack onto the sheets.

You fucked yourself harder, hips bucking to meet each plunge. Your free hand pinched your nipple, twisting until it stung, imagining Jay's rough grip.

Last night's cum had leaked out in your sleep, but now you were making your own mess, pussy gushing around the silicone cock.

Little did you know, across the hall in the living room, Jay's phone lit up with a notification.

He had an app, the discreet way he and Mina controlled her toys remotely, that pinged: ‘Device activated. Low intensity.’

He paused the movie, brow furrowing.

Mina had taken one on the boat?

She hadn't mentioned it, but maybe she'd snuck the rabbit for some solo fun on the water.

A smirk tugged at his lips, imagining her squirming while the others rowed.

But then, faint buzzing drifted from upstairs, unmistakable even over the TV's hum.

Curious, he muted the screen and stood, padding quietly up the stairs.

The sounds grew clearer, soft whimpers, the steady whir of vibrations. The master bedroom door was closed, but not locked. he turned the knob silently, cracking it open.

And fuck. There you were, legs splayed wide on the bed, the rabbit toy buried in your cunt, ears dancing on your clit.

Your breasts heaved with each breath, nipples hard points, face flushed in pleasure.

Pussy lips stretched around the shaft, slick withjuices coating your thighs. The phone played porn, the actress mid-orgasm, but your eyes were half-lidded, lost in it.

You opened your eyes to check the video, but locked onto Jay's stunned gaze instead.

Panic surged so you yanked the sheets over your body, though the toy stayed lodged deep, vibrations still humming. “What are you doing here?”' you hissed, voice breathless, cheeks burning.

Jay pushed the door wider, stepping in with a dark expression. He closed it behind him, the click loud in the tension. “Why the fuck are you using Mina's toy?” His voice was low, edged with anger and something hotter. He eyed the bulge under the sheet where the vibrator buzzed.

You swallowed, mortified, the pleasure warring with shame. “l... I wanted to try it. I've never used one before. Please, don't tell her.”

Lord, you sounded pathetic, begging your best friend's boyfriend for secrets after he'd already fucked you by mistake.

He rolled his eyes, but there was a flicker of amusement, or arousal, in his gaze.

Crossing the room, he loomed over the bed. “Pitiful, Y/N. Needing me to teach you this shit too?”

Without warning, he pulled out his phone, opening the app.

A few taps, and the vibrations surged to medium— then intense, fluttering waves that made your whole body jerk.

“Ah—fuck!” you moaned, back bowing, the toy ravaging your insides. Your clit throbbed under the assault, orgasm teetering close already.

Jay chuckled, low and dirty, glancing at your phone. “And this piss-poor porn? Amateur hour.” He snatched it, killing the video and muting the sound.

Then, with one hand, he ripped the sheet away, exposing you fully. Your pussy clenched visibly around the toy, arousal pooling beneath your ass.

Naked and vulnerable, you stared up at him, need overriding embarrassment. “Jay, please... help me cum. It feels so good, but I can't—“

He leaned in, eyes dark. “You don't cum unless I say so. Got it? Be a good girl for once.l

You nodded frantically, biting your lip as another wave hit. “Yes, okay.”

His hand slapped yours away from the toy's base and replaced it with his own.

Strong fingers wrapped around the end, twisting it slightly, making the shaft grind against your g-spot.

He pumped it slow at first, in and out, the ears never leaving your clit. “That's better. Now, fuck yourself on it like you were. Show me how desperate you are.”

You obeyed, hips rolling, the silicone cock sliding deep with his guidance. Pleasure built fast, your walls fluttering. “Jay, I'm close—“

“Hold it,” he commanded, voice firm. “Don't you dare cum yet.”

You tried, clenching every muscle, breaths ragged. But it was too much, and uou cried out, body shaking as you came hard, juices squirting around the toy, soaking his hand.

He tsked, shaking his head. “Bad girl. You couldn't even follow instructions.”

With the app, he cranked it to high, the buzzing intensifying to a roar. Your oversensitive clit screamed, aftershocks turning to torture-pleasure. “You need to learn control, huh? Like a good little slut who listens.”

The next build was agony. He fucked you with the toy relentlessly, thumb pressing the ears harder against your nub. When you whimpered, “Close again— please!” he dialed it down to low, the sudden drop leaving you hanging, frustrated tears pricking your eyes.

“Not yet,” he growled, watching your pussy clench emptily.

He ramped it up again, edging you mercilessly. Your thighs trembled, sweat beading on your skin. “Jay, I can't... please, I'm a good girl! Let me cum, pretty please!”

Tears spilled, your voice breaking as you writhed. He held your gaze, unyielding, until finally, after the third edge, he nodded. “Cum for me, slut. Soak this fucking toy.”

The release hit like a storm. He maxed the vibrations, pounding the rabbit into you, shaft spearing your g-spot, ears battering your clit.

Your whole body jerked, convulsing on the bed, eyes rolling back as ecstasy overwhelmed.

Pussy walls milked the toy, a gush of cum flooding out, drenching the sheets. You screamed, nails digging into the mattress, vision whiting out.

Jay had to hold you down, his free hand pinning your hip as you bucked wildly. “There it is,” he murmured, voice rough with his own arousal, cock straining against his pants.

He rode out your climax, slowing the thrusts until you slumped, panting, boneless.

Just then, his phone rang, Mina's face lighting the screen.

Panic flashed in your eyes, but he pressed a finger to your lips. “Shut up,” he whispered harshly, clamping his hand over your mouth as you whimpered from the lingering buzz.

He answered, voice shifting to sweet normalcy. “Hey, baby. Yeah, everything's fine here. Y/N’s resting.”

You squirmed beneath him, the toy still humming low, his palm muffling your gasps.

Mina's voice echoed through the speaker: “Good. We're having fun, but I'm getting hungry. Can you start lunch? We’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

“Sure thing,” he replied, all affection. “I'll grill some burgers. Love you.” He hung up, tossing the phone aside.

Removing his hand, he gripped the toy's base. “Time's up.”

With a slick pull, he extracted the rabbit, your pussy gaping slightly, cum-coated silicone gleaming. You sighed at the emptiness.

He held it to your lips. “Suck it clean. Taste how much of a mess you made.”

Obedient, you parted your lips, tongue swirling around the shaft, lapping your tangy release.

You sucked eagerly, hollowing your cheeks, until it shone wet with saliva.

Jay pulled it away, wiping it on the sheet. “Good girl. But remember, never tell anyone what happened here. This stays between us.”

You nodded, spent and aching anew, as he stood. He adjusted himself, hiding the bulge, and left without another word, door clicking shut.

As soon as he saw the Aston Martin DB9 Voltane, silver exterior, pink interior, with heavy damage in the front from most likely a rear end collision pull up, he knew exactly what kind of customer he was dealing with.

Wiping his hands on his jeans, the ones he has several pairs of, so he doesnt care if they get messy or not, he watches as you step out of the car. 

Predictable. Denim mini skirt, light pink baby doll top, hair freshly blown out, full face of makeup, and to top it off, playboy bunny heels.

He looks across the mechanic garage at Jay, who's already looking at him with a knowing eyebrow raised.

You grab your designer purse, looking around the garage, the smell of oil, and metal lingering in the air. You curse your father for making you do this by yourself. 

Watching as none of the workers here make any move to come forward and help you, you scoff. Typical of these low lifes.

“Does anyone actually work here?” You say, attitude leaking from your voice

He shakes his head stifling a laugh before making his way to you from across the garage.

You watch as a man, probably around your age approaches you, immediately noting how handsome he is, dark hair, defined features, cat like eyes that draw you in.

“How can we help you today?” He asks, tone calm, collected.

“Well clearly the bumper’s fucked up.” You say, hand signaling to the front of your car

His eyebrows raise slightly at your straight foward attitude.

“Yeah, I can see that.” His eyes drop to your tits for a split second, how could he not when they're practically spilling out of your little top

“So I need you to like, fix it” You say like its the most obvious thing, which it clearly is.

He walks around to the front, crouching to look closer at the damage, you watch his face

“yikes..” He says through his teeth, making a slight panic bubble in your chest

“What?” You ask, urgently needing an answer

“This baby’s gonna need some work that's for sure.” He stands up, walking around the car to check for any more damage

“Sensors are definitely damaged, we’re gonna have to order a new bumper, for this specific car it could be hard to find one. You might need a new engine too.” He looks at you, reaching into the front seat, finger hovering over the hood button “May I?” you nod

He pops the hood before going back around to look at the engine, you watch as another man comes to look at it, he must also work here. “Shit– V12 too, that's gonna cost a fortune to fix” The third party adds.

“Since it uses aluminum body panels, it's going to be harder to fix than steel.” The first one says, hand rubbing his jaw in thought, you look at them confused as ever because you don't know what the hell they are saying.

“I don't even know what that means. Can you fix it or not?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest, completely oblivious to the way you're pushing your tits up more, and to the way both of their gazes drop to look at them.

“Yeah, I can fix it. But it's not gonna be cheap.” He says

“How much?” You ask, tone uncaring, this is just information your father needs to know anyway.

“It's not definitely not minor damage, parts are probably gonna have to be shipped from out of state, so maybe around 20-25 grand?” He estimates in his head

You don't bat an eye, “How long will it take then?” You ask impatiently 

“Well it sure as hell isn't going to be ready tomorrow, I'm thinking 3-5 weeks.” He says calmly

“That's like almost a month!” practically shouting at him

“Like I said, parts from out of state.” He adds, watching the way you pull out your phone, swiping frantically on it, you don't excuse yourself before walking a good 5 feet away to call your father.

He picks up on the 4th ring 

“Yes Y/n?” he says, bothered 

“Dad, they said it's going to take almost a month to fix it!” You say in your phone, completely unaware of how Jungwon and Jay can hear your conversation perfectly clear.

Typical, you have no sense of space either.

“Well that's what happens when you get your car wrecked.” he says

“But I can't survive a whole month-”

“Well you're going to have to, maybe if you weren't so careless with your speeding, and texting while driving, you wouldn't be in this situation at all.” You quiet down as he continues

“Ill have the driver pick you up, sign whatever papers they give you. You have my card right?” 

‘Yes.” You reply clipped, anger seeping in your tone

“Use it. I don't care for the cost” He adds, you hear the sound of papers shuffling in the back, knowing that the reason for his straight forward attitude is because he's at his office. 

“Fine.” 

“And y/n?”, "Don't be rude.” He adds before hanging up the phone, you bring it down to look at the screen, scoffing before shoving it in your bag and walking back towards the annoyingly hot workers.

They are both looking at your engine when you walk back towards them, you watch the first one look up, before he tells the other one to grab the papers.

He comes back with a clip board and hands it to you with a pen, you scan it, looking at the first box, ‘Mechanic Name’, you look up at him

"What's your name?” tone bored

“Jungwon.” He says, you repeat the name in your head. Leaning against the side of your car to fill out the rest of the form, rolling your eyes as you check off the boxes for the reasoning of your visit. The other worker is already back working on one of the other cars.

You hand him the clipboard without a word, watching his eyes skim over it before he lets a smirk show, what the fuck is he smirking at.

“What?” You ask rudely, making him stifle a laugh. 

“Nothin’ I just knew it’d be a rear end.” He says, pulling out a business card from his pocket

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Your nostrils flaring at the way he’s speaking to you.

“Just means girls like you are predictable.” He watches your face, ignoring the glare you’re giving him before continuing “Let me guess, you were on your phone”

You open your mouth to speak, to defend yourself but close it, because that's the exact reason why. He grins at that, knowing he’s right.

“Right. I'm gonna see exactly what she’s gonna need, and I'll message you the exact cost so you can come back and pay.” He says, handing you his business card

You take it reluctantly, hating the fact that you actually have to come back here again. You look down at the way his hand is still held out, looking down at the oil stained flesh in disgust before glancing up at his ridiculously perfect face

“What? Do you want me to hold your hand or something?” 

He chuckles lightly, “I need the car keys, princess.” You hide your embarrassment, obviously he needs the keys. You lean into your car, bending enough that your mini skirt rises slightly higher than necessary, revealing the pink lace panties from Victoria's Secret's spring collection, he ignores the way his cock jumps at the sight.

You hand him the keys, he looks down at them, resisting the urge to laugh at your key chains, the mini chanel heel, to the pink fluffy pom pom ball, before bring them down, finger hooking around the key ring

“kay’ so is that all?” You ask impatiently, kitten heel tapping on the ground lightly, “For now.” He says, shamelessly dropping his eyes to your glossy lips before turning around and walking back to his tool table.

You roll your eyes, making sure you grabbed everything out of your car before walking out of the garage, the faint smell of oil sticking to you. Yeah you're taking a long shower when you get home. 

“Y’know, you could've just got her card on file” Jay mutters, walking over to him

“Whats the fun in that?” Jungwon says, looking at the papers you signed, y/n. Pretty name.

-

People often referred to you as the ‘spoiled daddy’s girl’ type, to be fair you didn't deny it. Your father did spoil you rotten, after all he was one of the wealthiest men in the country. Obviously you took advantage of it, from the designer clothes, and bags, your whole closet screamed it. Your friends were rich too, naturally. You didn't want to surround yourself with people who leech off your money.

It had been three days since you saw your car, three days since you saw that sexy ass mechanic.

So what if you wore this outfit just for this specific occasion, you weren't completely clueless. You could tell when a man knew how to fuck, simply by his attitude, and Jungwon was screaming big dick energy.

You reapply your shiny lipgloss on your lips, as your driver pulls up to the shop. Looking down at your outfit, from the tight denim shorts to the white baby tee, you purposely didn't put a bra on with.

You smile sweetly at your driver before stepping out, your dior bag in one hand, and strawberry beverage in the other before walking in the shop.

You look around the shop trying to spot Jungwon, he had messaged you that he was able to find all the parts, and needed to double check with you to confirm the payment.

You don't like when people make you wait either. 

“God, this place is fucking slow.” You say before walking to your car, you pause when you him stand up from working on the engine of your car

“Sorry to keep you waiting princess” He says, putting the wrench in his hand down, dusting his hands off and standing up, he’s wearing a white tank top. Biceps, those biceps are all you can think about right now.

He runs his hand through his hair, pushing the messy strands back before walking past you. You try not to act shocked when he doesn’t even glance at your outfit– guy’s would fucking kill to see you in this. 

You hesitate a beat before following him to what you're guessing is some kind of break room..looking around from the desk, to the couch, to the ash tray sitting on the table in the center.

“Is this like a man cave or something?” You ask, stepping in the room like the floor would burn you, he lets out a low chuckle before sitting down at his desk, and pulling up the website for you to pay. 

You look down at his concentrated face before leaning over his shoulder to get a better look at it, slightly brushing your tits on the side of his face. He freezes for a split second before speaking without looking at you. “I need your card.” 

Standing up straight you reach in your purse pulling out your fathers black card and handing it to him. He scoffs, typing the numbers in “Daddy’s money huh?” He says, voice low before handing it back to you.

You roll your eyes, but you don't deny it either.

“Alright that's all I need from you.” He says, standing up and going back out to the main garage, passing Jay as he works on the engine for another customer. 

You watch him walk away, tossing your finished beverage in his office trashcan "That's all?” You say approaching him again.

“What do you mean ‘thats all’?” He turns to look at you

“You came here for somethin’ else princess?” Using that nickname again. 

He lets his eyes fall to your body, he knew you weren't wearing a bra the second he saw you. Not to mention those tiny shorts that don't leave shit to the imagination.

You must be fucking desperate to shown up looking like that here.

“No–I just thought” You huff out a frustrated breath, before pulling out your phone to text your driver to come back. 

He looks over your shoulder, no sign of Jay. He probably went to the office to smoke anyway.

“Thought what?” He watches the way you shove your phone in your bag, irritation on your features, even though he knows exactly what you thought. Plenty of girls think the same thing.

When you cross your arms over your chest like a spoiled brat he chuckles. “Thought I’d want you just cause’ you show up looking like a slut?” 

Your face switches from irritation to straight up anger “Fuck you-” 

“Yeah I'm sure you’d want that huh?” He smirks, not missing the way your nipples harden under his stare

You look past his shoulder to see the familiar black SUV pull up before looking back at him in his stupid tank top that shows off his stupidly big biceps.

You know what, fine. You're not wasting any more time on this asshole. 

“Dont scratch my car.” You say before walking out, he watches the way your hips sway, your ass begging to be let out of those tight shorts, pushing his tongue against his cheek before getting back to work on your car.

-

“You have got to be kidding me.” It had been a week since you last saw him. Yet here he is, at your favorite club..dancing.

You look at the girl he’s dancing with, the way she slides her hand under his shirt–of course he has fucking abs.

You're pulled from your thoughts when your friend taps your shoulder “Girl, what's going on?” 

“What? Nothing, I just need a drink. Bad.” You walk to the bar, flashing a smile that has the bartender immediately catering to you. 

You can't help but let your eyes stray back to the dance floor, to see Jungwon's hands on that bitches waist, smiling against her ear. You try to ignore the ting of jealousy you feel, what does she have that you don't?

After downing whatever your friend ordered for the both of you, and something more, you turn to face her “I wanna dance” you say, dragging her on the dance floor with you

You don't miss the look of recognition that passes along his face when he sees you walking towards the dance floor, the surprise making you grin.

Took less then 3 minutes to feel a pair of strong hands on your waist, you recognize the rough look of them immediately.

“Got bored of that little whore?” You say, purposely grinding your ass back against him

He chuckles against your ear, “Jealous?”

You scoff at that, which makes him tighten his hands on your waist, for a mechanic he sure can move his hips, hitting every beat with each roll against your body 

“You wanted it to be you huh?” he whispers, voice low

“Why would I voluntarily want to grind against your small dick?” you snap, earning a low chuckle from him

“Small?” He says turning you around to face him “Princess, I promise you nothing about my dick is small.” 

“Yeah?” You say, brow raised, looking up and down his form like he was your next Chanel purchase, “Prove it.” 

He smirks looking down then looking back up at your face, “You asked for it.” He rests his hand on your lower back before leading you two out of the club, you look at him curiously before he drags you into an empty alley, you can still hear the music from out here.

“What? Are you gonna fuck me here?” Your face shows irritation. Even though your heart is nearly beating out of your chest.

“No.” He watches your face, stepping closer till your faces are less than an inch apart, the rough brick of the club building digging into your head.

He trails his lips along your neck, breathing your scent in. You can't help the shivers that go down your spine, and straight to your core at the attention

He presses his hardening cock against your thigh, your breath slightly hitches at the contact

“You feel that?” He whispers against your neck

“What’s that, like 2 inches?” still not letting go of your bitchy attitude.

He chuckles low, but it's not jokingly, it's dangerous, knowing.

“Get on your knees, brat.” you hesitate a second before lowering yourself on the hard concrete. He almost could laugh at how quickly you listen

“Look at you, spoiled rich girl on her knees.” He looks down at you, the way your face is asking for specific instructions

“Go on.”

You hate that your hands are shaking when you lift them to unbuckle his belt, your tongue darting out to lick your lips before you look up at him, he nods, watching as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one go.

You nearly gasp at the way his thick, flushed cock springs out, slapping his abdomen with how long it is. Definitely not 2 inches. 

“You really are a slut huh? On the ground in the middle of some alley, just to suck dick.” He caresses the side of your face, in such a gentle way you would think he’s comforting you, his thumb swipes over your bottom lip urging you to open your mouth

You stick out your tongue for him, letting him stick his thumb down your throat, closing your lips around it, he pushes it in farther earning a small gag from you

“Oh sweetheart, if you can't handle this, how will you take my cock?” He says condensendly, pulling his thumb out of your mouth and wiping it on the side of your face.

His eyebrows raise slightly when you wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and bring him closer to your mouth before wrapping your lips around the tip, the taste of his pre cum coating your tongue. He lets out a groan at how warm your mouth is, his hand coming down to grip your hair in his hand.

“Suck it like the slut you are.” His mouth hangs open slightly as he looks down at you

You mumble around his dick before taking more of him in your mouth, curling your toes in your heels to not gag, because then you would be proving his exact point.

Closing your eyes to concentrate, you take him slightly deeper, you whine when you see he’s not even fully in your mouth, making him chuckle at your desperate state.

“Let me help you out, yeah?” he says before gripping the back of your head harder and thrusting his cock into your mouth further, till your nose kisses his pelvis, he lets the most guttural groan at the way your throat convulses around his length, his other hand coming up to steady himself on the brick wall behind you.

You brace your hands on his thighs, gagging around his cock, before he pulls it out of your mouth, looking down at the way your saliva coats it, “Who’s small now huh?” He doesn't give you time to reply before shoving himself back in your mouth, biting his lip at the way you attempt to adjust to the length. 

You look up at him, the way his head is thrown back, the slight shine of his sweat coating his neck, before moving your hand down to cup his balls in your hand, the sound he lets out is fucking insane. 

“F-fuck–yeah just like that” He breathes out, watching the way you sloppily take him in your mouth, You swirl your tongue around the base, before sucking on the head of his cock sharply, massaging his heavy balls in your hand, when his grip on your hair loosens slightly, you know hes about to come.

“Can you s..swallow like a good girl for me?” He says through a moan, the vibration that comes from your mouth is your answer, he brings his hand down from the wall, gripping the back of your head with both his hands, before pushing himself deep in your throat, making you gag as he spills his warm load into you. He tries to stifle how loud he is, but fails miserably, he looks down at you, pulling his cock out of your mouth slowly, watching the way you swallow his come.

“Fuck that was hot.” He lets go of your hair, admiring the fucked out look on your face

“Should’ve came on your face though.” He says, stepping back, tucking himself in his pants and fixing his belt. 

You stand up wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, fixing the way your mini dress slid up your thighs

“That's all?” you ask, watching him finish buckling his belt before looking at you

He steps closer until your back hits the wall, lips ghosting over yours, you close your eyes slightly, waiting for the kiss, he smirks at that.

“I still have a car to work on sweetheart.” He says slyly, pulling back, not sparing you a glance before he walks out of the alley way. Leaving you, confused, and absolutely soaked. And that just won't do. 

-

You've been told countless times before that you have no shame, but you say it's just because you're bold. You know what you want, and you'll get it no matter what.

Which is exactly why you went back to the mechanic shop, claiming you left something in your car and needed it urgently. When you really just wanted to slip a little something into the center console, and you did just that.

“Jungwon” You watch as he works on your car's engine, sleeves rolled up, hair slick with sweat due to the spike in temperature today.

“Princess.” He replies back, casually. Like this is normal

“I think there's something wrong inside the car, can you look at it?” You ask sweetly, feigning innocence as he looks into the car, eyebrow raised

The vibration of your phone takes your attention, your drivers here. “You’ll know when you find it” You offer that smile that makes men go weak in their knees before walking out of the garage.

He watches you walk away, confusion etched on his face before looking in the cup holder, the second he opens the center console he feels the heat rush to his dick. His fingers wrap around the delicate lace.

He couldn't help but bring them to his nose throughout the day, just to inhale your scent, he swears he could get high off it.

Fine then. If you want to offer yourself on a golden platter to him, then he’s going to take it.

-

9:34

Jungwon: Your cars ready

You: Okay?

He chuckles down at his phone, already sensing your attitude through the damn screen

Jungwon: So, you can pick it up

You: Isn’t it a little late for me to come

Jungwon: Come get your car y/n.

You cant help the small laugh the slips past your lips at the message

You: Fine.

Yes, you purposely aren't wearing panties under your mini skirt, because if you're right, then you're not going to need them. 

The main garage doors of the shop are closed, so you opt for the regular one, the lights are slightly dimmer then usual, but you also haven't been here at night before. You pass by the other cars in the garage, the silence being odd for a place like this, except for the sound of your heels clicking on the ground with every step you take to your car.

Its completely fixed. The bumper is brand new, it honestly looks how it did when your father first bought you it.

You walk around the front of the car to take a closer look, when something solid, No. Someone solid presses against you, a gasp slips past your lips at the contact

“Can’t believe you actually came princess” He says, smiling against the back of your ear, his breath on your skin making you shiver

“You said the car was ready, so obviously I did.” You roll your eyes, even though he cant see it. But he senses it.

His hand trails down your body, resting on your lower stomach “Is that why you're not wearing any panties?” He asks, voice low, a rasp in it you recognize from the alley

“Coming in here with your pussy out. Like a slut. You're lucky it's only me here tonight." He brings his hands back up, cupping your tits in his hand

The filthy words he’s saying only making you all the more wet. You can feel the slick dripping on your inner thigh

A breathy sound slips past your slips as he kneads the flesh in his hands over your tank top “I knew they’d feel like this too” He pulls your tank top neckline down so he can really feel you, the way it slightly pushes your tits up more makes his dick harden in his jeans. “So fuckin’ soft” He knips at your ear before pinching your nipples with his fingers, you whimper at the touch

“Aw, so sensitive already?” He smirks, rutting his hips against your ass, making you have to brace one of your hands on the hood of your car

“Just..F-fuck me already” You say through a breathy moan as he bounces your tits in his hands

He laughs at that, actually fucking laughs. Nothing is funny when you’re in this state of desperation, in need of being filled so badly.

“God, you're actually so desperate it's embarrassing” He says, before pushing you down against the hood of your car, earning a gasp that sounded a whole lot like a moan from you.

He just looks down at you for a second, spoiled rich girl bent over your own fucking car, at his mercy. “Are you just gonna stand there-” You don't even get to finish your sentence when he yanks your skirt down your legs, the air hitting your pussy immediately

You spread your legs the best you can, just to show off for him. “Holy shit, it looks like you fucking pissed yourself” He drags a finger through your folds, collected the slick on his fingers, making you moan into the cold steel of your car

“I knew you’d be this wet, could smell it the second you walked in.” he says, plaming your ass in his hand, making your body jolt when you feel a sharp slap “The fuck-” You start but immeditly shut up when he pinches your clit inbetween his fingers

“Got even more wet from that huh? You like this shit.” He chuckles low before landing another sharp slap to your ass, the sound echoing in the garage

He soothes the burn with his hand, you look behind you, straining your neck when you see him get on his knees behind you, he’s not even looking at your face, his gaze is right on the way your hole clenches around nothing

He spreads your ass just to get a better look, you push yourself back against his face slightly “Stop being greedy.” He says, the tone in his voice asserting his authority, how much power he has in this right now.

You dont have time to come up with a bratty reply when he licks a strip up your pussy, collecting your juices on his tounge “knew you’d taste this fucking good too” He mutters into your pussy before burying his nose in your folds, absolutely inhaling your scent, his dick throbbing in his pants. “Oh my–fuck..” You breathe the words out at the feeling of his nose aligning perfectly. 

He smiles against your pussy before plunging his tongue in your hole making your hands attempt to claw at the hard surface beneath you, “Jungwon-!” You yell out, when his thumb comes up to rub small circles on your clit

He flicks his tongue against you, enjoying the way you squirm

“Want you to come like this” He mumbles into your cunt, fucking his tounge in and out of you at a criminally fast speed

You’re a moaning mess against the car, his name on your lips everytime you’re able to speak.

“m’ gonna come–” You breathe out as his finger speeds up its teasing on your sensitive bud, your juices are dripping on his chin, he sucks whatever you give him, the tight pressure making your legs tremble

If you weren’t bent over this car right now you’d definitely collapse.

You cry out when his tongue hits deep inside you, flicking in your pussy as you come on his face, he presses his thumb against your clit as he licks everything, taking his mouth off your cunt with a pop. 

You’re slouched against the car, knees weak trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

He stands up, licking his lips, not giving you any time to react before he flips you onto your back, “No thank you?” He tilts his head to the side slightly, studying your face

You look at him like he has two heads, even when you’re spread infront of him like his next meal, you still have a fucking attitude.

“Oh, but you want me to fuck you right?” He scoffs, before stepping closer to you, fitting right between your legs.

If he just presses against you more, you'll feel the hard bulge in his pants that you can see so clearly right now.

You nod at his question

“You’re so fucking spoiled.” He says before leaning down against you, rocking his hips into you, letting his clothed dick grind on your pussy

You whine at the feeling. He presses small kisses to your neck, trailing up your jaw, he watches your face, the way your eyebrows furrow, like it’s killing you that he’s not inside you right now.

He doesnt think before pressing his lips to yours, Its not sweet, or loving, its fucking unhinged.

You immediately let him in, arms coming up to wrap around his neck to pull him closer, his chest brushing against your hardened nipples, when his hand comes up to twist them in his fingers you moan into his mouth. “Fuck me Jungwon- please” you cry out desperately making him smile

“Yeah? Spoiled brat wants to be fucked on her fancy car?” He looks down at you as you nod frantically

“Words or else you're not getting shit.” He stands up straight, sliding off his shirt with practiced ease before unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down, along with his boxers.

You watch as his cock hits his abdomen, the tip flushed red, you practically drool at the sight of it, at the familiar memory of sucking him off , a memory that has replayed every night since.

“Yes, I want you to fuck me, right here—please” Your face mimicks a pout that has him bringing his hand down to stroke himself in his hand 

“Like the slut you are?” He presses, wanting to hear you say more

“Only for you” You say, biting your lip at the way he squeezes his length in his hand

You watch him line the head of his cock with your hole,coating his dick in your arousal from earlier, and the new wetness thats fomed since, you’re so fucking easy to get wet its insane.

He brings his hand to hold down your hips, to anchor himself before he slides into your pussy, he watches as you squirm, trying to adjust to his cock, his mouth hangs open as he bottoms out,

“You’re so tight holy shit-” He breathes out, doing small movements with his hips to get you to adjust better

You can't even think right now with the way he’s stuffing you so full. He pulls out slowly before stamming back into you, watching the way your tits bounce at the movement.

“mmm..faster “ You say through a moan, he thrusts into you slow, teasing, even if it is taking everything in him to not absolutely drill into your tight cunt.

You let out a frustrated sound, that has his eyes leaving where you two connect, and up to your face, He thrusts into you harder, just see your tits bounce, before he brings his hand up from your hip to squeeze one in his hand. “You want me to go faster?” He asks, voice rough, strained.

“Yes–fuck-” You nearly scream when he delivers a harsh slap to your tit, the sting making you arch your back off the car, He smirks down at you, as the flesh turns a light shade of pink

“Use your manners.” He smooths over the flesh with his hand, fingers grazing lightly over your nipple

“Please..faster Jungwon–please.” You whine out, thats all it takes before hes lifting your leg to rest on his shoulder and ruthlessly pounding into you.

You cant even keep your eyes open as he fucks into you, the only sound being the ones coming from both of your mouths, and your wet pussy squelching around his cock as his balls slap your ass over and over again.

He watches the tears that swell in your eyes “Are you fucking crying?” He teases, thumb coming up to swipe the tear threatening to fall.

He feels the way your hole flutters around his cock, “S-shit princess” He groans out, leaning down to take you in his mouth, you immediately kiss him back

he swallows the moans you let out, letting you wrap your legs around his hips to pull him imposisbly closer

“I-im gonna come–fuck-” You manage to say, moaning into his mouth like a damn pornstar.

“Fuck yeah, come on my cock princess” He says through desperate pants of his own, when he feels you clench down even harder he thrusts into you deeper, letting your pussy suck in his cock as you reach your high, the feeling making him shoot his warm load inside of you, the sounds that leave both your mouths completing it.

His head is buried in the crook of your neck, you feel him start to soften inside you, a major part of you proud of yourself for making him come.

“That was–fuck, you’re perfect.” He whispers, pulling out slowly, the sensitivetly making you wince slightly, using his hands to help him get up, he looks down at you, the fucked out expression on your face before grabbing his jeans and putting them on, you watch him, before moving to get up but he stops you “What are you doing?” he looks at you like you're crazy “I- I was going to leave..” You say sitting up

“No you’re not.” Is all he says before picking up his shirt and using it to clean you “What-” 

“Im not a complete asshole princess.” He mutters, fixing your tank top and grabbing your skirt from the ground

“Plus, I want you to come back.” he adds, watching you put your skirt on

“To fuck?” You ask, tucking a strand of hair behind your ears

He can't help the small smile that paints his lips, watching you act like this, so clueless.

“And incase you rear end someone else.” he shrugs, watching the way your face instantly changes to irritation

“You fucking-” he pulls you to him, shutting you up with a hard kiss against your lips before pulling back

“Dont finish that sentence, because im perfectly fine with fucking you dumb again.” He warns, tone serious

That familiar playful look on your face tells him everything he needs to know, as you finish what you were saying.

-

Yesyesyes freaky won give him to me NOW

“I’m fucking poisoning you, aren’t I?”

Cavalier. Presumptuous. High-and-mighty. Show-off. A trainwreck. A goddamn fucking know-it-all. 

Park Jongseong.

You had found him at his worst all those years ago like a little stray cat drenched in rain, hissing at everybody who dares to come close just to make itself look intimidating. He had lost a friend and he was hurting a lot, making his defenses taller than The Great Wall. Made of iron, impenetrable almost.

You had fallen in love with his full moon smile hidden under layers of midnight brokenness.

“Do not say such things!”

“You and I both know who you really should be with,” he spat, jaw and fists clenched in unison. “We should… we should just break up.”

Another outburst again. Jay was a man made up of intense emotions instead of flesh and bones. Pleasant delight to manic euphoria, tinge of arousal to fatal lust, mild irritation to unhinged fury at record speed. You loved how passionate he was, but it was indeed true that it was hurting you every once in a while.

But calling that poison?

“Please,” you begged him in tears. “Please don’t do this.”

He loved you deliriously, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from letting you go because he thought you belonged with someone else. Someone who had a decent command over his own emotions, someone who would make you mostly happy rather than half the time. They would at least be able to stay in your good graces when their pros trumped their cons.

Whereas Jay was in a vicious cycle of erasing all the rights he accumulated with a single colossal wrong.

“I know how much I’m hurting you. It’s who I am at this point. I can’t help it,” he averted his eyes from you, squeezing his eyes to push his tears back. “Just… Don’t make this any harder.”

“Jay, please… We can get through this together. We can—”

“It’s not your job to fix me!”

And just like that, he walked away. As if all those years you had spent together were just a dream. As if all the dreams you had did not exist. As if he had never called you his sun. It had caught on so much that you wouldn’t even call each other by your names; he would call you Sunny instead, and you would call him Moony. 

Sun? What sun? 

Light was a social construct, and it could go to fucking hell. Ever since Jay left, it was always new moon for you. Darkness was all you knew. Everything lost its color and turned into bleak monochrome shades.

And it was getting dimmer with each passing day.

You were going crazy. You talked to your friends about the same things over and over again, but nothing was consoling you. Nothing was able to splash a bit of cold water on the hellfire that broke out in your heart. The lilies you loved so much had died. It kept raining torrents. You cried and cried and cried over him until you ran out of tears to cry. You had never felt this helpless in your life. 

Jay used to sing quiet lullabies for you in his arms. 

You lost sleep. 

Jay used to make grilled cheese sandwiches for you on Saturday mornings. 

You lost your appetite. 

Jay used to draw silly doodles on post-its and stick them all over the house so that you would laugh when you saw them. 

You lost joy. 

You bundled yourself in your cocoon of blankets for days on end, hoping it would pass. Sooner than later. Sooner than later. Sooner. Sooner. Please, I’m dying over here!!!

“It’s time, sweetheart. Come on, get up.”

You were so consumed in grief that you had lost all sense of reality. To this day, you were thankful to Hyejin for dragging you to a therapy appointment that day.

It still took a long-ass time, but you at least managed to reach a state of neutrality instead of violently breaking down when you heard the name Jay. The hellfire was put out, but the gentle sizzle of the everburning amber was still there. You had no choice but to come to terms with carrying that around for the rest of your life.

When it was time to reintegrate with the rest of the world again, you even entertained the thought of having someone in your life. You went on several dates. There were people you genuinely liked among them, too, but it always ended up the same.

“You’re still in love with your ex, aren’t you?”

Maybe. You were deluding yourself into thinking otherwise, but maybe… Even after all this time… 

You couldn’t help it. Jay was your first true love, so naturally, the cut he left behind was the deepest of them all. He still popped into your mind every now and then, making you wonder how he was doing. Whether he was happy or not. Whether he was thinking about you.

Whether he was regretting his decision at all.

When you woke up that Saturday, you had a really bad craving for grilled cheese, but you realized were out of ingredients. If you left right away, maybe everything would be different, but you decided to leave after taking a shower that lasted exactly twenty three minutes. When you left your apartment, you briefly returned because you forgot to take out the trash. The cab you took ran one red light on the way, and you debated whether you should go to the bookstore now or after you finished your shopping, eventually opting for later.

…all of which cumulatively contributed to the exact moment you thought you had finally gone insane in front of the dairy aisle.

“Sunny?”

A bolt of lightning struck in the exact spot you were standing when you heard that name rendered in that voice. You heard something erupt in the distance, and the tremors of a violent mushroom cloud destroyed everything into a pile of goddamn debris.

When you slowly turned your head to your right, you indeed saw the one thing you were dreading to see for so long holding bread slices and a block of cheddar in his hands.

“Jay…”

His equally shocked expression was slowly replaced by a smile, and once you saw those cheekbones raised again, you felt your heart thumping in your ears. 

“I can’t believe it’s actually you. You look fantastic!” he threw the groceries into his shopping cart and approached you. “How have you been?”

Your heart ached. He looked as good as you remembered him. Even better actually with those waves in his hair. The dark circles under his eyes were long gone, and while happy was up for debate, he at least looked healthy.

“I’m doing better,” a vague smile appeared on your lips. “How have you been?”

“More or less the same neighborhood.”

Both of you were looking at each other, and there was something akin to an awe-filled silence between you. It wasn’t tense, but it was extremely intense. You were replaying every single memory of Jay in your head at x100 speed and wondering if he was doing the same. One wrong word could pop the oddly cozy bubble that immediately enveloped this moment, and you weren’t ready for it to end yet. You wanted to beg him just like he used to when you tried to drag him out of bed.

Please, Sunny, just five more minutes!

“Are you in a hurry? Can we grab a cup of coffee right outside?”

You had managed to take one step forward after fighting all those demons. What if this was ten steps back? What if this small encounter was going to leave another unfillable void in your soul, and what if—?

“Of course,” you heard yourself say despite everything that was yelling at you inside your head. He smiled at you again.

It made you wanna throw yourself into the freezing cold ocean every time he smiled like that.

After completing your purchases, you made your way to the coffee shop in front of the bookstore, and Jay headed to the counter without even asking you what you would like. He returned with two large cups of dark roast americano, and you could smell the drop of caramel syrup in it. He still remembered how you took your coffee. 

Your heart sizzled.

“Thank you,” you dragged the coffee towards yourself on the table for two. “You grew out your hair. It really suits you.”

“And you dyed yours. I really like the color.”

There were so many things you wanted to say, so many questions you wanted to ask, but you didn’t even know where to start. Then something caught your attention as you kept playing with the lid of your cup.

“You got a tattoo, huh?”

“It’s Polaris,” Jay touched his left wrist. “It’s for my daughter. She’s my little star guiding me.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach so fast that you felt queasy. Did you… hear that correctly just now?

“You… you have a daughter,” you flashed him a terrorized smile.

It wasn’t a question, but it was. It wasn’t an interrogation, but it was. So he did find someone after you. Not only did he find them, but also… Also…

Did you do to her the same things you used to do to me? Did you also tell her you loved her endlessly? Was she able to touch you like I would? Did you miss me when you realized I beat her at that one good? 

“Yeah!” he brought out his wallet and showed you a picture in it with a smile. “Her name is Nari.” 

“N–Nari?”

It would have hurt less if he started torturing you right then and there. Lilies… He named his daughter after goddamn lilies. Mr. I’m-Poisoning-You had indeed gone ahead and found a toxin-immune terrain to breed.

Was this a fucking joke?!

“Oh wow, she’s the spitting image of you!”

“She’s great,” Jay looked at the picture fondly. “Being a father really changes you, you know. It puts things into perspective.”

Of course you knew. You had always known he would be a terrific father. A quirky one, for sure, but filled to the brim with love for his children. 

“How about you? You got any kids?”

You couldn’t believe you were asked this question by Jay as if you didn’t plan to have two kids once upon a time. One boy and one girl, the best of both worlds. Preferably twins. He was going to annoy the shit out of you with your son, and you were going to retaliate with your daughter because that was, quote, ‘How she will learn to be a boss lady later in life.’

“No,” you flashed a broken smile at him.

The mood was getting considerably solemn. What were you expecting anyway? For him to not be over you? He was the one who wanted to walk away, so why the surprise? What kind of hope were you holding onto all this time?

Were you unknowingly holding onto some hope all this time?

“Uh… So what do you do?” you attempted to change the topic. “Did you make it as a frontman like you always wanted?”

“I’m actually a chef now,” Jay leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms on his now broader chest. “If you’ve ever been to Four Seasons downtown, I’ve probably served you.”

“Whoa, isn’t that a Michelin restaurant?”

“Which I’m responsible for obtaining.”

“That’s fucking impressive!”

Neither of you touched that radioactive waste zone again until you reached the bottom of your coffees. Instead, you talked about stuff you would do at a college reunion. What happened after you graduated? Were you able to land a good job? Of course you were; your professors never shut up about how promising you were. Your boss, though? He could go fuck himself. The chef thing? While he was wandering around, Jay found himself in the cookbook aisle at this very bookstore one day, and it was all downhill from there. He had never thought about turning his hobbies into a career before and he should have done that sooner.

Both of you spent an entire hour like this. Pretending. Acting like you weren’t extremely shaken by the other’s presence, and in complete disbelief that this was the reality you were leading now.

“It was great to see you,” Jay spoke as you were leaving the place.

It was a disaster to see you, you wanted to yell at his face. I’ve been doing so fucking well up till now, and now I’m back to goddamn square one. Why did you have to fucking show up again?

“You too,” you smiled at him instead.

When you least expected it, he reached for a hug and all of a sudden… 

That familiar scent.

Sandalwood. Ocean. Salt. Sunscreen. Forest breeze. Pine trees. Passion. Love. Lust. All in the same whiff.

Jay. 

The one that got away. Willingly.

Even after all this time, I still love you.

“I really hope this won’t be our only encounter,” he sheepishly smiled and took his phone out. “Do you mind if we—?”

“I don’t think so, Jay.”

His expression immediately fell. He was sulking. You hated it when he pouted. You just wanted to give him the entire universe so that he would smile again.

But this past hour had taken the life out of you.

“I’m sorry, I–I didn’t mean to assume,” he put his phone back and turned his eyes to the ground. “Of course. When you agreed to have coffee with me, I just thought you… you weren’t...”

“It’s not that.”

You creased your brows trying to pick your words carefully. A part of you was still furious with him for what he had put you through, but it wasn’t like you wanted to get back at him for it. You were trying to move on, and exchanging numbers and having him around was certainly not the way to do that.

You could never be friends with him again. Not when you knew what he tasted like because you knew for a fact that he tasted like your soulmate. 

And you were forever doomed to be the fully functional half of a perfect whole without Jay.

“I almost died trying to get over you,” you finally met his gaze. “It was nice to catch up, yes, but you seem to have much more important priorities now.”

You reached out for his hand, and he watched you stroke his tattoo with your thumb.

“My daughter.”

“I’m very proud of you, you know,” you smiled genuinely for the first time. “I know it’s not unheard of for people to change, but I’m very glad to see you changed for the better.”

Jay opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he smiled at you again, albeit in a thousand pieces.

It made you wanna burn yourself alive every time he smiled like that. You instinctively pecked his cheek and hailed an approaching cab.

“Say hi to the missus for me,” you smiled at him as you got in and took out your earphones from your pockets. “Houston Drive, please.”

Only after the cab took off was Jay able to register what you just said.

“Wait!” he dropped his bags. “Sunny, please wait!!!”

Jay started running after the yellow vehicle gliding down the road like a yellow serpent, but to no avail. He eventually slowed down to a halt, panting hard as he held his knees in complete fatigue. If he knew you would magically hear him somehow, he would yell after you at the top of his lungs until he completely lost his voice, but all his last remaining strength allowed him was a tiny whisper he could barely hear himself.

And it was turning into a sob dangerously fast.

“There is no missus, Sunny, please…”

“You’re fucking kidding me!”

“Nope. I’d rather gargle cyanide than bring him up in a conversation,” you talked into the speakerphone as you were tearing the lettuce in the kitchen. “Jay is a daddy now.”

“And who’s the bitch?”

“Jin…”

“I SAID WHO’S THE BITCH I JUST WANNA ACCIDENTALLY RUN INTO HIS WIFE SOMEWHERE WITH MY CAR!”

While Hyejin’s murderous intentions to avenge you were appreciated, you didn’t possess the knowledge that would satisfy her.

“I didn’t ask.”

“What do you mean you didn’t ask? Aren’t you at least a little bit curious?”

“I’m not about to spiral myself into a comparison olympics, sweetie.”

“Ugh, fucking Park. Pops out of nowhere like a goddamn jack in a box after all this time,” Hyejin scoffed into her receiver. “If I ever see him, I will crack his ring finger!”

You initially laughed at her violent comments, but then… something hit you.

“Actually, he wasn’t wearing one.”

“A married man and is not wearing his wedding ring?”

“I mean… I assumed he was married.”

“Let me ask you something, Sunny,” she sarcastically emphasized. “Did you or did you not hear it from his mouth that he was married?”

You drew a total blank at her words. No, you hadn’t asked him that because why the fuck would you? Who would have wanted to know what would be their untimely demise?

“But he has a daughter.”

“That literally doesn’t answer my question,” Hyejin insisted. “Did he tell you he was married?”

“He… He didn’t.”

“WOMAN!!!”

You didn’t know what to make of her reaction. When you were still together with Jay, Hyejin was the number one fan of your relationship, but obviously, people had to choose sides after a devastating breakup. She was always there for you through your darkest times, but now…

Was she insinuating what you thought she was insinuating?

“Here’s what we’re doing,” she continued, unbothered. “Next week, you’re getting into your classiest slut attire and we’re having dinner at Four Seasons for operation ‘This is what you missed out on motherfucker’. I’m making a reservation right now.”

“Hyejin, please!”

“I SAID WHAT I SAID. DON’T MAKE ME RUN YOU OVER, TOO!”

Then she hung up on your face.

Jay didn’t say it, yeah, but it didn’t necessarily mean that he was single, either.

But what if he was?

What if he was?

What if…?

“So what if he is?!” you threw your phone on the couch in exasperation.

On the D-Day, you took the longest shower of your life drowned in your thoughts, and started to get ready for your dinner plans as if you were going on a fucking date.

The possibility of seeing Jay again stirred something in you, no matter how much it was in a work context. If anything, you were nervous to be in his fascinating Michelin chef presence, quite possibly fucking shit up in the hottest way possible. Because that was what he was. Intense. No matter what he did. You didn’t even know how you would be able to see him considering… He had to be in the kitchen, no? It wasn’t like the man was serving people himself. Would you make up an excuse? Would you try to sneak into the back? Would you purposefully send your food back, or ask for the chef to come over so that you could pay him compliments in person?

Why did you agree to Hyejin’s plans again?

“Good evening. Did you have a reservation?”

You were there to have dinner, no? Basic human needs and whatnot. Then why did it feel like this man was questioning your entire life trying to decide whether you were worth being there or not?

“Yes. I believe it’s under Ahn Hyejin?”

The maître d’ went through the gargantuan notebook he had in front of him, and once he confirmed the name, he made his way inside.

“This way, please.”

You thought he was going to lead you to a table in the middle of the people crowding that large hall, so naturally, you were befuddled as hell when he passed the restaurant area and guided you towards a more secluded place.

“I’m sorry, I think there’s a mistake. I’m supposed to be having dinner with my friend?”

“Yes, Ms. Ahn has booked this VIP room for you.”

“For–For me?” you creased your brows in confusion. “As in she’s not coming?”

He finally slid a door open and gestured you to go in. There was a table for two inside in front of a window looking over a fantastic city view along with a lot of kitchen utensils. You walked towards one of the chairs and sat down.

“Enjoy your experience,” he left you by yourself in that extravagantly luxurious room.

Confused out of your mind, you attacked your phone to call Hyejin to ask where the hell she was, but she wasn’t picking up. The one time you needed her the most…

“Dammit, Jin!”

She was the one who came up with this plan without telling you what the plan fucking entailed, so what in the fresh fuck was up with that right now?

“Good evening.”

You heard the door slide open again. A person clad in jet black kitchen attire let themselves in and greeted you without looking at you. You could literally hear the fireworks or a nuclear bomb go off in the distance when you turned towards the source of that honey voice. The person’s expression, on the other hand, was between the brink of crying and flashing the most genuine smile of their life.

Your heart melted into a puddle when you saw him.

“My name is Park Jongseong. I’ll be your personal chef tonight.”

Park Jongseong. So that was how he introduced himself to the people who paid to see him. He might not be holding a guitar right now, but he still managed to be a rockstar after all.

“You’ll— my— personal what?”

“Well, isn’t that why you came here tonight?” he flashed a very entertained, lopsided smile at your flustered state. “To dine?”

Was it??? The last time you checked, you were under the impression that you were going to have dinner with your best friend to throw shade at your ex. Not be in such an unnecessarily close proximity to him that you would question all your life choices that led to that moment.

“I–I don’t… Hyejin booked…”

“Ah, of course. The boss lady herself,” Jay slightly bowed at the name as a sign of respect, then licked his lips with absolute mischief shooting from his eyes. “So you did tell her about me, huh?”

“Why— Why— Why would I do that?”

“I find it a little hard to believe that she of all people would coincidentally request me. I know she put a bounty on my head back in the day.” He casually handed you a long piece of cardboard that looked like an obnoxiously expensive wedding invitation. “Would you like my recommendations, or would you like to create your own menu for tonight?”

He was standing tall right next to you, posture upright, arms clasped behind his back, waiting on you like your personal bodyguard. You had noticed how much he must have been working out a couple of days back, but those bulging veins that traveled from his elbow down to his hands confirmed it for you.

Jay used to despise moving.

“I’d like to have so very much wine, please,” you handed the menu back to him while gulping, your throat parched all of a sudden. He chuckled in delight.

“As for the food?”

“Surprise me.”

His chuckle turned into gentle laughter for some reason, and you couldn’t tell if the urge bubbling inside you was to punch him in his stupid handsome face or to rip that unnecessarily sexy uniform off of his bonkers hot body.

What was happening right now?!

“With pleasure,” he took the thick cardboard away from you.

Jay opened a very decent bottle of cabernet sauvignon first to accompany your appetizers, and then promptly got to work. You watched him create magic right before your eyes. The way he was executing his craft with such passion and enthusiasm felt like you were supposed to be paying just to watch him cook. It was that satisfying, and he made it look so easy. Smooth wrist movements, flawless command over the knives he held in a tight grip, brows furrowed and lips slightly pouting with how laser focused he was. You didn’t even realize how much time had passed when he finished your first course.

“Please enjoy,” he placed an incredibly fancy-looking black porcelain plate in front of you.

And when you took your first bite of the food…

“God—DAMN, Jay Jay, you used to struggle even with pasta. How the HELL did this happen?!”

You knew you fucked it up royally when you held Jay’s gaze. As nervous as you were, the familiarity of having him around had gaslit you into thinking you were still in his kitchen from years ago, and the address just slipped from your lips. Jay Jay. The way he looked at you so longingly when he heard that name from you again… After all those years…

You wished the ground would swallow you whole.

“Thank you. I appreciate it very much,” Jay broke into a very comforting and content smile, sensing your severe internal struggle. “I’ll get started with your entrée.”

He proceeded to prepare your main course, and all of a sudden, you felt something snap at the back of your head. Maybe it was the burgundy courage sponsored by the wine coursing in your veins, but as he was busying himself with the vegetables in front of him, it just… slipped out.

“Why don’t you make it for two?”

“Are you expecting company?” he asked, not looking away from his cutting board.

“I’d like you to join me.”

He finally met your eyes, and you saw the whirlwind of emotions stirring in his. Surprised, definitely. Undertones of happy. A tinge of excitement maybe. And then he smiled.

It made you wanna lock him in the tightest embrace every time he smiled like that.

“I can’t do that while I’m working,” he returned to his cooking, somewhat bashful.

“You can if a paying customer is asking you to,” you insisted. “Please.”

Please? Did you just say please?

Did you know how many years he waited for you to say that in any context? Did you know how unequipped he was to say no to that request?

Without saying anything, he threw another marinated steak on the grill in front of him and added another portion of baby potatoes right next to it. Shortly after, he pulled two plates from the cabinet below him and decorated them exactly the same. 

Minus the little demiglace sun he drew on your plate and a crescent moon on his.

After he placed the plates on the table, he grabbed a fishbowl wine glass and poured a generous amount of burgundy courage into it as if he wanted to drown himself.

“To you,” he raised his glass. 

You reciprocated. Your glasses kissed each other way more fearlessly than you two could coexist in the same room. If Jay cooked dinner for you in the privacy of his own kitchen, it would only be slightly more intimate than this.

You both ate in silence for some time. You savored every bite, every flavor he managed to squeeze into that plate. It might be completely delusional of you to think this way, but for some reason, everything everything in front of you tasted so sweet just because Jay made it for you. Nothing in this world could be this concerningly delicious to make you think whether you were having your last meal or not.

“Jay, I’m going to ask you something.”

To hell with it. The itch at the back of your brain was about to drive you crazy, so you just had to scratch it before you snapped and went on a fucking rampage.

“Yes?” he looked at you with his brows raised.

“To be brutally honest, I’m kind of scared to hear the answer,” you put your fork down and stared at it. “Are you…?”

How to ask this? How to not pry but pry very much at the same time? How to make him think you didn’t have the ulterior motives that you absolutely had? What if he gave the wrong answer? Because there was a wrong answer here.

“You’re… You’re married, right? To Nari’s mother, I mean.”

“No.”

A total lack of pause. He answered your question so nonchalantly as if to say What the hell is wrong with you?

“REALLY?! I–I mean…” you immediately turned your volume down. “I mean, are you… are you divorced, or…?”

“We never got married.”

What the hell was that feeling of relief spreading throughout your chest at a concerning speed? It needed to stop. It had to stop before you started having hopes for something you ab–so–lute–ly shouldn’t!

“W–Why not?”

“Because we were never together to begin with,” Jay took a sip from his wine. “Nari wasn’t exactly born out of love.”

The clouds passing by his beautiful face… They were a distinct type of nimbus. Quite dark. Charged with lethal bolts of lightning. If they rained, they would sure as fuck create catastrophic floods after them.

“Her mother and I…” he started drawing circles on the rim of his glass. “Let’s just say our relationship lasted for less than an hour under a lot of haze. There was a time in my life when I turned to less-than-ideal means to…”

Then he pierced a hole in your soul with his eyes.

“To try and forget you.”

Once upon a time, you knew a man. He wasn’t aware he had pirated his entire personality from someone else, and he would do anything to get his way. Anything. Even say things that would mean so much to an average person with zero restlessness on his conscience because he didn’t have one. He just didn’t give a fuck who he was hurting as long as he got what he wanted.

Years later, that very same man was sitting right in front of you, holding his heart between his hands openly and giving you a free pass to crush it into mere dust if you wished. The amount of vulnerability in his voice… He knew he deserved it. He knew he deserved the worst of it.

“I’m not proud of it, but I’m taking responsibility. She was the one who wanted to keep the baby, but she is nowhere to be found most of the time. So I filed for full custody.”

“You’re—You’re raising her on your own?!”

“Yes,” he smiled proudly, then switched to his playfully cocky mode you were a bit too familiar with. “I mean, Rose helps us a lot of course, but I’m not about to give her all the credit. I am a superdad to my baby.”

You involuntarily chuckled. Why of course, even in the form of a joke, he just had to compliment himself because that was Park Jongseong for you.

“How old is she now?”

“She’s four.”

If someone had told you that years later you would be listening to this beautiful disaster with Everest-level cockiness talk about his baby girl fondly, you would die laughing. And yet…

Jay wriggled in his seat and cleared his throat, his eyes averted from you as he spoke.

“Well… Are–Are you…?”

“Am I what?” you reached for your glass.

“You know,” he dragged his finger down the stem of his glass as if that was the most important task at hand. “Have someone. In your life.”

He seemed almost scared to look at you, but eventually mustered his strength to face his fate. You dragged on the silence for as long as you could handle and shook your head no. Not only was there massive relief on his face, but Jay also let out a very deep breath that accompanied his blooming smile.

“Sunny.”

The tone of his voice changed all of a sudden. Serious. Determined. He reached for your hand over the table and fearlessly looked deep into your eyes as he talked this time.

“I’ve never stopped having feelings for you. Never.”

His skin on yours once again. Hesitant but oh so soothing. Asking for permission to please please come back home.

All your senses were extremely heightened somehow.

“I thought I was doing what I believed was the best for you, but I hit rock bottom. I lived my life as a walking corpse after I let you go, but you know why I’m glad Nari exists?”

Every time he talked about his baby girl, all his razor-sharp features softened, and the amount of compassion he had for her was simply bursting out of him.

“She turned me into a man that I’ve always wanted to become for you. She is teaching me about patience. She is teaching me about unconditional love,” Jay swallowed a sob to push it way down. “And she reminds me so much of you.”

This right there was how cruel life was. You both had to be dragged through hell and back in your own ways to become the people you were at that very moment. Nothing had gone according to plan, but then it made you think. 

So what if it hadn’t? 

Would that necessarily be the better option? What if you and Jay stayed together to the point of resenting each other so badly that you couldn’t stand the idea of sharing a life anymore? So what if it wasn’t you two that were supposed to change each other for the better? At the end of the day, Jay was a household chef and a devoted father who seemed much more level-headed, and you were a successful editor-slash-writer who no longer let anyone else occupy the space right at the center of your life.

All things considered, did that really turn out so bad?

All things considered, could you give him another chance?

All things considered, would you be able to find it in your heart to forgive him?

“You’ve always been my Moony, Jay,” you smiled at him through the tears threatening to fall. “And you always will be.”

His smile, on the other hand, grew so devastatingly big that you were almost blinded by it.

“I was thinking,” he began his words with the bashfulness of a teenager, “after I’m done here, would you like t—?”

“Pardon the intrusion, miss.”

“DO YOU FUCKING MIND, SUNOO?!”

The poor maître d’ was just doing his job, but the interruption at the best part exasperated Jay so intensely that he couldn’t help the volume of his voice, startling both of you.

“I sincerely apologize,” he judged the crap out of Jay solely with his eyes, not intimidated in the slightest, and put a little envelope in front of you. “Ms. Ahn extends her regards.”

When you opened it, you saw that it contained two keycards in it for Room 1116.

“Well, Sunoo, Ms. Ahn is indeed here, isn’t she?” you closed the envelope and shot him a knowing look. “I promise I’m not going to do anything. I just want to know.”

The man in his crisp brand-name suit got flustered out of his mind but felt obliged to provide you with an answer anyway.

“We’ve been strictly instructed to monitor your mood and let her know if you were in distress.”

“Thank you very much. While I don’t appreciate the CCTV treatment, please tell her I’m really enjoying myself.”

As the man apologetically bowed and made himself scarce, you removed one of the keycards from the envelope and slid it towards Jay.

“Here’s your tip, Chef Park,” you spoke with the softest but infinitely seductive tone. “Why don’t you pick up a bottle of your most expensive champagne and meet me upstairs?”

Without giving him a chance to speak, you got up to your feet. Jay’s eyes followed your every move, and his jaw dropped when you came that close to him and leaned in.

“You remember how we used to not let each other sleep, right?” you placed a little kiss on his nose and left him there to marinate in his feelings for a while.

You thought he would take a while to arrive, but shortly after you entered the room, you heard a knock on your door.

“Can I come in?”

“Why didn’t you just let yourself in?” you looked at him in surprise.

“I uh… I wanted to make sure you actually want this,” he scratched his neck. “Maybe you’re having second thoughts, or maybe y—”

Immediately familiar.

You shut him up with a kiss, and his eyes immediately closed. His lips within yours again… So soft. Occupied the space in your mouth just right. Burned you with the amount of desire they were coated in.

Some things had changed, yes, but some things were never ever going to change.

He still tasted the same.

“Does that answer your question?”

Your fingers dragging down his cheek was the absolute last straw. The feeble thread that barely held Jay’s remaining sanity finally broke, and he slammed the door behind him, devouring your lips with impatient hunger as you pulled him in from the collar of his uniform. Your hands were all over each other, wanting to touch everything at the same time. You guided his hand between your legs to show him what he still did to you after all this time, and that delicious groan he let out once he felt your wetness… 

Complete music to your ears.

“You fucking know how weak I am for you, so you’re doing it on purpose, aren’t you?” he panted into your mouth. “Keep this up and someone’s getting knocked up tonight.”

“Then fucking put your money where your mouth is. I dare you to breed me.”

“I hope your birth control fails.”

“I hope your condom breaks.”

“Joke’s on you. I don’t have one on me.”

You pulled him in for another fiery kiss, but when you attempted to take off his top, he stopped you.

“No, no, no, baby, I need to shower first.”

You shuddered when he addressed you just like he used to. His eyes widened when he also realized what he just called you and examined your face intently to determine the level of his fuckup. 

“I’m… I’m so sorry. Force of habit.”

“It’s fine,” you smiled at him, contrary to his expectations. “More than fine actually.”

“I promise I’ll be back in five minutes. Time me.” 

Three steps later, he suddenly turned around and went for another kiss as if that was the very last one he would be able to get. 

“And stay wet,” he bit into your lips with a smile.

You giggled as he bolted to the shower. When he reemerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his wet locks sticking to his face, he still had forty-three seconds to spare.

And you almost lost your whole entire shit when you saw him half-naked after all this time.

Jay had always been gorgeous, but now as a bonus feature, the man had become totally RIPPED.

“Now, where were we?” he sat right next to you and attempted to kiss you again.

“Nuh-uh,” you stopped him in panic as if you weren’t on the brink of jumping him yourself. “You did kill the mood. You gotta work me up again.”

“Again,” he echoed you. “So I did work you up before.”

Even when he knew what he was doing to you, Jay would always try to coax you into saying it out loud. Give him attention, tell him how handsome he was, praise his oral skills, moan his name when you were cumming… He lived for that shit.

But once his lips touched your skin again, there were no remains of the playfully brazen guy anymore. It was more like he was trying to tell you something without actually saying it.

“Did you miss me, too, Sunny?” he kissed the corner of your lips and started moving downwards. “Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”

His hands were all over you, albeit moving very unhurriedly. He was inhaling you a lot as if he had been to war and was down bad with homesickness.

“Say yes,” he spoke into your neck while pulling the straps of your dress down. “Even if you didn’t, please say yes.”

“But yes,” you affirmed and kept repeating it like a mantra to him just so it sank in. “Yes, I missed you to death. Yes. Yes.”

No amount of shampoo or shower gel could hide his sandalwood scent from you. You were getting lost in him just like you always did as if you hadn’t spent any time apart. Jay stopped for a moment and looked at your face while stroking your cheeks, eyes beaming with adoration.

“You have another tattoo?” you touched his right shoulder. “Don’t tell me that’s for your daughter, too, because this looks depressing.”

It was a completely blackened sun like it was in an eclipse. His expression turned serious all of a sudden.

“It’s for you actually.”

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. It looked more like an ancient rune used to summon demons, so you had no idea what to expect. But you knew it couldn’t possibly mean anything nice.

At least, you thought.

“You were my sun. You still are. I already felt like I had completely eclipsed you, but when we broke up, my entire world darkened,” he caressed your hair. “It’s a little brighter now thanks to my little girl, but it’s… It’s not the same.”

You were suddenly overcome with so many emotions that you found yourself on the brink of crying. Jay’s eyes. Jay’s lips. Jay’s love. 

Jay. 

Jay. 

Jay.

“Love me,” your voice quivered. “You owe me years’ worth of touches. Just fucking love me!”

“Shh, it’s okay now,” he kissed your hands and lay you down. “I’m right here.”

You let him pacify you with his touches as he stripped you fully. He caressed every inch of your body softly and marked every piece of skin he charted with a little kiss. As if he was discovering you afresh. 

Because all things considered, he actually was.

“Hate me all you want. I deserve it,” he pulled himself up to your eye level again. “Just let me kiss it all better. However long it takes.”

Then he moved on to place his wet ‘days of the week’ kisses that you had missed so so so much. 

“Monday.”

Your lips.

“Tuesday.”

Your neck.

“Wednesday and Thursday.”

Your breasts.

“Friday.”

Your stomach.

“Saturday.”

Your thighs.

“And Sunday.”

Your clit.

“You remember how we used to party on the weekends, right, Sunny?”

You inadvertently let out a giggle when he smirked at you that mischievously.

“Let’s see if I remember it correctly,” Jay got comfortable between your legs. “This spot is for sucking.”

He wrapped his gorgeous lips around your clit and sucked on it with barely there pressure just to tease you. He knew it would never be enough even if he kept this up for hours.

“This spot is for kissing.”

He moved right under your clit and kept placing feathery kisses on the flesh. He was slowly pushing you towards the very edge of impatience, and he loved the way you kept flinching under him. 

“And this spot is for licking.”

Then he slithered down to your oozing entrance and started to lick into you with intermittent kisses. Just like he did on the nights you made up after a huge fight.

“Ah, Jay…”

“Call me your baby again,” he spoke quietly into your pussy, but you could feel his words inside you. “Call me baby like you used to.”

His way of passionately apologizing to you over and over again. He was drawing little suns and crescent moons on your pussy with his tongue, hoping you would recognize them. Hoping you would accept them as tokens of how sorry he was.

“Fucking god, your taste,” he contorted his face in absolute delight. “You taste better than the rarest delicacies.” 

He put your hands on his head for you to guide him, wrapped his hands around your thighs, and started heavily making out with your cunt. He was going at it so ferociously that just thirty seconds in, you were already halfway there.

“I’ve kicked several addictions so far, but this? I’m never getting sober,” he wiped his chin smeared with your arousal and sucked on his finger. “I’m addicted to you. Down bad. Always have been.”

He gently slipped two fingers inside and started massaging that spot right behind your clit. Your moans were slowly transforming from quiet little staccatos to dragged-out sounds of pleasure as if you were belting a note.

“Better, right?”

“Much better,” you tugged on his moist locks. “God, you’re fucking amazing with those fingers, baby. You’re… You’re so… Oh, fuck!”

Jay was never able to control how he reacted to you whenever you praised him in bed for any reason. He was in dire withdrawal as it was; it had been too long a time since you showered him with compliments, but you throwing in baby in there? You might have said one word, but it still automatically awakened his beast mode because if there was one thing he loved more than anything, it was to compete with himself. In any capacity. His fingering got a little faster, and he alternated between sucking and licking long drags on your pussy. A little faster. A little harder. A little wetter.

Until you came all over his fingers. 

He licked them clean and crawled on top of you to kiss you with his cum-stained lips, and once you gathered your wits again, you lay Jay down, hovering over him. You kissed him with the very same days of the week. His scars. His tattoos. Like you were accepting his apologies. Like you were accepting him for who he was. He kept wincing under you in pleasure and tried to catch a glimpse of your face as you made your way down.

“You remember how we used to fuck for hours on Sunday mornings, right, Jay Jay?”

You worshipped his abdomen just the way he liked it, touching and placing wet kisses all over. His large hands were caressing your hair as he watched you with his head tilted, dying of anticipation of the moment your lips would finally meet where he needed you the most. Jay loved the prelude, always had, and his breathing was much faster already. 

“Should I go further down?” you teased him by kissing his crotch. “Should I?”

“Don’t make me beg!”

You would, but maybe some other time. You took his flushed cock in your mouth and started blowing him at a torturously slow pace. Deep. To taste his essence rather than pleasure him. All of a sudden, it felt like he was never gone, and this was just another night in your bed you were spending together until the faint blue lights of daybreak told you to stop fucking and go to sleep.

Even after all this time, I still love you.

He didn’t rush you. He was so scared you would come to your senses and leave him all alone for good that he couldn’t even move. 

He wasn’t about to mess it all up again.

“I’m right here,” you held his hands to reassure him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Once you said that, all the muscles he was unknowingly clenching loosened, and he relaxed into the pillow, completely letting go and just relishing the feeling of you around him. He was getting dangerously close to his release, but that wasn’t a part of his plan.

“Don’t!” he stopped you when you started choking on him. “Don’t make me cum. Not yet.”

When you let go of his cock with a loud pop, he immediately sat up and pulled you in for a deep kiss. His tongue still tasted like you in your mouth.

“Beg, baby,” you scratched right under his chin. “Beg to fuck me. Beg for me.”

“Let me make it up to you,” he brushed your hair away from your face. “Let me show you why I’m your other half. Why we belong together. Please.”

“What if I say no?”

“Please, baby,” Jay pleaded with his lips on your neck again. “Let me fuck you. Let me fuck you deep. Let me fly us both. Let me drive both of us crazy right here right now. You know I can.”

If Jay’s weakness were your praises, then yours was his relentless begging. You were ready to spread your legs for him four sentences ago, but what fun would it be if he didn’t turn into an utterly desperate lover so eager to please? You placed your hands around his neck and harshly pulled him down with you, signaling him you were ready. You must have fucked each other maybe hundreds of times, but every time you felt him press against your entrance, all hard and throbbing, it still felt like the very first time.

“Oh fuck, you still feel like heaven inside,” Jay took deep breaths as he carefully settled inside you. “You still fit around me so snugly.”

Oh, how you missed this feeling… Feel this full with him inside you… No matter how much he stretched you, no matter how wet you were for him, it never mattered. The second he started moving, you were so overwhelmed by the intense pleasure that your eyes were rolling back as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan.

“You still react the same to me,” he chewed on his lips and picked up his pace just a measure. “Does it still feel as good, baby? Do you like the pressure?”

You slammed your hands on his hips and groped him as hard as you could, hoping it would translate into something along the lines of “FUCK YES PASS THROUGH ME!”

“God, it… it feels… m–much better than… than I reme— Oh, Jay…”

“Wrap your legs around me. Let me go deeper.”

When you did as he said, Jay was able to angle himself properly to reach a critical spot inside you. Too critical. K.O. material. Could cause a severe short circuit in your brain at any moment.

“Fuck, that’s deep!”

“I know how my girl likes it. I know all your hotspots,” he devilishly smiled. “I know how exactly you like to cum like the back of my hand.”

“Getting cocky there a bit?”

“Tell me if this rings a bell,” he continued to fuck you deep but now with slower thrusts. “Folds teased until you’re rabid. Pussy fingered and clit sucked until it’s numb in my mouth. Breasts fondled. Thighs kissed. Legs massaged with my cum as your aromatherapy oils.”

You involuntarily groaned at how fucking brazen he was being with you, reciting all your guilty pleasures right at your face. He grabbed both of your hands and pinned them right above your head.

“Then it’s my turn, and I fucking drill you into this mattress like my personal pornstar, and you take it like the good girl you are. Sound familiar?” he started moving with sharper, more precise thrusts. “Do you deny any of this? Do you deny that I know how to fuck you just right?” 

“Jay, please!”

“I’m made for you, baby. Don’t you ever forget it,” he unleashed himself on your lips like a starving predator.

All that filled that dark room for a while was nothing but the soundtrack of your insatiable hunger for each other. Both your muffled moans melting into each other, obscene sounds of skin against skin, lewd squelches coming from your sopping wet cunt…

“Listen to you. Fucking dripping,” he sharply hissed. “Go ahead baby, you can soak me more. Don’t be shy.”

“Fucking— Just— Fuck, you’re— How d— oh my GOD!”

“Aww, I know baby, I know,” he placed an unnecessarily chaste kiss on your forehead. “Getting fucked by your man so good you can’t even talk properly. Am I doing that good of a job pleasuring you?” 

“You’re doing perfect, baby.”

“Am I still your good boy, Sunny?”

“Keep talking like that, and I’m gonna fucking bite you!”

“I dare you,” he breathily spoke, more like a threat than a challenge. “Kiss me. Then bite me. As hard as you can.”

You could try to wriggle away all you wanted, but Jay’s grip on you was like a deadbolt. You weren’t able to move an inch. He slowed way down and watched the way he disappeared into you while biting his lips so hard they were about to bleed.

“See? See how it slides right in? I turn you on so bad you can’t help getting wetter,” he shoved a couple of fingers inside your mouth to suck on. “Night after night, I dreamed of this. You. Getting so fucking wet around me that I have no choice but to cum.”

You weren’t able to talk anymore, but what you really wanted to do didn’t require any words anyway. You swirled your tongue around his fingers and looked at him so desperately that there was no way he wasn’t going to react to this.

“Don’t look at me like that with those begging eyes, or I swear to god I’ll breed the shit out of you,” he landed a light smack on your thigh and took his fingers out. “And you best believe it’s going to hold. Your walls are so swollen already.”

“All talk, no play. You’d fucking better finish inside,” you rattled him. “My pussy’s too pretty not to be eaten or creampied, and that’s a fact.”

“Yes, it is. It fucking is. It deserves to be creampied first and then eaten.” He threw his head back in absolute ecstasy, maniacally laughing to himself like he was losing his mind. “And you already know I swallow.”

He channeled all his focus on your annihilate button, the spot inside you that made you see the stars. The curvature of his cock was angled just right to end you, and if he pressed with just the right pressure…

“Now let me hit that exactly the way you like it.”

He buried himself into you to the hilt with one sharp thrust. Once he bottomed out, he pushed a little more forward and started hitting that spot hard in a staccato rhythm like a pulse, never once pulling back.

“Oh, FUCK YOU!”

“Right there, isn’t it? You love getting this spot fucked,” he was more than satisfied watching what he was able to do to you. “God, you’re literally ascending, baby.”

Only at that moment did Jay realize one of the closet doors to the left side of him was plated with a mirror. Once he caught a glimpse of the two of you in the frame, he throbbed really hard inside you.

“Oh, jesus fucking christ…” he turned your attention to the same destination. “Nobody can ever do it like us, baby. Look how fucking hot we are.”

Jay being his otherworldly sexy self, fucking the life out of you like there was no tomorrow was already enough to blow your mind, but when you actually saw yourself getting fucked…

The amount oozing between your legs suddenly reached an embarrassing amount.

“Soaking the sheets, huh?” he contently chuckled at the trail you were leaving under you. “Time for my girl to give it to me good, then.”

He swiped his thumb on his tongue and started going to work on your clit. While you thought the level of eroticism itself was going to end you, it suddenly became…

Something else.

“I belong right here. Don’t ever leave me without you,” he started going harder. “I’m begging you. Please.”

You held him by his waist and pulled him in for a kiss with your arms around his neck. You were both overwhelmed by your emotions, unable to think straight. It was never just lust with Jay. Every time you fucked, it felt like a reaffirmation, a renewal of promises between you. You had badly broken and bruised each other once upon a time, but at the end of the day…

“It’s you,” you whispered into his mouth breathlessly. “It’s always been you. You own my heart, Jay.”

If you kept talking, the leash of his tears was for sure going to slip from his hands. He suddenly stopped and rested his back against the headboard, promptly making you straddle him to pick up where he left off.

“I’ve always loved you. Always. And I always will,” he rolled his hips into you. “Tell me you love me, baby.”

“Even after all this time,” you moved away the locks of his hair covering his eyes. “I still love you. I love you to the moon and back.”

To the moon and back.

To the moon.

Your Moony.

Jay finally lost all control and started fucking into you so fervently that it was impossible for you to endure that pressure.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Again, baby.”

“I love you, Jay.”

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum!”

He gently pushed your chest back to make room for his thumb and started rubbing you frantically. The second you contracted hard around him with that high-pitched moan, Jay let go and came really fucking hard as if he was having a spasm. He came so much, and it was so wet between your legs that you didn’t know which of those drops belonged to you and which ones belonged to him.

“Don’t pull out,” you grabbed him by his nape and pulled him closer. “Deeper. Fuck your cum deeper into me.”

“You’re driving me clinically insane,” he bit into your lips, then promptly kissed them along with your cheeks and your forehead. “Just like we always wanted, huh? The best of both worlds.”

You rode out your high in that utter state of bliss and collapsed on top of him, but even in his fucked out state, Jay clung to you like a koala bear. He kissed your shoulders and your neck, wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you into his embrace.

“I did miss you so much,” you started playing with his hair once you both calmed down. “But there are some realities we need to talk about.”

“You mean Nari.”

“Yes,” you averted your eyes from him. “I can’t just appear in her life just to disappear again, Jay.”

“But who says you need t—?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” you interrupted him. “I don’t even know if she would like me.”

“Well, considering she’s growing up with the fairytales I tell her about Sunny the Princess, I think she wouldn’t mind seeing her in the flesh, but I digress.”

“You what?!”

As he let out that on-brand, deafeningly loud cackle at your reaction and kissed your lips, you were thinking just how much you had missed even having your ears ring like that.

“I know the situation is not what we thought it would be, but Nari could be our child. We can give her a baby brother, too,” he pressed your hands on his chest. “I’m ready for this. If you’re also willing, just say the word, and we can have our happily ever after.”

A happily ever after. With Jay. Maybe the means of getting there didn’t really matter after all as long as you got to have it, but it wasn’t a decision about two people’s lives anymore.

“This seems too big of a decision to make overnight.”

“Then tell you what, how about we ease into it?” he propped up on his left elbow. “I take you out on a few dates, we fuck on the third date, and if you see a promise by then, you meet her by the tenth date. How does that sound?”

“Damn, tenth?!” you widened your eyes in shock as if he just insulted your entire ancestry. “I have to wait that long?”

“She’s hard to get. You can’t just appear in her life just to disappear again.”

You landed a well-deserved smack on his arm, but the picture he painted for you was more than fair.

“That sounds lovely.”

You kissed him to your heart’s content to avenge all that time you spent apart. With his eyes closed, Jay’s hands never left your skin as if to make sure that you were indeed real and right next to him, and this wasn’t one of those dreams again.

“I love you, Sunny,” he glided his fingers down your cheek. “You complete me.”

“Even after all this time?”

He flashed a smile so endearing you almost melted into a puddle right then and there.

“Further than forever.”

He wanted to punctuate that moment with a kiss at the expense of getting your lips painfully swollen, but the deeper he kissed you, the more something was awakening in him again. Before you knew it, his hands were slithering down your back and groping your hips.

“Already?” you looked at him all surprised.

“You have no idea about the drought I was in for years, so yes, already,” he pulled you under him and trapped you under his frame. “If you fall asleep, I am fucking you awake tonight, just FYI.”

© sinjaeyun no translations, reposts, or copying for any purpose.

you didn't think they would've caught you. they were out the whole day, for their schedules — singing, rehearsing for their next comeback, practising english.

never would you have thought your boyfriend's would've come back to you, panties hanging off one thigh, wearing sunghoon's large shirt while humping sunoo's pillow with an aggression never seen before.

your mind was blank white, hips stuttering and clit twitching against the rough fabric. you could barely even hear the door of the dorm open up, your name being called out by the sweet, calming sound of sunoo.

your own heartbeat filled your ears. the pillowcase was now damp, the scent of sunoo's fabric softener mixed with sunghoon's musky scent against his shirt pushed you closer to orgasm. you were so, so close, the pressure just right.

your mind fogged with every single fantasy you could think of, sunghoon's hands in your mouth as sunoo ate you out, sunoo fucking your ass as sunghoon fucked your pussy, your clit turning into mush because of their fingers and mouths, them tying you up—

"y/n?"

your eyes widened, hips stilled in an instant, a whining moan escaping your lips at the loss of friction.

sunoo.

your entire body had seized up, the delicious coil in your gun suddenly laced with a frozen dread as you turned your head.

there, in the doorway of the dorm, stood not just sunoo, but sunghoon behind him. sunoo's eyes were wide, his usual cheerful face now darkened with arousal, his lips glistening and plump, as if he had just licked them multiple times. and sunghoon's… his gaze over sunghoon's head was like a harsh lazer, tracking from your face, down the length of his oversized shirt that swallowed your frame, to your thighs, the one branded with your pretty panties, before the pillow that was clutched between your legs and the damp spot.

the silence was deafening, the sound sucked out of the room, only thing you could smell was your arousal and slicked pillow.

sunghoon's eye arched up, his voice, when it came, was dangerously quiet. "my… shirt?" he laughed, as if it was the most casual thing ever.

sunoo had seemed to snap out of his amusment, a smirk on his lips as he slowly leaned on the doorframe. "and… my pillow?" he tutted.

you couldn't move, or speak. your mind, which had been blank white with pleasure moments ago, now black white with sheer horror. the aggression of just seconds had vanished instantly, replaced by a tremble. you got caught.

sunghoon finally took a step into the room, eyes glimmering with an unreadable emotion. "and here we were so worried when you didn't answer your phone, baby," he said, voice decepively smooth. "and look what we came back too? a pathetic mutt humping herself on a pillow."

sunoo let out another loud, dissapproving hum as he stepped into the room, locking the door behind him.

sunghoon took long strides into the room, crouching down until his face level matched yours, eyebrows knitted and eyes a glimmer of something worse than anger: possessive disappointment.

"no words?" he cooed, tilting his head back. his fingers came out, not to slap you, but to trace the heat between your legs, collecting the slick that fell onto the pillow. "you were so… horny. so desperate. and for what? a piece of fabric?"

sunoo had joined you, the mattress dipping as he sat down behind you, lips curling into a mix of disgust and desire on his lips. "we left you alone for a few hours," he hummed into your ear, voice still honey like. "we trusted you, not to touch yourself, not to get off like a fucking dumb puppy you are. but now look at you, agains my pillow, in hoon's shirt?"

sunghoon's fingers, coated in your own slick, came up to hover between your face. he examined them, the glisten in the soft light, expression unreadable. "see this?" he whispered, voice a low vibration that went straight to your core. "this is ours, every part of you. it's ours."

sunoo's hand slowly slid beneath the hem of the shirt, sunghoon's shirt, splaying across your stomach. his touch almost possessive. "you don't get to decide when you feel like this," he murmured, "you don't get to use his scent, my space, to get yourself off. you were just being greedy. taking what isn't yours."

sunghoon finally brought the fingers slicked up with your arousal to his own lips, eyes dark and locked onto yours as he tasted your sweet desperation. a shudder hand ran through you, part shame, part arousal.

"and a simple piece of fabric," sunghoon repeated, leaning in so close you could feel his breath. "you thought his pillow could replace us? that smell of cotton could give you what you wanted?"

sunoo's other hand came up to your throat, not squeezing, but holding it with a harsh grip, one that'd leave a mark for the next day. "you need to be reminded," he hummed, final sweetness in his tone dissappearing. "you need to be show the difference between a substitue and the real thing."

without any thought, the both of them had snapped off their trousers in a second, sunghoon already positioning his large cock against your hole, pushing in his mushroom tip into that small hole. you could feel the way his cock stretched out your hole, just enough for the pain to tear through your throat.

sunoo, on the other hand, had reached towards the bedside table, dipping to grab the cherry flavoured lube, squirting a generous amount down your backside, letting it drip against your puckering hole, and on his fingers.

"this might sting, pup." he growled into your ears as his middle finger slowly wriggled and pushed into your ass. the feeling made your eyes shoot wide open, a choked cry ripping from your thoat, caught between the stretching fullness of sunghoon pushing relentlessly into your cunt, and the cold, slick burn of sunoo's finger trying to open you up from behind.

sunghoon's groan was deep as his hips flushed against your hipbone as his tip had just breached the tight walls of your cervix, pausing not for your comfort, but to savour the tightness, your gummy walls convulsing around him. "fuck, this," he groaned, tilting his head back. "this is what you really needed, not sunoo's pillow, not my shirt. but us."

he didn't move, rather he held himself there, a throbbing ache forcing your body to accomadate every impossible inch he was giving you. as if he was waiting for sunoo to enter you as well, you know what they say, teamwork makes the dream work.

from behind, sunoo's hum turned dark as his finger worked deeper, the cherry lube a sickly sweet scent as it mixed with the musk of sex. "so tight back here," he laughed, voice deeper, a contrast from its usual honey. his lips had found the shell of your ear again, nibbling softly, as his index finger had joined his middle finger, opening up your asshole with a scissoring motion. "all locked up in this room. were you saving this for us, too? or were you just too busy being a desperate mutt against my pillow to remember you had other holes for us."

your back arched away from sunoo as you felt the sting, the stretch painful and making you wail outloud. your mind jumbling once again, sensory overloading on that agony, yet it was still that very crazing you wanted and was being punished for. you were pinned between being split open by them, a toy for them, or being used as a doll for them.

sunghoon had finally moved, a slow, devestating drag out before plunging back in, setting a pace that lacked any rhythm and was more animalistic than anything. "you feel that, puppy?" he breathed, forehead dropping to your shoulder. "feel how you take us, this is what you were made for. to be filled, by us."

you heard the sound of sunoo's tip slapping against his stomach, before shlicks had filled your ears. head tilting back and puckering at sunoo's own lips, earning a laugh from him. "so needy, arent you?" he mocked, landing a small peck onto your drool covered lips, before sliding the girth of his cock into you.

you let out a painstaking scream, one that could even be used in a horror movie if really wanted to. the stretch was almost insane, you were being split away into two. "taking us so well, maybe we should leave you alone more often. maybe next time with a vibrator strapped to your clit, how would you like that?"

and those words made you clench. sunghoon let out a groan of pure agony and pleasure. "fuck," he gritted out, hips stuttering, held in place by your sudden clench. "so responsive. even if your punishment turns you on, doesn' it?"

sunoo let out a low strained chuckle from behind you, his own rhythm of his hips broken as he thrusted in and out of your tight ass. "see? a filthy dog who had learned a bad trick. you tightened up like you were trying to keep us inside forever. that what you want? to be stuffed full, used up, left dripping?"

he shifted, angle changing just enough to make you gasp, the overwhelming sensation and stretch from the two men borderline too much. as sunoo had waited for your response, he'd gotten impatient. a large hand landing straight down on your cheek, a red blooming mark appearing.

"answer him," sunoo demanded, voice losing its last edges of any sort of sweetness, just one full of pure horniness. "do you want to be our used-up little thing? or desperate, greedy, puppy?"

sunghoon pulled back, just an inch, enough to look at your ruined state. how your thighs were spread apart by yourself, how sunoo was forcing you to bounce on his lap, how there was a small belly bulge where sunghoon sat. it was everything. "use your words, tell us what you are. tell us what you did."

the stretch, fullness, pressure from both sides and their degrading words had coiled inside of your stomach, tears rolling down your cheeks, leaving soft marks against the foundation. they wouldn't move, wouldn't give you time to tell them what you were.

"come on, baby. dont you want to be a good girl, just for us?" sunoo laughed, rubbing circles against your cunt as he continued to thrust up.

"f—fuck! i— i'm your puppy, your— toy… only something you guys can me for! i touched myself without telling you both." you whimpered out as much as you could've. your mind fogged and tummy tightening at the feeling of an orgasm.

"good girl, so good." both of them coo'd, whispering praises as they continued to bounce you on their laps, your mouth hung open as you clutched onto sunoo's bicep and sunghoon's shoulder. "pleasepleaseplease—" you gasp out, words as a last warning as your back arched up, eyes closing and a squeming was fell all over their abdomens.

only after you clench, they had let three more thrusts pass through your over sensitive pussy and ass, sunghoon shooting the hot nut right against your cervix, as sunoo had just let free, cumming in you as soon as he could, wanting to get rid of his boner.

you could only moan, cry and sob. your whole body fully twitching as your stomach slowly grew due to exessive cum inside of you. only to slowly pull out, your ass gaping slightly, clenching around nothing, begging to be filled as cum oozed down your thigh and on the bed, making sunoo let out an awe.

soon, sunghoon followed after, cock still hard as ever as he reached for his phone, taking photos of the beautiful site. because, oh no. this wasn't over.

it never is over.

You have been to the gym more times than the library.

Not because you’re particularly athletic. No, God knows you’d rather nap. But it’s rather because of a certain six-foot Japanese guy named Nishimura Riki, who’s obsessed with having you watch him stretch before his basketball practice. Says it helps him focus better. Says you bring him luck to his games. Whatever it is, you are happy to indulge with his requests, if it means you get to have your free Baskin Robbins after his gym sessions.

And now, as the two of you walk down the pavement, hands brushing with each step, you’re brought back to three years ago—when Riki was still a head shorter, when his voice still had the childlike lilt to it, when he hadn’t gained all the mass and muscles he has now. The only thing that remains constant is this: his routine of dragging you to his stretching and practice sessions.

It still brings a smile to your face whenever you recall that moment, and Riki never fails to notice every time.

“You have that motherly sentimental smile on your face again,” he points out, eyeing you down like you were dirt on the ground, and you might as well be for how tall he is. “Whatchu thinking ‘bout?”

You roll your eyes. “Good old times, Ki. When you were less annoying and less tall.”

Riki snorts. “I’m always annoying. And taller than you.”

“Fuckass alpha genetics,” you grumble under your breath, the sharp end of your elbow meeting his ribs in a playful nudge. Riki lets out a loud hiss, draping his arm around your shoulders in a harsh tug.

“What’s got your panties twisted, my favourite girl?”

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that I could’ve slept in instead of going to your alpha gym.”

“You love me too much to refuse me.”

You feel the air leave your lungs. That statement shouldn’t make your stomach twist like this, like you’re caught doing something you’re forbidden to. But if liking your childhood friend—your annoying, tall, and too-hot-for-his-own-good friend—is considered illegal, then by all means you’d rather serve your time in jail than admit it to him.

So you scoff, feigning annoyance as you shove his limbs off your body. Swinging your legs faster, you mutter something enough for his ears to hear, hiding the redness that blooms across your cheeks. “You know I only love your mom.”

“Yeah, but only for her sushi, though!” Riki retorts, chasing after your steps and catching up with you after a maximum of three long strides. Curse his long legs. “I know you’d marry into my family for her sushi.”

“I don’t plan on being a homewrecker. Konon is taken, and Misora is like my little sister.”

“Well, there is me.” There he goes again, making your heart stutter in your ribs, taking your breath away with words that might be simple to him but bring an entirely different meaning to you and your poor feelings. You bite your lip, refusing to answer. Riki takes it as a challenge.

“I’m the real deal, y’know?” Riki wiggles his eyebrows, hogging up your space like a fly, gauging your reaction with that smirk you know all too well. And fuck him for saying the truth. You really wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off his handsome face.

“What, for being an alpha?”

“Especially for being an alpha,” he replies, a cocky smirk adorning his plump lips, to which you just roll your eyes. 

He isn’t wrong, and that’s what you hate the most. Alphas are sought after; as a leader, as an heir, as a symbol of dominance and power. They’re at an advantage with everything, including their physique. You have never seen a short alpha; at least none is shorter than you are. Alphas dominate sports, finance and business, politics, education, and even medicines.

It’s hard to argue with Riki’s point of him being the real deal, when the very system you live in is the truth and proof to his claim.

People always want an alpha, and that fact will stay forever so long this system still exists. And it’s a bitter pill to swallow because you also belong to that category—not exactly because you need an alpha, but because a certain first love of yours is, unfortunately, an alpha.

Unfortunate, because alphas only want omegas as their mates.

Not betas. Not you.

And Nishimura Riki is not an exception to that equation.

You are so lost in your own thoughts that you almost missed the entrance to the gym, if not for Riki tugging your sleeve to bring you back to earth. You blink, look at the sign, and sigh.

“Tell me why I’m here again.”

Riki’s face lights up with a grin, dragging you to the entrance. “Because you’re my emotional support,” he jokes again, earning a glare from you.

His voice rumbles in a deep timbre when he chuckles, his other hand pushing the door open and instantly, the familiar chime of the bell greets you with a cold breeze from the built-in air-conditioners. 

Riki turns to you again, ruffling your hair affectionately, the same way he did when the both of you were eighteen; the same way he did when he was thirteen, begging you to wish him luck on his basketball match; the same way he did when you were eight, after you scraped your knees in the playground from a foul play.

“And because you’re a beta, you’re not affected by our pheromones.”

It’s a harmless reminder of your subgender, but it stings nonetheless. You give the receptionist a tight smile, hoping it doesn’t show the resentment you feel towards the flawed system, hoping the cracks from your own heart didn’t make its way into the lines of your mouth.