Odd question, why do you want to be called It? Isn’t that “pronoun” dehumanizing?
I like to be called “it” because the last thing I want to be on this planet is human.
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Odd question, why do you want to be called It? Isn’t that “pronoun” dehumanizing?
I like to be called “it” because the last thing I want to be on this planet is human.

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by Elina Magalimova
I love the incredibly fair and functional justice system in Ace Attorney
It was written as a parody of the fairly corrupt Japanese legal system, exaggerated for both humour and gameplay reasons, giving us such lovely gems as:
They don't have manslaughter
It's never stated outright to my knowledge, but it's generally implied that the penalty for murder is universally or near-universally the death penalty
Trials are legally mandated to go on no longer than three days, no matter how complicated they can get. The lab analysis for a poison isn't completed in three days? You can't use it in the poisoning trial. Your witness can't be tracked down on the last day? We go to the verdict without their testimony.
Everyone is assumed guilty until proven innocent. The defense attorney has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, within 3 days, that their client could not possibly be guilty, or they're gonna get a GUILTY verdict
In practical terms, this means that if your client is innocent, you have to not only prove that but usually find the actual killer within the three days to show it's a different person. This isn't officially mandated as part of the defense's duties but in pretty much every case it's what Phoenix has to do to exonerate his client, even if he's otherwise proven the killer couldn't be (or is extremely unlikely to be) his client.
Both sides can just show up to the courtroom with new evidence and demand it's accepted as evidence during the trial. There's no verification process for this and no requirement that the other side has access to it pre-trial. You can show up with a letter in hand and halfway through the trial be like "this letter was found in the victim's apartment!" and it becomes part of the case then and there.
There are no restrictions on where or how you can find evidence. You, a defense attorney who doesn't work for the police force and has no equivalent of warrant law, can break into a witness' house and steal evidence from his personal safe to show in court the next day. This is not a crime apparently.
It's normal and accepted that the prosecution will coach all witnesses, usually telling them to lie. It's a huge advantage when you get to interrogate a witness who the prosecution hasn't been able to tell what lies to tell yet. They never face repercussions for this.
The prosecution will frequently falsify evidence. They receive no punishment for this and are allowed to continue practicing law. Witnesses will regularly lie on the stand; they receive no penalty for this and the rest of their testimony is still considered reliable. It's up to the defense attorney to expose every single lie; if you can't prove a word against your client is a lie, even from the mouth of a known liar, then your client must be guilty of it.
All of your trials are overseen by the same judge and he is comically incompetent. This isn't an oversight of the game he is deliberately written to suck at his job, be easily bullied by the prosecution, generally have very little idea what's going on and issue his verdict based on Vibes.
The lawyers will straight up make bets mid-trial with each other like "if you can't find a problem with this next witness' testimony, you have to admit that you're wasting our time and the verdict will be Guilty". The judge lets them do this. This is considered practicing law. Prosecutors will also physically assault other lawyers and the judge in the courtroom but this is okay because it's funny.
The cops work directly for the prosecuting attorney and the prosecuting attorney will openly threaten police witnesses right there on the stand in front of everyone if the witness isn't saying what the prosecution wants them to.
The level of corruption in the prosecutor's office is just. I couldn't describe it in a bullet point. Prosecutors are straightup hitmen for hire and their weapon of choice is the death penalty.
Phoenix gets physically assaulted and robbed by prosecutors and witnesses a lot more than one would reasonably expect. Someone's always there to beat this poor lawyer unconscious and steal evidence from him. He never makes backup copies. That's not the legal system's fault but dude buy a photocopier for your office.
Guess who's about to get tased and robbed in the police precinct evidence room by a highly respected and successful prosecutor!
Guess who didn't make photocopies of the evidence that's about to get stolen!
Wait wait lemme add some things
Prosecutors have full access to crime scenes and it is implied that they lead the police investigations
Defense attorneys are not supposed to engage with the crime scene or investigate at all! (Hence why phoenix has to worm his way in or break into crime scenes to get evidence)
It is expected that all evidence AND witnesses come from the prosecution. The fact that Phoenix brings in his own evidence and witnesses is *weird*
It is implied that not only do trials have to end in three days, but if a trial lasts that long everyone is very confused and miffed about it. The judge was very torn about having to go a second day on one trial bc he made dinner plans
False evidence is solved by "whoops, I'm sorry, I didn't know" on the side of the prosecution.
False evidence from the defense can result in the attorney being disbarred even if the false evidence came from the prosecution in the first place
There is a game where defense attorneys literally get the same sentence as their defendant (put to death) and thats why [insert place here] has no lawyers anymore
Apparently the defense is allowed to have random citizens join them at the bench as legal advisers. These legal advisers happen to sometimes be an 8 year old
While it does seem that things have actually improved somewhat as a result of reforms, it's worth noting here that at one point Japan quite infamously had a conviction rate of 99.8%. The real life Japanese legal system had been described as being "guilty until proven innocent" and a "hostage justice system". Ace Attorney isn't just a "parody", it is a deliberate political statement, a cutting satire of an infamously broken system.
It's not the only game that portrays the Japanese Justice system that way either. The unfathomable awfulness of the Japanese legal system is also a theme explored in other games like Persona 5 and Ryu Ga Gotoku's Judgement duology (a spinoff of the Yakuza/Like A Dragon series).
how it felt to fight mad mew mew’s body dysmorphia while hatsune miku serenades me in the bg

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I don't think I'll ever forget this chapter.
She's... Here. After 8 long years.
Couldn’t Leave the Dutch girl out.
Héloïse got that drip whether she wants to or not.
the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist
partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”
employee (completely blank expression): “No.”
partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”
employee: “We don’t have that.”
partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”
employee (face still unreadable): “No.”
partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”
other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*
Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.
theories I’ve considered:
- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)
- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)
- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism
- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)
After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.
partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”
employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”
partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”
employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*
partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*
employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*
other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*
new theories:
- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three
- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness
A few additional updates/clarifications:
Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey
Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper
Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:
Ok like. Imagine life without ads. You wake up, check your messages across a variety of apps, no ads. You get up and put on the tv while you prep your breakfast, no ads. Maybe you drive somewhere and switch on the radio, no ads. Maybe you drive a long distance, yet somehow, not a single billboard on your path. You pick up a newspaper or magazine to pass the time, no advertisements only articles. You turn on your game console, the home screen is just about your games, no ads to buy more. You open a streaming app, you don't pay extra for no ads, there's just no ads ever.
Think about how much of your time is spent looking at ads. "Download ublock" yeah I know, I have. But that doesn't change that the world is covered with endless advertising. Imagine never seeing that again. How much better our lives would be.

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Odd question, why do you want to be called It? Isn’t that “pronoun” dehumanizing?
I like to be called “it” because the last thing I want to be on this planet is human.
KOSA again, with a different name… and they’re trying to sneak it past you before July 4th. CALL YOUR REPS!
Buried inside the KIDS Act are provisions that will push online services to verify all users’ ages, require government-directed moderation p
Like the man said…the shadow takes another form and ruses again. Time to make some calls and let them know we’re watching.
Just called my senator and the aide said "Yeah, you're not the first person we've heard from about this today." It is 9:45 in the morning and she already had that weary tone.
So keep calling--the needle is moving!
Everyone keeps saying that kris is "third wheeling" suselle's date in the festival which i find fascinating. quick question is it still third wheeling if the couple asks you to come with and keeps mentioning how much they like hanging out with you???
Deltarune Chapter 5 Reading Comprehension Quiz
1) Why do you think that Flowery called Ralsei "princess" after suggesting that they did not need to follow the prophecy? What part of the prophecy do you think he was referring to?
1a) Why would the author specifically choose to make Ralsei's drink of choice blue and pink?
1b) Do you think the status screen using "their" instead of "his" after this scene is relevant?
1c) The secret boss of the chapter is Mad Mew Mew, a character from Undertale who is a trans woman. Do you think her placement in this chapter specifically is important?
2) Despite their romantic relationship, Noelle and Susie seem intent on keeping Kris with them during the festival, and mention things being "easier" with them around. Why do you think that is?
2a) When telling Kris to say "Noelle and you will work out", Susie says they mumbled the answer. What could cause them to respond this way?
2b) Even in the weird route, where Noelle has become obsessed with Kris because they "changed," she still is clearly shown to have feelings for Susie. Do you think this has relevance to the main route?
2c) Why do you think the author chose to include multiple examples of a "throuple" in previous chapters and this chapter?
Ladies and gentlemen but mostly ladies….

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My only CH5 post until the moratorium's over. Just my some quick thoughts and experiences with the videogame.