half elf

You have to hem *everything* eventually. Hemming isn't optional. (If you don't hem your cloth, it will start to fray. There are exceptions to this, like felt, but most cloth will.)

The type of cloth you choose for your project matters very much. Your clothing won't "fall right" if it's not the kind of stretchy/heavy/stiff as the one the tutorial assumes you will use.

Some types of cloth are very chill about fraying, some are very much not. Linen doesn't really give a fuck as long as you don't, like, throw it into the washing machine unhemmed (see below), whereas brocade yearns for entropy so, so much.

On that note: if you get new cloth: 1. hem its borders (or use a ripple stitch) 2. throw it in the washing machine on the setting that you plan to wash it going forward 3. iron it. You'll regret it, if you don't do it. If you don't hem, it'll thread. If you don't wash beforehand, the finished piece might warp in the first wash. If you don't iron it, it won't be nice and flat and all of your measuring and sewing will be off.

Sewing's first virtue is diligence, followed closely by patience. Measure three times before cutting. Check the symmetry every once in a while. If you can't concentrate anymore, stop. Yes, even if you're almost done.

The order in which you sew your garment's parts matters very much. Stick to the plan, but think ahead.

You'll probably be fine if you sew something on wrong - you can undo it with a seam ripper (get a seam ripper, they're cheap!)

You can use chalk to draw and write on the cloth.

Pick something made out of rectangles for your first project.

I recommend making something out of linen as a beginner project. It's nearly indestructible, barely threads and folds very neatly.

Collars are going to suck.

The sewing machine can't hurt you (probably). There is a guard for a reason and while the needle is very scary at first, if you do it right, your hands will be away from it at least 5 cm at any given time. Also the spoils of learning machine sewing are not to be underestimated. You will be SO fast.

Hey Girlie Pops,

Between TikTok and Tumblr, I’m seeing way too much bedrotting and overwhelm about what actually needs to happen to clean a room or maintain a home. There’s a real gap in basic home-training skills; and the people filling that gap are often alt-right tradwife influencers and crunchy pseudoscience. So! I am here, as your big sister who’s been living alone and maintaining clean, functional spaces in both surgical/clinical and cozy domestic settings for 6 years now, to teach you the basic tools, how they work, and how to keep your home clean cheaply and effectively. This is homemaking for Competent Women not patriarchal nonsense. I'll cover pet care and pet cleaning routines and supplies in a follow up post, and these are all going to be tagged as #Big Sister Chats

≽^•⩊•^≼ Tools and Supplies ≽^•⩊•^≼

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ The Perpetual Tools ♡ Basics You Actually Need ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

ᵔᴥᵔ An upright canister or Euro canister vacuum - not a stick vac. If you’re only going to have ONE vacuum, it should be a canister with real suction power and attachments. Supplement with a stick vac later if you want. ᵔᴥᵔ A Bucket ᵔᴥᵔ A Mop - Cuban, Spin, Microfiber, Sponge, Deck Brush… I don’t care, just get a good mop head. ᵔᴥᵔ A Broom ᵔᴥᵔ A Dustpan & Brush ᵔᴥᵔ If you have carpet: A handheld carpet cleaner/spot cleaner, and know where your local rentable wall-to-wall cleaner is (grocery stores, Lowe’s, Home Depot). ᵔᴥᵔ Rubber or heavy nitrile gloves ᵔᴥᵔ Rags ᵔᴥᵔ A Scrub Brush ᵔᴥᵔ A Plastic Razor Blade ᵔᴥᵔ A Garment Steamer or Iron (I am begging you and I promise it's worth it) ᵔᴥᵔ A lint brush, lint stone, or lint comb ᵔᴥᵔ A clothing drying rack or clothes line ᵔᴥᵔ A dish drying rack with mat ᵔᴥᵔ A Toilet Brush & Plunger Set ᵔᴥᵔ Two Laundry Hampers or Laundry Bags ᵔᴥᵔ A sponge with a non-scratch scrub side (Scrub Daddy, Scotch-Brite, whatever) ᵔᴥᵔ Plastic Drain Snake ᵔᴥᵔ An old toothbrush (For detail bits) ᵔᴥᵔ An Ironing pad

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ Nice To Haves ♡ Upgrades That Make Life Easier ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

ᵔᴥᵔ A Hand & Stick Combo Vacuum (Bissell Featherweight, Dyson stick vacs, etc.) ᵔᴥᵔ Your own wall-to-wall carpet cleaner (if you have carpet) ᵔᴥᵔ A Spin or Steam Mop ᵔᴥᵔ A Swiffer-type Quick Mop dusty and mist/damp mop system (O-Cedar Microfiber, Swiffer, etc.) ᵔᴥᵔ A Wet/Dry Vac (there are very cool all-in-one mop/vac combos now) ᵔᴥᵔ A Steam Cleaner ᵔᴥᵔ 1–2 divided cleaning caddies ᵔᴥᵔ Scouring Pads / Steel Wool ᵔᴥᵔ A Dish Brush ᵔᴥᵔ Dryer Balls ᵔᴥᵔ A Mini Bucket (for mixing small solutions) ᵔᴥᵔ A Duster (instead of just using dry rags) ᵔᴥᵔ Spray Bottles (Labeled with what's in them) ᵔᴥᵔ Dedicated sink plunger ᵔᴥᵔ Pumice stone for hard water and rust lines ᵔᴥᵔ A floor and a hand squeegee (Wet messes, pet hair if you do the rubber brush + squeegee thing) ᵔᴥᵔ Ironing Board/ Arm boards/ Tailor's Hams ᵔᴥᵔ Disposable Exam gloves

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ The Barest of Cleaning Supplies ♡ The Minimum Effective Arsenal ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

ᵔᴥᵔ Bleach or an ammonia-based cleaner - Something with actual documented pathogen-killing power (Clorox, Lysol) ᵔᴥᵔ Distilled White Vinegar ᵔᴥᵔ Scouring Powder - Bar Keepers Friend, Comet Bleach Powder, Baking Soda, pick one ᵔᴥᵔ Oxygen Bleach / OxiClean / OxyPowder ᵔᴥᵔ Castile Soap ᵔᴥᵔ Laundry Detergent - powder, liquid, pods, doesn’t matter just something effective ᵔᴥᵔ Carpet cleaning solution (if you have carpet + a portable carpet cleaner) ᵔᴥᵔ 90% Rubbing Alcohol ᵔᴥᵔ Hydrogen Peroxide ᵔᴥᵔ Enzyme Cleaner (if you have pets or a period)

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ Nice To Have Cleaning Supplies ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

ᵔᴥᵔ Cleaning solutions for any “Nice to Have” machines - (steam mop, carpet cleaner, wet/dry vac) ᵔᴥᵔ Dish Soap ᵔᴥᵔ Surface-specific cleansers - (stone-safe, wood-safe, bathroom-safe, etc.) ᵔᴥᵔ Mirror & Glass Cleaner - (Though 50:50 vinegar + water does this very well) ᵔᴥᵔ Canned Air for electronics ᵔᴥᵔ Screen Wipes / Screen Cleaner ᵔᴥᵔ Metal Polish ᵔᴥᵔ Leather Cleaners ᵔᴥᵔ Beeswax Block ᵔᴥᵔ Lemon Oil ᵔᴥᵔ Essential or Fragrance Oils - These do not CLEAN they're to make things smell nice, and be sure to check which ones are compatible with YOUR pets ᵔᴥᵔ Fabric Softener ᵔᴥᵔ Fabric Scent things (sprays, rinses, beads, etc) ᵔᴥᵔ Spray Starch ᵔᴥᵔ Wrinkle Releaser ᵔᴥᵔ Ironing Spray ᵔᴥᵔ Color Safe Fabric Sanitizer ᵔᴥᵔ Dryer Sheets ᵔᴥᵔ Dishwasher detergents & Rinse additives (if you've got one) ᵔᴥᵔ Washing Machine Cleaners - If your machine works with these AND you have them in home, but honestly, hot water + a baking soda scrub + rinse + vinegar will do this too ᵔᴥᵔ Laundry Stain Remover Pre-treatment (tide pens work pretty well here tbh) ᵔᴥᵔ Niche fabric detergents (woolite, delicates detergent, etc) ᵔᴥᵔ Drain Cleaner/Liquid plunger ᵔᴥᵔ Citric Acid or other hardwater problem solver if you have hardwater issues ᵔᴥᵔ Carpet Powder

≽^•⩊•^≼ The Routines ≽^•⩊•^≼

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ Daily Maintenance ♡ Because it's easier to keep clean than get clean ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

Mornings: ᵔᴥᵔ Make the bed - Your mom and that navy admiral guy on all of the inspirational vertical shorts accounts were correct. It starts your day off correctly with an accomplishment and it makes your room look better ᵔᴥᵔ If you have in unit laundry and a load, start it before class/work/etc ᵔᴥᵔ Do dishes as you cook or right after eating ᵔᴥᵔ Quick Trash check - if it's full, smelly, wet, etc, take it out on your way out of the house

Evenings: ᵔᴥᵔ Switch your load from the morning into the dryer or onto a drying rack ᵔᴥᵔ Quick sweep of clutter and things where they don't belong back into their rightful places ᵔᴥᵔ Quick run through with a broom/dust mop/swiffer/stick vac (your surface level quick cleaning method for hair, crumbs, dust, and dirt) ᵔᴥᵔ Dishes, get that sink cleared nightly and wipe it down and a quick pass over your prep surfaces (you can literally take your wet sponge from doing dishes, wring it out, and take a hand towel after it) - it's the same concept as making the bed in the morning, so that you start and end your day with an accomplishment ᵔᴥᵔ Put away any laundry you did that day, pull out and prep your outfit for the next day (iron/steam out wrinkles, hit it with a lint roller doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't even have to be starched, just presentable and not looking like you grabbed it out of the laundry pile and slept in it) ᵔᴥᵔ As Part of your evening hygiene routine, wipe down the bathroom sink for toothpaste worms, makeup dust, etc. Grime will build up quick in bathrooms

Keep In Mind: These are all 2–10 minute tasks, totaling about 30 minutes to an hour of maintenance per day. Doing these small resets cuts your deeper weekly cleaning from 6–8 exhausting hours down to 2–3 manageable hours. This isn’t about perfection. This isn’t about being a Stepford wife. This is about saving time, energy, and effort for Future You, so she’s not stuck doing disaster recovery every Saturday.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ The "Adulting" Midi Cleans (1-2x weekly) ♡ for a little more heft (1 hour max in addition to above daily) ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

ᵔᴥᵔ Run the Vacuum, just... hit the open floors, should take you maybe 10 minutes per room assuming fairly large rooms, my entire apartment takes me about 20 minutes and 30 minutes if I'm wrestling with the stairs, and I only do stairs once a week ᵔᴥᵔ Quick scrub the toilet, just a quick inside the bowl with the toilet brush, swirl (not even 90 seconds) ᵔᴥᵔ Hit all the kitchen and bathroom countertops with a quick wipe without moving your knife block, spice rack, etc. (3-5 minutes a room) These are your touch up cleans, Not your deep cleans, not your maintenance cleans

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ The Weekly Reset ♡ 2-3 Hours Active Time ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

Bedroom: ᵔᴥᵔ Sweep under the bed ᵔᴥᵔ Strip the bed and throw the linens in the wash (Pillowcases, sheets, duvet covers, mattress pad/protector) - Blankets and comforters that don't have a cover should be laundered monthly, covers and sheets should be laundered weekly, and inserts should be laundered every 3-6 months ᵔᴥᵔ Gather any dishes that didn't get caught in the daily sweeps ᵔᴥᵔ Vacuum ᵔᴥᵔ If you have hard floors: Mop and dry with a towel (a towel under the feet works great for this and you can use your dirty towel from the bathroom) ᵔᴥᵔ If you have carpet: use carpet powder or baking soda on freshly vacuumed carpets and let it set while you clean the rest of the house, then vacuum again at the end ᵔᴥᵔ Remake the bed with clean linens (either the ones you just stripped, or a secondary set) ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe mirrors and surfaces ᵔᴥᵔ Dust frames and bookshelves ᵔᴥᵔ Tidy Nightstands, put books away, etc ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten Drawers and closet

Bathroom: ᵔᴥᵔ Clean Makeup and Skincare Brushes/Sponges ᵔᴥᵔ Launder towels, washcloths, and bathmats ᵔᴥᵔ wipe down toilet exterior, toilet seat, sink, and tub with lysol or bleach solution ᵔᴥᵔ Scrub any necessary stains away ᵔᴥᵔ wipe mirrors ᵔᴥᵔ Chemically clean toilet bowl (lysol or bleach into the bowl, then scrub with toilet brush) Living Space/Office: ᵔᴥᵔ Vacuum and mop ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe Down Surfaces ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten throw blankets and throw pillows ᵔᴥᵔ Sort Mail into shred, address, and file ᵔᴥᵔ Clear your junk mail tab in your email ᵔᴥᵔ Empty digital and real recycle bins ᵔᴥᵔ Hit upholstery with a lint roller Kitchen: ᵔᴥᵔ Vaccuum and Mop ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe Down surfaces, cooktop, and oven; move knife blocks,spice racks, and small appliances as needed ᵔᴥᵔ Thoroughly clean any small appliances like toasters, coffee makers, or air fryers ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe down sink ᵔᴥᵔ Check fridge for expired goods, wipe down one shelf (rotate which shelf you wipe down through the month) ᵔᴥᵔ Check freezer and scrape frost if necessary ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe the microwave out with a damp cloth if you have a microwave Outside and Entryway: ᵔᴥᵔ Sweep leaves, dirt, and gravel from front step, shake out welcome mats and entry rugs ᵔᴥᵔ Tidy your shoe rack if you have one ᵔᴥᵔ If you have dogs, now is the time to clean up poop in a back yard. ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten up outerwear, "dump tray", and purse/bag ᵔᴥᵔ Check the car for random fast food trash or general clutter

It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.

Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.

In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.

Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:

Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)

Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)

How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)

Gardening

Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)

Country/Rural Living:

Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)

"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)

Sewing/Mending:

Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)

Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)

Sustainability/Land Stewardship

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)

Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)

Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"

Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.

"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)

Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)