Call me Hemlocke

[EXTREMELY HAUNTED & HOLLOW-EYED LOOK] yeah man i’m doing. Really good

now draw him with a pussy

sometimes people will insist a character is butch/masc and then you look at the character and they’re just fat. or muscular. or black. or indigenous. or some combination of the above.

not only do i put a little line through my 7s but i put one through my Zs too. i’m sick and twisted. you’re never getting out of this network of caves alive.

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

ever since i was a little girl i’ve had dreams of becoming an eccentric middle aged man

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

(flirting) i could be your problem

it baffles me when people say “i got tricked into watching this show for a ship that isn’t even canon” bro if those men had kissed, you would’ve SEEN it. i’ve seen gifs of men making out in shows i have no desire to watch. i’ve seen sex scenes from movies that nobody has ever heard of. when men kiss on screen, i am notified

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

Not that there's anything wrong with having something wrong with you

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.