i’ve missed you forever

god limp bizkit was right everything is fuck everybody suck -________-

nvm she texted back Siri play butterfly by crazy town

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

happy ten years of pissing on the poor

creating is so fun and rewarding and i hate doing it

*nervously walks up to the mic* h-hi everyone, so has anyone ever heard of this new thing called suckmy?

what's suckmy

s… suck m…… suck my……….. my p…… my pe……… *breaks down sobbing*

i dont bite people anymore. but i did as a child cos i thought i was a werepuppy. also i was still mormon so i would go into the school bathroom at 11:11 everyday (not a mormon thing i was just obsessed with witches n pretended i was one in 5th grade) and pray that god would turn me into a little dog so i could stop going to school. and i was always like "if you don't turn me into a little dog i will STOP BELIEVING IN YOU" and he didn't so i did.

i love unhinged women but i also love women who try so fucking hard to be hinged. clinging to those hinges by her fingernails.

yall are a little too good at replicating the old tumblr fandom posts please stop i feel like a veteran on the fourth of july

every girl should be allowed to lie on the floor for 16 hours a day to cope with the agonies

I wish my cat had a phone so I could text him while I’m at work and tell him I love him and I miss him and he could send back blurry pictures of random things, incomprehensible gibber texts, and audio recordings of his crinkle ball

I love the phrase “he would not fucking say that”. Truly encapsulates the number of times I have read a fic where a character would not fucking say that

Jeff this is not a bad joke