Chapter 1: Zuko tries to bond with Izumi as a baby
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29229954/chapters/76782611
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Izumi was a loud baby, especially when she cried.
āZuko, can you hold her for a moment? I need to get something from her nursery.ā Mai shoved their 8 month old baby in his arms and Zuko freaked.
āM-Mai! You know Iām bad at holding her. I donāt even know how to get her to stop crying!ā
āIāll be right back!ā Mai called out from the hall of the palace.
Zuko bit his lip and looked down at his daughter who was glassy-eyed and hiccuping, āUhhh hi.ā
Izumiās face pinched up and she started bawling, squirming, and reaching out in the direction Mai was walking. Zukoās heart sank.
āPlease donāt cry.ā Izumi wailed louder and Zuko cringed.
āIzumi please stop. I didnāt do anything.ā Izumi started shoving at him and Zuko felt shame creep up his throat.
The thing was, Zuko had always been good with kids. He had experience when visiting the schools in the capital and the then colonies, Maiās little brother, all the little Water Tribe and Kyoshi Island kids that would swarm him whenever he came to visit, and his little sister Kiyi. Zuko was just naturally kind to them, with a touch of awkwardness. He felt sympathy when they were scared or sad because deep in his heart, he never wanted a kid to feel the way he did all those years ago.
When Izumi came along, it was as if he took ten steps back. He was so afraid that heād turn out like his Father or even worse and traumatize his own child. Heād try to hold Izumi when she started recognizing Mai as mom and him as dad but once she hit five months she didnāt want him to hold her at all.
Zuko panicked and raised his voice, āIzumi!ā The baby stared at Zuko for a second , quiet. She got a look on her face that Zuko didnāt like, āOh no. No no no. Iām sorry!ā Izumi started wailing and hiccuping and Zuko felt awful.
He tried to plead with her to stop but she didnāt understand, āIzumi, Iām sorry! Iām a failure!ā Zuko felt a lump in his throat as hot tears streaked his cheeks, āI donāt know how to be a father Izumi. Iām sorry you deserve better.ā
Izumi settled down a bit and pouted as Zuko cried, cradling her perfectly for the first time ever. She reached her pudgy hand up to his cheek and wiped it, in a way, and stuck her hand in her mouth. Zuko stopped crying and stared at Izumi. She gurgled and Zuko smiled a bit.
He shudder and sniffed, chuckling a bit, āHey, donāt do that! Thatās gross.ā
Spirits, emotions are crazy.
Izumi scrunched her face up and opened her amber, monolid eyes, smiling at Zuko. Zuko stared at her in disbelief, a half-smile creeping its way to his face, āIām sorry, Izumi. Iām still figuring out how to be the best father to you. I promise that Iām trying my best.ā
Zuko stood up with Izumi, āWhereās that thingy your mother always...here.ā He picked Izumiās baby blanket, a silk, red, blanket with a black border. He set the blanket down and laid Izumi down on it, āHow do you swaddle a baby...I heard you small humans like that.ā
Izumi squirmed and Zuko chuckled, āYou know, youāre super adorable.ā He swaddled Izumi, poorly, and tried to rock her around. It took him a bit, since he was clumsy, but he eventually got a good hold on her. Izumi squealed, which cracked a huge smile on Zukoās face.
Mai had gotten back from the nursery five minutes prior. She stood by the doorway, watching Zuko and Izumi. She wanted Zuko to spend time with her since Izumi was always with her and not him. Firelord duties and fear got in the way of him making more of an effort.
āHey!ā Zuko cooed to Izumi, āHmm, what would Mai doā¦ā Zuko got an idea. He brought Izumiās head closer to his and pressed her forehead to her. Izumi smiled which made Zuko smile. He started bopping her a bit, trying to get her to laugh. Izumi squealed and Zuko chuckled, closing his eye, āI- l-love you.ā He stammered.
It shocked him a bit. How hard it was to say something that seemed so simple. Yet it made sense. The word love wasnāt something he understood growing up. He didnāt understand until he met his friends and grew up with Mai.
Him and Mai had to figure out together what love meant. When they were teenagers, they didnāt even know if they loved each other because they never had someone tell and show them it. They grew closer because they learned how to love together.
āI never want you to know a world without love, my princess.ā He said in a quiet voice. Izumi was beginning to grow sleepy, āYour mother and I will try our best.ā Zuko kissed her forehead and smiled, āI love you, my princess.ā
āGAH! Mai! You startled me!ā Zuko squeaked.
She rolled her eyes, āI was gonna play with her but it seems like sheās tired.ā Mai walked over to Zuko and gave him a side hug, resting her head against his shoulder to look at Izumi.
āYou know Mai, I think Iām getting the hang of this whole dad thing.ā
She chuckled and said in her straight-toned voice, āI knew you would.ā