Lucky Dinosaurs

The best part of the beach is pretending to fight the ocean by beating the shit outta them waves

I always lose but it makes me feel important, and it’s fun

Cave divers are our bravest, most useless soldiers

But without cave divers, who would rescue all the stuck cave divers?

Every cave dive rescue operation involves a second, even more stuck cave diver.

I love birdwatchers they’re like “I just saw my ALL TIME FAVORITE BIRD SPECIES! I’ve always dreamed of seeing one in the wild! I am ECSTATIC!” and it’s the most boring looking little brown bird you’ve ever seen.

And I’m watching the video like “whoaaaa what’s it going to be! woodpecker? red-headed woodpecker? eastern whip-poor-will? northern mockingbird? it’s a Bachman's sparrow? oh, okay. neat.”

I’m sorry to admit this and I would never do it in real life because I have an immense respect for wildlife and specifically the delicate nature of birds. That is the most grabbable animal I have ever seen. It looks free for the taking.

Anyway my stance on fiction and online harassment is shaped by the fact that I had unrestricted access to the local library from about the age of 8 and read quite a few books with fucked up content that I might have been a bit too young for and that caused absolutely no long-term damage to my mental health; meanwhile I was bullied mercilessly by my peers for several years and I’m still dealing with after-effects of that.

Couldn't imagine loving an english person. "Blimey that's a wedding ring, 'innit" - like come on, get it together

Let me have this. Look at the state of my country. Let me have this.

So is mickeys dick smasher the new terminology for an inverted bell curve

@worldheritagepostorganization @hellsite-hall-of-fame

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

I forgot that Americans spell it "mommy" and that therefore "strong as fuck ice mummy" was unabiguously about some sort of undead ice lich, and not ambiguously also about a sort of buff frosty milf archetype like I had been imagining for most of the past couple of years

How does it feel to walk about the world and perceive with such profound transformative capacity

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be