Post Tenebras Lux

I saw this comment on the post I reblogged just before this one about how black people are only palatable when they’re funny and not when they’re showing pain or being dramatic and…

Happens in real life too. I’ve seen it happen to me, the instant I stop being funny, and I share my pain or discomfort, people get turned off, they ignore, they unfollow, they accuse me of ruining things, being negative.

I’ve been having an issue where it feels like I can’t talk with other Chris fans because 90% of them ship him with Wesker or Leon.

Wesker was his boss and later the antagonist of the series. It’s very similar to Mulder/Krychek (which people also ship). I personally do not see it. Chris doesn’t seem to really care more about Wesker than anyone else. Everyone says Chris and Wesker were close but he, like everyone else, called him Wesker. (His first name is Albert). People say it’s a rank thing but the other S.T.A.R.S Captain who also outranks Chris, is always referrred to by his first name. I thought it was familiarity but Rebecca the rookie who JUST joined and calls Chris sir because he barely outranks her tells me that it’s probably a distance thing.

Like how Mulder has everyone call him that.

Anyways, I know. I’m wrong.

If you ship Chrisker, don’t bother arguing why I’m wrong. I know in your mind you think Chris and Jill were “just friends”.

Chris spent 2 whole games looking for Jill and most Chrisker fans didn’t play Rev1 or consider it canon even though it is because Wesker wasn’t in it, so they won’t know that Jessica spent half the game trying to fuck Chris and he turned her down at every opportunity only to be immediately up Jill’s ass when he found her 😂

“Revelations isn’t canon bc it doesn’t have a number”

“Code Veronica is canon even though it doesn’t have a number”

Okay.

Also, I don’t care if people ship Leon and Chris because at least you can argue something because Chris was gay as hell in 6. That, I can see. I can see Chris and Leon being a thing. Hell, I shipped Piers and Chris hardcore when 6 came out. But Chris and Wesker?

Come on.

“Some people like problematic ships”

Yeah, so? Some people like to complain on their own personal blog because they’re not going to go ruin that shit for the people who do ship it, even though those people come and say some incredibly shitty things if you don’t agree.

I remember once I wrote a short fic and someone DMed me to lecture me about it. I’ve never been condescended to so thoroughly and I’ll be honest, that was the beginning of the end for me.

I know no one is going to miss my writing or care but I thought I would share why I stopped since some people seem to enjoy my writing. I like to feel connected to the characters I’m writing about but with Mulder and Scully, it felt like I couldn’t, like I wasn’t allowed to. Other people could write Mulder badly out of character, but when I do it, i “don’t really understand the dynamics of the ship”.

So I just stopped after years of feeling bad. I went back to my old fandom, and I’ve been writing prolifically—more than I ever did for XF and the difference is that I don’t really know anyone in the RE fandom and the people I do, love my writing. Most of my friends love my RE writing, and they can see all the love and care I put into it. I put a lot of love and care into my XF fics but I felt like people didn’t see that. It always felt like nothing I wrote was good enough.