little bird

La'ara - Lily Of The Valley

This is the poison of giving too much. You feel yourself emptying out, dizzying, discoloring-- until you fear you will fade entirely and wither away. You have always had to give. You never had a choice before. They pluck your flowers for their beauty, they trample your leaves carelessly, they pull out your roots by the fistful and berate you for daring to grow. And now that you have a grove to spread out in, your rhizomes tangle and curl in on themselves. When cruelty is all you've ever known, thriving seems impossible. But the answer is not to make yourself small and offer every lovely thing you are to the world in the hopes it will have mercy on you. The answer is to let yourself dare to thrive for thriving's sake, to grow in the wild ways you wish to-- and to do that for yourself for once.

Ríonach - Oleander

This is the poison of stagnation. You grow drowsy. Your heart rate slows, and when you do move you can't seem to stop shaking. It may seem to others that you're lazy, or reticent. Like you avoid hard work on purpose, like you always take the easy way out. But you know deep down that it wouldn't be like this if you weren't so tired, so deeply tired. If you weren't crushed under the weight of sorrow like a mile of water over your head. Nothing brings you peace, except rest and-- though you can hardly dare to ask-- having someone tend to you gently and sweetly. A good gardener speaks to their plants, sings to them, waters them, fertilizes their soil, prunes the dead parts, nurtures the new growth. You yearn to be cared for like that, even though you feel you don't deserve it. The secret is that you do. You always have. And someday, you'll learn that, and receive that care, and the exhaustion won't keep you from growing strong and lovely anymore. You were never the problem. These are simply poor growing conditions for you.