Prince Philip is the most badass prince EVER. And here's why.
Okay, so heâs got a girly face, and he wears tights and some high boots. Sure.
But check out that noble steed. Thatâs one ready-to-kick-ass-and-take-names steed.
While other princesses just run away and leave nothing, Philip gets AN INVITE TO HER HOUSE. He gets a song, a dance, and a first date.
He comes home, just to tell his dad heâs not going to marry the princess because heâs in love.
No. Other. Reason. He rides in and is just like, âI met the girl Iâm going to marry. Now Iâve got a birthday party to be at. Bye Dad.â
Now how much do you think his dad weighs? That short fat little man? Probably pretty heavy.Not a problem for Prince Philip.
And then he gets jumped by goblins, both hands tied behind his back
But thatâs not enough to stop Prince Philip.Oh no.
He breaks his hands free and starts chucking goblins.
Look at that face. That face. The âBITCH JUST YOU WAITâ face. He may be tied down by a dozen goblins but heâs not gonna take no shit from this witch.
In fact, heâs so strong, she ends up keeping him chained to the wall, but he still fights back.
Now when he finally does get freeâ
Heâs ready to go into battle UNARMED. He donât need no shield or sword, heâs going to go punch Maleficentâs face in with his fist. If Flora didnât stop him, he probably would have, too.
Backed up against a cliff edge, nowhere to go. Fighting off goblins. But thereâs so many and just one Philip.
NBD IâLL JUST JUMP AND SLIDE DOWN THE ROCK PILE IN MY SKIN-TIGHT TIGHTS.
who gives a fuck? certainly not prince philip.
Lighting hitting rocks around me?
Bitch, get out of my way. Iâve got a princess to save.
Fire? Dragon? Burning dry twigs? No. Fucking. Problem.
Just smack that bitch on the nose.
Sheer cliff face? Fire burning behind me? Back to a wall?
Calm down guys, I got this.
IâLL JUST FUCKING SCALE IT ONE-HANDED.
And fight the bloody beast from 500 feet high, with literally nothing to save me if I fall.
Lose the shield off the cliff?
JUST STAND THERE AND SMILE âCAUSE IâVE GOT A FUCKING MAGIC SWORD THATâS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEART BITCH.
Just chuck it. Straight through.
Then jump out of the wayâŚ
And survive. Thatâs what happens to bitches who mess with the woman I love.
thatâs how he EARNED his happily ever after.
Srsly. The most bad. ass. prince. disney ever wrote.
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