suckinitup

Old man doodle

IT'S HEREEEEEE!!!!

This is my piece I did for The Suckening Zine!! The BIGGEST thank you to the organizers and mods because this project was such a incredible joy to be a part of!

So uh... it's been a while.

queen: oh no… it’s taking him so long to learn how to pretend he’s supposed to be where he isnt… what did he do with the guards?

orpheus: he left them standing at their posts, my queen

thabk

anyway emizel timeloop au where it always always ends with him dying. at first thats on purpose- lmao whats a little death to a guy with nine lives. if he’s cursed or something then this is a perfect way to get out of being cursed right. but dying doesn’t fix it- he just keeps waking up in the same place each time. no control over his respawn. just the same day, over and over again, until he dies.

Emizel used exuberant suicide as away to gain control right. he likes using it to shock people and gain the upper hand. its something that makes him special. something that let him get one over on the weylin twins over and over again. if something isnt going his way he can just kill himself and get a fresh restart

Imagine tho . The slow realization . that he’s not dying on purpose anymore. the death count going higher and higher and the cat isnt counting at him but this should be his ninth life. and he loses it. And then he wakes up again anyway

See now im at a standstill tho because theres two ways to take this:

A) emizel’s time loop ends when he stops killing himself as a solution to his problems (which follows him taking control in ways that dont involve self destruction- self improvement and all that good shit)

B) Emizel keeps being killed in the time loop regardless of what he does (touching on themes of loss/helplessness/getting a footing and having it swept away from you and what it would do to his character)

Shilo time loop has been considered and honestly i am struggling with him because hes just. hes so shilo. a lot of his problems are caused by misunderstandings/not knowing things and a time loop would let him fix them again p handily. hes smart enough to learn from his mistakes is his problem. old people a bad thing to bring to a kickass vampire fight? ok he wont do that then thumbs up 👍 faking unconsciousness to find deacon gets him blood bonded to edward twilight? not this time!! every situation is so new to him i think he would handle a time loop the way he handled the unseen one and the lunarchive aka by being the most chill beast succeeding at diplomacy and sticking steadfast to his goals.

BUT.

one thought i had was getting him looped into the finale. experience the horrors over and over again. stress test him and see if he ever eats ben or the receptionist. let him kill edward twilight and then repeat that whole awful night. good shit

BUT x2

shilo has learned a lot. he lost his innocence trait. send that beast back to the beginning. he goes to sleep after the fucking cullen games are over and done with. Left his brother behind to burn to ash. and he wakes up at home. in his bedroom. in his coffin. the very same day he saw the castle for the very last time.

He’d try so HARD to change things he’d try SO MUCH. do you remember that very first person executed when they pronounced his name wrong when delivering blood. that keeps happening every single morning but he knows what it means now. he knows the value of these lives that keep ending because of Him. i think hed still send people to their deaths just so he can get out of his room i dont think knowing these sacrifices has changed his willingness to reach his goals (especially if it means saving his momma) but i do think it weighs on him.

new thought new thought.

have him repeat that night they rescue the dangs over and over again. he can never save everyone. he Always frenzies. sometimes he gets theo to help him kill. sometimes he kills theo just as emizel comes in. that first person he tore the throat out of always dies.

and then theres the aftermath. theres always the aftermath of sitting with what he’s done, unless its one of those loops where emizel accidentally kills him. It makes him so mad that its always on accident. isnt he a monster? Doesnt he deserve to be put down?

but theres that aftermath. sitting in the bathroom or tied up in the car or pinned down beneath a pile of would-be victims. Time to think, and to mourn, and to grow numb.

time loop. turn the clock back on his progress. bring back the blithe attitude towards death. give him more. his teeth- his words- blood in his mouth. what is the difference, and why should he care. people die and they will always die and he cant save people.

at least once i want him not to go on that rescue mission at all. i want that loop to end with him in the bathroom again, staring in the mirror, and wondering if it will restart again or if he’s just lost emizel forever.

but ARTHUR. because he is an rpg guy. is trapped by the whims of the dice and the world. he's the idea of a cool, suave vampire mentor placed into a world where approaching a women in a car park at night is an extremely terrifying thing to do. there are consequences to his actions!! he's not perfect!! he's just a guy who thinks that appearances are important. he has spent so long vamping it up that interacting with humans is difficult for him. he faces problems and overcomes those problems because he is competent (anya; airport sunlight) NOT because he's cool and cool things happen to cool guys. he is desperate to find a cure. his flaws and failures have turned him into a guy, not a story's mechanism, who feels emotion, who does really catty things, who gives up so much that he prides himself in, and that matters. because he is capable of actual failure instead of conceptual, dry, trope failure, it matters when he succeeds, and it gives the audience the opportunity to root for him as a character instead of someone's idea of a character.

shilo i think would do best with casual dresses. yknow shit youd wear out to just vibe. nice summer dresses or a cure lil thing from walmart. there ARE dresses out there thatd fit him for formal wear but i just keep thinking about ballgowns and i dont think hed enjoy that. hes gotta have covered arms/shoulders and all the dresses with capes are too simple and seductive. his asexual swag </3 but for now he gets something light and fun and casual for dresses. be free shilo. enjoy playing at civvie life. accessorize insanely

emizel doesnt give me dress vibes unless its torn dress he ripped to be able to move thru the club faster or unless its horrifying medical gown. i think he’s a skirt dude. This is probably at least partially because of the ctommy art ive seen of the block menace in skirts but i also think he would enjoy the opportunity to hide large weapons, at least before the vampire shit. after vampiring i think shorter skirts and maybe even skorts would be his jam because then thats less clothing to soak up the excess blood. practical ysee.

just to make sure theres no secret awesome techwear dresses out there im not thinking of i googled it and i found this for over one hundred dollars