The Internet is for Fandom

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs

i was on. a new sleep medication last night

"scalp massage" this "scalp massage" that it's ok you can just say it. Boys like it when you pet them

this could work. we never tried it

Sound OFF

okay. listen. I try not to be pedantic about this sort of thing but it’s starting to get on my nerves. the wire mother offers milk but not comfort. the cloth mother offers comfort but not milk. if something is comforting, fun, or otherwise compelling, but lacks substance, that is the cloth mother. if something is boring or unpleasant but has substance, that is the wire mother.

things are heating up in the unethical experiments fandom

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

dudes will be like "if you don't Contribute To Society you don't get to live, that's the simple facts" meanwhile their job is like Marketing and Brand Development Specialist