dog account

I am a dog. I am hardly capable, easily stressed, and unhappy with what I am expected to do in every current moment and in the future. It is not possible to believe that I am meant to fill the roles any person must fill, from the hard stuff to the mundane. I can do it now, I must, but there is no way I was intended to. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember.

I get happy when I call myself a dog. By framing the non-existent "solution" to this as a part of the identity, I have never felt satisfied in an understanding of myself. Y'know, because there's not a solution or one definite relief.

I took my dissatisfaction over my identity at face value, then tried fixing it by mulling over core facets and details I thought I was missing. If my current overcomplication doesn't work, I thought, then I simply need even more information on myself.

I did this until everything became so cloudy that thinking about this identity became impossible. I knew far less about myself in August 2024 than I did February 2024.

For the most part, I was aware I was fucking things up, but that didn't really help me at all. Since I didn't know what was causing this bad thinking, I couldn't do anything about it. Got it right eventually. The problem is I try to solve everything. Knowing that got me out of all of my self-inflicted confusion pretty fast.

There has been other facets where I've tried to find a solution until everything is worse. That's where all my label trouble, which I don't think I've talked about here too much, has come from. I knew I had to stop worrying about that nearly a year before I was able to.