my diary

silly me!!!

I FUCKING DID.

how long has it been? hours? minutes? decades? i want this feeling to go away.

it was too heavy to carry around, why couldn’t i feel light like the other children?

and wonder if i’ll ever get my own

i just want to go

you brought me into this world and i can never wipe my impact away

she’s everywhere

it’s manipulative and evil. i just want to look innocent. i want to look peaceful. and i want you to say you love me.

2021 and i still sound like a broken record.

because if i wanted someone to do it, i wanted to be small. because if it happened when i was young, i had an excuse. a reason i was stupid enough to let it happen. i’m sick.

i know it’s what i’m here for.

i am not present

so where do i go???

please!