once more for the people in the back

I like noticing details that no one sees

I just saw someone who listed his occupation as “potential boyfriend” I’m speechless

[Image ID: A screenshot that says "If you can correctly guess my favorite beer, chipotle order, or celebrity crush I will venmo you $1". ./ End ID]

life is good again (ordered something online)

life is bad again (account was charged)

LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN (PACKAGE ARRIVED)

if u call me baby in that soft voice i’ll do whatever u want me to do

i wont tell anyone how im feeling cuz im no snitch

i will snitch to strangers on the internet tho

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

the epic highs and lows of ordering something online

oh i get it now the torment is eternal

no more recovery im going to walk into the ocean and turn into sea foam