things my partner & i have said to each other pt. 1
“I look like I want you to ask me to play Hey There Delilah.”
“Today was good! I learned a little more about you… You learned on two separate occasions I have fought a child…”
“This isn’t very cash money of you.”
“Stop right there, criminal scum.”
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s not my first alcohol. I had to slam a shot of Nyquil every night for a month straight.”
“Listen here, bucko!!!”
“You know what, I could roc a croc.”
“I’m gangly and move bombastically. I’m exactly the kind of person to yeet off a patio.”
“You’re my McFavorite.”
“You’re the type of person I wouldn’t be surprised if I found you in the wild slurping down pixie sticks.”
“The age of consent is Texas.”
“Kermit is my real dad.”
“Wow, you’re swo rwude you hwurt my fewlings.”
“Hmm… could it be… SATAN…?”
“Drugs? Are there drugs?”
“How frigin-- No, how hecking DARE THEY?!”
“Yeah sure I would touch a boob.”
“That’s going to haunt me for the rest of the year.”
“I will vomit on you.”
“You’re going to baby prison!”
“I tried to fight a centaur man… and smooch several fish. In that order.”
“REWARD ME, NINTENDADDY.”
“This is _____, she’s my momsona.”
“Is that… furry art…?”
“What can I say? Tax evasion is rad.”
“Gimme the three-month-old cow tiddy juice, dammit.”
“I just had the worst sex toy idea.”
“Bees have semen, right?”
“How dare you challenge my lamp!”
“You’re pretty cash money.”
“Anyways I’m gonna go buy a child.”
“Man, I wish we were lesbians…”
“Excuse you… You’re right… but also how dare you…”
“He eat the cheese, he scurry around campus to get degrees…”
“If we can’t make out in front of the cold dead eyes of a Furby then what the fuck are we doing?”
“I’ll pay my respects… with a bone smooch.”
“Your kink… We’ve found it.”
“Frigin… Don’t anime me on a Sunday morning!”
gummygunk
germansingergirl
origamiaround
prguitarman
dededos
janainaart